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From: nerimon
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  • In Christianity God using "us" and "we" is taken to refer to the Holy Trinity. In Judaism it is taken to mean that God is referring to himself and his host of angels.

  • @youtubinredneck Right? It's pretty freaking amazing. :)

  • the 'us' mentioned is the Holy Trinity btw big part of the whole Christian scheme

  • Tunics of skin: leather shirts. The first people were awesome and trendy.

  • I want this.. to continue.

  • I really like how he doesn't slam the bible even though he is an athiest, you are awesome, nerimon!

  • Can you do alex reads revelation? Its some pretty wack stuff

  • Please read the rest of the bible!

  • The Tree of Life is metaphorical for everlasting life in Heaven, God putting the Tree of Knowledge there is to reinforce his gift and ultimate point of our free will to choose Him, angels and all mostly happened before (for lack of a better, less temporally-attached word) creation, and also I'm glad you appreciate how beautiful the imagery is within the creation story. Etc, etc.

  • Thanks a lot God. Men aren't supposed to listen to us? Fuck that! I bow down to no man!

  • I love how this is in the Alex Reads Twilight playlist

  • Because of the geography and climate surrounding the likely setting of the creation story, the fruit could have been a pomegranate!

  • imagine a tree causing problems in the Sims

  • ive just watched all of the twilight videos solidly they are awesomely funny i actualy couldn't stop myself laughing which weird because im in a room on my own :P xxx

  • You should really do a video where you read Leviticus - It would be the most hilarious video ever! It's got all the old laws that basically is ... just ... mental!

  • Alex should read Deuteronomy. That'd be a laugh

  • In the vein of women being eternally punished for the fruit and all that, don't forget periods. Like God's little monthly reminder: hey, remember that time you disobeyed my divine will? Yeah, me too.

  • if God refers to himself as 'us', does that make Him a Jeordie?

  • 3:49 but really he made vaginas too small, also when someone tells you not to do something you are going to do it because now you are curious

  • My favourite thing is how you question almost every questionable fact in that book. lols.

  • What you have to understand is that the bible was translated from various languages and that not everything works with the context of today. E.g "just delete it".

  • Oh the good old fall of humanity

  • haha! now you have robert pattinson hair... ironic ;)

  • I hope he reads more.

  • @moondragon226 not everything in the bible is to be taken literally.

  • Cherubs are a type of angel, so they'd have been made when God created the heavens. Just saying. :w

  • the really sad thing...I do understand the bible a little bit more after this :D

  • heh funny I am watching this while on r/atheism

  • I find it ironic that a guy who doesn't even say he believes the events of the Bible has more respect for it than many who say they do.

  • Seems like the way God speaks sounds familliar to the way Gollum talks to himself...

    Fuck from now on God to me will be a witty half-evil creature fiddling about in the deeps of Moria...

  • when is the sims reference?

  • @maddycrazygal its at the bit where he talks about the sims...?

  • also the moon isnt its own light..... i do not understand how people can read the bible and believe what it says

  • actually.... it could not be a melon melons do not grow on trees

  • Well I dunno how YOU play Sims...

  • Just to clear up all the confusion I feel the need to say that Churches current believe of the bible is that the Old Testament is not a literal story. Most of it is interpretive imagery used to express a more philosophical idea, such as the concept or original sin in the creation story. I however think that the Churches standpoint is for convince considering the confusion it causes in many branches. Anyone who believes it is factual is just ill-informed.

  • @jackmh2o Well said sir.

  • John Green bobblehead in the back...?

  • love it how you casually offend christians and don't think about it... i don't love it bacause i'm a christian but yeah

  • a melon? on a tree??? LOL, it must of had massive branches!!

  • The reason God refers to himself as "us" and so on is because he is three in one: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

  • not all christians read the Bible in a contextual way though lol

  • @PotWeedKush I'm sorry to hear that, since you don't know me at all and therefore only have my beliefs upon which to make that judgement and, seeing as beliefs are only one aspect of a person, your judgement is a bit misguided. I wish you could know me for who I am, not for my beliefs.

  • you should read "children of a lost spirit", too! it brings you every emotion possible! and its about someone who gets kidnappped by sasquatch and lives with them. You would read it well. but unlike twilight it is not well-known and is ACTUALLY good.

  • LOL I'm trying to get a degree in religious studies and I have to admit the nerimon version is a much easier read then the hebrew or latin translations.

  • I really love when you read shit, it's brilliant. Please read more.

  • You need to be a better English person and read Milton's "Paradise Lost." It'll clear up a lot of your confusion.

  • Ok, I have a legitimate question. So Adam and Eve gave birth to Cain and Abel. Who were both boys. Then Cain killed Abel. Then exactly what happened to make the rest of the human population?

  • @MadelynMarieMusic You may think I am replying to clarify your question, but in reality, I am just as confused. I always assumed that either Adam and Eve had more children, or it was some sort of mother-son happy times.

  • @MadelynMarieMusic I'm quite sure they had a daughter, too, which Cain married.

  • Silly Alex! Melons don't grow from trees!

  • us = TRINITY

  • 3 people, actually. It's a reference to the Trinity

  • Alex, you have officially made reading the Bible way more fun. Thank you. :)

  • There is no God. Science 'n' shit invented the universe. Jus' sayin'

  • @rdoabvbiiees That's a fairly narrow minded argument

  • Alex. You make my life.

  • HA! my mate's called Eden.

    'he puts the man in Eden'

  • 'OH MAN THERE'S A SECOND TREE! Thats a plot twist.'

  • ermmm. melons do not grow on trees

  • tunics of skin = tunics of hides/furs... yeah.

  • I love the way he just brings the Sims into it <3

  • oh, this was hilarious. i mean, what a ridiculous way to explain...and the man over woman part is wrong in so many ways...*sigh*

    oh, and thanks btw, it's the first time i ever heard anything form the bible, i mean, i knew it was corrupted and there was no point in reading it.

    and, why would there be a tree of life in they were in heaven?i mean, you're immortal in heaven coz your souls lives in heaven so that tree was a bit unnecessary...

  • @sparkydoodle96 They were not in heaven! Obviously. Sigh. They were in the Garden of Eden, which is on Earth.

  • @Emilyyllove but shouldn't they be in heaven? and they should be kicked out of heaven when they eat the forbidden fruit. because they were told not to and they disobeyed. at least it's that way i know...

  • @sparkydoodle96 Well God created Adam and Eve on the Earth (because it was whilst he was basically creating everything). So they arent in heaven. Also the evil serpent represents the devil, and there is obviously nothing evil in heaven.

  • @Emilyyllove didn't the earth created after they disobeyed the only rule?and evil became evil after seducing them?or because he was jealous of them- i'm not sure about that part. but i know that they weren't created on earth, it was their exile.

  • @sparkydoodle96 Well they were in the Garden of Eden, which is on Earth. The Earth WAS perfect before they sinned but after they sinned he made them leave the Garden. Also, ALL the animals used to be vegetarians but since Adam and Eve sinned, the animals (like lions and stuff) started killing other animals.

  • @sparkydoodle96 Herp derp.

  • first sentence of kur'an is "read in the name of Allah who created."

  • Reminds me of Ricky Gervais' reading of the bible.. funny that. Anyone who liked this check Ricky's reading of Noah's Ark.. :)

  • Oh, the trolling. I'm going to dip my toe into the churning waters of argument and just say, as a Christian, I believe every word of the Bible. Please don't judge me, since I'm still human and I'm not going to shove my beliefs down your throats. I respect others, and I hope you respect me, despite any differences in beliefs we may have. Thanks.

  • @ladymaid20 you shouldnt believe every word of the bible, some are meant to be interpreted or are over exaggerated

  • @ladymaid20 I can't help but think that you must be of inferior intelligence.

  • @ladymaid20 the old testament is prooven to be wrong! it's origion is from nomads telling storys around the campfier (like we tell ghost storys) and nomads wasn't that smart. just saying

    btw im a christian aswell

    and the shit about jesus weking up from the dead is fake! he just got burrid 1 day later!

  • @ladymaid20 that's deep.

  • @ladymaid20 If you believe every word of the bible, we shouldn't respect you. You're a woman, it says so in the bible.

  • @ThorangeNova You should stop juding people.

  • @gordyb118 I'm not judging anyone, That's what it says in the bible.

  • take the cherub to Adam and says "what'd you call this?" "cherub" ( shrug ) LOL :D

  • Fun fact: the plural of cherub is actually cherubim.

    And by fun, I mean boring. But it's still the best plural ever.

  • Even as God punishes them, he sacrifices an animal and uses its skin to create clothing to cover their sin. That's called foreshadowing, folks!

  • All of the arguments I just wasted three minutes of my life reading is an embodiment of how controversial the world is over a book written by uneducated people centuries ago in an attempt to control a society of people without laws or people to enforce those laws. MY OPINION DON'T GO AND GET YOURSELF OFFENDED. ;)

  • I love how you're reading stuff now :P

  • I don't remember the bible saying that God was the only god, just that he's the only god that should be worshiped because of his superiority. :/

  • @MuJunyi from the way i've had it taught to me, in the old testament he says that there are possibly other gods but he's the only one that matters. the christians and the new testament don't really follow that doctrine and instead believe that he is the only one ever. i could be wrong, but that's the way i've heard it.

  • @missyemmy93 Yeah, that's how I remember it

  • That was nice

  • a guava or a melon XD

  • Comment removed

  • Being a Christian, I feel the need to just leave a comment. I am in no way trying to attack anyone or their beliefs, I'm just giving my say. 'Us' and 'We' is referring to the triune God, I am sure you're aware of the Father, Son (Jesus), and Holy Spirit, three different persons in one God.Thanks for not completely making fun of Christianity, you didn't rip it apart, so thanks. If anyone reading this has a question about the Christian faith, ask me! Just be respectful please.

  • @raybayybayy Thank you awesome comment

  • @raybayybayy I thought the "us" was referrring to the male and female aspects of God. When Genesis was written there was no Holy trinity (the old testament doesnt have anything about Jesus in it), but it is mentioned in the old testament that God has both male and female aspects, like God, the father, and mother nature rolled into one. Im Jewish btw so what I was taught may be a bit different.

  • @Bregmaiden I know a lot of Jews and i've read the old testament a fair few times and never once has anyone i've ever talked to ever said god is both male and female, and Jesus is mentioned plenty of times in the old testament, but the Catholics have convinced a majority of other Christians that when he's mentioned it's really referring to god, they even have other Christians thinking Jesus is god rather than the son of god who is separate from God.

  • haha mans helper

  • and that is why im an atheist...because i have common sense and there is no way in hell that we were made from mucus and dust.

  • @158276pupers but you are prepared to believe we are made from stardust. Not religious before stereotypical "blah blah ignorance blah blah you're a redneck stop saying gods real blah blah" response

  • I'm actually learning about this in my Hebrew Scriptures class and in John 1:1 it says "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God." We learned that John was saying that the Word was Jesus and Jesus had been with God since the beginning and that is why He refers to Himself as two people.

  • I just wanted to thank you for not completely making fun of it.. you do have some subscribers that think you are hilarious but don't necessarily believe everything that you do. I agree that some things in the Bible are confusing, and I believe that in a way it is a little out dated. Anyway, thank you. I still found this funny.

  • didn't God make the tree of life and knowledge? didn't God make the serpent? didn't God know they would get tempted and still chose to blame it on them?

  • I am really impressed with the respectful comments on this video. Also, the way Alex set up the video so that it was funny and respectful at the same time. Personally, I'm an atheist, but I think that religious and non-religious people can be way too angry about their beliefs. It's great to see everybody getting along (well, as much as you can get in youtube comments)

  • @yinyangbookworm Was thinking the same thing! I'm sort of maybe Catholic (still deciding lol), but I found this pretty funny. I was completely expecting another all out religious/atheist comment war - but (mostly) everyone is being so nice :) Gotta say it's really cool, obviously nerimon subscribers are pretty awesome people :P :)

  • Um, I think I may have few explanations... for one (on the last thing you said), cherubs are like mini angels, but made out of stone. So those things you see in graveyards, the angels? Yeah, those are cherubs. And when he starts calling the man "Adam," I believe there are some versions that refer to him still as "the man," because there's a little footnote at the bottom of mine that says, "or the man." I imagine snakes had legs before, and they were banished as punishment.

  • Eve is very similar to Pandora

    both Hebrews and Greeks liked to blame stuff on women

  • I appreciate the respectful commentary, even though you don't believe it =)

  • I'm a Christian and this is hillarious XD I don't believe most of the Bible...God didn't write it himself.

  • god is like gollum. talking in second person.

  • @ifoundthatfun you mean third person?

  • The Angels (cherubs) where around before the earth was created in the Bible. The Bible is not written in chronological order. So sometimes it doesn't make sense until later.

  • The analogy between God and Sims is a moment of pure genius!

  • I really don't think that so much has changed since Eden that melons grew on trees...

    Fruit of the TREE of the knowledge of good and evil? Just sayin'...

  • You realize I'm going to have to write a book with a first line of "In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.", right?

  • @Diabetty115 Its actually believed to be a pomegranite.

  • I enjoyed this reading of creation, it was great. :)

  • lmao, yeah god just delete it hahaha

  • Gosh, I never realized how fucking sexist the Bible is. That's one more reason why I'm Agnostic. Hilarious video, I love this guy's humor. x3

  • @FearKissers You realise that beeing an atheist and beeing an atheist doesn't contradict each other. every agnostic is an atheist and pretty much the other way arround.

  • @travissokol Um, no, that's completely wrong. Agnostic means I know that there is something out there that rules over us, but Humans cant possibly know what it is because we are so closed minded. Atheist means "the absence of theism". Don't tell me about my own beliefs, thanks.

  • @FearKissers i won't think any less of you for believing that since it is a widely spread mistake but infact are they per definition answers to diffrent questions which are not necessarily but quite probably linked. Here the explanation:

    Agnostic: You are agnostic if you answer to the question "Is there a god?" with " i Don't know"

    Atheistic:If you are Agnostic by the definition above you will answer to the question;

    "Do you believe in god ?"(a yes or no question) with "no".

  • @travissokol No, you aren't understanding. Agnostics believe in SOMETHING. Atheists believe in NOTHING. THAT is the difference, and it is a big one. Calling an Atheist an Agnostic and an Agnostic an Atheist is offensive. You're right, those might be the respective belief's answer, and they are completely different. Look it up online, read a book; they are two separate things.

  • @FearKissers you haven't understood agnosticism then but thats ok ..google it .(seriously google it and then come back)

  • I'm a Christian and know this story well, but I'm impressed that you pointed out that the fruit is not specifically mentioned! Do you know how many Christians assume it's an apple? Thanks for pointing that out!

  • This is perfect(:

  • and that's why i dont believe...

  • btw. I think that Adam &Eve were immortal before and part of their punishment was to become mortal and that's why there was suddenly a tree of life...

  • As a Chrsitian who has watched you reading twighlight I was a tad paranoid about what you'd say but the first sentance reassured me "That's the most epic first sentance of all time!!!"

  • When God is speaking about himself as more than one person, he is talking about the holy trinity, The father, the son, and the holy ghost(spirit).

  • "theres a second-oh hang on-ther are two trees OH WOW! that was a plot-twist" :P

  • I believe in the Bible and God but I'm so excited for this. Are you going to read it all? That would be long... oh and it was a fig, because they got the leaves from the same tree and they were fig leaves that they used to clothe themselves. And also before serpents were almost like people, they had arms and legs and a voice, actually all animals had a voice. But yeah, that's it...

  • @FangedWolf56 Jesus hadn't been born on earth yet. Lots of people hold the view that Since Jesus "came down from heaven" then he was around always as prt of the Trinity. Excuse my incoherency and poor grammar.

  • please alex please alex please alex PLEASE. I always judged twilight as an awful book. but you have opened my eyes to the fact that twilight might be the best work of comedy ever. so please. to make life manageable, read me breaking dawn. just please.

  • THANKS ALOT EVE! Now we women have to endure pain because your dumbass ate a freaking apple -_- (I'm Christian, but I just HAD to point this out..)

  • @AsherMarieLovesYou we technically aren't aware that it was an apple (thank you alex)

  • @englishworms I know, but I just picture it an apple xD

  • @AsherMarieLovesYou Sorry, but what the fuck. God decided since one woman did something wrong, ALL FUTURE WOMEN WILL BE PUNISHED. What the fuck, what an asshole thing to do. Sounds like it was written by sexist tribesmen from a few thousand years ago...oh wait

  • @milkyway531 but...he punished the man..too...? And also the serpent.

  • @LeahCity how did he punish man? And that's also messed up , all snakes being punished for the actions of one?

  • @milkyway531

    1. @4:02

    2. Obviously, it was a big deal. They had a perfect, whole, life. It was suddenly thrust into a world of sin. Just because she wanted to taste a mango or something haha! no fruit is that delicious lol

    3. poor snakes :( I guess they were like salamanders that were really long?? All i can imagine is it looking something like Figment the dragon xD

  • @milkyway531 if u decide to study the scriptures u wuld understand that the sins and goodness of the father will be passed to the son and since eve is the first mum it will be to all women.

  • @milkyway531 Except that the idea of sexism is only like 80 years old, before that women knew their places.

  • @mynameismatt2010 go fuck yourself. i hope you get cancer

  • @milkyway531 Lol too late, now go make me a sandwich.

  • @mynameismatt2010 I'm not even a girl

  • @milkyway531 Implying that only women can make sandwiches? 0.o That's sexist!

  • @mynameismatt2010 Don't be a fucking kid. You obviously made a sandwich joke because you thought I was a woman, and sandwich jokes are unfortunately popular. I just pointed out that I'm not w woman, therefore you joke is invalid

  • @milkyway531 You insult my maturity while also cursing, how contradictory. All i said was make me a sandwich, you took it to mean i was calling you a woman, which means you assume the joke can only apply to women.

    This kind of convoluted double talk and back speech is what you get when you get hung up on PC. It's not a big deal to say things that people find offensive, like women need to be in the kitchen, or to use the word fag or gay. It's no big deal till you decided to be offended.

  • @mynameismatt2010 I'm sorry, i didn't know cursing, a show of emotion, is immature. And because just about 100% kitchen jokes do apply to women. When was the last time you heard a kitchen joke said to a guy (hint: never). And you're all wrong. It's offensive- that's why people make a big deal. Grow out of that little world of yours

  • @milkyway531 You didn't know that not being able to limit your vocabulary to that of an adult was a sign of maturity? Hmm...

    About 100% means it's not 100% and the last time i heard a kitchen joke directed at someone who isn't a woman was the last time i made a kitchen joke.

    "Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charlton Heston"

    It's hard to even address the absurd notion of words being innately offensive. Offence is taken, not given. Until you take offence, it's not offensive.

  • @mynameismatt2010 I think you should stop arguing about who is more immature... over the internet. A lot of perfectly mature people swear, Stephen Fry for example. And, to use a quote as you did, (tiny bit pretentious, by the way)

    "The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or of a lack of verbal interest is just fucking lunatic,"

    Would you say Mr. Fry is immature and undignified?

  • @KatnissUchiha Considering i have no idea whpo that ism sure, and also, if you read the comments and think the "argument" is about maturity then you're missing the point.

    Just because they're rarely directed at men doesn't mean they can't be. It happen all the time where i'm from, when you say it to a man it's just that much more of an insult.

    Also, the point of my replying is that the reason he feels insulted is because he's choosing to be. Either he'll shut up or realize that it's his choice.

  • @mynameismatt2010 Stephen Fry is extremely famous - he's been in a Nerimon video, and does Charlieissocoollike's outro. But, he does a lot more than that. Basically, he is known for being intelligent.

    You just said it makes it more of an insult... than argue he shouldn't be insulted? I'm sorry, but that makes no sense to me.

    If going back and forth saying the other person is immature is not an argument about maturity... then I did completely miss the point. If arguing over the net has one..

  • @mynameismatt2010 Anyway, my whole point is cant we all play nice and just enjoy the videos? And not fill up the comments with insults and arguments? Life's too short to waste on stuff like this :)

  • @KatnissUchiha Life lasts an average of 65 years and most people spent about 41% of that time sleeping, i don't mind spending a fraction of a fraction of that time educating people on their many hypocrisies.

    I agree, you must have missed the point entirely, but that's ok, you did jump in on someone else's conversation so it was bound to happen.

  • @mynameismatt2010 just because the average is 65 years, doesn't mean yours will be. And, If that long is spent sleeping then it's under 40 years.

    I'd appreciate it if you'd be less condescending and belittling. I'm not an idiot.

    You must forgive me for trying to make the world a better place by trying to break up an argument. Next time, I wont waist my time on someone who clearly is incapable of showing respect. I'm not going to argue about it, because that would make me a hypocrite. Goodbye.

  • @KatnissUchiha Incapable and unwilling are two vastly different concepts, i learned young that respect is only shown by people who are trying to hide how they really feel. I refuse to show respect when i don't have any towards a person because it would be a lie and it would be pointless. I neither ask for nor deserve your respect and you don't deserve mine. However i do appreciate that you can distinguish your own hypocrisy and have made an effort to end it.

    I enjoyed this, i hope you did too.

  • @mynameismatt2010 I keep trying to end this, but you keep throwing in a comment at the last minute that I find ridiculous! My belief is that everyone deserves respect, and only once you know who they are can you make a judgement. If the world were full of people who thought like you it would be a horrible place, and everyone would just take whatever they wanted.

    Now, can we just leave it as it is, because I hate online arguments! But I guess this is more a debate now... Agree to disagree?

  • @KatnissUchiha People should say what they feel. If i see a person who i think is a twat and i have to interact with them i'm not going to hold myself back from calling them a twat. The world would be a more honest place, people would be more motivated for self improvement, and people would be much happier because the stress of trying not to offend people wouldn't be bearing down on them.

    Also, the word debate is much better, arguments generally involve animosity.

  • @mynameismatt2010 ok agree to disagree. You have your views, I have mine. It's not worth arguing/debating about. We aren't going to change eachothers opinions. So having an argument is entirely pointless. (See, in a round about way, I've proven my point.)

    That's it, I refuse to go on about this. So just don't say anything controversial, ok?

  • @mynameismatt2010 You should probably learn to be quiet because youre making a fool of yourself. You sound as hipocritical as a christain.

  • @sickasorpheus I seem hypocritical? Really? In what way?

    And all Christians are hypocrites? That's a pretty broad generalization considering that the Christian teaching are in no way hypocritical and only the moronic Catholics are really in anyway a generally hypocritical group. If you wanted to use a group of hypocrites it should have been parents or something. You just sound stupid calling one of the three most widely held belief systems entirely hypocritical.

  • @mynameismatt2010 Hahaha! Parents are more broad than christains I'll point out. Parents=people and there are a ton of different people and parenting skills. To me just because christianity is a big relgion, that doesn't mean anything.I will say that they aren't all that way. Haha I am aware of that.

    But it's not just catholics, another generalization you made. We make them-so what? That's how I feel. So, I'm not planning to argue with you. You shouldn't be so angry. Theres better things to do.

  • @mynameismatt2010 Also, sandwich jokes are 100% directed towards women. That's the whole joke. Rarely would you hear one directed at a man, and not very many people would find it funny. It's practically a whole internet meme - directed solely at women. So, you can understand why it can be taken as a given that you are calling someone a women.

    Also, I don't really care if you call me immature, or a girl. Because I am. I'm a teenage girl.

    So shake hands with @milkyway531 and agree to disagree?

  • oh the bible... you are so sexist

  • Is it bad Im laughing so hard? The Sims refference got me xD

  • worst story ever

    so the moral of the story is: you're better off being a fucking idiot and don't act for yourself