i love collecting free bibles from the salvation army and motels, then take them out to the woods and stack them for ballistics penetration tests, sometimes i hear the demons scream when i get more than a 2 bible deep shot
Speaking of eating shit: There are people in China who eat chicken shit. They gather it and spread it like fudge then cut it in squares and fry and eat it. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Talk about a stench smell that will make you want to throw up!!
@SanadTech Personally I prefer the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do no bad shit, pay obeisance to the Pirate Overlords; and get a free pass to an eternity alongside a strip dancer factory and a beer volcano. R'Amen.
I have just now read The Adventures of Kanira Baxter, and it is a nice, interesting webcomic, Kanira ( Oops, I mean Keight ) and I will make a point of reading it from now on. It actually makes sense; it has a point. The bible, it appears, never means what it really says, and everything in it actually means something else. Even the word shit, which is the word some idiot used to describe the webcomic, "must be taken in the context of the times."
Hysterical! Reading the bible cover to cover is the surest cure for Christianity. And as this short reading proves, its passages put it in competition with some of the most disgusting fiction out there.
okay so you're reading a multi-thousand year old allegory and by assuming its literal you poke fun at what it says? thats like taking the scorpion and the frog allegory and reading through it going "omg a frog really let a scorpion ride on its back? how can they talk to eachother, wtf why did he sting him that would never happen". of course it didnt happen, its just meant to send a message. just like that passage you read.
@BionicDance almost the entire bible is allegory. there are some actual historical events like the babylonian exile. but you shouldnt take stories like the ones you read literally.
@BionicDance the tower of babel story also "says what it says". does that mean people really built a 5000 foot tall tower and god got jealous so he pushed it over and made everyone speak a different language?
@BionicDance ... the tower of babel story is an allegory and it also is fictional. allegory are never meant to be literal, so you're wrong allegories are always fictional. just like platos allegory of the cave, its completely fictional and its an allegory. much like what you read in this video.
@ihmen Oh, please. *rolls eyes* If you're going to declare that everything hard to explain or strange or weird or that you just plain don't like is "allegory", all you're REALLY doing is making excuses and not facing up to the fact that you're believing in bullshit.
@BionicDance no, i know the story of genesis obviously never historically happened but thats not the point, the point is its trying to explain the origin of things through symbolism because that was the best understanding they had at the time. thats what makes it an allegory. here in our modern society we can easily debunk it sure, we can also debunk platos allegory of the cave. but theres no point because they shouldnt have been taken literally in the first place.
@ihmen You don't get to just claim allegory when they may have literally meant EXACTLY when they were writing.
How EXACTLY are you determining that something is allegory and when it is not? *raised eyebrow* Cuz it still seems to me that you're only declaring allegory when a passage in the bible seems inconveniently unreal, gross, or unflattering.
@BionicDance oh, so you're saying how do we know the people writting the bible meant for it to be an allegory and not just bullshit writting with no point.
well, ive read the entire old testimate in ancient hebrew. and when you read it in its ancient hebrew its clear that most of it is just symbolic. however, highly edited and badly translated versions of it like the king james bible have twisted around a lot of the meaning to make it seem like it was supposed to be taken literally.
@BionicDance well you have to take into consideration that creationists favorite bible to read is usually the king james version which just so happens to be the one you're reading in this video. this is because the king james version is more geared towards a literal interpretation of the stories. its necessary for christianity to take the stories literally because if the fall of man never actually happened then jesus dying on the cross had no point. thats why most creationists are christian.
@BionicDance the same allusion a person makes when he says "go suck a dick" to someone hes mad at. hes not really telling the guy to go have oral sex with someone.
@BionicDance well you gotta look at the context in which that passage is written. hes talking to a guy whos apparently eaten non-kosher meat. and god is saying "hey you ate that stuff? eating that is like eating a bunch of shit, so you might aswell eat shit if you're going to eat non-kosher." so the guys who wrote that were obviously telling the reader "eating non-kosher is like eating shit, so dont do it". they werent saying "god is commanding us to eat shit lol".
@TheTomtompiper actually you can pick and choose in this case because some of the stories in the bible are based and true events while some are completely allegorical. the babylonian exile for example, is based on a real historical event. but other stories like noahs flood are just made up to send a message, it never historically happened. much like the stories she read in this video.
@ihmen Bullshit, who can possibly choose, and who can say if they are wrong or right, it;s a complete scam. They are fact or they are allegory take your pick, anything else is called having your cake and eating it, a logical fallacy, so less ot the shit talking and pick one.
@TheTomtompiper depends which story you're talking about. the babylonian exile really did happen so i cant say that story isnt true. but on the other hand, the story of noahs flood is not true. so i cant say both of them are true or both of them are false. because one is historically true while the other is not.
@ihmen No it dosen't. get it through your thick skull, it is either a steaming pile of horse shit or it is the Gospel truth, you cannot, I repeat cannot have it bot ways. But now you have admitted that "noahs (sic) flood is not true." I can tell that it is a steaming pile of equine excrement. Thanks for the heads up, now the only question is why that knowing it is horse shit you believe in it?
@TheTomtompiper yeah the noahs flood story is bullshit, this isnt news to me dude. but what about some of the other stories? are you also saying the babylonian exile never happened?
@ihmen No Fuckwit, I am not saying anything except that you don't get to pick and choose what is fact and what is allegory. Now get your finger out of your arse and decide is the Bible true or false. A one word answer is all I will accept, so make sure the first word of your next post is your final answer.
@TheTomtompiper i already told you i cant say the entire thing is false/true because there are some things that are based on real historical events while they're are things that are completely made up. so if i say yes its all false then im also saying the babylonian exile never happened. but if i say no its all true then i would be saying the earth was created in 6 days which isnt correct.
so why dony you answer my question, did the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible really happen?
@ihmen There you have it folks, asked if the Bible was true or false ihmen says i, not the upper case I but lower case i, so now we know the answer to life the Univers and everything, i!
@TheTomtompiper it depends what part of the bible you're talking about. ive answered your question at lease 3 times now and ive explained why i cant give you a yes or no answer. its like asking "have the lakers won all of the championships or none of them". they have won a few and lost many. just like how few bible stories are based on historical events, while most of it is made up.
now could you please answer my question if the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible historically happened?
@TheTomtompiper wow i think thats pretty rude that i give you three comments answering your question while you completely ignore mine. go ask any history professor whether the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible historically happened or not. then when he says yes, i hope you can actually realize why i couldnt say the entire thing was false because if i had, then i would have been saying a real historical event was false.
@ihmen - So the part about women being quiet in church is allegory? The part about women praying in church with their heads covered is allegory? The part about women should have their heads shaved if they pray while not wearing a hat during prayer is allegory? The part about how a woman is to be submissive to a man as man is to be submissive to god, that was allegory? Please explain that for us since we really would like to know and understand.
@LeksServices all those are what they really meant. the bible is very sexist and not all of it is allegory. i was just saying the things like noahs flood, genesis, the passage she read, etc. those arent meant to be taken literally. what she read in this video was god telling a guy who had eaten non kosher food that he might aswell eat shit because they're both the same. so the writters werent saying "god commands us to eat shit". they're saying "non kosher food is the equivalent to shit".
@ihmen OK, your one of those people who don't take the bible literally. Even so, the book is still sick and twisted.
I shouldn't have to point this out but there are plenty of Christians that do take this shit literally. Especially in the US. Now doesn't that worry you just a little?
@RELIGIONmustDIE the only thing that really worries me about christianity is the fact that its very easy for schizophrenics to go unnoticed because they attribute the voices in their head to "jesus". so they go around saying jesus talks to them and everyone is just like "oh they're just really religious" and its all fine until "jesus" tells them to murder the family and burn down the house.
but atheists have very high depression rates, so niether group has perfect mental health.
@ihmen If that's all that worries you about Christianity then you haven't really looked. Attributing internal dialogue to "Jesus talking to me" is more in line with delusional than schizophrenic. What about the scary numbers of people who take a literal interpretation to the bible?
Where are you getting this atheism=depression from? I must have missed something. I know there is a link between intelligence and depression. Perhaps that is what your referring to?
@RELIGIONmustDIE no im saying when a person develops schizophrenia it can go unnoticed because the auditory hallucinations caused by the schizophrenia are attributed to jesus instead of realizing their mentally ill and need immediate help.
gallup polls done on religiosity and depression show that non-religious people are diagnosed with depression more than religious people. i dont think intelligence has anything to do with it, because jews are religious and they're also the most intelligent.
@ihmen Lookup religiosity vs intelligence. Not just in the context of one culture. Most Jews I know go to their synagogue and follow the cultural traditions but don't actually believe or follow the religion in the sense you think.
One of them told me that the god in the scriptures is an asshole. From what I've read of the old testament I'd have to say he's right. :)
If I had to delude myself to be happy I would still choose depression. I on the other hand am happier since I lost religion.
@RELIGIONmustDIE then they're probably the same as me, im jewish but i dont go to synagogue or take the whole thing that seriously, but im not an atheist so you cannot call jews atheists just because they tend to score high on intelligence tests. besides, i know some religious people who are smarter than me, and ive seen some pretty stupid atheists. so i dont think its about intelligence.
i also dont think atheism is the cause of the depression, its just a correlation.
@ihmen More intelligent people are much less likely to take the bible literally. I wasn't saying Jews are atheist though allot of Jews are like atheists. Not too much difference.
Personally I don't mind theists like you because you aren't extreme in your views and are able to accept science. Many Jews make big contributions to science and technology.
Statistics show: Intelligence and religiosity are inversely correlated. On average, atheists are more intelligent than the religious population.
Perhaps it's possible God knew that people would, for some reason(maybe watching too much Beavis and Butt-Head would have caused it), be amused by potty humor, so he probably decided those words put in his book and to have the situations described in the passages coincidently happen or something like that, LOL...sorry, I kinda suck at describing shit.
Oh, btw, I would like to invite u to a special winter potluck at church, we're serving roasted shit-log and fresh cool piss water...yes that joke
I went to a massage interview and saw bible versus all over the walls and stuff. I didn't get the job and I'm glad I didn't. I couldn't stand all the religious fervor, I went to massage school cuz I was convinced that the massage industry was more new age than christian. I was right just not about everyone. XD
@traog "out of context" - you'll hear this a lot if you try to attack the bible. Whenever you got them, they'll find a broader context in the meaning. If you try to read the whole story and still find fault in it, then they'll just find an even broader context to its meaning. But the bible is meaningless so there is no context to be out of.
@traog - Please explain the context for the following, so it's PC and jives with our modern times:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
Oh. I forgot. 1st Corinthians "Is Old Testament, So It No Longer Applies." XD
@LeksServices I didn't say that there isn't a lot of crap in the bible that can/should be brought up, I was specifically referring to BD use of these three passages. Also 1st Corinthians is new testament so it is most certainly needs to be addressed. I think when attacking this subject, the bible, care needs to be taken to be sure that we have the high ground. They will still make the accusation that it's out of context but if someone is lying to back their position it needs to be them.
@jimbocidman Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
The only direct reference to woman and their lady parts.
But yea it's interesting that you ask that because I asked my wife (a non-hating, not delusional theist) what the bible had to say specifically about lesbians the other day and she didn't know. I guess theists interpret it as all gays as to promote equal opportunity hatred.
@bionicdance In the old testament it says "If a man lies with another man as with a woman then that is an abomination ..."; nowhere does it speak against lesbians. It does say a woman can't wear mens' clothing.
"Check it, king james version." Who cares, the king james bible is one of the most unreliable versions there are. American Standard Version is much better.
Hold on, that first passage in Ezekiel isn't about EATING the dung, but about using dung-fueled fires to cook the bread. Yes, dung is flammable. No, that is most certainly not sanitary.
*sniicker* so this is where south park got their idea? "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo he loves me and I love you Therefore, vicariously he loves you Even if you're a Jew Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve, he might come to your town Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo He loves me. I love you Heeeeeeee Looooooves Yoooooouu! "
It's one thing being against catholics that force their believe upon others, but it's quite wrong to take some verses like that out of a book that's hundreds of years old. People won't really eat poo, they just try to get some wisdom out of the book. There is nothing wrong about it, it's like a hobby.
@BionicDance Well yeah, like you apply what you learn in real life. Stupid people will do stupid things by taking the bible literally, and be against gays and all that. But scientists may use it to add value to the life they're analyzing. I like to think of a greater thing behind everything too, it's comforting.
Again, they may force their beliefs on the others in america, but here, nobody does. Of course I'm against that way of "believing".
@MadameMcintosh Yes, well, I LIVE in America. I see these religious assholes against gays EVERY FUCKING DAY. I see them against things like stem cell research. I see them impeding scientific progress ALL THE TIME.
How can I do ANYTHING but hate them, feel contempt for them and their superstitions? FUCK them and all their ilk.
@BionicDance they don't read it. most of us that start out religionist become atheists BECAUSE we read it. in fact, it used to be that the church forbade people from reading it. i think that canon law is still 'on the books', but like so many other laws, they just don't enforce it. I first heard you on The Thinking Atheist. Now following on twitter. Thanks. and keep up the good work.
@AirForceGirl05 Your logic is flawed. Atheists aren't going to kill someone FOR believing in god, but I can guarantee a christian will kill someone for NOT believing in god.
If you mean one of the abrahamic faith, yes it has. The very basic story of the original sin is proven to have never happened with biology. Since, with genome comparison, molecular comparison and endogenous retrovirus matches evolution of human and common ancestry has been proven, the tale of Adam and Eve and the original sin is shown to have never happened. Then the story of Jesus become meaningless and so is the Kabaa's origin in the islamic faith.
@MadameMcintosh It's like a hobby? Religious studies is a hobby, maybe, but religion itself is a way of life. It is a way of viewing the world and determines how the rest of your belief system is structured, which is the source of all decision-making and behavior. If your belief system is founded upon the idea that the bible is the unerring word of the supremely perfect source of all creation, then your behavior will reflect such silly thoughts as the ones BionicDance just read directly from it.
@TheShibo You're confusing die-hard catholics with regular catholics. I know quite a lot of catholics, like my mum, but the only thing she does in life based on her beliefs is being friendly, taking care of others, and she tries to avoid doing any harm to anyone, even the ones that harm her. I don't know what she thinks of gays, but she sure isn't fighting against them. I just don't see what the problem is.
@MadameMcintosh As you said, it's hundreds of years old. You can say we shouldn't criticize the israelites cause they lived during different times. But once you start saying that this book applies today and people should follow it, there's a problem.
no no no that's the OLD testament, in the new testiment it says we should eat bread and believe that it is actually the flesh of Christ and that the wine is the blood, so you no longer have to eat dung but be a ritualistic cannibal instead. that's totally different not nearly that disturbing.
i like to play a game i call "bible bingo" .. you randomly flick through it, pick a line or two , .. then spend the next 5 minutes trying to make sense of it.
maybe god is the tossed salad man from hbo behind bars pluss if adultry is a sin why did the fathers all do it? and god made it cool for lot to give his daughters up to be raped and let he daughter get him drunk to have incest with him was that not one of the sins of Sodom and gomorrah
So god is into scat porn, its cool, not my cup of pi..er tea but hey, to each his own. I'd probably get bored after a few thousand years of watching people fucking in missionary only with occasional rape. He DOES watch EVERYTHING right? Why not mix it up a bit with something freaky, but not homosexual, he HATES that...even though he made a lizard species entirely female...
Isn't it fun to see how little people actually read the bible from cover to cover? How small the number of christians out there are that know what is actually in it?
Good video.. Made me feel like a 8 yo again, laughing whenever someone said 'pee' or 'poo'.
@nilsy1975 Buddhists are human, and subject to human failings. But in general, they don't preach death to unbelievers, nor torture confessions of witchcraft from 'heretics'. In general, I mean ... :)
@nilsy1975 Buddhists are human, and subject to human failings. But in general, they don't preach death to unbelievers, nor torture confessions of witchcraft from 'heretics'. In general, I mean ... :)
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
@adirm18 i just did a little reserch and find that many different jewish retards say diferent things about the word "peresh" (p.s pAresh means horse shit)
hmm that verse is more fun than the one about burning your daughter alive after Yahweh lets u take a city or that u can rape a girl as long as u pay her dad some silver and then marry her.
Perhaps I missed them, but I'd have thought the eight people whom "thumbed down" this video would have left a comment rebuttal. As usual, Christians are to cowardly assholes to leave a comment. Too stupid to leave a comment by a person with an IQ of 60 or greater - that would be asking a lot! :D
The King James bible is one the worst versions. It includes added antisemitic messages, replaces the word slaves with servants, and is known to be a translation of a translation of a translation.
@FAKEBC i especially checked the 2 German/Swiss sources of Luther bible and Hoffnung für Alle and other translations from different Christian sub cults.
the bible is change by human so many times
domana73 1 month ago
Please... calling the christian god a crap fetishist is an insult to crap fetishist everywhere.
blabbyblah1 2 months ago
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL i thought you were chris angel bahahaha
69imatroll 3 months ago
Marsha brady or peter brady?
donkern5 3 months ago
Haha. Love it
shaneanthonypitts 7 months ago
God floats my rubber duckie
Coquipirate 8 months ago
@ThincKritically Heh. Nice. :)
BionicDance 8 months ago
i love collecting free bibles from the salvation army and motels, then take them out to the woods and stack them for ballistics penetration tests, sometimes i hear the demons scream when i get more than a 2 bible deep shot
desirefirst 9 months ago
3 poop references in a >2000 page book= proof of deranged author?
danckus 10 months ago
@danckus Not just poop references. Poop EATING references. I don't care how many or how few; this god in this book is a disgusting crap fetishist.
BionicDance 10 months ago
I saw this on dramatica, make more videos. fucking epic
bob2000and10 1 year ago
@bob2000and10 On dramatica? Really? Huh... I had no idea.
BionicDance 1 year ago
Jews are known to be scatological.
AirForceGirl05 1 year ago
wtf hahahahahaa u ugly then a bitch
crazydude75044 1 year ago
@crazydude75044 wtf hahahahahaa u insulting then blocked
BionicDance 1 year ago 2
Speaking of eating shit: There are people in China who eat chicken shit. They gather it and spread it like fudge then cut it in squares and fry and eat it. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Talk about a stench smell that will make you want to throw up!!
erbeesr 1 year ago
Scat queen! Corporapheliac! Hilarious...
heartwings1123 1 year ago
Oh, c'mon: It's just the early way of saying, "EAT SHIT!" So when you hear anyone say that, you know they're holier than thou. ;-)
RichardRoy2 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Taking passages out of context is low.
LinkMEP 1 year ago
Hey BionicDenial. ;)
jcrebel18 1 year ago
I love the way you say: "what the fuck is wrong with you people" at 1:40.
Ajin616 1 year ago
Poop cakes.
fegolem 1 year ago
Bible isn't real. Read the Quran!
SanadTech 1 year ago
@SanadTech no the book of mormon is better
DaBossk 1 year ago
@DaBossk No Lord of the rings is better.
SupermarketsRevil 1 year ago
@SanadTech Personally I prefer the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do no bad shit, pay obeisance to the Pirate Overlords; and get a free pass to an eternity alongside a strip dancer factory and a beer volcano. R'Amen.
thephilosopherkartik 1 year ago
I have just now read The Adventures of Kanira Baxter, and it is a nice, interesting webcomic, Kanira ( Oops, I mean Keight ) and I will make a point of reading it from now on. It actually makes sense; it has a point. The bible, it appears, never means what it really says, and everything in it actually means something else. Even the word shit, which is the word some idiot used to describe the webcomic, "must be taken in the context of the times."
thereforeithought 1 year ago
"What the Fuck is Wrong With You People?" Great Combichrist album. I'd recommend it to anyone. =p
LeksServices 1 year ago
Your shirt. I wants it.
TalkingWigHead 1 year ago
Hysterical! Reading the bible cover to cover is the surest cure for Christianity. And as this short reading proves, its passages put it in competition with some of the most disgusting fiction out there.
laraesque 1 year ago
Does anybody else hear a buzzing sound?
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
I laughed pretty hard at this.
SgtDICTION 1 year ago
Don't mind me, I'm just adding "non-corporeal coprophiliac" to my list of favorite phrases.
dannyboyfour 1 year ago
okay so you're reading a multi-thousand year old allegory and by assuming its literal you poke fun at what it says? thats like taking the scorpion and the frog allegory and reading through it going "omg a frog really let a scorpion ride on its back? how can they talk to eachother, wtf why did he sting him that would never happen". of course it didnt happen, its just meant to send a message. just like that passage you read.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen "Passages". Plural.
One might be allegory, but THREE...? Nuh-uh.Somewhere in there, they really meant it.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance almost the entire bible is allegory. there are some actual historical events like the babylonian exile. but you shouldnt take stories like the ones you read literally.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Uh-huh. It says what it says; you're just making excuses for it.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance the tower of babel story also "says what it says". does that mean people really built a 5000 foot tall tower and god got jealous so he pushed it over and made everyone speak a different language?
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Now you're shifting the goalposts; "fictional" and "allegorical" are NOT the same thing.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance ... the tower of babel story is an allegory and it also is fictional. allegory are never meant to be literal, so you're wrong allegories are always fictional. just like platos allegory of the cave, its completely fictional and its an allegory. much like what you read in this video.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Oh, please. *rolls eyes* If you're going to declare that everything hard to explain or strange or weird or that you just plain don't like is "allegory", all you're REALLY doing is making excuses and not facing up to the fact that you're believing in bullshit.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance no, i know the story of genesis obviously never historically happened but thats not the point, the point is its trying to explain the origin of things through symbolism because that was the best understanding they had at the time. thats what makes it an allegory. here in our modern society we can easily debunk it sure, we can also debunk platos allegory of the cave. but theres no point because they shouldnt have been taken literally in the first place.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen You don't get to just claim allegory when they may have literally meant EXACTLY when they were writing.
How EXACTLY are you determining that something is allegory and when it is not? *raised eyebrow* Cuz it still seems to me that you're only declaring allegory when a passage in the bible seems inconveniently unreal, gross, or unflattering.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance oh, so you're saying how do we know the people writting the bible meant for it to be an allegory and not just bullshit writting with no point.
well, ive read the entire old testimate in ancient hebrew. and when you read it in its ancient hebrew its clear that most of it is just symbolic. however, highly edited and badly translated versions of it like the king james bible have twisted around a lot of the meaning to make it seem like it was supposed to be taken literally.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Uh-huh. Seems remarkably convenient.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance well you have to take into consideration that creationists favorite bible to read is usually the king james version which just so happens to be the one you're reading in this video. this is because the king james version is more geared towards a literal interpretation of the stories. its necessary for christianity to take the stories literally because if the fall of man never actually happened then jesus dying on the cross had no point. thats why most creationists are christian.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Tell me...exactly WHAT do you think they were making allusions to when they talked about eating excrement? *raised eyebrow*
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance the same allusion a person makes when he says "go suck a dick" to someone hes mad at. hes not really telling the guy to go have oral sex with someone.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen And you know this is what they're doing becaaaaauuuuuse...?
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance well you gotta look at the context in which that passage is written. hes talking to a guy whos apparently eaten non-kosher meat. and god is saying "hey you ate that stuff? eating that is like eating a bunch of shit, so you might aswell eat shit if you're going to eat non-kosher." so the guys who wrote that were obviously telling the reader "eating non-kosher is like eating shit, so dont do it". they werent saying "god is commanding us to eat shit lol".
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Oh, puh-LEASE. *rolls eyes*
BionicDance 1 year ago
@ihmen It's either all true or all allegory make your mind up, you can't just pick and choose. Do you eat bacon sandwiches by the way?
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper actually you can pick and choose in this case because some of the stories in the bible are based and true events while some are completely allegorical. the babylonian exile for example, is based on a real historical event. but other stories like noahs flood are just made up to send a message, it never historically happened. much like the stories she read in this video.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Bullshit, who can possibly choose, and who can say if they are wrong or right, it;s a complete scam. They are fact or they are allegory take your pick, anything else is called having your cake and eating it, a logical fallacy, so less ot the shit talking and pick one.
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper depends which story you're talking about. the babylonian exile really did happen so i cant say that story isnt true. but on the other hand, the story of noahs flood is not true. so i cant say both of them are true or both of them are false. because one is historically true while the other is not.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen No it dosen't. get it through your thick skull, it is either a steaming pile of horse shit or it is the Gospel truth, you cannot, I repeat cannot have it bot ways. But now you have admitted that "noahs (sic) flood is not true." I can tell that it is a steaming pile of equine excrement. Thanks for the heads up, now the only question is why that knowing it is horse shit you believe in it?
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper yeah the noahs flood story is bullshit, this isnt news to me dude. but what about some of the other stories? are you also saying the babylonian exile never happened?
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen No Fuckwit, I am not saying anything except that you don't get to pick and choose what is fact and what is allegory. Now get your finger out of your arse and decide is the Bible true or false. A one word answer is all I will accept, so make sure the first word of your next post is your final answer.
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper i already told you i cant say the entire thing is false/true because there are some things that are based on real historical events while they're are things that are completely made up. so if i say yes its all false then im also saying the babylonian exile never happened. but if i say no its all true then i would be saying the earth was created in 6 days which isnt correct.
so why dony you answer my question, did the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible really happen?
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen There you have it folks, asked if the Bible was true or false ihmen says i, not the upper case I but lower case i, so now we know the answer to life the Univers and everything, i!
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper it depends what part of the bible you're talking about. ive answered your question at lease 3 times now and ive explained why i cant give you a yes or no answer. its like asking "have the lakers won all of the championships or none of them". they have won a few and lost many. just like how few bible stories are based on historical events, while most of it is made up.
now could you please answer my question if the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible historically happened?
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Go away, i (sic) have your answer and it is meaningless, so no further discussion is required. This discussion has been terminated.
TheTomtompiper 1 year ago
@TheTomtompiper wow i think thats pretty rude that i give you three comments answering your question while you completely ignore mine. go ask any history professor whether the babylonian exile mentioned in the bible historically happened or not. then when he says yes, i hope you can actually realize why i couldnt say the entire thing was false because if i had, then i would have been saying a real historical event was false.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen - So the part about women being quiet in church is allegory? The part about women praying in church with their heads covered is allegory? The part about women should have their heads shaved if they pray while not wearing a hat during prayer is allegory? The part about how a woman is to be submissive to a man as man is to be submissive to god, that was allegory? Please explain that for us since we really would like to know and understand.
LeksServices 1 year ago
@LeksServices all those are what they really meant. the bible is very sexist and not all of it is allegory. i was just saying the things like noahs flood, genesis, the passage she read, etc. those arent meant to be taken literally. what she read in this video was god telling a guy who had eaten non kosher food that he might aswell eat shit because they're both the same. so the writters werent saying "god commands us to eat shit". they're saying "non kosher food is the equivalent to shit".
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen OK, your one of those people who don't take the bible literally. Even so, the book is still sick and twisted.
I shouldn't have to point this out but there are plenty of Christians that do take this shit literally. Especially in the US. Now doesn't that worry you just a little?
RELIGIONmustDIE 1 year ago
@RELIGIONmustDIE the only thing that really worries me about christianity is the fact that its very easy for schizophrenics to go unnoticed because they attribute the voices in their head to "jesus". so they go around saying jesus talks to them and everyone is just like "oh they're just really religious" and its all fine until "jesus" tells them to murder the family and burn down the house.
but atheists have very high depression rates, so niether group has perfect mental health.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen If that's all that worries you about Christianity then you haven't really looked. Attributing internal dialogue to "Jesus talking to me" is more in line with delusional than schizophrenic. What about the scary numbers of people who take a literal interpretation to the bible?
Where are you getting this atheism=depression from? I must have missed something. I know there is a link between intelligence and depression. Perhaps that is what your referring to?
RELIGIONmustDIE 1 year ago
@RELIGIONmustDIE no im saying when a person develops schizophrenia it can go unnoticed because the auditory hallucinations caused by the schizophrenia are attributed to jesus instead of realizing their mentally ill and need immediate help.
gallup polls done on religiosity and depression show that non-religious people are diagnosed with depression more than religious people. i dont think intelligence has anything to do with it, because jews are religious and they're also the most intelligent.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen Lookup religiosity vs intelligence. Not just in the context of one culture. Most Jews I know go to their synagogue and follow the cultural traditions but don't actually believe or follow the religion in the sense you think.
One of them told me that the god in the scriptures is an asshole. From what I've read of the old testament I'd have to say he's right. :)
If I had to delude myself to be happy I would still choose depression. I on the other hand am happier since I lost religion.
RELIGIONmustDIE 1 year ago
@RELIGIONmustDIE then they're probably the same as me, im jewish but i dont go to synagogue or take the whole thing that seriously, but im not an atheist so you cannot call jews atheists just because they tend to score high on intelligence tests. besides, i know some religious people who are smarter than me, and ive seen some pretty stupid atheists. so i dont think its about intelligence.
i also dont think atheism is the cause of the depression, its just a correlation.
ihmen 1 year ago
@ihmen More intelligent people are much less likely to take the bible literally. I wasn't saying Jews are atheist though allot of Jews are like atheists. Not too much difference.
Personally I don't mind theists like you because you aren't extreme in your views and are able to accept science. Many Jews make big contributions to science and technology.
Statistics show: Intelligence and religiosity are inversely correlated. On average, atheists are more intelligent than the religious population.
RELIGIONmustDIE 1 year ago
@RELIGIONmustDIE Can you send me a link to the statistics you talk about, please? Just interested.
bethangharad93 1 year ago
@bethangharad93 lookup on Wikipedia 'religiosity and intelligence'
The studies and resources are linked there.
RELIGIONmustDIE 1 year ago
God = dung queen. Love it.
Illuminatiprimus 1 year ago
Perhaps it's possible God knew that people would, for some reason(maybe watching too much Beavis and Butt-Head would have caused it), be amused by potty humor, so he probably decided those words put in his book and to have the situations described in the passages coincidently happen or something like that, LOL...sorry, I kinda suck at describing shit.
Oh, btw, I would like to invite u to a special winter potluck at church, we're serving roasted shit-log and fresh cool piss water...yes that joke
XtranormalFredPhelps 1 year ago
God has funky fetishes just like the rest of us.
Leonis1989 1 year ago
I went to a massage interview and saw bible versus all over the walls and stuff. I didn't get the job and I'm glad I didn't. I couldn't stand all the religious fervor, I went to massage school cuz I was convinced that the massage industry was more new age than christian. I was right just not about everyone. XD
Amenat 1 year ago
MY EARS!!! It's like "Two Girls, One Cup" for my auditory organs!!!
SDBPR 1 year ago
It's called scat porn duhh.
sergeantrex 1 year ago
...can not be unheard X(
Sav3TheWorld 1 year ago
haha, I like the music.
MsSmokeNmirrors 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Isaiah 16:11 Wherefore my bowels shall sound like a harp for Moab. God's farts sound like a harp
marsh84722 1 year ago
Comment removed
marsh84722 1 year ago
What a load of cr...
Sorry, couldn't resist ;)
Eizenstahl 1 year ago
I'm going to trick all of my Christian friends into eating poo.
JUST KIDDING I would never be friends with a Christian
DanMickie 1 year ago
bible FAIL = BIONICDANCE FTW
jssherrard 1 year ago
Well, as the saying goes "you are what you eat". And you just read what Christians are commanded to eat.
ristinraccoon 1 year ago
Actually these are out of context.
There is plenty of things kept in context that you could bring up for theists to deal with, this just shows you don't know what your talking about.
traog 1 year ago
@traog "out of context" - you'll hear this a lot if you try to attack the bible. Whenever you got them, they'll find a broader context in the meaning. If you try to read the whole story and still find fault in it, then they'll just find an even broader context to its meaning. But the bible is meaningless so there is no context to be out of.
marsh84722 1 year ago
@traog - Please explain the context for the following, so it's PC and jives with our modern times:
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."
Oh. I forgot. 1st Corinthians "Is Old Testament, So It No Longer Applies." XD
LeksServices 1 year ago
@LeksServices I didn't say that there isn't a lot of crap in the bible that can/should be brought up, I was specifically referring to BD use of these three passages. Also 1st Corinthians is new testament so it is most certainly needs to be addressed. I think when attacking this subject, the bible, care needs to be taken to be sure that we have the high ground. They will still make the accusation that it's out of context but if someone is lying to back their position it needs to be them.
traog 1 year ago
@bionicdance Where do the theists get thier fuel for hating gay Women? I can't find it in the bible.
jimbocidman 1 year ago
@jimbocidman Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
The only direct reference to woman and their lady parts.
But yea it's interesting that you ask that because I asked my wife (a non-hating, not delusional theist) what the bible had to say specifically about lesbians the other day and she didn't know. I guess theists interpret it as all gays as to promote equal opportunity hatred.
Remijdio 1 year ago
@bionicdance In the old testament it says "If a man lies with another man as with a woman then that is an abomination ..."; nowhere does it speak against lesbians. It does say a woman can't wear mens' clothing.
jimbocidman 1 year ago
I needed a good laugh! Hahahahaha Thanks!
Pablo113 1 year ago
"Check it, king james version." Who cares, the king james bible is one of the most unreliable versions there are. American Standard Version is much better.
daemonowner 1 year ago
If Christians want to eat each others poop, who am I to stand in their way?
JunkmanJim 1 year ago
I'm sure Ezekiel and Malachi could make de Sade vomit
niriop 1 year ago
thanks to the bible we had 2girls1cup.
zecle 1 year ago
Hold on, that first passage in Ezekiel isn't about EATING the dung, but about using dung-fueled fires to cook the bread. Yes, dung is flammable. No, that is most certainly not sanitary.
But for the rest, lol!
Hooya2 1 year ago
Brandt761 1 year ago
It's one thing being against catholics that force their believe upon others, but it's quite wrong to take some verses like that out of a book that's hundreds of years old. People won't really eat poo, they just try to get some wisdom out of the book. There is nothing wrong about it, it's like a hobby.
MadameMcintosh 1 year ago
@MadameMcintosh They force that hobby on the rest of us, tho; ever heard of "faith-based initiatives"?
Sorry, but I'm holdin' it against them; they're taking this fucked up book AND APPLYING IT TO REAL LIFE.
BionicDance 1 year ago 14
@BionicDance Well yeah, like you apply what you learn in real life. Stupid people will do stupid things by taking the bible literally, and be against gays and all that. But scientists may use it to add value to the life they're analyzing. I like to think of a greater thing behind everything too, it's comforting.
Again, they may force their beliefs on the others in america, but here, nobody does. Of course I'm against that way of "believing".
MadameMcintosh 1 year ago
@MadameMcintosh Yes, well, I LIVE in America. I see these religious assholes against gays EVERY FUCKING DAY. I see them against things like stem cell research. I see them impeding scientific progress ALL THE TIME.
How can I do ANYTHING but hate them, feel contempt for them and their superstitions? FUCK them and all their ilk.
BionicDance 1 year ago 25
@BionicDance they don't read it. most of us that start out religionist become atheists BECAUSE we read it. in fact, it used to be that the church forbade people from reading it. i think that canon law is still 'on the books', but like so many other laws, they just don't enforce it. I first heard you on The Thinking Atheist. Now following on twitter. Thanks. and keep up the good work.
iconografer 1 year ago
@BionicDance
So you hate them for being hateful? Hypocrite much?
AirForceGirl05 1 year ago
@AirForceGirl05 Your logic is flawed. Atheists aren't going to kill someone FOR believing in god, but I can guarantee a christian will kill someone for NOT believing in god.
Lateralusmaster 10 months ago
@Lateralusmaster YOURE LOGIC IS FLAWED a real Christian isnt going 2 kill sum1 4 not believing but a christian fanatic would.
splashu1 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@splashu1 YOUR logic is flawed. You're using a logical fallacy called the No True Scotsman fallacy. Look it up.
Lateralusmaster 7 months ago
@MadameMcintosh
What is comforting is not necessarily true. Especially when shown wrong.
Atharkas 1 year ago 2
@Atharkas Actually, it is not shown wrong. Besides, I didn't say it should be true, it's comforting, and that's all that matters.
MadameMcintosh 1 year ago
@MadameMcintosh
If you mean one of the abrahamic faith, yes it has. The very basic story of the original sin is proven to have never happened with biology. Since, with genome comparison, molecular comparison and endogenous retrovirus matches evolution of human and common ancestry has been proven, the tale of Adam and Eve and the original sin is shown to have never happened. Then the story of Jesus become meaningless and so is the Kabaa's origin in the islamic faith.
Atharkas 1 year ago
@MadameMcintosh It's like a hobby? Religious studies is a hobby, maybe, but religion itself is a way of life. It is a way of viewing the world and determines how the rest of your belief system is structured, which is the source of all decision-making and behavior. If your belief system is founded upon the idea that the bible is the unerring word of the supremely perfect source of all creation, then your behavior will reflect such silly thoughts as the ones BionicDance just read directly from it.
TheShibo 1 year ago
@TheShibo You're confusing die-hard catholics with regular catholics. I know quite a lot of catholics, like my mum, but the only thing she does in life based on her beliefs is being friendly, taking care of others, and she tries to avoid doing any harm to anyone, even the ones that harm her. I don't know what she thinks of gays, but she sure isn't fighting against them. I just don't see what the problem is.
MadameMcintosh 1 year ago
@MadameMcintosh As you said, it's hundreds of years old. You can say we shouldn't criticize the israelites cause they lived during different times. But once you start saying that this book applies today and people should follow it, there's a problem.
Mithcoriel 1 year ago
Remember this video:
watch?v=QIGCp1_JrGY
jaymthegenius 1 year ago
no no no that's the OLD testament, in the new testiment it says we should eat bread and believe that it is actually the flesh of Christ and that the wine is the blood, so you no longer have to eat dung but be a ritualistic cannibal instead. that's totally different not nearly that disturbing.
concord327 1 year ago
Mmmm. shit cakes
dalejr88 1 year ago
LOL, that some funny shit.
resedoton 1 year ago
Non-corporeal copropheliac.
NICE!!!
steveb0503 1 year ago
Well my day can't get any better than this! This has got to have been one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time.
oscargordon 1 year ago
I was getting visions of that African asshole leader who says, "An den dey eat da poo-poo."
TheOtherSide100 1 year ago
Holy Crap... God loves poo so sniff it. Oh wait, who?
Hey let us know if u find any proof of anything other than GOD is an ahole in there.
yrrebyam666 1 year ago
its full of more dumb stuff then that, take it from some one trying to read threw it.
thetanplzer 1 year ago
god.
alias: yoweh
fetish: scat
mental status: unstable, schizophrenic, psychopathic
sobored671 1 year ago 2
OUT OF CONTEXT
OUT OF CONTEXT
you see, crap eating used to be a hobby back then.
aryaxt 1 year ago 4
i like to play a game i call "bible bingo" .. you randomly flick through it, pick a line or two , .. then spend the next 5 minutes trying to make sense of it.
Its fun! try it ... a game for all the family.
bonnie43uk 1 year ago
maybe god is the tossed salad man from hbo behind bars pluss if adultry is a sin why did the fathers all do it? and god made it cool for lot to give his daughters up to be raped and let he daughter get him drunk to have incest with him was that not one of the sins of Sodom and gomorrah
pendleton42 1 year ago
HOLY SHIT!!
Trinitics 1 year ago
This book is just full of great dinner party ideas!
smariot 1 year ago
So god is into scat porn, its cool, not my cup of pi..er tea but hey, to each his own. I'd probably get bored after a few thousand years of watching people fucking in missionary only with occasional rape. He DOES watch EVERYTHING right? Why not mix it up a bit with something freaky, but not homosexual, he HATES that...even though he made a lizard species entirely female...
savageecho 1 year ago
Comment removed
savageecho 1 year ago
Isn't it fun to see how little people actually read the bible from cover to cover? How small the number of christians out there are that know what is actually in it?
Good video.. Made me feel like a 8 yo again, laughing whenever someone said 'pee' or 'poo'.
I need help... :-P
Shangori 1 year ago
wow! for years i've been saying the bible is full of shit but i didnt think it literally was
darthslain 1 year ago
My 3G thruput is now down to 500BPS (1/2 kps)! Someone get me my old pegasus 14400 external modem!
jimbocidman 1 year ago
One God, one cup.
MageGrayWolf 1 year ago 53
This has been flagged as spam show
@nilsy1975 Buddhists are human, and subject to human failings. But in general, they don't preach death to unbelievers, nor torture confessions of witchcraft from 'heretics'. In general, I mean ... :)
jimbocidman 1 year ago
@nilsy1975 Buddhists are human, and subject to human failings. But in general, they don't preach death to unbelievers, nor torture confessions of witchcraft from 'heretics'. In general, I mean ... :)
jimbocidman 1 year ago
The book of bad fetisches! NASTY!
Paxmax 1 year ago
Talk about a straw man argument,or would that be quote mining?
sai10000 1 year ago
Love the title.
Apparently shit is shit in the bible.
I think the short answer is most people don't read there bible and those that do have there FAITH blinders on.
Did I mention I love the title?
inquiry10 1 year ago
is.. is.. is that music from donkey kong 64 in the background...?
TheShortStory 1 year ago
Sorry for the multiple posts- no clue why it's happening. I'm using a smatphone with 3G and the signal is fluctuating widely (snowstorm here in Ma.)
jimbocidman 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
jimbocidman 1 year ago
Comment removed
thephilosopherkartik 1 year ago
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
jimbocidman 1 year ago
@tlslayer1 Exactly! Dogma forbids any 'incorrect' thinking! My question is: WHYWHYWHY do so many people take superstitions so seriously they KILL for it?!?!
Apply the definition of 'faith' to any other worldview and it's called Psychosis.
jimbocidman 1 year ago
I am Ezekiel and you are watching "Cooking with Feces" on the Food Network.
DharmaLogos 1 year ago
hi i m an XJew, atheist.
just a little thing about the king James bible
its sucks in translating!!! it makes up words and sometimes whole sentences
real translation from hebrew
Ezekiel : god tells them to eat wheat bread that will be SHOWED in their shit(still stupid but less disgusting)
kings2: drink the water used to clean their feet with their shit
malachi: the word in hebrew is "peresh" i never seen this word anywhere else in the bible or otherwise but jewish retards say its a fabric
adirm18 1 year ago
@adirm18 i just did a little reserch and find that many different jewish retards say diferent things about the word "peresh" (p.s pAresh means horse shit)
the most logical one is trash
non say shit
adirm18 1 year ago
See also "Cooking with Yahweh" by NonStampCollector :-)
KaroKoenich 1 year ago
dude its the medieval equivalent to 2 girls one cup but with a whole society god rocks man he was eons ahead of the internet!
Azurewrath232 1 year ago
The Abrahamic god is into BDSM....who knew?! ;-)
SiriusMined 1 year ago
I recently found you, because of The Thinking Atheist podcast. I must say, I'm glad I did. HILARIOUS stuff.
lordwindowlicker 1 year ago
Comment removed
exacerbatedtaboo 1 year ago
lol, funny video... favorited.
vickmackey24 1 year ago
hmm that verse is more fun than the one about burning your daughter alive after Yahweh lets u take a city or that u can rape a girl as long as u pay her dad some silver and then marry her.
RavenBlaze 1 year ago
wtf is wrong with you people indeed, the more i know about they books the more disgust i feel towards the whole freaking cult.
Aanthanur 1 year ago
Perhaps I missed them, but I'd have thought the eight people whom "thumbed down" this video would have left a comment rebuttal. As usual, Christians are to cowardly assholes to leave a comment. Too stupid to leave a comment by a person with an IQ of 60 or greater - that would be asking a lot! :D
TeenTwinkTween 1 year ago
I could have existed several human lifespans without knowing that... gee, thanks ^_^
PinkProgram 1 year ago
Nice video.
Aanthanur 1 year ago
Join the Church of Scatatology! Even though you gotta eat shit, it's still not as bad as joining Scientology
:D
rationallegomaniac 1 year ago
The King James bible is one the worst versions. It includes added antisemitic messages, replaces the word slaves with servants, and is known to be a translation of a translation of a translation.
FAKEBC 1 year ago
@FAKEBC What version is best?
kaduisaui 1 year ago
@FAKEBC i especially checked the 2 German/Swiss sources of Luther bible and Hoffnung für Alle and other translations from different Christian sub cults.
the sick book does indeed say it.
Aanthanur 1 year ago
Poop-bread: It's what's for dinner!
DixieComic 1 year ago
this was hilarious oh god i'm laughin so hard
veg