I like Sam more than Samantha to, I just thought I'd mention it because you said you wanted a long name that could be shortened. A gender neutral name sounds like a good idea since you aren't sure about your future. I like the name Sam because I'm a Stargate fan and Sam Carter is my favorite fictional female characture.
I guess you don't like the name Samantha? I guess that would be a bad idea if you might eventually have your gender marker changed, then you'd be male with a female name.
In one of your videos many months ago you related the experience of being sent to the "Garcon" restroom by mistake in France.
If you get an M on your lincense, especially with the name Samuel, people will certainly expect you to use the men's room. This didn't seem like something you'd be comfortable with.
How would you deal with that if all your ID said you were male?
"Well, yes officer, I know my ID says "M", but I'm not on testosterone and I haven't had any surgery down there."
point taken. and i agree to a point. i think if i decided to get M on my ID that would be a huge step, regardless of what i decide to do about my name. it would be the kind of step that i would only take (i think) if i were on T and doing the male bathroom thing. honestly, my realistic worry at this point is being read as female with the name samuel and the confusion that would cause more than anything else, regardless of gender-marker which would most likely remain female.
@ aedn, is that a state-specific thing or does that work in all states?
@ Sam, wow, that is a big dilemma. I do however wonder if you're not making it a bigger problem than it will be (that's what i usually do :D). Will it really be a constant nuisance that people will do a double take because the name won't match the GM? Maybe it will be, I don't know. I think not taking T and having M will be a bigger problem. Well, that depends on how much you pass I guess.
hey micha- i think the double-take will be of a person they read as female with the name samuel, rather than the gender marker on the ID... i am most worried about the societal confusion i would cause and subsequent embarrassment and awkwardness i would feel. :o/ hm... *hug* right back atcha. thanks, man.
You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. Maybe you could shrug it off with a comment about your parents picking such a namen, but I guess that doesn't work too much either.
That is definitely very true. I really hope you'll figure it out soon. Hopefully you can get to the part where you just think "screw it all, i'm just gonna do what *I* want" but that's a difficult stage to get to, I think.
@MrImportrans Driver's Licenses are granted by the state, each has its own rules. For gender markers, you don't always need a court order, and you don't always need to change your birth certificate (it's rarely needed). In CA one can do DL with a doctor's letter and Social Sec and Passport with a surgeon's letter. The only court order needed is for the name. I think changing the birth cert at all is a matter of personal preference and not necessity, but I'd be interested to learn differently.
I don't have an American birth certificate (permanent resident, not a citizen) so I've always wondered how to change that stuff. Name and gender marker change is going to be a challenge because I will eventually have dual citizenship (American and Dutch) and I have no clue how to go about that ;) having at least a DL that reflects "me" would help a lot, i'll worry about both passports later ;) Thanks.
YES. a good path, indeed. :) i just need the courage to do it. -- the film is coming along!! its called 'genderbusters' and we've got a facebook page for it under 'genderbusters film.' i just got back from los angeles this evening with the footage that looks amazing.
Sam, thank you for the shout out, and you're very welcome! I've followed your videos for quite some time now and I was becoming worried about the severity of your doom problem. Sounds like you have a good plan as you outlined it at the end, and I think Aedn's advice is good, too. I'm at the same point, struggling with the marker/name change. I'm going to give it time. Transition is about doing what you're comfortable with. Have faith. Lots of hugs - Tim
I was Henry Radford & Female on my documents for about 8 years before changing it this past April. Yeah, there was the occassional annoying incident but it really didn't cause problems. The most annoying aspect was I worked in a phone bank and I *did* get a lot of questions over the phone when I gave my name. I like "Aedn"'s idea above. Being able to change yr DL but leave yr other docs...also doesn't need to be forever. You might decide to change things further later on. Best of luck! xoxo
hey radford- thanks for the comment. were you on T at the time? i think it would be a somewhat different situation if i were to change the gender marker but not take T. then people would read me as female (as they frustratingly do now) but then be like, why is your name samuel?!? arg........
You can change your gender marker on your DL without top surgery or even hormones, just a doctor's letter. If they mark the form "transitional" it's good for 5 years, then you need another form from a doc. If the doc marks it "complete" it's permanent. You don't have to go on to change it federally or on your birth certificate if you don't want to. It may be preferable not to in certain tax or other circumstances.
woah, i had no idea you could do that! hm, i still don't know if i should change the gender marker, but thank you for the info! you know so much stuff, dude! thanks!
That's why I picked Primal Beast, because it's so gender neutral. ;-)
Actually it's the name of one of my World of Warcraft toons. One of the nice things about role playing games is you get to pick your gender.
Primalxbeast 1 year ago
I like Sam more than Samantha to, I just thought I'd mention it because you said you wanted a long name that could be shortened. A gender neutral name sounds like a good idea since you aren't sure about your future. I like the name Sam because I'm a Stargate fan and Sam Carter is my favorite fictional female characture.
Primalxbeast 1 year ago
@Primalxbeast yeah i am leaning towards sam these days...
videokidsam 1 year ago
I guess you don't like the name Samantha? I guess that would be a bad idea if you might eventually have your gender marker changed, then you'd be male with a female name.
Primalxbeast 1 year ago
@Primalxbeast nope. i don't like the name samantha. i either want a gender-neutral name or a male name.
videokidsam 1 year ago
In one of your videos many months ago you related the experience of being sent to the "Garcon" restroom by mistake in France.
If you get an M on your lincense, especially with the name Samuel, people will certainly expect you to use the men's room. This didn't seem like something you'd be comfortable with.
How would you deal with that if all your ID said you were male?
"Well, yes officer, I know my ID says "M", but I'm not on testosterone and I haven't had any surgery down there."
Cyntillation01 2 years ago
point taken. and i agree to a point. i think if i decided to get M on my ID that would be a huge step, regardless of what i decide to do about my name. it would be the kind of step that i would only take (i think) if i were on T and doing the male bathroom thing. honestly, my realistic worry at this point is being read as female with the name samuel and the confusion that would cause more than anything else, regardless of gender-marker which would most likely remain female.
videokidsam 2 years ago
@ aedn, is that a state-specific thing or does that work in all states?
@ Sam, wow, that is a big dilemma. I do however wonder if you're not making it a bigger problem than it will be (that's what i usually do :D). Will it really be a constant nuisance that people will do a double take because the name won't match the GM? Maybe it will be, I don't know. I think not taking T and having M will be a bigger problem. Well, that depends on how much you pass I guess.
I'm sorry it's so hard. *hug*
MrImportrans 2 years ago
hey micha- i think the double-take will be of a person they read as female with the name samuel, rather than the gender marker on the ID... i am most worried about the societal confusion i would cause and subsequent embarrassment and awkwardness i would feel. :o/ hm... *hug* right back atcha. thanks, man.
videokidsam 2 years ago
You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. Maybe you could shrug it off with a comment about your parents picking such a namen, but I guess that doesn't work too much either.
How about Samuel Elizabeth? Just a weird idea ;)
MrImportrans 2 years ago
this is the tricky stuff that being externally genderqueer is made of, yes?
videokidsam 2 years ago
That is definitely very true. I really hope you'll figure it out soon. Hopefully you can get to the part where you just think "screw it all, i'm just gonna do what *I* want" but that's a difficult stage to get to, I think.
MrImportrans 2 years ago
@MrImportrans Driver's Licenses are granted by the state, each has its own rules. For gender markers, you don't always need a court order, and you don't always need to change your birth certificate (it's rarely needed). In CA one can do DL with a doctor's letter and Social Sec and Passport with a surgeon's letter. The only court order needed is for the name. I think changing the birth cert at all is a matter of personal preference and not necessity, but I'd be interested to learn differently.
aedn 2 years ago
I don't have an American birth certificate (permanent resident, not a citizen) so I've always wondered how to change that stuff. Name and gender marker change is going to be a challenge because I will eventually have dual citizenship (American and Dutch) and I have no clue how to go about that ;) having at least a DL that reflects "me" would help a lot, i'll worry about both passports later ;) Thanks.
MrImportrans 2 years ago
Sounds as if you are heading for the same path as I've been thinking I ideally want to take. (Top surgery, hysterectomy, no T and male/neutral name.)
So curious about your film!
Hundkoppel 2 years ago
YES. a good path, indeed. :) i just need the courage to do it. -- the film is coming along!! its called 'genderbusters' and we've got a facebook page for it under 'genderbusters film.' i just got back from los angeles this evening with the footage that looks amazing.
videokidsam 2 years ago
Sam, thank you for the shout out, and you're very welcome! I've followed your videos for quite some time now and I was becoming worried about the severity of your doom problem. Sounds like you have a good plan as you outlined it at the end, and I think Aedn's advice is good, too. I'm at the same point, struggling with the marker/name change. I'm going to give it time. Transition is about doing what you're comfortable with. Have faith. Lots of hugs - Tim
Dweebiedo 2 years ago
HUGS TO YOU, DWEEB. seriously, man, you rule.
videokidsam 2 years ago
p.s. I REALLY like the thoughts you addressed (thanks dweeb) in the latter half of your video. You sound like yr definitely on the right track!
Popeslave 2 years ago
yeah, things are coming into place with that stuff i hope. :) dweeb RULES.
videokidsam 2 years ago
I was Henry Radford & Female on my documents for about 8 years before changing it this past April. Yeah, there was the occassional annoying incident but it really didn't cause problems. The most annoying aspect was I worked in a phone bank and I *did* get a lot of questions over the phone when I gave my name. I like "Aedn"'s idea above. Being able to change yr DL but leave yr other docs...also doesn't need to be forever. You might decide to change things further later on. Best of luck! xoxo
Popeslave 2 years ago
hey radford- thanks for the comment. were you on T at the time? i think it would be a somewhat different situation if i were to change the gender marker but not take T. then people would read me as female (as they frustratingly do now) but then be like, why is your name samuel?!? arg........
videokidsam 2 years ago
You can change your gender marker on your DL without top surgery or even hormones, just a doctor's letter. If they mark the form "transitional" it's good for 5 years, then you need another form from a doc. If the doc marks it "complete" it's permanent. You don't have to go on to change it federally or on your birth certificate if you don't want to. It may be preferable not to in certain tax or other circumstances.
aedn 2 years ago
woah, i had no idea you could do that! hm, i still don't know if i should change the gender marker, but thank you for the info! you know so much stuff, dude! thanks!
videokidsam 2 years ago