Good video... I live in Akron and work in Beachwood. Nice to see someone who knows what is happening. I was 37 or so when I came out. I am now 43. It is amazing what we did to lie about who we truly are. AMEN about the religious right
Great vlog!!! Yes, I have only officially been out for two years, but the toxicity of the closet nearly killed me (quite literally). Now I have been feeling much like you mention here. Like I have started a completely new life two years ago. And, of course, in retrospect, I wish that I was thirty like you when I came out. I'm 45 now. But, hey...better late than never I always say...heheh Nice to meet you!
@PaintedRavensong Thanks!! At least you did not take it to the grave like so many have done in the past. I think we are seeing that nonsense begin to disappear. People need to be who they are and not live a lie.
@CountryComesToTown Thanks Jim!! (You have such a cool name! :) ) I probably should do another vid. I never did an actual "coming out" vid. My story is pretty lame..no drama. My only regret is that I spent my 20's alone and in the closet. You can never get that time back. I hope by the time I am an old man that we ALL will have equality and the closet door will forever off its hinges...
I have a weird scenario where all my friends know I'm gay but none of my family do. And because I keep my social and familial lives so separate it's easy to maintain that lie. I keep it up for purely practical reasons at the moment. If my father threw me out I could go and live with my mother, but it would be so much harder to manage my life from her place. I remember I used to feign homophobia to impress my father, but I stopped doing that simply because I ceased to care what he thought of me.
You are so not alone!! Think of the thousands and thousands of gay people that are in the same boat! i would love to turn all gay people pink for one day so that the world could see that we are everywhere. Good luck in your process!!
@stoner829 Not sure I'd like that as I've always been cripplingly shy and a bitter pessimist, but it does sound like a lovely idea! As for my "process", I think I'll hold onto my 'dark' secret until I'm no longer financially dependant on the old bastard, but I did have a kind of epiphany recently where I suddenly realised that, one day, when the time is right, I WILL tell him and fuck the consequences. I felt so good after that that I actually started laughing. Thanks for an awesome video, BTW.
I agree, a year ago I would have been fine keeping to myself, but I got sick of it and decided it would be better to admit it to myself and others before my feelings got worse. I swear the more I tell the more weight gets off my shoulder. I'm still in the process, but I'm glad I've started.
i think sometimes before we come out of the closet we make jokes about other gays is becuase it makes us feel maybe a little bit better at that point in time but i agree i wish i hadn't of either... we should be who we are regaurdless of what anyone else has to say
I agree. But..some people carry it into their adult life. They will never admit that they are gay. Perhaps they will get married..or be a politician and vote against gay rights. BUT!! It does catch up with you because you will never be truly happy living a lie in a closet...
You had so many good points about coming out and teh vote in Maine. The bottom line is that we all need to be who we are and that the "vote" to decide for equal rights for all needs to be taken away as a vote. It should NEVER come down to a vote. It should be given as a right in our Constitution.
I hear you Rick! So sad.can you imagine putting black vs white on a ballot? My sis who lives in W OH.lived in Columbus in the 70s OSU A guy who was a student there lived below them in an apt.. He killed himself..my bro-in-law had to clean up the mess. they found some Playgirl pics in his apt...the poor young guy committed suicide cuz he was gay..
I was just a kid but I still remember him....nice guy. This happened so long ago..but it is weird.I STILL think of him.I hope this nonsense stops..
Paul-I can see "hating" a society that makes its gay citizens feel like they are worthless, sinners, evil, and so on. That is a SICK society..but for the gay citizen to hate himself because of these awful people..it makes no sense!!!!
If I took the train it would probably take 10 hours!!! NO THANKS!!! LOL
part 2 of my comment --- the change will be monumental. Plus self-esteem of each indivual gay person and of the gay community as a whole will increase. Good video!
Good job on the video. You explain things very well. Just the other day a gay young man told me how he used say very hateful things toward gay people. Now he is out and he doesn't do that anymore. You are right, being in the closet is really not a great place. If we all come out of the closet acceptance of gay people will increase dramatically. Over the past 20 years views on gay people have already changed quite a lot. This is due to people coming out. If everyone comes out the change will be
Great video Jim and you are so right coming out of the closet is very liberating and is a time to rejoice, I never felt better after coming out years ago and honey I am not going back into that closet..besides I have too many shoes that are filling up that closet now..LOL.. Have a great day!!
Hey Jim, great video and message! God loves gay people, he made them that way. The ideology of the ignorant right wingers will be in the dust pan of history some day and God will rejoice.
For years I stressed and stressed about coming out of the closet and I gave myself all kinds of stress related conditions.
I'm a much calmer, happier, and more confident person that I've now come out to everyone. I'm closer to my family, and just feel 100% better about myself. Thanks for the vid.
The countryside outside your car looks really nice by the way.
You are 100% right about coming out of the closet being the best weapon. I have a large extended family, neighbours and friends who would all now vote for gay rights, just because they actually know what gay means.
And I would also like to stress just how much happier a life you can have once you don't have the burden of secrecy hanging over your life.
HUGS!!! You know how horrible it is..but how wonderful it is to accept and let it go..I REALLY feel so sorry for closeted people..been there done that!
BUT!!!! What about all of this crazy rain in England?? It is all over the news..you OK?
@stoner829 Actually me and Jake have terrible coming out stories in which nothing much happens. It is why we haven't made a video about them, it isn't really worth telling.
Basically no-one gave a crap. Jake can't even remember who he told first it was such a non-event.
The flooding is all up in the lake district so we are unaffected. It is pretty bad up there but there hasn't been much loss of life so it can all be rebuilt. We were on holiday there just a couple of months ago :S
Thanks that helped a lot! I agree with everything you said :) And I love how you are just making a video while driving lol x
csifriendsscrubsfan 9 months ago
Jim, I really Love your video. Thank you so very much for making such a beautiful difference. ♥
anayah777 1 year ago
Jim , you are so cool.I enjoy you video post .You have a lot to say !
OKflaMAN 1 year ago
@OKflaMAN Thanks OK..that nasty closet needs to be gone. Nobody should have to live in it.
stoner829 1 year ago
Good video... I live in Akron and work in Beachwood. Nice to see someone who knows what is happening. I was 37 or so when I came out. I am now 43. It is amazing what we did to lie about who we truly are. AMEN about the religious right
herdfan1990 1 year ago
Great vlog!!! Yes, I have only officially been out for two years, but the toxicity of the closet nearly killed me (quite literally). Now I have been feeling much like you mention here. Like I have started a completely new life two years ago. And, of course, in retrospect, I wish that I was thirty like you when I came out. I'm 45 now. But, hey...better late than never I always say...heheh Nice to meet you!
PaintedRavensong 1 year ago
@PaintedRavensong Thanks!! At least you did not take it to the grave like so many have done in the past. I think we are seeing that nonsense begin to disappear. People need to be who they are and not live a lie.
stoner829 1 year ago
Great video Jim. I watched this months ago but wanted to come back and watch it again after seeing your comment on the OutLateButGreat channel. -Jim
CountryComesToTown 1 year ago
@CountryComesToTown Thanks Jim!! (You have such a cool name! :) ) I probably should do another vid. I never did an actual "coming out" vid. My story is pretty lame..no drama. My only regret is that I spent my 20's alone and in the closet. You can never get that time back. I hope by the time I am an old man that we ALL will have equality and the closet door will forever off its hinges...
Thanks for your comment!
Jim
stoner829 1 year ago
Great video. I should make my own car vlog really soon. :]
ericos 2 years ago
@ericos Thanks! Just don't wreck the car! :)
stoner829 2 years ago
Great video but I was nervous the whole time thinking "he's making a video while driving" lol
EPRVa62 2 years ago
Don't worry. It was on Rt. 30 in western Ohio-not too much traffic!
stoner829 2 years ago
I have a weird scenario where all my friends know I'm gay but none of my family do. And because I keep my social and familial lives so separate it's easy to maintain that lie. I keep it up for purely practical reasons at the moment. If my father threw me out I could go and live with my mother, but it would be so much harder to manage my life from her place. I remember I used to feign homophobia to impress my father, but I stopped doing that simply because I ceased to care what he thought of me.
MrHeslopian 2 years ago 2
You are so not alone!! Think of the thousands and thousands of gay people that are in the same boat! i would love to turn all gay people pink for one day so that the world could see that we are everywhere. Good luck in your process!!
stoner829 2 years ago
@stoner829 Not sure I'd like that as I've always been cripplingly shy and a bitter pessimist, but it does sound like a lovely idea! As for my "process", I think I'll hold onto my 'dark' secret until I'm no longer financially dependant on the old bastard, but I did have a kind of epiphany recently where I suddenly realised that, one day, when the time is right, I WILL tell him and fuck the consequences. I felt so good after that that I actually started laughing. Thanks for an awesome video, BTW.
MrHeslopian 2 years ago 4
You certainly don't seem "crippling shy" to me. You are a "man on a mission' that seems very confident!!! :)
stoner829 2 years ago
I agree, a year ago I would have been fine keeping to myself, but I got sick of it and decided it would be better to admit it to myself and others before my feelings got worse. I swear the more I tell the more weight gets off my shoulder. I'm still in the process, but I'm glad I've started.
thatoneshyguy20 2 years ago
Good for you!! The closet can eat you alive. I am proud of you!
stoner829 2 years ago
Thanks for uploading this, unfortunately i live in homophobe country where being gay is 100% sinful and hell is where i belong, kinda sad
right now im still in a closet, sucks !!! :-(
mancetube 2 years ago
Being in the closet does suck!!! You don't belong in hell-you belong in heaven...
stoner829 2 years ago
i think sometimes before we come out of the closet we make jokes about other gays is becuase it makes us feel maybe a little bit better at that point in time but i agree i wish i hadn't of either... we should be who we are regaurdless of what anyone else has to say
FruityTeen09 2 years ago 2
I agree. But..some people carry it into their adult life. They will never admit that they are gay. Perhaps they will get married..or be a politician and vote against gay rights. BUT!! It does catch up with you because you will never be truly happy living a lie in a closet...
stoner829 2 years ago
You had so many good points about coming out and teh vote in Maine. The bottom line is that we all need to be who we are and that the "vote" to decide for equal rights for all needs to be taken away as a vote. It should NEVER come down to a vote. It should be given as a right in our Constitution.
RickOnEarth 2 years ago 2
I hear you Rick! So sad.can you imagine putting black vs white on a ballot? My sis who lives in W OH.lived in Columbus in the 70s OSU A guy who was a student there lived below them in an apt.. He killed himself..my bro-in-law had to clean up the mess. they found some Playgirl pics in his apt...the poor young guy committed suicide cuz he was gay..
I was just a kid but I still remember him....nice guy. This happened so long ago..but it is weird.I STILL think of him.I hope this nonsense stops..
stoner829 2 years ago
I agree with what you said here, Jim, but how do you deal with that internal homophobia? When you hate who you are, how do you accept who you are?
And, er, wouldn't it have been better to take the train? LOL!!!
Paul.
BearGuyPaul 2 years ago
Paul-I can see "hating" a society that makes its gay citizens feel like they are worthless, sinners, evil, and so on. That is a SICK society..but for the gay citizen to hate himself because of these awful people..it makes no sense!!!!
If I took the train it would probably take 10 hours!!! NO THANKS!!! LOL
stoner829 2 years ago
part 2 of my comment --- the change will be monumental. Plus self-esteem of each indivual gay person and of the gay community as a whole will increase. Good video!
Erik
StraightActingGayGuy 2 years ago
Good job on the video. You explain things very well. Just the other day a gay young man told me how he used say very hateful things toward gay people. Now he is out and he doesn't do that anymore. You are right, being in the closet is really not a great place. If we all come out of the closet acceptance of gay people will increase dramatically. Over the past 20 years views on gay people have already changed quite a lot. This is due to people coming out. If everyone comes out the change will be
StraightActingGayGuy 2 years ago
Thanks!! Your vids are making a difference too. I hope nobody in the future has to go through this...
stoner829 2 years ago
Great video Jim thank you for making this video its important when we all use our voices together :O)
depfox 2 years ago
Your videos "pushed" me..it is all your fault!! LOL
You guys are an inspiration!
stoner829 2 years ago
Great video Jim and you are so right coming out of the closet is very liberating and is a time to rejoice, I never felt better after coming out years ago and honey I am not going back into that closet..besides I have too many shoes that are filling up that closet now..LOL.. Have a great day!!
THEROBBIEKSHOW 2 years ago
Thanks Robbie!! I have clothes from the 80's filling mine up!!! I need to make a run to the Salvation Army!!! Hugs!
stoner829 2 years ago
Amazing video!!!
Yea, you are right! it is wonderful being honest and truthful ^^
Thank you for sharing!!!
ALVINPGTM84 2 years ago
Thanks for the comment!
stoner829 2 years ago
Hey Jim, great video and message! God loves gay people, he made them that way. The ideology of the ignorant right wingers will be in the dust pan of history some day and God will rejoice.
Fightdog 2 years ago
Thanks Bob-it came from the heart!
AND!!! Thanks for your vids too..you are a really cool guy! Happy Thanksgiving!
stoner829 2 years ago
For years I stressed and stressed about coming out of the closet and I gave myself all kinds of stress related conditions.
I'm a much calmer, happier, and more confident person that I've now come out to everyone. I'm closer to my family, and just feel 100% better about myself. Thanks for the vid.
Snoppster 2 years ago
I hear you!!!!!! I would not wish the closet on my worst enemy....
Hope you guys are okay and DRY! We,ve been hearing about all of that flooding in the UK.
stoner829 2 years ago
Yeah the worst of it is in Cumbria and costal areas..... Which, even though it's geographically nearby to Manchester, hasn't really effected me.
A friend of mine works in Cumbria though... He maintains the ph levels in rivers... His river was one that burst it's banks!
Snoppster 2 years ago
Yay a vlog!
The countryside outside your car looks really nice by the way.
You are 100% right about coming out of the closet being the best weapon. I have a large extended family, neighbours and friends who would all now vote for gay rights, just because they actually know what gay means.
And I would also like to stress just how much happier a life you can have once you don't have the burden of secrecy hanging over your life.
orangegoblin82 2 years ago
HUGS!!! You know how horrible it is..but how wonderful it is to accept and let it go..I REALLY feel so sorry for closeted people..been there done that!
BUT!!!! What about all of this crazy rain in England?? It is all over the news..you OK?
stoner829 2 years ago
@stoner829 Actually me and Jake have terrible coming out stories in which nothing much happens. It is why we haven't made a video about them, it isn't really worth telling.
Basically no-one gave a crap. Jake can't even remember who he told first it was such a non-event.
The flooding is all up in the lake district so we are unaffected. It is pretty bad up there but there hasn't been much loss of life so it can all be rebuilt. We were on holiday there just a couple of months ago :S
orangegoblin82 2 years ago
Sorry about that....WE are family...so you need a big hug!!!! Jim is going to bed....
Take the dogs for a walk!!!
Stay dry!
Jim
MAJOR HUGS!!!
stoner829 2 years ago