the sequence leading up to the guy putting his head on the track--beautiful. I also think the end is the strongest point as far as the writing goes. Very moving Brent, thanks for sharing and keep me updated as these shorts of yours manifest
The audio totally made this. The script was really good, but a little muddy at a few parts. I think those muddy parts would clear up if you made a clearer argument than 'I remember this day because' or 'One time some kid kicked my society cares test's ass'; I know, going back to writing 101, but there isn't an effective thesis, so there isn't a 'pop' or a 'huzzah' moment when you've otherwise completed the thought. I love the temper and speed, though.
This is really great. The quality of the audio is amazing. Brent's voice sounds perfect, the sound effects of the school and of Brent's kitchen are spot on. You guys have definitely created a great atmosphere with the editing, and the shots of the school are great as well. The shots of the plane, the football field, and especially the close ups of Brent's hands and concoction (tea?) are really quite moving in context to the story..
This turned out awesome, you guys. I can't wait to see more.
im making a video inspired by you ill post as video response, it should be finalized by monday the 16th
dMaTzZ 1 month ago
Very sick! Nice work guys!
IndyRiot 1 month ago in playlist More videos from lovebread4h8sandwich
Touching story my man, really moving. The dialog was well constructed! Excellent job!
...Sent here from the Pwnisher
TheGoodieRoom 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos 3
Why does this video not have more views?
jobywoot 1 month ago 4
@jobywoot because u didnt share it
RadialEffects 2 weeks ago in playlist Uploaded videos
@RadialEffects I did.
jobywoot 1 week ago
Beautiful Documentary! At this moment in time, I find myself speechless.
efxfreak 1 month ago
very, very well done! as TheRio966 said, it most definately was moving!
whereswaldo2779 1 month ago
beautifully done! I agree...moving.
TheRio966 4 months ago
the sequence leading up to the guy putting his head on the track--beautiful. I also think the end is the strongest point as far as the writing goes. Very moving Brent, thanks for sharing and keep me updated as these shorts of yours manifest
christopherdlny 4 months ago
This was truly amazing! I can definitely hear the "Jane Pickart" touch in the script. Wow.... absolutely breathtaking.
Joshuawolfe 4 months ago
The audio totally made this. The script was really good, but a little muddy at a few parts. I think those muddy parts would clear up if you made a clearer argument than 'I remember this day because' or 'One time some kid kicked my society cares test's ass'; I know, going back to writing 101, but there isn't an effective thesis, so there isn't a 'pop' or a 'huzzah' moment when you've otherwise completed the thought. I love the temper and speed, though.
lWlVl 4 months ago
This is really great. The quality of the audio is amazing. Brent's voice sounds perfect, the sound effects of the school and of Brent's kitchen are spot on. You guys have definitely created a great atmosphere with the editing, and the shots of the school are great as well. The shots of the plane, the football field, and especially the close ups of Brent's hands and concoction (tea?) are really quite moving in context to the story..
This turned out awesome, you guys. I can't wait to see more.
GreenFX 4 months ago