Mass Effect 2 - Mordins Medical Advise (Tali)

[mikenike245]

if i had to pick morden would be the one guy i save on the last mission( or garrus)

[clonemarine501]

XD

[Truepatriot67]

Diagrams? Oils and ointments? This guys a sicko

[alchestbreachsbramin]

Mordin: ive sent some booklet to your room

Shepard: sooooooo porn

Mordin: no booklets about positions and stuff

Shepard: ya porn

[Zenos127]

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIGURE OUT MY CHARACTER APPEARENCE AND RELATION PATH, ARE YOU MY STALKER?!?!?!

[Minecraftplayers12]

everytime mordin gives "medical advise" i think he really just wants someone to hang out with on his lonely nights alone and this is just his subtle way of saying it. either that or hes just being a jokester and yanking sheperds chain. the world may never know

[Lian1286]

@Minecraftplayers12 If you don't pursue any romances, Mordin suggests that you're attracted to him! He talks about how different species all seem to find him attractive, and says he can understand why Shepard is attracted to him. I'm sure somebody posted a video of that scene.

[Morveyn]

And this is why Mordin is the my favorite character of ME2 hands down. Sorry, Garrus.

[MrPardoMe]

Nothing says love like making your partner sick every time you have sex.

[Zlarel]

@MrPardoMe That'd suck. Every time you get the sniffles everybody'd know where you were last night :/

[TazminTv]

Advice booklet....Mordins secret word for Porn

[Unixtopable]

Shepard: grunt i even remember my first telephone sex

Grunt: telephone sex?

Shepard:its when you have sex trou a telephone

*X-ray* Mordin:it apears youre ok.....WHAT THE FCK...you have a telephone up your arteria

Grunt: fckn shepard

[Unixtopable]

Mondin's medical advice to garrus: maybe next time you will avoid rockets...NOOB

[lol23719]

Mordin: doctor,scientist,soldier and all around player

[secondgate]

"Oral contact with tissue dangerous..."

OK Mordin, say no more. I'll just go with Miranda...

[GeneralSpy]

"Cell Reproduction"? Classy, Mordin, Classy XD

[starscreamx7]

If Joker was in the room Shepard would NEVER hear the end of it

Joker: Hey where's Tali?

Shep: She has a fever and isnt going on today's mission

Joker: She's been getting sick alot lately *trollface*

Shep:......

[ARavingLooony]

Mordins solotion of getting rid of used porn dump it on Shepard lol

[TheBalls17]

Salarians Remind me of asian people.

[kittygomeow741]

masseffect2faces(dot) com /index. php?faceID=2086

theres the page it is on with pictures of what he looks like XD

[kittygomeow741]

one of the best male shepards ive seen is this. (well heres the code you enter on creation)

131.FG5.K6P.836.EDR.H7W.HH8.5C­6.UL5.2N5.461.6

[ShadeCrenshaw]

That ahs gotta be the best looking non-default male Shepard I've ever seen.

He actually looks NORMAL, and not like he has down-syndrome.

[kaliskonig]

man Mordin was my favorite character in MAss Effect 2. such a shame the ME2 cast wont be joining the crew it seems.

[tubrutolity]

@kaliskonig He is in Mass Effect 3. He helps you to get Wrex laid.

[KlineStife]

would never think of...mocking!

shit.

[Linkforlife199]

Mordin better be in ME3! It would be 300% more epic.

[johnnycajxrt]

@Linkforlife199 he will be in 3... dunno if he'll be a playable squadmate though

[ARavingLooony]

@Linkforlife199 he def is in ME3 i saw a vid w him in although i think he has a diff voice actor dunno why

[godfighter16]

so booze and mood music is still needed when studing cell reproduction?

[devilthrig]

Mordin is worse than facebook

[Tehweirdkat]

Ahhh bromance. Something women will never truely understand...

[deltasniper1023]

and to think the first time i played the game i really didnt like mordin much... until i saw this. XD

[Swesley93]

Studying cell reproduction, much simpler, less alcohol and mood music required.

As a biologist, this quote is gold.

[lildickheads]

your shepard looks like my dad

[IAmTheStig320]

Mordin: "Yo, Shepard, my man. What's up?"

Shepard: "Have you got a minute to talk?"

Mordin: "Actually, yeah, I heard you're gonna do it with Tali? That true?"

Shepard: "Yes. You have any recommendation as a doctor?"

Mordin: "Ahhhhhhh, hell yeeeaah man. OK, listen up, make sure you both take a real shower before you do it, or she'll die. Also, don't get her to suck your cock, cos she'll die. Finally, help yourself to my lube and trans-species porno collection. Good luck, man." *brochest*

[SinDawg030]

@IAmTheStig320 Mordin is such a bro :3

[Hermasuarus]

It's rare for a salrian to live past the age of 40, if anyone bothered to read thier codex. So ya he's probably in his 30's.

[halbrd]

@Hermasuarus If you looked at the Shadow Broker's files on Mordin you'd see that he's around 50.

[templar684]

@halbrd By Salarian age, Salarians actually never live to 50 human years

[ArcKing01]

My god, Mordin somehow made sex talk so god damn funny I almost hit the floor trying to hold my ribs in from laughing

[JamesBuffett100]

Mordin: Ultimate Wingman

[gv1955]

@JamesBuffett100

Not Garrus ?

[JamesBuffett100]

@gv1955 Are you kidding? He's busy with his calibrations.

[stonedfilmer]

You could probably make an hour long blooper reel with Mordin's lines. He talks so fast and says the funniest things. The voicer MUST have slipped up alot due to the former or latter.

[cooldude15k]

:(( mordin died in my playthrough

[swirlypoliwhirl119]

@cooldude15k aww man im really sorry for your loss, i lost thane, its hard to get over

[evenfall369]

Mordin: Certified Quarian/Human porn director.

[OrionoftheStar]

'Oral contact with tissue dangerous'

But the exact same second you remove her visor she jumps you and kisses the hell out of you.

Hey... quarian immune systems adapt. Maybe repeat exposure to Shepard will reduce the... risks.

[claudiosilva123]

@OrionoftheStar heavy risk but priiiiize

[RogueScholarBlue]

@OrionoftheStar I always thought when he says, "Oral contact with Tissue dangerous," he meant, well, you know. "Oral."

[OrionoftheStar]

@RogueScholarBlue True, but remember--ingestion of dextro-amino substances by a levo-amino (and vice versa) is very dangerous. Regardless of which... orifice... the substance comes from, getting it into your body would still have the same, or a very similar, effect. It wouldn't matter if it was saliva or other fluids, it is still an organic substance with opposite chirality, and thus would be dangerous.

[RogueScholarBlue]

@OrionoftheStar Yeah, I understood the physiological implications he was attempting to impart, it's just which erogenous area he was referring to that kind of had me going, "Wait...does he mean *there*?" He even mentions that Tali acquired antiseptics so it just seemed the most likely conclusion. But, yes, as to how their bodies might respond chemically, I had that explained a long time ago in the Tali Threads over in on the BioWare Social Network. Good times.

[sathanasluciferii]

Mordin: Breeder's.....*shiver*

[OurSurveySaysRAMPAGE]

EROGENOUS ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE­!

[Shirishama1]

Chakwas never helped this much in ME 1!

[liroyals7]

Mordin's medical advice for Grunt: "Don't."

[celticmoon88]

@liroyals7 DOMDOMDOMdomdomooodomDOMMMMMDO­OOmdomdommm

[TheOriginalElkstone]

@liroyals7 I have never laughed so much over a single line, good job

[Th3Fr33man]

@liroyals7 Oh Jesus.

[Morrowderp]

@liroyals7 If you were to romance Grunt, wouldn't that count as child molesting?

[KentaTakashi]

@liroyals7 Krogan's will piece you like a skewer through meat :I

[dddrrmm]

In brief: don't kiss Tally, don't swallow Garrus, have wild biotic sex with Miranda/Jack.

[gooyzit]

can you imagin the giggle in the recording studio

[johnnycajxrt]

@gooyzit i can only imagine the laughing from the people writing the script when the editors read it... along with the laughing from the voice actors when they first read it in the recording studio

[dijohn17]

Oral contact with tissue is dangerous. In other words head leaves you dead :)

[Laitharex]

@dijohn17 Only for tali as her immune system is weak.

[deathrooster14]

@Laitharex She still has the same amino acids as a Turian.

[Laitharex]

@deathrooster14 Yea, tell that to shepard, Tali jumped his ass as soon as her helmet came off.

Not dead...

[Heneghan2k9]

Seeing as there is homosexual romances in Mass Effect 3, I hope I get a ride on Mt. Mordin.

[FlintSparkedStudios]

@Heneghan2k9 Mordin is not homosexual...

[Heneghan2k9]

@FlintSparkedStudios when is that explicitly stated? And I'll resort to rape.. if necessary.

[FlintSparkedStudios]

@Heneghan2k9 Haha that may be your best option. I believe the Salarians just fertilize their eggs to keep the species going or something like that. He mentions something about their species not having a sexual drive

[YorkJonhson]

@Heneghan2k9 He does say if he were going to try human, he'd try Shepard. lol

[thelewisridout]

holy shit your shepard looks like mine with a goatee

i think yours is an evil twin

[OmniVoid]

Mordin is such a boss. This conversation is the reason that Tali says "...and it was totally worth it."

[MrChessboxing]

"electronic aid demonstration vids"

...porn?

[BandDevilDogs]

@MrChessboxing Exactly the word that went through my head too!

[AliceJasperfan]

wow Mordin has the hook up

[natedoggcata]

death by facefucking

[cloggers11]

Your Shepard is hot... that is all.

[LastODSTStanding]

@cloggers11 He looks like the guy at the Omega VIP section who asks you for tickets to Expel 10.

[6400loser]

heh, he reminds me of my first research mentor :3

[SavageRush012]

When M.E. 1 was first released, I didn't really care for Salarians, but after playing M.E. 2, Mordin quickly became one of my favorite characters!

[redspellthief]

Its even funnier when its female Shepard with Garrus. "...Ingestion could cause anaphilactic shock so don't *ahem* ingest:

[xShinobiDisasterx]

Basically Mordin just said to not let Tali give Shepard head..? FUUUUUUUUUU!

[massacreman3000]

@jarpasmannen

no, heres the real summary

"Weak immune system, dont let her lick you, heres some porn and diagrams"

[DorianBelial]

When he says he wouldnt dream of mocking shepard, i get the feeling is going to do a troll face, it makes perfect sense lol

[lemofun]

Hmmm... I wonder what advice he would give about Legion....

[1337ijs]

I never managed to get this scene. I was always too far along in the game, and not far enough with Tali, so Mordin accused me of falling for him.

[GamerElemental]

ahhh no Blowjob?

[bobaneko]

best doctor in the world infact im gona be like him trying to give sexual advises to people or relation ship adivces

[morgoth199]

mordin would be the coolest physician ever!

[TheSquall998]

They need to create a CD for Mordin and the Engineers. Combine their epicness into one amazing CD! 

[gmodzombieteam]

lol he says oral contact XD i cant belive they putted that in me2 :P

[ShaneMaesenko]

If this was the only scene I had to judge Mordin by, he is awesome. Just with this scene, he stays cemented as awesome (and alive).

[speeddemon847]

i cant belive that Mordin is a doctor, solder,singer, love guru, and he's only in his 30s

[AtholAnderson]

@speeddemon847 Yeah well hes gonna be dead in about ten years

[troggdorthesecond]

@speeddemon847 Actually Mordin's 50. He's one of the few members of his kind that could outlive 40, and knowing his genetic awesomeness, I doubt he'll be slowing down anytime soon. X)

[RiceMan9315]

@speeddemon847 For him, though, that's around his 60s-70s compared to us.

[HyperShadow89]

@speeddemon847 Salarians are short-lived. Most only live to their 40s, if I remember right.

[EAxMaverick]

@HyperShadow89 True to the word, they have fast metabolism...

[nwish425]

@speeddemon847 no i think he is 60

[StrudelN7]

@nwish425 30, 60 in human years i guess, somewhere around there

[20dodge83ma]

could you actually see the videos and is there an actual manual you could see in your private corters or is it all b.s?

[Matt561]

hmmm Oral tissue contact

[LastODSTStanding]

@Matt561 (No blowjobs for Shepard)

[njahmoon89]

As a doctor I have videos on all kinds of porn for...instructions.

[anonymous133711]

"well be here studying cell reproduction, much simpler. less alcohol and mood music"

mordin's gonna fap LOL

[FrigidAxe]

@anonymous133711 I don't think that "studying cell reproduction" means watching porn. I'm pretty damn sure it means looking through a microscope at cells dividing.

[0007HELIX]

I want Mordin to teach sex ed in my school. :(

[TheHappyspartan]

(later in the mission) shepard:JOKER run the scan looks like our ai got a bug in its software.

joker:uhhh... commander i didnt find any bugs but i did find something intresting

shepard:well?what is it?

joker:i just found 60 gigabytes of quarian on human porn

[mees462]

@TheHappyspartan

Awesome. Just awesome.

[dakwolf332]

its funny that hes giving the AI the porn booklets XD

[1ND1G0O]

Ive been looking all over my quarters and not once have I found any booklet!

[xOrangeTicTacs]

Shepard: "So, I'm going to have sex with Tali. Any advice?"

Mordin: "PURELL ON BALLS"

"Won't that-"

"I'M A DOCTOR"

[SRH911]

@xOrangeTicTacs

I wish I could favorite that comment.

[Poncho151500]

@xOrangeTicTacs Oh man, I seriously could not stop laughing after I read that.

[dddrrmm]

LoL He told female Shepard not to swallow...

[dancinginfernal]

Erogenous ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE.

[WolfenNights]

I want to see these "diagrams."

[LastODSTStanding]

@WolfenNights That is absolutley *cough cough* -I PMed you me email, send me them!- *cough cough* disgusting! You should be *cough* -honored- *cough* ashamed!

[crazyworld014]

Shepard: Hey Mordin I'm hitting Mrs.Hot Thighs any advice?

Mordin: Your seriously hitting that?!

Shepard: HELL YEAH

(Bro chest slam)

Mordin: Want some advice?

Shepard: Eh...

Mordin: What about some PORN AND LUBE!?

Shepard: This is why I love you man.

Mordin: No homo right?!

*both laugh as EDI finishes recording*

[GFuture]

@crazyworld014 hahaha great, especialy that part with "bro chest slam plus - "Wants some Advice?"" hah! God, thanks for my huge imagination! I actualy was a part of that scene standing near EDI hah

[crazyworld014]

@GFuture Thanks bro

[zachgilm]

@crazyworld014 Oh my god.

That just made my day.

[FrigidAxe]

@crazyworld014 Seems like chest bumping with Mordin would hurt, you know, with that thingy protruding out of his shirt...

[crazyworld014]

@FrigidAxe Shepard can headbutt a Krogan, be killed and brought back to life, and get mindfucked by an ancient Prothean beacon. What in the hell makes you think slamming a Salarian would hurt him?

[FrigidAxe]

@crazyworld014 Don't get me wrong, Shepard's BA, but he's not wearing armor, and that fucking thing sticking out of Mordin's shirt looks like it'd be painful to bump. Also, I'm pretty sure the headbutting a Krogan part hurt, too.

[crazyworld014]

@FrigidAxe I always found that thing more funny (I have no clue why) rather than harmful. Then again when you're the very model of a scientist Salarian, you can wear whatever you feel like lol.

[FrigidAxe]

@crazyworld014 What, you think that it's gonna be made of like, foam and it'll bounce around when they chest bump? That would be funny.

[battledawn1]

@crazyworld014 he can kill Krogans with punches!

[battledawn1]

@crazyworld014 *later that night* Shephard: Ok Tali I have something to see so I cant kill you with disease *turns on vid and looks at the positions avalible to not kill Tali* Tali: Is this really necassary? Shephard: Yeah I dont wanna kill you Tali: Mordin gave you this information? Shephard: Yes :( *Mordin walks through the door meaning to upload another video* Mordin: *Wide panicked eyes* Um.... I see your busy.. Shephard and Tali: yes... Mording: was giving video..

[silvertheowdude]

@crazyworld014 I am favorting this video all because of that comment LMFAO XD

[green123438]

@crazyworld014 I'm Commander Shepard and thats my favorite comment on the internet

[Tfirmin001]

@crazyworld014 Best...Comment...Ever...

[CharmieKid]

@crazyworld014 A chest slam with Mordin sounds pretty painful....

[crazyworld014]

@CharmieKid Dammit, not this again.

[CharmieKid]

@crazyworld014 Hmm?

*Looks at many comments about Mordin's chest*

Ah............I should go.

[gamesxlegendz]

@crazyworld014 hhahahhahah then edi sends to tali

[Shicbs]

@crazyworld014 I died when i imagined that in my head!

[Hellfire35]

@crazyworld014 wouldnt a chest slam with Mordin kinda hurt though?

[UnholyJesus181]

@Hellfire35

Love hurts, bro.

[xrickster97x]

@Hellfire35 yeah especially because i play as a vanguard, he probably go flying across the room.

[connorevens]

@crazyworld014 Im commander Shepard and this is my favourite comment on youtube!

[Annihilator27]

@crazyworld014 EDI has blackmail now...

[Snakebite105]

Is there a version of this for Jack and Jacob?

[Jabogers]

@Snakebite105 Only for the aliens, as far as I know. I think he also does the same with Thane. Mordin wanted to talk to me after I romanced Garrus.

[Heartless2141]

@Snakebite105 yes for every romance there is a version of this conversation for each romance.

[Emcmillin09]

Mordin is the doctor you see in the Viagra commercials shaking hands with the patient.

[jarpasmannen]

to sum up what Mordin said - "She's weak, so dont lick her pussy and oh....here's some porn I downloaded"

[valhar2000]

@jarpasmannen: Does she even have a pussy?

[drago336]

@jarpasmannen You forgot

"and wash your balls"

[Finkster5]

@jarpasmannen: Of course that's what we'd think, perverted minds and all. But oral contact to tissue? That could mean kissing. Anywhere on the body, really.

[Wargoat6]

@jarpasmannen Kind of a turnaround on Aziz Asari's bit about dying while eating a girl out.

[ShadowPenyah]

I wonder if mordin is making a baby with his test...

[CrashB111]

@ShadowPenyah I dunno man he does some serious shit with it throught the course of the game though.

[DarkNova50]

I fucking love Mordin.

[lightsshade]

be female and dont flirt with no one and he will think you likeing him

[crabclaw85]

That Shepard is hot. :D

[ThatTuckerKid]

I'd like to hear him explain how babies are "made".

[viperxeon]

So.. the ship is fully stocked with alien lube?

[ToastedWafflez]

Woah! Mordin can phails at relationships...I even got him attracted to me once...I was a man!

[sonicfan1996]

"Oral contact with tissue"? I think Mordin was on about a blowjob....

[awesomeJoz]

Mordin is the fucking best living creature in the universe

[Athanase48067]

Chafing.