2 out of 10 girls...1 out of 10 boys are victims of a sexual abuser

[3mlan]

I was molested at the age of 9 (it didn't go that far before my parents found out who he was, but still, extremely unpleasant) and I'm straight. And I have friends who are gay that haven't been molested. So sexual abuse making you gay is just bull. Like you said. You're right, again:) You go girl!!:)

[southerncharma]

Thanks for posting this. I'm a social worker. I worked with kids for a long time and chose to work with the elderly primarily because...well it was just too much. It seemed like every other child I worked with had been abused in some way. I started having dreams where I was kicking rapists asses and sometimes killing them. I do believe the more we talk about this issue...to kids, our friends, colleagues, family members the less taboo the subject will be. Again, thank you for your courage.

[MikroBadass]

you're very brave, thank you sincerely for telling us your story

what is your advice on educating children about sex offenders and possible abduction scenarios?

[FluffyMittensOfDoom]

I dont know anyone (in person) that was sexualy abused and I havent been either (Its a big thanx to my parents for being over-protective, no-matter how much i hate it sometimes but it kept me safe for 15 years now ) but this has realy opened my eyes! Its makes me angry and scared at the same time... these kind of people should suffer realy badly...

[StephStance]

you are a very lucky person

[FluffyMittensOfDoom]

@StephStance

I know but it realy makes me sad that all people cant be as lucky as me because from the stories I hear... its quite a traumatizing experience and it upsets to know that people have to go through something so horrible.

[lovebugg1986]

I'm afraid to tell my mom? Scared it will hurt her that I didn't tell her 17 years ago!

[mcrmaiden]

That's EXACTLY how I felt.....I did it though, and it felt good to let it out and have her to talk to.

[MikroBadass]

please don't be afraid, it's kind of a process...

I told my own father after 15 years of silence

[wonderwoman27229]

Keeping the secret allows the molestor to keep doing it.

I was abused by a family member who molested his own children, then his grandchildren & died an honored veteran & valued member of this community. It made me sick to my stomach to see so many crying over such a sick man (and my whole family knew what he really was. It was a very open family secret & it was accepted by everyone. I believe when it happens within a family, there is a tendency to lay the blame at the victim's feet.

[7KC9]

My abuser was never brought to justice, never had to register, nothing. He passed away earlier this year, which brought some comfort to me that he can never hurt another child, but it didnt change what he did to me, the pain is still there, even after 20 yrs. What happened changed me and my brothers lives, he took our innocence and robbed us of our childhood. We will never be "normal" because of it and him. Hes in Gods hands now, may He have mercy on his soul....

[PennyMercer]

im pretty speechless tbh but what i do wanna say is kudos for not just doing this video but actually putting it up. Your helping alot of people by doing so.

[bluestreak4]

The crux to the whole thing is the only people you really trust are family members. They are the people in the world that we know our whole lives. When that trust is broken it changes us. So Steph it doesn't make who you are, but it does have an impact on your psyche. The strength you seem to possess is amazing and I hope it is your way of healing. I am in awe of you.

Take care and be safe out there.

[GeminiAuntie]

Thanks for sharing Steph! I myself have been molested a few times in my life and am finally coming to terms with it. It's not an easy story to tell so I give you props for having the courage to be a voice for those who have been molested and are too afraid to tell about it. I'm staring to come to terms with what happened to me, but at times it gets hard to think about. This video has been an encouragement. Thanks for sharing. God Bless!

[WearyHag]

Steph ... proud of you for sharing ... and I appreciate your need for release after all this time. Thanks for trusting us all to lay it on the line in here...

You're right about the relative-thang... it's still so hooga-booga that it's swept under the carpet ...like the way people used to talk about cancer in whispers back there up till around the late 60s.

You're one of the strongest women I've seen on here. Go you, baby.

[HaleyMary]

Sorry that happened to you, Steph. :(

I had two cousins who were molested in the 1980s. Possibly a third was molested as well. Two of them committed suicide, the other is alive, but to this day won't let her own children anywhere near her step father while they are alone. It's a scary world out there. I didn't know the statistics were 2 out of ten for girls and one out of ten for boys. That's startling.

[NiteBlogger]

Steph - you are so right - we need to stop burying our heads in the sand with this issue...

I hope you don't mind - I'm featuring your vid on my channel.

(((HUGS)))

[NiteBlogger]

Steph - I know this took a lot of courage for you to do, but perhaps your message will help some kid(s) somewhere...and make PARENTS more aware.

If I could I would come over & give you the biggest hug evra!

I know this is hard, because I was one of those children, and no dot for him either. The worst of it was not being believed (by my mother) he was such a 'good' man & upstanding citizen - parents - listen, watch AND PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN. Red dot or no read dot.

[twister7boy]

huh? so true. this 28 year old guy and his friend 21 tried to do that to my sis and her friends when she was 13 and her friend was 14 i think at the time. the older guy was convicted 3 times before this. its scary. they tried to get them drunk to do these things. then stalked her for weeks after that. after i meet up with him that was the last time he did anything. i think he got my point. i almost died because i herd the whole thing going down on the cell phone. peace. gregg

[mysteryglo]

I was molested when I was 10 and my molester wasn't a red dot either.. I agree with you that there are tons of them out there that aren't registered or even known about!

[sparkle1974]

... and i love you.

[sugarandlance]

I get emails when an offender moves near my sisters house and I tell her about it. The numbers are a lot, but still a lot arn't talked about.

[cynthiarf]

so true beyond most ppls belief...esp those who have never experienced it, esp when it happens so close to home

we need to start teaching childrn ANYONE can hurt you and NO ONE has the right to - especially 'family'

thanks for sharing!!

[xxSilverBlood13xx]

This is an excellent point and should be brought to the attention of more people both male and female, parents and children. I was raped when I was seven years old by my grandmothers neighbor and his brother. So I hope we can keep spreading awareness about this hushed subject and I hope we can advise more people to be careful with who they entrust to watch over there children. Keep Spreading the word.

[benzone50]

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you Steph. You have been very brave in sharing this with us.

I honestly do not know what I would do if I learned my son had been sexually abused.

[Mysticblue1212]

Thank you Steph for being brave and shareing something so personal. It could save another kid from being victimized.

[PolarB36]

Statistics are much higher- 1 out of 3 girls & 1 out of seven boys are sexually molested or abused by the time they reach 18. I am an abuse survivor - my perpetrators were never reported or prosecuted. Many others I know never reported their abuse either so you are so right in saying there are many many more perps lurking out there. We have to teach our kids to speak up & report any instances of inappropriate contact & educate adults in what to look for to keep kids safe to stop all abuse.

[gabslake]

There should be a tshirt that states some molesters don't have red dots

[gabslake]

That is why your gay because you were molested....im so glad you said there are many striaght people who molested....

[Nattuglen25]

you are a brave woman, thank you for sharing.

sending hugs to you

[gratusa]

Well done Steph. As always always pushing the main issues. I think that this experience has made you the person you are today. It has an effect, but yes I agree with you that it isn't an automatic freefall to becoming gay person.

[lisacole690]

xoxo

[thenudo]

Took ALOT of courage to come forward with this Steph! I have always known you to be a strong woman and this only makes you stronger in my eyes. I have friends who were molested - The 'being molested must mean your gay' idealology is just fucking ignorant - brought about by ignorant people. I am sending you a pm now.

[tree1309]

Steph, I know that took all the courage you could muster bealive me I Know.Alot of the reason why there not turned in is by the time the victum comes forth it's too late, I don't think there should be a limt b/c it affect our everyday lives, b/c you wonder in the back of your mind am i there only one i was 16 when i came forth on what happend to me when i was 4 and the 1st thing i was told was that they were practicing. It hurt and thats why it affect my every day life. Thanks 4making this video

[XrotarebiL]

5 stars for having the courage to admit this and opening the way for others to talk about this serious issue.

[LEZFORLOVE]

A sex offender will always be a sex offender. Molesting a child is a sickness and should be addressed with a counselor. That molester should realize what they take from a child will always bear a great burden on the child's mental health. For all the molesters that are not reported will eventually see the sham. As a woman I totally understand what you went threw. Your not alone!

[notUrsButMine]

I love you!

[sunsetlover]

wow steph, you are so brave *hug* I still can't talk about it

[qiranger]

thank you so much for sharing this. It's powerful information that everyone needs to hear.

[WhiteBlackMan11]

Molesting little boys and girls is sick!

[anmoose]

Thanks for sharing this bit of personal insight, Steph. Yes, I'm sure it's difficult putting it in front of the public eye, but you've raised the awareness of those of us who know and care about you, and we can hope that you'll reach other people who need to know, as well.

I've seen some of the lists, and charts, and the dots, and they're frightening enough as they are. To think that they're half, a third, maybe a quarter of what's really out there is mind boggling. But there's no doubt.

[capergirl1976]

I have no experience with this but I do think that every one of us have a responsibility to protect all children. Childrens voices needs to be heard when they are being abused. *HUGS*

[orionpk]

takes lots of guts to say this on the internet, i have nothing to say, but showing respect with silence

[veolettina]

I think child abuses are terrible, I nor my family has never been abused, but I was on a bus and a restaurant around here a couple of times, and seen little girls who looked like women, and a little boy with a man caressing him, and I cd not believe it, I wanted to get up a scream "What are you doing!", but all the people were looking the other way, these were European people, personally I am sickened to what is happening to my city, I remember it as so vibrant and good. Take care, Jackie xo

[lnqKrum]

The worst ones are those smiling,kind and generous fakes.They wiggle their way in.

[Goobian]

I agree with you about who aren't registered. I think a lot of people fantasize about molesting but they know it's wrong so they keep it to themselves. I know that from personal experience. I think we are becoming more educated about it as a society so that is getting better as far as people being open and honest and reporting people and prosecuting the right people.

When I was 10 I was a victim of what is called child on child molestation, I did a vid about it last year.

[thizizliz]

I think that's still the case - in the interest of family, people mistakenly cover it up and don't turn in the molester. They blame the kid. The more people you get to know, the more you learn how very high the percentage is. Many families have a 'funny uncle' and don't do enough to keep the kids away. It's heartbreaking because now the kid has been let down twice; once by the molester and once by the family. Blame the victim again. It's wrong!

[edenbainbridge]

xoexo

[amyray1111]

I have a question, my dad is 65 years old, and since i was 12(im 15 now) he's told me "you can walk around naked if you want to" or "take off your pants you don't need them" and says that kind of stuff to me and my sister. the thing is im not sure if it's right for my mom to pass it off as just being "an old german guy and that's the way he is."hes not a child molester but these comments are inappropriate and make me feel uncomfortable. i'm just wondering its ok for him to say these things?

[robertantonnyc]

that's a powerful testimony.

[darlynn12]

Steph thank you so much for sharing this, i know i could have never been brave enough to make this very important point.

The person that abused me when i was 11 has no red dot either. and your right it did not make me who i am, i knew i was a lesbian way before he did that to me. hugs

[shadow6326]

Steph! I know it took a lot for you to share this..and you are correct..the red dots we see aren't all there is..as you said, family members, friends and neighbors don't get turned in..but they are out there and we should all be aware..

Thanks for sharing!!

[Rh1no1]

I think you make a VERY valid point here. I cannot believe or understand why a grownup's sexual whims are more important than a child's well-being.

I definitely feel disgust for those who abuse children in any form. It saddens me what SOME people can do to a child's innocence. I've nearly given up on asking "Why?".

[jrt31169]

Steph, I think these numbers are drastically misrepresented. I know, not from personal experience, but from the experiences of my wife, that many many times these things go undocumented. It is a sad situation and something NO ONE should EVER have to deal with.

I will stop before my blood gets to boiling anymore than it already is.

[106harlem232]

Listening to ur vlog brought back memories, but not pain . I am also an incest survivor.(paused after typing that last sentence)

I personally felt like I was being victimized all over again, when those I told DID NOT believe me. I thank God for my faith n good counselors, that hv helped me to rise from victim to survivor.

Thank u for sharing ur story. Cuz so many survivors often feel like they r the only one, until they hear someone else say it also happened to them.

[javgirl]

that's exactly right, steph

the red dots aren't the ones most of us need to be concerned with

it's the ones that didn't get dotted

[liveinmymusic]

ive already learned skeptism is a good weapon. but also sad ;[

[liveinmymusic]

i truely respect ur honestly. very strong. u said that this doesnt make u who u r...if u dont let it. im only 15 but i struggle with something sexually similar. something i dont understand completely. only within myself. trapped. still. but that must change ofcourse

[korisx]

What is your opinion in regards to the equal marriage for gays?

In regards to your video, I believe that sexual predators are the responsibility of the community which they come from, just as the victims. In Australia there is an offender being bounced around the place because they don't know what to do with him. They can't keep doing that forever.

I was abused when I was younger, by women and one man. I made my peace, I hope others out there can do the same.

[DebUSA]

HUGS

[GreatGig1]

xoxoxoxo

[jenene84]

thanks so much for sharing that part of your life, and for reminding me why i talk to my little cusins and why i'm so portective of them. thank you!

[gearhead291]

i know how it is sheph, trust me.

we need to do something about all the unregistered people.

[Bikermom69]

I love you! I miss our chats :)

[GeorgiaBoy77]

You're Awesome!

[longhairred]

♥

[jtold322]

Unfortunately most mothers are unaware that this is going on with their children.They refuse to look at what is right in front of them.

[fishy7fishy]

Thank you for being so honest... Ive understand.. i really do. And no I dont think that that made yo nor I gay.

[FatWagar]

Thank you so much for talking about this. You have great courage and strength and I know that from my own demons. Thank you for your honesty.