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  • "Would you describe the accused as a friend ?"

    "TAKE THE FIFTH !!!"

    L

    M

    A

    O

    !!

  • occupation, bum, haha haha classic !!!

  • Yep. This is so totally a "Reason you suck" speech. XD

  • ...bum!

  • hang on....if he sews nametags on his own condoms....wouldn't that cause holes/splitting?

    that said jeremy kyle would be out of a job ...

  • "Are there no others who shared moments of intimacy with him"

    "Only one but shes got a puncture"

  • This is still funny only rimmer would object to his own council. XD

  • Biggest joke of all? Rimmer WAS responsible :)

  • Kryten: Sir what are you objecting to now?!

    Rimmer: I want an apology.

    lmao

  • Arnold J. Rimmer, the only man to get off from a charge of gross negligence on account of him being too incompetent.

  • 13 people couldn't outwit a used teabag!

  • Stop arguing over youtube, you bunch of gimboids.

  • I'm sick of seeing stupid arguments on these comments about who has the 'right' sense of humour. Jeez, all I'm seeing is a buch of unfounded prejudiced ignorance. As if good comedy is bound to any particular country...

    More importantly, Red Dwarf!

  • I always had the feeling Kryten was also using the opportunity to insult Rimmer. Think about it - for once he had permission to say what he really thought.

  • Love it! To bad the back to earth episodes sucked arse. Still the original series was pure genious

  • occupation? uhh bum love it :)

  • the man robot guy sorry 4got name..anyway he use 2 live in the house i live in now and also he went out with a woman my dad use 2 go out with....also my dad knows him LOL and he is a legend...

  • nothing like a sci-fi trial via Rad Dwarf... : )

  • i don't think you have to be british to find red dwarf funny, you just have to know the english language and have a sense of humour ...i'm australian and this is easily one of the funniest comedies ever.

  • take the 5th!

  • "Can you ever envisage A situation where, the lack of honeycomb centred chocolate bars, might be the direct cause of a lethal radiation leak!" LOL!!!!!!!!,,,,I love this comedy series & still have most of em on dvd. A timeless classic series best if watched from the very beginning

  • @youbetterbelievehah disagree with you there man! it wasnt meant to be the best actors,its a comedy...friends hardly had great acting either. Comedy itself was hilarious....

  • @youbetterbelievehah If it's horrible how come it has been dubbed one of the greatest british comedies of all time and how come NO American comedy has ever made me laugh a bit because Americans do not know what comedy is they try and do Intelligence Jokes and it does not work they tried doing slap stick and the English beat them at that as well.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    Simple, that's because British comedy sucks. It's not hard to be "the best" among the worst. Outside of the UK, only .01% of people could ever laugh at the childishly simplistic crap you see in British comedy.

  • @youbetterbelievehah Why don't you crawl back to Family Guy we're on about British humour and they might show it on TV but English have and always will have one the greatest sense of humours of any race, colour and religion and we take the piss out of anything including ourselves Americans can't stand to take the piss out of themselves.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    Actually, American comedians and television shows put down the citizens as well as the government very often, and we're also fine with other people doing so, unlike you Brits. You'll cry for hours the second anyone points out how pathetically arrogant, stupid and ugly you people truly are. Anyway, regardless, it's a renowned fact that the only people who find British comedy, or English comedy specifically funny, are the British, or English themselves.

  • @youbetterbelievehah Actually i know a few people in America that find British comedies great and basically we can take the piss out of anything for hours Americans my god they are too patriotic. Why are you so uptight is it because the fact that British take the piss out of the Americans most of the time you know over here Americans are called the people of flab i do not see why since America has changed so much but we basically insult everything because it's funny.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    Actually, people who like British comedy here are a rare exception. In the US and Canada, it's commonplace to find comedians and television shows bashing British comedy. Also, I dare you to find a video of a halfway decent comedian talking about America, in America, where people are outright angry. We laugh at ourselves, as well as openly attack the things we see wrong with our country (hence protests of the government, our television shows, comedians etc).

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    Ever heard of George Carlin? I rest my case...

  • @youbetterbelievehah Yes i have heard of George Carlin and believe it or not i did not laugh at it. I just did not find it funny. I prefer the racial abusive jokes that the british come out with.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    I don't care if you like him or not, the fact that Americans laugh at him saying everything he dislikes about America, including religion, obesity, the government etc. proves everything you said null. Also, the kind of comedy you like seems to be the very immature, unintelligent type which requires very little comprehension or reasoning skills. Go check out some of our ghetto, Ebonics prone black comedians, you'll love them, their crap is right up your alley...

  • @youbetterbelievehah Wellid you want to call the Two Ronnies, Lee Evans and other comedians like them crap then you do not know what comedy is. Americans may laugh at him but no one else does. The fact that you are calling british comedy complete rubbish is absolutely crap. British comedy beats FRIENDS by miles it even beats Family Guy. But i have to admit not all British comedy is good all you have to do is look at the new crap and thats it.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    You seem to lack the comprehension to understand my point. Regardless, I've known many people from many places who like George Carlin. Just one look at those commenting on his videos proves that. Also, you don't seem to know much about American television if the only shows you can name are those. No one here sees those as the pinnacle of comedic genius. To conclude, I know perfectly fine what comedy is, having a differing opinion does not mean you're any more "right" than I am.

  • @youbetterbelievehah I see your point basically there is no who's right it's just personal preference me i prefer intellegent comedy that takes the piss out of everything and anything. Now i do not like American comedy that much one look at Dinner For Shcmucks and i nearly threw up. Though i do like Achmed The Dead Terroist mainly because he takes the piss out of Muslims.

  • @youbetterbelievehah american television and movies are unoriginal hence why they steal OTHER shows and movies from other countries.

    COUPLING was first made by the british to be a ANTI-friends, and even the yanks had to make an american version of that which stunk

    they tried to make an american version of THIS and it died in the pilots. Finally after understanding abit of british humor yanks made 'under development

    but then went back to exaggerated crap when making british humor i.e 30 rock

  • @LAHrebirth Sorry i meant places like New York, Texas and places like that are the places that probably thought that up.

  • @LAHrebirth

    Yeah, 99% of American television is completely original, and to state otherwise shows your views to be completely biased and ignorant. Also, you seem to be unaware of the fact that people outside of your country don't find your sense of "humor" all that humorous. Also, why are you attempting to tell me what I do and think? You're a simplistic fool who gets his view of the world from YouTube and BBC, that's obvious by your unoriginal remarks. Get a clue, moron.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    Oh, and if you want to judge American comedic television properly, you should stop watching television shows aimed towards teens.

  • @youbetterbelievehah Well to begin with i absolutely hate teen shows the only show i ever watch that's made for kid's is Spongebob with my little brother. Though there is a game i like to play with the right comedy in it and it is called Postal 2 i have never seen something so much fun in my life just being able to kill people because they won't sign a petition...classic or killing a load of Muslims cause they try to take the church for allah. Hilarious

  • @youbetterbelievehah watching tv shows aimed at teens?? 'two and a half men' is aimed at adults and even that has gotten old, charlie gets some and allan is screwed the end. You admire your stars so much you don't care if charlie and mel gibon threaten their new wives with knives.

    you run out of ideas so badly most of your movies are comic book crap hence disney buying marvel

    even horror movies you'll steal from eveyrwhere eg. 'let the right one in'

    even 'the nanny' is not from the U.S

  • @LAHrebirth

    Two and a Half Men is not age restricted. Also, since when do my ideas of a movie come into play? I'm a carpenter by trade, not a movie director, or a script writer. This "you, you!" and "me, me!" mentality is that of a child who's never accomplished something for himself. Stop using "you" and "me" and actually do something, then you wont have to simply group yourself with others who have. Also, I suggest working on mathematics, and why one doesn't represent the whole.

  • @youbetterbelievehah p.s according to the dvd reviews leonard nimoy were gonna sue the british for this show as he first thought it was a rip off of 'startrek' that goes to show how unsecure stupid americans are about dumb shows that should've died years ago. He only stopped because he found out it was a comedy and it was funny.

  • @LAHrebirth

    Well, first off, the term you're looking for is insecure, so I wouldn't be calling anyone stupid if I were you. Also, your "stupid Americans" comment brings to light the fact that you're an insignificant, ignorant child. You shouldn't make statements without presenting facts, so if you want that to be at all believable, you'll have to show me facts. Also, that is completely irrelevant to me, as I'm not him, nor are you the developer of this show. You're a moron...

  • @LAHrebirth I think you mean "insecure stupid Americans" you stupid American.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r racist abusive jokes sounds more like an american thing

    proof is the 'racist chicken' debuckle which you blamed aussies for making a racist kfc ad. Fried chicken is racist?? no it isn't, white americans made it racist, you took there culture so they have no identity, but U couldn't be racist to them no more so you said they like fried chicken and watermelon and grape drink

    THEN expect the world to know this? aussies didn't know fried chicken is racist its somethin the yanks made up

  • @LAHrebirth Not all of it I mean Postal 2 is the only American thing i find funny. The English are the only one's who can insult the Middle-Eastern's properly and make you laugh for day's with that one joke. that's what I was getting at. Since was insulting Fried Chicken that is already dead considered racist. Typical yanks to come up with something so stupid, they don't like cause' your insulting they're fav food. Fatty fried chicken.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    I wouldn't bring up the topic of who's overweight, as chances are, the two of you are overweight, being as over 60% of the people in your country are. Do you fools really get your entire mindset from television? Are you completely unable to come to a reasonable, intelligent conclusion?

    "The English are the only one's who can insult the Middle-Eastern's properly and make you laugh for day's with that one joke."

    Add "make me" not "make you", as that is a false statement.

  • @youbetterbelievehah

    1) I can't stand fried chicken

    2) Doctors say my weight is perfect for my heigh 60 Kilo's at 6'1

    3) Well the middle eastern jokes are a classic in this country

    4) No we do not because if we did we would believe the governments lies and false propaganda since we are rebelling and student riots and EDL sightings are increasing i would say no that we do not get our whole mindset from TV. I got my mindset from the world around me and it's so bad that i'm on prozac.

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    That's good to hear, but you don't represent the whole. Although, I'm sure it's much more true about LAH, given his comments...

  • @h0lyh4ck3r

    You really need to start watching more than just American and British television, comedians from many countries put down the English for their obsession with their truly horrible comedy.

  • @youbetterbelievehah There is this one middle-eastern comedian i like and he does the advert for moneysupermarket(dot)com but i can't remember his name.

  • what episode is this

  • Justice. Series 4.

  • this is one of the best scenes ever,lol

  • "who? only a yoghurt"

  • A man of such awesome stupidity that he even objects to his own defense council

    XD

  • 'Occupation?'

    Er...bum...

    Love this clip!

  • "This man is not guilty of manslaughter, he is only guilty of being Arnold J Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment" lol

  • @mickenoss yes, the best line from this scene

  • he would while away the hours sewing name labels on his ship issue condoms lol

    love this show this episode is epic one of the best

    i love lister

  • This man who cannot outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew. Who? Only a yogurt.

  • Kryten: Would you describe the acused as a friend

    Lister: No i descirbe the acused as a git

    lol

  • take the fifth! loll

  • I love this show :)

  • "And are their no other who sheard moments of intemisiem with him?"

    "Only one but she got a puncture."

    XD

  • "A man of such awesome stupidity-"

    "OBJECTION!"

    "Overruled."

    "A man of such awesome stupidity that he even objects to his own defence council."

    Always makes me laugh xD

  • red dwarf is classic

    "Name"

    "Dave Lister"

    "Oqupation"

    "err...Bum"

  • "That is his crime, and it is also his punishment." Great line.

  • Occupation: erm BUM!

    classic lol

    Lister <3

  • OMG hilarious!! One of the best ever!

  • 1 of the best red dwarf scenes ever

  • Red Dwarf is FINALLY making a movie, as of Mar 2009

    listerscominghome(dot)co(dot)u­k

    Remove any spaces and replace (these) items from above address

  • i wouldnt class it as a 'movie'. its a 3 part special on dave over easter. yeah its movie length, but i wouldnt class it as a movie, i see it as the same sorta thing as series 8's 'Back in the Red' 3 part episode

  • I have so lost track of how many times I have seen this episode and it still makes me laugh to this day. Pure gold comedy wise not many shows can live up to that.

  • Who? Only a yoghurt...

  • greatest line ever

  • He is only guilty of being Arnold.J Rimmer that is his crime that is his punishment lol killer line, pure class.

  • British comedy is the best, way better than American crap

  • YAY! 2 new Red dwarf episodes on Dave at Easter...WOO!

  • 2new episodes,?

  • yh there are two episodes in easter where they make it to earth

  • 3 episodes, was orginally 2 and an uncut show. now its just 3 episodes. starts april 9th i think, or 10th

  • Wait what is this now?

  • Occupation

    "Er, bum"

    XFD

  • "Would you describe the accused as a friend?"

    "Nah, I'd describe the accused as a git."

    Brittish comedy, bloody classic. This would have to be one of my favourite shows ever.

  • Has this ever been shown on BBC America? I discoveed it in foeign film club at school and I find it exteamly amusing and yet BBC has yet to eve show it to my knowalge, yet the frequently show Doctor Who. Monty Python is the only show I actually watch on it, although if Red Dwarf were to begin aiing I'd be thrilled.

  • i think there was an american version of the first few shows but they werent as good but the boxset containing all the episodes from every series is under forty quid on amazon

  • They used to show this on PBS. I haven't seen it on BBC america. Check PBS website to see if they still show it and when. I believe I also saw "Jeeves and Wooster" on PBS. PBS was amazing. Also, there wasn't an american version I believe there was only an american pilot..and "weren't as good" is an understatement it was horrible.

  • Thanks & love it.

    Hope you enjoy our new episode of Couch Cases!

  • 'Who? Only a yoghurt.'

  • XD

    "So stupid he even objects to his own defense cousil." XD

  • Best serial ever

  • RED DWARF - LEGEND

  • this was the 3rd episode of Red Dwarf i ever saw! lol my sister got given the "Camille" video for Christmas about 14 years ago, with the first 3 episodes of series 4 on it :) Think I fell in love with Craig Charles during this very scene...

  • I don't remember when I fell in love with Craig Charles, but I'm with you on that!

  • Classic Red Dwarf. Love it.

    ☺☻☺☻

  • Name: Dave Lister

    Occupation: Bum

  • x]

    Lmao

  • THAT is his crime...it is also his PUNISHMENT

    Classic.

  • He's so petty, he sows name tags into his ship-issue condoms! HAHAHA!

  • my dad downloaded this on his laptop

    he used to watch this when he was younger.I love this stuff!

  • Kryten takes him to school haha

  • "Who? Only a yogurt!"

  • THIS is comedy

  • It's ArH-nuld...

  • yea that's wat i mean. captain man meat is missing tho. he's a one of a kind plonker u know.

  • ".................eh, bum." :D

  • love it. really like the one were rimmer holds a war with the wax droids. that was funy as can be.

    El Bog

  • this is like the best clip of red dwarf ever,rimmer is really funny :) :) :)

  • what does 'take the fifth' mean???

  • That you refuse to say anything in court because it might be used as evidence against you to prove you commited a crime I think. In this case, its a joke because Cat is saying if Lister says Rimmer is his friend, he is commiting a crime. I think thats about right at any rate.

  • thanks m8

  • In American criminal law, "taking the Fifth", also known as "pleading the Fifth" or "commanding the fifth", is the act of refusing to testify under oath in a court of law or any other tribunal (such as a Congressional committee) on the ground that the answers that would be given could be used as evidence against the witness to convict him or her of a criminal offense.

    That's from Wikipedia.

  • We knew that anyway. The fact it is funny is that it is an English show so therefore doesn't really apply

  • it ment that claiming rimmer as a friend could be used against him later lol. Rimmer might use it against him lol

  • 'Only one but she's got a puncture', hilarious!

    narm

  • lol red dwarf if funny

  • I must have seen Red dwarf about a thousand times... heres to the next thousand!

  • Man, this is GOLD! Grant and Naylor are to be commended for this bit, it is too brilliant for words. I'm gonna USE some of these lines!

  • Got to love it!, reddwarf live on forever!

  • best british comedy programme ever.

  • 'only a yogurt' lmao

  • hahaha ooh rachel rimmers blowup dolly heehee , lurvd and still lurve red..well up to series 5 think was..anyways tis brillant!

  • series 5 was awesome so was 6,7 but 8 was pretty bad but was still cool

  • Name: Dave lister

    Occupation: Err Bum

  • boys from the dwarf!

  • "Would you describe the accused as a friend?"

    "...take the fifth!"

  • I take the accused as a git

  • i love this episode

    i love kryten

    i love rimmer

    i just simply love red dwarf!

  • there all dead dave!

  • "A man so petty and small minded he would while away his evenings sewing name labels onto his ship issue condoms"

    One of the funniest Red Dwarf lines ever, I loved this episode.

  • "she's got a puncture"-classic

  • Please let them make more of Red Dwarf.

  • Occupation? ermmmm bum I LOVE RED DWARF <3

  • He's a smeeeee a smeeeeee a smeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Oh, forget it.

  • "Who? Only a yoghurt!" Classic!!!

  • LOL "no I'd describe the accused as a git" :D

  • i use to stay up till 1 in the morning just to wacth this show and The Red Green Show

  • Same here!

  • Same here!

  • Yeah innit who would just look up a video of red dwarf just to omment to piss off the people who like it. Is your brain so retarded and you have so little friens or family to spend time with........ RED DWARF ROCKS!

  • Name: Dave Lister

    Occupation: umm.......

    BUM

  • only one but shes got a punction HAHA i wet myself red dwarf rocks its awesome

  • AMAZING all red dwarf is amazing this clip is one of the best of seris 4

  • 6th series is the best

  • "It is both his crime, and his puishment!" That is worth top marks.

  • who? only a yoghurt!

  • It's annoying when people go to the trouble of hunting down videos just to slag them off, do you have too much time on your hands or something? someone wants to listen to their favorite song, type in the band name and read some of the comments, there's always some idiot saying this bands shite, heres an idea, you stick to the crap you like and we'll keep watching the good stuff

  • best SERIE on the world !!!!!!!!

  • "TAKE THE FIFTH" BAHAHHA HAHAHAHAH bu howdddd ya do dat holll

  • occupation ?

    bum

    -conclusion:

    smeggin class

  • Nice vid, shame the BBC forced me to remove my "red Dwarf: What a Load of Smeg" vid.

    If the BBC wont allow anymore Red Dwarfs to be made, they shouldnt complain when fans try to keep the show alive.

  • Exactly!

    BBC ? - Objection!

  • overe ruled

  • absolutely brilliant red dwarf moment

  • "Are there no others who shared moments of intamacy with him?"

    "Only one but she's got a puncture."

    lol

  • sound a bit bitter....

    whats your problem?????

  • A. So what?

    B. Not proven.

    C. So what? He earns more than you'll ever make.. per year!

    D. So what? You are nothing more than a bloody american twat. The lowest of the low.

  • Name? Dave Lister.

    Occupation? .....Bum.

  • love your TV there. Thank's

  • sews names on his condoms, LOL

  • god i must get like.. a DVD and watch a load of this show.. i feel so left out!

  • you can get box sets at Zavvi (Virgin Media Megastores) or HMV for a little as £30

  • take the fifth!

  • Lol! one of my favourite episodes! "not out wit a used tea bag" lol!

  • I seen all on youtube cant remember what part was this in!

  • The episode is called 'Justice.' Series 4.

  • red dwarf is one of my all-time favorite shows! one of the major influences on my own space adventure... no it's NOT spam :p

  • its the best

  • it is a quote from series 5 episode terror form it is rimmers sub-concious talking to him

    'shut your putrid whinning you dank tuft of rectal pubic hair' lol 'butterpat head!'

  • Lister's tie is hilarious

  • lol