Dead-Baby Jokes... Hilarious!!!

[ARandomSchoolBand]

how do you stop a baby from choking?

take your dick out its mouth

[MCrRocksish]

lol, i love sick humor

[TheVampireAzriel]

What sound does a baby make when you put it in the blender?

I dunno, I was too busy masturbating.

[lettuceo0]

What did the blind, deaf baby with no arms and legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

[conablis1645]

Whats the difference between a baby and a fridge?

A fridge doesn't scream when you pack meat into it.

[ehsteve7]

@SwiftAssasin99 I bet you intentionally came here to bitch and moan, dickhead.

[Sparklez303]

All of you people who like this are going to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let somebody do all of these things to you to see how it really feels!!!!!!!!!! Bet you won't get a like and stop being lame asses and petifiles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dtsumo]

@Sparklez303 Gotta love you politically correct yuppies, you guys are the best thing about these jokes.

[SwiftAssasin99]

K really ? Sick humor, its not even funny...

[2kickflip360]

how long does it take to paint a wall red?

depends how hard you throw the baby.

[propelover]

Uhhh omg :o

[fridayizzy40234]

U R SICK WAT THE IS WRONG WIT U

[2kickflip360]

@fridayizzy40234 everything

[fridayizzy40234]

@2kickflip360 wow i don't even remember wat i said soooooooooooooo :) :0

[ToniArmstrong1]

U are one twisted son of a bitch and anyone else who finds this funny I hope u all rot in fucking hell u sick bastards it's fucking disgusting!!!!!!!

[2kickflip360]

@ToniArmstrong1 dude idk wats wrong with u i mean i i eat babies 24/7 & luv painting my walls red with babies

[caticia1]

u really don't like babies.

[Dannyar1992]

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwhich? I don't fuck the sandwhich before i eat it.

[stupidandhated8]

How long does it take to kill a baby in the microwave?

How the fuck should I know? I was too busy masturbating.

[roypayton96]

YOU ARE ALL SICK BASURDS ALL OF YOU THIS SHIT ISN'T FUNNY!!!

[2kickflip360]

@roypayton96 yeh its hilarious

[hetimperley]

I give this a 6 since only 60% of the jokes were funny.

[mongodongo148]

Whats the difference between marmalade and jam? I cant marmalade my cock into a dead baby.

[coolslim304]

What's the worst part about killing a baby? You get blood on ur clown costume!!

[Floogleywallaploop]

hey what song is this!!?!?!?!?

[ulquiorraschiffer312]

what's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex

[khstudios100]

Q: whats the difference between a turkey sandwitch and a dead baby

A: I dont have sex with the turkey sandwitch before i eat it

[TheSqueebis]

Q: How to you stop a baby from choking?

A: You take your dick out of its mouth.

[Sephiroth766]

How do you stop a dead baby from going around in circles. Staple the other hand to the floor.

[morrisrussellwillis]

i think

why do you put babies into blenders feet first?

so you can come on their faces

is much funnier than the version on here

[bellwj01]

Whats worse than eating a dead baby?

Going hungry.

[TheSataniclion]

0:24 i always thought the dead baby float one was like this.... how do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops ice cream and 1 scoop deaddd babbyy

[KingsleyGirl322]

@sexichick2231 they why did you visit this page again??

[bcambaseball33]

@Luns1111 damn right we are!!!

[Luns1111]

hahahahaahaa were all going to hell for visiting this

[dicdickdic393]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss­sssssssssssssss



[dinospd0]

What's the difference between a baby and a glow-stick? One I snap in half and dance around with in a darkened room, and the other is a glow-stick.

[biohazardous99]

What colour is a dead baby in a microwave? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

[MrFudgecake98]

These fuking rule i am so going to hell

[udeadnowkthxbai]

Noone cares if u dont like dead baby jokes, just dont read them... Obviously

[RofusDofus1232]

Why did the baby drops its ice cream? It got hit by a truck.

[sacredskull6]

Than*

[sacredskull6]

What's worse that nailing 10 baby's to one tree?......nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

[ankeny123456789]

cough cough GAY WAD

[penneyinmypocket]

whats wores then ten dead babies in a trash can? one dead babie in ten trash cans

[sexichick2231]

You should all be ashamed its not funny wen a baby dies my baby bro died u r all sickos

[1933rk]

@sexichick2231 He deserved it

[khalikea]

3 tomatoes were walking down the street. A mommy tomato, a daddy tomato and a baby tomato. The baby tomato couldn't keep up. The mean daddy tomato turned around and yelled , "ketchup!", then stomped on the baby.

[godlvr]

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? You dont fuck a sandwich before you eat it.

[ZADER4427]

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them

Oh yeah and 3dg is epic

[KENZIECOMMETSTOMARSx]

Your a fuckin nazi

[MissNovember16]

I don't like dead baby jokes, it reminds me of the horrible time my husband and I lost our first baby by miscarriage.

[xxxGreaseMonkeyxxx]

@MissNovember16

i like pickels.

[blackkittys668]

why did the baby cross the road?

it was nailed to a skate board.

[TheCrazyBanana101]

how do u make a baby run faster? a lawn mower. What do u do if it doesnt? get nacho sauce

[bipolar343]

What"s the difference between a dead baby and my trampoline, I take my boots off when I jump on my trampoline.

[NameUnknownTV]

Wuts worse than a bunch of dead babies in a pickup truck

A bunch of dead babies in a pick up truck with one alive at the bottom eating its way out

[TheToxicApplePie]

What do you get if you put a dead baby in a Microwave?

A Boner.

[TheMoranchula]

Whats worse than 3 babies nailed to a tree?

3 babies nailed to a dog.

[NickAden13]

What's blue, covered in puss and sqeuals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

[splashers4evar]

@mosspaw1229 no lying, that was the funniest joke ive ever heard! I love you!

[splashers4evar]

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable.... The wheelchair

[yowasupdud]

what better 6 dead baby nailed to a tree or 1 baby nailed to six trees?

how do you get a dead baby out of a blender? nachos

[SpilkyWay]

what's funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby next to a down-syndrome toddler

[yowasupdud]

@SpilkyWay they're just jokes...

[SpilkyWay]

@yowasupdud mine was a joke too. obviously not a good one lol

[yowasupdud]

@SpilkyWay sorry, i meant to say that to MegaBob1234567891011 for saying that we are all fucked up

[MegaBob1234567891011]

You all are FUCKED UP!

[Bel40z]

Whats the dif. Between a ferrari amd a dead baby? I dont have a ferrari in my garage. LMAO!

[Twitchehh]

what's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick while doing it.

[livetolivenstuff]

pretty fucking hilarious

[ps3codman]

how do you stop a dead babie from crawling in circles? nail its hands and feet to the floor, Whats funnier than a trash can full of dead babies? the one at the bottoms alive.

[RaPtUre727272]

Omg....lol

[fortunecookie817]

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was attached to my trailer hitch!

[effinawesome16]

I LOVE ALL KNOWING ALL YOU FUCKED UP PEOPLE ARE IN THE WORLD WERE ITS NOT ILLEGAL TO OWN KNIVES AND AK 47s :) :) :) :)

[ostateballer1]

How do you stop a baby from choking?

Take your dick out of its mouth!

[aflyingninja1234]

whats grosser than gross

a garbage can full of dead babies

whats grosser than that

the baby at the bottom is still alive

whats grosser than that

he has to eat his way out

whats still even grosser than that

he came back for seconds

[xNeroEQuIInOx]

@aflyingninja1234 whats more awkward than throwing 100 babies off a cliff?

Being the guy at the bottom, catching them with a pitchfork.

[snopay11]

whats the worst thing about raping a dead baby? wiping the blood stains off your clown costume

[patriotsfan12az]

What's worse then throwing dead babies off a cliff?

The guy at the bottom catching them with a pitchfork

[firebreather556]

whats difference between whore and bowling ball, you can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball(:

[MrMudfreak2]

What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?

1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees:)

[ajaykeer23939]

NICE FAGGY JOKES... but why not kill a baby and put it on someone's doorstep and ding dong ditch LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[blackkittys668]

Why did the deadd baby...shit im horrible at jokes :(

[UltimateBeastyness]

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends how hard u throw them ;)

[iLOVEmakeup492]

whats the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby?

i dont fuck a sandwich before i eat it.

[TheCriticbro]

@iLOVEmakeup492 Best one Ive heard in a long time! XD Its effin sick, but hilarious...

[nge1301]

420 dislikes. just how it should be.

[That667Guy]

What's the best kind of baby? A dead one, cooked medium rare

[OriYa101]

ok i stopped in the middle

[bryan2217]

how do you get a dead baby over the fence ... tie it to a mexican

[itdrewledonu]

whats worse than 1 dead baby, 0 dead babies

whats worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree, 20 trees nailed to a baby

[mosspaw1229]

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

cause he got hit by a bus

[mrsims2]

Damn all these fucked up jokes.......I LOVE IT!

[templechristian1]

how many babies does it take to paint a wall

depends on how hard you throw them

[curtainman97]

whats red creepy and crawls up ur leg??? a homesick abortion!!

[DrumBoss82]

what funnier than a ded baby?..... a ded baby nxt to a kid havin a seizure

[Muppetinator]

How do you stop a baby walking through a doorway? Put a spear through its throat

[thebigfour13]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a waffle?

You use a fork to eat a waffle.

[xSmartxAlecx]

What's the difference between a dead baby and strawberry milk?

One's pink and delicious, and the others strawberry milk.

[thatkidarab]

I LOVE IT

[zmacaroni]

Whats the difference between a dead baby and dead baby jokes?

Dead baby jokes will get old

[willybnms]

What's pink, silver, and crawls into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

[thegreenghost1000]

my god this is the funniest video i have ever seen in my life

[totoyamado]

how do you make a dead baby float? two scoops of ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

[goldenbullet372]

why do you put a bapy in the blender feet first to see the expression n its face, how do you get it out of the blender... Tostitos

[calvind604]

Whats the difference between a Dead baby and a Rock?...... you cant fuck a rock

[poopypooppoop1000]

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV­VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV­VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV­VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGG­GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG­GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG­GGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN­NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!PUSSY

[OllieAverage]

I wish I could see the looks on the faces of all the new mothers who see this and get offended. You know, the ones who think it's such a miracle that they spread their legs and got jizzed in, then popped out a fetus 9 months later. It'd only be a miracle if all of the people who had kids could afford them and were smart enough to raise them correctly.

[schoberdink]

@OllieAverage I love you.

[NadineK2K11]

@TLGTPC it came up in the side you retard baahahahahahahhahaha

LOVE FROM NADINE&EFA<3

[NadineK2K11]

@TLGTPC you sick bastard.

[NadineK2K11]

that is fucking sick you sick cunts what type of a grade 1 a-hole has time to make suchaa retarded video ? get a fucking job, i hope your computer gets a bad virus or blows up and destroys your face......sick...

LOVE FROM NADINE&NIAMH<3

[Russrogers68]

@NadineK2K11 calm down its just jokes. its not like he is actually killing babies

[Rxdrifting]

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

[Dtsumo]

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?

A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

[GLim117]

I don't quite get the doritos part can anyone explain to me?

[xxRiidDl3dSn1p3rxx]

@GLim117 you eat the dead baby mush like chip dip xD

[lebronbeast0]

whats the difference between an onion and dead baby

no one cries when u chop the dead baby up

[gringachula6142]

This is fucked up u need help

[Dtsumo]

@gringachula6142

Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?

It was hit by a truck.

[courtneyiloooveyou]

what the fuck , thats not eveen "hilarious"

[xXxtattersxXx]

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? One dead baby in ten trash cans. Whats the difference between an onion and a dead baby? You dont cry when you chop up a baby. Whats more fun than strapping a baby to a closline then spinning it at fifty miles per hour? Stopping it with a shovel. How many dead babys does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw it. Why do you unload a truck full of dead babies with a pitch fork? So you know which ones are still alive. =)

[r3ini]

What happens when you put a dead baby in a microwave?

I don't know, I was too busy laughing

[jkhgsdhgdhgjklsdhfgj]

they are not offensive or anything... they are just not good....at all... boooring...

[lizzyluv96]

What's the difference between a dead baby and chocolate cake?

One tastes darn good, the other is a chocolate cake.

[bcount1]

@lizzyluv96 HAhahahh That was good XD

[lizzyluv96]

@bcount1 tnx :)

[MarioAndLuigi7201]

omg so fuckin funny

[thunderchrist]

Try to re-arrange the jokes so they talk about ground beef instead of dead babies... People seems to be more disturbed by that. Also, replace the mother by father in mother's jokes... That get worst with non-americans people! Enjoy.

[DrsJacksonn]

I have to say I back off from these jokes after having seen a few, but I still think babies are overrated. Baby animals are a lot better. Society treats babies as if they're sacred, when a disaster happens it makes a difference if there were or weren't babies among the victims. Screw that, the elderly own, at least they've proven themselves in life. Hell, I can't remember anything from when I was a baby, I doubt I even knew if I existed!

[CrazyLongboarder69]

I thought it was real funny till i told my step mum the joke and was told one of her babies died :/

[DrsJacksonn]

@CrazyLongboarder69 Well some jokes work even better if you can relate to them...

[TheSpawntrap]

@CrazyLongboarder69 LMFAO!!! HHAHA

[Kilie13Kiddo]

this is the sickest thing iv ever seen.

[Dtsumo]

@Kilie13Kiddo What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?

The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.

[joshie9119]

whats the difference between a baby and a hamburger? you dont f#%k a hamburger before eating it

[rhumphrey1987]

thats so fucked up! you have a mental problem!!

[mikekillman]

@rhumphrey1987 this viseo is your fun are your fucked up to cuse so whatch it so you know what you can bite him and me

[sigma001337]

Whats funnier than 10 babies nailed to one tree?

one baby nailed to 10 trees.

[Panda11Lover23]

Ur F ing sick

U F ing psycho moron

R u retarded none of those r funny they r all F ing wrong

[Dtsumo]

@Panda11Lover23

The funniest part about these are people's reaction.

Ironically enough, the fact that you're even viewing this video suggests that you entered something like "Dead baby jokes" into the search engine. =)

[Panda11Lover23]

@Dtsumo acually i was looking up joke and a play list came up and this was on it!

i dont think things like this are funny at all and uve got to have a pretty twisted mind if you think it is

have a nice day!

[Dtsumo]

@Panda11Lover23 The funny thing isn't the jokes themselves, but your reaction to the joke.

"I believe you can joke about anything." - George Carlin, there goes your argument.

[SantaTheEmo]

@Panda11Lover23 wtf are you on? theese are the funniest jokes i ever heard! :D:DDD lmao

[lgwest123]

these all offended me.

[MrMiko386]

Alternate Answer:

Whats the difference between a baby and an onion? (I made this up)

You cry from laughing so hard when your chopping up a baby.

[chezaookami]

What's the difference between a baby and you?

I don't want to kill the baby.

[youngblaze850]

lame

[Tetragramozoid]

What is the difference between a baby and a pimple.

You can't rape a pimple!

[ZachHwee]

i like watching people get angry over this video, it adds to the overall entertainment and thus satisfies my cruel desires of seeing another sims misfortune and frustration

[iLikeSweatyHairyMen]

ALTERNATE JOKE:

How many babies can fit in a blender?

Depends on how hungry you are.(Correct Answer)

[Strega222]

"Do not try anything in this video, if you do, you are a psycho." We're already psycho for watching this fucking video. But that's okay, the world needs less babies.

"Blessed is he who taketh and dasheth thy infants agains the rocks"

Psalm 137:9.

Just to keep you pesky, sanctimonious, holier than thou, pseudo-moral christians at bay.

[Strega222]

"Do not try anything in this video, if you do, you are a psycho." We're already psycho for watching this fucking video. But that's okay, the world needs less babies.

[TheEnforcer321]

whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? .... I don't cum on a sandwich before I eat it! lol jk great video

[mfredhernandez]

that shit was hilarious, i have a dead baby and that shits funny

[zachmum]

I really don't know how anyone can find any of these jokes funny. I think there more sickening then actually funny. There just blonde jokes made into dead baby jokes.

[samanthajayneorr]

sick.

[BloodRoseTheVampire]

\=/



[maxie2005]

Whats the difference between a baby and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't cry when you put it in the oven.

[Kocktopus]

What's worse than nailing a baby to the wall?

Getting a boner.

[Agassi2096]

Just to make it clear, I do not approve of the following, but these ones are just so funny (my friends made them up) :(

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pile of trash?

I don't force mothers to eat piles of trash.

What's the difference between a dead baby and pizza?

I don't rape pizza before I eat it.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pile of shit?

I don't eat piles of shit when they come out of my butt.

[dudkun]

@Agassi2096 wtf...none of those make any sense. on top of not approving of dead baby jokes, you post fucking stupid ones that your friends made up. fucking dumbass. stfu,gtfo. thanks.

[Agassi2096]

@dudkun how do they not make sense?

"What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

I don't rape a pizza before I eat it"

That makes total sense. It's basically saying that a person rapes a baby before he eats it, but only eats pizza (doesn't rape it). It's not too hard to understand....

[michaelsmommy89]

you people are sick & wrong to find stuff like this funny grow up

[davidgsr2k]

@michaelsmommy89 You grow up and stop going online searching for dead baby jokes....stupid adults...

[michaelsmommy89]

@davidgsr2k you idiot I didn't search for this lame ass horrible jokes. I was looking up babys & this bs came up

[davidgsr2k]

@michaelsmommy89 Yeap im the idiot because your on this video...ANYWAYS your story is pretty cool..do share with us all more.... *Yawn*