This is a great video. I understand painfully well what you're going through. I posted yesterday saying I had stopped cutting and was on the road to recovery, however, I seem to have been mistaken. I feel so worthless for letting my guard down and cutting again after all this time. I'm going to start keeping a blog about my progress, and I hope it helps me stop and get focused on what really matters in life.
I was just discharged from a hospital near my house. I was kept there, against my will, for a week and half. Under the Baker Act, I was considered a danger to myself because I had written suicide notes, cut myself, and I had many, many horrible thoughts and wants to die. I really regret that time, and your video reminds me of what it felt like, and, how it still feels. Im trying so hard every day not to cut myself or hurt myself. Thank you for making this video.
I have two depressed friends, one of them being my boyfriend. I have to remind him constantly how great his life is. Now I'm only 13 and it may sound crazy, but i do give useful advice. I also have problems in my life but ive learned how to cope. Im not on meds, but i know tons of people who are on meds for depression. Also you said you love music, i blast music all day. I sit in my room all day and do nothing but blast music. Mainly loner music...
Depression is fascinating and beautiful in its own way and I know it causes lots of painful emotions that really hurt. It's a puzzle sometimes figuring out how to get over depression. When I figure it out I'm going to tell the whole world. Your video gave me a jump start. Thanks!
I see a lot of myself in this. I never really thought about how my room is a reflection of my mind, but it really is. Everything in this video meant something to me, thank you for sharing.
I have depression I've had it since I was 11 and I am 18 now You are so brave Its like you are telling my live story u are so right people just don't understand what its like
IIt is true that depression can take control of you. That is why you ask yourself, "what is the point?" Your very own thoughts destroy your mental capability. There is no way to completely get rid of depression, but there is a way to dilute it. Clear your thoughts stop thinking about how your feelings affect you and focus on what you can do if you could just stop listening to yourself. The more you think one way, the more you convince yourself it is the truth.
it s hard to have depresion,sever depresion,and people ho don t have it don t understand,but teh most important is after you are recoverd to take care of you,omega 3,uridine,sport everyday,good nutrition and harmony.
Its grate to see that some people are trying to be in help in this world like for instents your video shows me you care about humanity and you want to help people and from these coments it looks like youv done alot you should be so proud of ourself i wish i was as nice as you.I also want to say that you are verry verry prety dont ruin yourself girl take the piersig out and trye out modeling i think you would go far.
(((hanalara))) Great video. I hope you're feeling better now. Keep your chin up, girl, and remember, there are people in this world that understand and care about you.
hana will you marry me???????????????xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This really ... I dunno I know you said it wasn't a great film but it really affected me. Im 15 and going through the same thing. My parents found out Im Gay so now it's even worse Im trapped in my room and Im just so alone. Thank you for showing others how we feel every day.
As far as advice go, I`m not going to give you any, as my own experience is I need to experience these "truths" for myself.. Sorry to hear about your goldfish, but as they say; There`s more fish in the sea! Thanks for a nice film! Much love from a depressed norwegian!
You`re a beautiful, young girl with your whole life in front of you, so just hang in there! I KNOW it will get better.. There is nothing wrong with you, some people, I think, are blessed/cursed with an overabundance of feelings, they (myself included) simply feel too much, on both sides of the scale.
I'm Belgian so i don't speak really good english but i will try.
I'm 18 now. I understand completely what you feel. I was in depression and they put me for 6 months in a psychiatrik hospital, it was and is really hard to live, some people think i'm crazy because of that, because i selfharmed, because i have attempted to suicide 6 times but i'm not. I left hospital in february 2007, now it's always so difficult to live, i think i will never really come out of my depression and it give me fear.
i feel the same my life is a real mess i dont know what to do anymore. i cant be fuckd doing anything no more i could hadly watch this whole video sorry. its a reallly really good video i mean it. but it makes me so sad .
this hits extremely close to home. it's strange, we have so many of the same habits and mannerisms but i've never even met you. my room is also a wreck, i also skip school to waste time on the computer, i also just don't feel like fulfilling commitments, i also fail to see the point, but i also see beauty. it's weird, i try to see the beauty in everything but i just can't see it in myself.
It's been nearly 5 years of me feeling this way, with no treatment, no pills, nothing..I think I'm finally giving up thinking so much about everything..Now days I try to focus more on reality & stop dwelling over all of my inner thoughts & my inner insecurities of myself. It's almost like I'm living a lie, forcing myself to believe I'm happy & my life is okay..
I am the same way. I went 4 years with no medical attention and no pills, then this year my Dad finally offered my counseling and I took it. Needless to say, it didnt help. She said I had extreme depression and perscribed me some pills. Those also didnt work. Counseling was my worse mistake, and I eventually threw out the pills and told myself to fucking buck up and now living this lie is so much easier than dealing with the hurt thats under the surface...
..like they really are ridiculous but it's what I THINK! Sometimes I think, gah am I just over annylizing everthing way too much? Is this why I'm creating these negative thoughts inside my mind? Yes, I do believe so. I really do, then another part thinks well maybe I'm suppose to think these thoughts, so I can learn from it?
I've come to realise that when I was about I'd say 15? somewhere around there, but yet even know I still have this empty feeling inside of me, just today I still haven't gotten dressed because I tell myself "What's the point of getting dressed?, I have no life?" lol I know it may be funny that I put "lol" because I'm coming to a point where I'm literally laughing at my thoughts.
Ever since I was 13 years old, I began hating my life & just thinking so many negative thoughts & always feeling empty inside.I'm now 17 & I still feel that way, but like you were saying in the end of your video, basically appreciate the smaller things in life & not focus so much on all of the bullshit.
depression is a downward spiral, and you need to stop this now. you only live once, and you could be dead tomoro. live for the now, love every second. you are young (like me) and have everything to live for. you have people who love you, and that is what matters. depression is stupid, real, but pointless. your brother loves you, look after him.
you obviously don't under stand what it is like, someone can't just snap from sad to ectatic about like in a heartbeat, if at all they are capable of getting over their negative emotions
Hi. I too am battling depression and I LOVE your video. There are days that I just want to kill myself, I go to therapy and take Prozac. I've been a self-injurer since I was 10 and people really look down on all that. It doesn't help for people to tell you that your depression is your fault (as they did me). Again...I really liked you video.
Please, don't give up!!! There is always hope... It is never to late! I think your mom and dad are very proud... It's never to late to be happy :) You can start over, begin over. There are a lot of people who loves you, even if you don't know it yet. You have a special place in my heart, i am proud on you...
I think you are so brave to make this movie!! It's so good you could do it, a lot of people are to scared to do, but you could do it... You can be very proud on yourself... i am... Your little brother loves you, i can hear it in his voice...
long forgotten, but somehow resurface over and over... I'm fucking up my education, I couldn't even keep my fucking goldfish alive, I can't even get out of bed when I need to, I'm nothing, I'm nobody, I'm shit... over and over and over and over.
it is, i know. big hugs to you, and i too have fucked up my education on many occaisions, im 19 now, and im "ploughin" thru. i know its hard, but please, keep going xxx
I also suffer from clinical depression. Ur an awesome person, to have such an outlook on the world, ur braver than me! I'm 20 and i'm still not out on my own, I cant seem to break away. My outlook on the world is that its a horible place, I guess i'm afraid of it and i'm hiding away so I dont have to face it. I should have been in colledge long before now, but I find it so hard to get motivated and do every day activities.
I can get depressed too sometimes, but really the thing that really helps is to stop thinking about myself and start doing something that needs to get done... That really does help when I just stop thinking about myself and being with self pity because really its a downward spiral
I really liked your video. You remind me of myself when I was your age. I know what it's like to be smiling on the outside, but inside not feeling the same. I didn't really understand the reasons at the time. Sometimes there's a specific reason or sometimes seems like there's no reason at all. I hope you keep on doing what you've done here because when you start thinking that you're not worthwhile, everything good starts slipping away.
I have maniac depression and I've been trough serious maniac episodes this year and substance abuse as well. Just taken an lsd blotter and had to deal with mania/ temporary paranoid schizophrenia during at least 25 days.
I´ve searched for self-descrution everywere as a way to redeem myself from this guilty feelings about everything in my life. Sniffed glue, almost had a stroke with cocaine, lots of alcohol... And I have some cigarrete burns on my arms that will never fade away.
I can relate to this far too well. Everything weighs on me when I'm depressed and have little to no energy or brain power to do much of anything when its especially bad. And for what? What a waste of mind time and energy but so hard to stop.
yes i do have a wonderful brother but it isnt hurting him, we dont talk about it all the time and its not the main topic of conversation even sporadically. we tell me brother these things so he can understand. he doesnt know about the darkest of times, or even the dark times. he jsut knows how to take me better, he knows my moods/outrages/episodes are not personal.
yea u are right that there is so many wonderful things in life,thanks for helping me get out of depression,your video was a great help for me,i know how sad u are because i had the same problem that u did.thanks for everything u really stop me from doing something wrong.
It's only taken you 19 years to grasp what this is about. And to embrace it and to see the light on the other side of the dark. Keep smiling, and acknowledging your accomplishments. This video is powerful, and through your pain you help others to recognize what depression can be like. Thank you for letting us into this part of your world.
Some good ways to deal with depression: Have a sense of humor about life, try to have fun and be playful, be at peace with yourself, think about warm/loving memories, and feel compassion toward others (NOT guilt). Never hide - let everything flow through you, good and bad, without trying to escape bad feelings or cling to good ones, and you will feel alive. Or at least that's my experience, so hopefully there's wisdom in what I'm saying.
ever stared at grass and laugh,stared at the ceiling for 4 hours,ever slept for 27 hours...or say...weo...jip thats me,and my suicide is gonna be an artpiece
Wow. You have a real talent for film-making and your dialogue with the camera is completely engrossing. That's not meant to be a 'feel good about yourself' comment, by the way - just an observation.
i take my hat off to you for having the guts to post this video!!!! seriously!
the ignorant comments are just an example of what you knew already.. a lot of people don't understand the first thing about depression!... lucky them :)
i hate to see anyone going through this kind of thing... but at the same time it is a comfort to be reminded that no one person is alone in the things they feel... there are a lot of us nutters out there! unfortunately....
Your film is very inspirational in that even though you document a horrid state of mind like depression, you still found the courage to share it with others. And that I find commendable. Thank you for sharing this in the beautiful way that you did. I hope everything turns out well for you, tc.
Depression is not a sickness. It's a lack of direction. People always go on about how pathetic life is, but it's because they make it that way. Find a goal in life and make it happen, and your depression can't feed off idleness.
Hey Hanna it's Bruno from Outreach.Tomorrow 1 October iam going back to school that i had left one year ago, i guess the memories of those days came back and i started to fill bad,really bad in a way that i hadn't felt for months.Thanks to your film iam better now.Cheers
You dopey teenage waste of space. We all had the ten tonne's when we were your age. Pull yourself together, get a grip, be a useful member of society and be happy with it. Or, kill yourself, waster.
I think your a waste of space mate. It's called an illness because it's something that is wrong, and you may have had the "10 tonnes" but with an illness like depression you can't deal with it the usual crack.
And may i add, how proud your community must be of you, when your contribution seems to be searching youtube for videos your not interested in just to pick faults. Grow up.
I think its so stupid that people are judging her depression on one little video. Why does it have to be a competition to find out who is most depressed? There are different severities and surely whoever it is, whether they are feeling down generally for no reason or have had the worst life in the world everyone deserves to get better? Saying "it could be worse" or "mine is worse" is just ridiculus, because theres always going to be people worse off than yourself, whoever you are.
exactly my point. i never said why i was depressed or that i was more depressed than every1 else. its a video about MY depression in MY own words. thank you x
well done for making this, I feel its important that people see this, those who understand and those who should try. Going through a big one myself at the moment, this gave me some inspiration.
wow all i can say is, you are my hero...fantastic video, it captures the raw essence of depression. it sucks, yeah, but there's ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it...we'll all get through. great job!
to kehanocy...maybe you are talking about "normal" depression,we don´t necesarly have to have a reason for depression,that´s the hard part,the big why? you know.
...also have lost all hope and dissagree with what the world has given you?. Of course I know my life could go even worse, but it also could have gone better like it once was, and now that all is gone, fealings, hapiness and hope... I see your video and I say wow, there it goes another depress human bin, i wonder what kind of video would she has created if she had also loose hope.
Thanks for the video, and plz make another one if you go lower
(From Spain) I rated it as 5, I enjoied the video, your point of view and how you express yourself. Unfortunally I dissagree with the part were you say the world is great, What if you not only had depression but ...
@ 123541skg medicals can HELP but theire not the solution.
its hard work to fight the depression in youre HEAD.damn hard work.
you have to fight against these self destructive thoughts.
you cant think in a normal way when youre in bad depressive mood,its like : ALL IS BAD ... but it isnt,but you cant understand when youre depressed -.-
sorry for my bad english,im from german.
read the book "feeling good from david d burns",it helped me a lot,my doctor told me to read this.
existentialism, nihilism, anarchism, moral relativism, anxiety, angst, authenticity, sartre, camus, jaspers, kierkeegard, being, nothingness, absurdity, alienation postmodernism - when i am depressed (constantly), i pass the time on the library
I love your video. I've watched it 2 or 3 times now, and for some reason it seems to give me hope whenever I feel like crap. I just wanted to thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings for other people to hear them. You're truly a great person. :D
Your movie may be very amateur, but it's one of the best films I've ever seen! =D Seriously! lol. I feel your pain Hun, i have depression too, and anxiety problems. But like you said... there are so many wonderful things in life!
thats why i dont talk about my depression. coz of insensitive people. really do feel for you though. just keep on trying to survive the day..all the very best!!!
I'm 43 years old. I have lived with depression all my life. Until recently I finally broke down and relized that it is a medical condition and I have to treat it like one. Everything I do and you is revolved around depression. The best way to deal with it is to be on medication. It takes a long time to figure out which medication works. medication saved my life. I think more clearly and I am finally happy inside. You have to constantly seek medical help. You don't have to live like this.
i can really relate to this video. a lot of people on here posted crappy comments, people are so insensitive. its ur life, and u at least had the courage to post a video about such a touchy topic that people don't understand. i've been battling depression since i was 8, and yeah it keeps you from a normal life. i can totally relate. i want to move to an island by myself or something. seriously. i just want to get away from it all as well! but i have school too. gr8 video! btw cool haircut!
lightskinnedthickma... god yes.. i have that same "escape" thing about moving to an island somewhere! i really thought it was just me!... i guess it's not so strange to feel that way when the life that we know seems so hard to deal with :)
well done for the film,depression can be so tiring, on the body, and mind. you`ll learn to live with it, and make it useful. put it all into your music, and make it work for ya. and believe me, your room aint that bad! keep the faith, love on ya!
Hi take no notice of the ppl who have no idea wat deppression is!and 4 them ppl u NEED to get a life!I totally understand how u feel thanks 4 making the vid xx
i have had md (manic depression) since i was thirteen and yes i have been diagnosed officially.screwball arnt i.well i suffer with the depression part more than the manic, and people dont understand that it is debilitating, and that even to pick a newspaper up off the floor is a huge feat when your brain is making you convinced that you are the biggest cunt walking the earth.
ok no offense but I have been depressed and had real reasons. you seem to be doing this for attention. you're ennabling yourself. this "informs" no one, in fact it makes it look like the shit I went through was nothing. thanks for belittling people with real problems.
well no offence or anything but just because i dont tell the world my reasons for being depressed doesnt mean i am not. you have no right to come here and tell me that my problems arent as bad as yours. i have real reasons, reasons that i dont feel the need to justify to u.
I hope you weren't thinking that I was saying your problems weren't as bad as mine because they're not. I blamed it on so many other things all my life (43). I did not want to be labeled as "mentally ill" or did not believe I was. It was heartbreaking to me to finally break down and admit it. The best way to deal with it is to keep educating yourself, take medication until you find one that works.
once again ill say this. you do NOT know the shit I went through.how can you tell from a 30minute piece where my depression comes from, or where in life I come from? get over yourself, this video has helped alot of people. and as for attention, thats complete bollocks.
its called doing something constructive the feelings i am dealt with. some people paint, write, or take it out on others. i made a film. grow a fucking back bone love and realise that you are not the most and only depressed person in this world.
If you have depression or not is a psychologists decision to make, but telling yourself you do this and that because you're sick just makes it worse.For example you describe your room, saying that it resembles your head, knowing that just makes you feel crappy. I think you're also confusing self-doubt and a low self esteem with depression. I think you try to make everything you do which is remotely bad an example of how depressed you are.
i just wanted to tell you that your video really spoke to me. i can totally relate to most of the things you spoke about, and i think you are amazing for having the bravery and courage to speak out about them. all those people who sent comments like 'it's just teenage angst', you're very ignorant to the effects of the illness and it's severity. i'm pleased you are because i wouldn't wish it on anybody. however, i wish we were more understood. love to you hana x
you gotta stop saying you're a terrible person, ur well nice for making this film for people from all over the place..ive been depressed for about 3-4 years now and its good to kno ur not afraid to let people kno what its like, might not make much sense but i hope u understand, but thank you, and i hope you're feeling better, i wish u all the best, i really do xox
WOW, thanks for that......I know what the deal is, and I won't say what I hope, but do know.....somehow, we will make it......again....thanks love....(love, cause that's what you are for this)
i know how you feel... im also depressed...sometimes I can't even find the hope to move on...i just want to end it, no matter what it takes, but i cant ever stop it... its like an ocean, it swallows you before you realize that you are drowning...
hey i dont knwo if i ahve depression or if im jsut sad all the time! i dont know how to tell! how do oyu tell?? i really hope you continue to fight and i wish you all the best!! x
girl,ive run across this video 2x now, im sorry how u feel i feel the same way,i dont know why its all so confusng isnt it. (& hurtfullpainfullheartaches)i am depressed for a few years and no beeter today then when it allstarted,,even tho im on medication and all,i still feel helpless adn alone and worthless peice of insignifigant shit,yepthatsme.
.... i know where you're comming from.. im not comfortable saying much over this due to the collosal magnatude of assholes that are on this site.. all im sayings is.... i know exactly ... i know it more than that.. i can't type more im gunna go watch some videos [yey]
where do you live so i can beat the shit out of you,i think that will give you something different to think bout,and stop bringing that kid down to your level by telling him all your crazy toughts he is a kid and doesn't need to hear this stuff.
Please do not be offended. I was just seeing that the pills helped my friend. That is all. Of course it is not just a cold. You seem a good person and you really deserve happiness. Don't be so much against the world asking you questions it will not help you.
all this shit everyone is writing seems so true, i cant explain what is wrong with me. every time i argue or do something wrong, even the smallest thing i dont forget about it and i just cant let go. i play alot of contact sports and even when i tackle someone i apologize. wtf am i saying sorry for??? im backing this girl all the way. good luck hun, i hope everything in your life turns out great and all your dreams come true.
To everybody suffering with depression, DON'T KILL YOURSELVES!!! Once you've navigated yourselves out of depression, you're going to be SO STRONG in mind and soul afterwards that you'll probably (without knowing) have such freedom, it'll feel amazing, because you'll know things that others don't know - others who haven't gone through depression.
I've just been through it, maybe I'm still in it but don't realise. That's what's also bad about it. (You don't know whether you are still in it and whether you still have to figure a way out of it - In a way, it is a type of what people refer to as 'madness', which is an over-used word...)
Kissing someone when you're depressed AND in love with them feels real but there's no feeling so it's not that good at all really, except that you feel you aren't going to trip over or make a gag reaction when kissing them...hmm, interesting, but depression, yeah, it's the worst feeling of loneliness and nothingness there is, there's no real words to really describe it that well.
you are so beautiful and i love you. you have the strength to create this video, i'd be scared to open myself up like that. enjoy your depression, you might miss it when it's gone.
right, if you genuinely thought you were ugly or a "mess" as you put it, why would you put your posey pictures on myspace? i really cant take this seriously cos you do come off as a whiney teenage, well, for what of a better word......emo. And the thing about being late for picking up your brother, you blamed it on you being depressed when it was clearly just laziness! i know youre not gonna accept this comment but i had to say it anyway, fuckin cheer up love!
Hi. I have a depression and I think you did a very good job explaining how it feels! The good news is that you're YOUNG and you got help pretty early in your life! I got help after ten years of being sick (I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and I also refused to seek help-very stupid!). I hope you are better today! Best //Stefan
U sound a lot like me. Some days r OK, most arent. I often think I have become so used to feeling low I dont even notice nemore. Everythin seems pointless and feels like my whole body is heavy n I want to collapse. I think about things way too much, I tend to live in the past, wish things could be how they was when I was little, and tend to dwell on embarrassing or upsetting moments in my past. Thank u very much for makin this video, your really brave and your brother seems lovely too. Take care
Amazing - absolutely amazing. You have truly motivated me to seek for the good things in life, and I want to thank you for creating this wonderful video.
Keep on fighting, and live by what you've said! Life really is a beautiful thing - just reach out and find it!
i wish i wasent depressed...i wish i could just be happy agian..ut i cant. i dont wanna live anymore... and i dont know wats wrong with me. Please tell me your better now and that its gonna go by real quick.
you say it, but you seem to be well connected to alot of people through your videos..why don't you live just to keep them happy. and maybe it will rub-off on you. i feel the same way though, and it's fucked
very good, I haver despression and you explained it very well. Everyone always says i make a big deal out of nothing! and why does a hand have to be more then a hand. because dammm it it just is!
hanalara: This vid was in 2005. How are you now honey? People who say "get over it"? That is like telling a kid with two broken legs to get over it and walk on them - If you do not have kind thoughts don't give them away.simple. Hanalara update please..Adam
Anyway i went to a psychoanalyst for about 9 months and i really became better, by realizing worlds just a closed system, its some kind of choice wether you are a part of it or accept it by seperate THE world and YOURE world. a damn i cant tell the secret, anyway its different to everyone, so give hell...
hanalara i really like u, wether u didnt answer my message, but i think ure swamped by silly letters that say "hey ure fine.."
The story of ure mother's face cream touched me somehow. i was depressed for more than 2 years, and i had additional problems like daydreams of torching my classmates.. well i really like the way how hanalara shares, like i said i feel close to her. Part1
Focus on thoughts that are happy they are much powerful then negative, what you need is to change your life drastically so your mind is focused on something constructive instead of something that is stagnate.
find me
IndustrialismFilm 3 years ago
This is a great video. I understand painfully well what you're going through. I posted yesterday saying I had stopped cutting and was on the road to recovery, however, I seem to have been mistaken. I feel so worthless for letting my guard down and cutting again after all this time. I'm going to start keeping a blog about my progress, and I hope it helps me stop and get focused on what really matters in life.
Smilyflip 4 years ago 8
I was just discharged from a hospital near my house. I was kept there, against my will, for a week and half. Under the Baker Act, I was considered a danger to myself because I had written suicide notes, cut myself, and I had many, many horrible thoughts and wants to die. I really regret that time, and your video reminds me of what it felt like, and, how it still feels. Im trying so hard every day not to cut myself or hurt myself. Thank you for making this video.
Smilyflip 4 years ago 8
I have two depressed friends, one of them being my boyfriend. I have to remind him constantly how great his life is. Now I'm only 13 and it may sound crazy, but i do give useful advice. I also have problems in my life but ive learned how to cope. Im not on meds, but i know tons of people who are on meds for depression. Also you said you love music, i blast music all day. I sit in my room all day and do nothing but blast music. Mainly loner music...
10sgurrl 4 years ago 4
Depression is fascinating and beautiful in its own way and I know it causes lots of painful emotions that really hurt. It's a puzzle sometimes figuring out how to get over depression. When I figure it out I'm going to tell the whole world. Your video gave me a jump start. Thanks!
stargot 4 years ago 6
Thank you.
I see a lot of myself in this. I never really thought about how my room is a reflection of my mind, but it really is. Everything in this video meant something to me, thank you for sharing.
daisybh 4 years ago 5
like your video
ihatesafesmartdriver 4 years ago 3
I have depression I've had it since I was 11 and I am 18 now You are so brave Its like you are telling my live story u are so right people just don't understand what its like
sweetpea42789 4 years ago 3
IIt is true that depression can take control of you. That is why you ask yourself, "what is the point?" Your very own thoughts destroy your mental capability. There is no way to completely get rid of depression, but there is a way to dilute it. Clear your thoughts stop thinking about how your feelings affect you and focus on what you can do if you could just stop listening to yourself. The more you think one way, the more you convince yourself it is the truth.
JLAT1990 4 years ago 4
it s hard to have depresion,sever depresion,and people ho don t have it don t understand,but teh most important is after you are recoverd to take care of you,omega 3,uridine,sport everyday,good nutrition and harmony.
BLUE83SKYY 4 years ago
Its grate to see that some people are trying to be in help in this world like for instents your video shows me you care about humanity and you want to help people and from these coments it looks like youv done alot you should be so proud of ourself i wish i was as nice as you.I also want to say that you are verry verry prety dont ruin yourself girl take the piersig out and trye out modeling i think you would go far.
nickscraft 4 years ago
(((hanalara))) Great video. I hope you're feeling better now. Keep your chin up, girl, and remember, there are people in this world that understand and care about you.
tevian3 4 years ago
hana will you marry me???????????????xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
fenderboy19 4 years ago
This really ... I dunno I know you said it wasn't a great film but it really affected me. Im 15 and going through the same thing. My parents found out Im Gay so now it's even worse Im trapped in my room and Im just so alone. Thank you for showing others how we feel every day.
Mus1cGurl 4 years ago
As far as advice go, I`m not going to give you any, as my own experience is I need to experience these "truths" for myself.. Sorry to hear about your goldfish, but as they say; There`s more fish in the sea! Thanks for a nice film! Much love from a depressed norwegian!
baebubaebu 4 years ago
You`re a beautiful, young girl with your whole life in front of you, so just hang in there! I KNOW it will get better.. There is nothing wrong with you, some people, I think, are blessed/cursed with an overabundance of feelings, they (myself included) simply feel too much, on both sides of the scale.
baebubaebu 4 years ago
I'm Belgian so i don't speak really good english but i will try.
I'm 18 now. I understand completely what you feel. I was in depression and they put me for 6 months in a psychiatrik hospital, it was and is really hard to live, some people think i'm crazy because of that, because i selfharmed, because i have attempted to suicide 6 times but i'm not. I left hospital in february 2007, now it's always so difficult to live, i think i will never really come out of my depression and it give me fear.
flymeaway9 4 years ago
i feel the same my life is a real mess i dont know what to do anymore. i cant be fuckd doing anything no more i could hadly watch this whole video sorry. its a reallly really good video i mean it. but it makes me so sad .
somoneuknow 4 years ago
This is a greta video. It makes see that other people feel the way I do. Sometimes not being alone in this mess means a world
frankieblades 4 years ago 11
on that note, i think you are wonderfully articulate and real, and very very pretty. thanks for doing this, it's really creative
FlyingFnord 4 years ago 14
this hits extremely close to home. it's strange, we have so many of the same habits and mannerisms but i've never even met you. my room is also a wreck, i also skip school to waste time on the computer, i also just don't feel like fulfilling commitments, i also fail to see the point, but i also see beauty. it's weird, i try to see the beauty in everything but i just can't see it in myself.
FlyingFnord 4 years ago 18
me 2
probablytoolate 4 years ago
It's been nearly 5 years of me feeling this way, with no treatment, no pills, nothing..I think I'm finally giving up thinking so much about everything..Now days I try to focus more on reality & stop dwelling over all of my inner thoughts & my inner insecurities of myself. It's almost like I'm living a lie, forcing myself to believe I'm happy & my life is okay..
stephensgirl16 4 years ago 9
I am the same way. I went 4 years with no medical attention and no pills, then this year my Dad finally offered my counseling and I took it. Needless to say, it didnt help. She said I had extreme depression and perscribed me some pills. Those also didnt work. Counseling was my worse mistake, and I eventually threw out the pills and told myself to fucking buck up and now living this lie is so much easier than dealing with the hurt thats under the surface...
Ktlc003 4 years ago
..like they really are ridiculous but it's what I THINK! Sometimes I think, gah am I just over annylizing everthing way too much? Is this why I'm creating these negative thoughts inside my mind? Yes, I do believe so. I really do, then another part thinks well maybe I'm suppose to think these thoughts, so I can learn from it?
stephensgirl16 4 years ago 6
I've come to realise that when I was about I'd say 15? somewhere around there, but yet even know I still have this empty feeling inside of me, just today I still haven't gotten dressed because I tell myself "What's the point of getting dressed?, I have no life?" lol I know it may be funny that I put "lol" because I'm coming to a point where I'm literally laughing at my thoughts.
stephensgirl16 4 years ago 6
Well, I loved your video.
Ever since I was 13 years old, I began hating my life & just thinking so many negative thoughts & always feeling empty inside.I'm now 17 & I still feel that way, but like you were saying in the end of your video, basically appreciate the smaller things in life & not focus so much on all of the bullshit.
stephensgirl16 4 years ago 7
great video.
btw
pretty lips..
juss being nice. (:
funinthesun3221 4 years ago 4
depression is a downward spiral, and you need to stop this now. you only live once, and you could be dead tomoro. live for the now, love every second. you are young (like me) and have everything to live for. you have people who love you, and that is what matters. depression is stupid, real, but pointless. your brother loves you, look after him.
LilyandLola1 4 years ago
you obviously don't under stand what it is like, someone can't just snap from sad to ectatic about like in a heartbeat, if at all they are capable of getting over their negative emotions
dragonwagon22 4 years ago
you are sexy...damn
HatianNation 4 years ago
Hi. I too am battling depression and I LOVE your video. There are days that I just want to kill myself, I go to therapy and take Prozac. I've been a self-injurer since I was 10 and people really look down on all that. It doesn't help for people to tell you that your depression is your fault (as they did me). Again...I really liked you video.
depressedlonely7687 4 years ago 2
Please, don't give up!!! There is always hope... It is never to late! I think your mom and dad are very proud... It's never to late to be happy :) You can start over, begin over. There are a lot of people who loves you, even if you don't know it yet. You have a special place in my heart, i am proud on you...
hoihoidag 4 years ago 2
Heeey....
I think you are so brave to make this movie!! It's so good you could do it, a lot of people are to scared to do, but you could do it... You can be very proud on yourself... i am... Your little brother loves you, i can hear it in his voice...
hoihoidag 4 years ago 3
Hi, this video its so great, im spanish so i cant understand not much, anyway great video, i hope someday i be able to understand this.
Thanks.
VekmanVictor 4 years ago
Hi Hanalara, i think this video its so great, but im spanish, so i dont understand lot of things and words, anyway, its great.
Thanks.
If i just know why are you depressive if you are...
VekmanVictor 4 years ago
very moving video
kyosnk40 4 years ago
I understand her pain this video moved me
kyosnk40 4 years ago 2
I would cry now, but my roommate is in here. lol
jeez, your so great. I hope you can find happiness.
Kaidraconus 4 years ago 2
...(continued)
long forgotten, but somehow resurface over and over... I'm fucking up my education, I couldn't even keep my fucking goldfish alive, I can't even get out of bed when I need to, I'm nothing, I'm nobody, I'm shit... over and over and over and over.
Depression is fucking lame.
ScalfordPlanck 4 years ago
it is, i know. big hugs to you, and i too have fucked up my education on many occaisions, im 19 now, and im "ploughin" thru. i know its hard, but please, keep going xxx
hanalara 4 years ago
I also suffer from clinical depression. Ur an awesome person, to have such an outlook on the world, ur braver than me! I'm 20 and i'm still not out on my own, I cant seem to break away. My outlook on the world is that its a horible place, I guess i'm afraid of it and i'm hiding away so I dont have to face it. I should have been in colledge long before now, but I find it so hard to get motivated and do every day activities.
Ithica
Ithica87 4 years ago
I can get depressed too sometimes, but really the thing that really helps is to stop thinking about myself and start doing something that needs to get done... That really does help when I just stop thinking about myself and being with self pity because really its a downward spiral
cstaylor891 4 years ago
Erm... Fake?
prizeeking 4 years ago
erm... not.
hanalara 4 years ago
trying to judge someones reasons and giving cheap advice like "get laid or get a job" is such a crap.
When it comes to the grounds of mental health then it becomes a huge messy piece of crap.
I dont believe in labels, science just try to make things reasonable and put people in big grey boxes grouped by external simptoms...
juliomrgtz 4 years ago
yes im in the c/o the nhs mental health service
hanalara 4 years ago
Hi hanalara,
I really liked your video. You remind me of myself when I was your age. I know what it's like to be smiling on the outside, but inside not feeling the same. I didn't really understand the reasons at the time. Sometimes there's a specific reason or sometimes seems like there's no reason at all. I hope you keep on doing what you've done here because when you start thinking that you're not worthwhile, everything good starts slipping away.
ellefun2 4 years ago
I´m kind of rebuilding my life now and taking meds (feel like taking drugs, but they´re helping me)
yet you are so beautiful in many ways. And seem to have this perception of the overwhelming beauty on the world that touches me so deep.
Love your voice and wish I could give you a hug just to be away from everything for a second.
wish you luck, don´t give up.
sorry by gramatical mistakes, the meds made me dislexical
juliomrgtz 4 years ago
I have maniac depression and I've been trough serious maniac episodes this year and substance abuse as well. Just taken an lsd blotter and had to deal with mania/ temporary paranoid schizophrenia during at least 25 days.
I´ve searched for self-descrution everywere as a way to redeem myself from this guilty feelings about everything in my life. Sniffed glue, almost had a stroke with cocaine, lots of alcohol... And I have some cigarrete burns on my arms that will never fade away.
juliomrgtz 4 years ago
omg you are beautiful in so many ways.
you just... made me feel.
juliomrgtz 4 years ago 3
I can relate to this far too well. Everything weighs on me when I'm depressed and have little to no energy or brain power to do much of anything when its especially bad. And for what? What a waste of mind time and energy but so hard to stop.
petercheeser 4 years ago
OMG, you are so beautyful.
<3
juliomrgtz 4 years ago
Youre ridiculous.
hurleygirly93 4 years ago
and why is that then love.
hanalara 4 years ago
Because, you have this wonderful brother that loves you and your depressed and he can see it. Its hurting him just as much as its hurting you.
hurleygirly93 4 years ago
yes i do have a wonderful brother but it isnt hurting him, we dont talk about it all the time and its not the main topic of conversation even sporadically. we tell me brother these things so he can understand. he doesnt know about the darkest of times, or even the dark times. he jsut knows how to take me better, he knows my moods/outrages/episodes are not personal.
hanalara 4 years ago
and btw, you have really pretty eyes =)
ElMona 4 years ago
"little things become so massive when youre depressed" I so agree with that...
Like a comment can ruin the whole day..
ElMona 4 years ago
i've said it before and i'll say it again. this video is amazing. <3
theatricalyyours 4 years ago
hi hanalara
yea u are right that there is so many wonderful things in life,thanks for helping me get out of depression,your video was a great help for me,i know how sad u are because i had the same problem that u did.thanks for everything u really stop me from doing something wrong.
demonicwarlock 4 years ago
It's only taken you 19 years to grasp what this is about. And to embrace it and to see the light on the other side of the dark. Keep smiling, and acknowledging your accomplishments. This video is powerful, and through your pain you help others to recognize what depression can be like. Thank you for letting us into this part of your world.
lolasup 4 years ago
Some good ways to deal with depression: Have a sense of humor about life, try to have fun and be playful, be at peace with yourself, think about warm/loving memories, and feel compassion toward others (NOT guilt). Never hide - let everything flow through you, good and bad, without trying to escape bad feelings or cling to good ones, and you will feel alive. Or at least that's my experience, so hopefully there's wisdom in what I'm saying.
wiseguyz123 4 years ago
this is unreal...thts exactly the way i feel...omg..killin me..im totally numb..and feel like crap...
jamzrox00 4 years ago
how old is she?
jessicasthlm 4 years ago
ever stared at grass and laugh,stared at the ceiling for 4 hours,ever slept for 27 hours...or say...weo...jip thats me,and my suicide is gonna be an artpiece
twisted709 4 years ago
Wow. You have a real talent for film-making and your dialogue with the camera is completely engrossing. That's not meant to be a 'feel good about yourself' comment, by the way - just an observation.
Rationality1 4 years ago
i take my hat off to you for having the guts to post this video!!!! seriously!
the ignorant comments are just an example of what you knew already.. a lot of people don't understand the first thing about depression!... lucky them :)
i hate to see anyone going through this kind of thing... but at the same time it is a comfort to be reminded that no one person is alone in the things they feel... there are a lot of us nutters out there! unfortunately....
H0neyBabyD0ll 4 years ago
Your film is very inspirational in that even though you document a horrid state of mind like depression, you still found the courage to share it with others. And that I find commendable. Thank you for sharing this in the beautiful way that you did. I hope everything turns out well for you, tc.
speakupforjustice 4 years ago
awsome video
PS: would someone tell me what´s the name from that song at 18:30 minutes ?
TheFreak1999 4 years ago
at least you have a bed
boddah11111 4 years ago
and thst bed makes the depression float away. its amazing what home furnishings can do for 5 yrs of mental illness.
hanalara 4 years ago
Thanks for the film!
81angie 4 years ago
Your brother seems like such a nice kid. Thanks for the video. Take care of yourself...I hope you get better :)
MSMROCKS 4 years ago
Depression is not a sickness. It's a lack of direction. People always go on about how pathetic life is, but it's because they make it that way. Find a goal in life and make it happen, and your depression can't feed off idleness.
zanedapimp313 4 years ago
i go to college. im training to be a hairdresser, im a freelance photographer, i have a house to maintain, and friends. what idleness.
hanalara 4 years ago
Hey Hanna it's Bruno from Outreach.Tomorrow 1 October iam going back to school that i had left one year ago, i guess the memories of those days came back and i started to fill bad,really bad in a way that i hadn't felt for months.Thanks to your film iam better now.Cheers
odinfour 4 years ago
Hope you are feeling better & things pick up for you, & you are a very nice looking lady very nice, chin up.
tarantulatom 4 years ago
sad. (no offence) but i don't like it. hey that's my opinion don't let it stop you from persuing anything you want.
mychemicalromance0o2 4 years ago
well thats ok. i dont like mychemical romance either :)
hanalara 4 years ago
that's ok :)
mychemicalromance0o2 4 years ago
i'm depressed right now, it really sucks..death seems like a better option
hottfukc101 4 years ago
You dopey teenage waste of space. We all had the ten tonne's when we were your age. Pull yourself together, get a grip, be a useful member of society and be happy with it. Or, kill yourself, waster.
tristanmcg 4 years ago
I think your a waste of space mate. It's called an illness because it's something that is wrong, and you may have had the "10 tonnes" but with an illness like depression you can't deal with it the usual crack.
And may i add, how proud your community must be of you, when your contribution seems to be searching youtube for videos your not interested in just to pick faults. Grow up.
natalieann1988 4 years ago
I think its so stupid that people are judging her depression on one little video. Why does it have to be a competition to find out who is most depressed? There are different severities and surely whoever it is, whether they are feeling down generally for no reason or have had the worst life in the world everyone deserves to get better? Saying "it could be worse" or "mine is worse" is just ridiculus, because theres always going to be people worse off than yourself, whoever you are.
SoOverdosedOnApathy 4 years ago
exactly my point. i never said why i was depressed or that i was more depressed than every1 else. its a video about MY depression in MY own words. thank you x
hanalara 4 years ago
well done for making this, I feel its important that people see this, those who understand and those who should try. Going through a big one myself at the moment, this gave me some inspiration.
Take care kid x
kaiserboz 4 years ago
wow all i can say is, you are my hero...fantastic video, it captures the raw essence of depression. it sucks, yeah, but there's ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it...we'll all get through. great job!
Grozzrox 4 years ago
to kehanocy...maybe you are talking about "normal" depression,we don´t necesarly have to have a reason for depression,that´s the hard part,the big why? you know.
Thanks for the video,you are a brave girl.
from argentina
sofiahvegas 4 years ago
...also have lost all hope and dissagree with what the world has given you?. Of course I know my life could go even worse, but it also could have gone better like it once was, and now that all is gone, fealings, hapiness and hope... I see your video and I say wow, there it goes another depress human bin, i wonder what kind of video would she has created if she had also loose hope.
Thanks for the video, and plz make another one if you go lower
draccomalfoy 4 years ago
(From Spain) I rated it as 5, I enjoied the video, your point of view and how you express yourself. Unfortunally I dissagree with the part were you say the world is great, What if you not only had depression but ...
draccomalfoy 4 years ago
Depression sucks big time i had a few friends back in grade school that were really depressed and helped them cope with it.
bstep13 4 years ago
@ 123541skg medicals can HELP but theire not the solution.
its hard work to fight the depression in youre HEAD.damn hard work.
you have to fight against these self destructive thoughts.
you cant think in a normal way when youre in bad depressive mood,its like : ALL IS BAD ... but it isnt,but you cant understand when youre depressed -.-
sorry for my bad english,im from german.
read the book "feeling good from david d burns",it helped me a lot,my doctor told me to read this.
Kukititoo 4 years ago
existentialism, nihilism, anarchism, moral relativism, anxiety, angst, authenticity, sartre, camus, jaspers, kierkeegard, being, nothingness, absurdity, alienation postmodernism - when i am depressed (constantly), i pass the time on the library
narodniki 4 years ago
<3 ... ~.~ ... <3
elusive3emotion 4 years ago
your life is better than mine atleast.....
releasethedrag 4 years ago
I love your video. I've watched it 2 or 3 times now, and for some reason it seems to give me hope whenever I feel like crap. I just wanted to thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings for other people to hear them. You're truly a great person. :D
Imagunnut 4 years ago 2
i been depressed during my sophmore year,it sucked but now im goooooooodd,thank god im back!!
FootyTeknike 4 years ago
Your movie may be very amateur, but it's one of the best films I've ever seen! =D Seriously! lol. I feel your pain Hun, i have depression too, and anxiety problems. But like you said... there are so many wonderful things in life!
cooker283 4 years ago
Howdy miss 'hanalara'
I really liked this here picture you made specially the bit where you compare your mind to your room as I can relate to that.
Anyway I've made a couple of video blogs bout my depression here in America so I hope you have time to check em out.
Thanks, 'yipdidoda'
yipdidoda 4 years ago
Expressing these kind of feelings is so hard that I've never really been able to do so.
I've been suffering from depressions for about 5 years now. So that I can relate to all of this.
You're such a pretty girl and I feel really sorry for you.
Wish you all the best..It sounds so stupid, but hope is, actually, all we have.
deadlylife 4 years ago
thats why i dont talk about my depression. coz of insensitive people. really do feel for you though. just keep on trying to survive the day..all the very best!!!
gaznawiali 4 years ago
I'm 43 years old. I have lived with depression all my life. Until recently I finally broke down and relized that it is a medical condition and I have to treat it like one. Everything I do and you is revolved around depression. The best way to deal with it is to be on medication. It takes a long time to figure out which medication works. medication saved my life. I think more clearly and I am finally happy inside. You have to constantly seek medical help. You don't have to live like this.
123541skg 4 years ago 2
i can really relate to this video. a lot of people on here posted crappy comments, people are so insensitive. its ur life, and u at least had the courage to post a video about such a touchy topic that people don't understand. i've been battling depression since i was 8, and yeah it keeps you from a normal life. i can totally relate. i want to move to an island by myself or something. seriously. i just want to get away from it all as well! but i have school too. gr8 video! btw cool haircut!
lightskinnedthickma 4 years ago 4
lightskinnedthickma... god yes.. i have that same "escape" thing about moving to an island somewhere! i really thought it was just me!... i guess it's not so strange to feel that way when the life that we know seems so hard to deal with :)
H0neyBabyD0ll 4 years ago
well done for the film,depression can be so tiring, on the body, and mind. you`ll learn to live with it, and make it useful. put it all into your music, and make it work for ya. and believe me, your room aint that bad! keep the faith, love on ya!
pomox 4 years ago
i know how u feel. *sigh*
rockergurl242 4 years ago
depressed but remarkably dressed
handsimjeff 4 years ago
i take pills too and i have depression manic depression and multi personality disorder
clarencefields2007 4 years ago
Hi take no notice of the ppl who have no idea wat deppression is!and 4 them ppl u NEED to get a life!I totally understand how u feel thanks 4 making the vid xx
slhyia111 4 years ago
i have had md (manic depression) since i was thirteen and yes i have been diagnosed officially.screwball arnt i.well i suffer with the depression part more than the manic, and people dont understand that it is debilitating, and that even to pick a newspaper up off the floor is a huge feat when your brain is making you convinced that you are the biggest cunt walking the earth.
minimal1975 4 years ago
ok no offense but I have been depressed and had real reasons. you seem to be doing this for attention. you're ennabling yourself. this "informs" no one, in fact it makes it look like the shit I went through was nothing. thanks for belittling people with real problems.
kehanocy 4 years ago
well no offence or anything but just because i dont tell the world my reasons for being depressed doesnt mean i am not. you have no right to come here and tell me that my problems arent as bad as yours. i have real reasons, reasons that i dont feel the need to justify to u.
hanalara 4 years ago
I hope you weren't thinking that I was saying your problems weren't as bad as mine because they're not. I blamed it on so many other things all my life (43). I did not want to be labeled as "mentally ill" or did not believe I was. It was heartbreaking to me to finally break down and admit it. The best way to deal with it is to keep educating yourself, take medication until you find one that works.
123541skg 4 years ago
no i dont think you were, i was replying to
kehanocy
hanalara 4 years ago
once again ill say this. you do NOT know the shit I went through.how can you tell from a 30minute piece where my depression comes from, or where in life I come from? get over yourself, this video has helped alot of people. and as for attention, thats complete bollocks.
hanalara 4 years ago
its called doing something constructive the feelings i am dealt with. some people paint, write, or take it out on others. i made a film. grow a fucking back bone love and realise that you are not the most and only depressed person in this world.
hanalara 4 years ago
If you have depression or not is a psychologists decision to make, but telling yourself you do this and that because you're sick just makes it worse.For example you describe your room, saying that it resembles your head, knowing that just makes you feel crappy. I think you're also confusing self-doubt and a low self esteem with depression. I think you try to make everything you do which is remotely bad an example of how depressed you are.
Hessenmob 4 years ago
I think you bathe too much in your depression. You get yourself down because you're too aware of being sick.
Hessenmob 4 years ago
hello hana..
i just wanted to tell you that your video really spoke to me. i can totally relate to most of the things you spoke about, and i think you are amazing for having the bravery and courage to speak out about them. all those people who sent comments like 'it's just teenage angst', you're very ignorant to the effects of the illness and it's severity. i'm pleased you are because i wouldn't wish it on anybody. however, i wish we were more understood. love to you hana x
beckygillam 4 years ago
you gotta stop saying you're a terrible person, ur well nice for making this film for people from all over the place..ive been depressed for about 3-4 years now and its good to kno ur not afraid to let people kno what its like, might not make much sense but i hope u understand, but thank you, and i hope you're feeling better, i wish u all the best, i really do xox
mello11219 4 years ago 2
your a whiney retard ..i can allready tell that you have no idea what real depression is ...and your home was fine ..just tidy it you lazy bitch
kuntrock 4 years ago
your fuckn retarded and whiney ..jesus christ ,,you have no idea what depression is . your place was fine ..tidy it you lazy bitch
kuntrock 4 years ago
i understand, relate.
deveat 4 years ago
WOW, thanks for that......I know what the deal is, and I won't say what I hope, but do know.....somehow, we will make it......again....thanks love....(love, cause that's what you are for this)
roblou62 4 years ago
i know how you feel... im also depressed...sometimes I can't even find the hope to move on...i just want to end it, no matter what it takes, but i cant ever stop it... its like an ocean, it swallows you before you realize that you are drowning...
Coolathanu 4 years ago
yeah that's so true. the analogy sums it up!
lightskinnedthickma 4 years ago
your video is amazing. it truly covers what it feels like. thank you, its nice to know you aren't alone in the world. hope you are feeling well.
Dorda44 4 years ago
This is a nice video. I hope you do recover from depression. It has affected my family for awhile, and it wasn't a nice experience.
spitfireVCK 4 years ago
hey i dont knwo if i ahve depression or if im jsut sad all the time! i dont know how to tell! how do oyu tell?? i really hope you continue to fight and i wish you all the best!! x
xtmb93x 4 years ago
girl,ive run across this video 2x now, im sorry how u feel i feel the same way,i dont know why its all so confusng isnt it. (& hurtfullpainfullheartaches)i am depressed for a few years and no beeter today then when it allstarted,,even tho im on medication and all,i still feel helpless adn alone and worthless peice of insignifigant shit,yepthatsme.
itskellyanddeb 4 years ago
depression makes me feel broken
laila7 4 years ago
depression sucks... have been living with depression since the age of 16...
laila7 4 years ago
@ Hanalara
erm... you've got a PM about this video because somehow I got an error here concerning some url stuff...
GoreAndGuts 4 years ago
.... i know where you're comming from.. im not comfortable saying much over this due to the collosal magnatude of assholes that are on this site.. all im sayings is.... i know exactly ... i know it more than that.. i can't type more im gunna go watch some videos [yey]
adonis1077 4 years ago
thankyou for putting this up n i hope you take carex
happyharrysarry 4 years ago
where do you live so i can beat the shit out of you,i think that will give you something different to think bout,and stop bringing that kid down to your level by telling him all your crazy toughts he is a kid and doesn't need to hear this stuff.
dawnfreshmilk 4 years ago
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!
hanalara 4 years ago
I was just wondering, is it clinical depression that you have? Do you take medication for that? Because I had a friend who took pills.
Vr0m0patates 4 years ago
yes it is, and yes i do. thanks for watching x
hanalara 4 years ago
Please do not be offended. I was just seeing that the pills helped my friend. That is all. Of course it is not just a cold. You seem a good person and you really deserve happiness. Don't be so much against the world asking you questions it will not help you.
Vr0m0patates 4 years ago
oh im not against people asking me questions, my answer wasnt suposed to be as blunt as it came out. sorry x
hanalara 4 years ago
my best written music comes from my depression, if i wasnt depressed i wouldnt have writen masterpieces...
blindpilot0906 after myspace slash
distortion5 4 years ago
all this shit everyone is writing seems so true, i cant explain what is wrong with me. every time i argue or do something wrong, even the smallest thing i dont forget about it and i just cant let go. i play alot of contact sports and even when i tackle someone i apologize. wtf am i saying sorry for??? im backing this girl all the way. good luck hun, i hope everything in your life turns out great and all your dreams come true.
royalzzz 4 years ago
Dude...Thats like me..
Doofy36 4 years ago
me 2 i dont know why, i swear i try to forget i swear i do.
manly427 4 years ago
Hey Everyone it's great to read these comments it really helps me with my battle of depression
friendhope 4 years ago
omg im actually crying! thanks 4 making that video. i totally connected with it.. ur an amazing girl xx
pheebzee 4 years ago
To everybody suffering with depression, DON'T KILL YOURSELVES!!! Once you've navigated yourselves out of depression, you're going to be SO STRONG in mind and soul afterwards that you'll probably (without knowing) have such freedom, it'll feel amazing, because you'll know things that others don't know - others who haven't gone through depression.
JonCumella 4 years ago
I've just been through it, maybe I'm still in it but don't realise. That's what's also bad about it. (You don't know whether you are still in it and whether you still have to figure a way out of it - In a way, it is a type of what people refer to as 'madness', which is an over-used word...)
JonCumella 4 years ago
Kissing someone when you're depressed AND in love with them feels real but there's no feeling so it's not that good at all really, except that you feel you aren't going to trip over or make a gag reaction when kissing them...hmm, interesting, but depression, yeah, it's the worst feeling of loneliness and nothingness there is, there's no real words to really describe it that well.
JonCumella 4 years ago
you are so beautiful and i love you. you have the strength to create this video, i'd be scared to open myself up like that. enjoy your depression, you might miss it when it's gone.
mrfankiller 4 years ago 2
I'm a hell of a lot older than you (50's). In my youth, "Depression" wasn't identified
as any kind of ailment to much of the general populace. I was depressed, but didn't know it.
I was so numb, I lost a family and was going to try to win them back by making a million bucks.
10 years later-I was still trying and sadly, I had to accept they were gone.
I'm much better. Met a depressed guy who I can see is so full of himself and rude, he creates
his own void. I learned from him.
Paul186 4 years ago
right, if you genuinely thought you were ugly or a "mess" as you put it, why would you put your posey pictures on myspace? i really cant take this seriously cos you do come off as a whiney teenage, well, for what of a better word......emo. And the thing about being late for picking up your brother, you blamed it on you being depressed when it was clearly just laziness! i know youre not gonna accept this comment but i had to say it anyway, fuckin cheer up love!
magooismint 4 years ago
word..nice
kuntrock 4 years ago
love, love is why we live you need to be love and be loved
bobsagetjk 4 years ago
depressions horrible i ttli gt everythin in ur vid
hillynm17 4 years ago
Hi. I have a depression and I think you did a very good job explaining how it feels! The good news is that you're YOUNG and you got help pretty early in your life! I got help after ten years of being sick (I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and I also refused to seek help-very stupid!). I hope you are better today! Best //Stefan
FinalProgram 4 years ago
U sound a lot like me. Some days r OK, most arent. I often think I have become so used to feeling low I dont even notice nemore. Everythin seems pointless and feels like my whole body is heavy n I want to collapse. I think about things way too much, I tend to live in the past, wish things could be how they was when I was little, and tend to dwell on embarrassing or upsetting moments in my past. Thank u very much for makin this video, your really brave and your brother seems lovely too. Take care
SoOverdosedOnApathy 4 years ago
Amazing - absolutely amazing. You have truly motivated me to seek for the good things in life, and I want to thank you for creating this wonderful video.
Keep on fighting, and live by what you've said! Life really is a beautiful thing - just reach out and find it!
Glunn11 4 years ago
i wish i wasent depressed...i wish i could just be happy agian..ut i cant. i dont wanna live anymore... and i dont know wats wrong with me. Please tell me your better now and that its gonna go by real quick.
spetsnazGRU 4 years ago
Im gonna kill myself im so damn depressed...its never gonna get better.
spetsnazGRU 4 years ago
you say it, but you seem to be well connected to alot of people through your videos..why don't you live just to keep them happy. and maybe it will rub-off on you. i feel the same way though, and it's fucked
chunk1969 4 years ago
People who watch this video and believe they can relate to the feeling of Depression that it portrays.
Please Send me a message so I can provide you with the link to Hana's forum created as a sanctuary for people suffering with Depression.
CannonFodderGothic 4 years ago
I loved this video it made me feel so....I'm not sure how to explain it,
But this video was just so reall so...Beautiful.
333love 4 years ago
This was such a beautiful video I loved it
333love 4 years ago
This video captures that feeling so well.
Just typing this comment takes all of my energy. I hope things get better for the both of us.
p.s. You're not alone.
blue0tide0affair 4 years ago
very good, I haver despression and you explained it very well. Everyone always says i make a big deal out of nothing! and why does a hand have to be more then a hand. because dammm it it just is!
weedyslender 4 years ago
This movie was amazing. I loved it. You did a really great job editing it. And I loved the music.
theangelic1 4 years ago
hanalara: This vid was in 2005. How are you now honey? People who say "get over it"? That is like telling a kid with two broken legs to get over it and walk on them - If you do not have kind thoughts don't give them away.simple. Hanalara update please..Adam
cobra1uzfe 4 years ago
Anyway i went to a psychoanalyst for about 9 months and i really became better, by realizing worlds just a closed system, its some kind of choice wether you are a part of it or accept it by seperate THE world and YOURE world. a damn i cant tell the secret, anyway its different to everyone, so give hell...
hanalara i really like u, wether u didnt answer my message, but i think ure swamped by silly letters that say "hey ure fine.."
by the way i LOVE british accent,
stonedy (ger)
Part2
Stonedy 4 years ago
The story of ure mother's face cream touched me somehow. i was depressed for more than 2 years, and i had additional problems like daydreams of torching my classmates.. well i really like the way how hanalara shares, like i said i feel close to her. Part1
Stonedy 4 years ago
I am with you sister ! :'( I try to be strong
sarra247 4 years ago
Focus on thoughts that are happy they are much powerful then negative, what you need is to change your life drastically so your mind is focused on something constructive instead of something that is stagnate.
antoshahorosha 4 years ago
Why don't you just take some pills?!
angelroberts 4 years ago