Re: THE ARISTOCRATS CONTEST ("The Agent")

[arachnophile01]

I have an aristocrats joke except the punchline is "The Talent Agent"

[PAULCC11]

@laughinfree91392 i wanna hear that whole joke

sounds hilarious

[kenrg]

Now THAT sounds funny!

[BigBruinekool]

Doug Stanhopes version is best

[discos22]

Aw man, I'd want to offend this bearded chap, but its a really bad aristocrats. Firstly because its got absolutely nothing to do with the original joke !!??!?!? What's up with that??

[killmysister]

you suck cracker. you have wasted your time and effort.

[blackturtleus]

Apparently the account of the guy who ran this contest was suspended! I hope it didn't have anything to do with this contest!!!

[kenrg]

He is? Well that sucks. I'm sure he survived this contest, but he did like to push the line all around - I'm sure he'll be back under yet another name (I think "newguywiththeglasses" was already his second or third incarnation).

[Ragdollsoft]

Maybe a funny punchline could have been "and what does he call it?" :D

[kenrg]

Or, how about, "Is he holding auditions? 'Cause I can do that act!"

[Chadhead]

Nice effort kenrg. It's not an easy joke to tell.

[kenrg]

There's a fine line between really telling it right, and violating the TOS...

[ozzyfan999]

Dude sorry to say but that was one of the most boring aristocrats joke's I have ever heard.

[OmfgitzJonn]

p.s, how the f*** did u get this email lol

[OmfgitzJonn]

p.s, how the f*** did u get this email lol

[lollolyoyoyolol]

your a fucking loser

[golepers]

that was a better ending for a joke that i too agree is not that funny, but the movie it is.

Great job

[kenrg]

Thanks!

[maximuswynn]

I've been in the company of these types and honestly what you said was an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!lol

[kenrg]

An understatement, yes, but I had to clean it up a bit for YouTube ;^)

[cosmosofinfinity]

i think that actually was funny! lol that was great! good job!

[kenrg]

Thanks!

[PresOfWeb]

You said to press any button if I didn't want to hear. I had to watch and listen to that horrible story, 'cause I couldn't find the "ANY" button.

[kenrg]

The "Any" button? It's that big orange one that says "Subscribe" ;^)

[anakin1814]

"After all the coke is gone and nobody is getting laid." LOL

I've seen the documentary on this joke, and it was a hilarious movie. It's not often that you need a 90 minute film to explain a joke to you, but then i finally got it!

As for your joke, that's a brilliant twist on it! Good job!

Frankly, if i was telling your version, the agent would have had sex with the dead dog corpse though!

:)

[kenrg]

Thanks! Your idea for the dog's corpse is very much in line with how this would have gone in a bar, and not on a public web site. This IS the cleaned up version, after all.

[anakin1814]

Very true.

And isn't it key that in the bar when you say "The aristocrats" at the end, you're supposed to snap your fingers on both hands! :)

[kenrg]

The finger snap is a nice touch, but not mandatory. Holding your hands out to each side is, however.

[21stCenturyCat]

that was disgusting, some king of warning would have been nice... ;)

[kenrg]

No point in putting in a warning, nobody listens to those anyway.

[Furnifur]

For some reason I kept thinking the punchline was going to be "But did I get the part?" LOL But I don't know much about agents.

[kenrg]

I like your punchline better - I think I'll use that one next time.

[Furnifur]

LOL rock on!

[21stCenturyCat]

ha ha I was thinking exactly that as well!

[Furnifur]

Good we are both sick and twisted! Love it

[TheKillerTwunt]

Wow.  If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to do a cover of this joke.

[kenrg]

Please be my guest - It would be an honor.

[SimenTheDeamon]

plain genius! loved the fact that the dog HAD to sniff the $h!7 on the table! xD

[kenrg]

Of course! What dog could resist that?

[DaChiCaGoBears23]

wow lol

[kenrg]

And it's all true - every word of it!

[DaChiCaGoBears23]

well nice work making up this joke

[KevyNova]

A similiar thing happened to me once...

Great story. I especially liked the part with the #*&%$ and the !$%@*#!

[kenrg]

I threw in the #*&%$ just for you!

[Bigpineapple]

hahahah that "joke" kicked ass man. Yours is the only one i actually watched all the way through! you're a great joke teller. Becasue of this.. i havenow subscribed to your channal!

[kenrg]

Thank you for the comment and the subscription! Now I just want to win that DVD!

[blackturtleus]

When Tom stated that no one watches you channel did he mean A) that those of us who watch your channel are not important, or B) that those of us who seem to be watching your channel do not actually exist?

[kenrg]

That's a good point. That's it! Let's boycott Tom's channel! j/k! j/k!

[excilerart]

haha that was just... wow....

[kenrg]

Thank you!

[pcgod8]

Heh, I laughed, but probably cause you told it so well :P

I've seen a south park version of the aristocrats. It's uh... yeah...

[kenrg]

South Park version of Aristocrats? That's gotta be, well, you know. Thanks!

[GreatGig1]

That was actually a bit funnier than the Aristocrats....LOL I agree, the movie of the comics talking about the joke is a must see...well, with your disclaimer of course...:-)

[kenrg]

Always with a disclaimer... I might do a video of nothing but disclaimers!

[andymooseman]

Good joke, well told Ken.

Love the intro btw :)

[kenrg]

Thank! So, will you be doing an entry into the Aristocrats contest?

[andymooseman]

I hadn't even thought about that until you just mentioned it. I've just watched the original video, so you never know...But don't hold your breath :)

[groovytimes]

oh Jesus your new intro is hilarious...who did it?

[kenrg]

Yaffle did the intro (link in description). I use this one sparingly as it's been known to induce heart attacks.

[crawleykakes]

I would love to have heard Sam Kinison tell this joke his style would be perfect for this bit.........

[kenrg]

Oh, man. Kinison must have had an incredible Aristocrats story, and I doubt it lasted less than 15 minutes.

[knifesedge]

I found it amusing that in the links of similar videos was "Welome from the PM" from the Downing St channel!

[kenrg]

Really? Is the PM an actor or a crazed agent? Or just an obscenity all to himself?

[knifesedge]

Dare I suggest a link to the word "Brown?"

[A2GVB]

Hey man the world has gone PC correct over the top :) What`s with the bell let`s the word Fuck. No bells Buddy :)

[kenrg]

Hey! I make fucking family friendly videos, here. We'll have none of that kind of fucking language. But thanks anyway, mother fucker :)

[A2GVB]

your welcome man. Just love your stuff so polished. :)

[PappyStu]

I never saw the movie.... I can't find your success video... perhaps you didn't make it yet... I never heard of this practice between comedians... Peculiar...

[kenrg]

Definitely rent the movie. But don't watch it at work or with prudes. Success video still on the board of yet-to-shoot...

[PappyStu]

Ah well then no Nun conventions either he he

[MysterEy1]

Havent seen you in awhile Kenrg. Cool video.

BTW I didnt know you held the title of Godfatherof YT. Will you be an officer under that name in the Utubia group?

Go to utubia1 channel and let the little peeps know/ afer all isn't that the prupose of being a Godfather??

[kenrg]

I wasn't aware that I held that title until Yaffle made the intro for me. I try to live up to it, but it ain't easy. Could that be my official Utubia title? That would be cool!

[ajdpadbury]

Wow Ken, cool intros/outros! You told it well my friend!:)

[kenrg]

Thank you, sir.

[LeSaMilano]

I'm still stunned by the vegetable crisper.

[kenrg]

I'm not eating those carrots. No way.

[brignoni68]

There's an old saying that says something like,"The journey is better than the inn." I can sort of relate it to that joke. You had me smiling the whole way through with your delivery but oh the letdown at the end! Still enjoyed it but I really love that intro! Blatant!

[kenrg]

Well, I did warn that the joke itself is not that funny, but, as you say, like The Aristocrats, it's all in the journey. Thanks for coming along!

[speedyconkiwi]

Heart warming, truely heartwarming LOL

[kenrg]

Yes, heartwarming, and True! Every word of it!

[mikma]

MIKMA WAS HERE

[kenrg]

... and offended, we hope ;^)

[BGenerous]

Told in true Aristocrat style--I salute you!

[kenrg]

Thank you - Be sure to vote for me over on the contest vid page!

[Justinmazing]

You sick son of a bitch! Loved it!

[kenrg]

Me, sick? You're the one who watched the damn thing!

[Justinmazing]

Does that mean I need help? Ahh, forget it, I'm sure it doesn't.

[TubularBelle]

Ooh Baby I just love it when you talk dirty, do it some more.

[kenrg]

Just calm down, we don't want to rush it all at once, you know.

[Hermgirl666]

Good thing I'm over 75--although the Yaffle intro almost gave me a heart attack--in a *good* way, though...

[kenrg]

Yeah, heart palpitations are a regular result of that intro. But I figured it was necessary to prepare viewers for the story that followed.

[rextangle]

Wow! LOL

[kenrg]

True story. I swear.

[not2tees]

I'm still recovering from the INTRO!

[kenrg]

I use it sparingly. It's been known to induce heart attacks. Let me know if you need the defibrillator.

[AdmiralDuke]

wasn't 1963 the first year of the Corvette? Oh sorry to poke a hole in your joke. funny.

[kenrg]

That's what made this particular Corvette so special!

[liz1060]

You got one thing wrong, Ken -- the joke IS funny! Excellent rendition and I think I like Aristocrat "related" much better.

[kenrg]

I'm so glad that people are finding this amusing. I've been telling the joke for years to disastrous results. I love YouTube.

[gandersourcefilms]

i remember bathos being eaten by a shaggy dog... - it's the way you tell 'em! :)

[kenrg]

Was that a talking shaggy dog? No, that's a different story.

[Neotrific]

Holy Smokes! I'm just under 75, so I made it throug the whole joke.

[kenrg]

No, no! You're supposed to be OVER 75 to view this video! Now we're going to have to erase your memory again.

[markapsolon]

the new intro rocks!

[kenrg]

Thanks, it's by Yaffle. I just do my best to live up to it.

[periurban]

LOL LOL LOL

[kenrg]

:^)

[SunnyDazStormyNitz]

Love that intro. Enjoyed the joke too.

[kenrg]

Thank you! (and thanks to Yaffle for the intro).

[1938superman]

He's right. I'm totally not watching your channel right now. :-)

[kenrg]

I should hope not. Aren't you supposed to be at work? I know I am...

[ruroremy]

Kenrg is watching theguywithglasses?

It's always funny when you can find people watching other people you know and making video responses. :)

[kenrg]

I actually just found him through another Aristocrats response by thechurchofdave. But, yeah, it's always interesting how our little circles intersect and overlap.

[thefrozenghost]

I love it when you work "blue".

[kenrg]

That's quite an honor coming from the original blue vlogger, thank you!

[pornfartin]

k, gonna watch. better be good.

you will be scored on incest, poo, pee , blood and cum content, generational incest, beastiality and references to menstration.

[kenrg]

Well... to get that all in, I'll have to send you the unedited version. This is the "safe for YouTube" version. But I'm sure you can imagine where all the bestiality, incest, and blood belong.

[pornfartin]

well you did get the raping in, and jimmy leaving with the agent was a nice touch.

[jrsnyderjr]

I can't stand a joke that I always feel compelled to listen to see how somebody did an awful joke...you did it well. damn it!

...I like more the sense of humor you and Tom have about it. ;}

[kenrg]

Tom? That %$*&@? I think we both know how he got on the Community Council...

[bohogirl1]

i knew you were holding back after having seen the movie and i appreciate it. i'm over 75 so i couldn't leave.j/k

[kenrg]

Oh, yeah, this is the "safe for the grandparents" version of this story. When I'm really ready to get kicked off of YT I'll tell the full version ;^)

[livingpassion]

"After they've finished all the coke, when no one's getting laid." -Nicely put, haha. That being said... my brain hurts now. lol

[kenrg]

Thank you for catching that line. I was afraid it would get lost once all the cursing and unspeakable nonsense started.

[livingpassion]

lol, well I had to catch something or I'd have been lost too.

[OhCurt]

I laughed.  But ONLY because I had a job once that involved talking with literary agents on the phone a great deal.

They're not human. I'm convinced.

[kenrg]

Exactly... it's the REALISM that makes this story so good ;^)

[thechurchofdave]

Holy crap Kenrg has gone Hollywood!

I'm not sayin I heard that joke before....I'm just sayin >:) The thing that makes you so dangerous is that for moments here an there, as fuckin weird as you obviously are, you pull off normal pretty well. THAT is the kind stuff people should fear ! Lol

[kenrg]

Disguised as a normal person... it's been a theme of mine for a loooong time...

[FroGhandi]

haha does the humour come natural? you're hilarious.

[kenrg]

I inherited my father's talent for crass jokes. It's a family trait.

[MichaelLydon]

Well done, Ken!! My brother Johnny told me that Aristocrats joke when we were about ten, though we said "The Sophisticates." Turning it into a agent joke, inspired!

[kenrg]

Sophisticates is good too. As long as there's plenty of offensive material between the entrance and the punchline. "The Bush Family" would work well too.

[bwhahrhr]

I expected something a punchline about the poor booze being gone...

[kenrg]

Well, for me, that would be the most difficult part to get over. The poop on the table is no big deal compared all the Single Malt being gone.

[battim]

i love that cartoon into...awesomeness...your sesne of humor always makes me smile....all hail kenrrrrrrrrg.

[kenrg]

Thank you very much. The Yaffle intro is great, ain't it?

[13thDimension]

HA! :D

I love the new intro!

[kenrg]

Thanks - The intro is by Yaffle, there's a link in the description.

[ralfonzo83]

u are a very talented joke teller. that joke wasn´t so bad...but even if it would be, it would be hilarious cause u r telling it. greetings from germany. ralf

ps: i know, repeating things is lame...but MORE JOKES please! :)

[kenrg]

Thanks - Actually, I held back some. If we were in a bar and I were telling this story it would have taken twice as long and it would have REALLY been filthy. This is the cleaned up YouTube version.

[LilCav68]

ahhhhh

[kenrg]

ahhhh? Like, "Ahhhh... think I'll click this off" or "Ahhhh... so that's how the joke goes?" Never mind. Let's just leave it at "ahhh." Thanks ? :^)

[LilCav68]

Ahhh - like when you were in school and someone is being naughty. You want to laugh and you do hoping the teacher doesn't see you and YOU get into trouble too.. hehehehe... >:0)

[kenrg]

Yeah, figures you'd like it ;^)

[citizenstand]

:-)

[kenrg]

I'll take that as a smile in favor of free speech. Thanks!

[geezerart]

He kicked the dog! Bastard! -Freida

[kenrg]

That's the most offensive part, isn't it?

[yaffle]

ken I would just like to say thanks for using my intro on what will not only be your last video on youtube, but also your last video recorded as a free man.

[kenrg]

I'm disappointed, this has been up for an hour, and I'm still in the partner program! I guess they really don't have any community standards ;^)

[kartook]

maybe it was that uncle joe guy :P

[kenrg]

He hasn't got that kind of stamina - but they could be related...

[YouWish8]

NOT THE VEGETABLE CRIPSER !!!!!!!!!!!!

that was a step too far for me... !

[kenrg]

Then I have succeeded in my mission to offend everyone - Thank you!

[KimOsh72]

I guess I'm an odd duck because I chuckled ???

lol

[kenrg]

Not odd... just sick, just like the rest of us... Thanks!

[tlg847]

Didn't I tell you not to tell that joke? I didn't? What the f%$k is wrong with me? That was horrible! (How did you get that email address?)

[kenrg]

You didn't think I'd actually do it, did you? Next time I'll ask bgirl5 for advice.

[tlg847]

Just don't ask that sarrycrey...she'll tell anybody it's OK to do anything!

[kartook]

^^ heheeh nice one ken

[kenrg]

I have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't post this video. It's disgusting! Who is that telling this story?

[SohoSquare]

LRQ (which translates to 'laugh really quietly' - I don't want to be caught finding such filth funny.. but I did) :)

[kenrg]

I guess in the warning I missed "Do NOT watch at work!" - Thanks!

[ooo6]

Kenrg warned you! You can only leave comments knowing you have been warned. 

AWESOME INTRO!

[kenrg]

Intro by Yaffle... I only hope to live up to it.

And, yes, you have been WARNED!

[voxinabox]

Ha!

[kenrg]

Ya!