President Faces Down Monster In Action-Packed Schedule

[TheYouwontgetit]

they just plan everything the president does...

[paul1mdrn]

Wtf hahaha!

[zzyzx0788]

Indepence Day?

[kennymcormick100]

transformers?



[Reborn8303]

and Will Smith will play the President

[spacestick1]

this is the basic plot of EVERY monster movie ever made.lol

[hldx9]

I haven't seen Cloverfield yet, but this vaguely sounds like the plot of Independence Day :)

[mahatmacote]

This was made by grown men.

I despair

[325982668]

if you replace marines with seals, and Manhattan with Abottabad it's like he's describing the Bin Laden assassination.

[alphamax03]

"It's not working! Bin Laden is growing stronger by the minute!"

[caporock]

Apparently the President stole my script for my next big monster film: "Attack of the Giant Mutant Monster Thing"

[Stylemaster911]

Crysis 2? xD

[MrSpiderman14]

Cloverfield, i just finished watching that movie and i now know where they got their motivation from

[vjm3]

WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS

I NEED MORE NAKED CHICKS!!

[FranklinFalcons999]

The Event It's eggzacly like the event on NBC Awesome show

[fazbad1988]

more like godzilla. manhattan, guns not working. getting stronger. all the phrase got in godzilla movie.

[Jackpot1990]

independence day!!!!!

[Canadium]

Independence Day.

[MistaMajikalMoshos]

"Better production values and shittier writing". I just love how well this applies to the likes of Transformers...

[TwistedStarPro]

Ah, the Cloverfield tactic. Excellent choice, sir.

[Trevor10]

soo is this a plot of a movie?

[0zeroburn]

Amazing how they got this scheduled around the clouds appearing to cast shadows on the president's face...

[THEFLAGOFNOTHING1]

This sounds just like Independence Day and Armageddon combined I live the part where he says that this schedule will happen again only with even more horrible writing

[THEFLAGOFNOTHING1]

This sounds just like Independence Day and Armageddon combined

[Shargrailar]

Godzilla!

[gamehero77]

Independence Day?

[XgokkunX]

@gamehero77 independence day and every other movie like it. 2012, impact, etc

[ccricers]

@XgokkunX The president must also mention that he will die sometime during the disaster :o

[BESTINTACOMA]

ahahahahahaahah

[Manofaction0]

LMAO CLOVERFIELD

[aaronbrent84]

haha independence day

[newcoyote]

This is fake. Right?

[t34fung1aturpart33]

@newcoyote hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahah



[newcoyote]

@t34fung1aturpart33 Why are you laughing? This is serious.

[NoisemakerArrow]

@newcoyote No.

[newcoyote]

@NoisemakerArrow No? I KNEW IT! FUCK!

[metubegirl69er]

@newcoyote

what u did not hear ,, its a monster

[shinaley]

Asian sugar babies # lushfmlk.info#

[YusufAlaseeri]

Better production and shittier writing...

Could that be any more true?

[titans091052]

@YusufAlaseeri No it could not.

[DerOrk]

Cloverfield!

[MajesticFerret]

I still love Independence Day.

[seanfleming1]

god damn just like every fucking disaster movie spot fucking on

[poodledreams]

"With better production values and shittier writing."

[photopawn37]

Godzilla and Independence day

[Inediblehulk]

And here I thought riveting, edge of my seat thrill rides just naturally unfolded. This bit of disillusionment isn't going to get in the way of collecting all eight Obama glasses at Burger King, though!

[LeftoverJedi]

huh guess he saw Independence Day too lol

[neoparshath]

Micheal Bay stole this plot for Transformers.

[ArantirSH]

Obana woulda gone" pushes away from table*..*sigh* "send in the A-team

[claytongault]

lol obama woulda gone *pushes away from table*..*sigh* "send in the panthers"

[Captainflowers1011]

So past presidents could defeat a giant monster in Manhattan, but Obama can't deal with an oil spill?

[HaxxorsProduction]

@Captainflowers1011 it's an oil monster? lol

[photon72]

Michael Bay will surely make a movie about this.

[rockerhead247]

Isn't this the plot of Independence Day?

[SubtleDemise]

@rockerhead247 Sounds more like the Godzilla remake to me lol.

[Theparableof0]

Man, I think we just watched the plot to no less then 20 films dated from 1993-2003. As I was watching this I immediately thought of Monsters vs Aliens... The President acted similiarly only instead of "Send in the marines." It was "Commander, do something violent."

:D

[banangem]

@Theparableof0 that's the best monster movie in a long time

[Silvia1826]

Is the monster a bat trapped in the congress room?

[LAMFi1ms]

Ha, that was great

[dm121984]

Well, good to know their keeping the president busy. Out of interest, what sort of crime again man and nature will be attacking?

[Oli3TB76]

'better production values and shittier wirting' Aint that the truth!

[KingOfRedLions]

This does seem like something bush would do.

[Manofaction0]

1:50 = that's what she said.

[RuggedBaphomet]

Hilarious

[ccricers]

The president didn't die...it must not be a Roland Emmerich-caliber disaster.

[LittleElfProductions]

Rofl!!! that was so awesome! lol

[SivartAlappes]

LOL  that was pretty amazing. lol

[bretp99]

Oh my God! How was Ted Barrett able to predict this in such astonishing detail? I saw this on C -Span and warned my family, except my mother in law, so they all safely evacuated to Queens before the monster attack. I miss my mother-in-law, but shit happens.

[legomanusa]

is this really the shit congress does with their spare time....? Cuz that would be AWESOME

[jamiea666]

it woz good

[Celinancc1701]

You're a retard. This is the president's press secretary. Congress is a whole other branch of the government..

[AKOK11]

Somebody should assemble shots from the movies being referenced and put together a slide show to go along with this audio. Maybe even have multiple screenshots for each statement, just to see how many movies follow the same exact cliches!

[Manofaction0]

@AKOK11 Lol, that one Godzilla movie way back that took place in manhattan.

[VRstudykid]

haha.. thats independance day!!! my favorite all time!!!!.. well besides jurassic park... but SWEET!!

[hellraizr666]

lol bush woulda gone *pushes away from table*..*sigh* "send in the jedis"

[killuminati91112]

@hellraizr666 where are the jedis

[exprodigal83]

Reminds me of a movie I seen before....lol. LMAO.

[3martijns]

Funniest thing is that this vid was posted last year, when Bush would have defended the country much better than it is being defended now! hahaha

[glamourweaver]

You mean by claiming some unrelated country was connected to the monster & starting a war there & allowing the monster to run unchecked while accusing all those who question the strategy of being against the troops?

[tanfoculta]

They should write a screenplay after this.

[ZirconCode]

transformers =D

[walt776]

Agreed.

[waalkwriter]

Its basically Independence Day, lol.

[joshmosh79]

poor marines. i dont think they realise one of their duties is being cannon fodder

[Snakebite105]

This actually sounds most closly to Independence day then anything else. every single quality i noticed was in both.

[mrchuckmorris]

Your typical Michael Bay movie right there.

[DNAz5646]

lmao its a combo of all the Hollywood movies like this that shows how generic they all are

[taxisgay12]

sad thing is,90% of comedy is truth.

which monster will they send in next?

[3martijns]

Oh Yeah - we can really trust our prez to defend us. He bows to dictators, and cuts defense, even after offense by our enemies!!!

[xiphas7]

And to think that you voted for him:)

[franklinms22]

next summer with better production value and shittier writing.

[33dgtp]

This is Cloverfield.... 100% ..even the love story :))

[lets00go]

Send in the Marines...go figure

[megrud]

ey they send in the MARINES xause they are the toughest branch THE FEW THE PROUD

[TheSilentExtreme]

CLoverfeild ? lol

[NthDegreeStudios]

better production values and shittier writing. hahahaha

[Kosha2905]

oh no it's coming for us.

[AvsJoe]

WTF was the president doing between 11:15 am and 1:15 pm? Just sitting there with a thumb up his ass reading a Grisham novel? F*cking Democrats!

[mnfchen]

This = Transformers.

[StarFury777]

Seems more like Independence Day to me.

[BushidoBrownSama]

That's what I was thinking but really it has elements common to a bunch of similar near apocalyptic movies

[maddyisahomo]

Haha, this is great. Hollywood is so predictable.

[KardKaper]

Wow.... This guy tells the future? Awesome.

[ShazadKashmir]

Independence Day lol

[SLITTHROAT13]

dude wtf! its obviously more like godzilla or king kon

[YouDidntdoAnything]

its all those types of movies

[seoulc]

Is it just me or is he describing Independence Day? Except without the ethnically diverse staff that is.

[BenPerlis]

I am feeling an independance day and cloverfield vibe.

[alex49carson]

i like the sequel at the end

[allwoodtv]

so, whats new? It's allways scripted.

[TaffyAlpha]

"she will realize that she never stopped loving him"

oh god, I always see scenes like that in every disaster movie.

[HalomasterObi1177]

I wonder what this is from... :)

[lllHanzolll]

reminds me of the president in Scary Movie 4

[helljumpr5150]

How many Cloverfields/Godzillas/Indepen­dence days will it take?

[TheSeltsamOne]

I was expecting the line "and then the president will lead a fighter jet attack on the monster but run out of missiles as a black man flies into the moster's mouth"

[TheSeltsamOne]

Wait, sorry, it would have been "as an alcholic veteran flies into the monster's mouth" forgot my Independence Day plot.

[airsoftM83]

funny as hell too bad the president is too weak to do this in real life

[Biffcutwtright]

manage a plan to fight off an action movie monster?

[Camsco1]

reminds me of cloverfield... actually thats pretty much EXACTLY cloverfields storyline.

[whoisstarkz]

he talkin bout the movie independence day

[Randommelon]

I have this strange feeling that I've seen something like this before...

[SwordSaint892]

This one is great.

[42317]

Not bad... Generic patriotic action movie in a nutshell. :-)

[utubesuckstube]

LOL this is fuckin great! Like every movie made for the last 10 summers

[coltsfan1814]

lol "2 summers later the president will repeat this schedule with better production values and shittier writing"

[MrWolf316]

That was the funniest line in the video.

[Shadowflare00]

Sounds like a Michael Bay movie.

[eljitto]

Snap-Diddly-App

u owned him

[benjoblo]

I think that by making this, theonion has inadvertently created a bit of a conundrum for Hollywood. Where are they going to get the template for all movies of this genre now? Original thinking ?!?!

But did they forget the uninhibited cries of relief and victory leading to people of all colours and creeds embracing over the defeat of this common enemy encouraging the audience to ponder how "perhaps we aren't that different after all, maybe there is hope for us yet".

[ipekatomang]

but this is real........... no such thing as ethic union...

[excandersham]

every b monster disaster movie made

[ProJanitor]

LmFaO

[canyonerodriver]

ethnically diverse staff.lmao

[Miika153]

Amazing! Someone should make a parody movie using this script.

[seizethemoose]

This sounded like independence day and cloverfield.

[MikeofWyoming]

No, the truth is his closest advisor would be Timothy Geithner, who tells him to print 2 trillion dollars and give it to the monster. The plan will fail and America will be using the barter system for the next 120 years of Mexican rule.

[charleshoskinson]

NICE!!!

[DuckVader64]

Yes yes very detailed

[noctus]

Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay would be proud.

[shitbrick777]

And then 20 years later, the current president will redo the same schedule, with the newest state of the art technology, and eh, even shittier writing.

[PinkPenguin55]

lmao!

[jthm39]

and eh, shittier writing

[societyexile]

HAHAHAHA

this is awesome.

that's why i voted for obama, for change like this ;)

[totally0random]

I think this is wat was meant to happen in Cloverfield, but cos the story was summerised into 2 mins, they couldnt get funding to complete the movie. they wer so cheap they used a friggin handheld video camera. lulz.

[EntertainmentIsGood]

yep that is pretty much the plot for your standard monster movie XD

[omglawllawl]

HAHAHA XDD

[jim56o45]

Independence Day.

[cryptidballer]

LOL!!!

[NTUguy]

hahaha

seems like hollywoods film

[Soiledmyself]

Transformers! I was thinking of transformers, but instead of the wife realizing she loved the scientist all along, it's the high school hot girl crush falling in love with the smart sensitive kid.

[forrestlyone]

LMAO!! The President non-the-less..will be Morgan Freeman.

[stevehjoseph]

lol, fantastic

[Ven0m1985]

ROFL

[timquanny]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

[R4zi3]

LOL!

[lonelywolfSD]

the radio with then went dead XD

[Schmidt54]

awesome

[VaughnCampbell]

i get it! ahahahaha

[XMaster4000]

Better production values and shittier writing

[Shalek]

Hahahaha hilarious.

[protial]

xD awesome

[vgfmak]

I love you

[GScott86]

LoL, just like every crappy summer/winter monster movie.

[Elven180]

yah independence day.

[IrishHaloNerd]

cough, independence day cough.

[Psykomancer]

...and they lived happilly ever after, until 6 years later they were brutally raped and murdered by a 12 year old korean kid.

[darkembassymusic]

LOL!!!

[bobby56781]

oh, well done. are you going to the funeral?

[southparkgtaca]

Woodland Critter Christmas?

[numba1drycellfan]

woodland critter christmas was funny.... this isnt

[semigotbanned]

weak

[KyleReese2029]

This is like 80 percent "Independence Day"... the rest is all other movies from this genre! :D Hilarious!!!

[Soiledmyself]

Also like Godzilla, and I know there's another one.

[Chet2013]

I for one, welcome our reptilian overlords.