Added: 5 years ago
From: misterdeity
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  • I think this video is damaged or something like that. All I see is a green "pixelated" screen :(

    BTW: Sorry for my grammar mistakes. I'm still learning English :P

  • @Ecragi Hmmm. It's working fine for me.

  • @misterdeity Don't pay attention to this asshole; he's just trying to get some thumbs up. That's all...

  • "I think it's sweet that people think of me." lol

  • Brilliant! "I got a plan and I'm staying the course..."

  • "He said, 'help me find my puppy' not 'help me find it alive'..."

  • "He said, 'help me find my puppy' not 'help me find it alive'..."

  • LOL. Nice writing. Love the Judy Blume reference on the answering machine heh.

  • Haha, I love this one =D

  • "Dear lord, thank you for this food" Just spam

  • lol this is so sarcastically fuckin awesome

  • "There's just no incentive." hahahaha!!!

  • "ah, breaks your heart. ...beep mssg erased" I laughed so hard a tear came to my eye.

  • @cararacs I never meant to hurt anyone.

  • but, you know, I got a plan and I'm staying the course... hmm, now, I wonder why does that sound familiar...

  • @LunaticFringe20

    I'm pretty sure there's a passage in the Bible that sounds disturbingly similar to Communism. Perhaps that's where Karl Marx got the whole "to each according to his need" idea from.

  • Is the music original? Who's being recorded?

  • @JohnDoeBand1 Yes. I write and produce all the music myself.

  • @misterdeity thats awesome! I think its the perfect touch to the show

  • @misterdeity Aha! I drew the right conclusion from the instruments in the background. :)

  • Ha, "They always assume I'm Republican. What would God be politically anyway? Machiavellean?

  • very humorous. I love it!

  • "They always assume I'm republican..."

    "Yeah, I get that too..."

    "I did like Ronnie though.."

    Oh Mr Deity, I "worship" you! LOL!

  • satan's work at its best. congratulations.

  • HILARIOUS!!

    So much Spam :)

  • I never realized how hot Jesus was. I wouldn't mind worshiping him after all.

  • @GodlessGirI

    hung like a horse too

  • I prayed for a healthy bowel movement, and god delivered. Does that make him a fudge packer?

  • I always did wonder what the point of praying over dinner was supposed to be. It certainly never improved anyone's cooking, and it always seemed kind of insulting for someone else to be getting thanked for the meal the cook made. Should we also thank Henry Ford every time we start our cars?

  • @wunwuntew I've never said that nature is wonderful. I agree with Darwin who wrote, "What a book a devil's chaplain might write on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low, and horribly cruel work of nature!" I just find it more reasonable (and comforting?) to believe that there's no all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving being behind all that blundering cruelty. But if there is, He'd have to be like Mr. Deity.

    P.S.: The stoopid [sic] people can't spell either.

  • @misterdeity Or like Neil Gaiman's version of Yahweh.

  • @misterdeity who plays the spirit?

  • @misterdeity One of the best replies I ever read here.

  • @wunwuntew *Facepalm*

  • @Mardezaar Okay I'll say this ONCE and if you don't get it then you're missing something that I'm afraid I just can't help you with: Science is wrong at least as much as it's right. For instance the Theory of Gravity. I'm looking out my window right now at a really huge mountain with LOTS of "gravity" and I don't see one single person orbiting around it. Not even a squirrel. Gee I sure hope I spelled all the words right.

  • @wunwuntew I think you should go back to school, little one. Clearly you are oblivious to the obvious, and ignorant towards the truth. Continue believing your fallable fairy tales all you want. At least science is provable and observable.

  • @Mardezaar and @ anybody else who might be concerned ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) . I hope that's enough because we all have better things to do. I know that's the case with me, at least. Apologies all around if anyone thinks their owed, absolutely no harm intended but I'll just say I'm satisfied "Poe's Law" does seem pretty much immutable. Didn't exactly realize I was challenging it but some just have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. So "Uncle" as they say, and take care.

  • @wunwuntew

    Hence the problem with trying to distinguish a poe....it's far too fucking hard to distinguish between the Poe and the person whose *actually* battier than a belfry. I, personally, cant poe. Not because I dont know what the other side will say [hell, I can debate myself], but because i say plainly on my YT user page that Im one of the godless heathen masses, trying, in earnest, to destroy god because I hate him :p Damn my honesty!

  • @wunwuntew Clearly you dont know what is meant to orbit. The moon is orbiting around the mountain you mentioned. the moon, people and everything else on earth

  • @wunwuntew hahahaha you are clearly a physics major sir

  • @socaldownhill "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."--Vonnegut ;)

  • @wunwuntew

    May I reply to that? I personally believe Nature is specularly and wonderful and stuff, that's why I study science. I think the whole creation stories diminish the beauty of the world we live in. There are different stances on this, and this is mine.

  • @narutofan9999

    I agree. I've never understood why people need something immaterial in order to gain spiritual satisfaction. I've listened to people describe the "spiritual joy" they get from "hearing God," and frankly, it sounds just like the feeling I get just by taking my shoes off and running barefoot down the beach or through a park. Nature is a beautiful, amazing thing to behold, and I feel like people diminish its value by trying to credit God with it's existence.

  • @wunwuntew you know you're wrong when @misterdeity cuts you down

  • are most of the posts on this vid from misterdeity and keilxkey2255? Because if so, this must go on for a *delete* I figured he must've been an evolutionist. Couldn't have done all the work in seven days. Much more efficient to let the creations do the work, give him all the credit and none of the *delete* @misterdeity Don't treat the posts on here the way you treat voice messages or knee-mail, because then we'll quit getting a laugh out of some of them.

  • @NoNamesLeft0102 LOL. Delete! ;-)

  • I usually love Mr. Deity, but this is more cynical and...went where it shouldn't have gone...

  • @keilxkey2255 More cynical? More cynical than people who believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God who allows people's prayers to go unheard? Really? Millions died during the Holocaust praying to this being to save them -- children, mothers, fathers, etc... and got no reply as they were lead to the gas chambers. This is not cynical. It's the truth -- if there's anyone up there to whom we're actually praying. If so, he has a plan and he's sticking to it.

  • @misterdeity

    You believe it, that's no doubt, but it's not the truth. God hears prayers and answers them, I know that in my heart. I believe in miracles and all that. You're obviously a person who is cynical and is very distrusting of religion. Man, I liked your shows. (If you are in fact the person whose made this, because you obviously posted it) but not anymore. Talk about unbridled bitterness...don't direct your angry bitterness at me.

  • @keilxkey2255 There's nothing angry or bitter about it. This is simply the fact. Indeed, we have medical studies now showing that prayer doesn't work. And why would it? God plans everything out, and then you say hocus pocus and he changes his mind? People prayed to God to save them on 9/11, then jumped to their deaths. This is not bitterness. This is the reality. You say you know, but you know nothing. You want it to be true and that's all you have -- and perhaps an anecdote or two.

  • @keilxkey2255

    And what makes you the authority on all things supernatural? You know no more and no less than me. You're the kind of cynic who, when it doesn't happen on demand, it's not real. That's bullshit, and it's self-serving. And those medical studies? They can't even find the god-spot, how are they going to disprove prayer?

    God doesn't do what you want, when you want, so you make a show and pout about it. Sounds kind of like a spoiled child to me.

  • @keilxkey2255 Test the power of prayer for yourself. Jesus said in Matt. 18:19 "if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." So gather a couple of your Christian friends and ask for something simple and good for the world like world peace, the end of hunger and poverty -- how 'bout just $10,000 to give your favorite charity or church. Then, let me know how that goes. Let's see what you "know." Again, not cynical. Reality.

  • @misterdeity You didn't answer my question. What the HELL makes you the authority? Why do you have to take away faith from those who believe? And you know what, he HAS answered my prayers before, quite directly. But, oh, what did you call them? Anecdotes? You are cynical, you just can't see it, which probably explains why you don't believe it. God does good things in this world, and if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be alive right now so you can just fuck off. I won't be led astray by you.

  • @keilxkey2255 So, you're so special that he saved you, but not the people in the Towers who were praying? Wow! You're amazing!!!! He didn't save little children during the Holocaust, but he saved YOU! He saved a fowl-mouthed believer over an innocent Jewish child? Now who's cynical! Do you really believe He saves some because they say the right words to the right God? Seriously? This is the being you worship? This is not cynical. It's completely narcissistic. Did you do the test? Did it work?

  • @misterdeity

    Yes, he saved me. A fowl-mouthed human sinner. That shows how big God is, that he would save someone like me, who doesn't deserve it at all. It seems to me like your real problem lies with casualties of war, or casualties of terrorist attacks. Sounds like you should blame the terrorists who've actually bloodied their hands, not God. Yes, there is injustice in the world, and yes, things happen for a reason beyond your little human understanding. Sounds like God is your scapegoat.

  • @keilxkey2255 I'm "cynical" because people like you are so self-important. You're worthy of saving, but not the Jewish child (who, btw, according to Xtianity will then burn in Hell forever and ever). This is not a big God. This is a very small, very petty God. Not only does He allow the Jewish child to be tortured and murdered while he saves you, but he also sends the child to Hell for not believing the right thing. But so long as your okay... that's what matters. You're far more cynical than I.

  • @misterdeity

    Where the heck did you get that from? And did you even read my last post? I am not self-important at all. I know I'm not worthy to be saved!! I'm not! And did you ever think that death is not a punishment? Maybe he took those children and innocents to heaven as a relief from living on earth? You keep saying the same thing over and over, but you don't respond to anything I say! You see no hope, no light at the end, and all you percieve is evil intent in everything you see. Cynical!

  • @keilxkey2255 Yes, death is a good thing. That's how Bible believers justify God ordering Genocide (including the murder of babies).

    You're self important because you think that God would save you, but not Jewish children during the Holocaust. I don't see evil. I see reality. There's no one there looking out for anyone. But you think, because of some anecdotal experience, that He saved YOU -- of all people. That's self-important and suggests a very cynical and callous God.

  • @misterdeity

    Alright. Enough of this. I respond, saying what I want, you respond back insulting me and saying what you want. Enough is enough. I'm not going to change your mind, you're not going to change mine. I love and believe in God. You don't.

    I thought this episode was a little too cynical, you obviously took great offense to being called cynical. I'm not apologizing, as I'm sure you're not going to either.

    Stop insulting me. You have no idea who I am or how I've lived my life until now

  • @keilxkey2255 I'm sorry you feel insulted, but you're not considering the logical upshot of your beliefs. If God saved your life because you prayed, and he didn't save the lives of others who prayed, there are only a few possibilities. Either he saved you arbitrarily or because your prayer was better, you're more worthy, etc... But whatever the case, the vast majority of people praying are not saved by God. For me the answer is simple. No one's there. For you, God has his reasons.

  • @keilxkey2255 To offer prayer to those in need as a solution because it "worked for you" without considering that your saving incident could be mere coincidence (or when most people's prayer to be saved doesn't work) is to give people false hope and to cause those whose prayers weren't answered to suffer with the question, "why does God save some, but let my son or daughter suffer a terrible death?" Please consider the harm you do to others by saying God saved you, but doesn't save others.

  • @misterdeity I never said he didn't save other people, too. It rains on the good and bad alike. Bad things happen to good people, too. And sometimes, the answer to your prayers is "no." God doesn't spoil his children, giving them what they want, when they want. You presume to know the mind of God, when in fact, the mind of God is something no man can know, much less understand. I could tell you a million acts of God, and I KNOW all you'd do is chalk it up to "coincidence." You wouldn't listen.

  • @keilxkey2255 For every single "act of God" I could show you 10,000 horrific acts which this all-powerful, all-loving being ordained. But you won't see that side of it. You'll cherry-pick the miracles from the slaughter. He saved you and that's all that matters. The 20th century was filled with 100s of millions of prayers that went unanswered. God didn't save 20 mn Ukrainians, 6 mn Jews, mns more Chinese, and 3k in the towers. But that doesn't matter 'cause he saved YOU, who knows God's mind.

  • @misterdeity

    This is just getting stupid and petty. I don't care what you think about God. Stop pestering me and leave me be.

  • @keilxkey2255 So, nothing to say in the face of all those unanswered prayers? That seems pretty cynical to me. But what the hell... at least he answers yours.

  • @misterdeity Hi, this keilxkey2255 character is a nut job. Probably was an alcoholic or something. He doesn't get the logic of what you're saying. If he got it he would have to change his understanding of everything and that's a lot of work.

  • @keilxkey2255 No amount of belief makes something true.

  • "are you there god? it's me, margaret" LOL

  • He didn't say help me find my puppy alive...

    Rofl :D

  • God really needs to get on the global Do Not Call list.

  • Make watching a full season of Mr Deity mandatory in the US and it might save the world quite a bit of trouble once these kids have grown up and get the right to vote.

    One can dream.

  • This video is great!

    "Who gets the blame? Not me :-)"

  • Oh My Days this is funny

  • O God in the audience, Entertaining o you are not mee. Lucky mee!:¬)

  • Aww, I wanna go help Margret. Hopefully show her these and hope she prays to, IDK, a pink unicorn that listens to prayers. *grin* Forgive me, I'm on a bit of an energy rush today.

  • Mr Deity, I worship you. May I bear your child?

    I would like a girl.

  • This is among the handful of all-time greatest episodes. A classic that should be required viewing for everyone on the planet.

  • i've got a plan and staying the course. that's exactly why prayer wouldn't make a bit of sense even if there was this perfect god.

  • I like this episode because it kinda explains why it's against his commandments to use his name in vain. But it kinda sucks to think that your prayer is just and deleted although I know this is for comic relief purposes only.

  • shoots. I sure hope this isn't how it is... However, it makes sense.

  • "Are you there God, It's me, Margaret" LMFAO! best video ever. :D

  • "What a pest" ROFL

  • Son of a BITCH!

  • LMFAO i just loled

  • lol!!! OH MY GOD, NOW I TOTALLY BELIEVE IN GOD RIGHT NOW. THIS IS WHO GOD REALLY IS!!

  • Mr. Deity is a genius!

  • LOL!!! xD

  • This is one of the most fucking brilliant 3 minutes and 49 seconds I have ever had the privilege of watching.

  • Best prayer:

    "Oh God! Oh yes! Right there!..."

    LOL

  • ****** yeah, six stars

  • "Hello are you there god? It's me, Margert" hahahaha this show is genius breaded put on a stick deep fried and up loaded.

    in other words, its awesome.

  • Absolutely perfect!

  • I don't know why, but you remind me of Guy Fieri in this episode.

  • they always assume I'm republican :D

    I guess the communiation is not as clear as bush wanted to makes us believe :D

  • Jesus should have asked "Who is Holy Spirit? I've yet to see this guy."

  • "They always assume I'm republican..."

    "Yeah, I get that too..."

    I lol'd

  • ...so...all my earlier prayers were just spam and deleted.

    Actually, that explains a lot.

  • Jesus is pretty hot!

  • Oh yes!

  • Yeah my little sister just agreed with you and Mr.Deity is quite tylish

  • My philo teacher played this in class and I was dying. It's fuckin golden!

  • This explains a lot. Damn!

  • LOL

    He called the prayers spam XD

  • LMAO. I've got a plan, I'm stayin the course.

  • Hahahahahahahahaha the girl having sex is so hilarious XD

  • "oh god. oh yeah, right there."

    LOL

  • "dear lord, we want to thank you for this food ..."

    "this, this is like 60% of my voice mail"

  • "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret."

    bwahahahahahahah and so the snorting began.

  • haha sweet :D

  • How about Ronald Reagan?

  • Haha, they always assume he's a republican. But, Mr. D. says that he liked "Ronnie," meaning Ron Paul, I can only assume. But if that's true, is that part of the satire of the show, or does Brian Keith Dalton actually endorse Ron Paul?

  • I think if you're going republicans, he's going to be talking Ronald Reagan, Ron Paul is more a liberitarian

  • Brilliant stuff ... OMG, you make it look so easy, too, which is the bonus. Doing what I can to spread the "good news".

  • just brilliant lol

  • I didn't notice the book he was reading was "Why Darwin matters" LMAO

  • This is my favorite episode by far!

  • if only my mail inbox had that kinda spam......lmao

  • BELETED

  • Invited the Great Spirit again. Ha, those godless Dems.

  • There's just no incentive. Wow.

  • Brilliant again!

  • Thank God I found these videos. Can't stop watching them. I think I just pissed myself!

  • Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret - message erased.

    What a pest...

  • I loved how Mr. Deity was portrayed..... the character is somewhat confused and the caricature of moral ambiguity in him ....and despite all that he is a complete jerk..... flawlessly acted...... Hilarious and awesome. 5/5

  • I can't stop laughing, hilarious!

  • Maybe God's just an asshole.

  • god is an impath... maybe that actually makes some sense.

    Judge by law not thoughtless emotion...

    wait...

    Now I'm confused. i just broke myself.

  • this is hilarious stuff

  • you guys are fucking awesome!

  • I love how he's reading "Why Darwin Matters' at the beginning.

  • Unanswered prayer; yet another accurate point. :O)

    P.S.

    This stuff is funny as well. ★★★★★

    Katalyzt

  • just looked at the time: 1:11

  • The god and satan thing is just a rehash of the archetypal light v darkness, day v night deal.

    What gets to me is that all major religions stress developing a personal relationship with the universe and then they tell you that you have to believe exactly what they tell you to believe or else their all-loving god will make you burn for eternity.

  • Well, you're certainly not speaking about me. I was extremely religious for 10 years. Read the Bible cover-to-cover a number of times. I think the problem is that some of us read it and didn't overlook all the problems and things that were disconcerting just because the message of salvation made us feel good. When you examine the Bible as though it were just another book, it doesn't have quite the same appeal as it does when you're simply looking to bolster your faith.

  • @misterdeity Perfectly said.

  • the people that are critical of religion generally understand the bible better than those that actually believe it. It's called rational thinking, not blind faith

  • Sorry. If what you said is true, I'd be likely to believe it too. Lee strobel is full of shit though, he has no evidence to back his claims, or the "evidence" he puts out is ridiculous and has no bearing on the matter. If 500 people saw him, not one of them wrote about it. If he did more miracles than could fit into the bible as it says in john, no one wrote about it. No one said a word about jesus until Paul years after he died. The gospels were then written 20+ years from then. No evidence

  • you're reading off something irrelevant. the author is in 180AD, he never even met matthew or mark, so he has no idea. That is not evidence. Mark's gospel wasn't written till 70ad or later, I doubt he was born around the same time as jesus and wrote the book, but his was the earliest. after that was matthew luke john etc, I highly doubt they lived 90+ years as there is no historical evidence even for these disciples, the gospels were written anon. Try to find a real eyewitness. Acts = fiction

  • Even if there was a million eye witnesses, that would not amount to any real evidence. There is lots of now living self exclaimed prophets and gurus that have hundreds of miracles, with thousand of now living eye witnesses. If you really are interested in this I would strongly recommend reading one of Sam Harris books. The end of Faith or Letters to a Christian nation. (you can find them as audio books on thepiratebayDOTorg)

  • I'm not sure how you could have any idea whether or not the people commenting here have or have not read the bible thoroughly. It's quite an assumption to think that simpy because people disagree with you about something they are uninformed.

  • @bignickyv how can you listen to a book? They've got that poorly translated book of fairy tales on CD Now?

  • LOL

  • dear lord we thank you for this food..

    this is 60% of my voicemail, its spam

    LMFAO

  • Prayer isn't for God, its for people. God doesn't need your input!

  • He's right you know... I am real. Please leave your praise and supplication after the beep.

    BEEP!

  • /praise

  • hmmm, I'll gladly blaspheme your god. I will jack it to a pic of jesus too. Or mary. I don't really care, lol.

  • Yes... GOD is real, but so are YOU!

  • Mmmm.....thats good blasphemy.More please.

  • So obviously you are christian then? What about all the other world's religions, aren't they just as equal? Yes, they are all just as equal. They are all equally ludicrous and only believed by those with mental retardation. The way you laugh at scientology herbertoc9, that is the way civilized man laughs at your insane religion. Oh and if god exists, may he strike you down for being such a fuckin tool herb.

  • I need this Friday's lottery numbers. I mean the Mega-Millions, not the Pick 3.

    I promise to give him 15% of my winnings. That's an extra 5% above the normal offering.

    Robert Tilton told me god needs by money. I guess the mortgage payment on his solid gold house must really be high. Maybe he needs to a re-fi.

  • you say you can prove god hears prayer. please, do prove it.

  • Doesn't take much in the way of 'guts', it just takes more than the average level of intelligence and critical thinking skills.

    Blaspheme? A totally-invented 'sin', by the way, as is your god baby-sitter.

    No gods - no guts necessary.

    Message you? Yeah, sure. Prove here and now? If you could, you'd be the first to do so and, if you could, i promise you that I would be among the first to be crushed to death in the global stampede to the nearest churches to repent. Meanwhile, no proof provided.

  • Why would you repent? I wouldn't accept a monstrous dictator God as my ruler even if they did prove it was real.

  • I guess I'd have to consider all the pros and cons before reaching a final decision.

    Let's face it, though. I ain't gonna happen at all, so why worry about the details?

  • Vire70

    Well, when l say 'repent' l guess that ; mean that l would accept it. That said, l'd still stay as far away from this evil god as l could.

    With apologies to MisterDeity, of whom we all need more to savour.

  • The word SIN has its roots in the sport of archery and all it means is to "Miss the mark'.

  • blortner

    That's interesting. l love the language and am always eager to learn more about origins.

    Latin origin?

    Sport or actual warfare?

  • lmao!!!60% spam!!lol

  • I love this Jesus

  • SPAM - HA HA HA!!!

  • Oh gawd...he's reading "Why Darwin Matters" by Micheal Shermer of the Skeptics Society at the beginning. Classic!

  • Hahahaha! oh, oh god. lol you guys are good.

  • "Who gets the blame? Not me!"

  • Mr. Deity ROCKS!

    thanks, Mr. Deity...

  • "I did like Ronnie, though."

    He's a Ron Paul supporter! :D

  • He might've been referring to Reagan.