Tim Vine Comedy Festival Gala 2009

[ladymiie]

"Having dinner with my boss and his wife; it was a complete disaster. My boss' wife said to me, she said -Tim, how many potatoes would you like? I said -I'll just have one. She says -Allright, you don't have to be polite. I said -Allright then, I'll just have one you stupid cow." Beautiful :DD

~Marie

[dylandior123]

I love Tim Vine. He's hilarious without the use of swearing.

:)

[yammyrob]

great to hear a comedian with no swearing. brilliant

[RMG8S]

Seven days without puns makes one weak.

[TheRooster94]

When a boy's a singer, he must be talented

When he's rich and famous, he must be gifted

When he starts singing "Baby, Baby"...alarm bells, alarm bells, alarm bells.....

[GabeGT]

The king of one liners. No comparison!

[badgerkk]

ill jst have one u stupid cow brilliant

[ctedezchelsea]

He is absolutly brilliant live!!

[LittleMissGlamazon]

He's the only comedian that actually makes me LAUGH. The others just make me Smile...

[tomvear]

he doesnt sound anything liek Tommy Cooper either....

[Tsugo582]

Haha :)

[bestonboard]

To me he's a modern Benny Hill

[Fiasco6Radio6Show6]

crap song

[Fuzigish8]

I clearly just don't get this guy...I really don't find him funny at all.

[emirfet]

Tim Vine is good !

[itwontletmehaveaname]

he's a funny guy but i've watched only 3 videos of him on youtube and half the jokes were the same :S

[1000000man1]

hi JACK ! lol

[1000000man1]

hi jack! lol

[ch1mpanzeethat]

I fucking love this guy.

[Mushthu26]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY..........Great

[TheAdamWebb]

I prefered Lee macks standup, but Tim Vine is still hillarious :P

[JoshRobertson142]

mikehuntcool

your what is known as a cunt

[louiswilkinson10]

your mum and dad had a good sense of humour when they named you mike hunt so why dont you?

[2004gingerdave]

Tim Vine deserves Knighthood!

[jumpdance24]

or at the very least........a sleep mask !

[hfdpayner]

what does that light mean haha

[debluemonkey]

When the Vicar's head revolves, alarm bells, allarm bells!

[SongBillong]

Tim Vine for the win. He's a genius :D

[bfdhvcnvvbjdn]

I've noticed that lot of his jokes or the style at least, come from ZAZ productions like 'Airplane' and 'The Naked Gun'.

[AndyForTheWin]

Rofl @ spark

[scrabby54]

proof positive to all the toilet mouthed "comedians" out there that you can be hilarious without the expletives...you just have to be clever

[mattjeh]

Very true, Swearing like a trooper is over rated.

[HarryEvansTV]

you have to admit the alarm bells song is pretty funny

[SongBillong]

I've got a few of his DVDs and they're all hilarious. You lot who are saying that he's repeating jokes, well ALL comedians repeat jokes. Do you think they're gonna write a whole new show and loads of new jokes for every performance? Use a bit of common sense, people... Tim Vine is one of the funniest comedians around in my opinion, and I'm really looking forward to the Not Going Out Christmas Special. :D

[obebogie]

Its just a load of crappy one liners

[wizztay]

hilariousness. just seen him at live at thze apollo (couple of thze same ones).

nice stand-up equally funny as 'not going out'.

[JatobaBokken]

This guy sucks the sweat off a deadman's balls.

[thedukeofrosco]

Ive watched this vid twice and havnt seen him do that in the routine.

[Jameswade2k]

Theres repeated jokes though. Watch his 2004 first tv appearance.

[wiggumo]

this guy is too much.

[estario]

he used that football joke right at the beginning on countdown...

[menonthemovemovie]

Love your performance

[missaussiegirl01]

Does anyone else think he looks like a blond version of Nicholas Cage?

[ReksPL]

Thought I was the only one who noticed.

[Feddex123]

@missaussiegirl01 its just the hair xD

[Bensinat]

@missaussiegirl01 reminds me more of Peter Gabriel lol :P

[bradybraidz]

@missaussiegirl01 He does = and also looks and acts like my dad....these are typical dad jokes! lol

[Spackez]

@missaussiegirl01 Totally.

[YooBurp]

@missaussiegirl01 So its Nicholas beige.

[joshierawlz]

@missaussiegirl01

[MrNodzilla]

@missaussiegirl01 .He's got more hair than Nicholas Cage!

[PERFECTCOMMENT]

i love this guy.

no really i love him like i want to marry him!

[SongBillong]

TIM VINE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY and yet loads of my mates have never heard of him. It's such a shame that such a talented bloke doesn't get the recognition he deserves. He's just hilarious. :D

[chaddie60]

He gets loads of recognition.

[marleyboro]

hes fucking shit

[KofiiDXHardyRad]

@marleyboro ::::: one liners are the best

[sparktransmitter]

thats not what ur mom said last night

[usernamealredytaken]

@SongBillong Loads of your mates are c*nts!

[SongBillong]

@usernamealredytaken Hahaha yeah they must be :D

[ForeverTheGirl100]

So cheesy yet so funny :P

[zangerbone]

when the vicars head revolves.. alarm bells! haha XD

[BillyBobsEel]

I don't think he was on long enough for his last joke to work as well as usual.

[killieboy93]

i thought that as well because on the dvd he does it near the end and says "i am now a quarter of the way through my act"

[emobabe1993]

For example Im on for at least another two hours XD

[Guest1001]

I walked into a shop today and I saw a man and a woman wrapped up in a bar code. I said "are you two an item?"

That's one of my favourites. :)

[owls2k]

WHAT DOES THAT LIGHT MEAN?

[alysiaaa]

"Alright. I'll just have one, you stupid cow."

Love that.

[usblueflyer]

I just LOVE Tim Vine!!

[Pillowmat]

hahahaha that was awesome.

[TerryTarget]

The worst!

[Haro615]

It's really unique his random medley of funny comments.

[ZexkStudios]

no this guys great. the best comedians are the ones that use small amounts to no swearing, and have there own style while being original.

[ImNotThere108]

if your thinking that you have seen him somewhere yoour right he was on The Sketch Show UK

[chasersk8er]

when the airline pilot says fasten your seatbelts that's alright

when he says there's a bit of turbulence, it's just part of the flight

when you overhear him say "what does that light mean?"

ALARM BELLS!! haha i love him

[DsLeEpY]

i've seen him somewhere tele..might of been skithouse or comedy inc.

[pevergreen]

The Sketch Show, british comedy show on aus tv.

[poloxgun]

wats an ajorndest clinic

[wryan241]

its spelt Jaundice and its a illness that makes your skin turn yellow. Hence the pun!!!

[computer11111111111]

reply to poloxgun

A jaundice clinic. I'm not sure of the science behind it but people who suffer from jaundice have slightly yellow skin.

[V1AHHHH]

This guy is hilarious! and hes gonne be on Neighbours!!!!

[nessacheng]

neh hes not fantastic...there are better

[TownCoote]

That was pure class. The audience were unsure of him at the start and nearly tending towards the groans, but by the end they were eating out of his hand. I love this fella.

[UncleNutcase]

I love his opening joke.

Terrible but you can't help but laugh.

[guru9519]

i bet i wanst the only one singing this all the next day!

[SleepingDragon7]

you weren't BELIEVE ME!

[reddog77777777]

when theres blood on the seat ALARM BELLS!

[chasersk8er]

tims the best when it comes to one liners!

[calman123098]

you cant get a job as an airline pilot if your name is jack, coz you walk into the cockpit, the captain says, "hi jack" and everyone starts screaming LOL :P

[rigbst]

I don't get it.

[calman123098]

hi jack...hi-jack...hijack.... which is bad people taking over the plane

[rigbst]

oh yeah haha

its like a pun isn't it!

[freako27]

there arent that many comedians now like him that jst do one line jokes

[Chapps88]

try demetri martin

[Chapps88]

or jimmy carr

[Blazinks2]

stewart francis is really good too.

[owls2k]

Tim is like a machine gun compared to those 3

[Minority93amy]

hahahah "I'll jus have one you stupid cow!" lolll

his song is great. xD "Alaaarm bells!"

[Kingsley308]

I love the song, and the Hi-jack

[V1AHHHH]

Alarm Bells.....

[Kingsley308]

lol

[mcfurley]

hahaha hes good

[InsaneSparrow]

I think it would be hard as to be a one-liner comedian. They're great in comedy galas, some of them become a bit much to listen to after a while.

But I do love Dimitri Martin and Mitch Hedberg. Genius.

[lehman]

like 70% of this guy's jokes before he starts singing are old standards.

[koolieo4512]

Haha when your flight atendant says fasten your seatbelts it alrite when there a bit of turblulance it just apart of the flight but when you hear him say wths that luight mean alarm bells alarm bell alarm bells!haha

[Choo69]

lol very snappy :)

[26thxshot]

that Julia Roberts one was good as