Dogma part 2 of 13

[udqbpn]

Hi.

[udqbpn]

I Am God.

[udqbpn]

Azrael isn't very nice.

[udqbpn]

it's a no laughing contest. Loki is losing as usual.

[udqbpn]

i am faith.

[adventuresofagirl]

Wait, how does the Norse jötunn/god Loki come into play? With Catholicism? Makes no sense, but I'll go along, I suppose.

[Andohish]

If he's an angel, why is he wearing black??

[rndmpngn1996]

@Andohish god finds him exceptionally hot in black:)

[rndmpngn1996]

@Andohish god finds him exceptionally hot in black:)

[Andohish]

@rndmpngn1996 Alan's Rickman's sexyass.

[rndmpngn1996]

@Andohish heal yeas

[madmartigan4077]

@rndmpngn1996 I don't know , seems to me, his pants are black, but his jacket is dark brown with a dark green shirt....

[caddyrolla123]

im pissed off is what i am!

lol

[ninjaheart92]

"Stained fucking clothes" XD I love how he said that.

[justjalen]

OMR. Severus!

[salazar150]

so, to prove that an angle is an angle........ i should ask if he wants a shot?

[TsukiakariMegami]

So....Alan Rickman speaks for God...ok I'm going back to Christianity now!

[ohweloveeverton]

upside down crosses illuminated pyramids and gold snakes???

[jamesholmes48]

5:55 SEE?

[warpedwiselegoman]

0:20

...goatee man with headphones...PHELOUS,IS THAT YOU?!

[machinimikmak]

tell em steve dave! 1:07

[Sballgirl4ever]

what r u?

i'm pissed off is what i am!!!!!!!

haha lol best damn part

[HalfBloodPrincess17Y]

I live Alan he would have played an awesome god with his smooth sexy silky voice damn!!!!!

[quesondriac]

Linda is hot. But so is Janeane.

[BigOldMrKnish]

@quesondriac my sentiments exactly. i'd like to give jeneane garofalo a good rogering.

[SirRobin126]

Lets face it, if god was real, and he did have a voice...it would be Alan Rickman's.

[firefly197104]

@SirRobin126 Or Morgan Freeman ;)

[HotWallaby]

Omg im laughing so freaking hard!!! I love you Alannnnnn!!!

[hofffan333]

hang on a minute. in her room, she was in knickers and a shirt. the shirts not changed in the restaurant, so that should mean that she's sat there in her knickers?! surely someone would notice that?

[GonfioMarcio]

culetto di linda al minuto 4:50 la scena più bella del film

[rawrthedinosaur1]

Oh Alan ... colour me converted.

[mrIlovethe90s1]

Linda Fiorentino is amazingly hot... And I love Professor Snape

[mrIlovethe90s1]

That ginger is scary

[RUSures1109]

Wait, Allan Rickman looks like a Ken doll........i would like to have that barbie doll.

[immortalfrom90]

Oh Aaalan

[jeneZelda]

oh alan u sexy angel!!!! dear god :D ill promise ill be a good girl if u send me Metatron to my room!!!!!

[GwendolynRaine]

I don't get the thing with Central Air?

[UrMomsCottageCheese]

I love how the angel enters the room nd she sprays him with the fire extinguisher nd he's like no wonder ur single

[GrecoWrestlerNJ70]

1:10 is a reference to how gullible religious people are

[hofffan333]

snape just lost the last of his fright factor :L just think back to metatrons crotch XD

[giantstingray]

It's funny. I didn't know what the metatron was until I saw this movie, therefor making it a metajoke. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!

[raveklaw]

The 3 dislikes seen here, are the handiwork of Nazi Christians who hope and pray all involved in the making of this film go to Hell.Personally, lets send the dislikers to Miwaukee Wisconsin Mitchell Field airport, make them sell Cheesehead hatwear. Whose with me ???(ps: Im FROM Kenosha, WI lol)

[LSWAnimator]

If angles can't fuck... how the fuck did Nephilims exist?

[vdwest4592]

@LSWAnimator It seems the creators of this film didn't do enough research.

[EyesOfaDoll]

Ken Doll Crotch Snape! :D

[VickiSnickers]

Oh Alan Rickman. You so funny.

[MrBenx125]

holy shit it's the pope

[gamerguy581]

that snapes lost his snake

[costasawlove]

IM PISSED OFF IS WHAT I AM

[deboraition]

Oh my god i cracked up watching this part, Alan rickman is so funny when he insults people, he does it so good!

[unwell333]

I love how Alan Rickmans character is just constantly cutting down the intelligence of humanity.

[AbsoluteAppealTampa]

Thanks for the upload, this is one of my favorite movies ever!!

[aloneinthedark9000]

Yes rape us all. I want u Alan.

[Brentsfriend]

@aloneinthedark9000 No ME FIRST!!!!

[sevAlways]

plis alan rape me!!! plis!!

[GeraldRisch]

whooo--

no pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater than central air!

[RonnieKane]

Those horns are just adorable!

[harhainen]

it hans gruber.. scary

[munkogasuski]

jason lee would make the perfect devil...as he is the biggest cunt of the 20th century ..

[coolprankgurl]

People, please. It isn't rape if your willing. And yes, I am VERY willing.

[Alismyanodyne]

She DOESN'T want him to rape her? Jesus woman what's wrong with you?

[hofffan333]

@Alismyanodyne lol, I thought the same XD

[CheeseTrix13337]

"hit me with that fish?" wins all the awards

[jaz199528]

I love the way he says ''Fuck''!!XD <3

[seastar567]

@jaz199528 no i think he says "Fffffffuck" just as he did say "Fffffffish" :p

[jaz199528]

@seastar567 lol ok :P

[singingangel93]

So, every time God speaks to me...it's not God...but rather, Alan Rickman? I can definitely live with this.

[evilboy1077]

holy shit it's Snape!

[stsars13]

Angle!Rickman....yes there is a God.

[Zoras88]

I KNEW EARL WAS EVIL!

[MrsD3713]

SNAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[zornfilm]

3:02 michael jackson is in this movie?

[grobiegirl12]

BAAHAHAH "we went through 5 adams before we figured that one out" :D gotta love alan rickman.

btw, i'm a very firm roman catholic and i think this is hilarious! a little sacrilegious but quite funny. i think the main reason i (and other stong catholics) am okay with this movie is because it is a comedy. movies like "stigmata" are supposed to be somewhat serious, and therefore less accepted.

[bexislols]

who is the devil dude at 3:20, i reconnise him but i cant work out the dam acters name

[Barbosss322]

@bexislols Name of the actor is Jason Lee

[TotallyTscopeTV]

If the Metatron looks like THAT, I want to be charged with a Holy Crusade please. :)

[TulipFarella]

Chris Rock is Eddie Murphy's lovechild.

Alan Rickman is Frankie Howard's lovechild.

Tell me there not related.

Btw the jews didn't kill Jesus, it was the Romans, hence crucifixtion. Under jewish law, he's have been stoned to death.

Check your facts ,please kiddos.

[grimhero]

@TulipFarella yeah your right the romans did kill Christ but the jews pushed for it to happen. But really who gives a shit, its done get over it, just be good people.

[skumrock]

EWWWW what the hell is THAT???!!! ohhh its Janine Garafalo

[conkerman17]

you should upload mallrats noone else has it



[GeraldRisch]

Love the lines:

--Sigh--

No pleasure;

No rapture;

No exquisite sin greater than central air!



[worldofwarcraftman2]

I wonder why so many people are mad at this movie i'm Christian and I love this movie

[WilsonT011]

Love how Azrael's just like "yeah bitch, you die" at 3:20

[JackBlackNinja]

SNAPE!!!

[Lusa5]

If I were her, I'd say "Take whatever you want, just please don't kill, but you can rape me. :D

[GlassCtiy]

i love how he calls them bottom feeders.

[lovelyigorilla]

what the fuck is he doing outside of hogwarts??

[Kingdomhearts120]

Dickless Alan Rickman XD

[SmilingAgony]

"What are you?"

"I'm PISSED OFF! That's what I am!"

lol i'm in love with Alan Rickman...

[quminottie]

1:07 Tell'em Steve-Dave!!!

[PS2reuler]

your gonna burn in hel u f@cking baby killer yeah thats real catholik

[AchelSimson1995]

Omg Grigori

I get why that is Daniel's surname in Fallen book now!

[loner1878]

"Holy shit, it's the Pope"

"Huh? Hey!"

ROFLMAO XD

[FrankHeadable]

@dkerris, Men can follow directions if they so choose, however that remains entirely up to them.

[shatdafactup]

holy shit, its the pope!

[Alejandro1313sixx]

God doesnt like this! lol 

[0uterHeaven0]

I didnt know Trent reznor was in Dogma :O

[MrJhepna]

at 0:13 it sounds so much like he just said fucked lol

[FrankHeadable]

That is correct the Bible was written by men, But they were led by the Holy Spirit all they had to do is write it down.

[dkerris]

@FrankHeadable In other words, all they had to do is follow directions?

These are men you're talking about. They can't follow directions to save their lives.

[karn33333]

@FrankHeadable yeah cause no one who says "god told me" could possibly be lying.

[FrankHeadable]

@karn33333 anytime the holy spirit takes resident in someone, every boby will know and there will be no denying that. It may be human nature to lie; but when it is to something of great magnitude people will always disprove it. How many times has God's word been debunked? The answer is none, because everything is true.

[karn33333]

@FrankHeadable gods "word" has been debunked countless times. almost nothing in the bible is true. two different creation stories in genesis. day and night separated before the sun was even created, Joseph had two biological fathers, the list goes on man. its a shitty story with so many plot wholes its a joke. god is love but will torture you for all eternity if you don't return his love or believe in him but its ok cause you had "free will" not to believe in him......that ones my favorite.

[FrankHeadable]

@karn33333 give me the proof you have and I will address it or find someone who can, It seems that you may be a little confused. God is love and he does not throw people in hell because you don't love him back; God only gives you over to your desires. If you desire to be in God presence and it's in your heart that's what he gives you. If you choose to be of this world and it's in your heart then that's what he gives you over to.God talks to us all, only not all of us listens.

[BigDandfriends]

@FrankHeadable so its like ask and you shall recive. if you ask for him then you will get him, but if you ask to be left alone then you are alone with satan because satan is all around but when you have god he is powerless. and without god you are powerless. i just had an apifany

[FrankHeadable]

@BigDandfriends God is with us all the time, however it is up to us to accept him in our life. To have God does mean that we have victory over satan in our lives, But if we don't have God we can get victory if let him in our life. Although someone does not want God near he will never leave you alone completely he will just wait until you are ready to accept him. Now if you don't make that choice before it comes back, that's a whole different story.

[Vikaniss]

@FrankHeadable Woa there, put a hold on the preaching and just enjoy the movie, sarcastic Christian humor and all.

[LandoSChainsaw]

@FrankHeadable don't get the wrong Idea about my reply I'm not one of those atheistic nitpickers like that karn guy I'm just .......I'm like Kevin Smith a firm and true believer but a catholic with questions, and I love to discuss those questions

[MadmanJoE100]

"What are you" ? "Im pissed off is what i am"! Great line :P

[WilsonT011]

0:18 he talkin' about god there the old man was knockout in the be beginning.

[FrankHeadable]

Let it be known that God made man in his image, you can find this in the first book in the bible

[marazzo15]

@FrankHeadable and the bible was written by man so... 

[gortmundy01]

This film is just brilliant in so many ways.

[soulreapershun]

@gortmundy01 yes it is

[liberaldem11]

... does anyone else notice that the priest says "all rise for the REcession of faith" instead of the PROcession of faith lol

[TotallyTscopeTV]

Happy Birthday to Alan Rickman! ^w^

[MR257k]

3:00 hey look its Earl

[KrustynailsVideo]

@MR257k it is, his name is Jason Lee.

[MR257k]

@KrustynailsVideo i know

[BigOldMrKnish]

the dialogue is awesome.

[GODMelaes]

Jason Lee is an asshole.

[Maniyasoul]

I see Fanboy's sign says "I would have taken that sperm!" but I can't make out Steve-Dave's. Anybody know?

[potionsmistressful]

-I think God is dead.

-A sign of a true catholic

[lizlexy]

"you people if there's isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing is it" .....Priceless, just too funny!

[TotallyTscopeTV]

Can't. Stop. Staring at Alan Rickman's crotch! :D

[Hayles2468]

im fucking in love with this movie<3

[lionboyhottie]

Too bad jesus & god dont fucking exist

[puplover99]

@lionboyhottie yes he fucking does athiest >=(

[EpikEvaN]

4:56

[xxdonguth3xx]

snape is still an asshole

[Jixieboo300]

OMG IT'S SNAPE!

[drummerchick24]

I just gotta say, I wonder how interesting it would be to be the person that got to mold the shape of Alan Rickmans crotch.

[JalalSela]

People of Earth... go to 4:56 and pray to the holy goat... I mean ghost.

[MultiLapislazuli]

LOL "We went through five adams before we could figure that one out." hahaha nice!

[Twihard12LostForever]

That horns guy can't act for shit.

[tommyt1971]

"We went thru 5 Adams before we figured that one out..."

[naospartan]

It's sepharus snape

(I'm not sure I spelled that right, it's most likely incorrect)

[CarlaFox1997]

holy shit it's the pope! i think god is dead. the sign of a true catholic!

[CarlaFox1997]

holy shit it's the pope!

[Ansem117]

hit me with a ffffffish? love it

[SamauraiRippeR]

That's the woman from Men In Black, the Coroner!

[quixoticxxzephyr]

A tequila with Alan? Yes, please! =D

[sdroska]

I didn't see that. take the sand out of your vagina buddy

[lizerd3438]

lol perfict voice for god lol.... and we all ready knew alan rickman was an angel ;)

[pensman101]

@lizerd3438 alan rickman isn't god, he's just the voice (i know that's what you said)

[lizerd3438]

lol perfict voice for god lol

[ChainsmokingPothead]

lol someone said "I'm sure God laughed his white-robed ass off at this movie."

like god doesn't have anything better to do than to watch movies lol. sometimes comments can be hilarious lol

[romas1995]

best kevin smith movies

1 ) Dogma

2 ) Clerks

3 ) Chasing Amy

4 ) Clerks 2

5) Mallrats

[lidlehotti3]

holy shit it's the pope

[BrianFoxVideo]

"You're gonna burn in Hell, ya fuckin' baby killer!"

"Tell her, Steve Dave!"

[iTrollAwlOverYew]

@BrianFoxVideo, thanks for pointing that out...

...I never would have caught onto that. lol

[drummerchick24]

It's almost ironic because to me, Alan Rickman pretty much is the voice of God.

[xxDEATHZILLAxx]

5:29 its professor snape lmao!

[leiefilm]

that priest look like the dude from summer school and ski school

[SirenaDeMuerta]

3:48 Pick THAT up! Perfect.

[kirikakirikakirika]

That fish could've done some damage.

[ShadesOfKnight]

A long way from Azrael to Earl... LOL

[GlassCtiy]

he makes it sound so epic

[babeeshopiez123]

giggidy



[CalmChaosProductions]

Alan Rickman is a sarcastic Bad Ass in every movie hes in

gotta love him

Snape was a masrer of the dark arts and kicked ass

Hes the voice of God

Jesus is there anything this man CANT do

[BrianFoxVideo]

@CalmChaosProductions "Jesus, is there anything this man CAN'T do?"

Yes. Kill John McClane.

[sdroska]

@CalmChaosProductions He can't kill Bruce Willis

[BrianFoxVideo]

@sdroska ..."Yes, THANK YOU, Steve, I just FUCKING said that."

[iTrollAwlOverYew]

@BrianFoxVideo, did you catch the same guys, the "Steve-Dave" duo, on Mallrats?LOL

I can't get enough of them.

[heroesyouhateukjoe]

@CalmChaosProductions you only named 2 but thinking about it what other movies is he in

[tommyt1971]

@CalmChaosProductions Not to mention he makes an incredible wiseass!!