@sexforyoumrhex I posted a request on AVEN, the LiveJournal Asexuality group, and to some of my asexual friends on Facebook. They sent the videos and I edited it together.
@Chamelionroses Which is why I generally block people within two messages if they have nothing polite and constructive to say, but considering "you're too ugly to get laid" is one of the most common responses I hear, I don't think it's necessarily ridiculous to believe this particular one meant it. Ultimatekai below was a much more obvious troll, I think, especially the laughable bit about having talked to "countless" asexuals just looking for ONE that isn't unattractive.
I laughed so much during this. In a way it's depressing because I recognize most of these... but it's just ridiculously entertaining at the same time.
@whohie Aw. :) Yes, it's terrible that we all hear the same things, but pointing them out and saying "this is not a response we want to hear anymore" is kind of powerful in itself, I think.
@tickedoffnow Please read the attached info sheet, because the asexual community in general begs to differ. In case you're not willing to read what everyone else has to say on the subject, the short version is that plenty of people do not consider masturbation "a sexual behavior," and I don't think they'd appreciate you trying to exclude them from identifying as asexual when the defining factor of asexuality is not being sexually attracted to others.
Their was like only one slightly do-able girl in that entire video. As far as I can tell the guys were ugly fucker as well. Seems more like they just cant get any to me but ....ok....
@ForsakenReaperr That's great, we appreciate knowing that you are entitled to dictate what our sexuality is based on your aesthetic taste. Do you also think trans women aren't women unless they make you horny?
@swankivy Calm down now, I simply find it amusing that the majority of the people here calling themselves Asexuals are rather ugly. It seems that they just cant get any and asexuality is a convenient excuse. Obviously asexuality is recognized as a real thing and this is not true for all asexuals (just to be clear). As for the tranny thing I dont define a man who had fake breasts and a fake vagina surgically added to be a women regardless of their appearance but thats a whole different thing.
@ForsakenReaperr It's so funny how people like you pretend my response is hysterical just because it's a response. As for insisting that you only found one bangable chick in this video and presenting it as an objective fact, we pretty much just laugh when we hear such things, because it's common for certain ignorant types of people to believe that our sexuality is about their willingness to screw us. We don't appreciate your "concession" on the reality of asexuality, either.
@ForsakenReaperr As for your comments on "trannies," that's hilarious too. It's common for people who completely have never listened to anyone's perspective on the transgender experience to insist that trans people "think they are" the opposite gender BECAUSE they had surgery. But if you're making an argument like that, it's clear you prefer judging ignorantly to drawing up an informed opinion. You'll research others' perspectives if you care, and if not, you'll keep doing this.
It's like if someone says 'you're not really dislike apples, you were just feed with them too much when you were kid'. Or 'you don't really prefer red color over blue - it's just because you're such a hothead, researches here says many of your personality type loves red'. There are plenty of non-asexuals within schizoids, autistic guys, etc. As well as not all aces have said 'reason' to be one. And even if they do have a reason… heck, so what? it doesn't make them any less valid by default.
@LoneIrbis In my video "The Unassailable Asexual," I discuss some of these "other" attributes that are sometimes attached to asexuality and blamed for causing it. My message throughout is that asexuality, regardless of how it came to be someone's orientation, is not something that should be dismissed or assigned as a symptom of pathology. Different aspects of our personalities and psyches influence who we are, and that's how being human WORKS.
It is what you may hear from people who know you good enough and who are aware of your personality 'unusualness' (aspergers, hormonal disfunction, various disorders, etc), and also educated enough to understand that low libido is not that rare within those groups. So they assume if you happen to claim yourself asexual in that case - it'd automatically makes you 'fake' asexual. But if you look at it this way, you can find a reason for nearly everything that makes you what you are. (last bit next)
@LoneIrbis I went into detail about this phenomenon in some of my other writings--like, my example was that if you were taken to see an orchestra at age 4 and since then were so inspired that you started practicing the violin and became a concert musician forever, would people point to that event and say "you don't really love music; you were just conditioned so young"? Or would they acknowledge that who we are forms around many experiences and inborn inclinations that encourage us?
@swankivy yes, your example with music is even more accurate then mine :) That was exactly my point, and i'm glad to know i'm not the only one thinking this way. It's just sometimes unpleasant to realize that just about everyone i know are unable to understand this point of view. :( But oh well, not like i'm not used to not be understood hehe ^.^ Gonna check on all of your videos now :)
@LoneIrbis Yeah, I think you'll like the message of Unassailable Asexual because of how it lines up with what you were saying. I think the music example and the apple example are both good. I mean, someone who's fed apples as a kid could decide "okay, I'm SICK of this" and not like them in adulthood, or a kid could love apples in the future because of growing up with them. Some of how we react to what we're exposed to is related to our individual, unique takes on the world.
Wow, that was a decent collection of sh*t many aces (myself included) hear a lot. To all who worked on this video, and @swankivy in particular - many thanks. :) As aromantic asexual agender (many a-'s, i know >_>) with SPD i can probably add one thing not mentioned directly (thought there were a close ones). I mean the "oh, so you have [insert whatever is "wrong" with you] - you're not real asexual, you have a REASON to be one". Not sure if i word it correctly. (see next post for more)
@LoneIrbis YES, this is all very important! People who have those same "reasons" occur among the non-asexual population too, so it only makes sense that some percentage of asexuals would have those traits. And no matter how the intersectionality works in your particular case, there's nothing to be gained by claiming one thing causes another and therefore something about your experience isn't "authentic."
@swankivy Anyway I wanted to point out the fundamental attribution error people generally tend to make, I believe that's what you're addressing when it comes to other people's perspective on asexuality.
@ernis1100 Well, it's true that sometimes their understanding of cause and effect is backwards. We're not asexual because we're intellectual (if we're both). We're not asexual because we're ugly if we are, or because we're ill if we are, or because we're socially inept if we are. I just have a problem with automatic association of asexuality with lack of emotion, standoffish intellectualism, or superiority (along with other factors such as moral purity or strength of character).
@ernis1100 Whatever works in your own life is great. I'm just explaining why I have to be careful about associations I make since I'm one of the faces of this movement. Since (as I said) people have certain attitudes about sex and therefore about those who don't engage in it (for whatever reason), I have to take care to avoid encouraging cause-effect relationships or associations where there aren't necessarily any. And pursuing any passion to excess does drown out other wants and needs, sure.
@swankivy Oh I didn't see your previous comment there, the "anyway" wasn't directed towards it.
You're correct emotion/intellect aren't exclusive conditions, however extensive expression of one tends to suppress or use another for it's own purposes. Lastly superiority/moral purity are subjective, I'm also aware of it, never intended to associate them or apathy with asexuality, I only used my example due to the common reception and reaction on our non-visible abnormalities.
@Narutorocks143 Interestingly, most plants reproduce sexually--there are some asexual plants, but yeah. When someone tries to dismiss asexuality as an orientation by saying that's a word we apply to non-human creatures' reproduction, I like to say "Words mean different things depending on how you use them. A tall person and a tall coffee aren't the same thing--would you tell me I must think I'm a caffeine drink if I say I'm a tall person?" We're talking about orientation, not reproduction.
hilariously enough plants aren't asexual by the biological definition either...
Asexual reproduction is a mode of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single parent, and inherit the genes of that parent only; it is reproduction which does not involve meiosis, ploidy reduction, or fertilization
plants must be fertilized. So not only is she wrong about it not being a real sexuality but she's wrong about the biological aspects to.
If you don't live by your instincts you will be condemned, which is ironic considering how proud people are of being "Homo sapiens". The things I've heard about my apathy are pretty much the same and when I tell them something like the fact that there's an inverse correlation between emotion and intellect they just say something like "Whatever, you're just depressed and you're trying to justify it". People like rationalizations.
@ernis1100 I know what you mean. They scream about how this is "natural" and this is "how we propagate" and this is "an intrinsic part of being human," but don't stop for a moment to understand that ALL creatures who develop through evolution have existing variants. In a population that does not desperately need all of its members to reproduce in order to succeed, it doesn't make sense to marginalize and harass the members who are happier not participating.
@ernis1100 I don't like to say stuff like "there's an inverse correlation between emotion and intellect," though. People tend to take such comments as elitist--and truthfully, it rubs me the wrong way too. I'm not asexual because I'm just too smart/intellectual to be interested in base compulsions like sex; my intelligence has nothing to do with my sexuality. We probably don't need any fuel for that fire since many people automatically assume asexuals are making claims of superiority.
@swankivy True, It does sound elitist, but I have no intention of using it in such a context. I try to use it to explain my condition, not to claim that it's superior. Since people I say it to know my intellectually demanding lifestyle, I leave it up to them to figure it out in case I don't trigger their emotional defense reaction.
I'm not voluntarily blocking emotions due to an ideology. I'm (drastically) increasing my intellectual workload and apathy is a side effect.
@ernis1100 Bottom line is that we all pursue our passions. Those passions don't have to be sexual. There is already a tendency among humans in general to assume that anyone uninterested in the object of THEIR passion is therefore rejecting and devaluing that passion in general, not just for the self. I don't feel that "being emotional" and "being intellectual" are mutually exclusive conditions, nor do I feel that someone who isn't sexual is therefore unemotional.
this video made me realize i'm asexual, or rather, that i don't have to fit into stereotypes and traditions to identify that way. you don't know how good it feels to finally have a label for myself, so thank you :3
@AngelLustZombie That's wonderful. ;) Yes, some people say "it's just a word!" or "why do you need labels, be BEYOND labels!" but the problem is that things that exist have words. If we have no word to talk about it, it makes it feel like it isn't happening or doesn't exist. Having a word lends legitimacy to a situation and allows us to talk about the experience. I'm glad you found yourself in our silly video. :)
i consider myself pretty accepting of asexuality.... my problem is that it's so extremely different from myself that it's actually kind of hard for me to comprehend it. like.... trying to comprehend someone who never feels hunger or something? it's hard but i try! but despite being as accepting as possible i have asked CERTAIN people the "have you had your hormones checked?" thing before because i have PCOS and, to be fair, hyposexuality (rather than a!) can be a symptom of hormone imbalance.
@ashoftomorrow Yeah. I'm sure asexuals have trouble imagining what it'd be like to be very motivated by sex, too. The important thing is that people like you and people like me be able to acknowledge that we're different--and even frankly admit that we have trouble conceptualizing each other's experience--without marginalizing each other or condescendingly ordering each other to be more like us.
@ashoftomorrow But if you have an acquaintance or friend whose situation does suggest hormone imbalance--or lack of nutrition, or glandular pathology, or biological dysfunction of some kind--and you have the kind of relationship with that person which would allow personal medical questions to be welcome and appropriate, it's not rude to discuss it. We're just tired of having strangers or well-meaning friends/family give us the knee-jerk "oh it's a medical problem!" response.
@ashoftomorrow - the trick is that you can have wonky hormones & be ace. I was diagnosed with PCOS in HS because of irregular periods but PCOS causes you to have elevated testosterone & if it's off-the-charts elevated you can get decreased libido, but if it's only a little elevated you get an increased libido. For most of my life I've had a very high libido thanks to my wonky hormones (& when they put me on pills which "fixed" my hormones it destroyed my libido until I went off of them).
@ashoftomorrow so I'm always frustrated when people "blame" my being ace on my hormones. Yes, I had them checked (& have had them checked by all my doctors since HS) & yes I know they are a little wonky but I have chosen not to medicate for them because when they put me on pills and said they "fixed" me not only was I still not attracted to anyone but nothing aroused me, which I found very disconcerting. So I always cringe a little when people say that no aces have hormone imbalances - some do!
@ashoftomorrow In the same breath, I know people who had off-the-charts-hormone-issues which are the cause of their lack of interest in sex - but they all seem to be bothered by their lack of interest because they remember what it felt like to be attracted to someone & to be interested in sex (just like when they "fixed" my hormones I remembered what it felt like to be able to get aroused - even if it wasn't at the thought of intercourse) where as I think most aces didn't ever have that feeling.
@StygianDawn Nah, I didn't "forget" any of them--there are probably literally dozens I didn't do!--but I think "I've never heard of that except in plants" is in the same category, so I didn't repeat it, and went into more detail on the info sheet about single-celled creatures reproducing and whatnot. I hate the amoeba joke. . . .
@NaomiLawlietJr Thanks. :) As sad as it is that we all have these experiences, it's somewhat comforting to know that other people have to deal with the same crap, huh?
@barliluv Well, ignorance is best combated by education, and I have absolutely no complaints if someone who was ignorant of the orientation but open to learning about it takes it upon themselves to do so! It's not a crime to be ignorant, but it's borderline criminal to insist on staying that way despite alternatives.
@ultimatekai I'm sorry, I just don't believe being this trollish is a real thing. I think it's an excuse for being too close-minded for anyone to want to bother addressing you.
@swankivy The fact that you blocked me makes YOU the close-minded one. You can't even take someone's criticism or listen to someone else's point of view on the subject! I have listened to countless people on the subject of asexuality and nothing has ever convinced me.
If it's not just an excuse for ugly people, then why are there NO attractive, young, beautiful women that are asexual? Every asexual I have ever encountered is fat, ugly, and undesirable. Because it's just an excuse. (c)
@fiveawesomekais Wrong. Cutting off the same ignorant comments I've had to answer over and over--including in the video you claim to have watched--is not being "close-minded." Tell a gay person they're gay because they're just too repulsive to the opposite sex and see if they feel compelled to "respect" your opinion. You're being dismissive, and calling everyone in the video you just watched "fat, ugly, and undesirable." It's not an opinion we need to hear again.
@fiveawesomekais Ok so I guess I am now fat, ugly, and undesirable. Even if all that was true, so what? I still don't feel sexual attraction and if you refuse to accept that fact, well then, don't be a dick and move along instead of insulting an entire community. Also I would contend there were several young, beautiful women in this very video. With that aside, if your belief is that all of us are these things, then you are welcome to, but I have to express that I find your logic fallacious.
@TungstenEdge I like your response here (though of course this person can't reply on this account because I blocked, twice). I went into this a bit in my Unassailable Asexual videos. Some of any population, including asexuals, is probably going to be below average in normative attractiveness. That doesn't mean they're not asexual. And of course it's dismissive to assume the only reason to not get sex is to not be ABLE to get it.
@TungstenEdge I also find it kinda hilarious that this commenter acts like a serious, unbiased effort was undertaken to interview and objectively evaluate asexuals in the hopes of finding one, just ONE shining example of someone who wasn't too fugly to fuck. And of course it's our obligation to CONVINCE unbelievers that we aren't full of crap; until we CONVINCE them, well, how can they be expected to treat us with the respect and courtesy normally due a human being, right?
@fiveawesomekais And if that is your oh-so-important "omg you're squashing my free speech" opinion, feel free to keep it, or perhaps you'll educate yourself. Either way, I don't need yet another person saying "you're too ugly to get laid" as a way of dismissing my and every other asexual's orientation. Deal with it, or don't, but seriously, you are not giving us something to think about.
@ultimatekai Just commenting again to clarify my last comment. I wasn't trying to demean you or dismiss your opinion, which I can see easily being inferred due to lack of tone in text. I just thought it did more harm than good to express your opinion here and that I disagree with you classification of all Asexual as "Undesirable". Anyways, I hope you don't completely close yourself off to future arguments/examples of Asexuality. I apologize if I seemed overtly aggressive.
When I was in college, my roommate was a thirty year old virgin who got some odd responses from my fellow dorm residents. I think about it sometimes because I am now a 39 year old virgin. I think I just haven't found the right guy but who knows. (I hope that any ways.)
@rainbowheartlove1 Well, that's cool . . . if you're interested in someone, go for it, and if not, it doesn't mean you're broken. I think that's one of the things asexual people have to deal with that's most frustrating--that if we don't do what other people want us to do, there's something inherently wrong with us. But even for non-asexual people who just aren't conforming to the norm in their relationships, it doesn't mean something has to be wrong with you. As long as you're happy. :)
I know I've already commented, but I feel I need to correct you on something being asexual myself after having read your info sheet on "shit people say to asexuals." The asexual orientation actually has a double meaning... While, yes, you are correct that one of the meanings is to not be sexually attracted to anyone, the other is to simply not be interested in sex. So yes, it is possible for an asexual to be straight or gay, or even bisexual, by default...
For example, if I were to become interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, whether it be sexual or nonsexual, I would strongly prefer it be with a guy, not a girl. I do experience physical attraction on some level to a select few of men, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them... I can't help how I feel about sex anymore than you can, so I do feel justified and validated with identifying myself as asexual. Celibacy is a choice, my feelings are not.
@JediTat As for your attractions, if your physical attractions aren't the kind of physical attractions that make you want to have sex, that's solidly within the asexual sphere; plenty of asexual people feel interested in being close to another person (and sometimes it's gender-specific). There're plenty of gray areas, and behaviors, that asexuals experience without invalidating their asexuality, and I'm not seeing a contradiction in terms with what you outlined here.
@JediTat I don't follow you on how that's a correction. People can be asexual and not be interested in sex, or be sexual and not be interested in sex at any given time, but the interest in sex itself isn't part of orientation. Sex is a behavior. I'm not seeing how it would be a contradiction for an asexual to say they're straight or gay, either--many asexuals call themselves straight or gay or bi or pan based on romantic attraction.
@swankivy I realize that people who are sexual can not necessarily be interested in the behavior or act of sex... Not everyone who is sexual is a sexual deviant or considers sex to be a top priority. Everyone views sex differently. It's more than just a behavior, it's a social concept. Some view it as simply an act of lust, which is why some can do it so casually, while others view it as an act that you only do when you're in love with someone.
@JediTat People have tons of different ways of looking at sex, sure. Their umbrella attitudes toward it are shaped by their attitudes and attractions and experiences in all things. I sure HOPE no one thinks everyone who's sexual is a sexual deviant or considers it a top priority, though those who do think it's central to life like to say "people who say it isn't are lying." (Which is ridiculous.) Don't know why so many feel compelled to tell other people what it's proper for them to feel.
@swankivy So the thing that I don't get, is how can someone not have any sexual attraction for anyone, but be interested in having sex at the same time? It's the variable that what it comes down to. The two and two doesn't go together like someone who is sexual not considering sex to be important.
I don't have any romantic interests, but I do experience physical attraction from time to time. I just draw the line where sex is concerned.
@JediTat Some asexual people who have enjoyed sex itself describe it like this: they wouldn't express their love and romantic attraction for someone by consummating it with sex if it were based entirely on their own inclination, but as an act that the other person finds compelling and as an act that celebrates closeness and as an act that they can get physical pleasure from, some asexuals can still engage in it and like it. Here are some interesting stats:
@JediTat In a recent census, 17% of asexuals said they'd be willing to have regular sex in a relationship; 6.9% said they enjoy having sex; 8.2% said they were sexually active. This group includes demisexuals and gray-asexuals. I also think people who experience sexual attraction can say "I'm attracted to people sexually, but not interested in performing the deed"--for any reason, including religious beliefs, or just finding the issues (physical/emotion) that go along with it too much trouble.
@swankivy Well the 6.9% baffle me. lol. I have been sexually active once upon a time... but I never enjoyed sex and I don't think I ever will. I guess that might just make me nonsexual, but I identify myself as asexual for the reason that physical attraction and sexual attraction doesn't go hand in hand for me. I can feel physically attraction to someone, but it never goes beyond that.
@JediTat Yeah, I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex either, I don't think--I didn't enjoy anything close to it that boys talked me into, and haven't ever had any inclinations that way to initiate anything myself. I used to call myself "nonsexual" before there was an asexual community, but started using the term once it became attached to the awareness efforts, and yes, physical attraction that isn't sexual attraction is normal for a romantic asexual person.
I don't get how most people can assume that being asexual means you've never at one point in your life been sexually active... Yes, there are times when I wish I can take all of it back, but then there would always be that "what if" in the back of my mind if I had never had sex or engaged in sexual foreplay at all... So I do kind of get the question, "how do you know if you've never tried it?" The only thing that bothers me about that question is the assumption behind it that I'm a virgin.
I detest ignorance in general, but at the same time I like being about to get along with people as much as possible so that I can have something called a social life, so I don't usually bring up the fact that I'm asexual unless or until it becomes necessary. Just like I don't think it's necessary to let everyone know that I'm also an atheist and a vegetarian. These things are only a part of who I am, they don't make up the whole picture.
@JediTat Yep, how much you talk about it and how much you share about yourself is up to you. If it's none of people's business, it's none of people's business. Of course, being asexual shouldn't be something that causes conversations to screech to a halt and shunning to happen, so I hope you're not saying bringing these things up would ruin you social life. I don't look for opportunities to bring it up, but it does come up; I have lots of friends who know and they don't give me crap.
@JediTat Yeah, there's no reason to assume an asexual hasn't had sex, just like some gay people have had straight sex "just to make sure." We're usually raised to think that something's wrong if we're not straight, so if we're not the "default," we're made to feel like we should try to be before we "give up" and be something else. I don't think you have to have sex to know whether you want to do it, any more than straight people have to have gay sex to know they don't want it.
@sexforyoumrhex Yep, quite a few people said "you'll grow out of it." Tends to be something younger asexuals hear. Until they're old enough that people start telling them it's normal for older people to stop wanting sex. :D (You can't win!)
@EternityRose Yeah. I don't care if people are curious if they've never heard of it before, and I'm more than fine with answering questions, but people need to learn a) how to educate THEMSELVES on things if they might be sensitive subjects, and b) how to NOT treat people like they're ridiculous, lying, or obligated to try to be sexual before identifying as asexual. Some good old fashioned respect is sorely needed.
How can you be asexual but have a totally pervy sense of humor and write erotic literature? Someone told me I couldn't be asexual because of those two things and I didn't know how to respond.
@LifeInNewJersey The attached info sheet in the video description might help elaborate on how to answer that question. But the short answer is that joking about sex and writing about sex isn't the same thing as doing sex or wanting to do sex. Saying you "can't" do those things and be asexual is like saying you "can't" write about a guy being a carpenter if you don't actually want to be a carpenter.
@LifeInNewJersey I've written somewhat erotic literature from time to time myself, and I've had someone ask me this question once... My response was, "Asexual does not equal to never having been sexual activity or not understanding sex and intimacy. I understand it, I just have no need or interest for it." At at least it was somewhere along those lines.
@HezaaZee Yeah, only one of the gender-related suggestions I had in the list for contributors got used, which was "if you're not sure about your gender identity, you can't be sure about your sexual orientation," which is both a transphobic and acephobic statement since trans people aren't normally "not sure" about their gender. There are some great trans-related videos in the "shit people say" genre here on YouTube, and I'm sure there would be a lot of intersectionality to what trans aces hear!
God, do I ever know the "it's just a phase" and the "you'll find SOMEONE, SOMEDAY" comment. From my parents. Neither of them believe me, and they roll their eyes when I bring it up.
@Luxandran Oh, well the fun thing is, once you get old enough to hear "you'll outgrow it" and "this is a phase" and "one day you'll mature," that's when it pretty much turns right around and people treat you like you're saying you're asexual because you're too old to be attractive or your libido must've waned because of your age. Excellent!
@brownbearclan It's not wrong at all to wonder . . . that's part of the reason I made the attached explanation file, so people could understand why and in what contexts we tend not to like certain comments and questions. The problem, I think, is that sometimes people ask the questions either condescendingly ("do you want kids?" vs. "DON'T YOU WANT KIDS??") or invasively (no matter how curious you are, you shouldn't assume it's okay to ask strangers if they masturbate). Ya know. :)
It's great that there are asexual people in the world - but everyone needs affection and there's a problem when seeking that affection as a partner from someone who has sexual desires.People should be more acceptant of asexuals so that they can be open about it and not be a tease.They can also have sex but not enjoy it and avoid it as much as possible so the deceitefull romantic relationship can go on to everyone's loss.So please do make your voices heard so we know what not to expect from you
@ThoronRayan I don't think there's any widespread problem with asexual people deceiving significant others or trying to trap people in sexless relationships against their will, though I'm sure there are asexuals who don't know they're asexual and are trying to figure out why they can't like people sexually. That's not "deceitful." Sure, awareness is key, but sexually incompatible relationships can work; compromise is necessary in all aspects of a relationship. It's up to the individuals.
They should really start teaching people about this in school maybe health class or something, there has to be more ways to educate the mass media. It's really not fair that anyone should have to constantly explain themselves when it's just a matter of actually taking the time to learn and listen. The way the media portrays asexuals doesn't help either, I remember on 6 feet under they had an asexual intern they depicted as unstable, they even went as far to say that all of them are actually gay.
@RightMeow69 SERIOUSLY? I never heard about that Six Feet Under intern. Wow, talk about crappy. And you're absolutely right--it honestly isn't that difficult a concept to grasp. I think it's just a human nature problem at the core: people have a tendency to believe that their way of life and their values should be everybody else's way of life and values, and if someone tries to say "actually, my position is valid too," people immediately push back, feeling invalidated. ::sigh::
That 'asexual' thing was educational and amusing. I see 'asexual' from a scientific stand point...doesn't have the social hangup in the animal world, unlike the human world.
@peterwXXX I'm not following the thrust of your comment. I'm glad you said you found "that 'asexual' thing" educational, but what "scientific standpoint" are you talking about seeing it from, and to what effect? And is there something particularly amusing to you about plushies, manga, and Sailor Moon (or their appearance in the video)?
1. I didn't "take offense." I asked you what you meant, because normally people don't point out stuff in the background and then say "that's amusing" without context. I was asking for context.
2. "Asexual" is associated with non-sexual reproduction in a scientific context. It'd be absurd for anyone to think humans were trying to apply "asexual" to be understood as applied to our reproduction. In science as well as everywhere else, context matters . . .
. . . so I don't see how "well I'm into science, so asexual can't be applied any other way" makes sense here. We're clearly talking about orientation, not reproduction.
3. I don't see the relevance in you pointing out that awareness will take time for us. I'm aware of this, but this whole "well guess what?" phrasing of your suggests I'm being unreasonable somehow. Are you arguing with an argument I didn't make?
@swankivy I'm trying to say... if you could free your interpretation ...is 'asexual' is something very new to my experience. Are you able to accept that line of thinking? It's... anthropological or biological or sociological. It's not a slight nor insult.
You're acting well overly defensive and you may have legitimate reason to; but, I'm not your enemy.
Again, is there anyway I can convey my sincerity to you over text? No, i'm stuck with what I got and you're stuck with misinterpreting.
@peterwXXX You really don't need to keep trying to find someone to blame for why I didn't understand the first comment you made. I said your comment was vague and asked questions to understand it, but you've decided I must be defensive and "misinterpreting" because I asked for more information. I did not make an assumption about what you meant. As for "asexual's" meaning, apply it as an orientation, and the problem of "this is new to me" goes away for all subsequent interactions. All fixed!
4. I didn't ask you if you knew any asexuals, so factoids about the one you know seem irrelevant. Why would you start with "yes" as if I had suggested you must not know any asexuals?
Look at my comment. I asked for clarification from you. Please avoid being vague if you want people to understand what you're talking about, though the character limit might be limiting your communication. This "the world is a nail" b.s. suggests my asking you to clarify constitutes attacking you.
I'm sure you're not exposed to people like me. Personally, I find the world's diversity, rather enriching. This diversity does include LBGT and asexual/non-sexual.
How can I communicate my sincerity through text? I can't. We, you and I, have to deal with it...not able to convey sincerity.
If I were anti-non-heterosexual, would I not go on a rampage and use derogatory remarks? I been to enough cons (and anime cons) to know that there is a diverse community.
@peterwXXX I don't know what any of this has to do with me. I certainly hope you weren't planning on rampaging using derogatory remarks, and I don't see the purpose of rambling about your sincerity--as if I questioned it?--nor do I see your point in suggesting I must have thought you were "anti-non-heterosexual" when I asked you to clarify your comment.
@swankivy Allow me to reply to the over looked question "And is there something particularly amusing to you about plushies, manga, and Sailor Moon..."
I have my AnimeCon91 badge somewhere (my first trip alone to anywhere), been to AnimeExpo92, cosplayed at both. Been to the first Katsu, Otakon, ACen, AWA, Animazement...Claims of my legit Otakuness.
So, yes. Plushies, manga and Sailor Moon do amuse me as I collect my manga and artbooks. I don't do plushies since I don't have room.
@peterwXXX Again, I don't need proof of what you're interested in and I wasn't questioning your integrity. I wanted to know why you essentially pointed at things I own and said "hahaha." When I asked for context by basically saying "what's so funny?" a straight answer is all I needed.
@KuraikoLee Haha, yeah. I have the sheets too. Though I think my bed had Blue's Clues sheets on it when I took this video, but you couldn't see them because of the top blanket.
@KuraikoLee Haha, yeah. I have the sheets too. Though I think my bed had Blue's Clues sheets on it when I took this video, but you couldn't see them because of the top blanket.
The best bit about this video is seeing how many different people out there are also asexuals. What would you know, but some of us are actually pretty cool... might have to start watching more vids...
@Sapphonouveau Yeah, I thought that was awesome! Was happy there were so many people who volunteered for the project, but also that they were people of all ages, races, genders, and walks of life! I wasn't deliberately looking for a cross-section or anything--I accepted all submissions--but I was pleased with the rainbow turnout because it helps showcase that people of all types can be asexual and makes us as a group more relatable, I think.
Really good Video! :) Everyone involed in it did such a great Job! :)
But I want to say, that not *everything* said in this (or similar) Video(s) will offend or upset *every* Asexual! (In my Opinion) Asexuals are also Individuals!
And some of the Questions / Things in this Video sound (at least) to me like the Person that asks such Questions (or saying such Things) is for the first Time in its Life confronted with something that Person never thought about before. And Things like this are not always easy to accept!
But because of the Reason that Asexuals are (also) Individuals it is possibly much more difficult to *not* offend an Asexual.. Because the Situation is so "new" to the(Not-)Asexuals..
@DasEnde2006 Yep--I think people should try to learn to be sensitive and empathetic when dealing with new concepts in general. With asexuality, people usually are predisposed to disbelieve in its existence, and that makes their questions sound like requests for the asexual to stop being unreasonable. I also have an article published called "How to Be an Asexual Ally" which goes into some detail about what sorts of responses we'd like to receive.
@DasEnde2006 Yep, that is why I said at the end "If you're curious about why some asexuals find these statements and questions ignorant or unhelpful, please check out the explanations article." It goes into more detail about why they're offensive and in what situations they might not be, and what the difference is between asking an inoffensive question and asking one that's dismissive or condescending.
@TalysAlankil Yeah, I wish all my sound quality had been nicer, but since I had 16 different people with 16 different types of recording equipment and not all of it was super clear. If you turn on the closed captions on the video, that might help; all my videos have closed captions.
I'm glad to see another video from you ^^! It seems like it's been awhile since something from you popped up in my subscription list ^^.
If someone can't understand why these things are offensive, I think some sensitivity training is in order. The more glib they are about it, the more painful too, as if things like that can roll so easily off the tongue -.-.
@snowym12 Glad you felt it was worth waiting for. :) I've been pretty busy with writing projects, which stepped in front of video projects.
Some of the questions/comments in the video aren't offensive to express when done so in the right context, of course, but yeah, the automatic knee-jerk condescension and invasive questions need to be smacked down.
Hahaha this was awesome! I'm already arguing about 'pick a better name, not asexuality which means asexual reproduction' on my video. I often wonder when people say things like this, they're just trolling.
This is the perfect vid to link in these situations.
@nervousneuron Oh man, on a comment further down I came up with a really good answer to that crap. "Asexual" can apply to "orientation" OR "reproduction." It's absurd to think we're claiming to be able to reproduce asexually, so they should know what we mean. And if they say context is irrelevant? If I say I'm tall, am I going to get accused of suggesting I'm a cup of coffee since "tall" is a drink size available at Starbucks?
@trinitysid Yeah. Basically that's what I refer to as "sexuality is like VAMPIRISM!" Some people actually believe you have to be led into sexuality and be "bitten" in order to realize you want to do it. What's odd is presumably every one of them had been through that period of life where they realized they were sexually attracted to others, and that they didn't have to have a switch flipped by a partner. ::sigh::
@swankivy HA! That's an interesting way of looking at it!
Well, while they may be frustrating I like to see those comments as something that help me appreciate when someone actually understands. So that's something... anyway, fun video! Honestly some of the stuff in there runs through my mind from time to time without anyone telling me in the first place, and seeing others are frustrated with it help me remember it's alright. A bit weird, I know... but still, thank you and all the people in it!
@theHouseCat Aw, sorry! I posted the call for submissions on LJ's asexuality group, AVEN, and some Facebook asexuality groups. Sorry you didn't run into it. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. :)
@SelenyumSe34 Hm, nobody sent that one in as far as I know, but it's definitely been discussed in the community. In the documentary movie (A)sexual, one guy who was interviewed--who's unsure whether he's asexual himself--said that he sometimes engages in S&M but it never ends in sex for him and he doesn't do it for sexual-attraction-related reasons. It's really interesting how people assume those experiences are about sex, when they don't have to be.
That's awesome. :-D
sexforyoumrhex 2 days ago
This has been flagged as spam show
How did you organize the video?
Like how did you get them all to participate?
sexforyoumrhex 3 days ago
How did you organize the video?
Like how did you get them all to participate?
sexforyoumrhex 3 days ago
@sexforyoumrhex I posted a request on AVEN, the LiveJournal Asexuality group, and to some of my asexual friends on Facebook. They sent the videos and I edited it together.
swankivy 3 days ago
So...are all of the people in the video asexual?
sexforyoumrhex 3 days ago
@sexforyoumrhex I think so.
swankivy 3 days ago
I want to facedesk so hard
ghastdream 5 days ago
@ghastdream You and me both.
swankivy 5 days ago
Obvious troll. @ForsakenReaperr
Not worth the time.
Chamelionroses 5 days ago
@Chamelionroses Which is why I generally block people within two messages if they have nothing polite and constructive to say, but considering "you're too ugly to get laid" is one of the most common responses I hear, I don't think it's necessarily ridiculous to believe this particular one meant it. Ultimatekai below was a much more obvious troll, I think, especially the laughable bit about having talked to "countless" asexuals just looking for ONE that isn't unattractive.
swankivy 5 days ago
I laughed so much during this. In a way it's depressing because I recognize most of these... but it's just ridiculously entertaining at the same time.
whohie 6 days ago
@whohie Aw. :) Yes, it's terrible that we all hear the same things, but pointing them out and saying "this is not a response we want to hear anymore" is kind of powerful in itself, I think.
swankivy 6 days ago
Great video.
But Asexuals DO NOT MASTURBATE.
WE ARE NON-SEXUAL PEOPLE.
ONLY SEXUAL PEOPLE WILL DO SEXUAL THINGS.
tickedoffnow 1 week ago
@tickedoffnow Please read the attached info sheet, because the asexual community in general begs to differ. In case you're not willing to read what everyone else has to say on the subject, the short version is that plenty of people do not consider masturbation "a sexual behavior," and I don't think they'd appreciate you trying to exclude them from identifying as asexual when the defining factor of asexuality is not being sexually attracted to others.
swankivy 1 week ago 3
Their was like only one slightly do-able girl in that entire video. As far as I can tell the guys were ugly fucker as well. Seems more like they just cant get any to me but ....ok....
ForsakenReaperr 1 week ago
@ForsakenReaperr That's great, we appreciate knowing that you are entitled to dictate what our sexuality is based on your aesthetic taste. Do you also think trans women aren't women unless they make you horny?
swankivy 1 week ago 2
@swankivy Calm down now, I simply find it amusing that the majority of the people here calling themselves Asexuals are rather ugly. It seems that they just cant get any and asexuality is a convenient excuse. Obviously asexuality is recognized as a real thing and this is not true for all asexuals (just to be clear). As for the tranny thing I dont define a man who had fake breasts and a fake vagina surgically added to be a women regardless of their appearance but thats a whole different thing.
ForsakenReaperr 1 week ago
@ForsakenReaperr It's so funny how people like you pretend my response is hysterical just because it's a response. As for insisting that you only found one bangable chick in this video and presenting it as an objective fact, we pretty much just laugh when we hear such things, because it's common for certain ignorant types of people to believe that our sexuality is about their willingness to screw us. We don't appreciate your "concession" on the reality of asexuality, either.
swankivy 1 week ago 2
@ForsakenReaperr As for your comments on "trannies," that's hilarious too. It's common for people who completely have never listened to anyone's perspective on the transgender experience to insist that trans people "think they are" the opposite gender BECAUSE they had surgery. But if you're making an argument like that, it's clear you prefer judging ignorantly to drawing up an informed opinion. You'll research others' perspectives if you care, and if not, you'll keep doing this.
swankivy 1 week ago
Now I've seen everything lol
greenzombie2q 1 week ago
@greenzombie2q Glad we could help broaden your horizons! "lol!"
swankivy 1 week ago
It's like if someone says 'you're not really dislike apples, you were just feed with them too much when you were kid'. Or 'you don't really prefer red color over blue - it's just because you're such a hothead, researches here says many of your personality type loves red'. There are plenty of non-asexuals within schizoids, autistic guys, etc. As well as not all aces have said 'reason' to be one. And even if they do have a reason… heck, so what? it doesn't make them any less valid by default.
LoneIrbis 1 week ago
@LoneIrbis In my video "The Unassailable Asexual," I discuss some of these "other" attributes that are sometimes attached to asexuality and blamed for causing it. My message throughout is that asexuality, regardless of how it came to be someone's orientation, is not something that should be dismissed or assigned as a symptom of pathology. Different aspects of our personalities and psyches influence who we are, and that's how being human WORKS.
swankivy 1 week ago
It is what you may hear from people who know you good enough and who are aware of your personality 'unusualness' (aspergers, hormonal disfunction, various disorders, etc), and also educated enough to understand that low libido is not that rare within those groups. So they assume if you happen to claim yourself asexual in that case - it'd automatically makes you 'fake' asexual. But if you look at it this way, you can find a reason for nearly everything that makes you what you are. (last bit next)
LoneIrbis 1 week ago
@LoneIrbis I went into detail about this phenomenon in some of my other writings--like, my example was that if you were taken to see an orchestra at age 4 and since then were so inspired that you started practicing the violin and became a concert musician forever, would people point to that event and say "you don't really love music; you were just conditioned so young"? Or would they acknowledge that who we are forms around many experiences and inborn inclinations that encourage us?
swankivy 1 week ago
@swankivy yes, your example with music is even more accurate then mine :) That was exactly my point, and i'm glad to know i'm not the only one thinking this way. It's just sometimes unpleasant to realize that just about everyone i know are unable to understand this point of view. :( But oh well, not like i'm not used to not be understood hehe ^.^ Gonna check on all of your videos now :)
LoneIrbis 1 week ago
@LoneIrbis Yeah, I think you'll like the message of Unassailable Asexual because of how it lines up with what you were saying. I think the music example and the apple example are both good. I mean, someone who's fed apples as a kid could decide "okay, I'm SICK of this" and not like them in adulthood, or a kid could love apples in the future because of growing up with them. Some of how we react to what we're exposed to is related to our individual, unique takes on the world.
swankivy 1 week ago
Wow, that was a decent collection of sh*t many aces (myself included) hear a lot. To all who worked on this video, and @swankivy in particular - many thanks. :) As aromantic asexual agender (many a-'s, i know >_>) with SPD i can probably add one thing not mentioned directly (thought there were a close ones). I mean the "oh, so you have [insert whatever is "wrong" with you] - you're not real asexual, you have a REASON to be one". Not sure if i word it correctly. (see next post for more)
LoneIrbis 1 week ago
@LoneIrbis YES, this is all very important! People who have those same "reasons" occur among the non-asexual population too, so it only makes sense that some percentage of asexuals would have those traits. And no matter how the intersectionality works in your particular case, there's nothing to be gained by claiming one thing causes another and therefore something about your experience isn't "authentic."
swankivy 1 week ago
@swankivy Anyway I wanted to point out the fundamental attribution error people generally tend to make, I believe that's what you're addressing when it comes to other people's perspective on asexuality.
ernis1100 1 week ago
@ernis1100 Well, it's true that sometimes their understanding of cause and effect is backwards. We're not asexual because we're intellectual (if we're both). We're not asexual because we're ugly if we are, or because we're ill if we are, or because we're socially inept if we are. I just have a problem with automatic association of asexuality with lack of emotion, standoffish intellectualism, or superiority (along with other factors such as moral purity or strength of character).
swankivy 1 week ago
Comment removed
ernis1100 1 week ago
@ernis1100 Whatever works in your own life is great. I'm just explaining why I have to be careful about associations I make since I'm one of the faces of this movement. Since (as I said) people have certain attitudes about sex and therefore about those who don't engage in it (for whatever reason), I have to take care to avoid encouraging cause-effect relationships or associations where there aren't necessarily any. And pursuing any passion to excess does drown out other wants and needs, sure.
swankivy 1 week ago
@swankivy Oh I didn't see your previous comment there, the "anyway" wasn't directed towards it.
You're correct emotion/intellect aren't exclusive conditions, however extensive expression of one tends to suppress or use another for it's own purposes. Lastly superiority/moral purity are subjective, I'm also aware of it, never intended to associate them or apathy with asexuality, I only used my example due to the common reception and reaction on our non-visible abnormalities.
ernis1100 1 week ago
i told my friend im asexual and she automatically started trying to prove me wrong saying thats only what plants do
starting to feel like itll also show me who my real friends are
Narutorocks143 1 week ago in playlist Uploaded videos
@Narutorocks143 Interestingly, most plants reproduce sexually--there are some asexual plants, but yeah. When someone tries to dismiss asexuality as an orientation by saying that's a word we apply to non-human creatures' reproduction, I like to say "Words mean different things depending on how you use them. A tall person and a tall coffee aren't the same thing--would you tell me I must think I'm a caffeine drink if I say I'm a tall person?" We're talking about orientation, not reproduction.
swankivy 1 week ago
@Narutorocks143
hilariously enough plants aren't asexual by the biological definition either...
Asexual reproduction is a mode of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single parent, and inherit the genes of that parent only; it is reproduction which does not involve meiosis, ploidy reduction, or fertilization
plants must be fertilized. So not only is she wrong about it not being a real sexuality but she's wrong about the biological aspects to.
mugetsu44 2 days ago
If you don't live by your instincts you will be condemned, which is ironic considering how proud people are of being "Homo sapiens". The things I've heard about my apathy are pretty much the same and when I tell them something like the fact that there's an inverse correlation between emotion and intellect they just say something like "Whatever, you're just depressed and you're trying to justify it". People like rationalizations.
ernis1100 1 week ago
@ernis1100 I know what you mean. They scream about how this is "natural" and this is "how we propagate" and this is "an intrinsic part of being human," but don't stop for a moment to understand that ALL creatures who develop through evolution have existing variants. In a population that does not desperately need all of its members to reproduce in order to succeed, it doesn't make sense to marginalize and harass the members who are happier not participating.
swankivy 1 week ago
@ernis1100 I don't like to say stuff like "there's an inverse correlation between emotion and intellect," though. People tend to take such comments as elitist--and truthfully, it rubs me the wrong way too. I'm not asexual because I'm just too smart/intellectual to be interested in base compulsions like sex; my intelligence has nothing to do with my sexuality. We probably don't need any fuel for that fire since many people automatically assume asexuals are making claims of superiority.
swankivy 1 week ago
@swankivy True, It does sound elitist, but I have no intention of using it in such a context. I try to use it to explain my condition, not to claim that it's superior. Since people I say it to know my intellectually demanding lifestyle, I leave it up to them to figure it out in case I don't trigger their emotional defense reaction.
I'm not voluntarily blocking emotions due to an ideology. I'm (drastically) increasing my intellectual workload and apathy is a side effect.
ernis1100 1 week ago
@ernis1100 Bottom line is that we all pursue our passions. Those passions don't have to be sexual. There is already a tendency among humans in general to assume that anyone uninterested in the object of THEIR passion is therefore rejecting and devaluing that passion in general, not just for the self. I don't feel that "being emotional" and "being intellectual" are mutually exclusive conditions, nor do I feel that someone who isn't sexual is therefore unemotional.
swankivy 1 week ago
this video made me realize i'm asexual, or rather, that i don't have to fit into stereotypes and traditions to identify that way. you don't know how good it feels to finally have a label for myself, so thank you :3
AngelLustZombie 1 week ago
@AngelLustZombie That's wonderful. ;) Yes, some people say "it's just a word!" or "why do you need labels, be BEYOND labels!" but the problem is that things that exist have words. If we have no word to talk about it, it makes it feel like it isn't happening or doesn't exist. Having a word lends legitimacy to a situation and allows us to talk about the experience. I'm glad you found yourself in our silly video. :)
swankivy 1 week ago
I've hear most of these when I tell people I'm Asexual
AStarSifter 2 weeks ago
i consider myself pretty accepting of asexuality.... my problem is that it's so extremely different from myself that it's actually kind of hard for me to comprehend it. like.... trying to comprehend someone who never feels hunger or something? it's hard but i try! but despite being as accepting as possible i have asked CERTAIN people the "have you had your hormones checked?" thing before because i have PCOS and, to be fair, hyposexuality (rather than a!) can be a symptom of hormone imbalance.
ashoftomorrow 2 weeks ago
@ashoftomorrow Yeah. I'm sure asexuals have trouble imagining what it'd be like to be very motivated by sex, too. The important thing is that people like you and people like me be able to acknowledge that we're different--and even frankly admit that we have trouble conceptualizing each other's experience--without marginalizing each other or condescendingly ordering each other to be more like us.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@ashoftomorrow But if you have an acquaintance or friend whose situation does suggest hormone imbalance--or lack of nutrition, or glandular pathology, or biological dysfunction of some kind--and you have the kind of relationship with that person which would allow personal medical questions to be welcome and appropriate, it's not rude to discuss it. We're just tired of having strangers or well-meaning friends/family give us the knee-jerk "oh it's a medical problem!" response.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@ashoftomorrow - the trick is that you can have wonky hormones & be ace. I was diagnosed with PCOS in HS because of irregular periods but PCOS causes you to have elevated testosterone & if it's off-the-charts elevated you can get decreased libido, but if it's only a little elevated you get an increased libido. For most of my life I've had a very high libido thanks to my wonky hormones (& when they put me on pills which "fixed" my hormones it destroyed my libido until I went off of them).
AsexualSexologist 1 week ago
@ashoftomorrow so I'm always frustrated when people "blame" my being ace on my hormones. Yes, I had them checked (& have had them checked by all my doctors since HS) & yes I know they are a little wonky but I have chosen not to medicate for them because when they put me on pills and said they "fixed" me not only was I still not attracted to anyone but nothing aroused me, which I found very disconcerting. So I always cringe a little when people say that no aces have hormone imbalances - some do!
AsexualSexologist 1 week ago
@ashoftomorrow In the same breath, I know people who had off-the-charts-hormone-issues which are the cause of their lack of interest in sex - but they all seem to be bothered by their lack of interest because they remember what it felt like to be attracted to someone & to be interested in sex (just like when they "fixed" my hormones I remembered what it felt like to be able to get aroused - even if it wasn't at the thought of intercourse) where as I think most aces didn't ever have that feeling.
AsexualSexologist 1 week ago
You did forget one that I hear all the time:
"Asexual? Doesn't that mean you can reproduce by yourself or something?"
StygianDawn 2 weeks ago 10
@StygianDawn Nah, I didn't "forget" any of them--there are probably literally dozens I didn't do!--but I think "I've never heard of that except in plants" is in the same category, so I didn't repeat it, and went into more detail on the info sheet about single-celled creatures reproducing and whatnot. I hate the amoeba joke. . . .
swankivy 2 weeks ago
You guys rock.
aliarends 2 weeks ago
@aliarends :) We appreciate it.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T BE ASEXUAL WITH THE FANFICTION YOU WRITE!!! That sounds like my friend!
NaomiLawlietJr 2 weeks ago
@NaomiLawlietJr Heh, hilarious. . . .
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@swankivy I love this video actually. It's really accurate. Most of this has been said to me at one time or another. You guys rock.
NaomiLawlietJr 2 weeks ago
@NaomiLawlietJr Thanks. :) As sad as it is that we all have these experiences, it's somewhat comforting to know that other people have to deal with the same crap, huh?
swankivy 2 weeks ago
wtf how old is this shit!?
BCCouches 2 weeks ago
@BCCouches . . . "How old"? You can see the upload date on this--it's that old.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
this is amazing, i apologize to all of you for being so ignorant about asexuality
barliluv 2 weeks ago
@barliluv Well, ignorance is best combated by education, and I have absolutely no complaints if someone who was ignorant of the orientation but open to learning about it takes it upon themselves to do so! It's not a crime to be ignorant, but it's borderline criminal to insist on staying that way despite alternatives.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I'm sorry, I just don't believe asexuality is a real thing. I think it's an excuse for being too repulsive for anyone to want to have sex with you.
ultimatekai 2 weeks ago
@ultimatekai I'm sorry, I just don't believe being this trollish is a real thing. I think it's an excuse for being too close-minded for anyone to want to bother addressing you.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@swankivy The fact that you blocked me makes YOU the close-minded one. You can't even take someone's criticism or listen to someone else's point of view on the subject! I have listened to countless people on the subject of asexuality and nothing has ever convinced me.
If it's not just an excuse for ugly people, then why are there NO attractive, young, beautiful women that are asexual? Every asexual I have ever encountered is fat, ugly, and undesirable. Because it's just an excuse. (c)
fiveawesomekais 2 weeks ago
@fiveawesomekais Wrong. Cutting off the same ignorant comments I've had to answer over and over--including in the video you claim to have watched--is not being "close-minded." Tell a gay person they're gay because they're just too repulsive to the opposite sex and see if they feel compelled to "respect" your opinion. You're being dismissive, and calling everyone in the video you just watched "fat, ugly, and undesirable." It's not an opinion we need to hear again.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@fiveawesomekais Ok so I guess I am now fat, ugly, and undesirable. Even if all that was true, so what? I still don't feel sexual attraction and if you refuse to accept that fact, well then, don't be a dick and move along instead of insulting an entire community. Also I would contend there were several young, beautiful women in this very video. With that aside, if your belief is that all of us are these things, then you are welcome to, but I have to express that I find your logic fallacious.
TungstenEdge 2 weeks ago
@TungstenEdge I like your response here (though of course this person can't reply on this account because I blocked, twice). I went into this a bit in my Unassailable Asexual videos. Some of any population, including asexuals, is probably going to be below average in normative attractiveness. That doesn't mean they're not asexual. And of course it's dismissive to assume the only reason to not get sex is to not be ABLE to get it.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@TungstenEdge I also find it kinda hilarious that this commenter acts like a serious, unbiased effort was undertaken to interview and objectively evaluate asexuals in the hopes of finding one, just ONE shining example of someone who wasn't too fugly to fuck. And of course it's our obligation to CONVINCE unbelievers that we aren't full of crap; until we CONVINCE them, well, how can they be expected to treat us with the respect and courtesy normally due a human being, right?
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@swankivy (c) And no, I'm not trolling. This is what I truly believe. 100 percent.
fiveawesomekais 2 weeks ago
@fiveawesomekais And if that is your oh-so-important "omg you're squashing my free speech" opinion, feel free to keep it, or perhaps you'll educate yourself. Either way, I don't need yet another person saying "you're too ugly to get laid" as a way of dismissing my and every other asexual's orientation. Deal with it, or don't, but seriously, you are not giving us something to think about.
swankivy 2 weeks ago
@ultimatekai Just commenting again to clarify my last comment. I wasn't trying to demean you or dismiss your opinion, which I can see easily being inferred due to lack of tone in text. I just thought it did more harm than good to express your opinion here and that I disagree with you classification of all Asexual as "Undesirable". Anyways, I hope you don't completely close yourself off to future arguments/examples of Asexuality. I apologize if I seemed overtly aggressive.
TungstenEdge 2 weeks ago
When I was in college, my roommate was a thirty year old virgin who got some odd responses from my fellow dorm residents. I think about it sometimes because I am now a 39 year old virgin. I think I just haven't found the right guy but who knows. (I hope that any ways.)
rainbowheartlove1 3 weeks ago
@rainbowheartlove1 Well, that's cool . . . if you're interested in someone, go for it, and if not, it doesn't mean you're broken. I think that's one of the things asexual people have to deal with that's most frustrating--that if we don't do what other people want us to do, there's something inherently wrong with us. But even for non-asexual people who just aren't conforming to the norm in their relationships, it doesn't mean something has to be wrong with you. As long as you're happy. :)
swankivy 3 weeks ago
I know I've already commented, but I feel I need to correct you on something being asexual myself after having read your info sheet on "shit people say to asexuals." The asexual orientation actually has a double meaning... While, yes, you are correct that one of the meanings is to not be sexually attracted to anyone, the other is to simply not be interested in sex. So yes, it is possible for an asexual to be straight or gay, or even bisexual, by default...
JediTat 3 weeks ago
For example, if I were to become interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, whether it be sexual or nonsexual, I would strongly prefer it be with a guy, not a girl. I do experience physical attraction on some level to a select few of men, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them... I can't help how I feel about sex anymore than you can, so I do feel justified and validated with identifying myself as asexual. Celibacy is a choice, my feelings are not.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
@JediTat As for your attractions, if your physical attractions aren't the kind of physical attractions that make you want to have sex, that's solidly within the asexual sphere; plenty of asexual people feel interested in being close to another person (and sometimes it's gender-specific). There're plenty of gray areas, and behaviors, that asexuals experience without invalidating their asexuality, and I'm not seeing a contradiction in terms with what you outlined here.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@JediTat I don't follow you on how that's a correction. People can be asexual and not be interested in sex, or be sexual and not be interested in sex at any given time, but the interest in sex itself isn't part of orientation. Sex is a behavior. I'm not seeing how it would be a contradiction for an asexual to say they're straight or gay, either--many asexuals call themselves straight or gay or bi or pan based on romantic attraction.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy I realize that people who are sexual can not necessarily be interested in the behavior or act of sex... Not everyone who is sexual is a sexual deviant or considers sex to be a top priority. Everyone views sex differently. It's more than just a behavior, it's a social concept. Some view it as simply an act of lust, which is why some can do it so casually, while others view it as an act that you only do when you're in love with someone.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
@JediTat People have tons of different ways of looking at sex, sure. Their umbrella attitudes toward it are shaped by their attitudes and attractions and experiences in all things. I sure HOPE no one thinks everyone who's sexual is a sexual deviant or considers it a top priority, though those who do think it's central to life like to say "people who say it isn't are lying." (Which is ridiculous.) Don't know why so many feel compelled to tell other people what it's proper for them to feel.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy So the thing that I don't get, is how can someone not have any sexual attraction for anyone, but be interested in having sex at the same time? It's the variable that what it comes down to. The two and two doesn't go together like someone who is sexual not considering sex to be important.
I don't have any romantic interests, but I do experience physical attraction from time to time. I just draw the line where sex is concerned.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
@JediTat Some asexual people who have enjoyed sex itself describe it like this: they wouldn't express their love and romantic attraction for someone by consummating it with sex if it were based entirely on their own inclination, but as an act that the other person finds compelling and as an act that celebrates closeness and as an act that they can get physical pleasure from, some asexuals can still engage in it and like it. Here are some interesting stats:
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@JediTat In a recent census, 17% of asexuals said they'd be willing to have regular sex in a relationship; 6.9% said they enjoy having sex; 8.2% said they were sexually active. This group includes demisexuals and gray-asexuals. I also think people who experience sexual attraction can say "I'm attracted to people sexually, but not interested in performing the deed"--for any reason, including religious beliefs, or just finding the issues (physical/emotion) that go along with it too much trouble.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy Well the 6.9% baffle me. lol. I have been sexually active once upon a time... but I never enjoyed sex and I don't think I ever will. I guess that might just make me nonsexual, but I identify myself as asexual for the reason that physical attraction and sexual attraction doesn't go hand in hand for me. I can feel physically attraction to someone, but it never goes beyond that.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
@JediTat Yeah, I wouldn't be able to enjoy sex either, I don't think--I didn't enjoy anything close to it that boys talked me into, and haven't ever had any inclinations that way to initiate anything myself. I used to call myself "nonsexual" before there was an asexual community, but started using the term once it became attached to the awareness efforts, and yes, physical attraction that isn't sexual attraction is normal for a romantic asexual person.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
I don't get how most people can assume that being asexual means you've never at one point in your life been sexually active... Yes, there are times when I wish I can take all of it back, but then there would always be that "what if" in the back of my mind if I had never had sex or engaged in sexual foreplay at all... So I do kind of get the question, "how do you know if you've never tried it?" The only thing that bothers me about that question is the assumption behind it that I'm a virgin.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
I detest ignorance in general, but at the same time I like being about to get along with people as much as possible so that I can have something called a social life, so I don't usually bring up the fact that I'm asexual unless or until it becomes necessary. Just like I don't think it's necessary to let everyone know that I'm also an atheist and a vegetarian. These things are only a part of who I am, they don't make up the whole picture.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
@JediTat Yep, how much you talk about it and how much you share about yourself is up to you. If it's none of people's business, it's none of people's business. Of course, being asexual shouldn't be something that causes conversations to screech to a halt and shunning to happen, so I hope you're not saying bringing these things up would ruin you social life. I don't look for opportunities to bring it up, but it does come up; I have lots of friends who know and they don't give me crap.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@JediTat Yeah, there's no reason to assume an asexual hasn't had sex, just like some gay people have had straight sex "just to make sure." We're usually raised to think that something's wrong if we're not straight, so if we're not the "default," we're made to feel like we should try to be before we "give up" and be something else. I don't think you have to have sex to know whether you want to do it, any more than straight people have to have gay sex to know they don't want it.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
XD
I cannot get enough of the "you'll grow out of it" part, haha! It's so funny. :-D
sexforyoumrhex 3 weeks ago
@sexforyoumrhex Yep, quite a few people said "you'll grow out of it." Tends to be something younger asexuals hear. Until they're old enough that people start telling them it's normal for older people to stop wanting sex. :D (You can't win!)
swankivy 3 weeks ago
CAKE!
And oh, lawd, yes, I have had to deal with that rubbish far too often myself.
Fishbowlery 3 weeks ago
great video :)
lothsdrow 3 weeks ago
That was brilliant!! It's ridiculous how so many people still can't understand asexuality.
EternityRose 3 weeks ago
@EternityRose Yeah. I don't care if people are curious if they've never heard of it before, and I'm more than fine with answering questions, but people need to learn a) how to educate THEMSELVES on things if they might be sensitive subjects, and b) how to NOT treat people like they're ridiculous, lying, or obligated to try to be sexual before identifying as asexual. Some good old fashioned respect is sorely needed.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
this is brilliant. thank you for creating this!
Clarastarletta 3 weeks ago
@Clarastarletta Glad you liked, yay!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
I love this. :D You guys all did so well, SwankIVY I love the Sailor Moon Pillow <3
XxKatelProductionsxX 3 weeks ago
@XxKatelProductionsxX Thanks hehee!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
How can you be asexual but have a totally pervy sense of humor and write erotic literature? Someone told me I couldn't be asexual because of those two things and I didn't know how to respond.
LifeInNewJersey 3 weeks ago
@LifeInNewJersey The attached info sheet in the video description might help elaborate on how to answer that question. But the short answer is that joking about sex and writing about sex isn't the same thing as doing sex or wanting to do sex. Saying you "can't" do those things and be asexual is like saying you "can't" write about a guy being a carpenter if you don't actually want to be a carpenter.
swankivy 3 weeks ago 5
@LifeInNewJersey I've written somewhat erotic literature from time to time myself, and I've had someone ask me this question once... My response was, "Asexual does not equal to never having been sexual activity or not understanding sex and intimacy. I understand it, I just have no need or interest for it." At at least it was somewhere along those lines.
JediTat 3 weeks ago
OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.
HezaaZee 3 weeks ago
@HezaaZee Thanks!!!!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy The only things I would add would be things specific to trans aces. Maybe I should make a Shit People Say to Trans Aces video.
HezaaZee 3 weeks ago
@HezaaZee Yeah, only one of the gender-related suggestions I had in the list for contributors got used, which was "if you're not sure about your gender identity, you can't be sure about your sexual orientation," which is both a transphobic and acephobic statement since trans people aren't normally "not sure" about their gender. There are some great trans-related videos in the "shit people say" genre here on YouTube, and I'm sure there would be a lot of intersectionality to what trans aces hear!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
God, do I ever know the "it's just a phase" and the "you'll find SOMEONE, SOMEDAY" comment. From my parents. Neither of them believe me, and they roll their eyes when I bring it up.
Luxandran 3 weeks ago
@Luxandran Oh, well the fun thing is, once you get old enough to hear "you'll outgrow it" and "this is a phase" and "one day you'll mature," that's when it pretty much turns right around and people treat you like you're saying you're asexual because you're too old to be attractive or your libido must've waned because of your age. Excellent!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
I'm embarrassed to admit I've wondered about but never asked a few of those questions. Thanks for the video! =)
brownbearclan 3 weeks ago
@brownbearclan It's not wrong at all to wonder . . . that's part of the reason I made the attached explanation file, so people could understand why and in what contexts we tend not to like certain comments and questions. The problem, I think, is that sometimes people ask the questions either condescendingly ("do you want kids?" vs. "DON'T YOU WANT KIDS??") or invasively (no matter how curious you are, you shouldn't assume it's okay to ask strangers if they masturbate). Ya know. :)
swankivy 3 weeks ago
It's great that there are asexual people in the world - but everyone needs affection and there's a problem when seeking that affection as a partner from someone who has sexual desires.People should be more acceptant of asexuals so that they can be open about it and not be a tease.They can also have sex but not enjoy it and avoid it as much as possible so the deceitefull romantic relationship can go on to everyone's loss.So please do make your voices heard so we know what not to expect from you
ThoronRayan 3 weeks ago
@ThoronRayan I don't think there's any widespread problem with asexual people deceiving significant others or trying to trap people in sexless relationships against their will, though I'm sure there are asexuals who don't know they're asexual and are trying to figure out why they can't like people sexually. That's not "deceitful." Sure, awareness is key, but sexually incompatible relationships can work; compromise is necessary in all aspects of a relationship. It's up to the individuals.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
They should really start teaching people about this in school maybe health class or something, there has to be more ways to educate the mass media. It's really not fair that anyone should have to constantly explain themselves when it's just a matter of actually taking the time to learn and listen. The way the media portrays asexuals doesn't help either, I remember on 6 feet under they had an asexual intern they depicted as unstable, they even went as far to say that all of them are actually gay.
RightMeow69 3 weeks ago 7
@RightMeow69 SERIOUSLY? I never heard about that Six Feet Under intern. Wow, talk about crappy. And you're absolutely right--it honestly isn't that difficult a concept to grasp. I think it's just a human nature problem at the core: people have a tendency to believe that their way of life and their values should be everybody else's way of life and values, and if someone tries to say "actually, my position is valid too," people immediately push back, feeling invalidated. ::sigh::
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Hahahaha.... manga, Sailor Moon, Plushies... amusing.
That 'asexual' thing was educational and amusing. I see 'asexual' from a scientific stand point...doesn't have the social hangup in the animal world, unlike the human world.
peterwXXX 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX I'm not following the thrust of your comment. I'm glad you said you found "that 'asexual' thing" educational, but what "scientific standpoint" are you talking about seeing it from, and to what effect? And is there something particularly amusing to you about plushies, manga, and Sailor Moon (or their appearance in the video)?
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy
1, life always amuse me, that you should not take offense to. By "amuse", I mean I grow more enlighten.
2, "for hammers, the world is a nail". For me, being into science, 'asexual' is associated with single cell organism. try to deny that one.
3, It took ages for LGBT to come the current level of 'visibility'. Non-sexual, guess what? It will take time for you, too.
4, Yes, I know of a non-sexual/asexual. She's only into making her comic, even ignoring her temp Bfriend then dumping him.
peterwXXX 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX
1. I didn't "take offense." I asked you what you meant, because normally people don't point out stuff in the background and then say "that's amusing" without context. I was asking for context.
2. "Asexual" is associated with non-sexual reproduction in a scientific context. It'd be absurd for anyone to think humans were trying to apply "asexual" to be understood as applied to our reproduction. In science as well as everywhere else, context matters . . .
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX
. . . so I don't see how "well I'm into science, so asexual can't be applied any other way" makes sense here. We're clearly talking about orientation, not reproduction.
3. I don't see the relevance in you pointing out that awareness will take time for us. I'm aware of this, but this whole "well guess what?" phrasing of your suggests I'm being unreasonable somehow. Are you arguing with an argument I didn't make?
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy I'm trying to say... if you could free your interpretation ...is 'asexual' is something very new to my experience. Are you able to accept that line of thinking? It's... anthropological or biological or sociological. It's not a slight nor insult.
You're acting well overly defensive and you may have legitimate reason to; but, I'm not your enemy.
Again, is there anyway I can convey my sincerity to you over text? No, i'm stuck with what I got and you're stuck with misinterpreting.
peterwXXX 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX You really don't need to keep trying to find someone to blame for why I didn't understand the first comment you made. I said your comment was vague and asked questions to understand it, but you've decided I must be defensive and "misinterpreting" because I asked for more information. I did not make an assumption about what you meant. As for "asexual's" meaning, apply it as an orientation, and the problem of "this is new to me" goes away for all subsequent interactions. All fixed!
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX
4. I didn't ask you if you knew any asexuals, so factoids about the one you know seem irrelevant. Why would you start with "yes" as if I had suggested you must not know any asexuals?
Look at my comment. I asked for clarification from you. Please avoid being vague if you want people to understand what you're talking about, though the character limit might be limiting your communication. This "the world is a nail" b.s. suggests my asking you to clarify constitutes attacking you.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy Last few thoughts...
I'm sure you're not exposed to people like me. Personally, I find the world's diversity, rather enriching. This diversity does include LBGT and asexual/non-sexual.
How can I communicate my sincerity through text? I can't. We, you and I, have to deal with it...not able to convey sincerity.
If I were anti-non-heterosexual, would I not go on a rampage and use derogatory remarks? I been to enough cons (and anime cons) to know that there is a diverse community.
peterwXXX 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX I don't know what any of this has to do with me. I certainly hope you weren't planning on rampaging using derogatory remarks, and I don't see the purpose of rambling about your sincerity--as if I questioned it?--nor do I see your point in suggesting I must have thought you were "anti-non-heterosexual" when I asked you to clarify your comment.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy Allow me to reply to the over looked question "And is there something particularly amusing to you about plushies, manga, and Sailor Moon..."
I have my AnimeCon91 badge somewhere (my first trip alone to anywhere), been to AnimeExpo92, cosplayed at both. Been to the first Katsu, Otakon, ACen, AWA, Animazement...Claims of my legit Otakuness.
So, yes. Plushies, manga and Sailor Moon do amuse me as I collect my manga and artbooks. I don't do plushies since I don't have room.
peterwXXX 3 weeks ago
@peterwXXX Again, I don't need proof of what you're interested in and I wasn't questioning your integrity. I wanted to know why you essentially pointed at things I own and said "hahaha." When I asked for context by basically saying "what's so funny?" a straight answer is all I needed.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
JediTat 3 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@peterwXXX Are you trying to be sarcastic? If so, I'm a little offended...
JediTat 3 weeks ago
you have a usagi pillow!!! i love you <3 and awesome video! heard alot of this
KuraikoLee 3 weeks ago
@KuraikoLee Haha, yeah. I have the sheets too. Though I think my bed had Blue's Clues sheets on it when I took this video, but you couldn't see them because of the top blanket.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@KuraikoLee Haha, yeah. I have the sheets too. Though I think my bed had Blue's Clues sheets on it when I took this video, but you couldn't see them because of the top blanket.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
The best bit about this video is seeing how many different people out there are also asexuals. What would you know, but some of us are actually pretty cool... might have to start watching more vids...
Sapphonouveau 3 weeks ago
@Sapphonouveau Yeah, I thought that was awesome! Was happy there were so many people who volunteered for the project, but also that they were people of all ages, races, genders, and walks of life! I wasn't deliberately looking for a cross-section or anything--I accepted all submissions--but I was pleased with the rainbow turnout because it helps showcase that people of all types can be asexual and makes us as a group more relatable, I think.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Part1:
Really good Video! :) Everyone involed in it did such a great Job! :)
But I want to say, that not *everything* said in this (or similar) Video(s) will offend or upset *every* Asexual! (In my Opinion) Asexuals are also Individuals!
DasEnde2006 3 weeks ago
@DasEnde2006
Part2:
And some of the Questions / Things in this Video sound (at least) to me like the Person that asks such Questions (or saying such Things) is for the first Time in its Life confronted with something that Person never thought about before. And Things like this are not always easy to accept!
But because of the Reason that Asexuals are (also) Individuals it is possibly much more difficult to *not* offend an Asexual.. Because the Situation is so "new" to the(Not-)Asexuals..
DasEnde2006 3 weeks ago
@DasEnde2006 Yep--I think people should try to learn to be sensitive and empathetic when dealing with new concepts in general. With asexuality, people usually are predisposed to disbelieve in its existence, and that makes their questions sound like requests for the asexual to stop being unreasonable. I also have an article published called "How to Be an Asexual Ally" which goes into some detail about what sorts of responses we'd like to receive.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@DasEnde2006 Yep, that is why I said at the end "If you're curious about why some asexuals find these statements and questions ignorant or unhelpful, please check out the explanations article." It goes into more detail about why they're offensive and in what situations they might not be, and what the difference is between asking an inoffensive question and asking one that's dismissive or condescending.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy
Thank You!
Very informative! The Explanations Article is great! :)
And the other Article is helpful too! :)
DasEnde2006 3 weeks ago
Sometimes I can't quite hear what they say. But this video's awesome.
TalysAlankil 3 weeks ago
@TalysAlankil Yeah, I wish all my sound quality had been nicer, but since I had 16 different people with 16 different types of recording equipment and not all of it was super clear. If you turn on the closed captions on the video, that might help; all my videos have closed captions.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
I'm glad to see another video from you ^^! It seems like it's been awhile since something from you popped up in my subscription list ^^.
If someone can't understand why these things are offensive, I think some sensitivity training is in order. The more glib they are about it, the more painful too, as if things like that can roll so easily off the tongue -.-.
snowym12 3 weeks ago
@snowym12 Glad you felt it was worth waiting for. :) I've been pretty busy with writing projects, which stepped in front of video projects.
Some of the questions/comments in the video aren't offensive to express when done so in the right context, of course, but yeah, the automatic knee-jerk condescension and invasive questions need to be smacked down.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
You're not dead :D
WebHz 3 weeks ago
@WebHz Um, indeed I am not?
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Hahaha this was awesome! I'm already arguing about 'pick a better name, not asexuality which means asexual reproduction' on my video. I often wonder when people say things like this, they're just trolling.
This is the perfect vid to link in these situations.
nervousneuron 3 weeks ago
@nervousneuron Oh man, on a comment further down I came up with a really good answer to that crap. "Asexual" can apply to "orientation" OR "reproduction." It's absurd to think we're claiming to be able to reproduce asexually, so they should know what we mean. And if they say context is irrelevant? If I say I'm tall, am I going to get accused of suggesting I'm a cup of coffee since "tall" is a drink size available at Starbucks?
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Now I'm curious...
One day my grandmother was making up excuses about why I'm asexual. The conversation ended as
"Can't it be possible I was just born this way?"
"Well, yes, but I believe you yourself are asexual because no one has taken you that far before you reached this point in your life."
...Has anyone else gotten that?
trinitysid 3 weeks ago
@trinitysid Yeah. Basically that's what I refer to as "sexuality is like VAMPIRISM!" Some people actually believe you have to be led into sexuality and be "bitten" in order to realize you want to do it. What's odd is presumably every one of them had been through that period of life where they realized they were sexually attracted to others, and that they didn't have to have a switch flipped by a partner. ::sigh::
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy HA! That's an interesting way of looking at it!
Well, while they may be frustrating I like to see those comments as something that help me appreciate when someone actually understands. So that's something... anyway, fun video! Honestly some of the stuff in there runs through my mind from time to time without anyone telling me in the first place, and seeing others are frustrated with it help me remember it's alright. A bit weird, I know... but still, thank you and all the people in it!
trinitysid 3 weeks ago
Damn, if I'd known about this I so would have volunteered to contribute!
theHouseCat 3 weeks ago
@theHouseCat Aw, sorry! I posted the call for submissions on LJ's asexuality group, AVEN, and some Facebook asexuality groups. Sorry you didn't run into it. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. :)
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Hee, it was fun to take part! Ampersandstringquartet, I maintain that we are long-lost twins.
I posted this on my tumblr and it's got 81 notes so far, btw :D
gaarakamaru 3 weeks ago
@gaarakamaru Aw, cool. Maybe you guys are secretly the same person! I wanna see the notes, heh. I'm not on Tumblr.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@swankivy I'll email you a link to the post.
gaarakamaru 3 weeks ago
Damn i missed out
SassiTheKitty 3 weeks ago
:D Really nice job!!! And the explanations article was good too!
Muffin7Dembski 3 weeks ago
@Muffin7Dembski YAY, thank you! I had fun making it. Even though I'm a video editing amateur, I'm getting to really like fiddling with these things.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
Is "But you're kinky ! You can't be asexual !" on there ? I can't remember seeing it.
Great, hilarious video. And as usual, thank you for providing a transcript/subtitles !
SelenyumSe34 3 weeks ago
@SelenyumSe34 Hm, nobody sent that one in as far as I know, but it's definitely been discussed in the community. In the documentary movie (A)sexual, one guy who was interviewed--who's unsure whether he's asexual himself--said that he sometimes engages in S&M but it never ends in sex for him and he doesn't do it for sexual-attraction-related reasons. It's really interesting how people assume those experiences are about sex, when they don't have to be.
swankivy 3 weeks ago
@SelenyumSe34 OMG, how could I have forgotten to submit one of those!! I get that all the time! High Five for Kinky Aces!
AsexualSexologist 3 weeks ago
no no no, what you really need is a better camera.