Balance

[SavedByJesus14]

According to your number of subscribers (which is 387,391 today [January 20, 2012]), there are 372,010 people who are not true fans. (This was calculated by the number of views on this video being subtracted from your number of subscriptions, because I care *that* much.)

[tinafey9797]

hate you GRRRRRR!

[Rudolfusgaming]

Balance 2.0 dont u mean

[Omeegia]

you're a shithead, craig. ;)

[anythingbreanna]

I didn't watch the video before I read the comments. I was about to get pissed off at a lot of people.

[fortheloveofLDS]

'That was a statistical outlier!'

:D

Err...I mean. Craig, you're not funny at all.

[bubbly221]

no one can hate you craig

[KaberianRoyalty]

*wink* 

[yuffferz]

Fuck you

[TheJokersTwo]

HATE HATE HATE I HATE BEARDS

(p.s.) click dislike beacuse he wants the hate

thumb this up so everyone can help wheezy

[sethboy66]

@TheJokersTwo NNNOOOOOOOO don't dislike :( like the video he just wanted hateful comments. (sidenote) Hateful should be spelled with 2 L's not just 1. weird.

[MusicAfterSilence]

ಠ_ಠ

[GregTheBarge]

Awesome

[DowntownDanielbrown]

I hate you Wheezy Waiter! jk! maybe

[mrninjaboner]

shave that beard shaycarl has a way better beard

[chuksparklz5454]

i love maury!!!!

hate hate hate im a hater

[SuperEmjo]

Soothing,

[lwolke8]

This is a positive comment

[lidiluvu]

"oh my god that makes me feel really good!" ahahaha

[Mer1002]

"ah lollipops and rainbows" "i do what I can" I LOVE YOU <3 teehee

[zigaron2]

heres something that would piss u off lol, they dont allow beards in heaven, sry weezy :/

[kuliimjulischreiben]

Ahhhh lollipops and rainbows!!! I do what I can.

[maltagrl]

lol @statistical outlier!

[TopBunkTommy]

you're beard is lame and you have a split personality syndrome oh ya and i just gave your boss a bagel!!!!

[Kataron]

Negative comment, eh?

That beard makes your butt look big.

[UkeaOP]

"That was a statistical outlier!"

Hilarious video, always happy to delve into the National Wheezy Archives. wait, I'm supposed to be negative. um...

Your production values are subpar and you have no dream of any future commercial endorsement. :P

[DanShorr]

EAT SOME NEGETIVITY FOO !

[nightsfire]

R-rated fortune cookie... :D

[alexmanofwar]

You're ugly and your momma dresses you funny. *ding* hehehe....

[erickd888]

i actually like you wheezy but ill try to be mean "no offense" Your an old man with barely any hair on your head, you live alone in a moldy old crappy apartment with a shitty car that you can barely offord to keep running. you think your cool because your in a band but at your age thats just sad. i hope you die alone.....im sorry Craig! i really do love watching your shows, but you asked us to be mean <3

[houmand]

You ROCK!

[Noseisbig]

You are a big doo doo head hehehehe *Dong* OH DAM I MEST IT UP!

[Tracykae]

You are the best!

[stuckelini]

i hate your ugly teeth ;) *ding*

[pyrokidd561]

Dude kill hating you, You are so funny!

[AisforApplez]

WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY?! DAMN YOU!!

I'm here to balance ;)

*ding*

[kookieforcocoapuffs]

You can't hate on the Wheezinator!

It's humanly impossible and leaves you feeling lower than dirt!

I love Wheezy Waiter :)

[zunathanzu]

I hate you, you are ugly, and fat, and pretty dumb. Your probably gay and you think you are so cool, but you are not cool you are just an old looser trying to be cool.

[Jaxycat67]

Before you call someone a "loser", why don't you learn how to spell first, and then try to call him gay and stupid and old. Get me his age, sexual preference, and IQ and I'll believe you. Right now, you're just a complete idiot to me.

[zunathanzu]

Jaxycat67

why don't you watch the video and my hateful comment will make more sense you nimrod.

[kimisizer]

Watching the video has nothing to do with your insults that don't even make sense. Looks like somebody's jealous of WheezyWaiter.

[zunathanzu]

watch the video man, my insults are sarcastic. I think WheezyWaiter is the greatest even if he is a gay retard who eats poop

[littleglonia]

@kimisizer um.. if you watch the video craig asks for negativity to balance out the good comments.

[kimisizer]

@littleglonia My comment was negative :)

[littleglonia]

@kimisizer aaaah! ;)

[splicegrrl]

favorited for the modern-day confucius

[nerdfighter137]

I shall know hate in the way only a youtuber can.

"wtf r u sum kind of gay ass mother douche hobo with disibilitiez!?!"

[Jaxycat67]

Hahaha dude

u forgot fag :)

helpin any way I can!

<3 weezy waiter :D

[nerdfighter137]

Damn thought i had them all

[tidyskies]

I HATE YOU WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY?!

[Jessicarae7]

negative.

wtf. why the hell would i want to watch this bearded idiot in the... totally awesome sports coat that he wears everyday? that bearded lion like man.

i couldn't finish. i love this channel too much. and i don't know why i called you a lion, but it's a not a negative thing. :D

[simplyplainethan]

hate..

hate...

uhhh.

they didnt wink at the same time!

your mother!

ummm

yeah i'm out

never was good at hating =/

[angelaati]

my goodness you must be like the funniest person ever (:

[morken3]

lovin the lip raise

[jabberjabber7]

who wouldn't?

[jabberjabber7]

who wouldn't?

[ryanindauk]

*hate comment*

[irishmuffin23]

You have no friends

[CaptainWilhelm]

YOU 4 YEAR OLD awesome man

[holliesracingshoes]

this is my favourite video of yours probably

[1SallyMander1]

this is a hateful comment.

[wheezywaiter]

ouch.

[1SallyMander1]

I know.

And that was from the heart.

[scarface12347]

@wheezywaiter this is a loving comment.

[SmellyFeetProduction]

You keep corpses in the wardrope and your beard needs to e dyed?

Good enough hate?

[jhoney313]

I can't hate. I'm late. I like you.

[MrsLuciusMalfoy7]

You are so awesome!! :D I mean..um..I hate you, you're a retard.

[latra0]

ahahahaha what??? rofl

[ZeeBecks]

grats on 1k subscribers. Keep em coming. ^.^

[iforgotmyonlinename]

Yourrrr Greeeat :)

so i hate you?

hows that for a hateful comment?

lool

[WrittenInDork]

"Grrr. -insert hate comment-"

Seriously though, awesome video xD

[WoahMeriMae]

Asking for haters?

Oh dear!

If you do get some you should make a video about the funniest worst.... worst funniest.... Oh crap well the funniest hater comments [there we go:3] that you get.

Sorry I can't help hate on you, you're too funny!

[kwldan]

Big congratulations on 1k subscribers man, keep up the good videos and it will be 10k before you know it.

[leobotgrl90]

i liked the whole vid.

made me laugh like a little girl

[kelseyleannemusic]

i said "whoa!" out loud at the 'punch' - loved it!

[OhNoCheerios]

ahhh hilarious as usual...

[fuathurio]

Craig

I notice you have exactly 1000 subscribers as I type this. Does the 1000th subscriber get a prize?

[Director705]

Alright, hater comments? Hmmm.

Damn it, I've got nothing. I think the beard puts me in a trance or something. You probably have subliminal messages in the video don't you you sandbaggin' son of a bitch!

:>

[Nanalew]

youtubers don't do 'balanced schedule' very well....

[atiugapmas1]

god you've brainwashed me with your stupid video I can't even come up with a good hate comment!!!!

why did I subscribe to this show?!?!

I'm going to get even MORE dumb

[EricsEveryNewDay]

Man you suck without breakfast

/meanness

[shazukal]

I lolled when you apologized to the 4 yr old subscribers

[LlamasOnCrack]

I hate you you big fat bearded Loch Ness monster.

NESSIE

BRAWRS!

xD

That's all I could think of on the spot. I hope it brought you tears.

[0c4pnh4nk]

:) I like it.

[TreeSurfing]

/watch?v=rM9-2Ou2tgI

yay this video makes me think

/watch?v=rM9-2Ou2tgI

[rainyelle]

your videos seem to be the anti-inspiration, and so i can come up with nothing better to say than "you suck."

[homskllet]

i hate this show and i dont know why i subscribed

Try and not cry after that!

[sasaquasa]

Mr. Waiter, i would just like you to know that you offended me deeply in your video. I want you to know that i used to be four and a little girl. When you said those hurtful words, you basically said you disliked the way i was raised. How dare you

[Director705]

You tell him!

[LeeCee14]

this was so weird

[acdcfan7]

you worthless piece of ([Ding])

You are a nasty pervert

there you go

your awesome........at sucking

[Miturtle]

wow that was the biggest waste of my time EVER.

*winkie*

[KaoruKat]

The sleep thing happens to me too XP Awesome video :D

I'm not gonna hate cuz I can betcha that most of your comments right now are hate comments and you need a balance! XD

[vulcanbirdbrain]

you filthy worsted-stocking knave!, a foolish gnat should eat the old feeble carrion off your bones!

...what a whoreson beetle-head! . . .

[ldssmith]

Well I usally like you but.

Common this would be the badest video ive ever seen you suck so much, If i had arms i would make a video and explain HOW much this video sucked.

Jks <3 you, just going along with you video =)

[mycatlikesboxes]

On behalf of all little Australian Girls:

"We Hate You"

[xXCatCrissAngelFanXx]

what if i just write hate all over this comment.. is that considered a hate comment? hate hate hate hate hate..... yes ur right i cry a lot.. but im not a little girl.. 17 isnt that young... hate hate hate... hate... yeahhh...

[HyperKid66]

ahaahaha, your editing skills rock!

oh... uh i mean...

u suck?

[corporalcadet]

What is this? How shitting immature can you be for someone who looks like he's pushing forty. Seriously though Tom, Todd and I created you we gave you power here on youtube and now you gonna abuse it for your stupid games. I wish I could go back in time get myself a high paying job to earn some cash then I would fly to the UK and shoot Todd and Tom in their faces before they could ever whore your stupid ass out. Then right before I turn the gun on myself thats when I'd wink for you.

[wheezywaiter]

I completely agree. You should wink for me.

[RustfaceDUBSTEP]

@wheezywaiter wheezy ownage

[annonroi]

@corporalcadet dayum thats the best one ive seen so far

[PickleMcPicklehiemer]

I'm not so good at the hating...

BUT! You are less likely to ocut yourself on a sharp knife than a dull one *nod*

My grandfather often enlightens me with this information.

[xAlliebabax]

You are my favorite haha

[souprawr]

it's people like you that make us little girls cry!

you are a sick, sick man.

[nithin1997]

i hate you

[XandGunn]

You're kinda awesome, but your beard isn't as sexy as Toddly00's.

Is that insulting?

I hope so.

[wheezywaiter]

Oh damn! Finally, a comment that actually pisses me off!!!!!

[floresentorange]

you are a very bad person and poptarts are for eating! not rubbing on your naked upperbody! MUAHAHAHAHAHA

i know. that was the most hate filled comment anybody has ever written. oh yeah.

PS: you rock :]

[broadwayhottie]

you hurt yourself really well, it makes me smile.

how's that for a bit of schadenfreude!?

I WANNA WINK AT THE END OF ONE OF YOUR VIDEOS!

that is all.

[panicatthediscoROCKZ]

hate comment? oh crap im not good at that!

[CGmovieproductions]

YOU CAN'T WINK WORTH CRAP!

How's that?

Yeah, I know I'm evil.

[chrisontv88]

You crap at life the world and everything. Is that good enough?

[laaalivia]

hahaha " i do what i can"

[laaalivia]

Im not a fan of balance.. sorry but i have to say you are the funniest man alive

:)

[dbrownnnn]

i hate this video so much that i love it.

i'm too sweet to be negative, but i gave it a go.

brilliant!

[lovekimbra]

you're... not funny?

i'm sorry but i just don't think i can leave you a mean comment. sigh.

[redstrawberrymuncher]

haha your videos are so funny.

=]].

[bakingwithmish]

you look like a grandmother

[okasey]

hatehatehatehatehatehatehateha­teahahtahtehatehateahhtaahtaht­athahahahatehatehatehatehateht­aehtatehhehathatehatheathaatha­ethathatheathteaht

!

[Toddly00]

your beard looks like poo. .

ya, poo

. . bitch

[wheezywaiter]

your beard looks like jealousy, fool.

[kemey1494]

You have a slight lisp...and that is bad of you to have...and you are right, you do have a sense of humor like a four year old...and other stuff...that is negative

[LiterallyTheJoy]

ooooo I know.

you're video suk u r so gay an r stupid my gramma make better video then you.

lol I can't do this with a serious face, it's just too much fun mocking people who leave hate comments

[Allkerswarthy]

...err okay...um... you sir, are a roguish cankerblossom! I biteth my thumb at thee!!! ...whatever the hell that means...

....

:o)

[Omnibomulator]

omg, thats some sever shakespearian insult, lol, i love it!

[Allkerswarthy]

haha tis indeed! good stuff :o)

[icedteamagic]

You are so... not funny. All you do is.... not funny stuff. I can't be negative about your videos, sorry! :D

[SimplyJalyn]

hahahaa i cant insult u i cant!

[dozzzier]

I HET U YO VIDEOS SUCK YO EYES IS TOO BIG

How's that for negativity?

[imzUnicorn]

Well, maybe you were just tired because you were waking up. When your waking up, you don't want to because your tired....

...Or something like that.

[P00P0STER0US]

I wish they had a "flag for funny" button. I've been rating 5 stars for about a year now. Does anyone actually pay attention to those anymore? If you get a piano key when you wink, do you get a kazoo when you fart? Are dead batteries really dead? Were they ever alive? Sometimes my speakers yell at me and it's confusing. Does that mean they're broken? Neutrogena hand cream is effective, but was Oldtrogena a bunch of crap? If you help me with these questions, I'll probably just ask more questions.

[wheezywaiter]

I pay attention and thanks for the ratings.

The other answers:

no, yes, no, seek help, maybe. I have yet to look at a pile of feces and say, "That's Oldtrogena". But that's just me.

[1x3tzght]

Jey! I´m so glad I subscribed to your channel. You´re so creative. Thank YOU!

[lalamoola]

umm... Ill try be mean

...ummmm.....ok.....YOU SMELLLLL!!!

JKJKJKJK (that was hard)

ok so I havent smelled him (or have I)

[obitoxitachi]

i...i can't. i was reading some 'hate' messages, and they're really upsetting. and they don't even mean it!! i'm sorry, but i can't even pour hate on people i hate very well.~

[KBREeZy151]

you sir are hilarious

and to balance it out, you suck and should probably stop making videos

[RorysGotStyle]

I very much love your videos..

And am subbing.. :D

[pixiedolores]

random question - what's your favorite salsa? I too love chips and salsa, and my condiment of choice is Mrs.Renfroes Black Bean salsa, but it's an endangered species. Do you like it spicy, mild, or burning off your taste buds?

[chrissyjeano]

You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach.

Yeah, I stole it from Harry Potter.

[kaosboy13]

filthy little mudblood.  :D

[chrissyjeano]

*gasp*

[imzUnicorn]

You mean mugblood?

[kaosboy13]

mud-blood = dirty blood, a derogatory term used in the Harry Potter series by bigoted full-blooded wizards and witches to describe wizards and witches born of only one magical parent. And the phrase "filthy little mudblood" was used in the movie Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban.

[clandestinecoherence]

*sends lots of hate to you*

;P <--my sad attempt at a e-wink or whatever.

[MaryAnimated]

Why am I subscribed to you again? This video made me realize that I wasted my time subscribing and watching your videos.

Please..don't bother anymore. It's not worth it.

(hows that? xD)

[omgmhazzrocks]

but but how can i hate you?

you are exceedingly funny! xx

[HatticusRex]

my 4 year old girl feelings are hurt

[Amiryfey]

How do you choose who gets to wink?

[wheezywaiter]

it's actually somewhat random. I plan to get to every one of them. Today's was picked because of the time I had left. I keep the videos under 2 minutes. Oops, there goes my secret.

[1992Jarhead]

I can't be negative! Your videos are so amazing and hilarious and saying otherwise would be breaking the law! or something..

anyway. You can make me laugh and for that I am thankful. So... thanks xD

P.S. I'm Danish so if I misspelled anything - I'm sorry :)

[mistressryeanna]

★ COPY AND PASTE IF YOU THINK ★

★ THIS GUY IS A BIG DOUCHEBAG ★

Only because you want some hate.

I enjoyed your statistical outlier comment.

I laughed out loud.

Ok, maybe not out loud, but I thought about laughing out loud.

[24Bradley]

You Suck!......

Nice Vid.

[pixonu]

★ COPY AND PASTE IF YOU THINK ★

★ THIS GUY IS A BIG DOUCHEBAG ★

lol ;) Maury

[Cadwaladr]

You're the stupidest, most juvenile and least funny person on YouTube!

How was that?

[Ash9214]

I had planned to think of insults, but I simply can't.

You make me laugh too much to insult you lol

[marshmallow163]

i love your vids! glad todd reccommended you lol =]

uhhh you big.. smelly... toad.. *sticks out tongue*

[melodychef]

You are really a big....no, can't do it. You're funny. I'm going to keep watching you. You'll have to get hate from someone else.

[mcrpree]

well i hate you then

but i love watching ur random videos

[ragja]

I don't think I could insult you even if I wanted to. You see, I'm such a nice person. Looks like everyone else is doing a pretty good job though :]

[bassownz]

all the haters are on the comments on my channel i think ,lol.

[JrockMuse]

:P I enjoy watching!

[JRocker921]

dood, ur so fukin gay. who th hell smeers poptarts on themselfs??!!

nobudy cares about you or ur jackass mom. loser

[Graszood]

If you would show this to the inventer of film, he wouldn't be impressed.

[GordonEdward]

You may be the best in the small pool of fish reviewed by other sites, but they have yet to target people with actual talent.

[jadennation]

your gay (stock hater comment. note the lack of the apostrophe in "your").

The wink ding is epic. - Jaden

[realism18]

you're so fucking brilliant.

:)

[ramblingsofafool]

Oh mY GoD YoUr sO GaY Nd StUfFz

yOu SuCk dUdE

[/lies]

I FREAKIN LOVE YOU, MAN ^__^

[lunaticaution]

u a creep man, weirdo, looooser

[UTubeReviewed]

Only because you asked for it:

"U R Dum. And ur hair iz stoopid. Oh, and you should wear that captain's hat from a couple of video's ago more often. Or don't. Who carez."

[phampants]

i can't make a grown man cry! there's no crying in baseball!

[DeeLamps]

I hate you. You're stupid.

No I can't even say that. It's a lie

[charlieissocoollike]

ur mom is so hot, but you suck and stuff

[soopushie]

ur gay. lol.

[laurizee]

Poptart waster!

CRY GIRLY!

;)