Sh*t Project Managers Say

[fashionshow89]

SO TRUE! viva unilever!! 

[BansheeMilk]

see 'SHIT ANDY ROONEY SAYS"...so funny

[cjbutler97]

This is soooo funny! I said a bunch of these things today on a teleconference!

[sandham]

Im not sure if this is a list of good things a PM should be saying. or if its a list of bad things a PM shouldnt be doing?.

[JLRC32188]

Nobody threatened the Owners Rep either.

[JLRC32188]

It's good but obviously the PG version. Not once did I hear "F*ck You!" or really anything along those lines. A PM has one natural enemy, The Owners Rep, That individual tends to inspire many colorful rants per day, not to mention laments of poor career choices.

[jrockstarking1]

if you're pm, everything you say is shit

[DarkSmugLoser]

S.O.W.s

[boyofjazz]

lol this is the story of my life! lol

[Icureditwithmybrain]

Sh*t (gay) Project Managers Say

[biggamehitt]

HAHAHAHH 2:43

[jasonescapist]

I didn't want to like this...

[kostanza13]

Good list of tag lines ... you're clearly not project managers ... If you were you would have framed this like a shit sandwich ... start with good news,... tell everyone how much they suck ... then more encouragement. Rookies !!!

[JackBaptist]

You get good news and encouragement between hearing how much you suck? You should come work for our IT clusterfuck, I mean, department. Our Project Morons specialize in throwing people under the bus.

[heythepixies]

Aaaaah this is my life!

[Davesbahamianboo116]

Ugh reminds me of how much I hate my job! Funny video.

[VeeShay1]

1 more... guys, someone put doughnuts in the break room...

[VeeShay1]

LOL! You just gave me flashbacks! ...and they're still coming... are we on target with our deliverables? Do we have a baseline for that? Did you email me the agenda for the meeting because I don't have it...? Did you get the proper sign offs?

[jeffmoss26]

ahh the scope of work!

[EuropeanT]

So true and funny! Love it!

[Laurence02134]

Three minutes of stupid meaningless buzzwords? Yup, sounds like project managers.

The only thing not true to life was the stress eating. Most project managers I've seen take hour and a half lunches on the days they come in, and most "work at home" two or three days a week. I've never EVER seen one work past 5pm.

[JuveHero]

Is this sh*t homosexual project managers say or?

[goodfellabeats]

@JuveHero Was wondering the same thing..

[diana715m]

So true!

[nognilk]

haha...project managers, consulants, gov't workers are cut from the same cloth.

[lasalleoaks]

-_- gay people.

[justincase49]

so...are project managers homos then?

[mashkanyc]

oh man thats terrible lol so sad

[Karenwise69]

check out --> SHIT GIRLS SAY TO POLICE

[lukaqota]

The title should have been, Shit Gay Project Managers Say

[roxyndra]

"Of course no one's here... it's only 10am." HA!

[voetsjoeba]

"Yea, we're gonna need to take that offline."

Shit just got real 8|

[karabasov]

What is your ETA?

[AitorElf]

ROFL, this is sooo accurate, it is scary =D

BTW, I think good PMs are a must for a successful project.

I also find the very most of the ones I have come across were rubbish.

[MomoTheBellyDancer]

Oh, so THIS is what they are saying. I usually try to avoid listening to project managers, and I see with good reason.

[baciandrio]

OMG! As a PM, I howled...but you missed some additional items: "Did they fill out a change request?", "We don't have a signed contract, LOI or ESL" "What version of the XX are we on?" "That's a risk" "Attendance is mandatory"....and a million more 'No's", (Only because if I say it once a day, I say it a 100 times) Thanks for the laugh.

[myempathy1]

Can you identify the music?

[Brenanaification]

I didn't know all project managers were Bill Lumbergh

[jantyful]

AHHHHH!!!! LOVE THIS!  So on point!

[gastonytHQ]

this is as gay as gay sweaters

[jeff259259]

Jesus was a Project Manger

[1funnyanthropop]

The beginning said Project Mangers. I thought it was Project Managers

[Avidcomp]

Now I know why I left the industry... couldn't get access to directors and they've all been replaced by gay production managers or girlies that haven't got a clue....but are soooo sure they do...... "let's do lunch!"

[iguana8164]

Wow, I'm not alone. Macs are awesome.

[nashwestguy]

I DIE! I literally Die! I had to share with my whole team today.

[sporteeee]

oh man. I swear. This is my life. Always.

[EreciasWebDesign]

LMFAOOOOOO the ending was a classic...

[SamInRockHill]

Hahaha. I can definitely relate to this.

[rita8791]

OMG. I felt like I was watching my autobiography. This was hysterical. I'm going to share it with all of my fellow PM's.

[ibehaywire]

I felt the anxiety from here. Trying to stay on task while both ends squeeze yah... hate that job.

[AcousticJazzMaster]

Hate boring Project Managers

[705JRC]

background music WIN!!!

[navonod22]

more like 'shit bitchy queens at work say'

[coyotebreath]

How cool. I work in the building where this was filmed! 199 Fremont in San Francisco.

[sharoncarpenter03]

OMG! It's ME! Bwahahahahahaha

[EreciasWebDesign]

haha.... this his hilariousssss

[rowdytxn2000]

Project Managers are gay?

[cybeleknowles]

Hilarious!!! This is one of my favorite "sh*t people say" videos. Congratulations on doing an awesome job!"

And also, I have to express my concern about how many commenters here feel the need to say something hateful/derogatory/dismissive about the fact that characters seem gay. I don't know what to tell you. People suck. Also, despite the fact that we live in the information era, people still inhabit very narrow worlds/viewpoints.

[AMAZiNRAiNGUMBALLS]

why would beingirl like this??

[Sw1mm3r3tte]

@AMAZiNRAiNGUMBALLS

I was wondering the same thing!!!

[HumanBeing6969]

Thumbs up if you'd kill yourself if this was your job.

[natienka1]

don't remember the last time i laughed this much, i love it! so happy i've moved on tho...

[jbceg]

Haa:-) I say all of those things on daily basis :-)

[TheLilbrownbat]

Oh, so very true.

[cspankne]

fake, no real business uses Macs.

[dracodadeatheater]

@cspankne You're either a Mac hater...or have no idea how much Macs dominate certain fields of businesses...which judging by the setting of this video, looks like an Internet/Design based business...most of the people in my Web team use Mac workstations and Macbooks...including the PMs. I used to be a Mac hater (strict Linux/Windows)...then work gave me a dual quad-core Mac workstation...and then I fell in love. Don't knock it till you've tried it (or can afford to try it).

[cspankne]

@dracodadeatheater I'm amused you were to categorize my existence into one of two camps by deciphering a 6 word comment. To clarify, I meant "real" businesses, like ones that have to worry about support, compatibility, and crazy things of that nature. For instance, front page of networkworld today, article Title: 'Apple forcing IT shops to "adapt or die"'

[webguysd]

@cspankne As a Silicon Valley engineer, I can tell you that nearly every developer & PM I know here uses a Mac.

[SheltaPavee]

@cspankne they do. They just install Windows XP on them.

[hannibullster]

@SheltaPavee yes, that's because Macs go both ways! A far superior computer.

[B4n5h33Chess]

@SheltaPavee actually more are now using windows 7

[emmonkeys]

@cspankne wow thats so.. not true lol

[mijreed]

@cspankne Ad agencies, design firms, production houses, graphics houses, etc, etc

[tallguy139]

@cspankne how do u explain apple???

[petermont]

Love the Peet's cup at the end, and the Polycoms throughout. A very true and super funny portrayal.

[0428bella]

I am a PM....and this is my life. 100%!!!!!!

[kansasjennynelson]

I got a kick out of the agenda on the whiteboard.

[matpala]

Please feel free to gather at another place for all Project Managers

thenetnet.tumblr.com

[uberasra]

this makes me want to go back into the corporate world and be a pain in the ass low level employee again

[fvalencheck]

"Should we put this on the action item list"?

[gi822]

Yes I saw the typo it's managers not mangers

[JimiJamzzz]

now I want to see a good one on sh*t clients say ...

[24britt25]

Anyone catch the embarassing typo at 0:04?

[mndlsdrbl]

The meeting agenda is great!

[jiveturkeyboy]

Man....now I'm not going to be able to say any of those things without laughing. Hmm...Need to find another way to ask who we have on the line.

[eysselinck]

We need to boil the ocean to flush out these requirements by EOD or we're going to have a coming to Jesus meeting stat! Too many chiefs, not enough indians people!

[Espariobros]

 /watch?v=yaovcTrrFIM&feature=r­elated

[RWmods]

0:35 and 0:36 watch out, we're dealing with a couple badasses over here

[jalexoid]

LOL! But why are the PMs gay?

[anthonyigo]

Ha. I've heard EVERY single one of these

[wingspantt]

Annoying as hell, but the second they're gone everything falls to shit. Props to all the good PMs out there.

[dragomirova]

wow, this is accurate right down to the breaking down crying in the bathroom...been there. Thank you, loved the video- have these guys made others?



[mcdbrinegar]

This is hilarious! Thank you!!!! TOO TOO TOO close to the truth!

[jonjon72886]

woah project managers are douches... I don't want to leave school after seeing this video.

[worknman74]

LOL @1:12. Just about every meeting we have involving a projector is delayed by about 15 minutes, while they try and figure out how to turn it on. I've never had the misfortune of operating one, but those things must be complicated.

[PrODuCTioN9793]

The guy with the beard reminds me of mike shinoda.

[melonybravmann]

I needthis "yesterday"

[SarcoFuggus]

"Things Project Managers Say That I, As A Developer and Designer, Am Glad They Say Because The Client Is Always Engaging In Feature Creep."

... That isn't part of the "original ask!"

[newgle]

gay

[pattiaaron1]

OMG! I am not a PM, but I do herd cats. This was like holding up a giant mirror. I had no idea I was so cliche. I need some new terms. I'm going to consider the possibilities off-line!

[Specialkxxx]

LOVE this and I'm a PM

[lethbridgegunman]

Are all project managers gay, or just these two?

[ZackReinman]

@lethbridgegunman I was just commenting the same thing.

[SSedmak]

@lethbridgegunman Many are women.

[DoughtCom]

37 people are project managers

[klamerus]

More like SH*T gay project managers say...

[pdpgps]

What! No mention of deliverables, metrics, endless meetings?!

[CRAZY6256]

Haha I work with some of these clowns...

[MrADThomson]

Who keeps wine hidden in their desk?

[Racerover]

Shit "gay" Project Managers say you mean...

[denimpixie]

Omg...you summed up my life in 3 minutes.

[KidRichards]

Was Jesus laid in a project manger?

[JimiJamzzz]

@KidRichards . Kid, this comment made me laugh harder than the whole video. Kudos.

[densign2002]

oh matt... the end is hilarious... and im sure that bottle of wine sits next to some mini-shots. good job guys.

[amtired01]

All the people disliking this are most likely project managers.

[groovymarlin]

LOL "Who's on the phone?"

[nyoirin]

Love it. This is so true, so true!

[sascia71]

As a PM it really hurts seeing this... but I cannot stop laughing :)

[byrnine]

@sascia71 Me too! this is my life.com



[ldetino]

LOVE THIS! pretty spot on

[powel1aa]

these projects managers are mighty effeminate. what self-loathing PM worth their salt keeps a bottle of WINE in their desk? cue the arrested development "COME ON!"

[jeauxkewl]

@powel1aa Indeed. I keep a bottle of vodka or whiskey.......

[icouldsewdothat]

oh, it's all true....all of it..

[OnlyOneFever]

Thumbs up if you are counting this as one PDU.

[Daichu28]

It's soo true.. it hurts jajajaja Loved the video!

[girltm]

Great video! You're just missing a LOT of expletives (once you hang up the phone call with the client). I know, I know ... scope creep ;-)

Well done guys!

[dp24344]

"Let's put this in the parking lot for now, m'kay?"

[nognilk]

@dp24344 shit never left the parking lot...must be a big parking lot.

[GirlOfFire01]

LOL - funny..but!!! you have to give props to the good PMs - they can keep the political bs from hitting you, cause they will stand in the way and let you do your work. Probably the most thankless task ever - cause they are always caught in the middle. Pressure from above and resistance from below... So I have a high regard for good PMs... hats off to you guys!

[igel78]

This should rather be called "sh*t project managers have to face every day". It is rather sad than funny since these PM people just try to get their job done while they are dependent on other peoples' cooperation. I've done the job and have high respect for everyone who is willing to put up with all the shitty people that can be on teams and most likely will be.

[hugoestr]

The raiding of the candy bowl hahahaha

[bobechi]

@bobechi by EOD tomorrow, before the weekend if you can accommodate it! ;)

[bobechi]

It'd be great if you could revise the beginning to correct the typo "Mangers" to "Managers." Thanks.

[danielmuddiman]

Brilliant, I must sadly admit that I use these phrases and actions every single day...

[pmulliki]

Missing "strategize" and "Exercise the team"

[beefcapital]

This video has made my day :)

[cherylcroney]

They missed where we put the phone on mute and scream or curse, then we come back on the line like everything is perfect in the world! Or maybe I'm the only PM who does that??

[kitki83]

@cherylcroney Sometimes I give the finger to the phone as though its the person puking WTFLOLIDONTKNOWS$%$

[VickiVSN]

Best PM video EVER! Thank you so much. Does YouTube have annual awards yet, because I want to nominate this. 639 and 29 dislikes as of now. 639 PMs and 29 misdirected devs have voted :-P Added to blog at project-pro.us.  And yes, I love the gay managers. They pull the snark so much better than I can.

[gillettecrackers]

These managers are so gay.

[npandovska]

All it needs is "I hate my life."

[voicification]

This is awesome! Stuff missing from this is 1) overuse of the word Leverage 2) Using the word Synergy 3) Using the term going forward 4) Using the term touch base.... OTOH this could apply to a video called shit people in the corporate world say.

[pang1oss]

Presidio?

[angieap]

"God, I hate this project." Classic.

[Amanda052183]

how about

"sooooo.. this project came to me two weeks ago, and i forgot to tell you..... its due tomorrow. BYE i gotta go to starbucks now to get my half-caf, no foam, skim latte"

[UnitedKingdomify]

Hah heh ha. I really wanted to quote the thing about the design changes, post-design phase in true retarded YouTube fashion. But uh... I obviously didn't. >.<

[SanguineIllusion]

Sadly I can't even repost this anywhere because the project managers at my job are friends with me on every social network I'm on.

[pookyfever]

@MagsGraphics And so everyday /(

[TheMrcnut]

I've said all of those lines more than once. It is a coping mechanism to keep from saying, 'YOU INCOMPETENT MOUTH BREATHING MORONS *WILL* DELIVER OR I WILL F*CK THE TASTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH"

Just sayin,.

[s4to335]

What about the flushing of the toilet from one of the attendees?

[poooosh1]

We've had our souls crushed by too many dev's, account teams and clients acting with gross stupidity to not have our own language to fight back with...

That said, i do have moments of clarity when the spotlight of truth shines down and i wonder what the hell happened to my dream of changing the world *sigh* #idothosethings :-(

[MagsGraphics]

Hilarious... and sad, at the same time... :)

[joshuk1988]

Scares me how many of these things I've said without realising it's cliché

[digitalmana]

@drugfitstheface

REALLY?  You are so fucking confused and ignorant..

[1VoiceOfReason11]

Need a "Shit consultants say"!

[DesertFabMikey]

This is too funny... in a seriously sad and true way. I can only say that these two are either totally new PMs, or not PMs... they still have all their hair and give a crap how they look. LOL

[thomodachi]

@DesertFabMikey no, these are gay PMs. Gay people always look their best, even to a bitch slapping party

[AveryCloseCall]

I've said seven of these things today already.

[Ub3rn00berer]

Did you get the memo about the new TPS reports?

[NJMarine83]

Truth is funny as sh*t!