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  • Should rename this as "Let's Watch - 300"

  • toenails shape as razors!

  • @carbonlaminate the cerebro/magneto thing is a running joke in the rifftrax series that started after they did x-men

  • "Oh that's right! We got a giant! Let's see what HE can do!"

  • "They have served the dark will of Persian kings for 500 years..."

    "They deserve a raise!"

    "OK, who took my happy mask?"

    "They may be immortal but they could use a ladder."

    "They're very creative with dead guys."

    And my favourite:

    "Have we got anything like....oh, that's right, we have a giant, lets see what he can do!"

    I think this one is by far the best RiffTrax.

  • I can't stop laughing at "They deserve a raise" and "Eleven and one this season alone"

  • I hope the Rifftrax guys will do "Watchmen" (another Zack Snyder

    film) when it comes out to DVD and Blu-Ray later this year.

  • stupid shot at 1:45 the immortals are running in a close conga line, 1mph jog.

  • it's great, but it needs the silhouettes of mike, goel, and tom servo in front

  • I expected them to say "Hulk smash!" when the giant showed up.

  • let's see what else we got OH we have a giant, let's see what he can do!

  • I actually watched this thing for the first time a few days ago. Ye gods, it's worse than even I expected.

  • Hey, who took my happy mask? lol

  • Man I miss the clip with "This is S'part of a balanced breakfast!"

    I laughed til I cried!

  • This is by far my favorite RiffTrax. Absolutely hilarious.

    "Oh yeah that's right we have a giant! Let's see what he can do."

  • "The deadliest fighting force in all of Asia...."

    "The Russian volleyball team?"

  • WHO TOOK MY HAPPY MASK!!!!

  • a racism debate on a rifftrax vid....my faith in humanity is officially gone out the window.

  • What? Come on, is this the first time you've looked through the Youtube comments? That's nothing compared to the depravity I've witnessed.

  • Oh man was this a good rifftrax for a really bad movie.

  • What is that lump anyway? Did they implant a bomb?

  • Must be an infected wound.

  • Even worse.

  • It's what we like to call an abscess. A cross between a pimple and Rush Limbaugh.

  • Who's he?

  • Your obviously a Democrat.

  • Eeeeeeeeeyup!

  • Isn't using the words "pimple" and "Rush Limbaugh" in the same sentence kind of redundant?

  • Exactly.

  • Bill: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Midnight Oil!"

    Kevin: "How can we dance when our beds are burning?"

    The bald, Uber-Immortal Giant resembles lead singer Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil, thus prompting Kevin to begin singing their song, "Beds are Burning."

    For more RiffNotes on RiffTrax, visit riffnotes blogspot.

  • Wow, it'd be even better to see those three little silhouettes on the bottom right.

  • Gooood times.

  • Hey! Who took my happy face mask???

    XDD

  • what do we have here o we have a giant lol

  • They're basically pre-ninja ninjas

  • With pre-Kabuki Kabuki masks

  • And using pre-samurai samurai swords.

  • "Hey, who took my happy mask?"

  • How is it racist?

    Its based on a comic book thats based on a war that actually happened...

    Go ahead, make a time machine, aand stop some spartans yelling "STOP! THIS IS RACIST!"

  • Hate to rain on your parade, but Spartans were pretty much trained like modern special forces. And LOL. The Immortals and one or two weird things were the only 'dark and deformed'.

    If it was rascist, hey would have made the movie with on of their intents being 'WOW, LETS BE RACIST AGAINT PERSIANS!"

    If you don't like it, don't watch to movie or read the comic.

    All these people like you need to stop bitching about "OMG THIS MOVIE IS RACIST!" Its just a movie/comic.

  • Right, special forces that practiced eugenics and kept a fascist state in order to keep their large slave population at war.

    The racism was in some ways subconscious by the morons who made it, but I find it a little suspect that the Persians are portrayed as darker than the Greeks, even though Iranians and Greeks look pretty similar.

    Ah, the classic, idiotic "Don't read it" thing. Right, I should also not look at the cockroaches in my grandma's house.

    Ever heard of "Birth of a Nation"?

  • Like I said before;

    Its not hurting you. Theres no reason you and several others have to flip a shit like little 12 year olds over a movie.

  • Whatever you say, D.W. Griffith.

  • umm. the spartans were white. and the persians were dark arabian colored. sounds like the comic book got it right.

  • Tell me, do you know where the word Aryan comes from? Central Asia. Persia. India. The Persians and Greeks looked very much alike. Have you ever even SEEN an actual Persian or Greek?

    BTW, Arabian IS white. Or at least Semitic, which is certainly not subsaharan African.

  • yup. my friend tommy. real names ahmad. ur point?

  • Wow, thanks for that honey. I wholeheartedly agree...lighten up, people.

  • 11 to 1 this season alone.

  • This one's hysterical. I love 300, but it's storytelling narrative just begs for farce.

  • ah yes we got a giant on our team lets see what he can do

  • The Russian volyball team?

  • *as the dead guys fall*

    Mother!

  • "Oh, thats right we have a giant, lets see what he can do!"

    LMFAO! Mike is still king!

  • "Huberis which is Greek for Huberis" LMAO!!!

    :3

  • Eleven and one, this season alone!

    The big ball dupe!

  • 300 is a terrible film, glad they riffed it.

  • Why the hell is there a debate on fascism going on? It's just a Rifftrax video. You should really just relax.

    "Oh that's right, we have a giant! Let's see what he can do!"

  • "Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show,

    I should really just relax!'"

    "They're immortal, but they could use a ladder!" XD

  • toenails sharp as razors!

  • freakishly high blood presure!

  • I was actually crying with laughter while I watched this! I have never seen anything so funny in all my life.

  • "Mother!"

  • funny, these should be way way longer

    300 was the most boring slowest meandering movie I've ever sat through, and I like gory action movies. Hell I liked the new Rambo movie, same thing, just gorier and faster. 300 looked like it was edited on cough syrup...

  • you can get the full movie with their commentary on their website =]]

  • No you cant!

  • "We got anything left? Oh yeah, we have a giant! Let's see what he can do!" HAHAHA!

  • I know it was insanely historically inaccurate and basically an excuse to show a bunch of shirtless savages kick ass. Nonetheless, I liked 300. *shrug*

  • what do we have left, oh yea we have a giant!

  • AWsome!! THe RUssian Volleyball TEAM!!! MORE!!!

  • "Who took my happy mask?"

  • This is my favorite Rifftrax to date...that and Battlefield Earth. When you get all 3 together, they're hilarious.

    Xerxes: [puts hands on Leonidas' shoulders] Mmmmmm, Your soooooo Tense.

    That's my fav. line.

    The more I see video footage of these guys, I grown more addicted to them.

  • MORE!!!!!!

  • Can anyone answer this question:

    When you pay 3.99 on the site for a movie. Do you just get the audio?, and do you have to sync it with the movie?

  • nevermind i just read the FAQ

  • Man, I can just picture the theater in front of this clip. As much as I loved the g-novel, this movie really needed this treatment. And who better to choose?

  • That two-minute clip had more laughs in it than ANYTHING I've seen connected to that soon-to-be-released comedy abortion "Meet The Spartans".

  • But Mike, Bill, and Kevin are actually FUNNY, unlike anyone working on "Meet The Spartans."

  • Right you are!  ...They really need to bring Mystery Science Theater 3000 back to TV.

  • No question. Well, that might have to wait, but Cinematic Titanic is another step in the right direction.

  • Amen. The fact that "Meet the Spartans" actually held the #1 spot at the box office -over fucking RAMBO!!- tells me that humanity as a species peaked sometime in the 20th Century, and we're now slowly devolving back into chimps.

  • i heard meet the spartans was REALLY bad.

  • it got a 3% rating on rotten tomatotoes dot com

  • I hope the guys at Rifftrax will poke fun of that movie next. (When it comes out on DVD and/or Blu-ray.

  • If they did a Rifftrax for Meet the Spartans, it'd probably just be 70 minutes of the Film Crew bitterly weeping. As much as it deserves a good drubbing, I don't want them to riff it because I don't want any excuse to put that execrable trash in my DVD player.

  • You joking me Right, Really? I mean, sure maybe Rambo isn't a "Classic Classic", but come on, where can you go wrong with a guy shooting like a hundred people in cool and crazy ways (The big freaking gun near the end), also the ending so thrilling and perfect, makes me want to see it all again.

    Oh god help us all.

  • Eughchh!! The very commercial for that film curls my toenails the wrong way!

  • agreed

  • I'd actually add to this film...

    "So it was Carl fighting the Romans in Masada in 73 AD...." ("Van Helsing" reference, and David Wenham was in that movie as Friar Carl and...ah, you get the idea.)

  • Thank god they had that giant, it was getting far too quiet in that fight. We needed more guttural screaming.

  • That, and they hadn't finished pissing on history yet. If the movie would have gone on the Persians would have sent out a dragon.

  • Followed up by the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!

  • i dont get the arguement. "its not historically accurate!!" well of course its not, its a damn action movie with monsters. they obviously were not going for historical accuracy by putting an insane giant monster guy.

  • Well, they use historical names and a historical situation, but the rest has nothing to do with real history.

    If you want to put in a giant monster guy, go the Italian Peplum films and say it's myth. Otherwise, you risk demonizing the historical Greeks and Persians.

  • Well I think what Zodiac is saying is that they put in a giant scarred troll that stands like 10 feet tall.

    They are not going for historical accuracy, just trying to make blood-action.

    So no one should get offended, as they aren't being serious

  • Once again, they should have thought of that before putting real names on people and places. Ever seen the Robot Chicken Parody?

  • did you get offended by forrest gump as well? because i doubt it was historically accurate and they did use historical names and places.

  • Why yes, I DID hate Forrest Gump with a passion. Mind you, it wasn't as racist, but still stupid and annoying.

  • Youre talking about the one with the American Revolution, right? I did see it, they were showing how silly it all was. I don't think they were saying you should be offended. Otherwise you'd find the actual RC parody offensive, since they also used historical names / events for fiction.

  • Yes, but they were making fun of people who thought that 300 was historically accurate, sharing my concern that some people would think that 300 actually showed real history.

  • who, exactly, thinks that in real history a scottish greek and other superhumans fought against a 10 feet tall brazillian persian emperor with giants and monsters and pre ninja ninjas in pre kabuki kabuki masks with pre samurai samurai swords?

    whoever actually thinks this is how it went down is stupid, and it is my firm belief that we should not live our life accommodating for the possible perils the stupid may face.

  • Well, it's like if Mexico made a film about the American invasion, and portrayed president Polk as an ape-man with an army of blood-drinking werewolves, while Santa Anna would have a halo around his head

  • its not quite the same, since frank miller isnt greek, but regardless i think you should lighten up. if forrest gump OFFENDED you by its lack of historic value, then...well, to paraphrase the theme song: tell yourself its just a movie, i should really just relax.

    and i do want to see the blood drinking werewolf americans versus angel mexicans movie RIGHT NOW!

  • well good, so then you shouldnt be offended by 300 either

  • Forrest Gump wasn't racist.

  • im American and i don't have a problem wit that. people are always going to make the side they're on look great and their enemies look like crap. besides, frank miller didn't portray the persians as dark because he was racist. it was for artistic reasons. and helped get the point across that he was on the side of the spartans

  • So dark=evil, eh? Good to know that. I'll just led the billions of non-Caucasians know about that. Hey GUYS!

  • No, darkness has nothing to do with race. There have been many evil people with light skin, and just as many with dark skin. Inversly, good knows no difference between black, white and every color inbetween. Besides, this battle is based on historic truth (With a fantasy twist). It was NATION against NATION, not race against race.

  • Point of interest = dark has always meant evil. Ex: In old westerm movies the bad guys were always in the black hats and the good guys were always in the white. Black is the traditional color of mourning. In melodramas, the villains usually wear black and the heroes wear white. What I'm saying is that, historically, black has been associated with evil. That doesn't mean that people with darker skin are evil, it just means it's a device used to denote evil.

  • i suppose you consider the yin-yang racist too?

  • I suppose you don't consider "Gone With the Wind" racist either?

  • naah its not racist.... dude gone wit the wind is obviously racist. frank millers comic wasn't meant to be racist. like i said dark in artwork usually means evil or demonic. he wasnt trying to make them black. jus demonic and by the way im an African American

  • Actually, historically it IS accurate. Because its portraying the actual events that happened... in a comic book. The whole thing is a stupid arguement, and Im totally with you Zodiac.

  • "Do we have anything le- OH, that's right, we've got a giant, let's see what he can do!"

  • "They deserve a raise"

    "Toenails sharp as razors"

    I love the voices they use for those first two lines XD

  • who took my happy mask?

  • Yeah, stupid internet!

  • lol... These are pre-ninja ninjas with pre-kabuki kabuki masks with pre-samurai samurai swords

  • you may need to get that lump checked out..lol

  • maybe i will maybe i wont

  • This was a great movie to riff. It was totally cheesy. pre-ninja ninjas wearing pre-kabuki kabuki masks hehe

  • This was a good movie. They just make it better.

  • "MOTHER!" GREAT daffy duck joke.

  • best one yet i hurt my side laughing

  • lol, lump.

  • "They may be immortal, but they could use a latter."

    "Or as they're now known, the incredibly, perhaps EXTRA mortals." LOL!!

  • "Eleven and one this season alone"

    "The Russian Volleyball team?"

  • "We got anything le-... Oh that's right, we have a GIANT."

    I am now finally going to have to see this gloriously stupid movie, safely ensconced behind the wall of putrefying corpses that is Rifftrax.

  • I loved this movie, but the riffing on this was phenomenal. Not the best they've done, but it was hilarious.

  • Hey, who took my happy mask. lol

  • "Or, as they're now known, the INCREDIBLY-perhaps-even-EXTRA-­Mortals!"

    Truly brilliant riffing. God, this movie sucks.

  • They may be immortal, but they could use a ladder.

  • 300 was a visual masterpiece, and is in my mind the best film of 2007 so far. However I'd love to hear this riff

  • LMAO! Don't diss Dilios...though I can't stop smiling.

  • Epic.

  • Love it:

    "Uh, what do we have le--OH, WE HAVE A GIANT! All right, let's see what HE can do!!!"

    I just about spit Coke out my nose at that point. 300 DESERVED the Rifftrax treatment. It was the most over-the-top overblown movie of the year. :)

  • This film is for 15 year old boys. But it is an unintentional comedy. Which is probably a good thing. :)

  • I haven't seen 300 yet, but I might just rent the dvd and buy the RiffTrax, because they were having WAAAY to easy a time savaging it. HOLY CRAP.

  • You know, I loved the movie when I first saw it (questionable politics and morality aside), but I couldn't help thinking how easy it would be for Mike Nelson to tear it apart.

  • when Mike Nelson said the giant line i went into one of those laughing fits where you are forced to close your eyes and the tendons in your neck seem so taut that may snap because of the laughter coming out of your torso.

    by the way, 300 was way over-rated. it was good at best. however, don't tell the hardcore fan boys of the film that or you'll regret it.

  • yeah, they'll be leaping out you in slow-mo with bare chest telling you this is SParta at the top of their adolescent lungs

  • Yeah, you know, I saw a nice, Wachowski-like period piece. That's it! It was okay by me, but it didn't make a quarter of the impression on me that it seems to have on others.

  • "We got anything left-oh, that's right, we've got a giant! Let's see what he can do!"

  • If there was ever any big Hollywood flick deserving to be skewered by Mike and Co., it's this one. 300 is exactly the sort of movie that would be a weekly broadcast on "The Fascist Asshole Channel", alongside TRIUMPH OF THE WILL and TOP GUN.

  • Oh goodie; another douchebag who doesn't know what "fascism" is.

  • > Oh goodie; another douchebag who doesn't

    > know what "fascism" is.

    Haha.

    OK, I hereby challenge you to define it, just to see if you actually know what fascism actually is.

  • Yes, it's not like entire books with differing interpretations have been written on the topic. Nah, we can totally give an easy and unequivocal definition in less than 500 characters.

  • Why not? I can.

    Every fascism system has socialized risk and privatized rewards for favored companies, and corporations determine national policy, not individuals.

    The reason Americans are so loathe to define it simply is because it becomes readily apparent America is in fascism now.

  • Apparently not.

    Hate to burst your bubble, but fascism has nothing to do with corporations.

    "a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism."

    Dictatorship. Meaning a central authority that controls everything, including but not limited to.. private corporations. Benefit of the state over all - including its own citizens.

  • > Hate to burst your bubble, but fascism has

    > nothing to do with corporations.

    It has everything to do with corporations.

    What is the economic system in every fascist country? Do you have any idea?

  • State-owned and operated businesses?

  • > State-owned and operated businesses?

    No, corporate owned state.

    When corporations in such a system do well, owners of the corporations pocket the profits.

    When corporations in such a system do poorly, tax payers are forced to keep the corporations from going insolvent.

    What you described is communism.

    What I'm describing is what our government just did with Bear Stearns and is going to do with many banks.

  • So they were pre-ninja with pre-kabuki masks and pre-samurai swords? Lol!

    The movie was dumb fun but history it ain't. The 60s film 300 Spartans was closer to the original event except for the stupid love story.

  • Which is an interesting connection, since it was because of that 60s film that was the inspiration for the graphic novel that became THIS fim.

  • the movie was good . it not stupid just because it wasn't historically accurate doesnt mean its a bad movie.

  • That is one shocking film...

  • I agree with these people.I saw this movie, and left the theatre (ok so I can't spell it, bite me)feeling very dirty. This movie was horrid in every way and it just makes this riff even better. I might have liked it if they didn't over use the freakin slow-mo fight thing. Matrix "started" it and they killed it, this movie was just beating a dead and rotting corpse that was once a horse. Oh, and, PACKERS! WHOO!

  • come on, its not that bad the movie was quite fun if you think about it.

  • I imagine it's might be, but I might have just had a bad experience with it since I was sitting like three rows from the screen and there was a loud drunk behind me so I am going to have to see it again. But I got the basic thing from it. It was funny b/c it was ridiculos, but not worth the hype in anyway.

  • Tonight we dine in HECK...

  • "Have we got anything le- Oh that's right, we have a giant! Yeah, let's see what he can do!"

    "Yikes! He may want to have that lump looked at!"

    I've never actually heard a good explanation for that lump.

  • I loved this movie, and I can't wait to see it fully riffed. RiffTrax doesn't exclusively use bad movies; they just use movies that are easy to riff. Believe it or not, it *is* possible to make fun of something you like.

  • The other reason is that MST3K could only afford the rights to low-budget movies (many of which were already really bad). When RiffTrax came along, Mike could use better known films because they were simply selling a commentary track that is played along a separate DVD. Plus they could avoid legal troubles with the big studios by keeping the movies and RiffTrax separate.

  • I'm a realist, I know there is no hope... but MAN i wish they would do a New MST3K series... Bring it back again... Like Doctor Who... Mike Nelson could regenerate and the robots could be...ah.... his buddy... or something... I dunno I lost my train of thought... MST3K RULES!! But until they bring it back... RIFFTRAX RULES!! WOO!

  • PACKERS!!!!!!!!!! (BTW are there any "Wooo! Packers!" riffs in this one? It seems like they would fit...

  • PACKERS!!!

  • You act like 300 doesn't deserve to be riffed, when it has the most ridiculous antagonists, its over the top acting, and overused slow-motion sequences.

    SPARTANS. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

  • Aye to that. Let's also leave out the disgusting portrayal of the Persians, one of the world's great civilisations. And the fact that there WEREN'T a million Persians invading Greece.

  • and how would you know mister history

  • the movie was great shut up!