Funny Chuck Norris facts

[1111tarik]

When Chuck Norris sneezes someone in the world dies

[oMrzubier]

chuck norris is madara !!!!

[PsychoProductions369]

@oMrzubier LOL

[mikerichard123]

I bet that Chuck Norris can't stop me from writing this com-

[mikerichard123]

Chuck Norris can make fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together

[AiMdOwNyOuRsIgHtS321]

The same person put both dislikes.... just to check Chuck Norris's weak leg on the first click.... then his strong leg on the second.... ( which of course was just his finger left on the keyboard... any other dislike is just the wind blowing!!!)

[otep67]

@AiMdOwNyOuRsIgHtS321 ugh mind explaining that abit better? xD

[Smith89123]

Chuck Norris can dislike a youtube video multiple times with one click of the button

[dritacadabra]

chuck norris never lie. it is true who make a mistake ahha

from kosova :P:P

[EvilElward]

chuck norris can unscramble eggs



[deadforever99]

Chuck can eat a rubbix cube and poop it out Solved.

[skinnyshit8888]

Chuck norris' smile brought a puppy back to life.

[NoPoinT98]

If Chuck Norris touches water he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris xD

[BeReallyEnigma]

Chuck norris for president

[otep67]

@BeReallyEnigma Agreed!

[tGarEpReP]

chuck norris once killed a man for failing to give a chuck norris fact!

[Menashafootball2013]

chuck Norris once slept with a semi, 9 months later the semi gave berth and the child was later known to be optimus prime.

[DaDutch1988]

if chuck norris runs in the oppostite direction of the earth's turning, time goes backward

[AwesomeAlan44]

chuck norris's sweat is steroids 

[AwesomeAlan44]

bruce lee would kick his ass

[tore1992]

The 2 dislikes are the testicles of Bruce Lee

[1997ernest]

He is mad

[zrc00kie]

chuck norris invented the giraffe by uppercutting a horse

[stevel920]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

[southern04man]

UNDER CHUCK NORRIS'S BEARD IS AN EXTRA FIST. SO HE CAN WHIP MORE ASS!

[blacklustersolder951]

chuck norris doesnt need a gun ..chuck norris simplely throws the bullets at you

[Bennboy13]

Bin laden was actually hiding from chuck norris because he was scared of him.

Chuck norris made a toilet roll, but he doesn't give a shit.

[alsadi33]

chuck norris dosnt created or destroed ..!

[PointyCheese]

chuck norris is the only person who can order a big mac at burger king and recive one!

[80sSongfreak]

Chuck norris went to a bk and ordered a big mac when he didnt get it he roundhouse kicked it so hard the resturant so hard its now called wendys

[puremetalismylife]

Chuck wanted a full scale replica of his penis built, so they built one, and in his honor they named it the CN Tower

[puremetalismylife]

Chuck Norris doesn't need TiVo to pause live TV, he just tells it to hold still while he gets a sandwich.

[kaloveti08]

when the fist behind his beard smacks you, you'll fly so high that even google won't be able to find you!!

[cali4life72]

Chuck Norris mathematically found out that the bird is the word

[XxAbusivexX]

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost.

[poisoned08]

chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king. he got one

chuck norris can divide by zero

chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he knows... is the element of surprise.

jesus can walk on water...chuck norris can swim on land.

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

chuck norris and Mr.t met up in a building...the building collapsed as for there can not be that much awsomeness in one building

[EAtheSecond]

Chuck Norris is three years older then you.

[samsbabejr]

I wonder what being epic feels like

[kedongsayshellow]

Jesus walked on water, yeah well Chuck Norris swam through land.

[furrysega7]

there is no such thing as superman,just chuck norris

[UltimatePotato]

Chuck Norris jumped over the Chinese wall in one jump. All the way along it.

[indrosildnik]

They say Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

[hilbertdepilbert]

Chuck Norris knows victoria's Secret.

[angall3]

every time Chuck Norris wants ice cream he just round-house kicks the cow to Antarctica.

[fayeslover]

Comment and user removed by Chuck Norris

[timburtonfan01]

@fayeslover hahahahahahahaha holy shitt

[TheHayatekun]

There is no "300" part 2 'cause the next villain will be Chuck Norris!!!!

[SullenSomething]

Everytime chuck norris blinks, 1 person dies. But if he blinks, and roundhouse kicks someone... 2 poeple die

[DrunkerLegend]

chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity...... he got it back.

[RoryCalnan]

chuck norris is good at skateboarding he is the only pro-pro!WTF

[sporegodcreator]

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin built by HIMSELF

[Mexicanman47]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[meterotronic]

Chuck Norris Spits Acid

[dieselNpetrol]

CHUCK NORRIS CAN BELIEVE ITS BUTTER

[neildangad]

when master chief sees chuck norris he bows down even the whole covenant armada is shooting him

[StormBlackCB]

Chuck Norris can cause Tornado's by blinking

[wikiwuki]

with chuck norris, every testicle is bigger than the other

[xDMamoxD]

@wikiwuki lol

[gangsterguy25]

LOL!!!

[TenaciousSkaven]

@buakawkaoklai yup

[doom3245]

jesus once said LET THERE BE LIGHT... and chuck norris said say please...

[robiniho23]

if you have 5 dollar and Chuck Norris has 5 dollar Chuck Norris has more money

[sakura1406]

Chuck Norris is so fast he can go around the world and punch the back of his head.

[Ramstoned]

Chuck Norris can actually sneeze with his eyes open

[brokenglassman]

the Ben Stiller we know today is a crappy clone, created by the government after he was in an accident that left a foot-shaped indent in his face. The accident occured shortly after the filming of "Dodgeball".

[ineedausernameiii]

kids look under their bed for the boogyman, and the boogy man looks under his bed for chuck norris

[Tailsfan98]

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups.

Pushups do Chick Norris

[gienedude]

Jesus may walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on dry land.

[otep67]

@gienedude nice! lol

[gienedude]

Chuck Norris is actually Master Chief

[gienedude]

Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.

Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.

[nazothedragon]

if you have 5 dollars and chuck norris has 5 dollars chuck norris is richer than you

[Stew855]

If Chuck Norris doesnt like a part in a movie, He rewinds it and it doesnt happen!!!

[gessiona]

When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

[david01928]

chuck norris can peel an orange with his asshole

[Stew855]

LOL

[jman40194]

LOL

[bpmdude]

lmfao wtf xD

[lgerecht1]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad.

[dannyboythepints]

chuck norris'es mom said im gona name you mike, chuck norris said no........... my names chuck norris, or I'll round house kick you

[xBigxBossx93]

chuck norris can lick his own elbow

he also can sneeze with his eyes closed..

O_o

[TheMarinaWong17]

chuck norris picks his teeth with other ppl's teeth ;)

[china1529]

People laugh but they know it's true.

[GOKUisOVER9000]

one time, Chuck Norris asked Bill Gates for 5 dollars. Bill Gates gave him 20 bucks and ran away.

When Satan's Theropist told him to "face his fears", Satan held a picture of Chuck Norris with a sledge hammer in front if his face.

When Chuck Norris looked into the lost Ark (from Indiana Jones) he scratched his nose and walked away.

Chuck Norris once deflected a bullet without touching it

[GOKUisOVER9000]

When chuck norris exhales, the wind blows.

When chuck norris sweats, Thunderstorms occur.

When chuck norris gets injured, the world explodes

[coachjr7241]

he is so stupid

[hippyloser1]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch to tell time. Instead, he stares at the sun for six seconds and flexes, then the sun shits itself and tells him what time it is.

[illage2]

Chuck norris sees dead people ....... infact he is looking at you right now!

The only person that can survive a roundhouse kick from chuck norris is Chuck norris.

[kirschenkiller3]

bill gates worries that chuck norris's pc might crash XD

[KamenRider84]

why everyone make jokes about how "great" he is? hahahaha

[cunninghamdarren]

chuck norris is the reason humpty dunpty had a great fall

[azzatheboomboy]

Industrial logging isnt the cause of deforestation.

Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

[JasperDx17]

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands,

They are now called The Islands

[azzatheboomboy]

There is no theory of evolution, Chuck Norris decides which creature lives!

[EgoVile]

Chuck norris is so tough he uses a 44 magnum for eye drops

[GOKUisOVER9000]

lol I like that one, thats a keeper lol

[bluelionryan]

chuck norris has sex with men not because hes gay but because he ran out of women

[elementarnaa]

4 is the best :D

[fsas8]

there isn't a chin under Chuck Norris' beard, just another fist

[russianrawkit]

once, chuck norris was bitten by a highly poisinous snake. after days and days of agony... the snake died.

[aphroditehina17]

Chuck is the reason Waldo is hiding :)

[sieuzice]

Awesome video! :D here are just 5 more jokes i found hilarious :))

1.Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

2.Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

3.On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.

4.Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

5.Chuck Norris' first job was as a paper boy... ...There were no survivors.

[capitalflush]

Chuck Norris' tear cure cancer, it's just too bad he doesn't cry

[capitalflush]

lol i wrote that before i finished seeing the damn video now i look like a dumbass :p

[Brandonnuby]

chuck norris doesn't sleep with a gun under he's pillow

he sleeps with a pillow under he's gun

[viper9033]

CHUCK NORRIS doesnt CUT grass he dares it to grow.

CHUCK NORRIS doesnt need scuba gear he just holds his breath

[iscamonkey]

chuck norris CAN touch MC Hammer

[tanman330]

CHUCK FOR PRESIDENT!

CHUCK FOR PRESIDENT!

lol

[caseyvans]

chuck norris preforms back alley abortions with his beard

chuck norris once toldhis beard to strangle annd enire vietnamese village

chuck norris can make a women orgasm simply by pointing at her a saying booya

chuck norris ate a 75 ounce steak in 1 hour. he spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress

the day chuck norris has sex with your wife is the happiest day of your life

someone stabbed chcuck norris once. the knife bleed to death

[stefan037]

once a woman lost her virginity. chuck norris searched of it and brought it back to her.

[Rvd655]

water boils faster when chuck norris stares at it

[GnarlyLiam]

On Chuch Norris birthday he choses one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

WOO CHUCK NORRIS

[SharinganWarrior9]

Don't you mean Roundhouse Kick?

[Jagermeistered420]

Chuck Norris won Connect-4 in 3 moves

[brucegray666]

Jesus can walk on water.

Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

They were both running from Bruce Campbell.

[justaskin1]

Jesus can walk through water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[SharinganWarrior9]

Jesus could walk all over water, but Chuck Norris could walk all over Jesus.

[papadatos88]

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land

[JasperDx17]

Jesus walked on water,

chuck norris walked on jesus

[justaskin1]

lol that is awesome i luv bruce campbell.

I hate Chuck now tho, becuase he is a biblethumping mega-christian. look up the vid "Why chuck norris sucks"

You will agree with me. He wants religion to be taught in schools, not as a belief, but a fact!!!!

- Fuck Chuck

[hipopotomusman]

LMFAO THE BUTTER ONE

[oldiesinmyblood]

I read one in a book that said "CHUCK NORRIS ISNT HUNG LIKE A HORSE...HORSES ARE HUNG LIKE CHUCK NORRIS." hahahhahahahaha.

[thepielord00]

they once put chuck norris's face on toilet paper but it wouldnt take shit from anyone

[chucknorrisrules2241]

at first there was nothing then chuck norris roundhouse kicked that nothig in the face and said "get a job" that is the story of the universe

[wwfeowner]

chuck norris had the idea of selling his urine as a canned beverage now we all know it as red bull

[zekaa90]

What Chuck Norris need to kill 100.000 people? Answer: 100.000 people

[Snyphen3]

i just made this up;

before alien vrs predator there was alien vrs chuck norris, now its just called, chuck norris.

[SharinganWarrior9]

The Big Bang was when Chuck Norris Round-House kicked God in the face.

[abstenence1988]

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

[demondragon45]

this is an origanal chuck norris joke.

the only thing that can stand between a man and his mountan dew is chuck norris.

[mewtwoschaos]

when ever u masterbait chuck norris kills a baby

[justaskin1]

nah man, it's "Whenever you masturbate, Chuck Norris punches a Mexican baby in the face" lol

[steveoraho2142]

woops wrong video lmao... anyways... one time chuck norris went to the virgin islands, now their just the islands

[Snyper009]

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a guy so fast his foot went back in time and killed amelia earhart and jon lennon

[ohsweetness1296]

chuck norris can slam a revolving door. chuck norris doesn't use a condom, because there is no protection from chuck norris

[zekey98]

one time chuck norris was denied an egg mcmuffin at mcdonald's because it was 10:35, so he roundhouse kicks the store and it becomes KFC

[1337C3R341]

Chuck norris squeezed orange juice out of a banana

[shrimpmasta]

if you combined chuck norris with a ninja youd have the worlds second most deadly human however take away the ninja and you have the worlds deadliest person

[ukNRG]

chuck norris uses a 44. magnum as eye drops

[bryantfan7]

chuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

[mike150504]

chuck norris lost his virginity befor his dad

[mike150504]

chuck norris doesnt teabag he patato sacks

[perap123]

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

[xaldin1988]

they say chuck norris is so though there is no chin under is beard there is only another fist

[bob14916]

there is no evolution, just a list of species chuck norris allows to survive

[rtsoccerplayer]

chuck norris can believe its not butter!

[juansolisaccordion]

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks are the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

[rocozilla]

chuck norris CAN touch MC hammer

[DrakeIWE]

When Chuck Norris ago sex with a man, not because it is gay, but because he had finished women.

[steveoraho2142]

learn how to write

[rasdomine]

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret

[ObiMatKenobi]

evreybody wears superman pyjamas exept superman he wears a chuck norris pyjama

[Superlvlan]

I do not

[XxboomboxkidxX]

hey wiger31, you got it wrong, your mom once sucked chuck norris's balls.

[blamemexico2626]

chuck norris is so badass he lost his virginity before his father did.

[hbklover4u]

Chuck Norris Can Slam A Revolving Door!!!

[sexirr]

chuck norris doesnt do his laundry...i rest my case..

[SkitzoInsanity]

Some kids piss their name name in the snow.Chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete

[Niall203]

Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands...now they're just The Islands =D

[Drastic1586]

When chuck Norris looks into the mirror the glass breaks cause not even glass is stupid enough to come between chuck Norris and chuck Norris.

[SCHEISSKIND]

LOL THE MAN OWNZ!

[apples49509]

chuck noris sleeps with a night light, but not because hes afraid of the dark but the dark is afraid of him.

[wiger31]

chuck norris once sucked your nuts

[lmurphy05]

chuck norris doesnt sleep....he waits

[Dendu77]

Chuck Norris won a Nobel Peace Prize, he then beat 3 people to death with the award. No one dared to take it away from him, and he recieved a standing ovation.