Whose Line: Children Hoedown

[abchristinabc]

I got a job being a babysitter

I got some money from the mother and father

The children gave me stress so much they reached my fill

I didn't know what to do until I gave them NyQuil

[SmileInHD]

My girlfriend says she's pregnant, how can this be.

Maybe I should go and sue the condom factory.

The reason that I'm worried is a thought that's kind of scary.

What is my child ends up looking like Drew Carrey.

[bradh470]

sometimes kids are really really dumb

some just sit there and suck on there thumb

once I saw this kid he was really fat and scary

but then I found out his dad was Drew carey

[NiaoSen]

last hoedown, before i sleep.

[NYUevanskis]

Why do they bleep "laid"?!

[dude8481]

@NYUevanskis it was 2000 at the time welcome to the future hey

[stevechambers500]

I'm never having children cuz I can't handle the crying. 

Just hearing babies cry all day makes me feel like dying.

Can't think of a third line so I'll just say this.

If I ever am a father, I'll slit my ****ing wrist.

[dude8481]

@stevechambers500 nice one

[mustardpi314]

after seeing the top comment i realize nobody ever makes fun of, compliments, or really acknowledges the musicians besides drew introducing the game....

[PTKhimself]

@mustardpi314 That isn't true.. when Wayne sings with Chip or something like that, they do their best to give them the credit they deserve by clapping for them and stuff like that.. it isn't much, but hey..

[Stormcat1]

I have a son, and he is really shy

he prefers to stick around with my husband and I

we tried to convince him to go out and play

he ended up scaring all the other kids away

[fall92baby]

Drew sets himself up for future jokes in this hoedown.

[Goddessofwarfair]

When ever Collin talks about his wife, he always messes with his ring!

[xXGlamRiderXx]

Press 4 repeatedly. Just do it.

[TheSnowWillowsShadow]

One day my boyfriend and I got really hot and heavy

We planned another date to go down to the levy

But to my dismay he never showed up for the date

So for revenge I said "Guess who else is late?"

[eliguckin]

Josie was the only woman on this show that was funny.

[boredpersonthingy]

Last night my girlfriend had my children in my dream.

If it happened in real life I'd just wanna scream.

Baby's crying all day would make me wanna die.

But at least I know my girlfriends baby is not mine. THAT WHORE!! Lol

[cobrafangz]

when i was a wee boy, i wanted kids one day

and now that i have them my hair is turning gray

they eat they poop they cry they yell over all they're crummy

that is why i leave them home to bother their mummy

[mj4ever1332]

press 5 rpeatedly drew can rap!

[kubek]

The bleeped out "laid" ?

[Killerkrad1]

WARNING: do not like TheEmperorHasSpoken's comment, later you'll find out his "genious" comment is posted on every single "Hoedown" video, don't give that thumb whore what he wants.

[bellaITALIA312]

so hard to believe drew was a marine....

[washington95]

Yes I'm a son, and a brother...

I'm not having kids they're all dur dur dur

when my wife suggested we have a kid

I started to cry

then I went and hid.

[riters654852]

@washington95 the fuck?

[Dragonvale72]

im the youngest, guess what that makes me.

Yep, I'm the baby of the family.

My father treats me like im 2, i think that's really wrong

for my 16th birthday i asked him for a thong.

(i didn't really do that, but i realy want to show him im not a child anymore. i should ask him something distrubing to give hima wake up call.)

[MrJnunnally]

this is my favorite show of the year

but there's something else you shall hear

If perry and sonic are awesome to the core

I bet colin thinks JUSTIN BEIBER IS A WHORE!

[Moonrise514]

Some people say im young. Alot say im a child.

Alot of these insults. Really drive me wild.

I really dont get it. How they misconstrue?

I guess I cant blame them... I'm only 3 foot 2...

[Mason750]

I love these way more then the UK ones cuz I love all the people, Wayne, Ryan, Collin, Brad, Chip, Graig even though Collin, Ryan and Graig are in the UK one i still like these better

[ittems]

wayne and laura hall are matching :D

[ComedicEmpire]

Writing a hoedowns easy, if you have alot of time

but thats not how it is, on whose line

anyone can take their time, writing a comment

but if you do it live, you might get stage fright and vomit

[TCsoccer22]

Coooollllliiiiiiinnnnnn is amaaaazzzzingggg!!!!

[Devilishbritt]

Children are full of spontaneity,

It gets overwhelming when they hit puberty,

The days go by in the blink of an eye,

Before its all over you realize you're preg' with five.

[MagicBeez]

My husband asked for children and I said no way,

So he kept sneaking out till the end of May,

I asked why he had bought so many lego,

He said that he got a stipper Prego.

[Hesusio]

Last night while getting frisky with a lady friend

It escaped my mind to pull out near the end

she wanted to keep it, or so I was told

so I pushed her down the stair, fucking problem solved!

[jamstar1]

Am I the only one who thinks Drew Carey looks like Rod Roddy after he says laid?

[iheartnewyorkbaby]

Am I the only one who find Josie's abnormally large during her hoedown??

[becauseimabigdork]

My mom just had a baby boy, my new little brother in the fam.

She told me to help her out with him, in any way I can.

He has no hair, poops himself, and never will stop bawlin'.

Taking one look at the kid, I told Ma to name him Colin.

[Statalyzer]

@whiteonrice506 Except that Josie did fine here, and Denny Siegel was usually pretty good on Whose Line. Look up some of the stuff on the UK version - she was usually the funniest person on the show. Her Bartender skits were great, and her cat litter song duet with Mike was amazing.

[JustinJusticeTV]

@whiteonrice506 Cuz SOME actually are....I've seen some woman comedians that are funnier than a LOT of the men out there! So sex has nothing to do with it!!

[princessme1112]

@whiteonrice506 i find that offensive to us women....but your clearly right

[Ferriswheel31]

@whiteonrice506 Uh, Kathy Griffin and Betty White?

[jenessa444]

1:22 man i love waynes reaction

[TheRavenSinger]

Colin's rape face.

[wolfpac1able]

i don't need kids cause my girl's in san jose

I've got a plan that i just thought of today

we'll have kids when we have sex

cause i don't the spanish word for "latex"

[PhasmaPaula]

I'm a child and my parents always have fights,

I try to watch Star Wars while they duke it out all night,

I can't ever hear my movies when they shout, "divorce",

Sometimes I wish Darth Vader would choke 'em with the force

[luv2writeksa]

Oh my god, Colin... <3

[TheKorrea1000]

I Love Colin's Evil Face '_'

[2Lazy4aRealName]

Children are so innocent, they also are so cute

Though sometimes I wish that they could be put on mute

That is why I think children are so great

Until the turn into teens and start to masturbate

[TheJacob98]

keep pressing 4

[Yardnoc3103]

on my street there are lots of kids

they always want to know where i hid

im not lying it annoying thats the truth

i should get a bat and pretend im babe ruth

[mlbnow20]

Children are a blessing.

Yes they really are.

Every time I try to make one my wife just closes the bar.

Children can't be

that much of a bother.

I just found out

I have kids with my best friends mother!

[monkeywizard93]

The lady in orange is the best out of all the women on WLiiA. I wish she was on more

[VashDraven]

@monkeywizard93 Watch the original British version of the show. She's always on that. xD

[Natyu0815]

@monkeywizard93 She is Josie Lawrence. She's simply AMAZING! n_n

[kingofburp]

@monkeywizard93

Laura hall is the best :(

[acceptance91]

@TheEmperorHasSpoken I read that in Ryan's voice. Lulz were had :D

[Blivia]

@TheEmperorHasSpoken

Maaay thiiiiirty fiiiiiiiiirst!

[ThatGirlWithTheFlip]

@TheEmperorHasSpoken And yours isn't stupid? You rhymed off with off.

[MaggogZ]

@TheEmperorHasSpoken haha that was awesome, I totally sang that.

[ElfenLied619]

I have kids and I need a sitter.

But there are so many different people to consider.

But there's one person to whom I say stop.

You may know him, he was the King Of Pop!

[Yardnoc3103]

@ElfenLied619 thats mean dude some people are surprisingly still getting over that he's dead

[tanaciousninjanikki]

I really hate children, they annoy the hell outta me

to be a parent, that i told myself "I WILL NEVER BE"

but then i got hooked on sex, something i should of never filed

i should of kept my legs closed cause now im pregnant with my 18th child.

:D

[Prakhar9455305897]

perv face at 1.44 ;-)

[LukasJKirkby]

My wife and I spent a night making lots of lovin'

Then we discovered she had a bun in the oven,

We were destined to be parents, yes we were very hooked,

But it has been a year now I think the bun's overcooked.

The bun's overcooked...

[XavyWin7]

13 people are men who became fathers after they had a vasectomy

[d3s3rtray]

what I love most about these hoe-downs is that everyone has to come up with their lines on their own. Its like an exercise for thespians.

[TehNickIsNoob]

The chick on the left has such a horrible singing voice.

[caveman175]

I met a girl online, she said she was thirteen

She was the prettiest that I have ever seen

When I met her, my stomach filled with fear

A guy with papers said "take a seat over there".

[6blanks]

There are a lot of great women in the world,

I can't go anywhere without seeing a pretty girl,

But there's one woman, boy she tops 'em all,

So I've decided I want to have kids with Laura Hall!

[beinghumangirl]

i am a child and im afraid to sleep

i get the shivers when i count sheep

when i dream i see this guy with razors

oh crap ive dropped my fucken tazor

[degergard]

I like how Drew dances joyfully when he mentions money

[VioIentGoIdFish]

love colins pedo face after his rhyme lol

[StdedLthrPantEz]

@VioIentGoIdFish

He said they were 18! LOL

[VioIentGoIdFish]

@StdedLthrPantEz haha ok ok, semi-pedo face then

[clcsqueejy04]

I sure love them children, they always make me smile.

When the state court judged me, I was marked a pedophile.

I thought they'd give me iron bars, but let me free and said.

"Someone needs to do the job, since Michael Jackson's dead."

Is this in bad taste? I say so.

[zyaine1991]

Blame the freakin FCC they've even kinda managed to ruin British tv

[LePhantomessa]

My sis left town for the week and I'm stuck with all her kids

I tried to sell 'em all on Ebay but no one placed any bids

So I gathered them around and we went out for a lark

Now I'm banned from SeaWorld 'cause I tried to feed the sharks.

[neeraj2608]

@LePhantomessa ha ha very good! :)

[Trias88]

"Laid" is such a dirty word

[bubblegumgirlsworld]

@Trias88 not as dirty as "moist" :P

[ojycdf]

the  lady is scary

[Herpology]

I love the children, coming to my place

But i found out, they really hate my face

Now i did something that made them run a mile

Because what i did I've been charged as a pedophile.

[anuliayok]

Ryan and Josie are the best! Loved the chemistry they had between them on WL UK. And you can see it a bit in this hoedown, when Josie is down her hoedown her and Ryan Look at each other. (not in a romantic kinda way, but a friendly kinda way).

[Kittywitchthesecond]

I would love some children, but I never date

I asked a friend for help and he got all irate

I said "What is the matter? Why are you so vexed?"

He said "You can have my sperm after we have sex!"

[huskeee124]

1:18 i think he said La*d

[123654butters]

@huskeee124 wtf they bleeped out laid. ugh i hate media

[gullwing14]

Boy I tell ya, Children are the worst,

They'r eonly fun for a few days after birth

"Cause you got the cryin',

and you got the naps,

then of course you've gotta clean up all their crap,

[94ligon]

only lady could do the hoedown

[heathb4r14]

LMAOOOO

[ReyColons619]

I hate it that people make their own hoedowns under hoedowns' vids...

[dscholtz3]

I love how all of their arms just flail around while they're doing it haha

[tyetnic]

Why would they sensor laid?

[TheGeneralDisarray]

I just thought of a different line, that I wish Josie had finished with, not that it would have been broadcastable, esp. in America

Just the other day my husband said to me,

Darling, why don't we start a family,

Quite a silly notion, quite a silly whim,

What kind of woman wants to push a person out her quim?

[WhoseLineCrazy]

Children are a nuisance, they're a pain in my ass

My wife asked for a family, I just said I'll pass

Soon I wanted to hit that, she said she took the pill

But HOLY SHIT! now I've got kids, I think I'm feeling ill!

[Blondie2010edition]

OMG.........Colin....you rapist 0:

[Deimos858]

My wife came to me and asked for a child.

That night we had fun that was wild.

9 months later I forgot what we did.

Because they all look like my best friend Sid.

[noyboy125]

there is a child in all of us that everyone see

it comes out when playing or having some ice cream

and for all you grownups there is no need to frown

it usually only comes out when you do a hoedown

[FaroresCourage]

Children are adorable at the age of two

Its so cute when they argue or even poo

But when they turn eighteen they can't seem to get a clue

Cause arguing about a bottle makes them look like Collin or Drew

-sucks.

[pricefan87]

My wife went to Six Flags, and they're so really fun

They're going on a roller coaster fun for a ride

Why they want to ride all other coasters

'Cause all the coasters makes me dizzy and fun

.

[YingleYangle]

being young and careless, my love and i made love

it probably wasn't the best idea, that was ever thought of

now i regret that day that we did have sex,

our lives just went downhill, since we had no durex

[syafiqjaffery]

I really love children, they are really cute and small,

Especially their head which looks like a ball,

Damn they are cute I need to have two,

But no way thats gonna happen when youre dating Drew.

-Bored

[DOtheRAiNdance]

wonder if the end of drews hoedown is really true . . .

[Msilikenachos]

1:34-1:43 XD Colin's face when he was rubbing his hands! priceless!

[UniverseIndistries]

@curtiswashik2 I don't think you understand what a hoedown try's to tell, I think you just bought your ticket to hell, there's only one thing that you can really do, try to make a funny hoedown and say your sorry to. SAY YOUR SORRY TOOOOOOO!!!!!

[dipu94321]

my wife had a baby,she loves godfather movies

everytime we had sex she would give me the boogies

after the kid came i thought the enthusiasm would drown

it turned out to be worse as the kid was a born clown

[TalaLalaLicious]

My baby girl was crying, I told her to shut up!

She didn't hear me, niether did she stop!

I turned around angerly with a little teader,

I yelled "shut up the hell up Justin bieber"

It's right off the top of my head so it sucks lol

[einirr]

I love children, they are a lot of fun

But when they see me coming, they always run.

They are all scared of me, no matter their gender.

They all run because I am a sex offender.

[vezina333]

A woman had a baby from a gay guy last July.

He was such a good boy, you rarely heard him cry.

The only time you'd hear him cry, that tiny little lass.

Is when they'd try to pull the pacifier from his ass.

[TheDementedDemon]

@vezina333 That's kind of offensive to gays.

[lytwielder]

1:42 rape face.

[Prometheusmfd]

I hope to have children, I think they are so great

Most likely many years after a first date

I will meet the girl who would be a perfect mom

But for now the only thing that gets it is my palm

[mrthrillernight]

@Prometheusmfd its actually pretty good...

[WordsOfWillsdom]

I have been a married man, for about 10 months

But I have been upset for about a month!

My spouse said that I am I dad!

This cam as a shock to me that very day!

How could this have happend? Because I'm a gay!

[HokusPokusFilijokus]

@WordsOfWillsdom

HAHAH WORST I EVER HEARD doesnt even works with the music idiot

[WordsOfWillsdom]

@HokusPokusFilijokus Alright, that's your opinion. I know it's bad, that's why I'm not a commedian, I just do it because I'm bored, instead of insulting people, just thumb it down instead of yelling at me. Take care.

[dillpickle1022]

I have 5 crazy children, sometimes they drive me nuts

They cry all day and night, making me change their butts

God forbid they lose their binkies, they scream til they turn red

i then call over colin, and let them suck on his head

[Wuteverdudepwnz]

Josie was by far the best woman on the show, I could already tell by one episode.

[Doublejeebus]

@JOLLYJOEY101 it still sounds like "laid"

[sultanofsick]

Josie's singing voice makes my ears hurt

[LubbyLibby]

@sultanofsick Me too :\

[leeks1408]

children are a pain i don't like them at all

my family hates me for it but i could just stall

it wasn't what i expected i wanted it to hush

until i found out that i have twins with laura bush

[ScarlettheHedgehog09]

children are amazing with they dirty ways

which they learn over time all of the days

My daughter just told me she had lost her v

sadly it was off a stick she used when she had to pee

[jhankei]

Anyone else notice Colin and Ryan bobbing their heads at each other at about 2:05? XD

[OMFGITSYUE]

is there ever a 2 way tie?? and if there is what do they do?

[Tu49]

I hate my children they really are a pain

they run and scream and jump around in a freaking rave

so i tricked them by telling them we'd go far

but i took them to nevada and pushed them out the car

[qcdisciple]

vaaaaseccctomyyyyy

[zbradley1990]

I like children, I think they are neat.

Having 10 children really can't be beat.

we had one more kid but it kept my wife bawlin

'Cause it turned out to look just like Colin

[101barroso]

OMG THAT SO FUNNY IF WHOSE LINE WAS IN THIS YEAR THAT HOWDOWN WOULD BE A HIT THIS ,MESSEGE IS FOR ,r8er72

[LadyNicvah]

1:41 to 1:44... hilarious, yet scarring.

[r8er72]

Me and my wife were just finished arguing

For who's taking home the kids after divorcing

Now I'm all alone, and my wife has a show I hate

We have 8 kids. My name's Jon, her name is Kate

[xbeautylovex]

@r8er72 I don't get it..

[jaywilliams3]

Sure i'm a child but i have homework

So let me say that my half-brother is a jerk

Whenever i grow up i'll make him pay

But for now i'll just yell "I'll kick you ass one day!"

[OtherRachael]

Nice perv wiggle there Collin...

[olearyciara]

Fair play to Laura :D :O

[issyme33]

Oh I am a child,

Yes you know it's fun.

I have some siblings,

But I wish I was the only one.

When my bro walks in the room,

Do I get scared? Very.

Because my brother,

Looks exaclty like Drew Carey.(:

[Charminbear01]

i really love that hoedowns :D

[PiecesofEternity]

I love children, they really are the best,

I am quite good with them, you prob'ly wouldn't guess;

But there's a reason that I like kids the most;

Turns out it's delicious when you spread their brains on toast.

[UrbanEmbassy11]

@PiecesofEternity win (:

[su6a8i]

@PiecesofEternity WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

[xerio]

just me or does Josie suit hoedowns?

[Svninja10]

I dont like Josie much

[gargalfargl]

Colin looked like a pedo after his bit

[monsterboy31]

@gargalfargl I think that's the joke.

[bsara1000]

My husband always wanted to start a family

He said to me "Honey let's have one or two or three."

A couple of years later, I did what he requested

Suddenly my husband had to be HIV tested

[FrizzKid05]

@bsara1000

FTL...not the W. That's not hoedown material.

[43fastcars]

i am the 1st child in my family

when i was born i had a mad daddy

he caught my mother in a bad atttack

both my parents are white and i came out black

[ECL28E]

My wife wants kids, I said "Sure, why not?"

Cuz last night, i was feeling really hot'

I spent the whole night with my sweet Sheryl

But I never told her, that I am sterile

[dagdogg]

1:34-1:51 Colin goes evil.

[juggalohomiez9]

Freaky colin is freaky. :P

[mollyreadsalot]

I love Laura Hall :)

[PinkPsycho92]

I totally agree with the woman!

[sevarg1028]

more bars in more places if wanye is bar 1

[lostinrosered]

@EmoAliKat in her defense she's very funny on the English version because they can get away with mire over there. The whole episode she was nervous and unsure of what she could say. That could be why it wasn't great. You are right though.

[PlutoTheSecond]

I love having children, oh don't you know,

When I'm around them it really joys me so,

Except for this one kid of mine who is kinda scary,

Because his face reminds me of Drew Carey!

[milfordplaya17]

@PlutoTheSecond Fail

[PlutoTheSecond]

@milfordplaya17 What was wrong with that? I'm surprised they didn't use it on the show.

[LordofOnionRings]

@PlutoTheSecond I really cant neg this enough

[msn1233211]

once lived a man whose name was chuck,

he had a goldfish, who he loved to fuck,

then one night he ran to the bathroom with a rush,

and what do you think he had to flush.

[nanglemania07]

da face colin makes after he sayz he haz triplets dat r all 18 yrz old iz mad funny!

[EmoAliKat]

The womens hoedown was quite boring...

[EmuMaster564]

I thought this was the chicken hoedown, dammit!

[Charminbear01]

colin!colin!colin! :D

[UltMitSinner78]

I had another kid oh what will I do

I couldn't pay the bills I was very very blue

Then a solution came relaxing in the sauna

You can Always Give them away to girl named Madonna!

[lewfc2011]

whyy do they censor the word laid? lame common