Arranged Marriage - clip from the film Outsourced

[Dlovely291]

Don't listen to those types of people Indian Ladies!!! Doing things the traditiional way in these times shows that you are better than what the world wants you to believe is is better right now!!! True, if you aren't being selfish, you can develop EVERLASTING RESPECT & REAL LOVE!!!

[seovideo24]

in many ways while we may view arranged marriages as a primitive situation and "we marry out of love" if the marriage works , and its good for the children what is the issue

True there are some arranged marriages where it does not "work out" , the parties stay together "for the kids" and for the most part blatantly hate each other.

This is true - yet it happens in western style marriages as well

[Sancheez12]

This is true love it must suck because she falls in love with him but can't stay with him makes u think they have to get married to some one n u fall in love but can't do that to your culture

[pattyrodriguez2]

Even your parents who know you best cannot guarantee 100% about the other person, unless this other person was also a son/daughter. A person should chose his/her own future partner cos if it doesn't work the the person him/herself will have to live with that. Arranged marriages are still a gamble taken by parents. No one can guarantee the success of a marriage though one can try and chose wisely for himself/herself.

[TheSkirmishes]

भई लड़की वालो ने लड़के वालो की बहुत इज्ज़त की रिश्ता पका हुआ, धूम धाम से शादी हुयी शादी की रात को लड़के को पता चला की लड़की retard है

दुल्के को पता चल गया की उसका चूतिया कट गया है लड़की के माँ बाप को कहा तो वो बोले भई अब तो शादी हो गयी यह तो मिया बीवी का मामला है बस और उसने अपने आप को सड़क में घोड़े पर बैठा हुआ चूतिया दिखा पाया ......i love how some indian families con others in arrange marriage in the name of culture ....ha ha ha ha really funny

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes I don't see the point in writting in Hindi, plus there are some mistakes, you even wrote "dulKe"at one point instead of "dulHE", I smell google translation behind this...^^

Otherwise, I'm not pro-arranged mariage too, but the example you gave isn't even the type of arranged mariage that's common nowadays, in your example, the guy did not even meet the would-be-bride before the wedding night, nowadays arranged mariages include even a lapse of time for flirting...

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg thank you so much finally i got to meet an indian who is ashamed of typing or writing in hindi but would wear a national flag tattoo on 15th august, im learning hindi and find it as complex as the indian culture....this instance is real and happened to one of my work mate who traveled all the way to india just to find that the girl is a retard but his parents were happy since their mouth was shut with loads of money

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Oh I'm not ashamed of Writing or Typing in Hindi...I just can't do it, you idiot

My keyboard isn't in Devanagari Script but in Azerty format with latin alphabets, how on earth do you expect me to type quickly in such conditions...and though I understand the language well, it's not my native language, I'm of Indian Descent not Indian Born, I could write to you in French, English or even my mother tongue-Mauritian Creole if you like...

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg you typical double standard indian asshole you can surely read hindi and even point out mistakes thou..but when it comes to writing shove your head in some other language ass, do you people get some sort of high pretending brown wanabe whites??

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes How old are you?...Four?

Are all people of Indian Descent fluent in Hindi for you?

I haven't studied the language for seven fucking years...I can very well understand it and read it but write it quite clumsily now....

And you apparently don't understand English...I've got an azerty keyboard, do you know how long it's gonna take me to type in Hindi?...even If I were to use Google Translation as an aide, that would take an eternity....

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes You see a wannabe White, I see a youngster of Indian Descent who's fluent in three International languages and one endemic dialect...

That' not being a wannabe white but being one of the students of Indian Descent who's intelligent enough to speak multiple languages...that's in fact flaterring for India

I've never even been to India you idiot, and I can still speak Hindi....

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg good for you...ill write a letter to the indian ministry of external affairs to grant you "padmashree award" or somthing

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes In any case who do you think you are to come impose anything on others???

As far as you can understand me, I don't care a damn thing what you think about me typing in English

You apparently live in the UK but seem to be of South Asian descent, then why on earth aren't YOU answering back fully in a south asian language??...then only talk about Double Standards...

What are you angry about, that someone who's native language isn't even English can write it better than you??

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg "In any case who do you think you are to come impose anything on others??"

read your first comment you garlic-ginger-paste stinky chicken tikka masala curry who the fuck are you to tell me there is no point in writing in hindi? and pointing out mistakes to top it all? asshole im not from south asian decent therefore wont show around my bollocks to justify my comments "im this,iam that,im from here im from there"...that you indian people do im learning hindi for my work aid

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Well at least OUR food has taste...

I replied to your post in Hindi, because the content sounded terribly far fetched and because you DID make mistakes in writing it

Work Aid?...Are you talking about the charity organisation?

You're just some useless White Trash or something..

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg well said your food only has taste..u gandu if it werent for white trash like us ur entire 5 generation would still be stuck in that shithole called bhihaar

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Don't worry by actual trends, that "shit hole" might well become more developed than the UK and its continuing Financial Crisis....When you'll be selling your country just like Greece and Portugal, we'll be there to buy it...

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg and dude if i start replying in hindi you will kill your parents for teaching you hindi..lol

and one last thing...if you can type english with your keyboard (whichever azerty, kriptonite whatever planet it is from) you can write hindi

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Are you dumb because you don't even seem to understand simple English

I didn't learn Hindi from my parenst but at SCHOOL you retarded idiot, my native language ressembles 17th Century French and noone speaks Hindi in everyday life in my surroundings

I'm a fifth generation person of Indian Origins and I still manage to have learnt the language of my ancestors

How many Italians in Brooklin or Germans in the US can actually speak the language of their ancestors

I don't think many

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg wait a mintue 5th generation?? you guys were stinky slaves brought in from india??...

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Ever heard about Indentured Labourers??? on Contract Basis, they were paid, housed and had the choice to go back and half did go back

And remember that at that time while the British Nobility was living in luxury after stealing Indian Wealth, your ancestors were living in dire conditions in Victorian Britain....

You should re-read Dickens ....

Why learn Hindi, when you don't value Indians?

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Anyone can type any language on any keyboard, I just don't want to spend an hour typing a comment in Devanagari when I could do so in English much quicker

And as you seem too retarded to understand, I'll say it a last time

Hindi is NOT my native language, I understand it & read it very well but still experiences difficulties to type it, I haven't even spoken it for 7 fucking years

I don't want to repeat myself on this subject

Azerty is the keyboard's French version you idiot

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg good for you now shove azerty in ur arse since it seems u want to repeat it again and again..lol

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes I never said your story was fictional, what I did say is that it isn't a typical modern arranged mariage...

Today there's also a lapse of time for flirting and to learn about each other...What you described was simply a con, your friend being probably the greatest imbecile on earth...and his parents can be classified as pimps...they basically sold their son away

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg if there is an arrange marriage there has to be an greatest imbecile and pimp parents...weather it is a black jack fuck your life retard spouse marriage or vagina sniffing flirting buffer time hypocritical marriage...its not arrange marriage its arranged con...lol

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes If the future spouses had the opportunity of actually dating and saying "no", then it can't be a con

I know someone who was at 29 still a bachelor, couldn't find someone by himself, so he himself ASKED his parents to find a girl and when he met his future wife, they actually dated for nearly a whole year and later on only got married

Even the girl had said no multiple times to different proposals before accepting this one

Doesn't that remind you of MODERN dating sites???

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg lol what a pussy 29 bachelor and let me guess must be a virgin living with parents....lol and what a loser asking parents to pimp the girl he'll fuck eventually?? parents forced cultural chastity (since he knows she wont fuck around while seeing each other)and label it MODERN dating? dude you dont let your parents choose your dearly personal things like mobile phones.xbox or laptop... let alone choosing a girl..what a bummer...anyhow alls well that ends well

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes Haven't you ever thought that long ago matrimonial agencies & dating sites never existed?

There are thousands of people who can't find someone for themselves, & the only way they could get a girl or boy was by seeking help from someone usually their parents...

That's regrettable but understandable

"forced cultural chastity"?

You're just an uncultured moron, in many cultures spouses are expected to be virgins before mariage, I don't mind pre-marital sex but some chose not to

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg and you are just a "chootiya" how can u repress the natural and bio-chemical growth of human body? no wonder all these virgin countries are still fucked up 3rd world shitholes....repressed, perverted, virgin freaks

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes What an anachronic comment.....

What if I called the West prude and a "virgin country" just because of the Middle Ages?, you would say I've forgotten the Greeks and Romans who used to fuck like animals

well before India became prude, sex wasn't taboo, there's even Erotic Temple Carvings at the Huge Khajurao Temple Complex which is a UNESCO World Heritage site...

and before calling us prude, just remember Victorian Times and where the Kamasutra came from...uncultured moron

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg we still by renaissance...ur country had one gupta period and the only fucking thing you got from that era is kamasutra..indeed..wait a minute are you saying..since majority of poor dear holly cow india doesnt have anything for prime time..so they make use of kamasutra and r no1 in population olympics...lol

however in the real one they are just zero...that too ur invention aint it?

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes You should probably take a crash course in History, not only on Indian History but on that of Britain, that might help avoid your idiotic comments

But I'm pretty sure, you know you aren't making sense, you're just a dishonest troll who speaks either out of ignorance or speaks nonsense knowing very well how unfounded your arguments are, just to annoy others

Don't worry about the Olympics, who would have thought that China would beat the US barely twenty years ago

Things change

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes If it wasn't for the Indian Decimal System and Arabic Algebra, with your limited Roman Numerals and primitive Abacus, you'd still be needing to reach University level to do simple multiplications...

And while the Germanic tribes were living like Primitive Hunter Gatherers our Ancestors were Developping the Third Oldest and First Urban Civilisation on Earth that today spans 5 Millenia...

Brits did very well LATER on, but you don't have any legitimacy to look down on us

[tinkujia]

It feels so unreal. No way an urban Indian (thats what the girl is depicted as) girl is married at age of 4 in this age!

Seems as a gimmick to make money out of an age old stereotype.

[CaligirlSofia]

@tinkujia she said engaged, in some small villages this does happen also children from 8-13 years of age are married by their parents, although these are small villages that do not follow the law

[timecamppf]

Also, about one of my previous comments. The last sentence should read, "There is the belief that going into any marriage, unhappily, will NOT succeed." >.< Sorry about that!

[timecamppf]

Also, the divorce rate for arranged marriages is low due to the fact that both people go into the marriage with the general understanding that they must make it work, and that they cannot afford to be selfish. They realize that being married means accommodating both of their hopes and dreams for the future, and mutual agreement and compromise. And this doesn't just apply to arranged marriages--ANY marriage must be entered with this mindset, otherwise it will not work.

[peacerebelgirl]

@timecamppf divorce rates, remain low (but are increasing) due to the fact that children want to please their parents and make the marriage work, esp. if the parents chose the mate. i'm often told that parents know their children best, so who better to choose their child's spouse. i recently met a man who endured many years of mental torture, he and his arranged bride miserable because they were not a match. he stayed for a long time to please his mother who chose his wife, but finally divorced.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl As far as I know, that's not true. Am I saying that it does not occur? No, absolutely not. I too know of someone who suffered through a marriage and ultimately divorced. But this is not the norm. Both spouses are raised with cultural values that no matter what occurs in a marriage, they must face the challenges as a unit. There will always be people who are not a match, but who is to say that this does not occur in any other kind of marriage?

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl Also, parents DO take into account the fact that their children must have a good match. Not astrologically speaking, but also in temperament, common goals, and interests. It is never just about money, or status, or a job.

And then again, I know of a lot more people divorcing due to the fact that the spouse THEY chose was not "the person they thought they were". So both kinds of marriage have their drawbacks and their good sides.

[peacerebelgirl]

@timecamppf while parents *may* take several factors into account, the ultimate issue is allowing their children to choose their life partner. divorce will happen in any kind of failed union but everyone should still be allowed to decide who they want to be with. marriage is one of the biggest commitments a person makes in their lifetime. i recently met a guy born and raised in the u.s. who had his wife chosen for him by his mom. it was a miserable mess that he finally freed himself from.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl Yes, but you have to take into account that not all arranged marriages fail, or are even miserable. Any marriage has the potential to be miserable, arranged or not, due to varying circumstances, not just because there was no choice in the matter. And once again, as is the case with the majority of marriages, the ultimate decision is up to the children. Most parents are willing to allow their children to decide for themselves, since they too, recognize it as a huge commitment.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl And once again, there will always be two sides to any issue. There will always be successful arranged marriages and there will be unhappy ones. But it is important to realize that just because there are unhappy arranged marriages, doesn't mean that the entire idea is a failure, or is horrible. The question of choice is important, but like I said, choice does exist as well.

[CrazyFaceWilly]

@peacerebelgirl Ive read journal articles that focus on this...there are a lot of people who CHOOSE to have an arranged marriage. They also have a choice to decline the parents choice if they feel its not the right match. I am not saying that it always happens like this but to ignore that it does happen willingly and fully embraced is to also ignore the truth.... One of the things I found suprising is one of the surveyed brides was a womens rights activist.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl And people are allowed to choose who they want to be with. You're thinking of a forced marriage, which is frowned upon even in an Indian society. An arranged marriage is different. It's important to make that distinction. Not all arranged marriages are forced marriages, and you definitely get a choice when it's an arranged marriage. Parents only introduce their children to potential spouses. It's up to the girl/boy to ultimately decide.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl Also, forced marriages are often more publicized than the thousands of successful arranged marriages. It happens, and the system actually works quite well. It's not perfect, but it's definitely NOT without choice. Might I suggest that you talk to some people for whom this has worked? You might get a different angle as well as the pros and cons. Forced marriages with no choice and societal pressure are terrible things, I agree. But it does not happen all that often either.

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@peacerebelgirl I believe you are condusing arranged marriages and forced marriages. In arranged marriages the parents put forward suitors they think are most suitable and then children meet them (often more than once) and decide.

Ofcourse arrange marriages just like love marriages dont always work, divorce does still happen. But people also change over time or they are different from your expectations.

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@peacerebelgirl

Do you understand why arranged marriages are used? Its to avoid cultural+tradition clash. India is a big country with diverse cultures. Arranged marriages are used to avoid cultural conflict. Say you are non-veg, your parents will find someone similar that also eats meat. Indians are strict about food, my aunty (love marriage) to this day cant eat meat around her husband as even the smell disgusts him. Also with 25 differnt languages in India, couples need common language. Etc..

[Varoonmg]

@xxalmightykanakexx To tell the truth, arranged mariages were made basically so that the family wealth could remain among a common group of people...

In any case, when one is choosing his or her partner, one can ultimately cast out someone that does not have the same eating habits or things of that kind....

Arranged mariage is when parents impose their choice on their children, and that's inherently bad....

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@Varoonmg Umm no...that's what the royals in India do, not the common people. Indian here, I've seen love marriages, arranged marriages, semi-arranged..you name it and I've seen first hand.

You say that..but trying actually visitng India. The workforce is so mobile you meet many Indians from different backgrounds.

Correction FORCED marriages are when parents impose their choice on their children. Arranged marriages are firstly based on Astrology...might want to do a bit of research first. ;)

[Varoonmg]

@xxalmightykanakexx Well the term "arranged mariage" is an umbrella term used to denote any types of mariages where the future spouses did not meet each other "freely"....

for intance if one does not have the choice, then it's forced mariage, if one can opt out , without facing retaliation then I guess it's fine...

Most people fall in love and choose their spouses by themselves if some don't then some willingly enlist the help of their parents, that's acceptable, because they willingly did so

[Varoonmg]

@xxalmightykanakexx I would just like to point out, that in the vid, the persons did not actually choose each other as they were children at that time...

Of course they can opt out now, but we know that social pressure and family shame forbid many from doing so...in that case, you don't really have freedom of choice

Well Indian Astrology is a nice cultural feature, but deciding mariage solely on this, is I think irrational and simply stupid...

I'm of Indian-descent

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@Varoonmg Depends how you define 'freely'. My sister had an arranged marriage and she met him multiple times. Not as much as my parents who dated+cohabited for months before tying the knot.

Yes in this case they didn't chose each other. I'm talking about modern society where it's no longer the norm for parents to decide. Now most people find their own suitors and discuss with parents (semi-arranged).

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@Varoonmg I'm not saying I agree with how arranged marriages work. Imho it's illogically to base marriages on astrology. But I've seen weirder things like numerology in the west. Who am I to judge? If a marriage works (be it love marriage or arranged) it amazing. If it fails..it can get ugly.

I am not painting a rainbows+unicorn image of arranged marriage. But to imply that the majority of arranged marriages in modern society are forced and agreed upon after 0-1 meeting is completely wrong.

[Varoonmg]

@xxalmightykanakexx You're quite right on that, most arranged mariages usually take place with the free choice of the future spouses and usually after multiple meetings....you're right about not confusing them with forced mariages....

But one should remember that the term "free" is quite subjective, in this vid, the spouses clearly don't have the choice, because if they do opt out, the social backlash will be terrible

Most indian mariages are based on astrology, not that common in the west

[xxalmightykanakexx]

@Varoonmg Correct me if I am wrong but the phone call at the end of the film left the ending ambiguous...

[TheSkirmishes]

@xxalmightykanakexx it simply meant... the indian girl made sure the white guy cant resist the smell of indian spicy vagina and he gets her a US spouse visa....thats exactly what majority of indian girls dream off...and they live happily ever after

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes In fact the US spends its time begging for highly-qualified Indian girls to come work at the Silicon Valley or in numerous Research Centres...

You just seem to be an idiotic moronic xenophobe who doesn't even know the facts, ever heard of brain drain?

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg dude you havent been to india and stayed there for longer period of time...so shut the fuck up..and its better for people like you to rather not go there....cuz when idiotic mornonic xenophobe deluded person like you visits india..they are the one who gets conned apart by people...all u have these greedy bitches running behind you spreading their legs screaming marry me marry me.to come to UK become brown wanabe white dont you be telling me about brain drain...i cause one

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes That was I think by far the most idiotic comment I've read so far...

The remittances they send back to their parents constitute a major contribution to the GDP of India and that does help local development because unlike you, we still have a sense of family mutual help

You're just a sexist mysoginist imbecile, what's your problem with India girls marrying whoever they want??

Do I smell jealousy?

What are you jealous of that we out perform you at school and university?

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg perhaps it was written for an idiot like the doublestandard stinky curry's...hate us for ruling them....but the moment get the work visa..drool all the way to the first flight to england..and send money home so that they can fit a western toilet in their house...lol..jealousy?? for the brown wanabe white doublestandard bitch sucking white cocks for a visa?? is that what sense of family teaches them?

we let you perform to let u be our slaves..just the imperial changed to capitalist

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes You "let" us perform?

What a joke, are you too ashamed to admit that East Asians & South Asians easily out perfom you at school??

Just live in your little idiosyncracies, when your job will be outsourced to us, & you'll be begging us to buy out your abysmal debt, we'll see who laughs last

I wasn't wrong in calling you white trash, because Educated Whites know the value of their Asian Counterparts, only the most Uneducated whites still consider themselves superior..paradoxal

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg dude we give it away for peanuts and bask on yielded profit....and you "educated" people fall for it and thats the value of asian counterparts.....the same imperial style "work for us and we will make u rich"

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes "yield profits"??...You mean debt?

If the current trend continues, after the Greeks, The Portuguese, The Spaniards and now the Italians, you'll soon be working for the Chinese..

Be as insulting as you wish, you'll live long enough to see Asia rise and thrive...

Actually from the beginning, I'm not even sure you're British

You just seem to be a troll...from "Bandalabad" I guess?

I don't wish the West harm, on the contrary, but its Dominance is over

You just sit and watch

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg n what these silicon valley bitches do?? do they go back home and spread the development?? no.either they spray pheromones from their vagina to find some americangirl burnt american to get a visa or extend their work in the name of research for a greencard, but yeah all the bitches and assholes of india back home will aways rant. how evil british rule was..or the great indian culture is getting ruined by the west..the moment get their visa stamped drool and catch the first flight

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes You can't even type properly for Goodness sakes, your comments are just mere gibberish...

Hasn't anyone taught you how to struture your paragraphs and sentences??

[Varoonmg]

@xxalmightykanakexx There was no ambiguity,... they just ended up together...lol

To tell the truth, I even found it fishy that an educated girl like her would want to marry someone her parents chose during her infancy...and when Indian parents are intelligent enough to educate their daughters, they aren't usually the ones to go for that type of arranged mariage...

Good for them, they made a nice couple...:P...I know I sound a little bit sissy...:))

[kentepage]

@peacerebelgirl same thing happened to me, and I'm an American... wasted too much of my life trying to stay in it and please both our parents...

[farizzal]

@timecamppf you are being a bit naive....arranged marriages are often done in cultures where going through a divorce is social suicide, you are a pariah if you do. Trust me I know, I was raised in that environment. So they are FORCED to live with it, no matter what, because of social pressure. That is a much bigger factor in the low numbers rather than the optimistic, romanticized mindset you think they all have.

[timecamppf]

@farizzal I too was raised in that environment. I'm not going to lie and say that it's not the case, and I'm quite sure the divorce rate would be higher if divorce itself was not such a social suicide. However, an important distinction must be made between an arranged marriage, which cannot proceed without the consent of both parties, and a forced marriage, which occurs regardless of what either party thinks. What you are thinking of is a forced marriage.

[timecamppf]

@farizzal Forced marriage in general is also frowned upon, at least where I was raised (I'm South Indian). The choice is entirely up to the girl/boy in question, the parents simply introduce the two and if it works then the marriage proceeds. If not, the matter is dropped entirely. My parents, heck, my grandparents were married this way (and that was in the 1920s). They've all been married quite a long time, and they're happy.

[timecamppf]

@farizzal As for the naive part: I was raised with the mindset that marriage is both give and take. Everyone I know understands this. It's ingrained in our culture far more than the mindset that divorce is the ultimate failure, and its this understanding that will sustain a marriage. It's not naive nor is it romanticized. It is what happens and continues to happen. A large portion of marriages, arranged or not, are successful due to that understanding, not because divorce is considered wrong.

[farizzal]

@timecamppf The naivete is on your part, when you think that it is an understanding that sustains these marriages and not the social pressure. Sure some marriages are like that, but a lot of them are kept under the threat of becoming a pariah family.

[timecamppf]

@farizzal Um, no. Most marriages are sustained because of that understanding. Most of the time, such a marriage is successful. However, the ones that are NOT successful are forced to remain together, regardless, due to pressure. That is wrong. If it does not work out for whatever reason, no one should be pressured to stay in the marriage, this I agree with. But many ARE successful, with or without that pressure. So why decry the whole system? It's not without faults, but that is changing.

[farizzal]

@timecamppf I am not thinking of a forced marriage, I am thinking of an arranged marriage. The social pressure does not change, it may be a little less extreme but it remains there.

[trekkicat]

@timecamppf

divorcing is expensive, so of course not many can afford it. you were forced into this bond. I rather face my fate alone than being with a man I never cared about

[timecamppf]

Let me clarify something. Arranged marriages, especially today, are not even "arranged". As far as I know, the job of the parents is to merely introduce their children to potential spouses. The ultimate decision of whether or not the two of them marry is almost always up to the children, never the parents. This applies for men and women, equally. My grandparents, parents and all of my cousins were married in this manner. There is the belief that going into any marriage, unhappily, will succeed.

[peacerebelgirl]

@timecamppf from my research, on the ground (in various parts of india) talking with people as well as ngo's who work with women's issues, as well as from reports and articles i've read, arranged marriage is still happening on a wide scale. there are families who are allowing their children to have more of a say in their choice of a marriage partner, but this is by no means the norm in india. in fact, i've recently met indians born in the u.s. who's marriages were arranged for them.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl Yes, but the very definition of arranged marriage has changed from the strictest sense. What I wrote about is still termed as an arranged marriage, however it is somewhat of a misnomer these days. The children still have the option to turn down any potential spouse their parents choose. Arranged marriages in the strictest sense, I agree, are wrong and must not occur, but they are far more publicized due to their human rights violations. Tragedies happen, but things have changed.

[peacerebelgirl]

@timecamppf this is not my experience. i have several friends in india who were not given a choice; the match was what their parents felt was best. i do however, have a few friends who were allowed to make their own choice, but only within certain parameters - ie: choosing from an few potential mates, pre-approved by their parents/families.

[diplez]

HEYY DOSE ANY ONE NO THE MOVIE ITS IN THIS MOVIE WERE THE WHITE GUY DANCES TO IT ITS A IDIAN MOVIE N THEY CALL THE GIRLTO DANCE TO

[jackmax30]

how about in Saudi Arabia is it arrange marriage too

[peacerebelgirl]

@jackmax30 i think arranged marriage still exists in quite a few parts of the world.

[sguardian870]

also ppl in love marriages cheat as well......so to be honest anything u can find in an arranged marriage u can get in a love marriage good and bad.......stop being so condenscending./.

[peacerebelgirl]

@sguardian870 this issue is not about cheating. nor is this discussion and disagreement with arranged marriage condescending.

[sguardian870]

@peacerebelgirl SO WHAT IS THE ISSUE ABOUT EXACTLY.....cos if the avearage indian woman is happy being arranged and see it as normal who are u to say it is bondage etc....what is ur point then

[sguardian870]

@peacerebelgirl notice how when she talks about americas divorce rate in a free society he cannt counter it, whether they can get out of it or not in india the point remains one thing whether u get in by choice or by love being happy is not guaranteed.... some ppl are happy in arranged and some arnt

[sguardian870]

im not indian but this is a stupid idea from the video maker, just cos its not the way u do it in the america and whats not doesnt mean its wrong and bad, loads of girls in america and the uk fall in love with men who beat and kill them eventually there was love b4 the marriage.......she said the most important thing" ill grow to love him" thats what we all do arrange or not u dont just see a girl and love her in so called love marriages u grow to love and then get married. theres no difference

[peacerebelgirl]

@sguardian870 there is the issue of 'freedom of choice'. adults should be free to marry who they want without parental or societal control or consent. the 'Love Commandos' are working towards that: watch?v=RsWoM6373wg

marriage should be a choice between two people, not a family or their culture, and certainly not for financial reasons. women are systematically murdered in india because of the dowry they must bring to a marriage. did you even bother to read the description about these issues?

[hatke159]

If the couple cannot understand and respect each other then any kind of marriage is destined to fail. So stop this arranged and love marriage bullshit. There are plenty of instances where girls imagine wild things about arranged marriages and so they in a hurry choose some wrong guy to fall in love. then that moron just uses her body and dumps her. Finally I would want to say that Just stay in your limits if you want love marriage. sex can wait. going to parks and pubs is not love.

[singlaprety12]

omg i knew people who were indian and outsorced and there kids had arranged marriges. Oh course they okay with it and its not all bad. The kids parents also otsorced to india.

regardless i hate them for another different issue

[foxh8er]

Netflix HD?

[undplulucf]

but this gives out the wrong impression completely!

the girl and guy are alwyas introduced to each other beofre the wedding, and they their consent is almost always taken.

most of my firneds chose their partners, but did wait till their families consented. of course, they made sure that the partenrs they woudl chose would be 'appropriate' for the family (caste, economics, family etc)

[shadowofdrknss]

@undplulucf Absolutely agreed!! The bride and groom always meet each other before hand. And normally if the girl isnt happy with her potential groom, the parents have no choice but to accept. It was like that even during epochs long gone, such as Ramayana.

[peacerebelgirl]

@shadowofdrknss i've met many indians who did not even see their spouse until the day of the marriage.

[SAYEM9999]

Thats funny, i mean very funny..............

[vishnuonfire007]

my god why do u want to say that mate? obviously why should u comment about something which u dont even know...

[2beatnuts]

thanks very helpfull for my research.. So i need some help here.. are indian wome n ok with this? i mean, they should decide for their own. right? i

[peacerebelgirl]

Many women, and men seem to be alright with having their spouse chosen for them. When i ask them about it the common answer is 'who knows me better than my parents?' I think it is more out of tradition and custom that they go along with it. Those who buck the system are often heavily chastised, which could be an incentive for those who have any ideas of straying from the path that has been chosen for them. Best wishes on your research!

[rockawear9999]

great clip for my research

[peacerebelgirl]

there's info on the sidebar as well, if you've not seen it. good luck on your research!

[Parubhi]

Why even mention the divorce rate. Lets be real here, it doesn't matter how unhappy someone is after an arranged marriage in india because divorce isn't even an option. Instead they just live out their lives hating each other and their children.

[peacerebelgirl]

It's true - if there is no choice in whom one can marry, there is no option to divorce.

[unganster44]

@Parubhi Okay lets get this shit right. Who made the movie? Americans. So before you on bashing americans for being HONEST, get your facts right. The americans purposely put that in there. And i love how people get so upset over one film which seems to be taunting the culture of America while so many videos and tv shows mock the cultures of others. Plus, your statement is definitely out of bias since i witness an arranged marriage who are doing very well. Get over it. its a damn movie.

[DavidCourtney123]

If I were making the film and had the same marketing pressures placed upon me, I would probably handle the topic in a similar fashion. However this just goes to underscore the difficulties of using popular entertainment as social criticism.

I never even met my wife until the day of the marriage proposal. This was 31 years ago in Hyderabad. We have been happily married ever since.

Peace

David Courtney

[krzysg1982]

u got lucky

[starzangel89]

great clip!