Brilliant and illuminating as usual. You have enabled me acheive greater harmony and stability in my little piece of England. Thank you and God bless x
Narcissists ultimately crave control due to their deep - seated insecurity. Social media offers the perfect kind of control for them. They can portray themselves as they wish. They can 'feed their monster' 24/7.
Thank you kim and steve. you are my reality anchor!
Keep up the good work. It's important that people don't just make the word 'narcissism' some sort of mute buzz word. NPD is dangerous especially to people in relationships with these most effective deceivers. Thank you for helping to keep us safe. P.S. I'm a boomer by the way :)
A hint of enlightment it's only to deter you and entangle you again into the web of lies. So why haven't I ran for my life in almost 10 years of delusional behavior? Because this personality disorder is so subtle and undetectable. It's a love/hate because you hate who they are and love who they could be if you could just hit their head with a brick and make it all well. The truth is their demons are so intertwine that to get rid of one requires untangling an entire nest of them.
Hello, yes I think that self-centeredness is rampant in society today, but NPD in a love relationship shows itself rather differently than even the DSM describes.
I never thought of a lot of these tips before and people losing their lives in false perceptions in the search for relationship. I guess the anonymity that the web provides has a lot of downside to its benefits as well.
Great video - my X was a serial cheat with many different profiles, sites, etc., and I believe this allowed him to progress even more with NPD than he would have without it. It just makes it all easier doesn't it? - Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Kim and Steve (and Jennyfur65) - excellent points. I'm coming out of Denial at the moment, and coping with the 'leading a double life' aspect of my husband's NPD/BPD (whatever is his true diagnosis). The last few weeks I've been saying the word 'Deception' over and over as to what I'm slowly discovering he's been doing the past few months. The lies, the "confabulation" you have talked about in one of your talks - I have been deceived!!
A new and fresh way to look at narcissism. Is there a connection between social media and NPD? Definitively! Do we understand it? I don't know. But you, Kim and Steve, did bring up some good points, and I need to continue thinking and ponder upon them. Thank you for your perspective! Good point.
It's an interesting subject. I stopped playing video games as a kid simply because I felt detached after playing 8 hours straight. It's truly living in your own world. As for social networks I actually think my social skills have developed since I've been on G+. In the acting world, narcissism is prevalent, but luckily I practice the Chekhov technique which teaches you the opposite of narcissism, and also how to not "live" the character, as some do. Taught me much about how to live life. :+)
Thank you Kim and Steve for tackling these difficult subjects. Living with a deceiver is difficult and crazymaking, so identifying these behaviors injects some sanity into the situation.
Having been married to someone with NPD I have been worried that my eldest son who was exposed to his behaviour the most at a crucial stage in his life may also develop the characteristics. It's always a battle in my mind whether he is narcissistic or just being a teenager.
@wendybridge83 Because I have teenagers who drives me crazy...lol plus my friend is a psychiatrist ,she told me that all teenagers are narcissistic. It starts at about 13 and ends about 19, when the brain finishes processing. : )
Social media has drastically started a new wave of NPD. I couldn't agree more. It is desensitizing our children, lowering their self esteem, and driving their moral compasses straight into the gutter! Shows like "Jack ASS" are influencing our youth with life threatening stunts. Web cams and sex cams are where are children and spouses are trying to find answers regarding sex, attention to fill voids, or an escape from reality. Marketing to make a buck (I'm a Realtor) is anything but the truth!
I've heard some people say that FB is an outlet for the narcissist in all of us. I didn't agree. I know of a couple truly NPD people who won't use social media or keep a very light profile. I believe NPD's don't keep their profiles current because they don't want to be found by their past. Can't keep up a lie if your ex is enlightening your current SO. Would NPD's approve of everyone on their friend list being friends with each other?
@8elgian I agree with you. I know some NPD persons that use FB very lightly. For the longest time it did not make sense to me why. Just recently I understood they need to keep a facade, an outward appearance they can control and show off, and then, use other social networks to feed their own ego.
Good question. The word narcissism has changed its meaning through history. NPD was poorly named in the first place as narcissism itself is not really unhealthy, where NPD is. However now the word narcissism more often relates to the disorder. You can find an entertaining article tracing the history of the word narcissism's various meanings on our site NarcissismCured.
It certainly is a different world we are living in as a result of social media and I can see how you become frustrated @kimandSteveCooper by people diagnosing others without the kind of education and training you have had. I never equated Narcissism with social media... you've brought up some interesting points!
thought provoking concept. I suppose many of have some of these traits without really realising it. We can become obsessed with what we are doing on line so easily, especially if work from home because as @IamChrisLang pointed out we sometimes forget the real reason we for being there and ignore what is happening right under our noses in the real World.
Agree with the "just being a teenager" comment; plus anyone can become "engaged" in something relating to themselves, even social media, without being narcissistic. Temporary loss of balance or perspective is rather common, and most recover without help.
@vevstad - precisely! We are all interested in ourselves and that is normal and healthy (within reason!) The challenge for parents of teenagers is to keep a healthy and strong attachment with their kids. That can be tough with all the competition that is around these days. Doing stuff as a family that the kids want to post on their profiles (we did some fire twirling and also played softball over Christmas) is one way to bridge the gap with your kids peers.
Thought provoking video. I think where Narcissism and Social Media are linked is when the idea of promoting yourself and having the most friends, likes, views, comments, etc. becomes all consuming and you lose track of what is most important and that is contributing positively to a community without thought of reward or accolades.
@robsalzberg - Yes I agree - especially if a person is promoting themselves only to their peers and pushing the bounds of what is acceptable (in the broader community) to do so. On the other hand the feedback loop that trying to be popular online creates can actually help some people develop better social skills. In public it's harder to let someone know they are boring or what they are saying is socially unacceptable where online the feedback might be harsh but perhaps is a little more honest.
I see this all the time on social media sites in marketing. We see many many profiles that are managed profiles produced by teams of employees that masquerade as real people just working from home like I do.
These managed profiles get way more followers and traction on these social media sites. Where narcissism comes into play is when you try compete these managed marketers.
We become obsessed with the impossible, and lose touch with what is really important, our business and our families...
@IamChrisLang - That's interesting Chris. I didn't know that happened but it makes sense it would. Having unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve is certainly a HUGE factor in a person developing a narcissistic shell that can stop them being able to relate to people close to them in a genuine way. I know there have been times developing my own marketing strategies that I have wasted way too much time going after pie in the sky rather than graciously accepting what was in front of me!
Brilliant and illuminating as usual. You have enabled me acheive greater harmony and stability in my little piece of England. Thank you and God bless x
gerri49 1 month ago
You have helped me so much, thank you.
cabellk 1 month ago
Narcissists ultimately crave control due to their deep - seated insecurity. Social media offers the perfect kind of control for them. They can portray themselves as they wish. They can 'feed their monster' 24/7.
Thank you kim and steve. you are my reality anchor!
aht0011 2 months ago
Excellent presentation ... I love learning more about this and you are the go to guys IMHO. Thanks!
EnerGeeOne 2 months ago
Steve and Kim are onto something! Love their/your work.
jbaileyl 2 months ago
Keep up the good work. It's important that people don't just make the word 'narcissism' some sort of mute buzz word. NPD is dangerous especially to people in relationships with these most effective deceivers. Thank you for helping to keep us safe. P.S. I'm a boomer by the way :)
Videosoftina 2 months ago
A hint of enlightment it's only to deter you and entangle you again into the web of lies. So why haven't I ran for my life in almost 10 years of delusional behavior? Because this personality disorder is so subtle and undetectable. It's a love/hate because you hate who they are and love who they could be if you could just hit their head with a brick and make it all well. The truth is their demons are so intertwine that to get rid of one requires untangling an entire nest of them.
V0v333 2 months ago
Hello, yes I think that self-centeredness is rampant in society today, but NPD in a love relationship shows itself rather differently than even the DSM describes.
SondraSings 2 months ago
Thank you both for your work in this area. Keep it up
topedge21 2 months ago
The professionals that have read your stuff have said it is very good and right on target.
karlvlo 2 months ago
Btw, I love you guys. Thanks so much for your help. A friend told me about you a while back. Amazing story yours is!
karlvlo 2 months ago
I have an ex that continues to further ruin her life by living on facebook on a fantasy world
karlvlo 2 months ago
I never thought of a lot of these tips before and people losing their lives in false perceptions in the search for relationship. I guess the anonymity that the web provides has a lot of downside to its benefits as well.
RebeccaHappy 2 months ago
Great video - my X was a serial cheat with many different profiles, sites, etc., and I believe this allowed him to progress even more with NPD than he would have without it. It just makes it all easier doesn't it? - Thanks for sharing.
KRKing911 2 months ago
very good vedio keep up the good work!!
happy2b58 2 months ago
Thanks Kim and Steve (and Jennyfur65) - excellent points. I'm coming out of Denial at the moment, and coping with the 'leading a double life' aspect of my husband's NPD/BPD (whatever is his true diagnosis). The last few weeks I've been saying the word 'Deception' over and over as to what I'm slowly discovering he's been doing the past few months. The lies, the "confabulation" you have talked about in one of your talks - I have been deceived!!
HanorahDuggan 2 months ago
A new and fresh way to look at narcissism. Is there a connection between social media and NPD? Definitively! Do we understand it? I don't know. But you, Kim and Steve, did bring up some good points, and I need to continue thinking and ponder upon them. Thank you for your perspective! Good point.
FeliciaDana84 2 months ago
It's an interesting subject. I stopped playing video games as a kid simply because I felt detached after playing 8 hours straight. It's truly living in your own world. As for social networks I actually think my social skills have developed since I've been on G+. In the acting world, narcissism is prevalent, but luckily I practice the Chekhov technique which teaches you the opposite of narcissism, and also how to not "live" the character, as some do. Taught me much about how to live life. :+)
IamStevenVargas 2 months ago
I played World of Warcraft for 4 years and quit once I found out I was a narcisist.
NeCutthroat 2 months ago
Thank you Kim and Steve for tackling these difficult subjects. Living with a deceiver is difficult and crazymaking, so identifying these behaviors injects some sanity into the situation.
Jennyfur65 2 months ago
Having been married to someone with NPD I have been worried that my eldest son who was exposed to his behaviour the most at a crucial stage in his life may also develop the characteristics. It's always a battle in my mind whether he is narcissistic or just being a teenager.
wendybridge83 2 months ago
@wendybridge83 - Yes that can be tough. Steve and I will think about doing a show on this really soon.
kimandSteveCooper 2 months ago
@kimandSteveCooper
I would love it if you did a show on this!
rednecksify 2 months ago
@wendybridge83 Because I have teenagers who drives me crazy...lol plus my friend is a psychiatrist ,she told me that all teenagers are narcissistic. It starts at about 13 and ends about 19, when the brain finishes processing. : )
tinahill5433 2 months ago
Excellent points made!
juliet40507 2 months ago
Social media has drastically started a new wave of NPD. I couldn't agree more. It is desensitizing our children, lowering their self esteem, and driving their moral compasses straight into the gutter! Shows like "Jack ASS" are influencing our youth with life threatening stunts. Web cams and sex cams are where are children and spouses are trying to find answers regarding sex, attention to fill voids, or an escape from reality. Marketing to make a buck (I'm a Realtor) is anything but the truth!
TheKristen0304 2 months ago
Thanks for your work and all the information you share on Narcissism. Your knowledge has certainly lightened my load!
shogan508 2 months ago
I've heard some people say that FB is an outlet for the narcissist in all of us. I didn't agree. I know of a couple truly NPD people who won't use social media or keep a very light profile. I believe NPD's don't keep their profiles current because they don't want to be found by their past. Can't keep up a lie if your ex is enlightening your current SO. Would NPD's approve of everyone on their friend list being friends with each other?
8elgian 2 months ago
@8elgian I agree with you. I know some NPD persons that use FB very lightly. For the longest time it did not make sense to me why. Just recently I understood they need to keep a facade, an outward appearance they can control and show off, and then, use other social networks to feed their own ego.
FeliciaDana84 2 months ago
@FeliciaDana84 Amen!
8elgian 2 months ago
You both do such a great job of communicating about this topic, and your work is very important. Thank you!
jfamilysh 2 months ago
Good question. The word narcissism has changed its meaning through history. NPD was poorly named in the first place as narcissism itself is not really unhealthy, where NPD is. However now the word narcissism more often relates to the disorder. You can find an entertaining article tracing the history of the word narcissism's various meanings on our site NarcissismCured.
kimandSteveCooper 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos
So is there any difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder? Is it the same concept? Or is it just a difference of severity?
tdparisi 2 months ago
It certainly is a different world we are living in as a result of social media and I can see how you become frustrated @kimandSteveCooper by people diagnosing others without the kind of education and training you have had. I never equated Narcissism with social media... you've brought up some interesting points!
gutzywoman 2 months ago
thought provoking concept. I suppose many of have some of these traits without really realising it. We can become obsessed with what we are doing on line so easily, especially if work from home because as @IamChrisLang pointed out we sometimes forget the real reason we for being there and ignore what is happening right under our noses in the real World.
termspec 2 months ago
Agree with the "just being a teenager" comment; plus anyone can become "engaged" in something relating to themselves, even social media, without being narcissistic. Temporary loss of balance or perspective is rather common, and most recover without help.
vevstad 2 months ago 2
@vevstad - precisely! We are all interested in ourselves and that is normal and healthy (within reason!) The challenge for parents of teenagers is to keep a healthy and strong attachment with their kids. That can be tough with all the competition that is around these days. Doing stuff as a family that the kids want to post on their profiles (we did some fire twirling and also played softball over Christmas) is one way to bridge the gap with your kids peers.
kimandSteveCooper 2 months ago
Thought provoking video. I think where Narcissism and Social Media are linked is when the idea of promoting yourself and having the most friends, likes, views, comments, etc. becomes all consuming and you lose track of what is most important and that is contributing positively to a community without thought of reward or accolades.
robsalzberg 2 months ago
@robsalzberg - Yes I agree - especially if a person is promoting themselves only to their peers and pushing the bounds of what is acceptable (in the broader community) to do so. On the other hand the feedback loop that trying to be popular online creates can actually help some people develop better social skills. In public it's harder to let someone know they are boring or what they are saying is socially unacceptable where online the feedback might be harsh but perhaps is a little more honest.
kimandSteveCooper 2 months ago
I see this all the time on social media sites in marketing. We see many many profiles that are managed profiles produced by teams of employees that masquerade as real people just working from home like I do.
These managed profiles get way more followers and traction on these social media sites. Where narcissism comes into play is when you try compete these managed marketers.
We become obsessed with the impossible, and lose touch with what is really important, our business and our families...
IamChrisLang 2 months ago
@IamChrisLang - That's interesting Chris. I didn't know that happened but it makes sense it would. Having unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve is certainly a HUGE factor in a person developing a narcissistic shell that can stop them being able to relate to people close to them in a genuine way. I know there have been times developing my own marketing strategies that I have wasted way too much time going after pie in the sky rather than graciously accepting what was in front of me!
kimandSteveCooper 2 months ago