Christopher Titus - Love Is Evol - Part 9/9

[firelilydragon]

How to know if your a good woman:

1. You hate the idea of wearing anything besides jeans or nothing

2. You hate shopping unless its for tattoos or movies

3. Dont mind making something in the kitchen for him since you're in there for yourself

4. Have many smartass comments

5. Working sex drive

6. A job

7. Never get jealous

8. Is okay with threesomes

Men if you find one who even fits half Get her now Be warned shell hate it if you get emotional or jealous because she probably has many guy friends

[ciaochowbella]

@firelilydragon Let's see.....

1-Half of that....I prefer skirts.

2-I'd rather be shot.....a lot.

3-As long as he returns the favor when he's in there, sure.

4-The wisdom of my ass is legend.

5-It works as long as his lasts longer than 3 minutes.....then mine goes on vacay in Cabo with naked college boys.

6-My jobs are sexy....yes, plural.

7-Jealous? Never. Territorial? Yeah.

8-Love threesomes.....got a hot brother?

And yes, most of my friends are dudes who will fuck you UP for me.

[mrupsicho]

@ciaochowbella Hi, I hope you didn't dislocate your elbow when you were patting yourself on the back.

[ciaochowbella]

@mrupsicho You're just jealous because you don't have a woman like me.

It's okay sweetie, I get that a lot.

[Smasho8000]

@ciaochowbella I want you! (:

[ciaochowbella]

@Smasho8000 Well, thanks!

I'm sure you're a catch!

[DragonoftheEastblu]

Awesome comedian and very wise. Btw what's the song at the end? The same one that opened up the show 

[xxImusic4lifeIxx]

@DragonoftheEastblu it is the intro to his show, "titus". sadly, it was cancelled. such a talented guy, who's seen the shit.

[VampireDemonQueen]

lol I love Titus

[sw204me]

God bless you Pandora for introducing me to this guy, and you too bawitdaba for uploading all these.

[sandmanhardstyle]

I love you Titus!

[mamimi2113]

I have found my ice cream truck!

Now it's my turn to make sure I'm his and it stays that way.

[TheAndreeaBit]

Thanks for posting this... I laughed sooo hard and thought so hard. We all deserve happiness and, once we got it...we shouldn't spoil it. Peace&Love.

[rasicar]

Every weekend it was 'fight time' on Saturday with my ex-wife. I understand all too well what he is talking about.

[EatMyLuckyCharmz]

Titus is the man.I lost my cool yrs ago when I became responsible and now I have hope...• lots of laughs•

[Dremux117]

I don't know whether to be excited to get into a relationship now, or terrified... but damn, it'll be something.

[rotteneggsalad]

that was so good! i sat here and watched part 1-9. i need to be better to my husband, thanks Titus!

[aubhilde14]

has found her ice cream truck! ♥

[Athenalovesyou1]

WHOS INSPECTOR 31!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? LMAO

[Athenalovesyou1]

WHOS INSPECTOR 31!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

[deathtrap507]

im clapping cuz this was amazing

[jeffrie9681]

sorry.. that was for @TMGVampHacker

[jeffrie9681]

@doodleschmit ... helium comedy club in philly nov 10-12

[cdabossman]

Titus is who I wana be when I grow up..maby a ginger, idk?

[TMGVampHacker]

this man has to perform in jersey or something. he is rediculously hilarious.

"you were concieved by the means of revenge sex. that sounds like christmas!"

[Doodleschmit]

This man is not only an amazing comedian, but almost a perfect actor, he has no uhs, ums, and doesnt stutter. just an amazing person.

[sephiroth21347]

@Doodleschmit unless its intentional. even when he stutters hes hilarious

[theragingjewishhippi]

Crazy my brothers and sisters, makes you crazy

[DarkpaladinEXE]

"I HAVE A DREAM, cause I lived a nightmare".

I can agree with that so much.

[dreamfairy573]

Never noticed he used the same music for his podcast.

[ACLEDFLOYD1995]

Maybe I'm retarded, but I didn't understand the whole joke involving the underwear and the sticker. Could someone explain it to me?

[Thellin]

@ACLEDFLOYD1995 The "Inspected by Number 31" sticker was stuck on his nuts. So his girlfriend said "they passed".

[MechanizeDragon]

i thank you arcade fox, for introducing me to this halarious comedian.

[FellDarkpaw]

Lol that's a good saying

I HAVE A DREAM

cause I lived a nightmare

Dude is a master!

[Johnicus]

I wonder how many people got left with the check

[7691yazan]

The one dislike is his ex-wife.

[crazedscotsman553]

Who is inspector 32?! Your sister, there, how do you feel now you bitch. At least i'm honest bitch.

[2kageromaru]

I love his inner retard voice. x)

[partipatil]

@2kageromaru He made me laugh so hard, I CRIED! Every! Single! Time!

[2kageromaru]

@partipatil O_O That's... scary. :P

[Silveryback]

Oh. My. God. NEVER watch this video when you're eating dinner and corn is involved! I have to go pick up all the little pieces from when I burst out laughing uncontrollably on the floor.

[rebelwithacause666]

@wr8y On the dvd's and on here it is usually on comedy central it's about an hour

[damaniac]

Could not stop laughing !!

What a great show.. Wish he made a tour in Europe!

[TheGMAT16]

Greaaaaaat show Titus your are the best love from Venezuela

[sevelev711]

They passed.

[gettinSC]

1 person is named "Kate"

[kexard]

pause at 0:54. huh?????

[kats938]

I feel so bad him having to go through 20 years of hell and then finally finding his ice cream truck.

[Sumthin432]

It means his balls passed the inspection because the sticker was on his balls!

[Sumthin432]

It means his balls passed the inspection cus the sticker was on his balls!

[supermanbooable]

whats inspected by #31 mean?

[Ajax3104558]

im right here baby lol

[SoCalGal14]

Where's my ice cream truck? :/

[ItsILLicit]

@SoCalGal14 haha dont worry, i dont have an ice cream truck either

[13BLACK13NINJA1313]

"Get up in about mintue in a half, and say 'I got to use the bathroom."

What they don't show: Every guy stands up and leaves.

[bloodyrednightmare]

have yall noticed everyone of theses 9 videos has at least 1 vote down...............i bet it is his crazy ex

[nirvana1393]

@bloodyrednightmare ask yourself, what did you do to get disliked?

[bubbareed2004]

@bloodyrednightmare lol, I bet it was his ex.....But I don't care, he is freaking fun, I laughed so hard, I cried

[HeRGaUrDiAn]

@bloodyrednightmare oddly that maybe true

[Vicioussama]

@bloodyrednightmare I'm amused this one has 420 likes too :P

[DarwinsMisfit]

@bloodyrednightmare yah it's his ex-wife

[ciaochowbella]

@bloodyrednightmare It's two now.....she had her best friend thumb it down too.....bitch.

[komedydude]

Christopher Titus is hilarious. I haven't seen him in awhile, and I'm very impressed.

[dallaswesley28]

Where is my damn ice cream truck?

[DamnedNations94]

@Francostrider amen to that haha

[42feenix]

happy for u titus that u finally found ur ice cream truck good luck dude

[Vixen92]

...4:06 Reg TIGERMAN. Three seconds later? Mike Tribble on cameras. And a bit later, AVALON ALVA. Some seriously crazy names here folks.

Also my ribs ache from laughing so damn hard.

[sweetna22]

I have found my ice cream truck, too

[Emac1310017]

Hour and a half well spent

[ilove666]

the end of this always brings the widest and happiest smile to my face

[Deringer81]

WHO THE HELL IS INSPECTOR 31 !?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[sawyerbabe16]

HAHAHAHAHA *DEEP BREATH* THEY PASSED!! ROFLMAO

[M19xSentiment]

I want an ice cream truck :(

[iBNinjafied]

Aw, he found his ice cream truck. :)

[FrancoStrider]

Every woman in the world should watch-- No, every guy too-- Actually, even your dog should watch this. If everyone watched this and listened, the world would be a better place.

[robthefirefly]

i got in my car and left...

[robthefirefly]

amazing... funniest love comedy every. so right about everything he said!!!

[Pj0tter]

Oh man I want an icecream truck!

[knotightul]

I wish I was sleeping with the T-mobile whore. Carly Foulkes is Hot!!!! (not a whore)

[Furrylove40]

Yeah, I have no reason to not be happy =)

[GreenGearMood]

Sorry, Chris. Those numbers you pointed out do nothing for the podunk condition of where I live. Girls worthwhile are either taken or don't want to be. >:I

[badflamer]

@GreenGearMood then just get in your car and drive and move on. or in other terms 'quit bein such a wussie!"

[GreenGearMood]

@badflamer Your short term solution doesn't exactly fit into a surviving condition.

[badflamer]

@GreenGearMood *sigh* why are you even listening to his comedy if you can't even read between the lines when someone gives you advice?

you know how long your life is gonna suck as much or worse than it does now? Exactly the same amount of time you take to sit around bitching about how much your life sucks and how the situation is unfavorable and how much the world is against you having a love life, instead of getting off your ass, going outside and DOING something about it.

[GreenGearMood]

@badflamer You veered far off the point.

/slap

[badflamer]

@GreenGearMood fuck you. you stay in front of the fan while the shit hits it if you want. You're just disgracing his show by posting your self pittying bullshit on this vid anyways.

Two camels in a tiny fucking car.

[GreenGearMood]

@badflamer Man, stop referencing Chris's jokes in a preachy context. Holy shit. 

[badflamer]

@GreenGearMood it's cuz you're not getting WHAT THEY MEAN!

you're complaining about EXACTLY the kind of shit he speaks AGAINST in his shows, completely missing the moral, the aseop, the entire POINT of his stories.

I'm not using jokes in a preachy way, the lines are already preaches only made in joke form! fucking IQ of 60 we've got here.

I think I'm starting to see the real reason why you're single mate.

[GreenGearMood]

@badflamer The last line of your comment is pure noise to the eyes. Everyone trolls everyone else the exact same way with this topic. Take that shit to the pawn shop.

[badflamer]

@GreenGearMood you know what? fuck this. you're not my friend, you don't deserve my sentiments or my explanations. You're just another one of the depressive masses who can't see that the only thing in their lives stopping them from getting what they want is themselves.

plus i already said it.

two cammels in a tiny fucking car.

peace.

[MiaDepRockRionII]

Thanks so much @bawitdaba123456 for uploading this

Thanks Mr.Titus for the revenge sex.

And that one dislike er we are not paying for therapy numbnuts.

[DeathEssence92]

lol anytime i need advise ima be watching his shows lol xD

[dk5388]

"if your bi sexual then there is no excuse for u being happy" hahaha so true

[backyardplayer]

One dislike...it's his ex again.

[hotkitty544]

@backyardplayer

lol i seriously think it might be.

[xXtheXmonsterXx]

Titus is awesome! This show's equal parts comedy and motivational speech.

Thanks for posting man

[note4note]

Easily one of my favourite comedians. Thanks for posting this. Now to track down his old TV show... :D

[Floetry30]

@note4note

super easy to do they are ALL on youtube

[XxHellsingrulzxX]

"Grab your stuff, get in your car, and DRIVE AWAY."

[ephemerax]

U have no idea how much I thank u for uploading it complete!! Awesome, thank you!!

[BrisMetalChic29]

this is absolutely classic. I love this guy! So effing hilarious. Thanks for posting!

[Bippilicious]

I absolutely love Christopher Titus. so hilarious

[cambridgeecon]

AMAZING. I haven't seen a performance as perfect as that since george carlin

[Blasted2Oblivion]

they passed. The funniest two words EVER!!!!

[cutepigs1234]

There's 3 billion men out there, and there's 3 billion women out there and if you're bisexual you have no EXCUSE to not be happy!

LOL.

[KeeperoftheVoid]

I can respect Titus he holds nothing back and he's not afraid to go there with his bits. This special is really a motivator wrapped in a big ass ball of funny. Going to find my ice cream truck and blast off to space.

[JJMixx66]

@DrAchO2: Then she is not your ice-cream truck. Which is a good thing, because she's living with Christopher Titus.

Titus clearly had an incredibly difficult and troubling childhood, and he has taken those experiences and transformed them into laughter, then shared them with the world. He's talented, and has an impressive gift.

And, oh God, I needed a laugh today! I LMAO'd.

[cmdrnmartin]

What was the music at the end, does anyone have a clip of that?

[Jac00b]

i feel so stupid. I JUST realized that Evol is Love backwards

[GerardRockMyWorld]

@Jac00b yeah me too.

[Belthazor24]

@Jac00b lmao

[Blue84Stang]

@Jac00b As Titus's inner retard would say... Way to go, that was extraordinary.... :p

[Jac00b]

@Blue84Stang Regardless of whether or not that was sarcastic i appreciated the reference and it made me laugh, lol

[Blue84Stang]

@Jac00b dont think it was sarcastic.... but then again, ive been listening to my inner retard alittle too much lately :p

[valkyriemaiden22]

"They passed." Laughed my ass off!

[Dravius710]

2:42 best part of the whole special. lol ^_^

[ilove666]

does anyone else get goose bumps when he starts his Martin Luther King dealy at 2:09?

[KoRnKrazed91]

what song is in the intro and the end?

[cullengirl4ever87]

LMFAO! this one was freakin funny and right on, that i cant believe it.! i love him. im taking his advice, im gonna find my "ice cream truck"!! of it can find me!

[rareram]

i just wanna know what the music at the very end is, chris is the best!

[Neshumurru]

I really wish Titus came out with a new special. It's 2011 Chris, where you at?!

[Xankar1]

@Neshumurru hes coming out with one this year, like, newrevelution or somthing

[Kaireg]

@Xankar1 Its called nevurlution iirc. Just read his wiki but I forget the exact spelling...

[jessyD3S]

aww i wish i could find my ice cream truck. lol

Titus is AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!! true fact xD

[jaboytee]

he deserves his own hour on comedy central every day lol

[MisqueKeira]

Whoo!! I love this guy :) Go Bisexual people! :D

[JCChasezlover645]

That was the most awesome way to end a comedy special.

[seshy88]

and if your bisexual you have no excuse to be unhappy!! lol i love this song too

[FailedElectrician]

Hilariousness to the max.

[IluvKirito]

"I have a dream, because I have lived a nightmare."

Wow. That's actually kinda deep. O.o; Way to go, Titus!

[kaibear123]

Loool they passed xD

[TheRhapsodian1911]

TITUS FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

[teddyrueckert2]

they passed? I don't get it... Yes, I've watched the full routine, but I just don't get it...

[croweandcsi]

@teddyrueckert2 He had the inspection sticker on him. His balls passed inspection.

[brandon221234]

@teddyrueckert2 his balls passed inspection (Retard Voice: Idiot)

[k87jury]

@teddyrueckert2

It took me a moment too. The sticker had been on the underwear, but while he was wearing them the sticker went from the undies to his balls. So when she looked there was a " Inspected by 31" sticker on his balls, as if his balls had been the object that was inspected.

[OutlawRebel117]

GOD BLESS CHRISTOPHER TITUS!!!!

[masterkayaki]

he reminds me of joel mchale

[rockyoursocks335]

Honestly one of the best comedians I've ever heard. Wish I had hist impecable timing. GO TITUS!

[doylebelin]

god...he's frickin' brilliant..and yet funny...many of us guys can learn from him! haha

[TalkingToMyWebcam]

click the CC button, click on transcribe audio. it makes the video x200 funnier

[shadowgarra360]

Titus may take over the comedy world!!!

[chadmc199289]

dude hes so fucking right about everything holy shit its scary!

[JustNateX]

@chadmc199289 but it's funny. lol

[TheNorthernDragon]

Titus is has ascended to the level of comedy of god.

[brandon221234]

@TheNorthernDragon amen to that one man

[UKGirl1214]

I have never agreed more with someone in my life!

[raven2513]

@UKGirl1214

I agree with ya UK if you can't find some humor in life and in a relationship then you dont need to be dating...and sure as hell dont need to be breeding o.o

[DrAchO2]

With her laughing at me like that. I wouldn't get freaked out I would be angry and annoyed.