Added: 1 month ago
From: laidbaqq
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  • You are cute!

  • Sorry you went through such a shitty situation. Sounds like your ex-boyfriend did not accept your being transgender or if he did, he damn sure didn't show it. My thing is, if you don't accept who someone is fully, why even waste your time? Why waste their time? People make things more complicated than they need to be, I swear.

    Would you say it's easier dating men or women as a transguy?

  • @speakl0uder boyfriend? He never made it to that point! He insisted that he was cool with it, got it and would work to be better at understanding. But every time he messed up, he could not accept my criticism of the situation. IDK why bother.

    I cannot say. I think it depends more on the person than their gender.

  • So your also gay ? I'm confused

  • @TheyyCallMeIce I AM NOT GAY. What is so unusual about being a gay man?

  • @laidbaqq Nothing At All , i Was Just Wondering

  • @laidbaqq Theres nothing being a gay man :) But hm, were you dating women when you were one yourself? Just trying to understand here, no mean do be disrespectful, you're too cute for that :)

  • @chumpalounka I know that there is nothing wrong with it. I put it in caps to be sure it was noticed so it wont continue to be asked. Yes, I did live as a lesbian for quite some time.

  • @laidbaqq Thank you so much for responding, preciate that a lot! Well, im glad to see youre so comfortable in your skin. You're an inspiration for a lot of people. Now I wonder: Do you think sexual orientation is a choice? U were a ''lesbian'' as a woman now youre ''gay'' as a man. It's the same orientation I know, but, it's not the same sex tho... So, what made you change preferences? Do you identify as bi? Help me get over my curiosity :) Thanks boo boo.

  • @chumpalounka I cannot say, really. I think some people are more open to the possibilities but choose to act on certain desires instead. I am not gay, I am pansexual. A persons gender & sex are of no great importance to me. I didn't so much as 'change' preferences as I simply found the right words, addressed the issues I had and allowed myself to be more open. Dating men as a woman was bothersome for me due to insecurities and discomforts.

  • Thank you so much for making this video. :] It has helped me out a lot more than you will ever know.

  • Don't know how I found yr vids, but U R not Trans(whatever that is) Trans is a modern construct, not who/what one is, and certainly not gender ID. U R a man if u have male in & external repro. organs, how u feel in yr head not withstanding. Love who U love, no judgement, but at end of day, U R still male. Just make sure if u do ever date "straight" women let them know who u r in head and heart. No surprises please! Wishing u peace & the love u long for.

    J.Eastmond's mom

  • @jelanieastmond1 Funny, that is the subject of my next video and why I do not TRULY identify with the term trans/ftm. In relation to this modern construct, I do not have 'male' organs. Despite that, I am still a man. The notion that such organs determines ones gender is also construct. They are parts with specific functions, nothing more.

    I dislike surprises, so of course she will know me. I would hope anyone dating any person knows entirely who they are committing themselves to.

  • @jelanieastmond1 You commented on this without watching any of his other videos didn't you? Watch the other videos and please recognize how stupid you came across in this comment. PS genitals do not define gender.

  • wow this is deep right here. because here u are as a transmen that want date dudes but yeah in "normal world" that weird but yet it not it what u like u want be a male so u became one and u like dude so u date dude. just like me im a bisexual male that like stud that not common for a dude to like stud because they suppose be male version for lesbian community but yet i lke them because im bi and i like dude and girl there best of both worlds to me but yeah i do like ftm too im actually pansexual

  • @themoe85 I am pansexual too, sir. But yes, who I am and who I like are not the same matters.

  • Would you date a woman who identifies as bisexual? Curious.

  • @nubiansista100 Yes.

  • Your so sexy you have best smile ever! There is someone for everyone. An unconditional unbias love and when it come oh how wonderful it will be...:)

  • Shut UP! You ain't no traaans... :) ...kidding. Seriously, though...NICE transition. You're mind is fierce!

    Take heart. You seem very bright and I think we'd agree that the "greater" part of ourselves really exists in the nonphysical form. Where the magic happens is when we connect with each other from this nonphysical place. And. When we do that, the magic just seems trickle down into everything else.

    Meeting people who are self-aware is hard enough, finding ones you can date, even harder.

  • @Cherat7 lol Almost how they wrote that message too. Yes, I completely agree. When all is right within, it makes that of the external even better.

  • there is someone out there for everyone xay! some people even have one, two, or three somebody's! i feel lucky to be dating another ftm but before him i felt everything you touched on. i couldnt agree more that we are not here to teach anyone especially cis men. i hope someday people can stop aligning their ideas of gender with genitals or a pair of breasticles. just continue to be yourself and know that the people who truly matter and deserve to love you will see and appreciate that

  • @spiceforce5 Very true. I hope so as well. I suppose the day will eventually come when our ideas of gender expand. There already seems to be more awareness, albeit very little, but still growing. Thank you, and I wish you two well!

  • gud vid

  • Great video man, cause I've felt/feel a lot of the same things. I also don't want to have to educate people that I'm potentially interested in dating. And since I'm stealth, it makes dating really hard, because if I want to date someone then firstly I have to come out to them and face potential rejection, based simply on my past.

    I also wish that people could see beyond a person's sex, and not have that be the defining criteria of dating or not dating that person.

  • @Dash107 I feel you, but I do not stay too hung up on people who wish to not date me because of my genitals. For one, that tells me we are not compatible anyway, so I ain't even mad. Then I also view it as a preference. If they simply prefer men with penises attached, then so be it. Its like someone who prefers brunettes, thickness or muscles. I will not try to fight their attractions.

    Don't worry, what you seek you will find.

  • @laidbaqq

    Thanks bro :)

  • Crap. You're very good-looking, and it's distracting me from listening to the video. But after dousing myself with cold water, I watched it a second time, and everything you said is great/insightful/just plain right. 

  • Oddly enough..i dont see u as a trans man i just see you as a man..a gay man who is very handsome, spiritual and educated. That is wat attracts me 2u. Im often mistaken 4 a trans man bcuz i bind, dress masculine and have just as much facial hair as u (if not more)..people always try to box me n and i tell them im just a diff. Kind of woman..i c u as an individual NOT a transexual..and whoever u choose 2b with needs to see you the same way. Theres so much more to who u r and i love it! Jah bless!

  • @XxTonyThaTigerxX Thank you, but I am not a gay man lol I am pansexual.

  • Really... Enjoyed this video...

  • excellent video as always man

  • Well said. You seem like a cool person...

  • I love your outlook on life. i just about fell out the chair laughing @ "i dont talk to your titties all day" lmao. too funny. but you have a very intellectual outlook on things that makes a lot of sense and i think the world would be a better place if more people thought like you and stepped out of the gender roles placed upon us all

  • @HurricaneStud7 I mean, maybe some people do spend more time talking to breasts than those who sport em. Thanks though!

  • I totally agree with you. When people see you first as trans and not as a person, there is a huge imbalance of power right there. It puts you in the position of having to prove to the other person that you are actually a person too rather than they treat you as a person as a default.

  • @RoseWasCute Right, right. But is it that Rose WAS cute? Is Rose no longer cute?

  • @laidbaqq Rose is gone from Doctor Who so she no longer is cute.

  • you're so gorgeous...

  • You're awesome. And you will meet an awesome person. Know that!

  • Follow me @tats_n_blaqs

  • I liked yu as a individual since day 1

  • I wish I had the same confidence in myself that you have gained in your transition :) It's great to see you in such a positive way these last few videos!

  • @DarrinTDT Its all in the mind! Confidence, positivity, happiness. It all originates in the mind, so it is very much available to you as well.

  • In my experience, there are a lot of things around identity as it relates to systemic power (and I am not exclusively speaking to being trans, seeing that I also walk with a lot of unearned privileges in this world). But what you said at the end of the video is what struck home for me, because through it all, I just want to be one of the two who like each other and make each other giggle at weird shit and take care of each other and want the best for each other : tender affection. xoXavierxo

  • @freshlycharles I love tenderness and affection ^_^

    Thanks, Charles.

  • You have SO many meaningful things to say.. I feel the exact same way about society's gender roles and norms. People get so caught up with what genitals and other body parts a person has, when that has nothing to do with the spiritual and emotional attraction two people can share. I have always been attracted to whomever possesses the qualities I like, but now people consider me "lesbian" because I am dating a female for the first time. But oh well. You will definitelly find someone for you. : )

  • @jadakiss706 "But oh well," I loved that response to it.

  • Great Vid!!

  • First and foremost, you are fine a fuck, second that dude whom was an ass hole to you, FUCK'EM

    I hope everything goes well in your life and that you find love, real love -@_DEExDOPE

  • I'm sorry you had to go through that mess with that guy. I hope he is gone from your life.

    I love your honesty in every video you make. You are amazing.

  • I don't understand, your a trans man and you prefer to date gay men or trans men? I do understand that the person you were dealing with was a total clown seem like. And always remember there is someone out there for everyone. Good Luck

  • @petrailani I prefer to date people with whom I share a mutual attraction. How ever their spirit takes form I am able to accept.

  • You'll TOTALLY find someone. I have that fear, too, but I believe things will fall into place in that department for transguys like us.

  • @Whitedoggy24 I have complete faith in that.

  • Thanks for the vid!

  • I love this video Xay. So similar to the things I deal with and the way I view things. Kudos

  • @justplainkay Yea Kayden! I watched your video about gay men and ended up writing a post on tumblr about the same subject. I agreed with everything you said and shared the same experiences.

  • I subbed because ur perspective is unique & valid.

  • @MsAnjelTS Thank you, I appreciate it.

  • @laidbaqq You're very welcome & you come with true sincerity in your words. Makes all the difference in the world.

  • @ShujaaBantu Right. I tend to find more understanding and acceptance with queer identified individuals. Even as a butch lesbian, those who identified in such a manner provided much more room for me to express myself.

  • that guy sounds like a ass. i hope he is out of your life for good

  • @MrDarkWonderland I just say he wasn't my type. But yea, he is definitely out.

  • I understand what you are saying about missing the “ques”… that’s me all day every day. I find myself feeling socially awkward in not knowing what is expecting during normal interactions wither it be romantically or just normal day-to-day. *shurgs* … still just trying to find where I “fit”… thanks for making videos

  • You remind me if a friend of mine ... You seem like a nice person to be around.

  • @MusicINnee some would agree and others may disagree.

  • Well.... I'd date you... your super hot so don't worry you'll be greatly loved!

  • X you look real good man and fuq all them haters. Do you. I feel what you were sayin. If ppl can't except you 4 who you r than you know what fuck them and there feelings. You will find someone 4 u.

  • damnnn X, youre lookin so old!! glad we got to be around the same transition time. you look super good. peace

  • @kcbelz Old? lol I don't know how to feel about that. Mature sounds nicer. Thanks. You look great as well.

  • My only relationship was before I came out and have been afraid to date sense I came out. That and the individuals who have hit on me sense coming out have generally given me the creeps, but that is neither here nor there.

  • @SephieRothe (and I forgot to put my point in the post >_>). I was going to ask about how you overcame the paranoia.

  • @SephieRothe Paranoia in regards to what?

  • @laidbaqq Sorry, I should have been more clear. I meant the feeling that people would not want to date you

  • @SephieRothe Well, I try not to concern myself with it. I figure, a person who will not consider talking to me because I am trans is someone I should not concern myself with romantically. I see someone not wanting to date me as a trans person the same as someone who primarily dates brunettes or thick women, feel me? So I don't stress it.

    Besides, since having met people who would, I have learned to change my perspective to it being a matter of *when* I find someone and not *if*.

  • @laidbaqq Thank you.

  • @SephieRothe I know what you mean about getting the creeps, but trust, not all are like that. There are some genuinely good people out there who will be interested in you as a person. I had to learn where to devote my attention and how to recognize real.

  • Where have you been!? Good to see you again, bro!!!

  • I had to favourite this one. Great vid.

    I fall for the person I meet, not the body they're in.

  • You are a very handsome man! secondly, as a lesbian, for some reason i found it very easy to date a transgender male. I met him when he was mid transition getting ready for top surgery. he was very broken and going through alot and shocked that i was so ear to date him. I found it interesting that he didnt believe that i wanted to date him. Talking to him made me really see that people can be very offensive and negative toward transgendered people.male or female. <3 the video!!

  • @RainbowRockaKiki Thanks. Yea, people are not always nice and like some I met, do or say things without at all being aware of what they are doing. Would you possibly mind making a video detailing your eases and hardships in regards to dating a trans man? I am always curious to hear from the partners, as they are often overlooked during our transitions.

  • i dig what u say man

  • Very informative video!!! And You're very pleasing to the eyes so that helped as well!!!!!!!

  • I think dating as a lesbian was a lot easier for me, too. My experience so far is that lesbians tend to be better than other folks (inc. SGL men) in dismantling sex-based stereotypes & roles. I'm much more aware of my female socialization & uncomfortable with it when in the presence of straight women & cis men. As you point out, there's the expectation that I act a certain way based on my gendered appearance. On another note: there needs to be more vids on YouTube by cis-guys who date trans guys

  • @itsGOTtobegroovy I believe so, seeing as how lesbian women are faced with issues directly related to their sexuality & gender. I actually had and still have the best luck with queer identified individuals, as it seems they contemplated their own gender and sex beyond the norm. Same here, possibly why I lack men and heterosexuals as friends. Have you seen Shaan's recent vid about gay men & straight men being friends?

    I 2nd that. I know they exist, but where are they?

  • so the guy u were with didn't know prior to dating?

  • @cubecalirican I told him and he said that was fine.

  • I recently made a video about what it's like being with a trans guy and many people were offended for some reason. I wasn't intentionally trying to be offensive. Maybe you could check it out and tell me what you think??

  • @didithejanetfan13 where is this video?

  • @laidbaqq It's on my channel. I'ts private but I'll set it so you guys can see.

  • @didithejanetfan13 I'd like to see this video, too.

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