wonderful, she found that she doesn't fit into the fem role. those aren't everyone's hang ups. i'm considered a fem and i hardly ever wear heels. i dress down outside of work in jeans and i'm comfortable. it's annoying when people have these revelations that force them to stop doing something and then they proceed to tell everyone else why they're doing it and why they should stop also. those were your hang ups - encourage folks to just be themselves and let it be.
i agree. ive been lucky to come across a lot of what i'd call "progressive" lesbians. i am a femme who loves femmes. i love women that look like women. i love femininity. i used to judge the whole femme/stud thing because i didnt understand it but now i respect that as another type of lesbian relationship... just not really the one for me.
GOOD STUFF!!! I can't possible understand the plight of black lesbians. I'm a queer black male but gender roles manifest themselves in alot in queer relationships. We trying to fit into this hetero-normative box. Gender is an important topic that seems to evade the black queer community, we have to ask ourselves why do these roles come up time and time again.
Also this has to be the most beautiful woman I have ever since in my life.
The feminine/aggressive role thing is extremely prevalent in the BLACK lesbian community more so than the white. Like this woman is saying femmes just go over the top with the role playing meanwhile straight hetero women with husbands and kids are at the supermarket in sneakers. Silly if you think about it. To me the role playing makes it all a game.
Putting on Tims or Pumps no more makes you a femme or a stud than standing in your garage makes you a car!!! Knock it off!!!! We are all womyn loving womyn!!! NOT Mommy and Daddy! I don't care how many boxers you wear you are still a womyn,just like the female rocking Vikki's Secrets!!!!! The power lies in the love and the person not the wardrobe.
When are we going to press past the clothes and role playing. Love is love. The white girls got it,but the sistas and our Latin sistas are still "role playing"!!!WTF! Pumps or Tims shouldn't define you. Who you are as a person should. When I turn out the lights when I'm with my girl it's about making love not being dominated or being made to feel that if I want to make love to her it's a bad thing! Thank god for liberation. It's time to open up and be free.
Others always put titles on us. But, just being who you are...is enough. We already get pressured from the outside haters. But, it's very sad to feel & see yourself having to get dress for YOU...and at the same time...feel like dressing a certain way, is for somebody else who doesn't even acknowledge your existence as a lesbian or stud. Much Love.
trippy that this still exists in the lesbian scene after all these years. The 21st century doesn't seem to have shone a light on people's preconceptions of anything!
I definitely can relate to what she is saying. As a matter of fact , a friend of a friend kept asking her what am I. I told her "I'm me" I dress up if I feel like it and I dress down if I so choose. Came to find out later that she was trying to figure out what type of woman I'm into. I can not possibly put myself in one category. I like to wear boots as well as high heel boots. People make this gay thing too confusing.
I hate labels! And she is right, I have a hard time trying to date any female these days without being asked the question if I'm a stud, fem, or what have you. And I realize, that this label stuff is very embedded in the black and latina lesbian communities. I rarely ever come across too many butch white women or fem white women making a big deal about gender roles when trying to date or finding their soul mate in a lesbian relationship.
That is because of Polythestic behavior patterns. Which clicks are generaly formed from. I now that this behavior started sometime in the sixty according to my research. That was and era where to be know that you like women you had to make a distiction to know that you where that
way. All so this is due to ignorance also which that behavior still exsist because of how it was set up! so now someone has to change it.
My attraction doesn't fall into just 1 category either. So I can definitely agree with this statement made in this video. She is saying everything that I think of. I really don't care (9 out of 10 times) what category u r in, as long as you don't live through your sexuality. That means that you limit your yourself because it wouldn't match your sexuality's uniform of being a stud or fem. I love how these videos are speaking with intelligent ppl. I really like these videos, keep them coming.
i could not have said it better. there is still this stratified butch/femme dynamic within the black lesbian community and that's cool if that's you. what's a girl to do if she's both or neither or anything else in between? it can be very frustrating.
I feel exactly where she is coming from. I consider myself to be Fem, But i'm not the typical "Fem". I wear Tims and Kinda boyish clothes at times. I wear heels, but it's not something that I stress... And my girlfriend doesn't even really put herself in any certain role at all. What it is truly about it loving one self and loving the person that you want to.
think that when u like someone or u wanna have sex or any kind of relationship with someone, you are w a person woman or man... its a person u get into, than u get to know the boy or girl...
Good points. Lesbian relationships too often mimic hetero relationships with the gender roles. You can be in a same-sex relationship and it still not be same gender. The problem is a lack of Lesbian role models or visible Lesbian relationships. We start doing what we see, we just incoporate the roles of a hetero relationship in our same sex relationship.
Saying that a LGBTST relationship must have a "butch" and "fem" person is like saying that a straight couple must have the man as the sole money-maker and provider. Today's economy does not allow that and women want to work and be more than just "the hearth-tender". Some of us do suscribe to the "Butch and Fem" school of thought, but not everyone. It would be nice if a straight person would RESPECTFULLY ask any questions before assuming.
this is too true. people need to understand that just because you are in a homosexual relationship doesnt mean that one person has to be feminine and the other masculine. thats silly. its adhering to heterosexual norms.
wonderful, she found that she doesn't fit into the fem role. those aren't everyone's hang ups. i'm considered a fem and i hardly ever wear heels. i dress down outside of work in jeans and i'm comfortable. it's annoying when people have these revelations that force them to stop doing something and then they proceed to tell everyone else why they're doing it and why they should stop also. those were your hang ups - encourage folks to just be themselves and let it be.
tacr5 4 months ago
i agree. ive been lucky to come across a lot of what i'd call "progressive" lesbians. i am a femme who loves femmes. i love women that look like women. i love femininity. i used to judge the whole femme/stud thing because i didnt understand it but now i respect that as another type of lesbian relationship... just not really the one for me.
loversarelunatics 1 year ago
GOOD STUFF!!! I can't possible understand the plight of black lesbians. I'm a queer black male but gender roles manifest themselves in alot in queer relationships. We trying to fit into this hetero-normative box. Gender is an important topic that seems to evade the black queer community, we have to ask ourselves why do these roles come up time and time again.
Also this has to be the most beautiful woman I have ever since in my life.
coolest07noevac 1 year ago 4
Hey check out our web series that deals with gener roles!
TheGayeFamily 1 year ago
i had to watch it twice.i didnt hear anythng she said the first time..lol..her hair pulled me in.itz so gorgoeus
jasdrumma 1 year ago
The feminine/aggressive role thing is extremely prevalent in the BLACK lesbian community more so than the white. Like this woman is saying femmes just go over the top with the role playing meanwhile straight hetero women with husbands and kids are at the supermarket in sneakers. Silly if you think about it. To me the role playing makes it all a game.
lword1970 1 year ago 3
Putting on Tims or Pumps no more makes you a femme or a stud than standing in your garage makes you a car!!! Knock it off!!!! We are all womyn loving womyn!!! NOT Mommy and Daddy! I don't care how many boxers you wear you are still a womyn,just like the female rocking Vikki's Secrets!!!!! The power lies in the love and the person not the wardrobe.
1986purplegirl 1 year ago 8
When are we going to press past the clothes and role playing. Love is love. The white girls got it,but the sistas and our Latin sistas are still "role playing"!!!WTF! Pumps or Tims shouldn't define you. Who you are as a person should. When I turn out the lights when I'm with my girl it's about making love not being dominated or being made to feel that if I want to make love to her it's a bad thing! Thank god for liberation. It's time to open up and be free.
1986purplegirl 1 year ago 7
Others always put titles on us. But, just being who you are...is enough. We already get pressured from the outside haters. But, it's very sad to feel & see yourself having to get dress for YOU...and at the same time...feel like dressing a certain way, is for somebody else who doesn't even acknowledge your existence as a lesbian or stud. Much Love.
loveface43 1 year ago
trippy that this still exists in the lesbian scene after all these years. The 21st century doesn't seem to have shone a light on people's preconceptions of anything!
dancewomyn1 2 years ago
I definitely can relate to what she is saying. As a matter of fact , a friend of a friend kept asking her what am I. I told her "I'm me" I dress up if I feel like it and I dress down if I so choose. Came to find out later that she was trying to figure out what type of woman I'm into. I can not possibly put myself in one category. I like to wear boots as well as high heel boots. People make this gay thing too confusing.
flossit1 2 years ago
The most beautiful hair.
CanadianButterfly 2 years ago 5
I hate labels! And she is right, I have a hard time trying to date any female these days without being asked the question if I'm a stud, fem, or what have you. And I realize, that this label stuff is very embedded in the black and latina lesbian communities. I rarely ever come across too many butch white women or fem white women making a big deal about gender roles when trying to date or finding their soul mate in a lesbian relationship.
cuzitsnecessary 2 years ago 4
can't stand role play.
flossit1 2 years ago
ur so right....and it drives me fuckin' crazy that black lesbian culture has such sharp gender binaries in terms of looks.
Ashtuck 2 years ago
Go tell that to a hermaphrodite.
Merdenoms 2 years ago
black people have very nice skin O_o
Crapidiot 2 years ago 23
what?
bashe82 2 years ago
you are gorgeous, i totally agree, but at the same time..society, our country..the world is based on labels..it has become an addiction
seeizer 2 years ago 2
Yes, indeed.
BeingAsIAm 3 years ago
Hi
That is because of Polythestic behavior patterns. Which clicks are generaly formed from. I now that this behavior started sometime in the sixty according to my research. That was and era where to be know that you like women you had to make a distiction to know that you where that
way. All so this is due to ignorance also which that behavior still exsist because of how it was set up! so now someone has to change it.
originator35 3 years ago
she is beautiful... like im just lost in her beauty right now.. and shes smart... wat a hell of a combo
RockstarSnj 3 years ago 3
I love listening to these women talk..
curlychronicles 3 years ago
She's fine! I love the funkiness of her fro. Makes me miss my own.
hotcocoa101 3 years ago 4
mmmmhmmmm!
curlychronicles 3 years ago
yeah she is cute;)
9961269 3 years ago 2
My attraction doesn't fall into just 1 category either. So I can definitely agree with this statement made in this video. She is saying everything that I think of. I really don't care (9 out of 10 times) what category u r in, as long as you don't live through your sexuality. That means that you limit your yourself because it wouldn't match your sexuality's uniform of being a stud or fem. I love how these videos are speaking with intelligent ppl. I really like these videos, keep them coming.
Fffyou 3 years ago 3
Comment removed
chanticorae 3 years ago
i could not have said it better. there is still this stratified butch/femme dynamic within the black lesbian community and that's cool if that's you. what's a girl to do if she's both or neither or anything else in between? it can be very frustrating.
chanticorae 3 years ago 2
I feel exactly where she is coming from. I consider myself to be Fem, But i'm not the typical "Fem". I wear Tims and Kinda boyish clothes at times. I wear heels, but it's not something that I stress... And my girlfriend doesn't even really put herself in any certain role at all. What it is truly about it loving one self and loving the person that you want to.
ZkrazyCocopuff 4 years ago 3
think that when u like someone or u wanna have sex or any kind of relationship with someone, you are w a person woman or man... its a person u get into, than u get to know the boy or girl...
ikadogo 4 years ago
wow... i'm late just stumbling on this. She said so much of what I was thinking. This is so great to hear and see. Thanks!
blkdrummergrl 4 years ago
Good points. Lesbian relationships too often mimic hetero relationships with the gender roles. You can be in a same-sex relationship and it still not be same gender. The problem is a lack of Lesbian role models or visible Lesbian relationships. We start doing what we see, we just incoporate the roles of a hetero relationship in our same sex relationship.
Politicx1984 4 years ago 3
whatev, she could still be fem an wear Tims.
awake303 4 years ago
She's cute.
denise804 4 years ago 17
Saying that a LGBTST relationship must have a "butch" and "fem" person is like saying that a straight couple must have the man as the sole money-maker and provider. Today's economy does not allow that and women want to work and be more than just "the hearth-tender". Some of us do suscribe to the "Butch and Fem" school of thought, but not everyone. It would be nice if a straight person would RESPECTFULLY ask any questions before assuming.
BAASSIK 4 years ago
I honestly couldn't have worded it better!
luvinladies 4 years ago 2
this is too true. people need to understand that just because you are in a homosexual relationship doesnt mean that one person has to be feminine and the other masculine. thats silly. its adhering to heterosexual norms.
zaloveza 4 years ago 4
i used homosexuals cause the sister used it. although i know i should use same-gender loving or something better like that.
okay Jones!
zaloveza 4 years ago
I agree 100%! I mean, why break out of one box (heterosexism) to jump into another?
spiritinflesh 4 years ago 5