Childhood Sexual Abuse: Winning the Battle - a Male Survivor

[sweet89surrender]

i tell my story of being a victim for several years in a video...can be found at my channel. there is hope for freedom for the used. shame doesnt have to consume our lives....

[cheekyleopard]

Respect for coming out man. And your video is very touching. I hope the rest of your life brings you the happiness you deserve. Nothing can make up for the loss, all we can do is hope to appreciate the present.

[cheekyleopard]

Horrible being a male survivor.

Women get called brave, insparational, etc etc. Guys get looked at with suspicion.

For me thats worse than the abuse itself.

What a fucked up world this is.

[redpillow100]

i always felt iwas different from the other kids at primary school. different in a detrimantal way. but i never knew why . i would somtimes go into fits of depression, as a pre teen. but never knew why. i never really acted like other kids, but i did have freinds, but there was another side. but all the community saw was a kid growing up who just needed correcting (bullying), to make him like everyone else. and it only made my life worse. my victimisation still continues, now. always has done.

[orphangordie]

Wow ! I am so happy that you are on the road to recovery .. I was also abused by my uncle larry ( not my uncle ) I think I was sexually abused from a very early age . But I can only recall back to 12 -13 .. I don't remember my childhood .. Thats because it was stolen from me ( I am guessing ) I don't want to sound or be a victim .. Always thought it was ok what happened cause .. I am gay . Maybe if I could remember my childhood , I am orphangordie

[sasspot1]

Inspiring. Thank You. I have had walls up for years and don't know how to tear them down. It happened when i was 5 -6 years old. But as a 23-year-old woman today,i still feel a lot of shame,guilt, anger and sadness over it.

But good to know it is possible to get on with life.You have given me hope for myself.Thank you.

[shuntashay]

You are so strong for doing this. I hope your sisters have already contacted you. I hope you and your family can heal.

[707guitar707]

Thank you so much for posting this video. I am a woman who was sexually abused at the age of 8 by a male member of my family, and then raped at the age of 10, and now at the age of 21 am I beginning to deal with what happend to me. I had mentally blocked it out until I started having flashacks a few months ago. I am going to therapy, but it is really hard to deal with. I was having a very difficult day today and I am so glad I found this video. Thank you so much.

[nezneon]

I started being molested at age 3 by my cousin, and then by another, and another, and lately I feel like dying. I know I'm not the only one. This is the worst thing a person can do to a child. He stole my fucking innocence, and he's other there.

[keithsmithnj]

Break the Silence. At age 14, I was abducted, beaten and sexually assaulted by a previously convicted pedophile. He never went to trial because he was brutally beaten to death in the streets of Providence, RI in 1975. No one has been charged with his murder. For 34 years, less than a dozen people knew my story. Now the story of my abduction, beating and sexual assault followed by the unsolved brutal murder of my assailant is a novel. Men in My Town by Keith Smith available now at Amazon.

[ArtByLindaLee]

EXCELLENT MESSAGE Congratulations on creating awareness

[youtootambien]

i am not a victim anymore. iam not in shame.Thank you i have alot of respect for your courage to heal and share with others

[mjodat1]

all respect and peace to you .may all the higher things come to you love, compassion,tolerance,peace,str­ength, courage,hope, faith,grace etc.

[lancemckellar]

I am a survivor from Australia. Thanx for the video and for being so courageous. I went to a mens retreat called "Victims No Longer". Life changing exp. Mate ppl like you are unreal, thanx for helping me.

[barudirush]

YO! YOU HIT THE SPOT!

NO MORE SHAME! NO MORE FEAR!

This have to go to all men that were abused in childhood:

Do not blame yourself for been used!

You was a KID, fragile...

But now YOU ARE A MAN! You may feel lost, may feel afraid, but you are not a kid anymore, you can defend yourself! Rise and fight!

And please, helpother kids to fight it too, don't be afraid, speak up!

[cheekyleopard]

Im a male survivor aswell.

Respect to you and stay strong man.

[talibilm1]

hey... my heart goes out to you ... i hope and pray you find peace... and get out of this life of suffering... and live life. i guess you know what im trying to say...take care bro

[invisblewall]

when you said.... dont live in shame....its not your fault. I just...staretd crying...... so much....

thank you

[NonaWeHamada]

God bless u takes alot courage to be open with this being a male ... all respect

[MidActs9]

Thx for posting your vid, bro.

I know now that if we were to meet and talk, that you and some of those who commented, here, would know and understand exactly what has been going on inside me, these past years.

Even though i became a Christian, because of what happened to me, i still live as a loner and behind a mask.

I think i moved a step forward, though, because of your video

Thx!

[fuckeveryone09]

RESPECT!

[Bluesage2009]

The evil pricks who prey on children, i was fucking 4 to 8 years of age, pissed on, spat on, forced to have anal sex, oral sex, beaten....... Please show some fucking humanity... you do not understand what true suffering SUFFERING!! is.... You must look deeper, before you mock!! those who live with stolen childhoods!, and stolen years of their adult lives!...

[fuckeveryone09]

what are you on about man, don't lose the head, I wasabused myself and suffer many things you describe and im only 20....

I meant respect to whoever made this film, don't fuckin lose the head at me, there many people in the world who are fucked up be cause of the abuse they suffered, it's the worst thing that can happen to you as a kid..

but revenge is a mutherfucker, sorry for what your going through mate, believe me Iow you feel, everyday is a struggle not to just rope yourself.

[Bluesage2009]

hey man, really sorry, message is not directed towards you, at all!........ It was the other prick below....

Keep strong, it does get easier with age or mabye you just learn to be see some plus's in it... i woman once said to me, another abuse victim.... "i have a feeling we are very powerful is this world"........ more i thought about that, more amazing it was....

Take care man,

Respect from australia.

[fuckeveryone09]

no bother man, what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger, that's what I say to my self when im havin hard time -

It take the coward's way out, good luck buddy

[fuckeveryone09]

whats the song at the start mate ?

[mp4401]

hey arnel were you in my science class in wimbledon college? remember when you raped me?? i still have the stitches from the assault

[lemongrass64]

My name is Arnel, when i was a kid, i was molested by two high school students in the library. They followed me home and raped me along the way. And you know what the worst thing was? I LIKED IT!!! I have never felt so good in my life. Today i molest and rape kids to spread my cum. MUMMY FTW!!!

[Bluesage2009]

Absolutly fucking Disgusting. Wake up to yourself fucking moron.

[mp4401]

my name is james ives and i was raped by my teacher and my father. when he raped me i orgasmed by his penis glans gliding against my prostate gland. it confused me inside so much i am not sure if it made me gay because i can only cum by imagining my father raping me when he came home drunk after losing his job as a bus driver. how ironic it is that i am a bus driver now and i express my pain by being gay and anal penetration. this is an amazing video, i can relate to it so much.

[Bluesage2009]

Not sure the need for it to be so graphic in detail. No only is it provoking to non abuse victims and homophobs', explicit comments like these are serve no purpose other then to potentially antagonise people......

[xXxanxiusxXx]

Thats powerful thanks for posting your story

YOU are going for LIFE something you should have had from the start

i am trying to do the same thing ,walked out of the hospital with dificulty AND met family members i havent even met before(after 11 years of isolation,drugs,alcohol and meds) and they like me and they give me a warm feeling something i didn't expect after 11 years but perhaps for me its somewhat easier because i have D.I.D.

surround yourself with people you feel at ease with :)

[xXxanxiusxXx]

That would be my '2 cents' ,thats what i want to do but i am a long way from there.

This video is uplifting for me thanks again for sharing it with us :)

You deserve the verry best and i wish you nothing but the best

friendly greetings,

Constantijn

[Angloth]

im almost paranoid when it comes to this shit. i cary a shank werever i go. i feel for all of you, because it scares the living crap out of me.

all the best, guys, and girls.

[reVerse2bfree]

Great video. Thank you so much for making this very important and infomation packed (both personal and general)video and for speaking out.

[keithsmithnj]

Break the Silence. At age 14, I was abducted, beaten and sexually assaulted by a previously convicted pedophile. He never went to trial because he was brutally beaten to death in the streets of Providence, RI in 1975. No one has been charged with his murder. For 34 years, less than a dozen people knew my story. Now the story of my abduction, beating and sexual assault followed by the unsolved brutal murder of my assailant is a novel. Men in My Town by Keith Smith available now at Amazon

[sisterelena]

More Power to you my brother!

Good on you for having the courage to speak out and raise awareness. So long as we are silent the abuse will continue, denial and lies live on.

From one survivor to another I wish you happiness, love, success, joy and healing. Let us affirm:

"I am magnificent and special. I am a gift from God to the world. I deserve the best life has to offer. I stand tall and hold my head up high."

More Love to you Bro! You Rock!!!

[TheRealBranzg]

My daddy used to touch me :(

[thechildrensoutreach]

This is beautiful. I'm trying to help out children that has gone through abuse like this with my channel. Nice to see you came out and shared this.

~God bless

[Dallass33]

We are brothers, good job. Having a life finally in your 40's is something we share. Memories came back at 38. I got validation and I'm fighting the good fight like you. I'm proud of you.

[alexeymosco]

Thank you for this great video. I am a survivor too, and I am a member at MaleSurvivor. There are lots of male survivors of child sexual abuse, and it is good to know that they talk about themselves.

[fahadalvi]

thanx a lot for that video it just shows i am not alone i have been a victim of sexual abuse myself in the same age bracket as you...i would like to support what u said by reassuring that its all abt faith in urself

[bridge3s]

thanks

[cephbrem]

Very nice piece about a horrific topic, I am female but it is the same for me. I cry when I hear you declare it is not my fault. My wall is still strong but I am working -to tear that wall down. Thanks for this.

[beukmeister]

I have endured a long legal battle to gain compensation for my sexual abuse. It is now over, but oh what a terrible experience it was- to relive all those bad memories. But I HAD TO DO IT.I stood up for myself and all survivors of sexual abuse.

Life today is still very hard. I am very sad and very alone. Who understands what I go through. I am afraid of others. It is hard to live in this world. But I try..one day at a time.

[talibilm1]

Respect..

[strongbowtiscali2]

I reported the person who had sexually abused me back in 2001. It was taken to court and he was allowed to walk free. Half of the battle is there's been no justice . Now and again i get really depressed not to the point where i try suicide but to the point where i am immobilised for weeks. This happens often. The last time i was like this just before xmas 2008 i made a claim for compensation because someone should be made to pay for the hurt. My claim was successful.

[strongbowtiscali2]

I think unless its out of your system for good and out of your system until the day you die then theres always going to be a part of you thats a victim. That victim can come forward anytime in the form of depression, alcoholism, anything that takes the pain away. Being angry is the biggest part of it all. Angry that it happened and angry that it still happens. Angry because you hate paedophiles. Nothing can take it away. Its something you learn to live with.

[GreenGoblin32]

happiness is just another drink and cigarette away. i didnt survive but atleast im still moving

[willastro06]

I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I still struggle with the guilt, pain and the shame from it. I try not to think of it but I am coming to realize that I can not escape my past. One of my biggest struggle is being able to forgive myself and the person who abuse me. This issue has engulfed my life and I only wish that it never happened. Thank you for your video and may God bless you.

[SummonerMinky]

Thank you so much for sharing this video. My boyfriend is a survivor and I've been doing all I can to help him through his pain. Sometimes I doubt I'll have a big enough impact, but I love him so much and I hope that male survivors living in total silence will come to know that there are people they can talk to. There are people that care and are willing to support you.

Once again, thanks for this video. You're a total inspiration and I know this is going to help a lot of male survivors.

[undoingthewrongs]

i was molested by a step uncle when i was 6,...i never told,...i didnt even understand what happened to me untill many years later...and now i can see the affect it has had on me...its something that will aways be a part of me.

i know so many people in my life who were sexually abused....i hate this world we live in,..such confused hatefull rotten people doing things evil things to children, even now people are trying to legitimize the sexual abuse of children,...will it ever end?

[jcubmsp]

I am 28, and i was molested for 3 and half years by an uncle on my moms side. I agree we are survivors. Its been a roller coaster for the past 12 years but I'm in a good place. I am now starting my own fight against stopping it. I know i am only one person but if we survivors join and become one. We can make a difference.

[Bluesage2009]

This is why those of you who are homophobic, MAKE MISTAKES, directing all that hatred toward US, those who you have been victims of abuse, as they "feel" our shame as some sort of homosexual trait.

This is why Hate and prejudice cause so so much suffering....

If you SENSE something in another, "victimness"... FOR LOVE OF GOD.... PLEASE BE KIND...stop abusing, those abused... its HURTS. I was a 4 yr old KID!..

I

[Bluesage2009]

I am almost 30............

This stuff is not about weather you feel guilty or not, it gets so deeply into you subconscious. My life has been living hell, my body, mind and ability to love have been clouded. But i am awakening

Suicidal for the past 9 years of my life 10+ different meds......... i am about to turn 30 this month, and i am off to study Social Science (Counselling) finally, ...... 3 years study, which will lead to a job as a CHILD PROTECTION OFFICER.

[talibilm1]

Respect man! child protection. thats whats needed. It shouldnt hurt to be a child!

[krissy4nik]

Thanks for having the courage to speak out im sure your story has helped alot of people especially young men who are afraid or feel guilty.

[dutchkevin90]

I'm a survivor to, with the help of my boyfriend I got help.

I know now that it was not my fault, and that a lot of problems I had/have are related to what happened to me then.

It's still a struggle every day.

But little by little it gets better!

With the help of people that love me,

I will put it behind me, some day.

Kev

[19lfm12]

Excellent! Thanks for this vid!

The most difficult thing for a survivor to realize is that is is NOT their fault! Until this is comprehended, the person becomes self-loathing/self-destructive­, and often has trust/relationship problems. Blame must be rightly placed on the abuser.

Thank God for your proper understanding of this, and for being able to go on with your life!

[hpdinme]

thank you... I am very thankful to God for this too.

and... it's not just the 'fault' aspect that's so terrible... the 'SHAME" is what kills us from behind the curtain until we can release it. the sad thing.... its a false shame in reality because we did nothing to deserve it... so at that point you have to deal with fault, culpability and this hopefully finally forgiveness to yourelf (though it not your fault)

[seayshore]

(quote)Whether male or female... child sexual abuse is very real. Often, we, the victims live well into our adulthood before we are psychologically ready or equipped to begin facing and correcting the trauma that has occurred and the aftermath that it may leave in the wake of our lives. (end quote)

Amen. It wasn't until I was in my early 50's did I dare to talk about my abuse. It's been a long long journey. Thank you for your post. I am a female survivor. I remember.

[keepchildrensafe]

I am hoping that after showing your video to my son that maybe he will also become a survivor. He was sexually assaulted by my exboyfriend from the ages of 3 to 6. Now 17 it still affects him so bad that he tried to attempt suicide 2 weeks ago but was found and stopped by a friend. After showing him your video he said he can relate to most of it. Thank you i think you may have given him the hope he needed to start becoming a survivor.

[hpdinme]

i am sorry to hear of that abuse but am glad that maybe my video can help him and maybe you too.

take care and be strong and positive.

[justmine4me]

Stay strong.

Love,

[keepchildrensafe]

Thank you very much. It's been a long hard fight and we will continue to fight and if it just saves one other child from being abused by this man then it will all be worth it.

thank you for your support hpdinme and justmine4me

[YosefArie]

And it takes guts to do a video as yours.. I will watch it often... I still have so much work to do..so many scars... I'm also on my way... bu tthanls for your nice done video... I am A SURVIVOR, I can chose to be happy and not to suffer everyday, I don't have to harm myself... :)

[GoldZap]

Bravo.

[candy3A3Z]

Thank you for making this. I too am an abuse survivor and tell myself I don't have to live with this pain anymore. I don't deserve it. I wish you well on your healing journey.

[cuddlebearbrasseur]

I too am a childhood sexual abuse surviver...a family member was my abuser ...i was 5 yrs old when it started and 8 yrs when i told my mother nothing was done till my younger sister came forward at age 7 she is 2yrs younger so to all you parents who watch this video and read these comments BELIEVE YOUR CHILD WHEN THEY SHARE SOMETHING SO HURTFUL WITH YOU!!!

[dolcemusic]

Congratulations to decide to go on with your life. You decide what to do with it, and of course, the right way is to enjoy it! You are a model to follow, and with you testimony you are helping on healing process of many persons. God Bless you every day, and always remember to smile. For every person who see this video: a better life is possible, just remember the intimate purity inside us.

[jacktenor]

i was abused by my grandfather from the day i can remember. i was then put into boarding school as a junior, where the senior boys used to beat us if we didnt do sexual things to them...i had one teacher that helped me as i was so painfully shy...then he drugged me and tied me to a bed and raped me...i woke up in hospital where they had to stitch me back up again...i tried to commit suicide after but it didnt work...i have never told anyone this!!!!!

[mirageee131]

I know how you feel. The shame, the feeling of being "impure"

i, too, had gone through the such event, though not as extensive as yours..

It's been 5 years since that event and after that, my life seem to be tearing apart. However, after seeing this video, i know i could reshape my whole life. Thanks :)

[audrEYheart21]

any kind of abuse in one's childhood messes up that person's adult life. we can either become self-destructive or others-destructive (haters or abusers). what u've become is like becoming a butterfly after living like a caterpillar; like being a freed repunzel after a childhood locked up in a tower by a wicked witch. ur so beautiful now - always were... i love you ;-)

[rockerchik76]

I am also a victim of child abuse, but now i choose to be a survivor. It took a long time and help and support, but now i am finally living again for the first time. I give you alot of credit to put this video on. anyone who wants to connect with me to find support, as much as i can give, please feel free to contact me. God bless you all!

[delkitten]

... and i'm ashamed to admit, it often felt the only way to come to terms with it was to do the same thing to some other poor kid....so i went back to therapy, and now i'm living a supposedly "normal" life.... the price is that i've become increasingly defensive overtime and that affects everything i do.... self doubt still lingers....so effectively i may never heal entirely.... but i'm getting there, i think!!

[delkitten]

here's the thing, it's not always men who victimize, we all know that much, but the people who do this to others may well have been victims themselves in the past....i'm a guy and i was molested by my teacher in second grade, then by my male cousin in 5th.. i hated them both, and yet i depended on them...they made me weak, they broke my spirit and it felt even worse when they left. i did therapy and went to anonymous meetings to get over it, but i couldn't stand up to THEM...

[MelodyInMyHeart]

Awesome. Thank You for speaking out...I'll join you! God Bless You. Welcome to a Brand New Life...

[nellmadh1l]

Wow you are a role model!!! U R a survivor and a fighter!!! fight for what U want!!!

[6our6vampire6hearts]

damn you're the bravest guy ever. thought I have to say, I'm not sure god is to thank for how you stood up for yourself and began to come over such huge emotional obstacles, it was all you dude :) STAY STRONG!

[700016597]

I personally don't believe in God . As if there is a Mighty God in this case would have safed this innocent boy! So to me God is only BS!

To all male genders reading my comments,

This is time that we as male should say enough is enough. Look guys any evil things happens around the world are commited by male genders. At least 99.99 percent.

Iam not a gay and I'm not surprised to see more female become homosexaul becuase of so much shit going thorough with male gender.

Philosopher Mac

[TheLonelyImmortal]

Aww the video was going so well and you blew it by thanking GOD of all entities. What happened to the boy who struggled to free himself from the fear and shame, to become a man? What happened to the therapy and hard work that you put into helping yourself overcome all of this? You thank GOD?! Thank YOURSELF.

[700016597]

Thelonelyimmortal,

I love your comment. You simply hit the nail right on head!

Yours truly,

Philosopher Mac

[myrdd72]

well did you ever stop to think that maybe God did help him through this? how can you know exactly what he felt? no two people are the same and if he says it was God then it must be true.

[700016597]

myrdd72,

God help him thorough all these pain, Where was God when this powerless child was in hands of Fucking Evils? It is all about indivdauls , one survive and one can not!

in this guy case , he tends to survive!

[myrdd72]

Well God didn't create evil. Evil is a rebellion against god, but through his mercy he protects the innocent. It doesn't matter if you survive or not for salvation is available to all who suffer.

[TheLonelyImmortal]

No no. This is just one of the many instances where people don't give themselves (or some important/guilty person) credit for something that they clearly did themselves without any help from mythological characters. False belief, in this case, just gave him an excuse to be strong. The strength came from only him.

[myrdd72]

But don't you see that it takes strength to believe in God? False belief? that sounds more ludicrious than anything. Of course it took strength to pull himself out of this, but it was a life changing experience that made him a better person in the end. Obviously you don't know anything about that or you would understand.

[cephbrem]

I had the same feeling too. Where'd that come from?

[hpdinme]

i hope you are doing well. are you?

[love4pancho]

It is hard to be a survivor. I am there with you. Thank you for your courage. Your video made my day.

[n3onyx]

All I can say is that i am deeply inspired by the courage that it this video must've taken. You have come quite far my friend, i respect your strength that you could choose the right path for yourself. You're yet another example of the innate strength in every mind.

[theoneandonly96]

God bless you man, takes alot of balls to do this video.

[vloom00]

Amazing. Moving. So courageous and brave. Thank you.

[Yazzelle]

What a wonderful, powerful message. You have my deepest respect for putting your story out there, especially since you are a male survivor (as we know males tend to be far more hesitant to come forward about being abused). Your message will undoubtedly speak to many.

Bless you. And congratulations on embarking upon a life full of meaning and wellness. =)

[breach4]

you are truly a brave man. :)

[Dr490n5pr1d3]

As a fellow survivor (my brother for seven years raped me. I forgave him, but loving or caring about him is a different matter. It may sound weird, but the two can coincide, forgiveness and disdain)Thank you. Poignant does not begin to describe. I am a male, I am Gay, and I am a survivor. Being gay does not mean I wanted it. It means I am gay. I am happier now than ever before. Thank you for making sure people know, that people hear, that we are all subject to this. Noone should be alone.

[wasp2905]

I had the same experience and I think when someone of your close family is the abuser it can be most destructive, I have been battling for all my life with this and I can´t start to tell you how much energy and life this memories suck away from me. I lack trust in people and worst of all in myself, but it is important not to give in, as long as there´s life there's hope. I now have a family and two small daughters I love above all but my marriage is in a downslide. Thank you all!!

[700016597]

Wasp2905,

Your words full of hope and energy for many people out here. Don't let your marriage goes downfall. It was not your fault and you are a survivor. You have two beautuful kids and make sure stand by them. It is not anymore about you it is about your own family. You survived the rough days. I'm sure those kids put so much smile on your face everday and that should take away the pain of you.

Please be strong , be yourself and be a good parent!

Yours truly,

Philosopher Mac

[freedfromevil]

Thanks for having the courage to tell your story. I feel bad for the negative remarks some make. Don't listen to them, they are hardened people. It seems like you want to help others and are a caring loving soul.

God bless you

[leaka13]

your not complaining because someone took something from you. your complaining out of shame that you was powerless. wake up dude, we are all powerless against the whim of what ever is thrown our way. where did you get these false ideals that you really can do anything about anything? the only thing that we have power over is our attitudes. and yours, my friend is pathetic. please go grow some balls.

[hpdinme]

Wake up dude?

WTH?

I'm not complaining. I'm telling it like it is.

No, I can't really do much about many things...

It would be nice though if we could erase many things.... and some people that use YT as well ;)

ps... you end the comment with 'friend' in it... I dont have friends that lack compassion or empathy or even just respect for another as your comment indicates may be lacking in you.

good luck to you in you search for whatever you were searching for. I doubt it was CSA.

[ajmahari]

I hope you know how courageous you are! Wonderful, powerful video. I am a sexual abuse survivor too. You are so correct, it is not ever the child's fault. There is no shame in facing the pain and opening back up to life and getting our lives back. There is no shame in admitting we were abused. As you say, it was not our fault. I wish you all the best in your therapy. I am sure you will do well. I have been through that and it is a wonderfully freeing process.

Be kind to yourself :)

[memeXtine]

we all know victims

we all know victims

we all know victims

we all know victims

we all want to cry

[bamina123]

very touching and poignant ...

[hpdinme]

yeah... i guess it takes courage.

but on another aspect... well there's really no 'option' for me anymore. it has to be reckoned with... i cant keep living like it never happened. My T is hosting a 'group' meeting with a few of us next week...

i'll have more to share about 'courage' & 'willingness' after that. i already have a message but want to ask the others if they feel the same way.

it's about a 'weird' thought i have and have had at times about the 'reality' of it all.

hard to explain

[luckymac4024]

my heart goes out to you. i too was abused when i was about 9-13 but never thought of it as abuse. ( i thought it was love) but never had the courage to say anything so just tucked it away. never to be spoken of. So the courage that you have to speak out is just AMAZING.

[hpdinme]

love... it's messed up how they make us think huh?

i can't really define how i think i should feel now... hate them, be indifferent, love them, forgive them and then have love for them -WTF?

who knows...

i'm not there. for now, i am mad and can't understand them and 'how' they could do that.

but even that's not really my focus for now -i think. i am learning to overcome the way they conditioned me allowed for so much more crap in my life.

i dont hate me anymore.

[Droidparty]

Amazing video. I don't pretend to understand what you've gone through. But I know your message is needed for the many (frighteningly large number of) people living through this.

Your not a victim,you are a survivour. thank god for your strength.

Peace mate

Wes.

[hpdinme]

thanks. i'm glad for you that you 'don't understand'

it sucks. it's okay once getting to a point to deal with it. getting there can really suck.. i'm there (my 2nd time) and am going to complete my stuff this time... that's good though it sucks at times.

it's hard to explain. at least for me and for now.

[wakafallen]

my friend was abused, then she commited suicide,

i'm glad there's another survivor, because i wished she'd survived

[hpdinme]

i'm sorry to hear about your friend. i have gotten close to that point in a 'for real' basis a few times. it's no good.

take care

[pb9uk]

i wont to be able to tel my story.i came on here to do so but CARNT it is simler to yours.MY GOD WY DO WE LET THEM LIV.'i carnt'

[hpdinme]

dangit.. i just made a reply -it doesnt show.

I am sorry you too are a victim like me. It sux. I understand your 'question' above and those feelings. I do. 2 of my family predators still walk this planet. I understand.

You are welcome to email me if you need to talk, scream, vent or whatever.

Please take care of yourself. In time things do/can be better.

[Clobberbob55]

My brother.

I applaud your courage.

I value your friendship.

[hpdinme]

thank you clobberbob...

i value your's too

[memeXtine]

we all know victims

we all know victims

we all know we want to cry

we all know victims

we all know

we

know

we all want to cry

[absinthD]

dude ur courage is remarkable..its too hard to b a victim like that and come out in public..sorry to hear abt ur childhood...u cm out as a face for so many ppl to think to look after more carefully evn for a male child.

peace and love.

[hpdinme]

thank you. peace and love to you as well.

[STRONGBOWTISCALI]

im depressed because of it

[hpdinme]

are you depressed becuase of the video? or becuase you are a victim/survivor and that makes you feel depressed?

i'm sorry you're depressed. I know how crappy that can be.

i hope you feel better soon.

[STRONGBOWTISCALI]

Well mainly because im a victim. I dont go around thinking im a victim and i do try to put it all behind me. I was diagnosed with depression in 1997 and i still have bouts although i dont feel suicidal i just tend to lock myself away for weeks on end. I was sexually abused for around 7 years by a so called friend of the family. Later in life i went to the police and had him charged. It went to Court but he was allowed to walk free. I didnt even get the chance to speak. Thanks for your reply :)

[hpdinme]

well.. once again I find myself saying I'm sorry that you to are a survivor... there sure are lot's of us -sadly.

re. the court/perp thing - THAT SUCKS!

I think its great that you tried. Walked Free huh? That's just wrong... how many more -i gotta wonder.

Anyhow, I glad to meet you. Next time you find yourself shutting down and locking-up... please reach out to us.

Take care of yourself.

Flynt

[hpdinme]

YellowPianoGirl, thank you. I really like what you are doing in your messages.

I like the notion you have about the telling it from the -your kid's- point of view...

I'll give that some thought...

hmmmm... a bit scary isnt it?

maybe, i kinda think so.

take care. i'm glad you're facing it and getting better and more strong.

[toliq29]

Brother-survivor- thanks for your courage! Powerful and full of hope!

[hpdinme]

hi toliq29... how are you doing today?

[HOURGLASSCORSETLASS]

Powerful & moving video....I had 3 different abusers. Mine started at 3 and lasted way too long!! Healing is possible, and I know it was not my fault! Your a very brave & wonderful man to share your experiences with others. I am so sorry you had to endure these experiences in your life. You are in my thoughts.

[hpdinme]

i'm so sorry to hear that you had multiple too. When i was younger & just started to have notions, memories, I was freaked out to see that it was multiple people. 1 is bad enough right? multiples? for a while i doubted it all. thought i made it up in my head. impossible... then the body memories started.

i wish it was impossible. sadly, it's not. it fills me with anger and 'other' stuff too.

[hpdinme]

Hourglass...

i hope you are doing well. i hope you are past this point. if not, i hope you will be soon.

[Lollyann25]

thank you for this moving and truthful video. i teach psychology. i am a mental health therapist. i am a survivor. i will share this story with others. god bless you. Laurie

[hpdinme]

thank you lolly ann... i wish i had no story to tell... no message to give... i wish i had 'no reason' but I do and today i face it and move forward. 20 years ago i thought i had dealt with it all.. i just had my eyes opened and then I kinda shut down again... yuck.. my life has been so crazy up and down since then...

a

tomorrow... tomorrow will be better than yesterday. in all ways!

[hpdinme]

and... God bless you too.

that's what it takes.

[Shestarr]

Flynt,

This brought tears to my eyes. Both of sadness and of joy. And without even thinking, I lifted you up to our Heavenly Father in prayer.

I am very thankful for the survivor in you who is both talented and possesses the drive to creatively put these videos together solely for the sake of someone's healing.

May God bless you and keep you always, ~Ki

[hpdinme]

thank you.

i hope are finding peace too. i have you in my prayers for the struggle and decisions you have before you. i do.

[beukmeister]

Thank you for your encouragement to me. You are like a brother even though i have never met you. You hear my pain and you know the walk.We are hear to help each other, to walk the mile, and help bear the load. Praying for your next stage of recovery, that you will have the strength and courage to face the big issues. lOVE YOU BROTHER

[beukmeister]

Thanks for your honesty and encouragement to me- a survivor too. My inner soul has been crushed. I feel I am on an island. I fear people. I fear intimacy. I have spent 15 years in therapy, and am slowly healing with little steps. I survive one day at a time. With God's help I can face tomorrow.

[hpdinme]

Sorry to hear that you too had to endure,at least you are a survivor and it sounds like you are facing it and doing thingsto make yourself healthy and have a better life.

Tes, with God's help you can face tomorrow. It takes more than just 'us' to get strong. We were intended to live good lives. He wants that for us. Take care of yourself & keep doing those little steps.

My T just asked me if I thought i was ready to start the Trauma Resolution.... Yikes... It's scary but 'yeah, it's time'

[fulfordianthus]

man thank u for share u feeling and I will pray for u,,,,keep fighting like the survivor that u are...

[hpdinme]

thanks for the prayer.

[cephbrem]

Wish i had a happy answer but I am glad for your asking..........