Billy Connolly - Tobacco Police

[Krukkie]

*phone rings*

'Oh, is that for me?'

This guy is incredibly sharp and witty.

[AJCMetallica]

"...Or I'll smash you with a Coca-Cola bottle!"

[Zephyesa]

I agree I hate those dumb twats who speak at 150 decibles on their phones, stfu already, nobody wants to hear ur boring shit

[andyc992]

The 2 dislikes are clearly the 2 women expecting twins!

[drella93]

Just seen him tonight in Blackpool what a funny man!!!

[aTruster]

Bit of a hypocrite really. Demands to blow his smoke over everyone, but doesn't want people using a mobile near him. Wise up big yin!

[stewiee7999]

@aTruster but he's saying he only only smoke in this room, they can use their phone anywhere.

[ScottFraser1991]

@aTruster Yeah I see your point and I agree to a certain extent. A bit hypocritical of him..

[Cathain78]

@aTruster

He didn't demand to blow his smoke over everyone. He wanted to smoke in the only room where smoking was allowed. There's a rather big difference. But I agree, there's double standards there. We should restrict mobile phones from public areas as well considering the health risks and nuisance factors.

[september106]

@squirell1952

that comment wasnt expected, i know what billy would say to you, hed tell you to fuck off and start reading a different book for once in your life

[f45tT4g]

She said, "We're expecting friends." I said, "I don't give a fuck if you're expecting twins."

[mrblaizee]

@squirell1952 ..wtf are you talking about

[squirell1952]

years ago, before the scandals, ninety something per cent of catholics went to mass/service every week. today, it's about THREE percent!!! Now, these are SOUTHERN Irish figures. But what about Protestant figures in Bonnie Scotland?

Before, and after, any scandals in any church. ~Did many protestants attend their local kirk at all? we like to call ourselves Christians yet we do not go to church to acknowledge the existence of a Higher Being. SO HOW CAN WE BE CHRISTIANS AT THE END OF THE DAY?

[mrturveydrop23]

@squirell1952 WHY ARE YOU WRITING THIS ON A BILLY CONNOLLY VIDEO?! Fuck off and write it where people actually give a shit!

[TheBlueGuard]

@squirell1952 And I'm sure the rate of crib death went down too, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with the lack of religious fervour. I'm fairly certain it has to do with people going out and trying to do something positive rather than sit on their ass and pray that something positive happens.

[Cathain78]

@TheBlueGuard

I'm sure Hitler considered himself as going out and ding something positive. In fact, history is full of people who decided to "go outand do something positive". Problem is that your opinion of what is / isn't positive is likely to be diferent to the next person's. If some people learned to sit on their @rse and do some praying, things might have turned out a bit better.

[karlosnod]

@squirell1952 like billy connolly said in one video. that's it religion is fucking over lads its fucking OVER!!!!!

[memeausluvv]

You wouldn't wanna kick your football in this f**ker's garden!!! Loooool!!!!!

[1lacuna]

Is it ironic that he gets annoyed when people complain about his smoking, and then he complains about another persons phone etiquette?

[MrClickity]

@1lacuna Not really, he's keeping himself isolated to an area that specifically allows smoking. If he walked into an area where everyone were already talking on cellphones and asked them to turn it off then yeah you'd have a point.

[BigBhuddaCheese]

He actually reminds me of my classical civilisation teacher at school, great with situational joke.

[dave2806]

i could listen to him all night long !

[MatthewDavidParr]

I had a laughing fit at:

1. If shes sensitive to smoke, whats she fuckin doin in here?

2. You've got every room in the hotel, outside with a wee cuppa tea tiddles

3. But you want MEEEEE to put it out so YOU can sit in the only room we're aloud TO FUCKING SMOKE!

4. I'm getting tired of the tobacco police 'waves hand'

5. A woman at a Glasgow hotel.

6. Biggest laughing fit was at 2:20 - 2:40.

[MatthewDavidParr]

Hahahaahahahhahahaha I know how he feels  hahahaaha

[bobthebanshee]

SWEET PANTS!

[warriorofwrestling]

Going to need to watch the bit after 'Smash you with a Coca-Cola bottle' again, I laughed my arse off through most of the rest of the clip :D

[RMAN1231]

Lmao !!! Am sorry , he is ranked in the top 100 in the world !!!! Ranked 73 , and people say he's the best !! Come on people , face it , 73 is not the best , an I do watch him just just get a laugh out of him trying to be funny

[andydale78]

@RMAN1231 If you read world rankings to see who's good and who's not, then you need to sort yourself out, he may be 73rd but at the end of the day, its personal preferance. I agree that billy is the number 1, couldn't care less about what anyone else says. from what you say, I can only assume that, when he had a number one, you thought Justin Bieber was the best singer in the world??

[dinkum93]

@RMAN1231 Yeah, because the subjective opinions of some critics is tantamount to gospel (citation needed by the way). Take your smug attitude and disdain, and piss the fuck off. Nobody needs someone like you to tell them anything, we're doing just fine without you.

[lezzabo]

@RMAN1231 thats just about the most stupid thing ive ever seen written down. if youre going to slag him off make an argument and use your brain, tell us who is better and why. dont just use a random poll with an unknown criteria that none of us have seen in place of a subjective opinion. fucking moron.

[RMAN1231]

How do u think this guy is funny , I have seen beginners here funnyer then him and u call him the best, come on people , u need to get out more and look around and then u will find people 10 times better them him

[Owible]

@RMAN1231 If you don't like him PISS THE FUCK OFF!!

[billyrfc1]

@RMAN1231 its all a matter of opinion, there could be comedians ranked out side the top 100 and some people may find them funnier than someone who is ranked in the top 10.

[babywithacrowbar]

"Ya wouldn't like to kick yer ball into this fucker's garden"

I love when he describes people that way, it just has me in knots!

[Owible]

1 guy has no sense of humor. THAT GUY CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF.

[atamolotov]

FLMAO @ Antreasach comment... so tru mate

[Baseballschaap]

hahaha xD "we're expecting friends!..."

"i don't give a fuck if you're expecting twins!"

Wit, you either have it or not ^^

[nath909]

And hey presto, he hits the nail on the head once again.

[Nathillien]

"You wouldn't like to kick your ball into this fucker's garden"

just brilliant

[DaarkDestiny]

Sit your ass or I'll smash ya with a coca cola bottle, jesus that is so fucking funny.

[lizzieboredom]

Right on Billy!

[Dorxtrance]

omfg LOL ay 1:50.. I have seen this done by the tobacco police.. they should just fuck of really

[mohanicus]

"and shes a big fuckin bitch,ya know"

i fuckin love that walk he does.(02:50)

even if it pops in me head somewhere i,ll piss meself laughin.

[carrieluvv]

THAT is a amn who is really sexy for his age

damn

[JONOCALDWELL]

cordless pjamas..brilliant.

[JoshTurner11]

I was in a beer garden having a cigarette, and one of these women did exactly the same routine of "we're expecting friends" i found myself quoting Billy's phrases. I nearly blew my eardrums out! Can't smoke inside or outside now, without all the tax from cigarettes the government would be fucked.

[jimmyforizzy]

cudnt agree more mate

[LukeD1uk]

HELL YES!!!

[BigCheekyBastard]

Thats a nice way to talk to a woman ............. You should have been put back in the cellar with your rotten fuckin cigars

[DirtyDirtracer2006]

fuckyaself

[abfahrtranqui]

"I don't have a cellphone... but we were the first family in the street with cordless... pyjamas" :)

[culturevulture123]

he was a BIT impolite, but that sensitive-to-smoke woman still shouldn't be in a bar!

[kevin0irish]

hahaha fucking greattttttttttt

A++++++++

[AnTreasach]

"But you want MEEEEEEE to put out, so as you can SIT in the only room we're ALLOWED TO F**KIN' SMOOOKE!?"

Unreal, kills me every time. Can't wait to see him in Belfast this Thursday!

[slutttibuttti]

Lucky you! the bastards no coming to glasgow a dont think haha D:

[friendsfan4eva456]

lmaoo hahaha =]

hes just the best comedian eva :)

wat a ledgend

x

[dynamix66]

i think we all love him coz he spaeks the truth and makes reality fekin hilariuous

[NecroReaperX]

1st post sorry

[NecroReaperX]

was, is and will always be a ledgend

(1 post. woot)