Chuck Norris hears his own facts...

[antonisgs]

as predicted by the Maya, at 12/21/2012,

Chuck Norris will wake up in a very bad mood!

[Raidenace21]

Chuck Norris got mad once..then the dinosaurs went extinct..

[dylan110896]

once upon a time, a blind man was walking down the street and stepped on Chuck Norris's shoe, Chuck Norris replied "do you know who i am? I'm Chuck Norris!" the mere mention of Chuck Norris cured the mans blindness. but sadly the first and last thing the man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.

[Bigrobkerr]

Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, and Randy Couture all had dreams of being the best fighters in the World. The reality of Chuck Norris kept them dreaming.

[buddaman200522]

would of been better if he replaced I with chuck norris.

[ASoulSentToDye]

Chuck norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose!!!

[asleepMS2]

jesus can walk on water, but chuck norris can swim through land.

[DgosFinnest]

Chuck Norris farted while visiting Haiti. There was a massive earth quake that year that killed thousands.

[WootzGunzYG]

da 7 was the Best!

[mclovin62341]

When Chuck Norris plays ZOMBIES... he does'nt try to survive the zombies do! haha

[EPICdude484]

when bruce banner gets mad he turns into hulk.when hulk gets mad he turns into chuck norris

[Jimboticon]

Chuck Norris once set a new land speed record on a bicycle with no back tire and it was missing the chain.

[ilovebagpuss2008]

well funny

[AltairSWEDEN]

25 people are boogeymen



[TheCoolsacs]

he should have said those in first person .

[300daysandnights]

That guy sounds like Jimmy Kimmel.

[SAHaunted]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares the grass to grow.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books either, he stares at the pages until they tell him what he wants to know.

[ThirdEyeCrow]

Chuck Norris used to be an adventurer like you once.. and he was fine.

[LoveMyMedicine]

these are like the lamest chuck norris jokes ever...

[VengeanceDUDE]

its not funny when he says it

[ThirdEyeCrow]

@VengeanceDUDE I still thought it was funny. You had to grow up watching Chuck Norris to know why we respect the man. Hearing him read them is funny cuz it's like him receiving a timeless gift from his lifelong fans.

[bruce842659]

@ThirdEyeCrow brucelee / jackie chan/ jet lee/ are all equal to chuck as person/ actors/fighters if not better

[6586shadow]

chuck norris was playing dancedancerevolution hardcore mode and got a high score thus resulting in the 8.9 earthquake in japan

[WierdFred]

Chuck Norris isn't epic if he was he would be at my house slamming my face on my keyboard nnyh fvrgyhbhujhghjnumjnmmjhhgg hhf fhf f ff v

[zorua666]

Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity ........ chuck got it back

[f00tballfever]

@zorua666 loooooolllll

[janinaman]

IF A CAR CRASHES INTO CHUCK NORRIS IT WILL BOUNCE BACK OF HIM...

[janinaman]

Chuck norris ran around the earth 3 times with his legs chopped of

[JurassicPark1993Unix]

Chuck Norris once drowned fish on the bottom of the sea.

[NewGenerationTricks]

chuck norris doesn't misread any sentences on this sheet, he just makes it funnier and noone on earth can understand real humour cause chuck norris' humour can't be understood by man

[778cvd]

Once a blind floor to chuck norris, he told the blind man does not know who I am, I'm chuck norris mere mention of his name cured the blind but the first and last thing he saw was a kick from chuck norris

[778cvd]

chuck norris does not belive in god, god belive in chuck norris

[MrSuperinsanekilla]

chuck norris counted to infinitey twice

[foldppl]

Most of these jokes are miss worded.. but I don't want to argue with Chuck Norris, or he will come slam my head on the wtpiwebngpwnabl;kj mnrgonab

[tgchrisod]

and yet he still cant read !

[Telex1990]

I wonder how Chuck Norris feels as Chuck Norris.

[BandakaKush]

He totally fucked up number 8.

[TiagoPeixeiroPedro]

hehehe

[PizzaKey]

If god can walk on water chuck norris can swim on land

[ctjdje]

when chuck norris' daughter lost her virginity he found it and got it back

[thenumbaonerocka]

Keep pressing 5 and you'll hear the following:

I can't read it

Can I read it

A kind of burrita

I'm tired of breathin

A tambourine

Tom Rita

[Nightfury8703]

@thenumbaonerocka HOLY SHIT THAT WORKED LOL!

[darkmarkrocksursocks]

25 dislikes rest in peace chuck norris got them

[GanzZulu]

chuck norris went to mars once, and thats why there is no signof life there....

[Shadowninja109]

Chuck Norris covers his slip'n slide in gravel

[f16tuga]

In front of a mirror Chuck norris said bloody merry 1000 times and she dident have the ball to show up!!!!

[marcm696]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

[SingleClipEditor]

Chuck Norris Never flushes, he scares the shit out of the toilet.

[AssyrianSoldier1933]

you know how they make nuclear weapons?? Chuck Norries singed on normal missile

[abrysothe11]

if chuck norris is some type of god the hell come in through my door and bang my head against my keyhcvhasfhdhagfbgfjsadfdsaggj­gshjshjvnmsaghhjbyugh ghhygttygtyghtyghtyghthyghytgh­ygv hyg vyhg vyg This is Chuck Norris pretend this comment was never made and if you don't believe in the chuck norris well let me give you another example jlssgbhjsdbgjhfsdbdjskbfdbsjkg­jksnmsbkjgfgbjkbjsfjkagkhskgkj­sgbgkjbkjbsgljghjbgbhjdsjbhgdb­hgjhgbfsgjfggsgjhgbsdjgbjhsbhb­gbjdbghjgbhjbghjbgdhfbjkbgjhsd­bghjsfdgbjhbhjf

[jdslamm3]

Chuck Norris started a staring contest with his own reflection. 5 weeks later... he won o_O

[akaviri001]

Chuck Norris aint got nothin on Bruce Lee. Even in death Bruce would kick his ass

[yomom4202]

@akaviri001 thats the point....chuck was never a badass its all sarcasm

[231088Alex]

25 youtubers are dead now

[10hopalongcassidy10]

Chuck Norris is so tough the guys who shot the arrows took his roundhouse kicks to there knees

[XxunisavV]

chuck has gears 3 on his psp

[tmneeks]

When the boogeyman goes too sleep every night, he checks his closet for chuck norris...that's the best quote because CHUCK NORRIS said so..

[Mitouboxer117]

Omg, 2:20 at 2:25

[Mitouboxer117]

omfg... 25 disliked the video...

[RobertsDigital]

@theboyfromhell090 Chuch Norris is not greater than Jesus & God. He admited that himself. Even Bruce lee.

[DanielWilliamClark]

Did you know that it was Chuck Norris who taught Captain Falcon how to do the Falcon Punch?

[ItsJPeveryone]

The Number one was awful, even Chuck hesitated.

[gscam0001]

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a ninety year old man back into puberty

[BlackshotProduction]

if chuck norris was so great he should come and smash my face on the keyboard ngjlfbgmknklxhvbklxhnvklxncvkl­xcnhivhgjsfbmvnx,bkhihcz,.cnzd­klhfizhfklkIKhnujgvb rtgi nbugusgbujsrgzfgdfgdfgdfgsgdgh­ufjkSdsakuujtfgselmn

[XxunisavV]

@BlackshotProduction damn...how original

[Dutch02051990]

Chuck norris gave birth to his mother

[yeayimawsome]

chuck norris is so cool that this sentence sounded like a joke.

[The187proof]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. he decides what time it is

[MrRiley786]

if chuck norris is so cool then he will not let me write this sentance.

see told you hes a lo........

[deathcabtodoom]

If Chuck was so great he would come to my house and slam my face on my keyboard,

See? I'm perfectly finfgy8gtdfjghnsdtg gkthtfgy vtr y

[shadowandnight]

When Chuck Norris was born he was laughing and had a clenched fist, when the doctors opened the fist they found a Birth Control pill; NOTHING STOPS THE CHUCK !!!!

[chrishammerastro]

I BET CHUCK NORRIS CANT STOP ME FROM FINISHING THIS SEN

[Cod4soilder2]

Chuck Norris once counted to infinity, twice.

[MrSmirge]

If you have 5 dollars - and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars - he has more money than you...

[KeepersoftheDusk]

@MrSmirge if Chuck Norris has $1 and you have $300 he has more money then you

[ThirdEyeCrow]

@MrSmirge That's really funny

[MrSmirge]

@ThirdEyeCrow heh - thanks :D

[kawless]

I like number 3, the boogyman one

[kios05]

it just never stops xD

[franzeco333]

Chuck...Norris...LAUGHING?

the peace comed to the universe

[linux750]

chuck was right, the guys who wrote those FACTS (im not gonna include quotation marks because Chuck Norris is so Chuck Norris there is no room for speculation on how awesome Chuck Norris is) should be screenplay writers.

[Dom213]

@theboyfromhell090 Jusus? How did that typo even occur?

[vidman163]

chuck norris dosn't deflect bullets, bullets are just afraid of him

[vidman163]

you just brought a gun to a chuck norris fight

[AntiVaccine2]

@vidman163 see my vids&learn herbs as reishi,rosemary,kelp,kale,pine­,maca etC

[MrMikedejeuner]

@Cetnik1985 moses split the water, not walkin on it.

[XxunisavV]

@Cetnik1985 moses parted the red sea asshole,definately jesus

[ArtKiiler404]

I bet his like ' yh thats true im not jokn'

[blackice705]

ALL TRUE

[ibyOFshieldz]

During sex, chuck norris is on top, because he never fucks up!

[817cookiemonster]

When Zombies come. They run away from Chuck Norris.

[CraedenDobb]

@817cookiemonster that was terrible

[01984lockyer]

He's such a douche...If he was so awesome he would beat me with my own keyboayubhjiuio 35q113 13512p0#'[pxbn'.fh' \est6j; 46w0 ;msdg j

[QuayNemSorr]

Chuck Norris can devide by 0, and has counted to infinite...twice

[CptCoolXD]

i like how he freaks out about the proposition of tax fraud.

[thinsaltines]

TOO BAD HE CAN'T READ

[Falconferare]

@thinsaltines The paper tells him everything he needs to know out of fear.

[SilentWalk18]

This cant be chuck norris, 240p can't handle the chuck :/

[rapstyle11]

Chuck Norris beat Mario..without jumping

[sultaa86]

chuck norris once walked in to burger king and ordered a big mac....and he got it

[homeworld523]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

[dragonking5396]

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic!

[IkoLx123]

The more letters of Chuck Norris's name that you have in your own name-the more Chuck Norris you are.

Chuck Norris is defined as *place infinity letter word which is a synonym to awesome & epic*.

Chuck Norris doesn't jump, the world bounces off Chuck Norris at his free will.

The bible says God made man in his own image-so who made Chuck Norris?

Infinity=Chuck Norris for relative reasons but really Chuck Norris>Infinity.

[wapperott]

@IkoLx123 hmm th more letters in your name the more chuck norris u are hmm i have a "C" "O" and "R" in my name AWSEOME

[Ciaron2000]

@wapperott i have "C" "O" "R" "H" "K" "I" "N" HOLY S*** explains why imreally good at fighting

[IkoLx123]

The number of views shown on all Chuck Norris videos are not the total amount of people who viewed them but the minimum amount of people viewing them every second.

Chuck Norris watched 2 girls 1 cup, laughed and both girls started vomiting.

To make a video game about Chuck Norris would mean that you would need to have some sort of challenge. For Chuck Norris-there is no challenge.

The only OS made by Microsoft that is 100% virus proof-Windows Chuck Norris.

[KiLLz0rz83]

@monkey1534 Your very right about that.

[tuzolto816]

He is behind you !

[tuzolto816]

Chuck Norris has a PlayStation 4

[iluvducks1234]

there are not facts they are jokes

[jayrave4]

Fuck Chuck Norris, the pussy has ruined Expendables 2

[deejaymilan]

How many push-ups Chuck Norris can do?? - All of them...

-When Chuck Norris jumps in water, he doesn't get wet, but water gets >chucknorrized<...

[Crazy66601]

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey he chews bees.

[DrSheldonCooper100]

Chuck Norris died yesterday, but he's fine today

[DUBaholic406]

haha just when i thought i have heard every chuck norris joke

[ShadowclawVaporFang]

When people say Im going to release a world of pain, Chuck Norris pops up

[ToolSVL]

Chuck Norris ain´t hung like an horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

[AlanXRitzka]

chuck norris is dead but death is to sceard to tell him

[psywarrior8401]

When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake he doesn't get wet, the lake gets Chuck Norris'ed...

[ZzyzxLuke]

No but seriously i am fed up of these jokes.

[7blueblood]

chuck norris can listen to a youtube comment

[tdevildog03]

the cancer one was fucked up

[yxoxuxxtxuxbxe]

chuck norris is like a star

when you see him you actually just see a mere image of him from the past

meh i suck at these -.-

[XxunisavV]

@yxoxuxxtxuxbxe

that fact applies to everything dumbass

[yxoxuxxtxuxbxe]

@XxunisavV not like a star you moronic fat nerd

the stars image can be hundreds of years old

[XxunisavV]

@yxoxuxxtxuxbxe

like i said,everything you see is in the past,yur too stupid too understand that the difference with stars is the distance,light always travels at the same speed.so either chuck norris is a black hole and can slow down light,or hes floating somewhere in space outside our solar system,either way makes no fucking sense.theres nothing moronic about being correct.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: RETARDATION

[yxoxuxxtxuxbxe]

@XxunisavV

lol learn to read idiot i said "like a star" which indicates norris lived hundreds of years ago but we can only see him now.....

i did not say everything ells was not in the past... guess i should have explained every little detail for those with an IQ at your level

[XxunisavV]

@yxoxuxxtxuxbxe

lol yu obviously have no grasp on what i said,or how the theory yur trying to use works,im done with you.

[scottishwun]

there was no such thing as the hiroshima bomb it was a tape of chuck norris that made the japps surrender.

[Failure1998]

Chuck Norris can play exclusive Ps3 games on an Xbox

[rommydommy17]

GET OFF CHUCKZ NUTSACK!!!!!!!!!

[vonsmith]

Chuck Norris is so hard, it took 5 women 3 years to give birth to him...

[MrNofreedom]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is!

[Jhugs28]

ylvis5eo[,p.';';.pho9pf';79f;p­68ds5';7'd6p8so;'f7t''g'f't8'8­t'og'78f'f7df9''f79p

'9't8g'fu/o

[Pokemanic4321]

@Jhugs28 What the fuck?

[supersonicZ16]

Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman's life.

[SonicYouth5469]

The one thing Chuck Norris apparently can't do is fucking read

[Tjpeter7]

I wonder from were all these legends about how "tough" that chuck norris is... well, anyways I think he is starting to believe them, it's time for someone to remember him that we're just making fun of him, that's it, so, I challenge you Ms. sorry mr. Norris! you say the date and time and I'll be there, for a TACO EATING COMPETITION!!! you think you're tough? prove it bitch!

[JaLomangino]

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

[mitie23]

Jimmy Wales looks into your soul n chuck norris looks into his :D yes he "memes" the meme :D

[az5815]

I thought Chuck Norris was fake then I took an arrow to the knee

[itsonlykano87]

@az5815 I used to make Arrow to the Knee jokes, then Chuck Norris ripped my knee out.

[tolifull]

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey!!!!!!!! He eats bee'z

[juggalokade123]

when you masterbate chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face

[Greyfox641]

i can't wait to see peoples reaction and there beliefs crushed when he dies XD

[1madinjun]

@Greyfox641 Chuck Norris doesn't die because the Grim Reaper is too scared to take him .

[Greyfox641]

@1madinjun uh huh >.>......

[nemanjatosovic]

Chuck Norris never gets laid, rather laid gets Chuck

[nemanjatosovic]

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

[KurdischerBozz23]

Jesus walks on water but Chuck Norris walk on Jesus

[ooRELIKoo]

@Elsuperdady rofl!

[GrizzlyDillon1]

19 people just got roundhoused

[naitsirhc3002012]

@GrizzlyDillon1 dude thumbs up, made my day

[rjniscool]

I bet one of those guys that wrote one of those jokes feels pretty badass right now.

[TheMaster4710]

these keyboard jokes suck.. Who is the one who came up with it?