How do u want to be valued as a black man or women

[BruhMan09]

Another good video Pink. As long as I am valued as a productive black man then I'm cool. As for superficial stuff (i.e. money, looks, etc) it doesn't matter to me

[reak123st]

see i dont agree wit what u talking becuz u have to go off look be4 anything becuz if u dont know the person what u have to go off of now a yr later and the person talking about that then something wrong

[kimmaytube]

pink, I have a question for you. When you say that other races of women you've dated seem to to value you more for your character than black women--could it be that they are indeed "fetishsizing" just as much as black women are, but they have to be more discreet about it as not to offend?

Could it be cultural--that black people may feel a level of comfort to make certain comments (about looks) to one another?

Just a thought.

[pinkkelephant]

i'll put it to u like this i do think that maybe they do fetishsize just as much and maybe more but hide it. But they still seem to value character somewhat more than just looks. it were just about the physical then i would have also seen non-blk wn in college dating or messing around with men who were not in that grouping. But i only saw blk wn doing that. (not all of course) but yea. i feel like if the blk wm truly valued character then we would not be competing against men not in colleg.

[kimmaytube]

hey pink,

I see your point. And I won't deny that I don't notice the same things you do. It isn't much different when making friends. You know, wondering the intentions behind people wanting to befriend you.

I have to say, I believe much of it is cultural & some of it is maturity. For some, it is all about hobbies, shared interests because their parents always had them involved in activities-so socially, some are trained to be conscious of sharing their info & asking you about yours...

[kimmaytube]

...(cont) so keep in mind that black people are trained to socialize differently. People sometimes shy away from meaningful discussions for fear of appearing "too square". It is dumb, I know. But we have a VERY superficial culture in America- so for black folks, who seem most influenced by it, come off even more shallow.

I'm just saying. Some of our folks are "late bloomers". As we age & experience life (hopefully) we see greater value in each other & learn to better express it. :-)

[pinkkelephant]

i hear u.

[Catsie15]

i rtather be valued as just a woman period

[fairguynova]

...me too. See more BW who fit into that category than other women...

[moebigsley1976]

Pink, you definately got it. On a whole we all got to wise up, and improve our own characters, and look into others characters. We got to stop being so shallow.

[abamieda2]

While my husband is a very attractive man,I would have told him to keep it moving if he wasn't

intelligent,educated with the potential to be a good family man and provider .A good physique does not put money in the bank nor food on the table. Even if a man is a Idris Elba look alike this counts for very little if you can barely afford the necessities of life

[fairguynova]

He still has to be tall though...

[bevon17]

I'm so happy that some one can put my feelings into words.

I keep wanting to say

"women don't understand me and where I"m coming from."

I feel like they undermine all my qualities and only care that I dress nice, and am a black male with a nice physical appearance.

Also I would not like to be with a girl who is willing to accept me NOT appreciating her for being worth anything more than 2 boobs and a vagina.