Added: 3 years ago
From: TheOnion
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  • Or a ketchup or tuna heirees

  • Fail lol mcain it's McLain

  • wow I cant believe this is real

  • Hey! That was my plan!!!

  • LOL read the running text 1:30-1:50

  • @MARCHERET im sure your a crediable source!!!!!

  • i still think that McCains beer heiress economic plan is more logical and practical than obamas real one. Yahhh 2 trillion dollars in debute thanks to obamas fool proof plan. obama rly is showing he was the right choice. and look at all the change he has caused i mean just last night i say this guy light himself on fire put a brain leeche in his ear all while cutting off his penis screaming its better than one more day wit obama as president. you just didnt see tht kind of dedication befor obama

  • @LeroyJenkins4 Did this suicidal individual happen to be wearing a pointed white hood and white robes?

  • @Ilovevidgames123 no surprisingly he is just a struggling middle class man fighting to support his 2 children and wife. he is not white or black nor any other ethnicticy becease he represents all of us just  regular ppl who strive to stay out of debute and keeping food on the table. now obviously my illistration below is outlandish but many americans today are unhappy with their lives soley because of the massive amount of pressure the goverment has put on them with taxes. look around man.

  • @LeroyJenkins4 And apparently he didn't do any research on the subject, because taxes for people under the 'middle class' (I don't remember the exact income limits on it) tax bracket have actually FALLEN overall. The tax breaks that everybody thought never came promised in the stimulus bill? It did, but it was designed to be difficult to notice. It came in the form of a drop in income tax, meaning a slightly increased per hour pay after taxes. Obama's economic advisors believed releasing the

  • @Ilovevidgames123 tax breaks in this manner would be a more effective form of stimulus than a tax rebate. They thought it would subconsciously encourage people to spend more without even noticing it, helping end the stagnation of money.

  • this is so satirical.. brilliant

  • Pete - You can't drink beer anymore; how will you woo a heiress?

  • I'm a girl! Does that mean I'll have to become a lesbian?

  • @ElveeKaye I don't think anyone would mind you doing that. I believe that most of us will support that decision!

  • @ElveeKaye are you a beer heiress?

  • Well... my girlfriend is a heiress to... something. Does that count?

  • Fucking brilliant, as usual from the Onion. It's quite true, these politicians have no sense of reality at all.

  • What do I do if the beer heiress I like is straight??

  • I'm sorry there's no other option for you. D=

  • Advertisement video! on youtube! nooooo!

    Everything is becoming an ad!!!

  • Well, they have to earn money somehow.

    This answer was sponsored by Glagnars human rinds. Glagnar's Human Rinds are the type of treat for anytime! Whether your fishing, working, or just plain wanting some human flesh.

  • FREE BEEEEER!! xD

  • Don't do it. Don't anybody go out and marry a beer heiress, it's an evil trick from the government.

    They just want to put everyone in a higher tax bracket. It's evil but genius, they're counting on everybody being too drunk to catch on, from a lifetime supply of free beer

    God, I hope I get the St. Pauli Girl... "six mugs & big jugs"

  • @Chuichupachichi I really hope you understand that this is a joke

  • 1:16, "Avoid talking about your current Wife" LOL

  • Actually, marring a rich woman is very presidential.

  • lol I just loved the Web-Only Bonus Clip

  • this is so funny but sad because that is the reason mccain is so rich while plus the lobbiest go president obama

  • lol right cause obama wasnt backed by any lobbiest nor did he support them in his 1 year of political experience.........jesus people are blind.

  • Been saying it for years. FDR once said, "There are no mistakes in politics, everything that happens has been planned for months."

  • I agree completely, if not planned by the government, its planned by someone behind the curtain. I think J.F.K.'s assassination happening shortly after his announcement to shut down the federal reserve using an executive order would be a nice little hint as to who. Funny my last comment got -2 when I spoke nothing but truth in it.

  • JFK was as corrupt as any other leader. He gave the federal reserve MORE power and maintained an imperialist policy. I think we're overvaluing that man.

    Remember, there was a time when only the landowning aristocrats were able to vote within US. This changed due to the efforts (civil disobedience) of the people not elitist leaders.

  • i never said he wasnt corrupt....i can't think of any president that wasnt corrupt save maybe the founding fathers. However he was about to sign a executive order to shut down the Federal Reserve right before he got offed.

  • Founding founders were not corrupt? Last time I remembered, during those "great" times, only white male, land owning classes were allowed to vote. Hmm..I guess you could say, they were at least honest.

  • Well they knew it would start a civil war in their already brand new country.....that would have been pretty stupid of them to do that. Hell even Abraham Lincoln didn't want to free them and let them stay here. He wanted to send them back to Africa and Congress said no it was too expensive.

  • that was in FDR's time

  • OH SNAP! Michelle just got pwned!!

  • "Can U take Viagra with Beer? Maybe it's just the Beer Heiress. Someone Help!"(Chocolate Submission)myspace

  • VOTE HEMP vote for economy with all of it's commodities!

  • ha ha

  • shit i need to get me one of those!

  • HAHA....Marry a beer hieress...what abot people Already Married??

    I like & agree With "Seventhsun" comment. Why beer. you get more Money with Drugs HAHA

  • i'm joe the plumber, and i approve this message

  • lol

  • I really like that you guys do not wink and/or flinch in these videos. That is, thank you for respecting my intelligence enough that you don't need to remind me you're joking; the earnestness and sincerity are what make this funny.

    Also, it's awesome when I scroll down to find incredulous comments, like they're tryna call out The Onion like: "This isn't real!!! Dumbasses!" Just a little extra funniness.

  • @jawsquid I know! They take it VERY seriously, and THAT is what makes it so insanely funny.

  • @ShinyHappyVloggyPPL

    It's not real....

  • @ShinyHappyVloggyPPL

    It's not real....

  • America should elect a tired old man and a beauty queen. That would be a perfect ending for a real cheesy over dramatic story. Then write a screenplay,sell the movie rights,and have Asians make copies.

  • It's better than telling everyone to marry Palin. Speaking of which, I have a new video on Sarah Palin. Check it out.

  • I prefer marrying a female drug lord. Like Samuel and Sheila we can lie down together on most days of our waking lives intoxicated with marijuana and cocaine, putting off today's life-changing decisions for yet another tomorrow.

  • Ha! very funny. Sucks for his first wife though, guess she should have tryed to make more money. Because money is the way to McCains heart!

  • not a government handout? wtf

  • NO FREE RIDES!

  • Wow, it's good to see some actual news in this country. I'm glad there's people out there reporting this screwed up policy. I can't believe that this is real. Wow. How could we all merry a beer heiress? The ratio of unmarried men and beer heiresses is creatainly somewhere in the 1,000,000:1 area. I hope that this video changes a couple of peoples votes. You'd have to be a weirdo to vote for someone with such and outlandish and real economic plan.

  • lol, just lol. ITS THE ONION, ITS NOT REAL!

  • i think that it is funny that you actually think that this is real.

    maybe u should read a newspaper or watch actual news!

    this is all a joke!!

  • lol? this is a comedy channel

  • ! LUL

  • I liked the video. It was very funny. I thought the Secret Service guy on the right was very good. I think he was in Sopranos.

  • if this isnt real it should be lol

  • Wait! Beer heiress plan has a critical flaw! It will only save half the population of America. What about working women? Sane sex marriages are still illegal and not recognized in many states.

  • "and even finance their own presidential campaign"

  • Funny video, but unfortunately McCain's real economic plan comes off as comedy as well.

  • any pointers where to read his plans? found obamas but i have no idea what mcbush is going for. just trying to get the facts somewhat straight.

  • Andrea is awesome.

  • I wonder how bitter McCain will be if he doesn't win.

  • He will have a fit of rage! ;)

  • Seriously, why would a more successful, younger (by the time they met), and above-average beauty like Cindy would fall for an older, military pay-graded (not even reach Admiralty as his father did), and married man like John?

    Nevertheless, not everyday you can see a monetarily loaded princess and a war hero's marriage as commendable as theirs minus the political spousal image like the Clintons, and sadly the Edwards and other mistress-laden Capitol Hills' incumbents.

  • Yeah, why...married with 3 children? My guess that's the "power" or maybe she fell in love with his temper? I'm stumped!

  • I like John McCain but you are right, I have no idea.

  • I just want to have a beer with Andrea.

  • "This isn't a government handout. No one is going to be given a beer heiress. You'll have to woo one on your own."

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • I will be single and drink whiskey

  • All I can say is that McCain must be good at eating pussy. You guys better think about that.

  • Can't I just marry beer, instead of an heiress?

  • lol

  • the bonus clip had me laughing for like 6 minutes

  • hey, beer is a recession proof salary!  He made a good choice.

  • The Keating 5 were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s. The five senators, Alan Cranston (D-CA), Dennis DeConcini (D-AZ), John Glenn (D-OH), John McCain (R-AZ), and Donald W. Riegle (D-MI), were accused of improperly aiding Charles H. Keating, Jr., chairman of the failed Lincoln Savings and Loan Association

  • We all have a past we all change our minds about things over time. 2nd I don't believe your claims. You must have got them from the traitors of the USA Orielly, Hannity or Limbaugh or Fox news. McCain is stupid and has bad judgment. He was shot down because of breaking orders. He spilled all he knew about the USA troops when captured. He is NOT a hero, he's a victim with Stockholm syndrome. Hero's were those that got the hot head out of prision. Court Marshall is what he should have received.

  • So if you are white and like McCain you are racist?

    If you are black and like Obama you are racist?

    Stop the crap; I dont like Obama cause of his past

  • What if, like me you know OBama AND McCain are total bank-owned Socialist scum? Am I a people-hater?

  • hahaha, good one! WorldWideNewsToday, although I thought your post was very funny, I think you shouldn't post it anymore because some people might actually believe your lies and start spreading false rumors. Thanks.

  • Hypocrisy is lol. Thanks for the laughs!

  • ur right, its true

  • lawlz

  • lawlz indeed

  • more like rofloling ;)

  • "He pointed at his wife with his thumb, rubbed his thumb and forefinger together to make the universal symbol for money and winked lasciviously."

    lol!

  • Whoa whoa whoa...

    I have to woo my own? What kinda crap is that? I should be given a beer heiress! I want my reparations for slavery!!!

  • lol

  • i love the list they put up. night of love woooo.

  • "Our new model Haley, is a singing, dancing, snowboarding, half-Japanese, half-Indian girl. Now finding her in reality would be impossible." lol

  • oops replied to wrong onion video.

  • haha Avoid talking about your current wife.

  • McCain said in that tux, "Yeah bitch, I found me a sugar mama!  Now go find your own."

    I'm trying, I'm trying...

  • Tips for picking up a beer heiress - "Avoid speaking about your current wife." Awesome.

  • LMAO!

  • viva obama

  • hahahahaha.. hilarious! great job, this is one of the funniest political parodies i've seen in a while. five stars! :D

  • omg why didnt i think of that its so simple

  • Loved those last 5 seconds..how did she keep a straight face??

  • What did she say after "universal symbol for money?"

  • "and winked lasciviously"

    that's my best guess.

  • and winked lasciviously. lascivious=lewd and lustful

  • This is such a great plan! We all decided to marry a beer heiress! Now we also have free beer too.

  • lol.

  • mccains a cunt

  • Doesn't anyone realize this is a joke?

  • it's just as dumb as his real economic plan

  • nothing is that dumb.

  • At least he has one.

  • Teehee

  • McCain dumped his first wife when he came back from the war..she was disfigured in a car accident while he was gone and didn't look the same..he met Cindy while still married and left his wife for the millionaire.

  • if what u say is true thats effin insane!

  • lol "Avoid speaking about your current wife."

  • What about a Malt Liquor heiress?

    I know the Mickeys daughter. She lives in a crackhouse down the street. I am headed over there right now.

  • The Onion.

    Trying HARD not to give a damn about elections.

  • this man is a piece of DUKIE dangling from a monkeys freashly fucked asshole

  • I love how horrible our democracy is. In the long run, you need to be rich in order to win. I'm bringing this up because the witty reference may be my favorite line.

    "Marrying a beer heiress can even finance a presidential campaign!"

  • I love the McCain pic at :30.

  • Take it from McCain: dump your loser spouse and bag yourself a rich one!

    (yes, I know sarcasm doesn't translate well in print...)

  • omg McCain is a idiot....

  • pstt... The Onion videos are all fake..

  • NOOO Really when did you figure that out

  • When I read Our Dumb Century so many years ago.. YouTube doesn't show it, but I was replying to someone else.

  • The Republican party has announced before Sarah Palin does another Interview she will need more lipstick.

  • I like the part when they make fun of McCain.

  • The Onion is awesome how they make fun of everyone equally in an unbiased manner.

  • The Government has just announced they will start printing a $1000 dollar bill. ( Easier to withdraw your money without a wheelbarrel)

  • LoL, why print more money.

    Just make debit card......

  • What a cute video. This is for real:

    "What they'll say is, 'it'l cost too much money'...but, you know what? It would cost ab-, it would cost about the same as what we would spend, i-, over the course of 10 years...would cost what it's cost us...i-, it, ahuh... All right, okay. We're going to...it would cost us about the same it would cost...for about. Hold on one second, I can't hear myself, but I'm glad you're fired up, folks."

    McCain may be no great shakes, but God save us from Obie.

  • the "web exclusives" need to go, they distract from the earlier clips. Still love the vids though, keep them up!

  • that is awesome. good plan lol!

  • I love how they make fun of everyone and don't ever just slam one political party lol.

  • McCain's economic plans scare me.

  • the opening animation is epic

  • 22000 in just 2 days.....lol

  • "Lets spend 700 billion dollars of taxpayers money on wallstreet to save crumbling corporations, and claim that the government totally doesn't ally itself with major corporations and also claim that the government isn't ruled by those corporations themselves..."

    Geeze sometimes our government takes strange actions that frighten me. I don't want to be ruled by corporations!