Cr1TiKaL's Best Quotes Part 2

[ThePandaTime2]

What about "rub my nipples with sandpaper and beat ny weiner with nitroglycerin"?

[WindowFish28]

@ThePandaTime2 That was in the first one.

[Grandmachilly]

fapfapfapfapfapfap



[Jonnybowden0]

I was waiting awhile for my favourite quote: "It's like drinking the sweat of a turkey's ball sack" xD

[MrKingtony12]

*it

*while

Sorry made some typos

[MrKingtony12]

Hey queen. Ur an idiot. Cr1tikal is a fucking genius. If u find I'm unfunny ur a freaking piece of shit assmonkey. Go fuck urself and die in a hole will I fuck ur mom in her ass u piece of shit. Go watch something else ok. Dumbshit...

[kratos101ify]

This fish is about to pinch off a grumpy omfg lolololz

[ThePenguinz0]

>prank calls people

>plays this video into phone

[MsWoWBeauty]

LMAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAO . 

[HeyItsTegan]

Gingerbread Man (:

[soccer383]

Follow @Cr1tikalQuotes on twitter for daily nipple quotes!

[blazingking210]

3:50 what game is that???

[A5GRedwing666]

@blazingking210 Sumotori

[jeroro70]

- alright, I'm back just grabbed a ginger bread man, i got 99 problems and a snack aint 1- vest quote in history of the world

[XXXDeathbyfartsXXX1]

what happened to 7:39

[vEskim0]

What in the shit? Miltank.

CODE RED

CODE RED

We got nipples on the premise. 

[UnderCoverPope]

where did he get the gameplay here he's talking about the rubix cube? line stream?

[Trickkynickkable]

why the fuck did he stop his vids?

[Trickkynickkable]

@MissehKittehx33 yeah i heard the same i wasnt sure though

[MissehKittehx33]

@Trickkynickkable I heard he's better now, but he doesn't want to make videos or something. Just a rumor, probaly.

[ModernWarFare987]

@Trickkynickkable Calm down. They say his lungs blew or something like that.

[Ryno332]

@Trickkynickkable he did battlefield 3.

[Trickkynickkable]

@Ryno332 i saw i loved it!

[zeester0101]

@Trickkynickkable he had some sort of medical condition, but he is back now

[SmooveDoctor]

@Trickkynickkable His lungs collapsed, but he made a Battlefield 3 video

[TheSomethingIsh]

How the fuck could he play the rubix cube while playing cod?

this man has 3 fucking hands...

fucking genius.

[Soganite]

@TheSomethingIsh he doesn't comment while hes playing on all his videos, sometimes hell kinda 'review' them, you can tell when he is by the way he talks in them, like he nos whats gonna happen so hell explain it.

[MrDylanshilts]

"My Nipples are doing Front flips" - Best Cr1Tikal Line Ever?

[JeremyGilbert]

what game is at 3:38?

[Soganite]

@JeremyGilbert its  Sumotori.

[littleblueclovers]

what game is 7:05?

[JoesleeAndron4]

@littleblueclovers Black ops, Derp.

[Dravkoja]

Cr1tikal is best in the world!!! dont feed trolls like that Queen whore douche

[poopypantsoo1]

Hey queen nobody gives a fuck About you and you act gay at you're school cause you're a fag so shut the fuck up

[Requ1escat1nPACE]

@deanml116 well done on the sick puppies comment. Well done sir.

[Requ1escat1nPACE]

To say Cr1TiKaL isn't funny. That's just blasphemy to the entire human race. Fucking heretic.

[RaikRhythm]

"A seductive pump thrust with four nipples"

Dude I am never playing Pokemon Stadium the same way again

[PinkyPan12]

To TheQueenIsAWhore.....They left. Whom you may ask? The people that gave a shit.

[lazzyfrog94]

Should have shown ninja turtle emblem

[SOGlord]

1:13 Why the fuck are you using second chance?!

[xjavojuice]

i bought black ops, again, just to do cr1takals fun tactics

[streetsurfr1]

back when cr1tikal was funny...

[DaDaCaTac]

I watched this from the toilet, just in case !!!

[Deadpool5594]

what the shit stain is this? ahahaha

[Wiggzzzzz]

I made this up when i was slapping my nipples trying to get them to talk to me

[MexiDutchProductions]

"I got 99 problems, but a snack ain't one of em" *crunch crunch lip smack munch*

[JanieisADBBDBA]

It's 10 times funnier if you close your eyes and just listen. XDDD

[MASTERCHIEF132745]

He flobbered them titties

[5MRORANGE]

i like to cut da arms and da head off of all da manakins in dat lvl

[FaTaLLBLoW69]

aha has anyone noticed that he started his random commentary talking about fish and then ends talking about fish xD

[tostermaster0501]

THE FISH IS PINCHING A GRUMPIE!

[AnnoyingBird100]

You forgot "This is like taking a bar of soap, and making it fight a medieval dragon. This is just unfair.".

[taytay3087]

no john madden joke?



[doei123]

"Now I've done some stupid shit in my life, like directing Barnyard, pornography and shaving my asshole..." ROFL

[radioguysbrother]

6:13 that was the scene of my 1st Cr1tikal video. Watched them scence

[xGoDxHuNtEr]

you missed "YEAH, FLYING NIPPLES!! AWHHH FUCK" gotta be the best quote

[TerraceArchimedes]

LOL Cr1tikal is one of the funniest commentators I've ever heard!

[SquareKiteGaming]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Oh, you just wait until the fanboys come

[WstelandMerc07]

@SquareKiteGaming arrived. fuck that guy.

[SHOTOKAN1ASSASSIN]

@TheQueenIsAWhore obviously you have no sense of humor

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@SHOTOKAN1ASSASSIN Are you fucking kidding me?! HAHAHA!!! This narcissistic fuck stumbles on simple comedic tasks such as ranting nonstop about an outdated game. If he can't accomplish what his dumb, stuttering ass is trying to achieve, he shouldn't do it. End of discussion.

[SHOTOKAN1ASSASSIN]

@TheQueenIsAWhore so since u think that ur the smartest person here.... what is he trying to accomplish then??? because he's just doing it for the fun of it posting these videos... and i bet ur 1 of the people that try to advertise ur channel on his comment section in his old videos... i remember that on 1 of his MW2 videos.... i just think ur hating because he's doing better than u are in this business

[fronkonschteen]

@TheQueenIsAWhore you sir can suck my balls. Cr2tikals hard nipples have higher intelligens then you (then all of us) go and bother someone els with your bullcrap.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@fronkonschteen If his nipples have any sense of a mentality I would recommend a doctor. This pretentious prick isn't nearly as intelligent as you fanboy self claims. He has the humor of a 8 year old fat kid that thinks farts are funny. I can picture this guy, alone and unattractive, living in a repulsive and grotesque setting. If he seriously thinks he's funny, the only thing that's going to help his pathetic life is a beheading. Go suck his dick with compliments and drink drano, kid. GTFO.

[fronkonschteen]

@TheQueenIsAWhore LOL. you think this guy is an 8 year old. i checked your profile. faggot boi. never say never, justin bieber and comment suited for an 6 year old. go back to jacking off. internet is not for you. AND: TheQueenIsAWhore. WTF. you think your funny now stupid fuck. in gonna void ray your hatchery so hard, kerregans gonna feel it

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@fronkonschteen Are you fucking kidding me? Lol. Dude. I put all that shit down so you would THINK I was a faggot. Why? Because I don't give a fuck what people think of me. You clearly don't get TheQueenIsAWhore because you're immensely moronic. Justin Bieber? Yo, that guy is the shit. I'm a mawfackin' belieber!

[CassieBeckyShow]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Your clearly taking offense to what everyone is saying to you so don't say you careee. Obviously you do cause your taking your sweet time talking back :)

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@fronkonschteen ... LOL SWEDEN.

[fronkonschteen]

@TheQueenIsAWhore haha, so you are a child. i knew it. stop talking shit. look at one of his videos and dont laught. you cant. but he can, thats the awesome part. oh so your a terran. im gonna carrier you so hard. the midwest can fell it. (IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR)

/¯¯/_o___o___o___o____o__

BLLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGH­HH­­­HH!!!!

\__\¯¯o¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@fronkonschteen I guess this is comedy if you're American and fat...

[fronkonschteen]

@TheQueenIsAWhore lol and you are american. lol. i would guess fat too. lol. And hey: easy on the burgers. they are gonna end you pretty fast you know

[TheNBDStudios]

@TheQueenIsAWhore so wait... you get mad at people for calling you gay cause you say its offensive, but your first comment was you saying Cr1TiKaL was a faggot. hypocrite.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@TheNBDStudios Hmm? No, I find it hilarious when people call me gay. In fact, I act gay at school to make all the bigots uncomfortable. I'm just comfortable with my sexual orientation and if they want to have a laugh about it, go ahead. I'm just saying, you can hear this guy fuck up on his... "comedy" when he pauses then starts cussing randomly. He's not funny. He's the worst type of person when it comes to the topic. The kid that thinks he's funny so he tries to be something he's not. Faggot :D

[TheNBDStudios]

@TheQueenIsAWhore you just proved me right again. you can't insult someone with something you say is ok to do.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@TheNBDStudios I can't?

[radioguysbrother]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Your a Faggot

[deathbyjypsy]

@TheQueenIsAWhore You were probably born on a highway, cause thats where most accidents tend to happen.

[RaynaRockcandy]

@TheQueenIsAWhore

You Are A Faggot <3 Boom . Roasted.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@RaynaRockcandy Hey now... There is no need to hate on gays. Have some respect for people with a different sexual preference, please. :D

[juiceactionhammer]

@TheQueenIsAWhore ur a faggot hes funny as shit

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@juiceactionhammer Cussing = Comedic genius? I think not, sir.

[NoodlesKiller95]

@TheQueenIsAWhore There are many different kinds of "Funny", my good Man. The fact that you can't understand/like this kind of funny is your opinion and your opinion alone. No need to go calling people "Faggots". It's rude. Besides, why the hell are you watching this if you don't like it? Do you think people really care about your "opinion"? (If you can even call naming someone a "faggot" and opinion.)

[juiceactionhammer]

@TheQueenIsAWhore what



[GUNFIRE1997]

@TheQueenIsAWhore your a slut

[taytay3087]

@TheQueenIsAWhore

he has more views than you.

[MrBanjoman32]

@TheQueenIsAWhore =D does he care? prob not

[deanml116]

@TheQueenIsAWhore You listen to the Sick Puppies, so any comments from you hold no credibility whatsoever. Shittiest lyrics I've ever heard from any band.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@deanml116 You haven't heard ICP... Have you?

[deanml116]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Yep, and "Odd One" rivals the shittiness of the lyrics in ICP's songs with ease. I can make songs with only two guitar chords too. Do I want to? No..

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@deanml116 Simple is better, sir. If you want to listen to the shit I have on my playlist for vidia games, try Here Comes The Kraken - Don't Fail Me Darko. Try that.

[BillBoardIII]

lol @ this:

"Simple is better"

Sure, if you're not very bright. So this dude comes in to call the Critical guy a fag and mock everyone's sense of humor, all the while listening to thoroughly terrible music, defending actual fags, and playing terrible games lol.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@BillBoardIII You're not very intelligent if you find this over-developed cum shot to be funny. You're either:

A - A lonely man, 40-50 trying to hold on to what's left of his masculinity by laughing and hysterically defending fart jokes.

OR

B - A 5-12 year old fat kid.

[BillBoardIII]

Who's defending fart jokes? They're not good humor, they get old fast, but they're funny on rare occasions, or with proper delivery, just like rap music is good on rare occasions, just like people are smart on rare occasions, just like modern art isn't shit on rare occasions, etc.

I'm just making fun of you - someone with bad taste claiming to be above everyone else. You're not even good at insulting people. Can you say the word "pretentious"?

[KrankyBIAS]

@BillBoardIII Can you say the word "pretentious"?

The irony is strong in this one...

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@deanml116 Simple is better, sir. If you want to listen to the shit I have on my playlist for vidia games, try Here Comes The Kraken - Don't Fail Me Darko. Try that.

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@deanml116 Simple is better, sir. If you want to listen to the shit I have on my playlist for vidia games, try Here Comes The Kraken - Don't Fail Me Darko. Try that.

[HerFinalSummer]

@TheQueenIsAWhore I only love you cause you mentioned Here Comes The Kraken.

[xXelmarcoCFCXx]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Because he has talent and you have none meaning you're jealous?

[smigglebroz]

@TheQueenIsAWhore ypu suck dickhead



[smigglebroz]

@TheQueenIsAWhore you suck dickhead

[sk8forlife782]

@TheQueenIsAWhore i bet you regret posting that comment

[soraroxas61988]

@TheQueenIsAWhore o HELLZ no!

[MegaStefs]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Hey.... fuck you!

[dalladeien]

@TheQueenIsAWhore Are you man anough to give me your adress?

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@dalladeien 2044 W. Latah, Boise, ID

[Hyru7]

@TheQueenIsAWhore

Question. After looking at the comment you posted now and your first comment on this video, you've been going at it with a good number of people for.... Oh about 2 months now. Why are you still here?

[TheQueenIsAWhore]

@Hyru7 Because anytime people comment on my 2 month old comment I get a notification. I always check mah notes.

[foxdeamo]

just clobbered those titties!XD

[DrPhatcapper]

THUMBS UP IF YOU WANT Cr1tikal TO DO A VIDEO OF HIS ACTUAL PHYSICAL FACE . . . . . :D

[TheBobitoman]

i remember seeing his qwop video but didn't realize it was the same guy on the team noble channel lol, halarious guy

[ChAoTiiKClanGaming]

What the shitstain.

[NSBSaix]

This...QWOP, codename the robots asshole

[rofltodeath0121]

LOL you solve the rubix cube by layers not faces and U R HILARIOUS!!!

[fluxulation]

99 problems but a snack ain't one

[trisrock226]

couldnt, stop lauphing

[guitargod874]

BOOM

yeah i just FLOBBERED those titties!

lol

[ghiman100]

im crying with laughter.

[maplegamecube]

my ribs hurt now. E.T was so funny

[ubtrollin89]

201 comment bitches!!!!

[comagnum1]

His rant about the phone during the ET clip made me laugh my ass off

[bradhenry274]

what game is at 4:25

[DrCameltoe]

@bradhenry274 Amnesia

[ant314159265]

Listening to this guy eat a gingerbread cookie made me laugh...

[BadKid5thst]

i lol'd



[Bornkilla174]

"Rubbing my wiener with uncomfortable lubrication." Epicfuckingwin

[JDBGaming13]

the only reason he doesnt talk to the people online because he knows they will crap out there nipples listening to him

[volsrock49]

You missed the best one!

"WHAT, IN THE SHIT STAIN, OF THE ASS HOLE MARKED WITH NIPPLE MILK!!!"

From the Kino der Toten zombies episode

[2RobVanDam776]

I like ELPRESADOR Better, cause Cr1tikals jokes get old, but ELPRESADOR and Cr1tikal should do a dual com.

[blickluke]

5:30 what game is it?

[TheKittyMcfartface]

@blickluke halo\

[blickluke]

@TheKittyMcfartface is it Reach?

[Clayton11789]

@blickluke Halo: Reach

[Morbuzka]

What game is at 3:36 ???

[xProtoman69]

@Morbuzka Sumotori bro..

[Stupefyied]

no ive done some stupid shit in my life like directing barnyard pornagraphy... LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ghfellan94]

4:50 made lol so fucking hard xD

This guy is a genious xD

What's the name of the original uploader? :P

[plople11]

@ghfellan94 penguinz0

[808serendipity]

I want him to play Call of the dead!

[Wwefan85698]

Lol "I don't know what the fuck I did here I was slapping my nipples to make them talk to me" LMFAO

[axuello]

He needs to replace the commentators for professional golf.

[tibbo87]

@axuello Hahaha, that would be amazing, Asshole in one!

[JoserRocksDawg]

i got 99 problems but a snack aint one.

[MrKodak5231]

what episode does he say "if I had six fingers on one hand, I would slap the shit out of a gopher"?

[erjamesl]

cr1tikal would be a millionaire if he made his own t-shirt company that have his quotes on them

[ARCANEOS51OX]

WE WANT TO SEE THIS MANS FACE !

[NitnatsnokBugolos]

What game is at 5:40?

[Gliches507]

halo 3

[NitnatsnokBugolos]

@Gliches507 I can't rememeber that weird monster thing though..

[lippychapped]

@NitnatsnokBugolos its halo: reach i think

[flybirdefly]

@NitnatsnokBugolos its halo:reach towords the begenning (2-3 level)

[WowFreak981]

@NitnatsnokBugolos Halo

[xSn34kyJew]

@NitnatsnokBugolos Halo Reach :D

[lippychapped]

you shouldve included the part when Cr1TiKaL flies off the edge in sumotori.

[P2daG11]

he needs to commentate grass growing

[GlitchMasta]

I wanna be roommates with Cr1TiKaL

[ricardorochaharo]

Part 3? Please. :D

[dansing763]

Cr1tikal should commentate NASCAR races.

[Debilugaujos]

i would love to see his face :D

no one saw his face :D

[legoman9330]

Never watch him when your drinking pop.

[deadshot1995]

you forgot the one from the snowboarding game where he messes up and is like, "Oh shit you've got to be pouring assjuice down the throat of an unwilling zebra."

[purplepason]

Torrent sumitori NGPlayer. No viruses in it. listento me been torrenting for years

[boatshift]

4:30 wat games that

[TrdGfx]

@boatshift Amnesia: The Dark Descent i believe.

[CHURCHTUCKERCABOOSE]

what video is 1:56 from? i've never seen it

[MicroOrginisum]

i love this guyXD

[Killerkaktus1]

i liked the vid even before it started just because it says CR1TICAL!!!!!!