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From: kermodeandmayo
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  • 'Da Vinci Code' was at least watchable for a run of the mill thriller(masquerading as a smart, inventive one). But THIS film was absolute shit. Nobody could even say this was good and keep a straight face surely. And poor Ewan & Tom, they know they could do better than this...

  • I FUCKING HATE this douche... pretentious much???

  • @ComandoPadentro

    No, Kermode is the opposite of pretentious, and that's what makes him great.

    Deal with it.

  • Not being able to make a cup of tea for a minute, would be a disaster Dr

  • This film and DaVinci Code was completely miscast. Robert Langdon should have been played by Kevin Kline.

  • Love that this got a guy from a coma.

  • hoping this can save more lifes

  • Terrible film...really bad...

  • The melody that starts at 2.54 sounds like it's ripped off the Suspiria theme.

  • Intergalactically stupid. I love that phrase.

  • the film was shit, but I read the book when I was 16 or so, and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you hadn't read the book, the film would've made a lot less sense.

  • 17 people are still in a coma.

  • I don't know who is to blame. the director or Dan Brown. If this is scene by scene of the book with characters just explaining the plot, then the book is too blame but yeah this review is classic. he nailed it.

  • Dan Brown is so dumb he doesn't know that you cannot store antimatter particles in a vessel made of matter - they would annihilate each other. So the idea of antimatter in a test tube is just utterly laughable and ill-informed. As I understand it, the only way to contain antimatter is with plasma, and/or magnetic fields.

  • @sulijoo I believe in the book he explains that the anti-matter is being held in place by two opposing magnets or something, and as the canister has been stolen from the CERN labs it had limited battery power for the magnets, and once they ran out, ka-boom etc.

  • I think as bad as the film is, if when i left the cinema if you told me that the film was 146 mins long, i wouldnt believe you. The time flies by...

    Mind you, if you asked me to descibe the storyline, i would fail at that also...

    Still, its great to see Tom Hanks, as well as the other cast playing the film with a straight bat, no sense that this is silly, even after said "helicopter scene" with a certain amount of "Anti matter", and a certain amount of parachute...

  • I'm amazed how few views this has had. It's a classic review.

  • It is intergalactically stupid.

  • That last statement was awsome. Very good counter point.

  • i think what made it worse is that the fucken leader of illuminati Max Koaler, wasnt in the fucken movie i was like what the fuck is this shit

  • @chrisandwhitechapel you should punch yourself in the throat, you illiterate fuck

  • @jacktalbot lolumadbro?

  • @chrisandwhitechapel haveyougotaspacebarbro?

  • @jacktalbot nawbro

  • sorry, what is exposition?

  • @SweetMintPie555 Explanation.

  • It's kind of hypocritical that Kermode is complaining about exposition in this movie and yet he loves Inception which is even worse in that regard. He can be quite biased at times.

  • @BigBoss7777777 I think the trade-off is that the expository dialogue in "Inception" was presented in scenes that were shot and acted in an interesting, dynamic way. With "Angels and Demons", it was just running and explaining. Booooooring.

  • "the unknown illuminati master?" has got to be the most cumbersome phrase i've ever heart

  • @psionicman Heart what now?

  • I agree with everything he says

  • What is the big hilarious reveal?

  • bless ewan mcgregor, i love him but this monologue is hilarious:D

  • As people have already said anti matter annihilates when it comes into contact with matter so how on earth would it be stored in a vial. Dan Brown apparently hasn’t realised that anti matter has been created and studied for quite some time now. Its problem isn’t that it’s going to blow up the earth, instead scientists have trouble studying it because as soon as you create it pff it’s gone. My physics professor likes to rant about ignorant journalists. And really, the media have got it all wrong.

  • Ewan really gets some horrible roles. Throughout this movie, I had to keep myself from shouting "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU FROM?!"

  • Intergalacticly stupid! hahahah I love Mark, hes such an awesome guy.

  • KErmode you were lucky, I was taken as a teenager to rome on holiday, just to follow the fucking route they took in the film, you know when tourists have maps that stand out like a strobe light, well my mum ahd the angels and demons book, worst holiday of my life and to make matters worse my mum thought i was being selfish, when i was happy enough to stay at home

  • This movie was pretty bad. I completely agree with Kermode on this one

  • Is this the famous miracle rant that helped the guy out of the coma?

  • @Karengulu that's the one! It was my favorite review long before I even knew it had healing powers.

  • @Karengulu

    Yep, lol.

  • @Karengulu No, that was the DaVinci Code.

  • In that clip Ewan McGregor is still deciding on his accent WHILE delivering his lines!

  • I feel better already, this rant really can create miracles

  • after mark's primer, listening to the clip from the movie cracked me up thoroughly

  • @Gandalfgrey93 : Because that's his job? A movies job isn't to sit and explain every little thing to us - it's suppose to tell us a story and let us bring our own judgement to what is going on.

    You're pretty much usless with this argument, understand the two differences here. Please.

  • @Gandalfgrey93 your a complete dick !!! u shitfuck !

  • I’ve watched, The Da Vinci Code…lost count? I’ve only seen Angels & Demons, once on DVD. Both are entertaining kinder like modern day Indiana Jones. Brilliantly filmed and Dolby stereo 6trcak digital is top notch.

    Obi Wan plays a bad boy in this.

  • ''Angels and Demons'' was better than ''The DaVinci Code'' although i thought they were both good. tom hanks is a brilliant actor and both films were refeshingly different.

  • @ec123456789able

    Try reading Robert Anton Wilson's "Illuminatus"

  • HAHA

    Ewan's voice

  • "So Thunderbirds" is right.

  • @zionravescene I think I'd actually prefer that at this point. Not even a "Thunderbirds" film (like the awful Jon Frakes film), just some puppets having adventures and what not.

  • Oh my god! That's what I have been saying all the time.

    "The illuminati are going to kill the pope with anti-matter... But Star Trek is for nerds..."

  • 'who's driving the boat...' does anyone know what it is reference to?

  • @orwell98 I think its a Bond movie where theres a massive fight going on with everyone on the boat, yet the boat keeps going straight. Hence, who's driving the boat?

  • @Tbass17 Cheers

  • @orwell98 I don't think it's Bond, I think it's Liam Neeson's Taken. Neeson's daughter is taken and he has to get her back essentially. The ending takes place on a boat.

  • I was once ranting about the awful shit dan brown is allowed to call writing only to be told by not 1 but 2 good friends that 'nah it aint that bad mate , its actually pretty good' I couldnt bring myself to point out the gaping flaws in there argument, now instead i keep a little bit of secret hatred for them at the back of my mind .

    i hate mayo but 'the kermode/ mayo' combo is rather charming

  • Very well observed by Mayo, Kermode's description was a bit Izzard-esque

  • "And is this all delivered as Eddie Izzard."

    I wanna see Eddie explain Angels and Demons in his next stand up.

  • @DontTouchMyVicodin "If we don't find the bomb by midnight the Vatican is going to be filled with jam!"

  • Finally saw A and D a year to the day after this reviews. Dr K so on the money.

  • 0:37-0:46 is just flat out hilarious

  • "it is intergalatically stupid" hahahahahaha

  • This review was dead on. Why did they never explain the motive of the villain? I know it's in the book, but the movie didn't even bother.

  • lol INTERGALACTICALLY stupid. Kermode rules.

  • Where was the antimatter before it was in the tube? Who put it in there and how'd he do it?

  • Dan Brown writes sentences like "The famous man looked at the red cup."

  • Yeah, no wonder it's 600 fucking pages long with that kind of detail!

  • a fellow stewart lee fan i see

  • @RockBottomRiser21 and you write things said by stewart lee?

  • @RockBottomRiser21 Stewart Lee ! :D

  • I love it when people make conclusions about films without actually watching it. Like when there was uproar about Trainspotting when everyone said it "glorified" drug-use. Which is does not in any way.

  • I didn't see the film, but I have a hard time believing the part where antimatter is supposedly hidden under the Vatican in a test tube. Didn't anyone tell Darren Brown that antimatter can't be stored in ANYTHING, except maybe a magnetic field? As soon as the antimatter touched the test tube...BOOM. End of the film. Fucking moronic.

  • I think it's suspended by magnets. Still retarded, though.

  • Good review. I loved the book a couple of years ago, as I loved The Da Vinci Code before it, simply by forgetting how silly the whole plot is. It's also amazingly exciting. Trying to realize all this into a movie just won't work since you can actually see and hear how silly it all is. The book at least told the silly story at a decent pace and i was able to go with it. Stuff like this should be read, not seen, as you would believe even less of it.

  • "This movie is so The Thunderbirds" - lol

  • It was an awful film. I can't disagree with anything he's said.

  • haha...I love Kermode

  • right on mark-stupid . on the positive side the cinematography and costumes/ set construction are 1st rate

  • in the book it had a timer not a fucking bar and the time played a crucial part, in the book she couldnt change the battery so they point out they need it by 11 as it would take an hour to get it back to switzerland to put it back in its charger so when it goes past 11 you actually wonder if they find it what will they do, also Olivetti is the detective in the film and dies at the fire one and a chracter in the book called Konig reveals it all as he met the pope then 2 days later he died

  • i was on the floor at "DR Robert Dingydong"

  • Ugh, Dan brown's books annoy me, they distract from the more salient aspects of the world of conspiracy theories. It's for kiddy-vinkies.

    Read the Illuminatus Trilogy, by Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea, at the very least, you shan't be bored.

  • Ewan McGregor is Hilariously bad in that clip. Jaysus

  • @madammao idd

  • It's his show what the heck are you talking about?

  • wow, he has his own show!? thats amazing, Mayo is so unlikeable, such a dull man. Check out those minuses, sorry if I offended anyone but I swear that guy doesnt have to be there for kermodes reviews...he doesnt add anything but sarcastic and interruptive comments.

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  • yeah, your right. I agree :)

  • @hippotoast

    So, in other words, they form sort of a Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson pair? :)

  • How does Mark Kermode keep that head of hair the way it is all the time? It has to be a rug!

  • @jazz4 I think he's just.....dead pan. I find him amusing

  • It's quite awkward WITHOUT Mayo, he sorta represents the not-so-literate moviegoing public.

  • Tulse - You have either been brainwashed by his self adulating half-hour with his irritating sidekick or his transformation into the supercilious newsnight review Kermode. You merely point out his inconsistancies. Either that or you are he.

  • Wow, Evan McGregor overacting at best.

  • Then why did he give Star Trek a glowing review and praise it as "tremendous fun?" Why is he championing the Harry Potter franchise? You shouldn't talk about somebody you know nothing about.

  • LOL... he says "stupidest"

  • I agree with everything the guy said about Dan Brown... He has as much talent as Heather Graham has... And that's saying something... They both write like 13 year-olds...

  • haha shut up! don't pretend you know anything about film, as soon as you said the word 'good' anywhere near angel's and demon's you became a film pig. you clearly have no understanding of film, you just like quick fast paced pieces of shit where priests (Ewan McGregor) can fly helicopters, it is embarrassing! I don't think your qualified to have a go at a man who clearly understands film, with an opinion like that. Literally everyone with half a brain cells knows angel's was a joke.

  • GI priest funnist part in a movie i have seen in years, random and stupid, movie over all laugh most of the time through it ^ - ^

  • "You are a man of great faith. You believe, though you have not seen."

    Genius!

  • "A chair is a useful invention invited as we know incidentally to accommodate the kitchen table that was invented by Jesus in THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST in that comedy scene" - LOL

  • Kermode later (or was it earlier) mentioned in a podcast that though A&D was utterly stupid, it was still passably entertaining and alluded that it was not films like this that were pushing him towards retiring from his film critic career but another film called "Bride Wars" or something.

  • He's unnecessarily scathing at times but he does it in such a humorous and accurate manner who is spot on most of the time. The quip regarding Armin Mueller Stahl in particular had me laughing and nodding in acknowledgement simultaneously.

    Angels and Demons was a poor film that was bereft of any excitement or tension, while riddled by some bad acting by Ewan 'Empire Icon' McGregor. I'd say it's worse than Da Vinci Code, which while aking an unsuccessful transition, was more watchable for me

  • what is peoples problems with Kermode this is his job, he is supposed to be passionate about films he's a FILM CRITIC!!, bloody hell if you don't agree with his opinions fine, god knows I love him, but I will never agree him with on Mamma Mia but I don't vilify him for being wrong! :)

  • I think the movie was great. A perfect mix of symbols and ancion and overall very good. I know it is very unlikely for this to happen, but it's a movie! What do we have movies for!?

  • 'why does one of the greatest actors of all time choose to do bone movies'

    because he's a long, long, long, long, looooooooooooooooooooooooooonn­nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg way from being one of the best actors of all time.

    Forrest Gump = shittest, ovverrated film and performance ever.

  • Sorry but Forrest Gump was a GREAT performance, the MOVIE was overrated though.

  • This guy is freaking great. Nobody this right on and entertaining in the states.

  • So, he didn't like it then?

  • How come he looks like Nick Faldo with Mark Lamarr's old haircut?

  • why does one of the greatest actors of all time choose to do bone movies

  • 3:16 Clark Kent 3:18 Super Reviewer!

  • Can I get peanut butter here?

  • Tbh I thought Ewan wasnt doing an accent lol.

    I knew he was supposed to be Irish even though the original character was Italian or whatever but in the the film it was just Ewan's normal accent except when he said "senori" or whatever.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising him, I adore Ewan McGregor, he's my favourite actor, that's why I was like grrrr when Kermode brought his accent up lol.

    At least he was doing his normal accent rather than a bad Irish one lol..

  • hahahaha it is an excellent film! haha 2001 is and EXCELLENT film not this shit hahaha

  • He says it's stupid because it makes no sense.

  • "Tell me, based on this clip where he's from?"

    LOL! I have no idea.

  • I live Ewan.. but even after I found out what the accent was meant to be, I still couldn't hear it lmao,,

    Kermode speaks the truth =] In a very amusing fashion.

  • to be honest i rally enjoyed angels and demons and i thought that it was well made. But i agree that the books are badly written.

    P.S The kidnapped movie was called

    Taken

  • i agree with him....i was furious after seeing the movie....i couldn't stop ranting for like an hour....i think the only reason they tampered with the story of the book is so that the church wont get offended...and it was funny...the end was shocking and funny!

  • The excessive explaining is very annoying. That's why I can't stand watching american crime shows like CSI.

  • You don't like the movie,you don't watch it

    You won't critisize the opinion of others though

  • I found a website where you can watch Angels & Demons movie for FREE! Check it out!

    MOVIEM[replacewithdot]TV/drama­/angels-demons/

  • Dan Brown is one of the biggest hacks of the last 20 years.

  • @TheSilhouette as usual, the biggest hacks make the most moneys :)

  • the best part of this review is reading the comments of people who defend hack writers like dan brown, not to mention people so insecure about their own half pined opinions that they will take it all out on the good doctor, who is, AS USUAL, completely correct in his assessment of an obviously vapid and mindlessly stupid movie. KERMODE FOR THE WIN, YET AGAIN.

  • You missed Kermode's point entirely.

  • Stephen Fry on Dan Browns books:

    "Arse gravy of the worse kind."

    Are you going to accuse him of having a low IQ also?

  • You're an idiot. Mark Kermode is one of the most important film critics around at the moment. He knows film inside out, and has a real passion for it. I've not seen this film, but if it is anything like the Da Vinci Code, Mark Kermode is probably correct. Plus, he's reviewing the FILM not the book, who cares if he's not read it? He's better off not reading it a anyway.

  • The best is Peter Travers mainly because he doesn't let his bias get in the way of ratings. He understands that film structure is more important than his feelings towards a film.

    Kermode is good for laughs, Ebert makes you think, but both are guilty of allowing their feelings to rate a film.

  • Films are an art form- you have to involve your feelings in any assessment of their worth.

    This film IS stupid. Just 'cos Dan Brown's read about renaissance art on wikipedia it doesn't mean he knows what he's talking about.

  • how is the film Brown's fault....

    There's no need to insult Brown because someone took his film and made it shtty.

    Although I do agree with Kermode on one thing, Brown doesn't have any capacity for written dialogue.

    Emotions are no way to judge the technicalities of a film. My point was that Peter Travers understands the difference between his opinion and what the film actually is. That to me is a very professional thing to do and why he's working at Rolling Stone and not radio.

  • There's no need to insult Brown, it's just fun. And the plot is his fault.

    Also, if a film is supposed to be serious and exciting, but it inspires feelings of mirth and derision, then it's failed on some fundamental level hasn't it?

  • I never insulted Brown, I'm a huge fan, I can never put his stuff down. I think it as interesting though to point out that flaw about his literature because it doesn't seem to make a good on screen transition.

    As for inspiring feelings, that has nothing to do with writing critique. Film critique isn't really about feelings. I hated Atonement but I recognize it as a well presented, well made film. I simply don't think Kermode is objective enough when he critiques films, damn entertaining though

  • Sorry, I meant I was insulting Brown. Because I felt like it.

    Film critique is absolutely about feelings. Any film that doesn't have an emotional impact is worthless, and any film that makes the wrong impact has messed up somewhere.

  • Oh alright, do as you please, I can understand why people dislike him.

    I don't think it's about feelings...

    Sorry but I have to disagree, it's a profession and one must act in a professional manner. Anyone can gush over a film, but talking about the symbolism, the plot, the characters, the central meaning, and the artistic value are very difficult things to understand. A film is a story that is to be analyzed, if you happen to feel emotion while doing it that's a different story.

  • Kermode has done that many times. Check out his review for The Boat That Rocked. He acknowledged that it was a badly made mess of a film but admitted that he enjoyed it in spite of himself. That's a perfect example of a critic separating his feelings from the technicalities of the film.

    As for Peter Travers, he's a whore who writes exclusively in catchphrases so he can get his name on posters. I see your point but a better example would be Roger Ebert.

  • Yea but not all the time and that's a problem because that's the whole point of film review.

    whore? Who cares, he gives films the correct rating. I already acknowledged the fact that he was sht at analysis.

    So is Kermode by the way, sometimes he's funny, but sometimes he's just irritating.

  • I disagree. Obviously he has his biases but who doesn't? He always explains what the film is about in thematic terms, he discusses the ends that the filmmaking techniques achieve, and he isn't needlessly hyperbolic like Travers who seems to rave about absolutely everything. And that is a problem. It further serves to dumb down film criticism and leads to more Ben Lyons' in the world.

  • Yea and I think it gets in the way of his reviews, sorry but there are many examples of films he's called good and terrible that were clearly the opposite, based on stupid reasons. Travers usually never even states whether he likes a film. Thematic terms essentially mean nothing. Movies aren't about themes, some of the best made films have no real themes, The Sound of Music? I can't think of one theme in that film. Film making is about technique, pacing, it's a story.

  • My problems with Kermode have nothing to do with his taste in film, in has to do with his style of critique. Sometimes Travers will barely talk about a film, or write about a film. He always manages to give a proper rating to one however, rarely are his ratings ever wrong.

    In the end the banter is humorous, but I want a rating. Rating to me means everything, it's essentially grading a film. Travers even though he's suckish at reviewing is great at grading.

  • I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I love Kermode's reviews, he's hilarious and brings up great points. That's why I mentioned that he's like Ebert. However he could be a little better, no one's perfect. You're taking this too personally, it's constructive criticism, I'm not destroying his skills as a critic. He's one of my faves, he's just not the best.

  • I'm not taking it personally, I'm just engaging in a debate. Don't get me wrong either, I'm no Kermode fanboy. I've disagreed with his reviews a number of times, but I'd still take his views over any other critics.

    And I don't like grades or ratings but that's just me.

  • Sorry but you seemed slightly hostile about the whole thing, Perhaps that was just me(oy vey, huge test due tomorrow so I'm a bit antsy) I was being purely objective as well.

    I think Travers understands what makes a good story better than Kermode for the reasons I stated. This is of course my opinion btw.

  • If I seemed hostile, it's only because these videos are often populated by idiots who don't know anything about Kermode's views and like to generalize about him. It's tiresome. Not saying you're anything like that but sometimes it's hard to tell. Moving on. Good luck on your test.

  • Generalize? Not at all, i enjoy him a great deal and find his reviews insightful. I just always find something a bit off about his interviews and I found out what it was for me.

    yea...there are plenty of morons on youtube...the koolest invention ever made in the hands of utter morons,

  • thank god someone knows what they are talking about!

  • No - he just doesn't read literary chewing gum like the shitty doorstoppers that Dan Brown writes.

  • I remember when kermode was reviewing Atonement he said he'd read and loved the book.

    In terms of dumbness Brown takes Mcewan hands down.

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