Assignment: Venezuela 1/3

[ChaoticYak]

Over a WIDE body of water and it was a WIDE ROAD!

[ChaoticYak]

Here's Aaronzio Spelling's house!

[rax015]

Maracaibo is SO BEAUTIFUL!

[Stereolabdream]

Caracas....murder capital of the world...

[ELLUISINTELLEGENT]

@Stereolabdream I live there =( it's horrible D':

[pretorious700]

@Stereolabdream Worse than Bogota?

[ChaoticYak]

They're all done with Venezuela! They don't need me to do it!

[snootylittlecutie]

the pattern nicely doubles as a pentacle to satan.

[Rubycon99]

"I'll have another coke!"

[purpleshamrock17]

"that is one big ass Stair Master!"

"I sweat right through my trousers" i just love how he said that!

3:58 how old is that woman? She looks WAY too old to have young kids

"I felt like a complete ass for mistaking it as narrow" omg that made me laugh SO hard!

[davincent98]

"Hello, have you heard of the Book of Mormon?" FTW

[prettysplash5bell]

"i dropped my pants and bent over a car just to feel at home!"

[fyiab]

I thought of you honey when I saw the big barge. XD

[EternalGuardian07]

"The best part of the ride was the..."

Mike: ...was being sucked into a time portal.

[montyburns9999]

@EternalGuardian07 That was my favorite line so far. It reminds me of some of the rough cut scenes from "Girl in Gold Boots" if you've seen that one.

[EternalGuardian07]

@montyburns9999 No, I haven't. Where can I find it?

[montyburns9999]

@EternalGuardian07 It's on YouTube. It really is a great Mike-era MST3K. There is one scene where there are 2 people talking in a booth and all of the sudden the third guy just appears from nowhere...and Servo goes, "I'm back!!" Then after a few seconds Crow goes, "Come on I just teleported here! It's impressive!!"

[Trancemaster2052]

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER COKE!

As I'm drinking one myself and nearly spit it all over my screen when I heard that line haha.

[prettysplash5bell]

@Trancemaster2052 thats proably why my parents wont let me drink near the computor lol

[Trancemaster2052]

@prettysplash5bell Hahaha yeah I've done it on more than one occasion watching MST3K.

[ChaoticYak]

Mr. Big Lake!

[nastyGriffin]

what movie is this on?

[ChaoticYak]

@nastyGriffin No movie. This is the so-called "lost" short that they showed for the first time at a convention. I wasn't ever part of an episode.

[Dulcimerist]

My hovercraft is full of eels!

[Gjeorje]

@Dulcimerist -Yeah, I thought the same thing. "Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait till lunchtime."

[DaGoulian]

An American Oil Company in Venezuela, the new John Landis thriller!

[theinfinitew]

I'll have another Coke!

[sdgsdgsdgsd3]

whos the robots?

[hittitte]

Am I the only who can see this was actually filmed in Miami?

[sdgsdgsdgsd3]

@hittitte no its filmed in venezyla

[gatherusin]

@hittitte Get some glasses retard

[Enumclaw]

"Never get out of the boat... absolutely God damn right."

Apocalypse Now ref. XD

[gogoothello]

I didn't see that congo knife coming at me.

Never get out of the boat... absolutely god-damn right...

I'd been shanghai'ed by some bad ass drug cartel,

I realized I was sitting on a kilo of coke.

They asked me to give up the pinky of my right hand.

[ChaoticYak]

I made no assumptions about the width or narrowness of the road.

[carolineskomix]

"I began to wonder where Ray was taking me..."

"Made NO assumptions about the narrowness or width of the road."

[tylerboy808]

Creole Lady Marmalade

[coscientology]

The beginnings of Universal Petroleum.

[ptjlmbaldwin]

It's amazing to watch this thinking 1) Chavez is in charge and has pretty much driven Venezuela into the ground; 2) Lake Maricaibo has sunk due to all the oil being taken out and 3) Jim and Ann are likely dead by now...

[LeshaAnn]

@ptjlmbaldwin - Well, that's what the American propaganda-machine TELLS us, anyway; Who knows?!

[ChaoticYak]

"The first thing that surprised me on that ride was that..."

Was being sucked through a time portal.

[globbo100]

The actress Maria Conchita Alonso (who was born in Cuba but raised in Caracas, Venezuela) finally slams Sean Penn for his remarks concerning Hugo Chavez.Go Maria,go!

[BigMcLargeHuge100]

Hilarious and awesome, I also thought I'd seen everything MST3K did! But 8:51 totally took me by surprise. :(

[PueblodeVenezuela]

Gringos GO HOME!!!!! Venezuela es libre y soberana, no seremos mas nunca colonia y patio trasero de los putos estadounidenses. VIVA CHAVEZ!!!!

[beerbeastredux]

Chavez is your DICTATOR. You are slaves...to a DICTATOR. A dictator who is provatizing everything and CLAIMING to be a man of the people.

BULL...Sh*t. And by the way you won't be thrown in Jail in America for insulting a leader. Try badmouthing Chavez and see how long before you're rotting in some lousy Venezuelan jail.

[fyiab]

@PueblodeVenezuela Tranquilo hombre. MST3k es una comedia estaunidense. No hace comentarios politicos. Que preste atencion al contexto. Solo se burla de peliculas terribles. -un puto estaunidense

[fargocheef]

@lonelysith66 - I'm jealous! I remember being 15 and wanting to go to the convo so bad but not being quite old enough to make the trip to the cities...It's like the "I missed woodstock because I was too young" for my generation! :-D

[lonelysith66]

@fargocheef Aww, you should've gone. My dad and I went and it was the best time!

:D

[LightDeoxys]

God, Jim and his wife are one of the ugliest couples I've ever seen...

[LightDeoxys]

Jim: The first thing that surprised me on that ride was th-

*film skips*

Mike: Was being sucked through a time portal.

[lonelysith66]

I remember seeing this at the 1996 MST3K Convention in Minnesota!

Good Times!

<3 :D <3

[lysis28]

I LOVE their kid voices. Makes me laugh every time.

[jrmarrero96]

"Never get off the boat, absolutely goddamned right!!"

(Apocalypse now reference: )

[SeoulMan]

"In fact I was kneed in the groin and thrown in jail!"

"Where he cheats on us with a brown skinned beauty!"

[pretorious700]

where did this come from? I thought I had seen everything MSTK ever did

[RobFear]

this was for a CD-ROM that was never completed around 1995-96. It was shown at the second convention.

[Ecronyte]

You can also find it as a bonus short on box set 7

[shuboy05]

The MST3K CD-ROM (game?) is another big "What If" in MST3K history. Personally I think it would have been brilliant if they ever released it. Unfortunately Trace (he was the only nerd left of the Brains after Frank left) was in charge of the project around the time he chose to leave so it was never finished.

[Rammstein45]

I begun to wonder where Ray was taking me!

[gossman666]

I'll have another coke! LMFAO!

[cubtat2]

And wtf is going on at 6:47? Did Trace mis-time a riff?

[dantesque17]

He didn't mis-time a riff. He was continuing the theme of the narrator making assumptions about the narrowness of things, then immediately regretting it. Refer to 5:05, then subsequent riffs expanding on this joke.

[gatherusin]

No you fool, he was continuing the theme of the guy misjudging the narrow lake.

[cubtat2]

In fact, I was kneed in the groin and thrown in jail

The first thing that surprised me on that ride was...

...was being sucked right through a time portal

I felt like a complete ass for mistaking it as narrow

[TheGoodMan19]

The best short!!

[guilmon182]

I dropped my pants and bent over a car, just to feel at home!

[Raven9940]

07:17 Gay night at TGI Friday's

[typomanbros]

Autos Usadooooooos

[iamhewhoisiam]

can't believe they missed a great riff!

"where is daddy, mommy?"

"I don't know hunny, but Jim is in venezuela"...

[pointless104]

Ha! you're right!

[MattChrisF]

"I'll have another Coke!"

[Jcolinsol]

"Making nuclear silos bomb the world with hydro, Chinese dragon sized bloods in Maracaibo."

[acsowards]

Have you heard of "The Book of Mormon?"

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Our Man In Venezuela: Pee Wee Herman!

[SeanP7195]

I love how Mike's deadpanness can make even the obvious ones funny. "Like being sucked threw a time portal".

[Bristol92]

omg lol when the guy first got off the plane standing on the platform i thought he dressed just like Pee-wee hermenvthabc 2 secs later tom made that pee-wee joke! lol

[animegrrl5k]

Oooh, it's the Karma Sutra!

[godboy50]

They thought I was Meyer Lansky

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

I want Venezuela on my desk by Monday morning!

[Mrjon314]

...And I'm not lusting after the young, tawny...Venezuelans...

[Dystopiaman]

Young Venezuelan here!

[bsartist]

I hear you guys have some narrow lakes down there.

[Dystopiaman]

LOL...

[jah2187]

I laughed out loud when he said "por favor" pronouncing the "a" in exactly the wrong manner - he claims he studied the correct pronunciation, so either he's lying or retarded . . . wait, that's unfair to retarded people, who'd probably do better than this dope.

[Funkychipmunk]

Cut him some slack, he's an engineer with an oil company before the white male ones had any competition from non-whites and/or women.... They didn't need to be that smart back then.

[Funkychipmunk]

Sorry about offending the white male engineers here, I didn't realize people were so touchy.

[Funkychipmunk]

Don't hide behind facts or patronizing, you're offended, and it's cute. Else you wouldn't have called out only female engineers. I also didn't realize that it was oil company engineers responsible for all of those projects. Thanks for clearing up that fact.

[Moonseid]

"Hey, it's lake man, everybody!! Sure you can WEDGE into our NARROW office, Mr. BIG LAKE?!" >:(

[dfirest1]

Mean Gene Okerlund worked on my site

[theinfinitew]

Interesting yet useless fact: Lagunillas is actually now below sea level since the area around Lake Maracibo has sank due to taking all the oil out from under it.

And now you know! (And knowing's half the battle!)

[SethTurtle]

G, I, Joooooooe... *doo-dee-doo, doo, dooooo*

[SeanP7195]

Gooooo JOE!

[9xtirol]

@theinfinitew GI JOEEEEEEEEE

[electrogeek77]

@theinfinitew YO JOE!

[dfirest1]

"I almost felt like I hadn't left home when we passed a big Sears Roebuck Department store"

Tom "Yeah and it's called "Cran Venta" here too!"

[ptjlmbaldwin]

"...Autos Usados..." LOL

[dfirest1]

"Hey It's Mr. Big Lake"

"Hey everybody! It's Lake Man! Sure you wedge into our Narrow Office, Mr. Big Lake?"

[knab69]

"The next day I was taken out to the lake and shown the field procedures - and shot in the head."

LMFAO

[knab69]

"Dear Ann, well here I am at La Goneas, in the oil fields - try to find me." :)

[knab69]

"Hi, have you heard of the Book of Mormon?"

Bra-ha-ha!

[FranklyMisterShankly]

"He gave me a regular guided tour of Maracaibo.... know what I mean!?" Hahahaha!

[dfirest1]

"I stayed up until 9 having Cokes! I'm Sorry!!!"

[dfirest1]

"I'll have another Coke!"

[ashland1977]

"Then shot in the head" lmao

[ashland1977]

The posts on here may be even funnier than mstk 3000. wow.

[SethTurtle]

Jim's wife is one butt-ugly woman.

[ShinyRayquaza2]

Jim: The first thing that surprised me on that ride was the- *scene skips*

Mike: Was being sucked through a time warp.

[shagohodshalashaska]

mean gene okerland worked on my site

LOL

[harveyschmidlap]

You wouldn't know that honey cause you're not an engineer... classic!

[d0g69s]

"i'll have another Coke!"

[ziggytim]

never get out of the boat.....

that's absolutely god damn right!

[StanMyMan66]

Ironic that in the 1950's we helped to develop Venezuela's oil industry and now a mad dictator is using it against us. Venezuela stole the oil refineries that we built and nationalized them.

[textthing]

No, US-taxpayer-funded corporations stole the oil while the US-friendly regime kept the people down with bullets. Then the people claimed back what was rightfully theirs. Amazing how you shills call murderous dictators installed by the US 'democrats', and leaders who have the distinction of actually being elected 'dictators', when they dare to oppose US neo-fascism.

[escualidas]

actually, StanMyMan66 is right. obviously you have no idea what is going on in Venezuela, and even less of an idea of what went on between foreign oil companies and the Venezuelan government. The US never stole Venezuelan oil, they made business deals that benefited both sides. I would give anything to go back to how things were 10 years ago, Chavez not only broke agreements with foreign companies, but now NO ONE wants to invest in Venezuela... and YES, he IS a dictator. Do your research.

[textthing]

"Business deals that benefited both sides"? What a laugh. Benefited the pro-US elite, is what you mean. And that's fine by you. How typical. Chavez broke the agreements because that's the right of a sovereign government. And Venezuela's economy is growing very strongly, from what I've heard. But then I'm not reading White House press releases. BTW, what is your definition of a dictator? Someone who doesn't do what Bush says?

[escualidas]

you obviously have no idea what is going on in Venezuela, why don't you come down here for a week or so and actually experience this "growing" economy you are talking about. I'm living the experience, and I can tell you that the only ones who are better off are people who work directly for the government and can get away with corrupt deals. so shut up, you know nothing.

[escualidas]

oh and BTW, my definition of a dictator is someone who changes the constitution so that all of the other institutions are under his total control, and someone who insists he is going to stay in power "one way or another" until he dies. I am so sick of foreigners like you who insist they know everything when really, they are uninformed spectators. I'm not wasting anymore time on you, goodbye.

[textthing]

My definition of a dictator is someone who seizes power by force without a popular mandate, and maintains it by force. Chavez did not 'change the constitution' because that requires a popular mandate. And he would still need a popular mandate to stay in power. Get the picture? And your characterisation is in line with most of the bullshit propaganda that has been pouring out of you Bush lovers.

[JDogindy]

Well, I understand all about the issues with oil exporting between Venezuela and the US and how the overall tension has increased in the past decade or so since Hugo Chavez was elected.

However, this is really a video that has a guy and his robot partners making fun of a really bad presentation video, so I'm just suggesting that Political Roundtable would be moved elsewhere. I'm just saying, okay.

Anyway, I love this "short" (It's about 20 minutes, longer than a regular short)

[textthing]

I agree. Political Roundtable closed.

[castlebound2000]

Indeed... However, he could had a better choice by "mocking" a video from the Atomic Energy Commission, or the Roswell crash, The hoaxed moon landings or any of the Hoover hearings... I wonder why this particular one was chosen. I think it's no naive coincidence

[mariechaton]

yeah. Just repeat to yourself 'its just a show' and you should really just relax.

[luisi25]

Come on man... back off! I'm from Venezuela and have my reasons to think US are wrong, you're probably from the States and have your reasons to be pissed off.... but we should be more focused on working together on how to come out from this crisis and less complaining about decisions made by politicians in the past... I'm just saying.

[lonelysith66]

@luisi25 You're from Venezuela? Cool!

<3 :D

[ElveeKaye]

"Por fah-vor seenyor!"

"I speak English, dumbass. Damn, your Spanish sucks."

I love that red and white car. Anyone know what model that is?

"I started meeting people the moment I arrived." They developed an instant hatred for me.

"Here's our new house, honey." Needs a roof and some walls, but we did ask for a fixer-upper.

[FranklyMisterShankly]

"Por fey-vor senor.... fondle my butt"

[jtlee891]

By himself, Jim would seem to be a typical boring 50's narrator. But the magic of MST3K transforms him into a gawky, wimpy, adulterous, narrow-minded, coke drinking bisexual.

[YabaBaga]

Did you say NARROW-minded?!

[atlantaaintbraver]

I think he meant "narrow-rivered".

[madmanduck]

Hey everyone...IT'S MR. BIG-LAKE!!!!

[digitalshark]

It's a sad thing to think this is really the last "lost" example of MST3K at it's peak. This was one of the only series I can think of that really should never have come to an end. I never tire of this show, period.

[krowanders]

Damn right. Ten seasons and still one of the best broadcasts that ever got on TV.

[jfsgisfbgifdsiogb]

I want Venezuela on my desk by tomorrow morning!

That is one big a** stair master!

[Rahnzakh]

Cause it's called Cran Venta at home too!

[Rahnzakh]

They're all done with Venezuela they don't need me to do it!

[digitalshark]

God I love this. For me, this is MST3K at it's sharpest and funniest, though I love the goofier and more parent-kid type relationship that Joel had with the bots in the early season. Uncle Floyd meets Silent Running.

[jtlee891]

I want Venezuela on my desk by Friday morning!

[Rahnzakh]

I'm lying I stayed up til 9 drinking Cokes please forgive me!!!

[tracker68]

FLINSTONE!

[crouchj74]

I dropped my pants and bent over a car just to feel at home

[fuckvenezuelanmarico]

maricones venezolanos

[crouchj74]

Was being sucked through a time portal

[Pawn2007]

The pattern nicely doubles as a pentacle to satan.

[tekibran]

you gringos! lover of explotaition,looking for our black gold.... and what's the big f...ing deal with chavecito, another crazy man like bush. lol

[FWCommercials]

"Mean Gene Okerlund was on my site..."

[rodrax]

"I felt like a complete ass for mistaking it as narrow."

"I made no assumptions as to the width of the road!"

[asUtoob]

El Presidente Chavez will never take the U.S.A. seriously

if we keep exporting narrow river loving chumps like Jim to Venezuela.

"I'll have a Coke!"

[sixfeetjenna]

"I was dragged behind the boat over beds of coral!"

[vargaboy]

I wonder if Hugo Chavez has seen this.

[corechil]

Sound master, screaming mad at sounds!

[tinkernator]

zomg! this short is even better than Progress Island!

[mariechaton]

awesome! i've never seen this one before! thanx for posting!

[jenyouflecked]

This is hilarious!

"The first thing that surprised me on that ride was the--"

Was being sucked thru a time portal!

[Aksen]

oh wow, i've never even heard of this. I thought i had it all!

[Pocketmobsters]

Awesome! Never got around to getting this! Thanks!