I agree with what you said about some people being more developed and a bit ahead of others thus triggering anorexia, when I was younger I read all the time really complex books for my age, then I was bullied which I think is the main cause of my Ana. Everyone Who suffers anorexia does not get it the same way, I found it as a way to control my life at first I didn't want to be thin, but it was the only way I felt in control. I didn't mean to rant sorry. I just needed to let it out...
I hope one day that you will gain weight and be healthy,Im chubby I'm always getting rejected because of it and it hurts and the sad part I don't eat alot but I'm chubby :(,anyways I'm just babbling..You are beautiful and smart so I hope you'll be better one day.
i dont know you..you have inspired me to never let mymind take over my body..we are all beutiful in out own way..it just is so hard to tell yourself that you are..no body is perfect.nobody.,..and there is so much going on in the world today..but someitmes you have to take it day by day..you have to see each day as a good day nomatter how bad it is.. eatin disorders are a disease its not something to laugh about. god bless you love
i totally agree with you that people with eating disordrs are amongst the most intelligent people really, they are so commonly misjudged and looked down upon, it's not right. i can really relate to you, of how you grew up as an adult from when you were a small child, i too have always been told,"oh you seem to speak of experience and wisdom beyond your years" and i also have this competitive personality, where i have to be the best in everything i do. i think we have many similarities
i love you...!! you are a wonderful, inspiring person. Yes, like you perhaps i am not the one who doesnt cry..i cry very often...but it has limited nowadays. I cried when i saw your episode 3...you really inspire me to be a good human being..and i hope you are fine..and very healthy and happy. Thank you so much. You are extremely kind and caring for making others aware to not fall in the same ditch in which you did. Thank you..!!
Because I cant control the mess inside me.. I'm depressed but it's a silent depression because if I cried in front of everyone, people would be disapointed because I can't handle the pressure... And I NEED to handle the pressure...
I have good grades, I speak 3 languages, I cook, I read, I do ballet, sing, play the drums and the piano, I have a clean room, I'm never mean to people, etc.
And I am only 14...
So, yes, an ED is much more than just to stop eating...
I grew up speaking, thinking, living like an adult.. Thinking of myself as an adult. My parents got divorced when I was 6, so my reaction was: I don't need them, I can take care of my own. And so I did... I have a, lets say, a need to satisfy or fill other people's and my own expectations. So I never feel like I've done enough or like I am enough because of the need to be perfect and flawless. I am obsessed with order, I need everything around me to be in its right place.
i grew up way to early as well.. i felt like i had to take care of my mom, i would come home everyday with her blacked out on the living room floor naked and she had taken so many drugs.. i was only 6 or 7 and i came home to this everyday...
You're such a sweet girl =], i really hope you're better. It's so inspiring that you want to help girls with eating disorders, and it probably helps you too to talk about your problem, but hon you've got to slap yourself away and start loving your body because you're so pretty anyways =D Best of luck.
i was talking about how kids are forced to grow up SO much faster now, and roles are getting reversed. think about it, kids education stricter and starts earlier now, divorce is highly common, kids are exposed to sex,drugs, all sorts of things once deemed only for adults. pregnancy rates among teens/preteens are rising rapidly. people are now more sick and more suicides and accidents occur. i never even thought to put it to ana. good point.
I've also grown up with people that are older than me. I'm an only child with parents who are quite a bit older than me, so i grew accustomed to having to relate to those older than me. It's strange b/c in high school I always felt like an older bystander even though I was the same age as everyone else. I'm almost done my 2nd yr of university, and i've realized i've made friends mostly with people about 4-10yrs older than me. It's cool to know i'm not the only one..
I've lived my entire life with weight problems, seriously i've been super skinny since i have memory...and it isnt cool at all..don't be stupid, i really wish i was in your position and get inside my head that food isn't the enemy...stop recording this crap, nobody actually cares about this honestly ur getting into serious trouble..stop recording you own death u asshole!...these are not fans!!...these are just people feeling sorry for u
'thin' is the life line you walk with Ana and thinner is death... And yes Ana is you, it's your Id... Take control, you are strong and intelligent, find a way... That there's a way out...
interesting thoughts there. i too grew up like an adult rather than a child. i prefered adult company to child company.
My daughter who also had an ED when very young (she was like annorexic at 2 yrs old! ), she was never like a child. (she was highly gifted so much older than her years)
I think you, who appearantly is a really bright girl, should do some kind of study about eating disorders.Well, sometime in the future about the realtions between children who grows up to quickly and self-destructive behaviors. I think you're really on to something.
I really understand ow you feel, its horrible to have a ed but it feels like an obsession..I have an ed the same one and others with ed reall understand
You are so lovely. That's exactly the way I feel. I always felt like an adult... My doctor once told me .. at the age of 8? ... that I talked like an adult. And I was just so proud of it.
I think it all begun because I started thinking in right/wrong. By the time I realized nothing is really wrong/really right, I thought only one thing is right: Thin, weightloss.....
i dont know why but i like her she is preety she is a good person inteligent strong and she is telling people to stay out of anorexia ... i think those r the reason i like her
many dream psych's say that everyone you see in your dream represents a part of who you are, since it's basically all part of your subconscious mind. So maybe you not only stayed where you were, but part of you was also the girl who left.
I know what you mean about the body perception thing...I think it's different for every person. Like for me, for example, my stomach will never be flat enough or toned enough...I never knew how to describe it until you worded it that way...and my arms will never be defined enough. I personally know I am thin enough but it's like, I can't gain an ounce...so I won't eat to make sure I don't gain anything and then I lose more weight...and then I can't gain more than what I currently weigh.
I also grew up faster than I thing I should have...
I strongly believe that it contributes to my eating disorder; The things I understood about the world-- bad and good-- were too much for me, so I take it out on my body.
shig it's a matter of inteligence not the age unfortunately
there will be milions of adult people in our lifes just not fitting to our perception. give your friends a chance to conquer the world with them not alone alone you will never achive your dreams so shear every bit with enyone in hand.
Third: I didn't really grow up too fast. I mean, I'm more emotionally mature than most people my age, but it's not like I spoke like an adult since I was 4 or anything.
Fourth: Send me a PM sometime. I'd like to hopefully become a good friend for you to talk to when you're having an off-day and such.
First: Super, you need to shut up and drop dead. Just because something's not caused by bacteria or viruses, doesn't mean it's not a disease. Ana and Bulimia are mental disorders in which the perception of one's self continuously change to make them think they can and should be skinnier, and it causes them to strive for it. I don't even care how old you are. You're ignorant and worthless to the world. You should take a class and gain the knowledge about something before making false statements.
Wow I can't believe how insensitive some of these comments are. I'm not anorexic but I can relate to the part about self-hatred. I have to ask though, why did you start? if you know what you're doing is dangerous how did you let it get out of control? What caused you to start down this path? Do you have msn? I think what you're trying to do to make people more aware is interesting. I'd like to know more. I hope the days ahead get better for you Xx
Why the fuck is this chick plastered all over YouTube like she's the Oprah of Twiggy-wannabes? Cmon people...ANOREXIS IS NOT A DISEASE -- CANCER is a fucking disease. AIDS is a goddamn disease...not Bilimia, not Anorexia. Anorexia is a BAD FUCKING HABIT just like obesity, smoking, drinking, etc. Goes hand in hand with emo kid depression.
SUCK IT UP - ALTHOUGH A FEW PITY-LOVING EMPATHETIC SISSIES WILL DISAGREE, MOST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING RAT'S ASS!
actually, i don't like the way 'super' came out to say what s/he had to say but i kinda agree with him/her. anorexic does sound more like a bad habit. i watched this girl's diary & i think she needs tough loves, sympathy is not working.i am glad that she is making an effort to grow out of it but she also needs to hear or see the truth; people are dying in others countries of starvation, it is not because they don't want to gain weigh but they can't find food.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
With enough pie you could cure thin people of being thin people because I reckon pie makes you phat, phat as in cool! I'm phat, are you?Thin people are fucking cool anyway, apparently, I like tooootally lovvveee vouuguee OMG!!!!!!! haha!
I completely agree with you about how you see yourself in the mirror. You can see when you're losing weight, but you think well that's not good enough anymore. My therapist used to tell me I can't see how thin i am and when i said actually i can but now I think this could be better. And that's the cycle that keeps happening. She looked at me as if I was talking crap.
I feel the same way you do. The PERCEPTION changes. I see myself getting thinner, but I can never feel good about myself. It's like I think I can be better.I am never satisfied.
the connection between being raised around adults and anorexia was a really interesting observation and i think it would be worth it for psychologists/psychiatrists to look into it. i'm majoring in psychology and my focus is on eating disorders, so i'm glad i found your videos. although i do hope you become well again and soon. also, if you ever need anyone to listen, i'll gladly lend an ear. take care.
I watched THIN on HBO... i felt so sorry for some of the girls.. it was so long ago i dont remember the girls names but the one that really stuck out in my mind was the girl who was a twin... she kinda reminds me of you. Because how you said that you have to be the best at everything with the egyptology. I wanted to add that with your make up you kinda look like souixsie souix. i feel the same about kids talking and acting more grown up because of how they were raised. I had similar childhood
only need accept yourself as be and,a boyfriend than put the esteem ever UP,UP,UP,c´mon,you re so pretty,stand up and take a true life,LET THIS SHIT BEHIND!!!you can if you want,so think about.kisses,please eat more,are so pretty...
if she would gain weight, because she knew it was right of her to. But maybe, i'm not sure if you are or not religous, but if you believe in god, he can help, he will take this from you so you can live and love your life.
i'm not sure if your religous or whatever, but my friend and i are christians and this really helps i promise. She was having troubles a few weeks ago, and she just prayed before she went to bed saying for god to take her eating disorder because she could not do it alone. She woke up the next morning and she felt so much better, like god heard her. She wasn't affraid to eat that day, or
your videos are amazing, your a very interesting person to listen to, and i've listened to all of your videos leading up to this one. One of my friends is trying to recover from anerexia, and i'm sure if she saw your videos it would give her that extra push to not be anymore. But i have advice for you,
lolz im not anorexic but i am mature and i can say this thoough as i am mature and most ppl here are aswell they hould know how to un anorexic urself heres how............ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR TIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR SLIM AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN SEE YOUR SKULL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TYOUR NTO PRETTY (but could be) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH so feel like being anorexic still
hey fuck u dude, who ever u are, im sure ur ugly as fuck, u should go to hell for saying that fucker, these ppl are doing brave things by trying to prevent ppl from doing this. this is comedy ass hole. get a life!
OH COME ON IVE SAID SORRY LIKE A MILLION TIMES WILL YO BASTARDS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS TRYING TO HELP if your fat then telling someone they r and making fun of them makes them think abo9ut that shit when they eat thus they dont eat i believe the same can work both ways roound now if you bastards would just SHUT THE FUCK UP and leave me in peace it woulld be greatly appreciated
wtf you didnt OH COME ON dont make me apologise again! i cant take this shit...anyway whatn do you want me to do hey gal your sexy dont gain weight...well myabe just a bit but im not lieing you are quite hot (= i apologise...there i said it HAPPY!?
dear god thankl you your like the first person to get my point thank you and also uhm whats her name....shigo i know how to gain weight! just watch supersize me and learn XD uhm but dont get addicted lol
I am 13, 14 on tuesday. And everything you just said is exactly me. I have to be the best, I am mentally older than my piers,I have a tendancy to over analize e.t.c and as you said it must be to do my depression, which to me i find is unfair.
I know exactly what you mean. I have always felt more 'mature' than my friends. I'm 18 now but my friends sometimes seem like 14 year olds still. But then, I also feel this dia need of regression, like I don't want to grow up. I want my childhood back... I want to be pure and innocent... Not sure if that makes any sense...
Most of my dreams are ED related. I hate dreams about bingeing... I hate not be 100% if they were real or not...
i totaly agree with what you said about the child anorexics acting very mature for their ages!! i watched that recently and thought the very same thing!!
I have recently created a pro-recovery forum for people suffering/recovering from an eating disorder. If you would like the url for the forum feel free to message me as Youtube won't let me post links on here.
If you dreamt that you are this "character" you have the power to let yourself go from the grip that you hold on yourself. If you can, please seek out the movie, "The Secret" and please watch it. It may help you. I wish you God speed.
i think your right. I am very young, and i have always have this feeling i'm older but stuck in a very young sick body, you know? I don't know anyone i can feel in same competent, intelligent, intellectual grade with. Imagine mu comment like genericizeme cause it was suppose to look something like that.
I agree with the Intellectual/adult thing. Even though I've always had friends my age, whenever we'd have family get together or dinner parties, I'd find it far more interesting talking to the grown ups, and hated socializing with the kids. And I've always been a deep thinker, and when I'd talk with my mom and her friend, they'd always comment on how mature my thoughts were... So I know what you mean there... x
ur comments about Anorexics being more advanced intellectually kind of offend me. i knew a girl who had an eating disorder she was very studious but ive always had a felling that that was related to her disorder, when i fast, i do so ever so often, its weird but 4 some reason i become crazy about school i think there is a connection between controlling ur food intake and feeling a need to strive for the idealbut that dos not make s u smarter or more advanced than the average person.
..she didn't say that. She said that people with anorexia are no dumber than normal people and they are intelligent in ways except for letting their illness take over them.
It's not logical to even say anorexics are smarter. Other wise if people were failing in school and were dumb they'd think "maybe if I become anorexic I'll pass school."
I loved the point you made about not seeing YOURSELF differently, but rather seeing thin differently. That's what I experience, as well.
And I also agree with your opinion of higher intellect. It frustrates me to no end when I hear things like "Anorexics are stupid" or "Why don't you just eat something" Because it seems to me that THAT is stupid, it's "stupid" that they can't understand. If we could just EAT something... then we would have by now. I wish others would understand that.
sorry to go on so, but i'm just really relating to this. I am a ballet dancer and I myself am very competitive to the point of perfectionism, but recently people have stepped in to say, "stop blaming yourself," when I punish myself as you describe. And it kind of struck a nerve because who else can I really blame for what happens in MY life? but I think what they are trying to get across is that no one is to blame, things just happen, and therefore no one needs punishing.
I know exactly how you feel. I too am a competetive dancer and when I make a mistake, or a bad move, or get injured, or anything out of my idea of perfection occurs I can't help but "punish myself" And then I'm getting the same comments things like "you're not to blame" etc... And I'm thinking... then who is? Obviously it was me who made that mistake, and me who deserves that blame.
unfortunately that's how we've been trained to think. along with sucking up any emotional repercussions of such devastating imperfections. but that kind of thought process is more detrimental in the long run because when you get hung up on the past mistakes and personal shortcomings, you can't move forward. And eventually misery prevails. I know I sound like a know-it-all or what have you, but I struggle with the same thing every day, and it helps for me to try and remember that.
You're very right. It's just really hard to deal with at times, and other's lack of understanding doesn't make anything easier. I feel I'd have better luck with "recovery" if my family and friends weren't around to constantly remind me that I'm imperfect because I have made their lives harder... seeing tears of my loved ones is a constant reminder of my imperfections, I sometimes wish they'd just leave me alone.
yeah, I feel the same way about my therapist. she's awesome and I know all she wants is for me to get better. but I feel like if I could just stop seeing her for a while I could forget about this and move on.
Personally, I think your theory of anorexics being somewhat superior in intellect is dead on. I've always spent more time with adults than children, had older friends and been interested in subjects considered advanced for my age. Maybe this abnormality leads to obsessive thoughts...make any sense?
i grew up quickly. i didn't have a choice. i was always reading, never had many friends and if i did they were older. still, i can't really connect to people my age.
Ah I just commented on another of your videos and now feel a bit silly as I thought you said you wanted to be a doctor but in this one you said you want to be an Egyptologist (sorry if that's spelt wrong)
I hate that it's so hard to get help on the NHS :( Did you ever try in Derby?
You totally explained that perception on what is thin so well. I could never explain it to people. I see myself the same way. I'm 157cm and I weigh 43kg. I can see that I'm thin, but yeah, everytime I lose weight, my perception of what is thin changes. Thanks for sharing that!
yeah, at the beginning of the video, that's pretty much how I look at myself. Like I know I'm not fat.. but I could be thinner. And my class had a discussion on EDs and all the moronic guys were saying how anorexics are stupid and psycho and shit. I wanted to say something but clearly that'd kind of make it obvious that I had an ED. ahah
that dream sounds deep. lol I cant even remember my dreams.
look up lynseys epic fall, she's not dead
skateNappreciate 9 months ago
You have a beautiful smile :)
yhalotharfabulous 1 year ago
I agree with what you said about some people being more developed and a bit ahead of others thus triggering anorexia, when I was younger I read all the time really complex books for my age, then I was bullied which I think is the main cause of my Ana. Everyone Who suffers anorexia does not get it the same way, I found it as a way to control my life at first I didn't want to be thin, but it was the only way I felt in control. I didn't mean to rant sorry. I just needed to let it out...
xTheRavensSorrowx 1 year ago
go get pregnant, thatll fix your anorexia , if you dont wanna have sex go to a spirm doner lol .
i dont know why but i know itlll fix you ( a message from god)
danielwhitman 1 year ago
I hope one day that you will gain weight and be healthy,Im chubby I'm always getting rejected because of it and it hurts and the sad part I don't eat alot but I'm chubby :(,anyways I'm just babbling..You are beautiful and smart so I hope you'll be better one day.
xxGingercookiexx 1 year ago
i dont know you..you have inspired me to never let mymind take over my body..we are all beutiful in out own way..it just is so hard to tell yourself that you are..no body is perfect.nobody.,..and there is so much going on in the world today..but someitmes you have to take it day by day..you have to see each day as a good day nomatter how bad it is.. eatin disorders are a disease its not something to laugh about. god bless you love
XoCarinaAnnxo 1 year ago
you gotta lot of sense.. hope you're okay..
MsLegendmj 1 year ago
you got a lot of sense.. hope you'll be okay..
MsLegendmj 1 year ago
i totally agree with you that people with eating disordrs are amongst the most intelligent people really, they are so commonly misjudged and looked down upon, it's not right. i can really relate to you, of how you grew up as an adult from when you were a small child, i too have always been told,"oh you seem to speak of experience and wisdom beyond your years" and i also have this competitive personality, where i have to be the best in everything i do. i think we have many similarities
xXFyreSongXx 1 year ago
i love you...!! you are a wonderful, inspiring person. Yes, like you perhaps i am not the one who doesnt cry..i cry very often...but it has limited nowadays. I cried when i saw your episode 3...you really inspire me to be a good human being..and i hope you are fine..and very healthy and happy. Thank you so much. You are extremely kind and caring for making others aware to not fall in the same ditch in which you did. Thank you..!!
butterflyfrolic 1 year ago
Because I cant control the mess inside me.. I'm depressed but it's a silent depression because if I cried in front of everyone, people would be disapointed because I can't handle the pressure... And I NEED to handle the pressure...
I have good grades, I speak 3 languages, I cook, I read, I do ballet, sing, play the drums and the piano, I have a clean room, I'm never mean to people, etc.
And I am only 14...
So, yes, an ED is much more than just to stop eating...
And it kills.
6Daniela4EverMonster 1 year ago
I grew up speaking, thinking, living like an adult.. Thinking of myself as an adult. My parents got divorced when I was 6, so my reaction was: I don't need them, I can take care of my own. And so I did... I have a, lets say, a need to satisfy or fill other people's and my own expectations. So I never feel like I've done enough or like I am enough because of the need to be perfect and flawless. I am obsessed with order, I need everything around me to be in its right place.
6Daniela4EverMonster 1 year ago
I'm looking for her. Not going well.
taija11 1 year ago
you and your dog are so pretty,
i really do hope you are alright,
your 3rd episode made me wanna cry (and i was by the end of it)
please take care of yourself,
so much love <3
thomasbaron06 1 year ago
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thomasbaron06 1 year ago
i really hope your ok ,, your such an inpiration for people with eating disorders
mrsbilleyjoe 1 year ago
i grew up way to early as well.. i felt like i had to take care of my mom, i would come home everyday with her blacked out on the living room floor naked and she had taken so many drugs.. i was only 6 or 7 and i came home to this everyday...
YourAsianFantasy 1 year ago
oh my god, but is she dead? no.. no? o.0 u.u
Maybarratu 1 year ago
oh my god, but she is dead ?
i hope no! u.u
Maybarratu 1 year ago
I cry whenever i watch these. *cries*
101baberules 1 year ago
@101baberules sorry, you know if ana is dead ? o.0
oh my god u.u
Maybarratu 1 year ago
@Maybarratu no im sorry i dont. I really hope she is ok, though.
101baberules 1 year ago
You're such a sweet girl =], i really hope you're better. It's so inspiring that you want to help girls with eating disorders, and it probably helps you too to talk about your problem, but hon you've got to slap yourself away and start loving your body because you're so pretty anyways =D Best of luck.
1118mabilen 1 year ago
i was talking about how kids are forced to grow up SO much faster now, and roles are getting reversed. think about it, kids education stricter and starts earlier now, divorce is highly common, kids are exposed to sex,drugs, all sorts of things once deemed only for adults. pregnancy rates among teens/preteens are rising rapidly. people are now more sick and more suicides and accidents occur. i never even thought to put it to ana. good point.
bruty16 1 year ago
I've also grown up with people that are older than me. I'm an only child with parents who are quite a bit older than me, so i grew accustomed to having to relate to those older than me. It's strange b/c in high school I always felt like an older bystander even though I was the same age as everyone else. I'm almost done my 2nd yr of university, and i've realized i've made friends mostly with people about 4-10yrs older than me. It's cool to know i'm not the only one..
earthlover04 2 years ago
You're one of the most intelligent and articulate people I've ever heard, and I really hope you're okay. x
xxFlourellaxx 2 years ago 8
This has been flagged as spam show
I've lived my entire life with weight problems, seriously i've been super skinny since i have memory...and it isnt cool at all..don't be stupid, i really wish i was in your position and get inside my head that food isn't the enemy...stop recording this crap, nobody actually cares about this honestly ur getting into serious trouble..stop recording you own death u asshole!...these are not fans!!...these are just people feeling sorry for u
Brururu02 2 years ago
???
I don't feel bad for her.
I think she's really pretty.
Your right though.
I'm not a fan.
I'm an admirer of
her determination.
sonnylover01 2 years ago
'thin' is the life line you walk with Ana and thinner is death... And yes Ana is you, it's your Id... Take control, you are strong and intelligent, find a way... That there's a way out...
Pictosurial 2 years ago
interesting thoughts there. i too grew up like an adult rather than a child. i prefered adult company to child company.
My daughter who also had an ED when very young (she was like annorexic at 2 yrs old! ), she was never like a child. (she was highly gifted so much older than her years)
taniaaust1 2 years ago
I think you, who appearantly is a really bright girl, should do some kind of study about eating disorders.Well, sometime in the future about the realtions between children who grows up to quickly and self-destructive behaviors. I think you're really on to something.
FatLunaNeedsThin 2 years ago 2
i completly feel the perception thing, finally someone too understand that.
glamourkillsbabyx 3 years ago
I really understand ow you feel, its horrible to have a ed but it feels like an obsession..I have an ed the same one and others with ed reall understand
sexygurlss96 3 years ago
ur amazing!! ive learned
so much 4rm you!!
much love !!
hope your better!!
-MELIZA!
mc0392 3 years ago
You are so lovely. That's exactly the way I feel. I always felt like an adult... My doctor once told me .. at the age of 8? ... that I talked like an adult. And I was just so proud of it.
I think it all begun because I started thinking in right/wrong. By the time I realized nothing is really wrong/really right, I thought only one thing is right: Thin, weightloss.....
Peoplesaybeware8992 3 years ago
I love yu; ive watched all yur videos and yur the cutest smartest girl i have ever seen yu need to keep yur head up.
yoitsmayy 3 years ago 2
i dont know why but i like her she is preety she is a good person inteligent strong and she is telling people to stay out of anorexia ... i think those r the reason i like her
hoselithaw 3 years ago
OMG i totally agree with your adult theory!
i've always been mature and got along with older people, it might have somthing to do with my ed? x :)
ThinkThinFatty 3 years ago
me gustaria saber que hablas
ya que lo hablas en ingles y no entiendo mucho
besos
Airen1307 3 years ago
solo esta hablando de como esta como se siente sigue contando de los efectos de la anorexia de q se mudo a ese apertemento o lo q sea etc etc
hoselithaw 3 years ago
many dream psych's say that everyone you see in your dream represents a part of who you are, since it's basically all part of your subconscious mind. So maybe you not only stayed where you were, but part of you was also the girl who left.
Hollandx 3 years ago
I know what you mean about the body perception thing...I think it's different for every person. Like for me, for example, my stomach will never be flat enough or toned enough...I never knew how to describe it until you worded it that way...and my arms will never be defined enough. I personally know I am thin enough but it's like, I can't gain an ounce...so I won't eat to make sure I don't gain anything and then I lose more weight...and then I can't gain more than what I currently weigh.
flowerwarchild 3 years ago
I also grew up faster than I thing I should have...
I strongly believe that it contributes to my eating disorder; The things I understood about the world-- bad and good-- were too much for me, so I take it out on my body.
Michiko147 3 years ago
Thank you so much for rambling on.
It makes me feel like I'm not alone.
I thought I was the only one who heard the voice, I don't really like talking about it to other people.
betsuny 3 years ago
shig it's a matter of inteligence not the age unfortunately
there will be milions of adult people in our lifes just not fitting to our perception. give your friends a chance to conquer the world with them not alone alone you will never achive your dreams so shear every bit with enyone in hand.
you rock ;)
raskalhc 3 years ago
Second: I WANT YOUR DOG!!!
Third: I didn't really grow up too fast. I mean, I'm more emotionally mature than most people my age, but it's not like I spoke like an adult since I was 4 or anything.
Fourth: Send me a PM sometime. I'd like to hopefully become a good friend for you to talk to when you're having an off-day and such.
XxtwiztidxdarknessxX 3 years ago
First: Super, you need to shut up and drop dead. Just because something's not caused by bacteria or viruses, doesn't mean it's not a disease. Ana and Bulimia are mental disorders in which the perception of one's self continuously change to make them think they can and should be skinnier, and it causes them to strive for it. I don't even care how old you are. You're ignorant and worthless to the world. You should take a class and gain the knowledge about something before making false statements.
XxtwiztidxdarknessxX 3 years ago
I grew up young, but not nearly as young as you.
UnevenLamp 3 years ago
*big warm tight hug*
jactivity 3 years ago 2
Wow I can't believe how insensitive some of these comments are. I'm not anorexic but I can relate to the part about self-hatred. I have to ask though, why did you start? if you know what you're doing is dangerous how did you let it get out of control? What caused you to start down this path? Do you have msn? I think what you're trying to do to make people more aware is interesting. I'd like to know more. I hope the days ahead get better for you Xx
MariaKyoto7 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
You wouldn't be "suffering" from anything if you ate a few hamburgers, grew those tits out and got yourself laid.
Damn emos.
supershwa420 3 years ago
Supershwa420 You are an awful person.
That's all i have to say.
StevenNatoli 3 years ago 3
do you realize that she hasnt signed in in two months?
prelan 3 years ago 2
Supershwa420...2 words to describe you... fcking wanker
druxit 3 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Why the fuck is this chick plastered all over YouTube like she's the Oprah of Twiggy-wannabes? Cmon people...ANOREXIS IS NOT A DISEASE -- CANCER is a fucking disease. AIDS is a goddamn disease...not Bilimia, not Anorexia. Anorexia is a BAD FUCKING HABIT just like obesity, smoking, drinking, etc. Goes hand in hand with emo kid depression.
SUCK IT UP - ALTHOUGH A FEW PITY-LOVING EMPATHETIC SISSIES WILL DISAGREE, MOST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING RAT'S ASS!
supershwa420 3 years ago
supershwa420 how old are you? if you're a kid I'll spare you the lecture of how ignorant you are.
soph7133 3 years ago
actually, i don't like the way 'super' came out to say what s/he had to say but i kinda agree with him/her. anorexic does sound more like a bad habit. i watched this girl's diary & i think she needs tough loves, sympathy is not working.i am glad that she is making an effort to grow out of it but she also needs to hear or see the truth; people are dying in others countries of starvation, it is not because they don't want to gain weigh but they can't find food.
kbotreau1 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
With enough pie you could cure thin people of being thin people because I reckon pie makes you phat, phat as in cool! I'm phat, are you?Thin people are fucking cool anyway, apparently, I like tooootally lovvveee vouuguee OMG!!!!!!! haha!
petekiddle1 3 years ago
please lisen to mee your not fat
your face is beautiful
your personality is beautiful
i no yooh can do it
=]
chantelle441 3 years ago
i don't think you're boring at all, i like listening to you talk and you telling your stories is interesting.
luckyy14 3 years ago 3
I completely agree with you about how you see yourself in the mirror. You can see when you're losing weight, but you think well that's not good enough anymore. My therapist used to tell me I can't see how thin i am and when i said actually i can but now I think this could be better. And that's the cycle that keeps happening. She looked at me as if I was talking crap.
MrsJaredJLetox 3 years ago
I feel the same way you do. The PERCEPTION changes. I see myself getting thinner, but I can never feel good about myself. It's like I think I can be better.I am never satisfied.
AzureSkyzz 3 years ago
the connection between being raised around adults and anorexia was a really interesting observation and i think it would be worth it for psychologists/psychiatrists to look into it. i'm majoring in psychology and my focus is on eating disorders, so i'm glad i found your videos. although i do hope you become well again and soon. also, if you ever need anyone to listen, i'll gladly lend an ear. take care.
briittneyy 3 years ago
P.S. you fucking suck at spelling
gankthehorde 3 years ago
i doubt that's the way she spells on her exams, etc.
since this is the internet it doesn't exactly matter as long as you get your point across.
you can tell she is intelligent by the way she talks.
what's your problem, dude? really.. get a hobby or something..
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
I watched THIN on HBO... i felt so sorry for some of the girls.. it was so long ago i dont remember the girls names but the one that really stuck out in my mind was the girl who was a twin... she kinda reminds me of you. Because how you said that you have to be the best at everything with the egyptology. I wanted to add that with your make up you kinda look like souixsie souix. i feel the same about kids talking and acting more grown up because of how they were raised. I had similar childhood
xXVanillaBlueXx 3 years ago
You're as cute as a button.
take care of yourself :)
yourhut 3 years ago
only need accept yourself as be and,a boyfriend than put the esteem ever UP,UP,UP,c´mon,you re so pretty,stand up and take a true life,LET THIS SHIT BEHIND!!!you can if you want,so think about.kisses,please eat more,are so pretty...
davis495 3 years ago
holy fuck your dog is big as hell
woot2pacisalive 3 years ago
if she would gain weight, because she knew it was right of her to. But maybe, i'm not sure if you are or not religous, but if you believe in god, he can help, he will take this from you so you can live and love your life.
God bless you.
RandomKoalas 3 years ago
i'm not sure if your religous or whatever, but my friend and i are christians and this really helps i promise. She was having troubles a few weeks ago, and she just prayed before she went to bed saying for god to take her eating disorder because she could not do it alone. She woke up the next morning and she felt so much better, like god heard her. She wasn't affraid to eat that day, or
RandomKoalas 3 years ago
Hello.
your videos are amazing, your a very interesting person to listen to, and i've listened to all of your videos leading up to this one. One of my friends is trying to recover from anerexia, and i'm sure if she saw your videos it would give her that extra push to not be anymore. But i have advice for you,
RandomKoalas 3 years ago
lolz im not anorexic but i am mature and i can say this thoough as i am mature and most ppl here are aswell they hould know how to un anorexic urself heres how............ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR TIN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOUR SLIM AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN SEE YOUR SKULL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TYOUR NTO PRETTY (but could be) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH so feel like being anorexic still
Avexle 3 years ago
FUCK OFF!!!
isthisthebathroom 3 years ago
hey if she went thin cuz of ppl laughing at her im sure it will work the other way round eh
Avexle 3 years ago
hey fuck u dude, who ever u are, im sure ur ugly as fuck, u should go to hell for saying that fucker, these ppl are doing brave things by trying to prevent ppl from doing this. this is comedy ass hole. get a life!
ddrfreakownz 3 years ago
hey if she went thin cuz of ppl laughing at her im sure it will work the other way round eh
Avexle 3 years ago
so you arent answering ha loser you know im right thus you dont answer lol
Avexle 3 years ago
you're mature? are you sure? 'cause that was pretty much the most immature, ignorant comment i've seen on youtube.
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
OH COME ON IVE SAID SORRY LIKE A MILLION TIMES WILL YO BASTARDS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS TRYING TO HELP if your fat then telling someone they r and making fun of them makes them think abo9ut that shit when they eat thus they dont eat i believe the same can work both ways roound now if you bastards would just SHUT THE FUCK UP and leave me in peace it woulld be greatly appreciated
Avexle 3 years ago
yes. it can. which can also lead to SUICIDE.
bullying someone into doing something isn't helping them, it's making them worse.
and i never saw your apology.
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
wtf you didnt OH COME ON dont make me apologise again! i cant take this shit...anyway whatn do you want me to do hey gal your sexy dont gain weight...well myabe just a bit but im not lieing you are quite hot (= i apologise...there i said it HAPPY!?
Avexle 3 years ago
no, i didn't.. because i don't read all of the comments.
but telling her not to gain weight isn't good either.
she doesn't want to be anorexic. so she wants to gain weight, but can't.
i understand you're just trying to help so i'll just forget about it.
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
dear god thankl you your like the first person to get my point thank you and also uhm whats her name....shigo i know how to gain weight! just watch supersize me and learn XD uhm but dont get addicted lol
Avexle 3 years ago
it's not as easy as that. there's a lot more to it than that.
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
and that stuff would be... its simple to me eat more =- get sexy and full and happy its a pretty easy decision
Avexle 3 years ago
what?
no, it's not simple. i said there's far much more to just picking up food and eating it.
anorexia just doesn't go away.
anorexia is not just the act of not eating, there's more to it than that.
and what you find attractive isn't what everyone else finds attractive.
MagicalCheeseMuffin 3 years ago
I am 13, 14 on tuesday. And everything you just said is exactly me. I have to be the best, I am mentally older than my piers,I have a tendancy to over analize e.t.c and as you said it must be to do my depression, which to me i find is unfair.
RaarTim 3 years ago
thats like me only im 14 and justbb turned 15 but im not depressed must been crying home to alot of money is a healthy qway of not bein deppressesd
Avexle 3 years ago
I know exactly what you mean. I have always felt more 'mature' than my friends. I'm 18 now but my friends sometimes seem like 14 year olds still. But then, I also feel this dia need of regression, like I don't want to grow up. I want my childhood back... I want to be pure and innocent... Not sure if that makes any sense...
Most of my dreams are ED related. I hate dreams about bingeing... I hate not be 100% if they were real or not...
xxx
PlobyR 3 years ago
I know what you mean about perceptions of weight.
And I think I'm growing up thinking like an adult... but I dont know...
I feel like it...
I really love your videos, by the way, and you don't ramble- everything you say is reall interesting!
mcrfannumber3000 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Anyone ever tell you that you look like a Deathrocker? I guess you do without trying to.
halcyonlurker 3 years ago
I Think you're amazing!!
shazzyblah 3 years ago 7
i totaly agree with what you said about the child anorexics acting very mature for their ages!! i watched that recently and thought the very same thing!!
halobaby15 3 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I have recently created a pro-recovery forum for people suffering/recovering from an eating disorder. If you would like the url for the forum feel free to message me as Youtube won't let me post links on here.
Take care :)
Pinklucy38 3 years ago
i love you
xfirio3 3 years ago 2
If you dreamt that you are this "character" you have the power to let yourself go from the grip that you hold on yourself. If you can, please seek out the movie, "The Secret" and please watch it. It may help you. I wish you God speed.
NightshadeFaerie69 3 years ago
you're very articulate
margittarget 3 years ago
listening to you say the same things im thinking is like talking on the phone with my best friend, though i've never done that, heh.
therealdesdemona 3 years ago
i think your right. I am very young, and i have always have this feeling i'm older but stuck in a very young sick body, you know? I don't know anyone i can feel in same competent, intelligent, intellectual grade with. Imagine mu comment like genericizeme cause it was suppose to look something like that.
cumcoma 3 years ago
I agree with the Intellectual/adult thing. Even though I've always had friends my age, whenever we'd have family get together or dinner parties, I'd find it far more interesting talking to the grown ups, and hated socializing with the kids. And I've always been a deep thinker, and when I'd talk with my mom and her friend, they'd always comment on how mature my thoughts were... So I know what you mean there... x
ataiz182 3 years ago
ur comments about Anorexics being more advanced intellectually kind of offend me. i knew a girl who had an eating disorder she was very studious but ive always had a felling that that was related to her disorder, when i fast, i do so ever so often, its weird but 4 some reason i become crazy about school i think there is a connection between controlling ur food intake and feeling a need to strive for the idealbut that dos not make s u smarter or more advanced than the average person.
RussiangirlNY 3 years ago
she didn't say that.
londonchick 3 years ago
..she didn't say that. She said that people with anorexia are no dumber than normal people and they are intelligent in ways except for letting their illness take over them.
It's not logical to even say anorexics are smarter. Other wise if people were failing in school and were dumb they'd think "maybe if I become anorexic I'll pass school."
lol wow.
xoxAngelFirexox 3 years ago
I loved the point you made about not seeing YOURSELF differently, but rather seeing thin differently. That's what I experience, as well.
And I also agree with your opinion of higher intellect. It frustrates me to no end when I hear things like "Anorexics are stupid" or "Why don't you just eat something" Because it seems to me that THAT is stupid, it's "stupid" that they can't understand. If we could just EAT something... then we would have by now. I wish others would understand that.
NightimeNecrosis 3 years ago
sorry to go on so, but i'm just really relating to this. I am a ballet dancer and I myself am very competitive to the point of perfectionism, but recently people have stepped in to say, "stop blaming yourself," when I punish myself as you describe. And it kind of struck a nerve because who else can I really blame for what happens in MY life? but I think what they are trying to get across is that no one is to blame, things just happen, and therefore no one needs punishing.
genericizeme 3 years ago
Genericizeme--
I know exactly how you feel. I too am a competetive dancer and when I make a mistake, or a bad move, or get injured, or anything out of my idea of perfection occurs I can't help but "punish myself" And then I'm getting the same comments things like "you're not to blame" etc... And I'm thinking... then who is? Obviously it was me who made that mistake, and me who deserves that blame.
NightimeNecrosis 3 years ago
unfortunately that's how we've been trained to think. along with sucking up any emotional repercussions of such devastating imperfections. but that kind of thought process is more detrimental in the long run because when you get hung up on the past mistakes and personal shortcomings, you can't move forward. And eventually misery prevails. I know I sound like a know-it-all or what have you, but I struggle with the same thing every day, and it helps for me to try and remember that.
genericizeme 3 years ago
You're very right. It's just really hard to deal with at times, and other's lack of understanding doesn't make anything easier. I feel I'd have better luck with "recovery" if my family and friends weren't around to constantly remind me that I'm imperfect because I have made their lives harder... seeing tears of my loved ones is a constant reminder of my imperfections, I sometimes wish they'd just leave me alone.
NightimeNecrosis 3 years ago
yeah, I feel the same way about my therapist. she's awesome and I know all she wants is for me to get better. but I feel like if I could just stop seeing her for a while I could forget about this and move on.
genericizeme 3 years ago
Personally, I think your theory of anorexics being somewhat superior in intellect is dead on. I've always spent more time with adults than children, had older friends and been interested in subjects considered advanced for my age. Maybe this abnormality leads to obsessive thoughts...make any sense?
genericizeme 3 years ago
I love your dog - Bandit is so cute ^_^
I've been following your blogs, I wish you all the best of luck. Stay strong, you're so beautiful
x x x
sabsydoodle 3 years ago
being alone always made my ed worse.. you already know what its going to do.. just remember people love you. be careful
rachelbug04 3 years ago
i grew up quickly. i didn't have a choice. i was always reading, never had many friends and if i did they were older. still, i can't really connect to people my age.
rachelbug04 3 years ago
Ah I just commented on another of your videos and now feel a bit silly as I thought you said you wanted to be a doctor but in this one you said you want to be an Egyptologist (sorry if that's spelt wrong)
I hate that it's so hard to get help on the NHS :( Did you ever try in Derby?
x
EmbracingLife 3 years ago
You totally explained that perception on what is thin so well. I could never explain it to people. I see myself the same way. I'm 157cm and I weigh 43kg. I can see that I'm thin, but yeah, everytime I lose weight, my perception of what is thin changes. Thanks for sharing that!
Espritgypsy1 4 years ago
yeah, at the beginning of the video, that's pretty much how I look at myself. Like I know I'm not fat.. but I could be thinner. And my class had a discussion on EDs and all the moronic guys were saying how anorexics are stupid and psycho and shit. I wanted to say something but clearly that'd kind of make it obvious that I had an ED. ahah
that dream sounds deep. lol I cant even remember my dreams.
che1zz 4 years ago