Added: 4 years ago
From: vitalcoaching
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  • I dunno about this... lol most people i talk to here they are so self-centered, i don't wanna be talking to just everyone then like make friends with a really self-centered person. It's like i try to talk to them and i let them talk but soon as i talk they are just like "whatever everyone should only listen to me" they don't have to say it becuse i just get that impression from them when they walk away over to their friends, seems like a lot of people here don't have their own mind no more.

  • you are soo good!

  • @SomethinBugs thanks!

  • ya ... women have a problem to pick up men ?

  • the guy i like is shy and never talks much. I wanna know how to break the ice without being too intimidating. I dont wanna creep him out. Does anyone know what i can do?

  • I think it would look weird if I smile and try to get eye contact with older men. I am 14 years old.... Hahaa.

  • thx

  • So simple! Sounds like great advice, I'm definitely gonna try this, thanks!

  • *MICS (dear iPhone spellcheck, I KNOW WHAT I AM TYPING!!!)

  • I'm shy, and the guy I like is shy, too. (I see him once a week) last week, we "clicked" and we were cutting up and having a pretty good time. but this week, he just kinda, i dont know, ...didn't. (I caught him looking at me a lot though. We sing in the choir at my church, and we didn't have a lot of time to talk because the mica were on) I'M SO CONFUSED :P

  • I like my shyness with guys , infact I find it good. It eliminates me from connecting with guys who go clubbing, or is insensitive,or not the special kind of guy I'm looking for. It also gives me a insight on males behavior (sorry for making it seem like its the discovery channel xD but it's true). I use my introvert ways aswell to connect on deeper relationships (on friend, family, or partner). There is also ways I figured out on how to use shyness as a tool even to flirt.

  • @KisaAndHiro sounds good! well done! it looks like your shyness is a really a tool or attitude that you use wisely and master, which is perfect! It is not an emotion or state of mind that overpowers you or enslaves you, so what you describe is fantastic - I like that a lot - thanks for sharing that one

  • @KisaAndHiro You're an absolute idiot, you have the same self-obsessed mentality that all females have. You are not unique in your thinking nor are you special. I feel sorry for any nice guy that gets involved with someone like you, he's really gonna get fucked around.

    The truth is why should nice guys get involved with your average lousy, narcissistic and hopelessly self-pitying woman?

  • @Maglobrog self-obssesed then i wouldnt be looking deeper on behavior. And you shouldnt : 3 im in a happy relationship for more than 5 years and getting married soon all my relationships in the past lasted more than 2 years. : ) but you know who i feel sorry for? you ...apperently you had a lousy lovelife : ) sowwy

  • @KisaAndHiro I feel sorry for your fiance, he'll realize he is making a big mistake once he is married.

    Years mean nothing, there are married couples who have been together for forty years and hate each other.

    Have a nice married life : )

  • I'm not shy. The problem is guys are shy with me. I don't know why but wen I try talkin to them, they won't make eye contact and fidget a lot. Why? :(

    Is it just cos they're 15?

  • @Ilyanna28 yes, teenagers often tend to lack confidence when it comes to relate to girls - also if you are too direct, it can intimidate them a bit

  • i really like this guy at my school, but i hardly know him. and i have no problem connecting with most people, even guys im just not interested in. but when it comes down to the real deal, i panic! what should i do?

  • im just horrible with connecting with people. im not that funny so i cant make most people laugh and im afraid people will think im weird if i randomly start talking to them. but ill test it out :)

  • @Kerazyabbiejadeshow yes! go for it - this is simply a skill that you train and practice - if you do that a lot, you can become quickly really good at it - let me know how it goes...

  • but what if it starts off great, you know instant connection, but then it fades off? ):

  • @HateLoveApathetic you don't have to stretch it - you can have a quick connection and meet again another time if you like the guy

  • I don't have a problem interacting w/ men. It's when they start flirting like gazing for more than 7 seconds and smiling that makes me shy and at a lost at what to do.

  • @Cdel2006 just smile and be comfortable with a moment of silence - often body language says a lot - it a fantastic flirting tool

  • Bad advice. As a shy guy, if a woman came into the room making eye contact with every guy in there, smiling and talking to them - it would not give me the impression she was into me. If she did come over and start talking, I would guess she was just being friendly and does that to everyone.

    Maybe for the stud guys like this here "coach" it would work. Those guys would start rubbing themselves up against a table leg if it looked at them sideways.

  • This is excellent insight. If you're practiced at talking to those you aren't interested in, you can apply that to when you talk to those you are interested in.

    The difference between talking to those you are and are not interested in is whether you care if they appear interested in you. Its easier to talk to someone you don't care about because you aren't afraid they won't like you. That way you are yourself. Practicing that is exactly what will help.

    Good advice, coach!

  • HELP!!!! I'm dating a guy and im starting to lose intrest I met this new guy today I I got a spark or watevere you call it but I don't wanna break the other guys heart what do I do

  • @kagome12351 do something fun with the guy you are already dating and accept the fact that you can have a spark for someone else - doesn't mean that you have to act on it - I know you posted this a while ago - are you still with your bf? what happened?

  • Question for you, coach. What if the guy you like is shy and you're trying to break him out of his shell a bit to get to know him better?

  • @OldSkoolAngel start slowly - don't go too fast - give him space to be comfortable with you - with shy guys, you might need some patience... let me know how it goes, ok?

  • @vitalcoaching You are so nice! and this is a great video. Thanks!!

  • @aeptacon Your welcome! thanks for these warms words ;) appreciated!

  • Please keep in mind Asian ladies online lushfmlk.info

  • Love your accent man!

  • @Bambi5962 thanks Bambi!

  • I don't know where your from but I love your accent. Thanks for the advice! =)

  • omg I can't stop looking at your sunglasses i don't even know what you are talking about!!! its probably really helpful but i really cant stop looking

  • i'm 36 and very timid i,seem to look away when i,notice i'm being watched i,can't believe it's a video for this subject thankx!

  • AMAZING! YOU ARE A LOVE GURO!

  • What's werid is when ever I think about my crush I get butterflies in my stomach xD And he's in three of my classes at school and nearly every time after class we always talk :)

  • am only shy when it's a cute guy i can't manage to be myself

  • omgg wow, it works...... he asked me out.

  • awww how awesome are you?! i'm gonna try this because I can understand what you mean, i see how the "warming up" will make me less shy. and you're right it will be a small risk but there is so much to gain :)

    Thank you.

  • this really help but. i dont know if he likes me or not. we have the same math class together we sit next to each other i see him looking at me from the corner of my eye every couple seconds. i think he is cute too but im not very sure he feels the same. what should i do?

  • make a video for guys please

  • break the ice ladies.. that would get to me every time..

  • sounds like dracula aha but nice imma try it XD

  • Why do all great tips come from guys with nice accents? I honestly do need to "open my communication channels"... I'm okay with talking to girls. It's the guys that I have a problem with :P

  • Comment removed

  • oh my god this is exactly how i feel everytime i go out with my friends when we go clubbing i feel fine around people i know but i feel awkward when around guys! i'm soooo going to try your advice next time we hit the clubs, thanks for the advice!

  • im not saying it isnt gud but not bad either... BUT has any1 noticed that its 3 years ago.. THREE... maybe times change and so do people... u shud update this for u know *todays point of view*...

  • l0l im not shy when i talk to strangers / schoolmates but im like MAJORLY SHY WHEN i talk to guys xD i searched for how to flirt we my hot classmate !! l0l

  • good advice

  • Wow, you know, that is really good advice. Cuz when you think about, it's true.

    I'm definitally gunna try that, cuz winter formal is right around the corner!

  • you shouldn't take advice from elton john's son.....

  • jaja i love this video :] vry true and good advice, btw where's ur accent from?

  • you are a shit lover

  • wow you idiot

  • Good video! I am rarely shy with men, I am very shy with many girls because I get uncomfortable, due to sexual attraction! lol I am bi though, because I can fall for people of both sexes, but I prefer women. There's something so special about being with a woman, I wish I could find a girl that had a good head on her shoulders, didn't play head games, and was funny! He ha good video

  • Could be helpful. My problem is I'm fine and comfortable with guys until I start to have feelings for them then I get shy...

  • omg same here!! if i dnt like someone then im fine and i tlk and play around with them all the time! and then when i start to like them i cant even sit beside them without feeling..weird..u kno?

  • same here exactly lol and iam a boy

  • @LittlePinky82 omg so true, and also, im comfy b4 dating a guy like friend status, but when we're finally "official" its like *blush* *nervous* i get all shy and different XD im sucha dweeb -_-`

  • @LittlePinky82 the exact problem i have :(

  • IT WORKED! I tried this week and finally got my crush to notice me!! THANKS!

  • Excellent! well done!

  • @playmeh1994 hihi how cute!! indeed, vitalcoach is gooodd

  • thank you so much this is great advice!

    It is easier for me to talk to anyone now! I am not as hesistant to just talk to people at school that I already know! and I have more confidence I am not as quiet :D

  • excellent! glad to hear that! well done! ;) - keep thriving

  • before i went go out this night i watched this video

    just did the last part of the vid, and guess what- IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i smiled and had fun, and there were boys from everywhere talking :)

    and, the best part is: IVE KISSED THE HUNK OF HUNKS!!!! :D

    thanx for the information!!!!

  • whaou! well done! Impressive!

  • I think they like the flavor, love.

    Not the texture. D:

  • good advice...dont try to connect with strange children in public though. That's just weird.

  • HAHHAHAHHAHA building your self confidence by talking with children, lool. Oh my

  • Then at 3 am in the morning, I saw them back when i was ready to go home. And he was all the time looking straight at me(sometimes he looked back), but I didn't know if he was just tired/drunk or interested in me.

    Another problem with me is that i am slow in reaction when someone makes a reaction that he likes me. Then in one time he turned back around and I couldn't react.

  • I am usually a bit shy, but when I dance I am not shy(people say sometimes i dance sensual). And when there's a party, i am usually the first who will start to dance. One time, there were 3 guys dancing in my neigbourhood. And there was a southern song who began and I started dancing southern too and one guy reacted like "whoo". But I didn't know if he liked it or that he mocked at me. And then in some minutes, I didn't see them anymore.

  • Also, guys hate lipgloss when they are kissing you.

  • really???

  • sooooooooo true, and I stop wearing it. I wear vaseline now!

  • where the hell did you hear that:) lol - Guys LOVE lipgloss - Mmmmmm

  • There's a different way to see if a guy likes you and to start a convo. You think up a question that 'your friend asked you to ask around' and you ask you crush that one question. The question that I always use is 'How many relationships do you have? Both friends and girl/boy friends'

  • ok that advice is pretty good, but some people are so shy they cant even approach people confidently enough to talk to anyone around them and then the whoel thing wont work! I'll try it though

  • I don't like being talked to, least of all by strangers.. :P

  • If you smile at a guy and he doesnt smile back it can knock your confidence- and you won't try it again- especially if you're shy. Plus, if you do that to every guy then you could attract unwanted attention ;-( but as long as he stays within the boundaries- that you set- any 'good' attention is good for the confidence ;-)

  • you se t"noundaries"?? women are so patetihic

    Bitch shield will make u a loser girl, like all the frustrated women

  • Us men can also, of course,have problems but women tend to have many more hang ups about their bodies,etc, and although the advice in this video is good,it's not going to do much for women with deep-seated problems.

  • Your tips make sense, but in order to let us receive your 'communication channels' you should have taken the shades off. They're a TOTAL blocker.

    You should know that, no?! :D

  • im so sorry im a guy and ino it says only girls, but cmon im a guy and im curious. Anyways i just wanted to say how the hell do u know when sum1 is rather shy or playing hard to get?

  • You can't really know for sure I guess but one thing you should not do is assume that a girl is "unshy" just because she's hot or prettier than average.

    Don't feel intimidated by her looks, talk to her in a nice friend-like way and then you'll probably notice how shy she is. Hope it goes well ;)

  • trust me you would know.

  • I always talk to guys, I always talk to girls, I am extremely social. My teachers ALWAYS yell at me. I just dont know how to talk to him. We always used to talk but since we found out that we liked each other its been akward. Idk what I should do to connect with him..

  • once u get an answer...hook me up....im mad shy...more so the guys i like....i never really knew how to connect with people since i dont really get out much...my parents r so strict

  • Well it's a lot easier to talk over the computer. Try to get his screename. Thats an awesome way to start off cuz then you dont have to look each other in the eyes. Once you talk a lot there for like a week or 2 it makes it a lot easier to appraoch them in person. You can go off a topic you were talking about on the computer. Plus it gives you a better idea of who this person is, their personality. Try it out

  • *nods* (:

  • great idea!I will try it

  • I'm gonna start practicing that tonight with my cat...

    I keep you updated

  • lol

  • the shades hahhaa,, nway flirting better rather ur the one be the victims!

  • this is hilarious I didn't even care about you were saying, u look funny

  • yo....i cant smile and make eye contact like all the time cuz than i start feeling like a weirdow...like a maniac!! pffffff......!

  • hahaha shades.

  • way to go!!

  • i have no problem making small short conversations with ppl once they come up to me to talk but i have a serious issue approaching ppl i don't know that definitely don't know me. i never know what to say. i need some help forming some conversation starters i guess. any suggestions?

  • if u need convo startrs... try saying stuff like "r u interested in (subject here)" that works for me

  • c'mon with the shades

  • hahahaha

  • he's amazing! gosh, i would never have thought of that even though it's the simplest thing in the world!

    i love how he says starbucks :D

  • i accdidentally rated it 1 star but i didnt mean to lol i wuld rate it 5 star lol

  • im shy, that what makes me smile everytime! I start smiling like retard. But almost everytime i just CAN NOT make eye contact. The longest i could hold when im shy, is probly like 10 sec. How do i over come that???

    Thanx for the vid!

  • @ITouchHot 10 secs is already too long,esp for a shy person like u.mine doenst even last 5 secs.lol!

  • You're cool :)

  • yes. your saying it's easy, but what are you going to say after hi??

    That is the problem.

    How to go up to someone and just start a conversation.

  • this is really useful. I never thought of it that way. I think the more I do approach random people, the more I will be able to approach, not so random people. ;)

  • You're cool man!!

  • thanks!

  • I'm not shy, but I have always had a problem with taking the first step and start a conversation cause I don't know what to say! Now I'm will go out and try my best to start an conversation with at least 1 person per day, and then more people as i feel safer doing it. Wish me luck:D

  • Hmmm.... I'm usually not incredibly shy (not anymore) when it comes to talking to people. I mean, I am a little, but I'll do it sometimes anyway, you know? But when it comes to the guy I like...that's a different story! But I am currently talking to him. I have a hard time being me though. I've gotten better, but I don't know how to be me straight out. Do you think it just takes time or is there something else? Obviously I try and I have gotten better, but is there something else I should know?

  • again, practice a lot with ANYONE, not just him! ;)

  • i can never just talk 2 someone next 2 me on the train way 2 shy 4 even that let alone talking 2 a guy i like

  • thats how you start take little steps, start on the train. make a little comment about something to someone. it can be small nothing big thats how you gain confidence to chat then you can can o to the next step

  • I don't get it...women watching videos about how to approach guys? I am a guy and virtually no women have approached me in my entire life! I didn't think they even did it. This makes me feel really horrible. I didn't think i was that unattractive.

  • Try approaching women then. A lot of girls out there wait for the guy to make the first move.

  • heeeeeey maan, women are human too

  • iam sooo shy when it comes to guys, ive always waited for them to approach me, and now theres this guy at my work, also goes to my school, that im majorly crushing on. hes soo sweet, and always helping me, but i can never talk to him about anything more than work. whenever he comes my way, i just pretend like im busy or something, and i REALLY want to talk to him.

  • practice talking with other guys you are not interested in - this will get your conversations skills going...

  • I'm only shy with guys I really like..others isn't a problem. Not sure how to overcome this by chatting with all people.

  • i have the same problem! i hate it too :P

  • same here. argh

  • ya i have the same problem, its just this guy i met at school. The first time I saw him i fell in love, and i can talk to other guys but just not him. I can look at him straight in the eye but its just talking, and the wrst thing is he knows that i like him!!

  • I'm like that at well. (But overtime, with practice it will lessen.) To overcome shyness you need to reasure yourself and learn that there is nothing intimidating.. you are better to more beautiful than you think. :)

  • okyy what bout if i guy comes up to you to like just ask stupid questions like what period i have next and then walks away?? what does that mean?

  • That means he was showing interest in you and just wanted to start a conversation. Stupid questions are usually a tell-tale signs of flirting

  • why cant they make stuff like this for gay guys damn ...and if u wanna comment something negatice about what i said u can feel free to cuz when i recieve the e-mails about someone who responded to my comment i just delete them instantly ...i dont give a flying fuck about what u have 2 say about my response to this video or any video im out

  • Ok I'll start from today :P!! Yay! I like this challenge :)

  • Excellent! yes! Go for it!

  • lets say that...a guy knows i like him but im not sure he likes me back. in almost every class i must sit next to him and thers this akwardness. wat do i do so we can talk???

  • tease him on something he is wearing or something he does - Challenging him a bit is a great way to break the ice ;)

  • suppose the guy is walking ahead of you; he's alone, not in a hurry, and theres noone around. I feel the "need" to take advantage of this situation. How should i start the conversation so that i can at least learn his name? ??

    thanks in advance :D

  • start with an opinion opener - something like:

    "You sound like a smart guy... What your favorite place to go out in this city?..."

    "So that's where you would go with your friends..."

    "Etc."

    Guys are usually pleasantly surprised when a flirty girl approaches them that way.

    Go for it!

  • Aw YOUR cute love your gap in your teeth its tooo cute!!!!!

  • thanks ;)

  • When I try to smile it doesn't go to my eyes, they stay cold and I look like I'm actually glaring, I'm intimidating how do I make my smile go to my eyes?

  • practice in frint of the mirror - think of shining, not just smiling - Actors and tv personalities practice that a lot

  • I am shy and he knows I am shy but, when i get up the courage to talk to him he will walk away or he won't talk to me. What do I do? Should I FOR GET ABOUT HIM OR KEEP TRYING.What do I DO???

  • i'm 15 and i know this guy from school, at first i hated him (he's popular =D), but then when we had to sit next to each other in class during the whole year almost, and he was really nice, he was flirting with me a lot and always making me laugh, but now school's done and i haven't heard anything from him, probably because nothing special happened, i really want to talk to him or at least chat with him on the internet, but i don't want him to think i'm a stalker,i don't know what to do!!

  • Trust me, i have A LOT of experience. Never stop yourself from doing something that you think will sound to "Stalker-ish" because if you dont do it, some other girl will and in the end she'll actually have the guy but you wont! so go and search his name on myspace/ facebook and talk to him! =D

  • :p ok thanks a lot,

    even though im kinda scared, you persuaded me i'll do it =D

  • *hides* >.>

  • "shyness is learned behaviour that is useless".... that is so true, now im thinking about it. I also agree that speaking with more people makes you less shy, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go for it!! There is nothing to lose. :)

  • exactly! well said ;)

  • is there specific things an older guys likes, if he is making eye contact alot and touches you alot when he talks to you means he like your right? is there any place a guy likes to be touched when talking to?

  • Sure, if he chats, touches you, it's a sign of interest - Touch his hand or arm or simply get physically closer to him are all signs that show you respond to him

  • I'm extremely shy. I've stood by being overlooked & watching all of my girl friends have relationships. I guess you could say I'm tired of that cycle & am ready to venture out on my own. I've done so before, but each time it turned out bad. #1-Told a guy that I liked him. He then went out with another girl who shared the same name/age/race as me. #2-Guy flirted with me first. Then, as I showed interest, he shut me out. #3-We exchanged numbers. Went out a few times, then he never called back.

  • I know it is tough but what you describe is totally normal in the dating world ;) - These things happen - The key is to develop a thicker skin, not be touched by it and stay confident - Watch my vid on how to be rejection proof - A must watch!

  • ya know you dont even have to ask for a 5 star rating cause i already did! =] ur vids are great

  • Thanks ;)

  • Hello, I am a very shy person and need help. I have a coworker who is very flirtatious, especially with me. And yes, I do like him, but I don't know if he likes me. But I have noticed that when he talks to me, he toches me gently... on the elbow or shoulder and playfully pokes me on my stomach. What the hell is going on? I've never actually dated anyone before, so all of this is new to me. Your videos are helpful But I would like more info please. Thanks :)

  • watch my vid called "why does he flirt with you" - It's on my channel - a few essential hints

  • i am shy .. well not SOO SHY cause i talk to guys and stuff but i like this guy and idk if he likes me too cause me and him WERE freinds wen we were in 2nd and 3rd grade(long time ago) but now that a couple years past we dont talk no more and idk how to talk to him cause hes always the center of attention and has a lot of grls bothering him and every time i see him i blush and go the other way I WANT TO OVERCOME THAT FEAR AND ACTUALLY TALK TO HIM ... but i cant foR some reason HELP!!!

  • try again, next time you see him, look at him straight in the eyes, smile, say hi. It will work ;)

  • I am kind of shy with guys, I dont know to be seductive or flirty! I am attractive and yes guys ask me out but I dont know like how to approach a guy. Help.

  • smile, make eye contact, say Hi! - It is that simple, really ;)

  • i really like this guy..he's a flirt, he's goodlooking, he's smart. but then he only recently broke up with his gf. also, we don't really know each other too well. we don't meet much outside as we go to different schools and such but we do talk online from time to time. he occasionally flirts..but besides that, i don't know what to do! help?

  • keep flirting and invite him to together for something special one time, movies or something like that - A party at some friends is ideal ;)

  • are you fRench?

  • swiss ;)

  • hey, great vid!

    i hav a lil issue that im hopin u can help me with...im really shy and theres this guy that i really like but the thing is that he doesnt know much about me. i know 1 of his friends and thats how i got to know him a lil... and so just the othr day i had the nervs to talk to him and it felt really good. we talked for a long time. but now i cant seem to get his attention like i did b4... can ya help me with my problem?

  • watch the vid on "how to tease guys" - It is on my channel - That's a cool way to connect

  • i watchd the video and it got me thinking... in a week we will be going to an event for choir, which we are both in, and within the week b4 i need to try to get his attention... but im not very good at talking to guys so what should i do?

  • thnx. i watched the video and it got me thinking... but i have a problem with appraching guys (idky) but lately ive been trying to build up my confidence. in 2 weeks we will b going to the same event, for choir, and i was hopin u can giv me some tips on how to build up my confidence to flirt with him or talk to him again...