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  • This was posted on my 9th birthday :)

  • Then may I kill anybody in Europe who doesn't look like me?

  • Well now, that's strange... Why does it skip from 3:59 straight to 4:01... wanting punishment?

  • First Hank offends the Tobians on Vlogbrothers and then he offends the Romanies on Assassins Creed, when will the discrimination stop?

  • Penicillin? The man who discovered that ( Alexander Fleming) Lived two towns away from me :) GO IRVINE VALLEY NERDFIGHTERS!

  • Last time he mentions politics. LIAR!

  • It makes me laugh that John is completely incorrect as to the both locations of the doobly-doo, as it's now below his face.

  • The plague was not spread by rats. It was spread by fleas.

  • @hayhay509 Which were spread by rats.

  • @Penthaligon And humans. And just about anyone else with hair.

  • The medieval scholastics never actually discussed how many angels could dance on the head of a pin. That was a rumour spread by Protestant reformers to cast scholasticism in a bad light.

  • "This is probably the last time I'm ever going to talk about politics on this channel."

    Let's see how that goes.

  • Schroedinger's Cat...thank you Sheldon Cooper

  • TOBY'S FOR THE WIN

  • Its 4:01

  • @Epicpieman22 Intros and outros don't count.

  • "I'll probably never talk about politics on this channel again" Hahahahaha LIES!!

  • ahhh its over 4 minutes

  • your seated in chair happy dance looks like kermit the frog's cheer

  • I just Needed to mention that you got Schrodinger cat wrong. Alpha particle sensor that will break a glass tube if it senses any alpha particles, a ca,t and a substance that emits alpha particles are all placed in a box. There is a point when you close the box till well over the average time for an alpha particle to be shot out by the substance, where you do'nt know where the cat is dead or alive, and so he is one and the other and both and niether all at the same time. Remember the alphas.

  • actually, that people thought the earth was flat, was made up by two dudes in the 1800 century. scientists think they hav known that the earth wsa round for 2000-3000 years now

  • i want pudding

  • please introduce your self i hate you distance,,,if i found out you fucking fake ppl i will kill you pimp...

  • That kid is three years old now :O

  • the speed of light isnt invariant. it changes deppending on what its passing through

  • Will Grayson Will Grayson Reference!

  • Ahh I always feel so smart when people make a Schroedinger's cat reference, because I know what it means :)

  • @artyfarty1996 I always feel awkward because i've known about it sense forever and i just assume people should have stumbled upon it by the time they talk to me...so there's always that awkward moment where i'm "you don't know what that is? bye :P"

    i don't know why any of this is addressed to you either :.

    kbye :D

  • @eladps :D I know exactly what you mean, but then there's always that part of me that gets really excited when I mention it and someone actually knows what I'm talking about.

    I don't know why you addressed that to me either but I'm glad you did. :D

  • john hank bubbles the nerdfighting baby biss.

    ...i wish that was my name.

  • @ProgressiveBoink assuming you are an adult, it can be! i think :.

    kbye :D

  • @ProgressiveBoink When I read your comment in my head, it was to the tune of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

  • The point of Schrodingers cat experiment was to disprove an idea; Schrodinger didn't actually support the idea that the cat is both dead and alive, he was disproving its possibility.

  • my last name is tobin from tobian. I'm not sure if I would have been put off. 

  • explain to me how the cat is neither alive nor dead until you open the box. I don't think it works that way..... unless you're talking about psychology, in which case nothing ever makes sense ever.

  • @bakerclara22 In the classical Schrodingers cat thought experiment, you put a cat into a box with a vial of poison. There is a radioactive atom in the box too, and when the atom decays (at some unknown time in the future), the vial will break and release the poison, killing the cat.

    Once you close the box, it is impossible to know if the atom has decayed (and therefore, if the cat is still alive) until such a time when you open the box and observe it.

  • @bakerclara22 So until we open the box, we cannot know whether the cat is alive or dead.

    Now, I don't claim to know much about quantum physics, but I think that the interpretation of this is that until we open the box the cat is said to exist in two states - alive and dead. I think this is called superposition, and when we observe the situation (by opening the box) we force the system to take one state (because we cannot observe the cat to be both alive and dead at any one time).

  • @bakerclara22 Psychology actually makes a lot of sense if you understand the field. Then again, it's like that with everything. It's more a thought experiment than a statement of fact.

  • Hey, Schrodinger stole a quantum theory from you!

  • pple of the 14th centuary, bathe more often, i'm not sure why you think bathing once a year is good, but its not! people (most people) bathe more than that today except the people that have a rare disease where if their skin comes in to contact with water or soap or anything good for them, it will fall off, they are excused cuz if they did, they will most certainly die and we need people like Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber to entertain the annoying ones so they're not always annoying US! Thanks!!!!

  • Actually, people of the fourteenth century did know the world was round. They just didn't know about, um, the two contienents named America. Other then that, 'twas good. Scrodenger's (I spelt that wrong) cat FTW :)

  • Hey! Hey! Members of the Fourteenth century! Killing rats is not going to do much good!! The lice ON the rats is what spreads the plague, and when the rats are infected they are able to spread it, too. Stock up on Raid!

  • did someone say shirtless john green?

  • Um, John? The whole "earth is round" thing is irrelevant; the ancient Greeks knew that. People just add that to the Columbus story to make it more interesting.

  • @honohanewo actually it is a very good suggestion because as he said the plague was spread through them. Although I'd love to hear your reasoning behind that statement :). DFTBA

  • killing rats is a stupid suggestion

  • Should have been named Alaskan Crab Biss(que).

  • ...I don't think they'd understand "pwn"...@HighKingTurgon mentioned this a year before me, but I didn't start watching these videos until a year after :P

  • when john says that if they see someone who looks like him they should kill him what does he mean by that??? i dont want john dead!!!

  • um seriously, i hope you do recite an edna st vincent millay poem, but you don't need to be shirtless....really, that's ok.

  • How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? As many as want to.

  • haha "this is probably the last time I will discuss politics..."

    if only 2008 John could have forseen 2011 John.

  • OMG I LOVE YOU! "If you see a dude that looks like me, kill him." Epic epic win.

  • @franinconverse why does he say that i need some explanation. thanks

  • @Friends4LIfe121995 Back in the 14th Century Europians bascially went to half the countries in the world and took the land from the native people, usually killing or enslaving them.

  • This wasn't the last time he talked about politics.

  • The fourteenth century knew earth was round :) but I liked your advice to non Europe :)

  • imagine if people is the fourteenth century DID see this. then we'd probably have a lot of portraits containing the DFTBA sign, and leonard nimoy would be out of a catch-phrase.

  • "Listen closely peoples of non-Europe! If you see a dude who looks like me, kill him!"

  • @bufar why does he say that? im confused. thanks

  • Lol KILL HIM!!! xD

  • ah, they knew the earth was round then, they didnt know it was an oblate spheroid but they knew it was round!

  • I wonder what would history be like if we'd known how to cure plague. Maybe everything would have advanced a little faster and we'd already have the technology to splice puppy sized elephants.

  • Hank Please replay to this comment. I am Really smart for my age. I'm young. i don't want to say my age, but I'm young. i know how to make a fusion bomb. i have detailed plans for a laser axe (light saber like device). What do you think of that?

  • The purpose of your video to the Fourteenth Century was to change the course of history! Do you understand that by attempting to change the course of history, you are most likely negating the events that lead to your existence? Ahh!

    DFTBA.

  • Yeah. THe origen of the word decepticon.

    Good advice on killing the caucasians. Did the europeans call their continent europe at that point?

  • Is it bad I have a sudden urge to invent a time machine just to show the people of the 14th centuary John's 60 second video?

  • I beg you guys... read this with the transcript from the "Beta Youtube." It talks about big breasts and a bike area for nerdfighteria!

  • wait, who is the person they have to kill that looks like John?  :-/

  • @FungusyHam White guys.

  • Maybe you should have said something to the 14th century about the whole witch hunt thing.

  • Leeches do work. They're used in modern medecine sometimes.

    Light's speed isn't invariant. Spacetime velocities, on the other hand...

    It was an... interesting selection of knowledge for the 14th century to learn.

  • You may have been informed of this already, but in case you haven't - the plague was not caused by rats. It was caused by the disease bearing fleas on the rats.

  • LFATIA!

  • DANIEL BISS IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!

  • im just wondering, at 0:11, which video is that from? it looks ridiculously epic.

  • @dikaroxmysox The video where Hank is punished and tries to give out peeps on a street. He then meets an awesome punk rocker nerdfighter who eats tons of Hank's peeps, which he failed to give out to decepticons. :)

  • You didn't include anything about the environment in your message to the past. O-O

  • I miss old vlog brothers!

  • what is dftba?

  • @lukegllcc Don't Forget To Be Awesome.

  • @highgirlstar2000

    OOOOH!!!!! thanks.

  • @lukegllcc An initialism for Don't Forget To Be Awesome, or alternatively Dinosaurs Failed To Beat Asteriod. You choose.

  • Nerdfighters: Capable of altering 14th Century relics to have DFTBA inscribed upon them. True story.

  • *grins* I wonder if he knew that, in a couple of years, he, himself, would be having a baby.

  • Will Grayson Will Grayson referance!

  • Wow John, If the 14th century really did see this, you would have really screwed up history..

  • So I'm going back through y'alls videos and watching them all... and then I came to this one... and I read the title and I thought memo (sounding in my head like me-moe) to the fourteenth century... well that's a strange title, Although it is John... maybe it's a Natural reference... it wasn't until the last two seconds when I was like "humm memo makes a lot more sense than me-moe, and he didn't talk about Memo Paris at all... ohhh it is memo, not Me-moe... fail"

  • Please put another Nerdfighter T-Shirt for sale on DFTBA!!! I HAVE to get one!! >.>

  • I completely object. The Plague actually broke the landlords and the wealthy of Europe by destroying their labor pool. Farms and factories had a great need for workers--and so the peasants and the lower skilled craftsmen were able to negotiate the terms of their working conditions.

    Leeches do, in fact, work, just not as well as the Europeans had hoped and not in the way they believed they did. Leeches actually secrete a blood coagulant--they literally stop people from bleeding. Cool, huh?

  • That thing about the alive and dead cat is in WGWG :D

  • sorry for the two-year late comment, but your warning to the 14th century contains a major flaw but also poses a great moral question.

    without the plague, the renaissance never would have been able to happen. so do you save the lives of millions of people and risk completely ruining history, or do you knowingly allow the plague to happen with the knowledge of the renaissance and all its subsequent movements?

    moral dilemma makes your brain dance.

  • Omg schrodinger owns my life! hahaha

  • Comment removed

  • gotta love that happy dance.

  • i still laugh at the schroedinger joke every single time

  • So John I know it's a little late but the shirtless poetry recitation sounds nice.

    Also I showed my 49 year old dad your videos and he said "YES! intelligent people on the internet!"

    DFTBA DFTBA

    !!!!

  • Wait, wait, who is supposed to look like you?

  • White people

  • "John Hank Bubbles the Nerdfighting Baby Biss" :D

    Commenters: yays for using "Bolshevik"!

    Also yay for quantum mechanics.

  • Hah, John was talking so fast the video couldn't keep up with the audio and it got all unsynchronized lol

  • I laughed at the Schrodinger's cat reference. I question the wisdom of imparting all that knowledge to people from the 14th century though. It's assuming that having the truth is inherently good. When it could, you know, cause problems.

  • I'm sure it's been stated earlier, but about Shrödinger's cat. It's popular to say that this thought experiment somehow makes it so that a cat is both alive and dead at once inside the box. This isn't true. In fact, the major argument he made against quantum physics through that experiment was base don the exact opposite: cat's don't work that way, which some quantum implied they did. This lead to revisions in the theory.

    I realize it was joke, but hey, the more you know ^^

  • @We1 (he left out the radioactivity reason that the poison might or might not open) The cat isn't really "both" or "neither." The cat's state remains undefined, because it is contingent on decay, which only has the potential of having happened. It's fucked up shit. It also implies that cats are not just stupid, but they aren't conscious at all and so don't count as an "observer" and may or may not actually exist if humans aren't looking at them.. guess that explains their dismissive attitudes

  • i think people in the 14th century knew the earth was round

  • I'm all for the shirtless poem.

    'This is probably the last time I'm ever going to talk about politics on this channel...'

    John, that is the biggest bunch of Bolshevik I have ever heard come out of your mouth.

  • Thanks for the amazing Bolshevik saying. -virtual high five-

  • Absolutely. -high fives back-

  • @fortheloveofLDS "John, that is the biggest bunch of Bolshevik I have ever heard come out of your mouth."

    I see what you did there.

  • Schrodinger FTW!

  • John! They won't be able to understand you! You're not speaking old English!!!!!!!!

  • Old English was not spoken in the fourteenth century. They were well on into middle English and even coming into modern english at that time. Old English (or Anglo-Saxon) died out as British lingua franca after the Norman Invasion, at which time the actual lingua franca and old english had a baby and we named it middle english, which is difficult but decipherable to modern-english speakers. They may have trouble understanding "pwn," though.

    DFTBA!

  • oh that's right, ok. lol

    but still, John doesn't sound much like Chaucer

  • True dat. Wouldn't it be awesome if he did? We should ask him to read "The Canterbury Tales" selections in the original Middle English!

  • @HighKingTurgon They would also have issues with his vowels (as the Great Vowel Shift had not happened yet) and probably quite a bit of his vocabulary and grammar. The fourteenth century was definitely Middle English; Modern English didn't come about until the early eighteenth century.

  • @Lexicografia Well, Modern English was firmly established by the sixteenth century. By the time of the Renaissance, or the 'Early Modern Period' as the Academics call it (academics are so picky about their voacb. yeesh.), all Britons were speaking and writing in Modern English. Ben Jonson, Kit Marlowe, Will Shakespeare. All brilliant Modern English dramatists. And stylists, for the most part.

  • my first vlogbrothers video

  • Whooo!

    My Name is Elliott. Welcome to the world!

  • Oo-er, pardon my lateness, but would somebody be so kind as to explain what a nerdfighter is as well as Nerdfighteria (?) for me? I haven't the time to sift through all their other videos for the answer.

  • Nerdfighters are people who, instead or being made of cells and tissues etc, are made of awesome.

    Like freedom fighters, but... um... nerds.

  • Haha! Fabulous!

  • who was he talking about non peoples in europe? and killing a white guy? i am sorry i failed history and did crack and i have no idea what he just said but it gave me a mild errection

  • oh well non peoples of Europe would be the people he defined in the few words before and after the words non Europe people.

    as for killing a white guy that looks like him in the 14th century it is because all linked to the EBO....Evil baby orphanage...and the dude is him kinda...its all confusing even for me after watching the video. there are a lot of videos about EBO or you can talk about it on the forums.

    DFTBA

  • I'm Scottish, so I'm not great on my American history, but I've got a feeling the whole "killing white guys" thing refers to the Europeans who came to America and killed the native Americans.

    Might be wrong though...

  • Actually, the Europeans who came to America referred to the Native Americans as the red men, so it probably wasn't them. Otherwise, I have no idea either.

  • I meant the other way round - the Native Americans should have killed the Europeans before they killed them...

    I'm confusing myself. I'm not good at US history.

  • It's cool, most of the kids at my school fail US history every year they take it.

  • the only proplem is when he said wash your hands and body in water a lot....opps john...the reason that bathing had died out during the middle ages was that water was so unclean that you could not even drink it much less wash in it.

    instead in the middle ages they drank ale with about 2% ethoal not enough to dehydrate you but enough to kill the germs, but still very nasty stuff.

  • yay quantum cat box! Schrodinger ftw

  • Why dont you say

    "Hey, why not start the wars of the roses, coz it kind of suched"

  • i really wish there was a way to search through the comments cuz i can never find what i wrote when some one responds (if anyone knows a way plz tell me)

  • John? Doing things shirtless?

    nom.

  • a second over =P

    like it matters.... I feel sorry for the 14th century. They probably got stuck on the word pwned and if they don't know what Europe is then they probably didn't understand anything you said.

  • Your seated in your chair happy dance looks a kermit the frog freak out!! YAY!!!

  • lol...last time he'll ever talk about politics...

  • The 60 seconds with the 14th century was great. I think it was comprised of about 1% (maybe) of the information that would have been helpful to those people. So much they needed to know.

  • I've met Eliott Biss!

  • whose got a time machine? we defineltly need to relay that message, that will change the world!!!!lol

  • JOHN YOU JUST CHANGED THE ENTIRE FUTURE. I hope you are prepared to deal with the consequences of these actions.

  • Hold on a tick, why did he just tell his 14th century homies to shoot 'im?

  • That's what I want to know.. o_o

  • He was referring to the fact that us white folk / Europeans tended to bust in to kill and enslave less white folk. boooooooo

  • I'm kinda sad the whole Edna St. Vincent Millay thing didn't happen. And not because I have a burning need to see John shirtless, but I just really, really like Edna St. Vincent Millay. Although John shirtless could be an interesting counterpoint...

  • ahaha I love every Schroëdinger's cat mention you make, John. it's awesome.

  • Comment 300:

    Strip tease. Strip tease. Strip tease.

  • i just think it's funny that john thought this would be his last political video.

    i have to admitt it would have been a shame if it were.

  • I forget, what did we end up having him do? Gosh, I'm going to have to go look it up, aren't I? xD

  • leeches work

  • anybody notice.....4:01

  • youtube often adds one second onto the end of videos for some unknown reason. it happens to John a lot.

  • Haha

  • I loved the Schrodinger's cat bit. Seriously. None of my friends get it.

  • I looked in the comments to see if i could find the name of that, and it was the first comment!

  • same

  • Bad choice to stumble away. You will regret it. John is AWESOME.

  • John do you now what you just did with the 60 seconds with the fourteenth century. You just changed the future and we won't know if it was for better or worse until thing either start to disappear or randomly appear. Oh well maybe we won't have Bush for president......nope still there

  • Maybe Bush is president /because/ of this video.

  • O_O good point daylightdweller...

  • Well, John, the cat you licked for punishment in B20 was named Toby.

    That should give it a bit of a negative connotation in your mind.

    Although Toby was a symbol of Nerdfighters coming together in order to help you find a cat...or do other awesome things...so then again, maybe I'm wrong.

  • About that "European" bit. The title of "European" didn't come into popularly until about the time of the American Revolution; it helped differentiate the us (Americans) from them (where we trace our ancestry). A much more accurate term (that people of the time would know) would be Christians (not to bog on religion) as used by Las Casas and many others from early American literature.

  • Thank you, John, for the reference to Schrodinger's cat (stupid comments font has no diaeresis). That made my week.

    And the thing you could do for me: Could you present the study of Latin and the reading of her literature in a way that people would not look at me askance every time I told them that I take Latin and love it to death? Because that would be pretty cool. Thanks for reading this comment, at least. It's certainly rather lengthy.

  • The problem with telling non-Europeans who are about to be colonized, enslaved, and discriminated to kill white people, is that then white people would be discriminated. Although I like your description of the plague and its causes. The little invisible monsters took over the world for a bit there.

  • This is like your 3rd reference to Schrodinger's Cat! I love it!

    Hoo-ha! Nerdfighters!

  • Love Is Not All... shirtless.

    DO it!

    dftba.

  • Why is this marked as spam?! People thats not very nerdfighterly its more dicepticonion than nerdfighterly.

  • LOL "if you see a guy who looks like me, KILL HIM"

  • WOOOOOOO

    MY NAME IS ELLIOTT TOO!

    BOYA!

    NERDFIGHTERS FTW!

    -Elli

  • Don't forget about the Cat named Toby, Who John licked!

  • How would people in Non-Europe understand what your saying if they've never heard of Europe let alone one of their languages? :]

  • Did you reference schrodinger's cat?

    Or am I ignorant?

  • he did.

  • Totally Schrodinger!

    Third time!

  • Hahahahaha if you see a guy that looks like me.....