Crime Reporter Links Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act

[bitterpickles]

I love raw justice

[Parz1fal]

It´s clearly evident that the ruins of this building show many marks of white "stuff". I´m afraid this show doesn´t tell the whole truth. There was probably an orgy of pyromaniacs going on, I even heard rumors that some guy called "Beavis" was among them. Just imagine! Someone like that once was an MTV role model for a whole generation, including me. Now where´s my matches?

[Hater100891]

I'm going to chain myself inside a doghouse then light it on fire while I brutally rape a verb

[NinjassBlackyChan]

Sexual Arsonist lol

[AltyairPvP]

Raw Justice is my favorite piece by far, i love the reporter's attitude like he's always so sure of himself and how Onion goes to long lengths to link it to a sex act :)

[AltyairPvP]

"more than possible"

[h0rnd0917]

Talk about a fetish for pissin fire

[9mizzle]

"but a sexual arsonist driven mad with yearning for the sting of sparks on his naked genitals" HAHAhahaHAhAhAhhaaha

[Shroud66]

That was such an unnecessary video explanation.

[Naroon201]

"He grabbed his penis, surrendering to the roaring flames" LOLWAT

[spinalglacier]

I'm starting to think the reporter was the sexual arsonist.

[ahaetulla]

Raw Justice is the best segment..

[doctorzais1]

the only funny thing about this are the stupidfuk retardates who can't seem to understand that this is NOT real but a satire piece

[highway61orz]

please help japan.

Most Japanese people who have common sense are suffering from bias of TV broadcasting.

The most of bias is about praise of Korean culture. They report false facts of the popularity of the Korean Culture in Japan.

One Japanese actor tweeted this fact on twitter, and he was fired from his agent with in 5days because of his tweet.

Please notice this fact and report the unbiased and practical opinions to Japan to spread this reality.

[cronon94]

damn, theyre onto me

[KalamitiMusic]

oh man The Onion cracks me up everytime.

[anthony66363]

Nice Short Video

[atmatheprophet]

Burning scented candles seem more erotic now.

[L33tObZ]

He grabbed his penis, surrendering to the roaring flames.

O_O

[lilora70]

Shooting his seed into the flames LMAO

[theshredator]

... it was ME!

[AarinGend0]

this actually reminds me of criminal minds (although I like the show)

[collinbollin]

DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!!!

[DevanteBennett]

my bad

[ipkeveryday]

149 people who pressed the dislike button definitely thought it said, DIS-I-LIKE :)

[TaiwanIsntACountry]

fake

[PacManSaviour]

@TaiwanIsntACountry  really? i didnt notice

[KapStuf]

@TaiwanIsntACountry *Fakepalm*

[ragestreet]

Shep smith?

[DunDurDum]

the way the guy tells the story, with all the details, it seems he was the one that did it

[viking977]

so THIS is what clifford banes has been up to

[Flailwielder]

This is like a Daily Show segment.

[TornSlayer97]

Notice how there was no solid evidence even saying this was a arson.

[slayman123]

He grabbed his PENIS ,surrendering to the roaring flames

[cowuhsocky]

Take head, fire-loving sicko in hell... haha!

[psychooutlaw]

Damn I'd like to see the booper really. That f hard to keep a straight face and say lol.

[Xer0Tr0n]

iKnow those pictures @ 1:00!!!!! Those were pictures of the baudelaire mansion from lemony snicket's A series of unfortunate events ^^

[Guitareeist]

This is freaky.. I cant believe what our society has come to

[PimpMyParadigm]

this is getiing me........HOT

(im sry that was bad hahahahha but i hat to)

[MrMerajjio]

shooting his seed into the fire. yeah baby.

[epik1323]

Soo.. Is this a joke?

[bossoholic]

@epik1323 YEs, its the ONION

[epik1323]

@bossoholic Lol yea i noticed after watching more videos on the suggestions .

[nottinmatterz2day]

wow how'd you get the onion symbol taken off of this footage?

[TheSpaceFiller]

I don't know about you guys, but every night i get my rocks off to the cracling flames of my fireplace ;D

[guitarhamster102]

lol WTF???

[mewatchvideo1234]

this is such a good Chris Hansen spoof...hilarious!

[KingsMenMachinima]

The Onion needs to do more videos like this

[ToxicOdiousOne]

The reporter loves gay sex. He imagines a guy jacking off his penis into the fire.

[MrSafetymeeting]

@ToxicOdiousOne How is that gay? I only get off on female fire! 

[InsanePickle007]

Im a sexual rapist.

[Music4AII]

Smoke, the new seducing smell.

[Willster54321]

AHAHAH i bet the reporter has sexual tensions thinking about perverts having sexual tensions

[maffoid]

hm the end kinda reminds me of chris hanson lol

[maffoid]

oh I cum so hard watching a shed burn down... dunno why but sheds really get me going!

[MrOmniblast]

LMAO!

[warpedcomedy]

LOL its obvious by the way he describes it that the host IS the fire-loving sex maniac.

[GenreChowderStudios]

LOL! What the heck?! XD

[ElveeKaye]

Somehow, I will have to figure out how to use "sex bonfire" in a conversation someday.

[viktor606]

Ogano drkle :)

[DrFrankLee]

Did that reporter just confess to the crime? He seemed to know just a little too much information. Any how rock out with your cock out you sick bastard.

[fallenangel165]

For his Macabre sex bonfire

[eggiex1]

I once heard of this guy that was jerking to a fire, kind of one of those dare-devil, kinky experimentations. Well his dick caught on fire from the residue of vaseline he had on it from an earlier experience, and they had to shop off his dck at the hospital. Sexual pyromaniacs always pay for their twisted sins...

[MichaelShi8]

realsitic

[ToxicOdiousOne]

Glad they didn't censor his dick.

[ToxicOdiousOne]

Gay fire fetish.

[flysonic]

o-O

[NE0NBL00D]

The evidence confirms it!!!

[HoboXGaurdian]

LOL FIRE FETISH

[Treebeardism]

I don't get it. It's a legit medical condition. Some people actually do get off to fire. Especially fires they themselves started.

[NE0NBL00D]

@Treebeardism The host included... Get it?

[alfonzo830]

raw justice!

[mekore]

EPIC

[elhayya]

omgggg lmaoooo @ 2:01 what the hell???

[firebrandsgirl]

@elhayya  2:30

[phunkiblu]

this is my new favorite. lmmfao

[MaVsServers]

Its not hot, its smokin!

[aphilly3]

HAHAHAH oh mannnn

[dabaron332]

Flexing his power by telling forcing her to tell him about her day as well.

[SiennaElderly]

I love the onion.

[fathersky5]

This is soooo fucked up!!!

[ChuckinCho]

I wish Raw Justice had it's own show.....

[TheReasonWhyGuy]

isn't east Dakota right next to west Korea XD

[99hesoe]

Funny as hell, and true too!

[HatroVille]

YEAH BABY... Now this is the 21st century humour XD

We have evolved to a whole new level! XD

Love this channel

[woahzombies]

that's hot.

[DgenerationX]

HAHAHAH GLAZED WITH EJACULATE

[nashrah07]

lmao this is hilarious!!!!!!! hahahahaha

[BanjoKazooieTeam]

WHAT THE BALLSACK!

[afroninja22]

this new show is really funny

[Jesseguy11]

@afroninja22 NOT NEW

[Happy0]

hahahah this was hilarious xD xD

[roger1anderson]

its 9/11 all over again

[SirAldrech]

East Dakota LOL

[argozempo]

Some folks like Yahtzee, some folks like baking fritters for the PTA bake sale. Yet some folks desperately yearn for the stinging of sparks upon their naked genitals. Who are you to judge?

[DoctorWeeTodd]

This so called "reporter" spreads hate and prejudice through the pretense of "news." No wonder the world thinks of us as... well, freaks.

I'm tired of these media portrayals that portray fire fandom as nothing but perverts who can't control their urge to burn down buildings.

Most of us live normals lives and would never set flame to a flame and hurt structures without consent.

[wisdom668]

@DoctorWeeTodd

Can't tell if trolling

Or just stupid

[DoctorWeeTodd]

@wisdom668 I can't tell if you're the same thing.

[Naroon201]

@DoctorWeeTodd Please tell me you're trolling

[DoctorWeeTodd]

@Naroon201 Please tell me you're trolling.

[Naroon201]

@DoctorWeeTodd Not until you tell me whether you were or not. Trololol

[DoctorWeeTodd]

@Naroon201 It's just that people and their stupid misconceptions piss me off. Not all fieries are freaks.

[Naroon201]

@DoctorWeeTodd I just re-read your original comment. I don't think the point of the video was to portray fire fans in a negative light. The Onion is purely satire, and the "reporter" in this piece is portrayed as an idiot, basically. Nearly everyone he interviews in this segment are puzzled or astonished by his stupidity. It's basically making fun of how reporters and companies like this will dramatize and over sensationalize things to get ratings.

[ianandwilliam]

@DoctorWeeTodd its fake u idiot

[DoctorWeeTodd]

@ianandwilliam The discrimination that fieries face every day from online bullying to offensive portrayals on TV such as CSI is indeed very real. This reporter wouldn't have his job if he linked this crime to someone being gay or black.

Some people are just born attracted to fire and we can't help it.

[oddvidios]

this is the best thing since the mean carmakers

[Combobaracker]

I don't think I'd ever be able to keep a straight face if I had to do one skit for the onion.

[antif4celtic]

@marq46

Uh, it's a satire.

[bryal]

Raw Justice needs to be a show of it's own on the Onion network.

[Holokauston]

@bryal +1

[thehype16]

Gee, thanks alot onion, I just had to watch this while eating my cereal... spent last 2 minutes cleaning it up.

[FelchBelcher]

OMFG, reading all the comments from the morons who actually think this is real makes me realize something.

As a society - WE ARE FUCKED!

[theshredator]

Man, this is too funny.

[mldemond]

...to mask his squeals of ecstasy as he stroked his chaffed member one last time; shooting his seed into the fire

[JCYK90]

It's a reflection of how overemphasised and alarmist shows like this are through is rigid host, language used and provocative reenactments and imagery.

[ToxicOdiousOne]

Gay porn. I bet gay men favorite this video.

[ToxicOdiousOne]

I like nudity. The nude man masturbating was hot.

[ashleysbudz]

as he stroked his chaeffed member one more time

[ToxicOdiousOne]

Gay. There's even a nude man? Whoa!

[iLiekPantsWifKetchup]

You've left alot of comments about gay people loving this video '>.>

Is there something you're trying to tell us all?

[ToxicOdiousOne]

Sexual arsonist.

[TheHighwaytoHell]

We asked police but they wouldn't respond to our questions, citing, "A complete lack of evidence that anything like that occurred."

[mark89]

that was just so graphically described... e_e

[Jesse1Zionist]

aha tha host did it

[djupvit]

Lol, Well done. This is humor on the next level. Keep up the good work.

[xxredlifexx]

haha just because a warehouse goes up in flames they assume a sex arsonist... classic

[alistairproductions]

best Onion video I have yet seen. This is an absolute comedic gem going directly into the record books.

[OMEGA2669]

Holy... wtf... this is random as hell.

[AAustinWBornman]

Hahaha!! Yaye!!

[TriasTheBetrayer]

Lol, They are making it sound like it was the host who started the fire because he has a sexual fetish for fire. Brilliant!

[Purafusu]

This might be the best one the Onion's ever done.

[murrymurrymurrymurry]

ZOMFG WTF?LOL

[BobbyJoeThorazine]

It was Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford. Seriously, look him up. The man has issues.

[bobdole92]

i was just waiting for him to say: "I'm Chris Hanson, with dateline NBC............. lmfao

[freeradicals]

BIZZARE PYRE.

[blip3452]

OMG Mark summers

[u2bzane]

2:28 haha

[EminemLove24]

hahahaha

[spotandedgar]

Who rates down a Onion video? Really?

[Hellothere212121]

@spotandedgar - The idiots who think it's real.

[VanZeppelin82rr]

Lol hes so descriptive. Makes me think the host did it. (dont freak out i know its a joke) this is definately their best one imho.

[NameInVainProduction]

I love this! Almost as much as a sexual arsonist loves fire.

[TaffyAlpha]

Birmingham Police [...] found a complete lack of evidence that anything like that occurred.

[asaratkhandr]

lol, i think the announcer did it :P and yes i know this is satire

[bealtespip123]

Hmmm.......It all makes sense!

[ryomali]

This is sooooo wrong..... but too funny

[people6]

i can't stop laughing lol

[lookdizzy]

Their videos are sooooo funny. And the greatest thing is that half of the viewers think they are real. XDDDD

[MrJUACATA]

they are not real? it means Lil Wayne did not smoke 40 tons of marijuana or snort a pile of cocaine as tall as a man?

[lookdizzy]

yeah, sorry to burst your bubble.

[TehKilar1337]

@MrJUACATA No, he really did do that part.

[Bibliomaniac15]

In every story there's a grain (or a pile as tall as a man) of truth...

[dm121984]

Those damn sexual arsonists. NEarly as bad as the sexual terrorists.

[rollx2015]

The things they do with their camels...

[OameyAwesome]

XDDDDDDDDD

[W4RLoL87]

That was just wrong, but hilarious at the same time. XD

[Kickasss119]

that powershot commerical with the singing lady is fuckin ANNOYING!

but this vid is sooo awsome... so it kinda balances out

[C4LV1N0]

Hahaha.

[bretp99]

Come on, reenactor, light my fire!

[LookOfDisaproval]

ಠ_ಠ

[whoismikeflores]

it never happened. look at the other vids the onion has posted and you will see that this is supposed to be for comedy. What is it with people and thinking its real...

[KingOfTheClutch]

HA HA HA HA HA WOW, did the "EAST DAKOTA" part at the end not tell you it was a fake? ONN, absolute MASTERS of fooling people.

[csskid]

hey this guy is from the Food network! !

man has his career gone down the hole.

[blip3452]

@csskid Mark Summers for the win

[melissacondon]

haha, yes, the onion has done it once again : ]

[09jake12]

lmfao and if u dont think its funny, you prolly just havent seen any of the shows its trying to make fun of

[BlackMagister]

This one was just weird...

[soccerchuck8]

Even though this is fake, it shows have real media gives its point of view ]=

[42317]

Sexual Arsonists? That's so grotesque. :-)

[andrewb58]

I didn't find this one funny... first one in all the onion videos...

[manatyson]

"About 3:15 I was reading a magazine behind my desk when i heard a loud boom. I looked out to see a big orange flash from the ware house. Thats when it colapsed"

Lol,,, The whitness said the Ware house exploded at 3:15 how could the man be inside jerking off if the bulding colapsed...

No chared bones or remains were found nor was a ladder :D

SUCK IT

[mmmmmarcus]

rule 34! if you can imagine it, chances are it exists!

i love the onion!

[Un1c0RnHeinz57]

Noob! Rule34 isn't just about it existing, it's about it existing as PORN!

Rule 35 states if there's no porn of it yet, there will be.

Go back to ED school.