answer to Mommyto2miracles (telling kids theyre autistic)

[applemarky]

There is a book called "when my autism gets too big" which has been excellent in our boy understanding himself.

[jillra65]

...I was then surprised to find that many of them had autism to a degree and were afraid to admit it with fear of being bullied themselves. It saddened me that these kids feared being who they are.

[Happyautism]

I agree, it depends on the child.

My eldest wouldnt understand what i ment even if i did tell him.

However he is VERY interestend in a ''what is autism'' pamphlet we have in the house, and its now become a great favorite of his!

He now recognise the word autism, the national autistic log, and enjoys the little pictures.

So i am leaving at this for now, its obviously what he is interested in at this point.

[lordalfredhenry]

I think the only criteria for me is whether the kid will understand the verbal meaning and even then....when we're dealing with autistics, one never really knows how much is absorbed when perhaps not a lot is expressed. But what to do with the label afterwards, really should be up to the child and I agree, they shouldn't be a pawn and expected to hold it. But knowing is better than not from a kid's pov if they have natural self-inquisitiveness in any fashion.

[whitequeen96]

As you say, each child is different, so I'm just talking about mine. I'm glad he knows, because he is learning how to handle it and prevent problems, just like a kid with asthma or diabetes would. He's learned to say, "I need to cool my engines," and go into a quiet room.

Most importantly, he knows that I AM SO PROUD OF HIM FOR THE WONDERFUL KID HE IS!

[PhilCommander2]

great points whitequeen96! thanks for the comments :)

[whitequeen96]

These are the things that influence the way he sees his autism. Sometimes he'll mention an awful melt-down he had years ago, and I might say, "That was when your autism was bothering you, but you don't do that anymore, and I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!" He knows everyone is different, and struggles with our own issues. In that way, he is the same as anyone.

[whitequeen96]

When my son was 4, he heard the doctor say it. So, since then, it has just been a normal fact of life, with good and bad points. He has an incredible memory, and is very good at art and puzzles. He must be careful not to get overly-stimulated, too hungry or tired. He's a very special person!

[TruthUnderYourNose]

tattoos and beer? Phil! people might think you're a real person! LOL :)

[PhilCommander2]

NOOOOO! you got it all wrong...those are magic marker drawings i let jake do on me and that is soda pop! ;)

[jon2xu]

yeah you shot out now but you be right after that beer.You gettin your head right.yeah you right!

[PhilCommander2]

I also want to say that those who do tell their child that they are autistic are certainly not always telling them to use them as a pawn in a cause. I just dont feel that 'a cause' should ever come into the decision to tell or not tell a child they are autistic.

[jillra65]

I don't think my son understands his autism. I have considered making a social story about it to help him understand why he can feel frustrated and struggles to communicate. He had no idea that he had autism until earlier this year after being bullied online. I had to step in and explain to the other kids that he had autism and he saw it. continued...