Tired Of Traffic? New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'

[MegaMmiller]

I did that. The persion behind me took it well. He called me number one. But he did it with the wrong finger though.

[franner2002]

too bad people in pittsburgh pa are too fucking retarded to understand that...

[ashinms]

I kept trying to click on the banner at the bottom of the video to make it go away, then I realized it wasn't an advertiesment.

[psyckojoe]

it basically works like a midnight club roar

[curtisludlow]

"Why celebrities are so adept at writing children's books." LOL

[45barber1]

Lmao

[ndrwplussine]

@stevekindejr wtf, why add these meaningless names to describe a simple humour device?

[MRTEL7777]

POLICE SIRENS ARE MORE EFFECTIVE. I BOUGHT MINES ON EBAY!!

[R5H4D0W]

honking during rush hour adds beneficial tension to the matrix of vehicles, contributing to a even tighter congestion, spontaneous [and sometimes hilarious] road rage practices. It may help people to relieve daily tensions and improve accuracy and consistency by shooting each other...in term produces jobs for car repairs. The purchase of traffic [as oppose to trench] guns will then stimulate the economy. If this is true, honk away!

[Dinker27]

Does honking also work for clowns and my mother's old station wagon?

[mikeo20011]

LOL 0:01 "relesed killer thanks god for a secound chance to kill" XD

[MrFreako2010]

Lamest ONN I've seen yet, right down the awkward delivery. Can't all be winners.

[Detiminator]

Lol finally an onion vid where i can understand the satire.

[MikSevilla]

what...? i been having the great potential of the honk and never used it? shit!

[Jurassic0Al]

Over two minutes... man, that Downey commercial was the longest fucking commercial I've ever had to watch in my life. Screw your clean sheets, too.

[dracocrusher]

define HONKING:

the middle finger 'ef you' of car language.

example; the driver warned he would plow through traffic by HONKING!

[macgeek2004]

@TCreatorO

Why ISN'T this on Comedy Central??? I mean, they DO carry The Onion Sports News, which is like The Onion meets ESPN, but it's not as good... (I think it's only because I'm not a fan of sports, tho, so I think that material may be over my head.)

Apparently it airs on the Independent Film Channel, tho, but has anyone ever heard of that???

[tiberianfiend]

@macgeek2004 Because Comedy Central isn't for shows that are funny.

[LocoGroove]

HOOONK HOOONK HOOONK

[TCreatorO]

XD Onion News is better than comedy central!, thubs up, favorited this vid and subscrived! keep up your AWESOME Work!

[pcplaya1]

Honking? What about a rocket laucher and a couple of miniguns?

[m1c000l]

this is the stupiest one theyve ever made ppl will die

[lusteraliaszero]

@m1c000l it's fake.

[m1c000l]

@lusteraliaszero i know dick i was saying that the idea for this one is just stupid

[lusteraliaszero]

@m1c000l if they misunderstand this, they deserve to die.

[m1c000l]

@lusteraliaszero LOL

[marine5546]

SWEET!!! Bush got us all souvenirs!!

[smujismuj]

I find that flipping off other drivers is an excellent way to animate them and cause them to make entertaining faces and gestures.

[DraoiSidhe]

Note: if the person behind you flashes their highbeams that means "Move", not "slow down"... idiots...

[WestonVonWellington]

0:30 if only that worked....

[BlackmoreRules]

SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iguanarc]

HONK BABY HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!

[elk832]

I know this is meant to be poking fun at assholes that honk when it can't do shit, but where I'm from one thing they said holds very true: "Many [other drivers] do not realize there are people behind them." Almost nobody accelerates when the light turns green - it's like the person up front takes 7 seconds to react then lazily rolls through. I've entered green lights and left on reds because of this. Also, nobody accelerates getting on the freeway - they expect everyone to merge going 40 mph.

[Diviniteee]

HOONK HOONK HOONK

[ottopotomas]

im literally crying... so funny

[anonymousman555]

@111WLee Every business already does this, it is not illegal.

[TheOverItFellow]

The Onion is totally 100% real. No question. It's about as real as my flying pig in my garden.

[CaptianSlurpie]

@TheOverItFellow tasty bacon

[TheOverItFellow]

Hell yeah. Though, my costumers seem to dissapear after I've fed them.

[raphaloz]

awesome =P

[Honduran668]

Is this for real? I'm sorry, but I just can't see that happening. So if I honk my horn, it MAY reduce/eliminate gridlock? I would love that, is just that noise ordinance may be in force and I don't want a ticket for honking. Can someone tell me if that is legal in Chicago, I would gladly appreciate the info.

[Cili1000XL]

@Honduran668 Its fake....

[Honduran668]

@Cili1000XL Now I feel sliiy posting that. Funny thing is that in some areas, it works, but not as illustrated in the video. Cairo, Egypt is best example. The traffic sucks over there and sometimes a honk or 2 speeds it up a little. Watch some videos of Cairo and you'll see what I mean.

[pikachuthesquirtle]

nah... a gun will work better. 

[gamecircit]

BP adds in my youtube? more likely then you think

[superstar5565]

i hate people who do that in traffic

[mcocco1891]

"HOOONK HOOONK HOOONK it's that simple."

[cluch9]

FAKE AND GAY

[ngentotsemua]

@cluch9 r u stupid or what?

[HarrisonDG]

WHERE DO I GET ONE OF THESE MAGIC MOSES HORNS

[LaterMeansBrick]

Latest research shows that the usage of cars with built in explosives, that detonate when they're driven under 50 mph, effectively reduces possibility of traffic jams.

[User51234]

Well, Italians have been using this technique for at least 20 years ...

[superbri007]

LOL, i can't stop watching this youtube channel, this is amazing.

[MaxDorval]

its true that people never hunk... people feel bad. if the people in front of you is a shit just hunk it will wake her up. (see what i did here?)

[pyromaanisi]

HONK HONK HONK, IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!!

[monkeywolf007]

@dyanstrass I just watched this right here

[argeque]

Another proven method is throwing solid, blunt objects at car windows, the glass embedded in their skin reminds them that you need to go places and they should respect that.

[jephboy]

Wish I could "honk" on the I-84 Banfield, but when I honk, I tend to get rocks through my windshield. Anyone who lives in or around Portland, Oregon will know this little shit trap and the people going 25 mph in a 55 mph zone.

One of my friends actually got a "honk" ticket for honking to alert a pedestrian crossing at a cross walk where he was stopped, that another vehicle was cutting him around the right shoulder and about to run him over. Pretty lame.

[ThorkilKowalski]

This is epic!

[411NewYork]

What do you do when the horn is broken?

Our horn needs repair. :(

[drkinzenbaw]

We sould just throw shit

[untropezon]

I live in The Netherlands, they have miles of traffic jams here every day, but people just won't honk! They just sit there quietly.

I hope they see this report and catch on to the solution!

[tattooninja]

god damn i hate honking.

i don't even think cars should have horns....who invented that shit??

[cireously]

I love road-rage

[rela78]

My horn goes Pronk Pronk!

[Shinlink]

@rela78 That's pronksome. I wish my pronk was like that.

[argozempo]

Honking alone won't move traffic very well. A combination of honking, swearing, and asking the driver ahead of you if he got his driver's license out of a box of Captain Crunch is much more effective.

[jbh121297]

@argozempo i am sorry i accidently gave you a thumbs down:(

[corsair47]

@argozempo that one comment was better than the entire video

[patricky9]

i will definitely start honking tomorrow!

[randomxm1]

HONK! HONK! HONK! It's that simple.

[GamerUntouch]

This is amazing.

[Sting3733]

This is already in place in Manhattan :p

[1IDCallaghan]

The graphics themselves are always brilliant.

[Ozstriker1337]

hahaha hillarious

[thevideoman9]

THAT IS SO FUKIN OBVIOUS!!

[ActiveStorage]

i want to meet ppl who write the scripts xD

HONK HONK HONK it's that simple

[SecularTechnology]

0:32 LOL

[fugitive011]

lol

[aSuperbadassninja]

man its so simple!

[Dacadvid]

Be sure to point a handgun out the window if you have one. People will see it and realize you need to get it fixed. It's that simple.

[mumbles005]

pure gold! obviously your taking it in for repairs. lol

[thehornypuppy]

@Dacadvid You can always get off you car and kindly shoot the people in front of you.

[calfan3]

@Dacadvid LMAO!!

[blocker444]

lol i love it! just keep honking, they'll allll just move out of the way eventually!

[GielTubes]

HONK HONK HOOONK

[Ozzy0sbourne]

Holy shit this is BRILLIANT!

If you take what they're saying as sarcasm... you can see how fucking awesomely true this is XD

[soccerchuck8]

LMAO!

[MurdertheDawn]

"In Laird, CO, centaur sought in shooting-trampling murder."

[StillnessinMotion]

98% of bands have 'serious label interest'

[shevah2]

buy those police bumpers...then scratch hte car in front of u

[BloodBird01]

It would be paradise if the world work like this.

[lucariofan508]

My God, this is genius!!!

[sttaffy]

I'm a fan of fist shaking. I also screamed at someone as loud as I could for as long as I could one time, just a primal scream. They deserved it

[Jicim]

a nice back bumper nudge and some middle fingers should send a clear message to those who are don't care how quickly they get to their destination.

[manrightchea]

How did that guy keep it together saying HONK over and over? lol

[riptiderobin15]

The 'HONK, HONK, HONK'-method is used to it's fullest in India.

[HerrMannelig]

@riptiderobin15 Even more in Egypt!

[Zycyzyx]

BRILLIANT. Glad to know someone feels the same as I do about this.

I've said for the longest time that honking your horn is as communicative (and annoying) as a dog barking.

[1125423]

LMFAO people this is satire for people being selfish and thinking they're the only ones that need to pass.

"HONK HONK HONK" its that simple

[getnick77]

I don't understand honking doesn't work for me some guy got so mad he tried to shoot me

[lileye3d]

rotfl

[kelborn24]

HAHAHAHA i love that illustration! everyone just completely moves!

[hullcrush]

In Milwaukee, I've never heard anyone honking in a traffic jam. Also, I live in Milwaukee.

[hoygans]

I live in Milwaukee too. Iv never heard it either.

[bbennoman]

Yeah. i havent heard it now that i think about past situations

[bbennoman]

I live in Milwaukee too.

[hahayouarefunny]

The only way this could have been better is if the animated driver had popped his collar.

[AW101690]

I dont think everybody can do that at the same time. very funny.

[Bozewani]

I have seen this all the time.... and it's fucking annoying.... Way to go Onion...

[SUPRaTT2007]

"or in worst case scenarios depress the horn continuously" lmao!!!

[chichigyrl06]

HONK! HONK! HONK! Its that simple.

[p1k4choo]

HAHAHAHA

[tigerluv222]

psshh. I've known this for years and used this technique frequently.

[erbeesr]

Wow! That's the mentallity of the drivers in China, especially the cab drivers. They think honking gives them the right of way even if the light is red. hehe.

[escalade624]

who funds this?

[cataphracts123]

Is that the Fonz giving me the thumbs up in the billboard?

[iswy123]

this is what half the drivers over here in israel think you have to do

not only that, drivers here get to a red traffic light, even if nobody is around, and they beep their horn, as if the traffic light will say oh sorry im red here i will change to green for you!

[dimebag5462]

EVERY EPISODE IS GREAT !!!! I swear I thought this one was a semi funny ..or Eh...episode then the very last phrase killed me I lOVE THE ONION !!!

[dunkafelic]

*dials 1-800-91-honk*

[dunkafelic]

I live in seattle and NOBODY EVER honks their horns here.....maybe that's why our traffic has gotten so bad.

[gingasnap12341]

its prolly true

[mandowarrior123]

reminds me of italian job (origional) xD gawd those italians love honking

[ellomate07]

Most traffic is due to drivers who slow down to see an accident.

HONK HONK

[kirbyman1kanden7pf]

100% true.

[ShotsloppyD]

I bought a juicer so I can pick up roadkill and make a great nauseating soup to spray on surrounding traffic with my in-trunk pressure washer. Doesn't move traffic, but it sure is funny to watch people stop and blow chunks!

[AvsJoe]

0:54 FTW

[lesterclaypool1]

im going out to buy the biggest loudest horn i can

[amazula]

"HONK... HONK.... HONK its that simple" BAHAHAAA

[ssjpui]

0:24 to 0:38 Is definately a win! And is soo lools!

[ProfBlahson1]

i second masterthibbard's idea

[jono753]

lol!

i do hate honking, i live in a big city, crap drivers (cough Paris cough) honk all the time as if it makes them go faster.

[megalith]

LOL!

[FlintTuber]

I'm really not sure about this new campaign, i think the Department of Transportation needs to take a good hard look at their studies, and consider the effects of combining multiple methods. Independant studies have shown honking alone isn't nearly as effective as honking while nudging other cars with your bumper. A honk could be directed at anyway, but a nice firm nudge of the bumper, combined with glaring and finger pointing, can clear up confusion as to what "honkee" the "honker" had in mind

[masterthibbard]

that is a very intelligent thought, but I think cars should be able to fire nails to shoot out other peoples tires to tick them off, that'll get attention.

[remkade]

This is true. Honking has been around for generations, but very little study has been done on the benefits of a soft but deliberate bump. Anecdotally speaking, I have found the liberal application of central digits to be effective in highway communication when combined with a firm nudge from the bumper.

[GBS990]

I think government should conrtol the horn button. People are either too inept or distracted to do it for themselves.

[Maestro85282]

In Seattle it's against the law to honk, you'll get a ticket for it believe it or not

[kotekzot]

it's not unique. there are many places where honking for no good reason is punishable.

[Avarice176]

Oh... great, now the gov't is involved in horn honking...*sigh.

[videosfromderelix]

quit your bitching, imagine a world where you would have to listen to some jackass honking constantly outside of your house or something late at night simply becuase there's no law against it. its not a conspiracy.

[andrewdass02]

OH MY GOWDDDDDDD! WHY DINT I TOT ABOUT THIS BEFORE!??!!???????? thank you.

[Oldage429]

Wow.

Just, wow.

What does "tot" even mean in that context?

[danxl5]

I do belive it is a greek derivitive word meaning, "to know" or "one who has previously passed cognitive intellegence".

In this context I do belive the user is trying to "think" as vauge as it may seem. My understanding of simple "Interwbs tak" in this dialect is limited so I can only paint a limited picture on the matter. If we look back to the year 2001 we see hints on the "12 year old Msn'er" noted by the lack of puncuation and it is written in a simple form of lettering known as "Caps Lock"

[sanman213]

wow your stupidity is unmeasurable, the onion makes fun of real news, think before you write sine the onion makes fun of idiots like you

[x1c3x]

haha pwn.

i really can't believe how some ppl are so stupid they believe this is for real OMG.

maybe some are a bit believable, but cmon...

---

flame wars ftw :D

[puffthemagicbison]

honk

[CleverDan31]

I like how the number for honking is one digit short

[pacatrue]

I love the graphic of all the cars moving smoothly out of the way.

[cerealboxable]

lmao

[dreadnaught09]

NEW YORKERS HAVE KNOW THIS FOR YEARS

[SPOOKYDONKEY3030]

hahahhahahah ! this shit is fucking funny !

[Crunch489]

lol "released killer thanks God for giving him a second chance to kill

[ImmigrationL]

Holy ish LMAO!!!

[Intricatename]

Of course! Why didn't I ever think of that!

[oxXBurnJesusXxo]

LMAO "HONK.... HONK.... HONK!!!"

[skillzgone2waste]

LMAOF!!!!

[Tigers828]

what?

[GRNoam]

FAIL

[cpucpu2]

laugh my ass off frantically? whatever, the video was great though!

[listerstorm239]

Thats why you should always keep a few extra-strength air horns in your glove compartment. If your battery runs out due to your honking, you can use the air horns to summon help. After hearing the air horn, someone will quickly arrive and replace your battery for you. We're all in this together.

[Trinnztubefun]

rofl 1:04 at the bottom

[legomanusa]

the trampoline murder? lol

[Hydr0xx]

uhmm Centaur. Shooting and Trampling. Not Trampoline. You know. Centaur?

[legomanusa]

ty i have my stupid moments and those moments make me think crazy things