I want this iphone sooo bad !!! I never had a iphone i hope i can really win. It will be my best day of my whole whole life !!! I willl be ur fan!!!! I wish i can be the lucky winner thank you~~~~~~~~~ -3 :)
..i guess the contest is over..but still share some funny anecdot =)
..one day i sleep and in a dream i'm put hey in a tracktor, put some, not going, put some, not going...wake up.....with half of blanket in my ass)))))))))))
and its really good that your supporting breast cancer..my mum had it and there wasnt much support around me on coping with my mum having it..i think more ppl should support nd be aware of it.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said Watson look up at the stars and tell me what you see Watson replied "I see millions of stars.Holmes said:And what do you deduce from that?Watson replied:Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
A guy tells his psychiatrist: ‘It was terrible. I was away on business, and I emailed my wife that I’d be back a day early. I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend. I don’t get it. How could she do this to me?" "Well," says the psychiatrist. "Maybe she didn’t see the email."
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat."
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
(Continue) Take the last parachute and live in peace." The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
(Continue) The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and fulfilling life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, thepilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
At a restaurant, there is a waiter asking 2 guys what drinks they want. The chemist said he wanted H2O. Then his friend said he wanted H2O too. After a happy chat between the 2 guys, the other guy died. Do you know why?
It is because he had drank H2O2. Blame the waiter~
Pastor keeps chicken in church premises. One evening a cock goes missing, in church next day pastor asked, who has a cock? All the men got up. "No, I mean who has seen a cock?" All the women got up, "No,no I meant who has seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half of d women got up, "Oh for goodness sake!! Who has seen my cock?" All the choir girls got up
OH please choose meeeee, i always wanted a iphone 3gs and iphone 4 and was never able to get one cause my parents are haveing a rough time finacially, i would greatly apreciate if i got one of these, please i desperatly want one, i have been in numerous giveaways before, and its frustrating how all the time i put into typeing how much i want an iphone is wastesd by failure, please choose meeee
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”
During a speed dating session, Mary met a smart person who worked as a lawyer. She had finally met his dream guy... However, all is nothing when he fished out his Iphone 4S....Mary signed, "Iphone 4S = iPhone for ass!". *Sigh* *No more dream guy*
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."
"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you are really cute!"
While escaped, a convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered,
3 guys are stranded on an island. they find a wizard that grants each of em 1 with.
the first guy said "i want to go back home" the second guy said "i want to be back with my familly. the third guy said "im lonley i want my freinds back"
A man's wife asks him,"Let's try Greece this year. What do you say?" The man replies, "Why? What's wrong with our body lotion?" Geddit?????? He thought grease!
A boy was trying to pluck a mango that was out of reach. He took a stone and hurled it at the mango. He missed, he said, "Oh Shit! I missed!". God comes to him and says, "Son, you shouldnt use words like shit." The boy says to God, "Eat Shit!" God gets pissed and throws a thunderbolt at him, he misses. He says, "Oh Shit! I missed!" The boy said to God, "You shouldnt use words like shit!"
3 guys are stranded on an island. they fingd a guy that grants each 1 wish. the first guy said "i wana go home" the second guy said "i wana be home with my familly" the third guy said "im lonley i want my freinds back"
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"
hmmm something funny well i dont have a sence of humor but i dont give a DAYMN so im gonna be funny
Listen, this is a spoof of people that leave comennts that they are musicions and they wanna be famouse
Im a new pokemon trainer. If you could help me by spreading this, that would mean a lot. My teacher profesor Oak has gave me bulbasaur and im realy happy. Im working my ass of catching pokemons but i have no luck, so please i know most people wont read this but if you could spread this comment.
3 guys are stranded on an island. they find a genie. he grants each person 1 wish. the first guy says "i wish i was home" the 2.nd guy said "i wana go home" the 3.rd guy said: "im lonely, i want my friends back."
3 blonde girls are stuck on an island. the nearest bit of land is 100 meters away. they decide to try and swim to it. the first girl manages 20 meters and drowns. the second girl manages 40 meters and drowns. the third girl manages 50 meters but then starts to feel tired and swims back.
maried cuople go to their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*** your brains out, and s*ck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
I would love this iphone 4s, because im not gonna seat here and just go on google search up jokes and copy and paste. So if you get the chance to read this thanks and show your respect for the truth.
Roses are red volets are blue mofos are cool and so are you ;)
This new phone came out from a company named "pear" so this old man bought it, he asked his friend "how do these phones work with no chords!?" his friend said "they're invisible is all they are" later that day the old man trips. His wife asks what happened he said "I'm never buying an invisible chorded phone again!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her cheek, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his shirt! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years
YO muddah so fat. When she jump for joy. She gets stuck. I hope I win.. Or somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.. Teehee. Sincerely, Anthony (Tap Sum Bong)
PS. i ADDED YOU ON FACEBOOK. HEHE I HAVE MORE A CHANCE TO WIN
A husband and wife are silent after a fight they just had...neither are talking.they're on a road and then the pass a farm of pigs and the wife says sarcasticly,''family of yours?''...and the husband replys,''yup,my inlaws''
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.
I gave my only phone to my Girflfriend cuz her broke. now i'm without phone or sometimes i just lend one from friend. i need really new one ;( and iPhone was always my dream. but i can't afford to buy it ... So please choose me ;( and help me !
Mother : I paid for four years of your med school and you give me nothing! I am your mother four God's sake! You send me hand-made crap every christmas and thats all i ever get!
Son : But you said you loved that hand-made crockery series!
READ PLZ I HOPE I WIN :) a women walks onto a bus with her child and the bus driver says wat an ugly child u have the lady pardened him and walked away with the tickt the man next to her said wats the matter the lady said the bus driver said my baby was ugly then the man said dont sit here you have to go there and show him what u r and the lady said your right then the man said ok u go whilst i hold your monkey LOL plus i subbed liked faved and shared on my fb and twitter hope i win
A flight attendant yells,that the plane they're on is going to crash then she says."before I die I want to feel like a women". So she takes of all her clothes and says,"who wants to make me feel like a women?".... Then a man stands up removes his shirt and says,"here! Iron this "
A man and a women are silent after a big fight they just had on their long road trip,neither talking.Suddenly they pass a farm with pigs and the wife says sarcasticly,''family of yours?'' and the husband replys...''yup my inlaws''
This has been flagged as spam show
I hope i can win it will be my best day ever!!!
I want this iphone sooo bad !!! I never had a iphone i hope i can really win. It will be my best day of my whole whole life !!! I willl be ur fan!!!! I wish i can be the lucky winner thank you~~~~~~~~~ -3 :)
harrycho100 2 months ago
Idk if d contedt is over... Husband to wife: the oldest son, who eas 20, how old was he? Wife: 20, which is much more than your IQ XD
Junichoro 3 months ago
So I asked my husband if when he looks at me he looks in awe? He said "yeah...Aww shit!"
808manju 3 months ago
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A whole forest
Calmlucario 4 months ago
Click on the annotation to the winner video. Thank you all who participated!
mofoliobros 4 months ago
..i guess the contest is over..but still share some funny anecdot =)
..one day i sleep and in a dream i'm put hey in a tracktor, put some, not going, put some, not going...wake up.....with half of blanket in my ass)))))))))))
TheNyashkaTyan 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Hey ! Hey DVD player !!
-I'm not a DVD player. I'm a PS3.
-A what? A piss in 3 ???
-A playstation 3. I'm a console. People plays videogames with me.
-Ah! is this the way you "console" them? Hihihihiihhihihi
-Ah,ah ! Very funny.
-Hey! Hey consulate!
-What? What? What???
-JAX !!! :o)
TheNintendoHotSpot 4 months ago in playlist TheNintendoHotSpot's favorites
and its really good that your supporting breast cancer..my mum had it and there wasnt much support around me on coping with my mum having it..i think more ppl should support nd be aware of it.
minajettois 4 months ago
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said Watson look up at the stars and tell me what you see Watson replied "I see millions of stars.Holmes said:And what do you deduce from that?Watson replied:Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there.
minajettois 4 months ago
@minajettois there might also be life.And Holmes said:Watson you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent
minajettois 4 months ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
minajettois 4 months ago
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
narikotnk 4 months ago
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
narikotnk 4 months ago
That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
narikotnk 4 months ago
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
narikotnk 4 months ago
My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.
narikotnk 4 months ago
I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.
narikotnk 4 months ago
A guy tells his psychiatrist: ‘It was terrible. I was away on business, and I emailed my wife that I’d be back a day early. I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend. I don’t get it. How could she do this to me?" "Well," says the psychiatrist. "Maybe she didn’t see the email."
narikotnk 4 months ago
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
narikotnk 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
narikotnk 4 months ago
Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he's snagged an old bottle. As he's taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. "Turn the lake into beer," he says. The genie goes "Poof!" and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, "So what do you think?" The other guy says, "You jerk. Now we've got to piss in the boat."
narikotnk 4 months ago
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
narikotnk 4 months ago
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
1991corpsegrinder 4 months ago
who won zack ryder?
applepruductfan 4 months ago in playlist Liked
Hehehehehehehe... I don't have a good one. Hehehehhehehhehehehehehehe. Byeee. :)
climbupx 4 months ago
(Continue) Take the last parachute and live in peace." The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
TheLuckyprincess1 4 months ago
(Continue) The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and fulfilling life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
TheLuckyprincess1 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, thepilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
TheLuckyprincess1 4 months ago
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TheLuckyprincess1 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
narikotnk 4 months ago
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
narikotnk 4 months ago
At a restaurant, there is a waiter asking 2 guys what drinks they want. The chemist said he wanted H2O. Then his friend said he wanted H2O too. After a happy chat between the 2 guys, the other guy died. Do you know why?
It is because he had drank H2O2. Blame the waiter~
Kate53785 4 months ago
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Cover your mouth when you sneeze!
narikotnk 4 months ago
“Dear Apple, OM NOM NOM NOM. Sincerely, Android”
narikotnk 4 months ago
“Dear Shaking iPhone Apps, Be afraid, be VERY afraid, get ready to get axed. Sincerely, Going to delete you now… Muwahahahaha!”
narikotnk 4 months ago
“Dear Ladies, I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy who just want to check out your rear. Sincerely, Checking you out”
narikotnk 4 months ago
Let us all celebrate Halloween by saying "Hello wind". Well, it's too cold. I better get inside now...
narikotnk 4 months ago
What do you get when 2 peas went to fight?
ANS: Back-eyed peas!
narikotnk 4 months ago
Why can't a bicycle stand up?
Because it's two tired.
narikotnk 4 months ago
Teacher: Are you good at math ? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math !
narikotnk 4 months ago
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ? All of them, a crossbar can't jump !
narikotnk 4 months ago
Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ? Because there is lots of school spirit !
narikotnk 4 months ago
Pastor keeps chicken in church premises. One evening a cock goes missing, in church next day pastor asked, who has a cock? All the men got up. "No, I mean who has seen a cock?" All the women got up, "No,no I meant who has seen a cock that isn't theirs?" Half of d women got up, "Oh for goodness sake!! Who has seen my cock?" All the choir girls got up
608864 4 months ago
An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
The mother asks the daughter: "what are you doing naked?" The daughter responds:"This is the dress of love."
When the mother returns home, She strips naked and waits for her husband.
When her husband arrives, he asks her: "what are you doing naked, woman?"
She responds: "This is the dress of love."
And he said to her: "Well, go iron it."
narikotnk 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
OH please choose meeeee, i always wanted a iphone 3gs and iphone 4 and was never able to get one cause my parents are haveing a rough time finacially, i would greatly apreciate if i got one of these, please i desperatly want one, i have been in numerous giveaways before, and its frustrating how all the time i put into typeing how much i want an iphone is wastesd by failure, please choose meeee
608864 4 months ago
Let's all support Breast Cancer Awareness. You did a good job in the video. :)
narikotnk 4 months ago
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
narikotnk 4 months ago
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...
narikotnk 4 months ago
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
narikotnk 4 months ago
There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."
narikotnk 4 months ago
"What kind of murderer has moral fiber?" — "A cereal killer."
narikotnk 4 months ago
Q: What do the latest Iphone applications do?
A: Whiten teeth and perform lasik eye surgery!
Nicole101sweety 4 months ago
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”
narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
Mechanic: “Sorry sir, but I couldn’t fix your brakes. So I made your horn louder.”
narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i's out!
narikotnk 4 months ago
Q: Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 4 buyers?
A: It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping a call!
narikotnk 4 months ago
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narikotnk 4 months ago
Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP
narikotnk 4 months ago
During a speed dating session, Mary met a smart person who worked as a lawyer. She had finally met his dream guy... However, all is nothing when he fished out his Iphone 4S....Mary signed, "Iphone 4S = iPhone for ass!". *Sigh* *No more dream guy*
narikotnk 4 months ago
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked.
narikotnk 4 months ago
"Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."
"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you are really cute!"
narikotnk 4 months ago
While escaped, a convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered,
narikotnk 4 months ago
3 guys are stranded on an island. they find a wizard that grants each of em 1 with.
the first guy said "i want to go back home" the second guy said "i want to be back with my familly. the third guy said "im lonley i want my freinds back"
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama is so ugly when she joined myspace everyone went to facebook
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama is so ugly she is the reason waldo is hiding
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama is so dumb she went to a dentist to get a bluetooth
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama is so fat shes on both sides of the familly
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mamas like a vacume: she cleans, sucks, AND blows!
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
Mom: Mark what are you doing on the Internet whole the time?
Mark: Just looking around at Youtube
Mom: Don't tell me that your looking at Giveaways!
Mom: Ehhmm...
Lalalu128 4 months ago
Hillary Clinton said she once got a dog for bill , she saidd it was the best deal she ever had.
POPEYE2023 4 months ago
" isn't great to be in June "!!??
Reply: " yes , but her sister Barbara , was even better".
POPEYE2023 4 months ago
IPHONE 4S !
My dog eats cat shit. I tried to explain to her where it comes from, but she dont care...
MineChrome 4 months ago
Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.AHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
really want to win....
klizmata 4 months ago
A man's wife asks him,"Let's try Greece this year. What do you say?" The man replies, "Why? What's wrong with our body lotion?" Geddit?????? He thought grease!
Knittu1998 4 months ago
A boy was trying to pluck a mango that was out of reach. He took a stone and hurled it at the mango. He missed, he said, "Oh Shit! I missed!". God comes to him and says, "Son, you shouldnt use words like shit." The boy says to God, "Eat Shit!" God gets pissed and throws a thunderbolt at him, he misses. He says, "Oh Shit! I missed!" The boy said to God, "You shouldnt use words like shit!"
Knittu1998 4 months ago
A guy loved a girl. One day he proposed to her and she said no. The guy lived happily ever after. Now thats a real story!
Knittu1998 4 months ago
yo mama so dumb she boght tickets to xbox live
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama so ugly when she joined myspace everyone went to facebook
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama like a vacum: she cleans, sucks, and blows
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
3 guys are stranded on an island. they fingd a guy that grants each 1 wish. the first guy said "i wana go home" the second guy said "i wana be home with my familly" the third guy said "im lonley i want my freinds back"
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
would it hurt you to pick me over 227 people? phee...
i'll subscribe my ass of for u, if u make this happen. :D
i never won anything in my whole pathetic fat life..
you know have the privilege to choose me. :D
BaibaKush 4 months ago in playlist BaibaKush's favorites
you look like Zack Ryder from wwe LOL XD :D :))))
applepruductfan 4 months ago
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her "What happened?"
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"
"The person called back."
merejoc 4 months ago
Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!
YDude26 4 months ago
what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
YDude26 4 months ago
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."
YDude26 4 months ago
If you are in need of a Halloween costume on short notice just grab a quarter and a hammer!! You can go as a QuarterPounder! :D
I can't afford a phone. It would be soo amazing if my first phone was an Iphone 4s :)I hope I have a chance at winning! :)
carinejv 4 months ago
Jewish guy: So I walk into a bar...
YDude26 4 months ago
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (funny comment)
YDude26 4 months ago
I really hope I win! Thanks for the opportunity!
YDude26 4 months ago
I am not that funny but I am 11 and if you don't believe me check out my vids
P.s. I like your shades they make you look cool!
algman123 4 months ago
i want one please im not a comedian please pick me please
jorgehoty 4 months ago
roses are red,
violets are blue,
i've got a gun,
get in the car!
I love bad pick-up lines
chespgerfr 4 months ago
hmmm something funny well i dont have a sence of humor but i dont give a DAYMN so im gonna be funny
Listen, this is a spoof of people that leave comennts that they are musicions and they wanna be famouse
Im a new pokemon trainer. If you could help me by spreading this, that would mean a lot. My teacher profesor Oak has gave me bulbasaur and im realy happy. Im working my ass of catching pokemons but i have no luck, so please i know most people wont read this but if you could spread this comment.
ReMaBrunoBoss 4 months ago
3 guys are stranded on an island. they find a genie. he grants each person 1 wish. the first guy says "i wish i was home" the 2.nd guy said "i wana go home" the 3.rd guy said: "im lonely, i want my friends back."
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
3 blonde girls are stuck on an island. the nearest bit of land is 100 meters away. they decide to try and swim to it. the first girl manages 20 meters and drowns. the second girl manages 40 meters and drowns. the third girl manages 50 meters but then starts to feel tired and swims back.
Dillip294 4 months ago
I had hard time writing this -better laugh:
maried cuople go to their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*** your brains out, and s*ck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job.
BaibaKush 4 months ago in playlist Lietotāja BaibaKush izlase
I want to win this iPhone 4s so much :)
Here is a funny comment:
Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
MineChrome 4 months ago
it is not rape from a hot chick only from ugly betty
alcorta4life1 4 months ago
Google"i know everything" facebook"i know everyone"internet"without me you all are nothing" electricity - "keep talking bitcheees"...
BaibaKush 4 months ago
Who makes more money... a hooker? or a drug dealer? A hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again...
JoelJimenezMerejo 4 months ago
Shiit... (that was the dirty comment) :D
Reason i want to win - everyone claims this to be the best phone - i just want to see whether they all are right. :)
Hugs and good luck everyone. :)
P.s. Its on halloween - if i loose , ill consider my self tricked, i win- that's one hell of a treat. :)
BaibaKush 4 months ago
This action is sicker than Hitler's kill death ratio!
NubKi11a 4 months ago
when chuck norris does push-ups, he pushes the earth downwards..
Knittu1998 4 months ago in playlist Knittu1998's favorites
long ago, chuck norris and superman had a fight and said that the loser would fly around in a red underwear all day. u probably know who lost by now.
Knittu1998 4 months ago in playlist Knittu1998's favorites
chuck norris was shot yesterday. tomorrow is the bullets funeral!
Knittu1998 4 months ago in playlist Knittu1998's favorites
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
AppleGeek241 4 months ago
Because I know somewhere deep down in my heart ...... I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!!
MMMMUuUUAaaAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Ehehehea!!!!!
POPEYE2023 4 months ago
b b
POPEYE2023 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
ramife91 4 months ago
I would love this iphone 4s, because im not gonna seat here and just go on google search up jokes and copy and paste. So if you get the chance to read this thanks and show your respect for the truth.
Roses are red volets are blue mofos are cool and so are you ;)
magicman1455 4 months ago
Comment removed
Gillersnipes91 4 months ago
your moms funny hehehe
BruinsCupChampions 4 months ago
This new phone came out from a company named "pear" so this old man bought it, he asked his friend "how do these phones work with no chords!?" his friend said "they're invisible is all they are" later that day the old man trips. His wife asks what happened he said "I'm never buying an invisible chorded phone again!"
ShockerHaloGuy 4 months ago
Hope I When
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her cheek, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his shirt! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years
1Killonaire 4 months ago
hi i hope i win this..goodluck to me hehehe
jheswin25 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
YO muddah so fat. When she jump for joy. She gets stuck. I hope I win.. Or somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.. Teehee. Sincerely, Anthony (Tap Sum Bong)
PS. i ADDED YOU ON FACEBOOK. HEHE I HAVE MORE A CHANCE TO WIN
cowsaymoo123 4 months ago
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are you doing?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank."
Little Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
Nav839 4 months ago in playlist Giveaways
I mustache you a question! but ill shave it for later! bdum chhhhh!
doily0 4 months ago 2
i feel crapy
buttercup4041 4 months ago
A husband and wife are silent after a fight they just had...neither are talking.they're on a road and then the pass a farm of pigs and the wife says sarcasticly,''family of yours?''...and the husband replys,''yup,my inlaws''
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
A cheetah and a lion are racing.the cheetah wins.then the lions says"you were cheeting'' then the cheetah says,''you a lyin.
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
whats the diffrence between the zoo and the white house? One has african lions while the other has lyin"africans"
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
@mofoliobros so far whos gonna get the phone
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
so far who is the winner
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
what do lebron james and tim tebow have in common they both responsible for miami losing in the 4th quarter
YungBoss318 4 months ago
Whats best about shagging Twenty - Eight year olds?
There is Twenty of them!
nba2432 4 months ago
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.
UncleWizzard 4 months ago
Me: id you here about that apple guy dieing
Siri: oh RIP Isaac Newton
legocityadverts 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I gave my only phone to my Girflfriend cuz her broke. now i'm without phone or sometimes i just lend one from friend. i need really new one ;( and iPhone was always my dream. but i can't afford to buy it ... So please choose me ;( and help me !
Zanmaikurwamac 4 months ago
WE FORGOT OUR PANTS GAYS
ReMaBrunoBoss 4 months ago
guess what? Siri can do a BLOWJOB too ;)
leiahart 4 months ago
Mother : I paid for four years of your med school and you give me nothing! I am your mother four God's sake! You send me hand-made crap every christmas and thats all i ever get!
Son : But you said you loved that hand-made crockery series!
Mother : I said they made me cry!!!
Knittu1998 4 months ago
YO muddah so fat. When she jump joy. She gets stuck. I hope I win.. Or somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.. Teehee. Sincerely, Anthony (Tap Sum Bong)
cowsaymoo123 4 months ago
hope i get picked <3
silvercandypop 4 months ago
YO mama: is so ugly: she is the reason why waldo is hiding
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so stupid: she went to a dentist to get a bluetooth
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so ugly: when she looked out her window, she got arrested for mooning an officer
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so stupid: she got hit by a parked car
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so stupid: she boght tikets to xbox live
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so fat: she downloaded cheat codes for wii fit!
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so stupid: she took a spoon to the super bowl
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so ugly, when she joined myspace, everyone went to facebook
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is so fat when she saw a school nus filled with white kids, she yelled: GET BACK HERE TWINKI!
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
Yo mama so fat, when she do the tai chi, she too slow!
ichigojasper 4 months ago
YO mama: is like a brick: she gets laid by mexicans
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO mama: is like a chrismas tree: everyone hangs there balls on her
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
YO MAMA: so dumb she poured saltwater down her pants to keep her krabs fresh
thatipawditochkid 4 months ago
READ PLZ I HOPE I WIN :) a women walks onto a bus with her child and the bus driver says wat an ugly child u have the lady pardened him and walked away with the tickt the man next to her said wats the matter the lady said the bus driver said my baby was ugly then the man said dont sit here you have to go there and show him what u r and the lady said your right then the man said ok u go whilst i hold your monkey LOL plus i subbed liked faved and shared on my fb and twitter hope i win
winwinwin2011 4 months ago
Teacher: Did you do your homework?
Student: Did u grade my test?
Teacher: No, I had other tests to grade
Student: Sorry i had other homework to do.
MrDenisPC 4 months ago
What did the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going in!"
Marriage is like taking a bath... after you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
Left4DeadBled 4 months ago
THE DIFFERENCE-
Genie- i grant you 1wish
Girl-(omg I want so many things n I've only 1 wish)- I want 100 wishes
Genie- i can't give more than 1 wish, You'r wish is wasted
...
Genie- I grant you 1wish
Boy- I want 100 Genies like you!!
Genie- What the....!?!?!?
sranjan2007 4 months ago
Attitude at its peak
Teacher:
"Why are you Late??"
... .
Student:
Does it Really matter ?? !!
U still get Paid
coolsameerforyou 4 months ago
3 men..
first man - "books influence us a lot...... when my wife was expecting, she read THE TALE OF TWO CITIES and she gave birth to twins...."
second man - "yes, you are right.. when my wife was expecting, she
read THE THREE MUSKETEERS
and she gave birth to triplets...."
... Hearing this, the third man fainted.... when he regained his senses, the other two men asked
him what happened.....
The third man replied...my wife is expecting and she is reading ALI BABA AND THE
FORTY THIEVES
sameerranjanjaiswal 4 months ago
Darn you autocorrect!
Mom: You're our pregnant little daughter :)
Me: Mom, how'd you find out?
Mom: Oops, I meant to say perfect.
Mom: WAIT, WHAT!!??!
MeganBeth84 4 months ago in playlist Giveaways
My entry for the giveaway :)
Friend: Dude you were so drunk last night! we had to literally break into your house and put you in bed!
Guy: No I wasn't,at least not that much.
Friend: you were in my pool, screaming NEMO WHERE ARE YOU! I'LLL FIND YOU!
SuperVegito9000 4 months ago
I hope I win because I'm stuck with an iPod touch 1G which is stuck with iOS 3 >.<
ytzone654 4 months ago in playlist Giveaways
Aww drive in movies ... You can see love,sex,nudity,compassion .... And you can also see the movie
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
A flight attendant yells,that the plane they're on is going to crash then she says."before I die I want to feel like a women". So she takes of all her clothes and says,"who wants to make me feel like a women?".... Then a man stands up removes his shirt and says,"here! Iron this "
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
A cheetah and a lion race ... The cheetah wins , the lion tells the cheetah "your a cheeter" and the cheetah tells the lion." you a lion" :)
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
And when does the contest end
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago
A man and a women are silent after a big fight they just had on their long road trip,neither talking.Suddenly they pass a farm with pigs and the wife says sarcasticly,''family of yours?'' and the husband replys...''yup my inlaws''
zekedude17dlf 4 months ago