If we now consider the artificiality of the consumer needs prefabricated and ceaselessly stimulated by modern industry — if we recognize the emptiness of leisure activities and the impossibility of rest — we can pose the question more realistically: What would not be wasted time? Or to put it another way, the development of a society of abundance should lead to an abundance of what?
Always flattering when people take the time to reference yours truly, and I thank you for that. If you want a bit of tech advice, check the 'other channels' module on my channel page and you'll see 'noobstomper.' sony vegas is what i use, but i also use a few programs from the adobe creative suite in conjunction. there are a few sony vegas tutorials posted there at the noob. maybe look into it when you get the time. thanks again for the shout out.
@BETonthisHORSE Thanks man. I DLed Vegas as a trial yesterday and spent the evening playing with it. Having done that I'm even more impressed by the quality of your videos, because there really isn't the kind of flexibility I was expecting.
Cheers, I am 'rad' when it isn't September in Britain. You caught me at a bad time of year... but I know you understand that because I saw your own video on the topic yesterday whilst trawling the back catalogue.
I can generally tell when you will be having a sad video, and it's when the laundry is drying in your kitchen. So, when I see your drying rack, I have to save those videos for when I am in a stable emotion frame of mind. Thanks, for being consistent, though.
@MsAneThrope Wierd, really? I never noticed that. Well spotted.
If you like, I can start putting a * at the end of the titles of videos which should come with a trigger warning? (to be honest, you might be better laying off my videos until about March - I can't help the way winter makes me, but I'm happy to demarcate them for you.
...to someone's life... Have you ever considered teaching English to asylum seekers, or befriending the homeless? I've done these and it's very rewarding because you can see that you are making a difference, however small.
As for working 9-5, I completely agree. It's soul destroying. That's a crucial part of the problem right? People are too busy trying to survive to fight for anything :-(
I'm so sorry you feel alone, I've been (and often still go) there. Thank you for your videos. <3
dont give up! i think you are great. honestly. come live with me i the the lakedistrict. i have a two roo cottage and your very welcome..if you can put up with me! im a 36 year old guy.
BULLSHIT! You are such an interesting person. You've obviously inspired a lot of people on here and it doesn't matter than it's 'only youtube' because it's REAL people you're inspiring right?! Your poetry channel is awesome; you should def pursue performance poetry!!!
I don't think volunteering has to be adventurous though, unless you want it to. Main thing is that it makes a difference...
A lot of those goals on your list are immediately attainable. Free video editing software isn't hard to find (look for "open source"). Eight-tracks are getting cheaper all the time. No one gets good at drums without practice. Stuff like that, just carve out some time for yourself and go for it. With no one else around, you're free to do whatever. Don't let your personal routine cripple you.
Get rid of all these goals of yours. Goals are for well off people with money who have too much time on their hands. Its not for people who are dependant on cigerettes and weed. Its for energetic people.
You need to just chill out and avoid anything that requires too much effort and hard work
@Nuron666 im all for smoking but,surely smoking is more effort & hardwork :P each time you drag it damages your lung,the body is then working overtime to repair it and does ,but then the next day same thing leading to scars and scars ontop of scars until your coughing this is when you should give up as theres to many the body cant heal them in time,also neglects the rest of your body is what accelerates ageing so isnt it better to have goals which moderates smoking there for wont waste away :)
@exdribbler I personally dont smoke or drink. I am just thinking Boundless is kind of dependant on weed. The problem is, if your dependant on these substance, then if you run out of this weed stuff then your going to feel depressed and you will need to get hold of some weed to make yourself feel good again.
The only solution is, you need to get off it completely then you can concentrate on your goals.
@Nuron666 i did weed upto about 19,stopped because i eventually perfered doing other things 'grew out of it' but doing both is what weighed it up for me ,use to smoke it with tobacco so obviously still smoked but gave up for 4 years infavour of motorcycling, if i brought cigarettes no cruising with workmates at the weekend due to fuel costs although i started again after the place shutdown and lost touch with everyone but addiction is really enjoyment until its replaced cant just stop really
@Nuron666 true although there needs to be somekind of routine that links to the outside world with doors else will dominate especially if smoking is the only enjoyment that gets you threw the day, will tend to guard it with your life alcohol is the real depressant which is why i advise moderating rather then stopping cos just stopping will make you really hungry and more determined so will end up consuming triple more then before making it worser heh
@exdribbler your probably right mate. You know more than me. What do I know. I never had alcohol or smoked weed.
I suppose everyone is different. I enjoy just sitting around doing nothing, watching TV. I could spend hours and hours doing jack shit. For others they will find my way of life really boring.
@Nuron666 yeah your in the right place , deep down we miss that pleasure of doing jackshit and being content without the aid of drugs but our dopamine levels are screwed even when giving up its not the same anymore , like being excited over 1 pound pocket money , after earning thousands can never be the same again can it.
@exdribbler I am no way in a right place. I lack any ambition or drive. But I am addicted to gambling. I love gambling on horse racing. Lost thousands of pounds on backing horses and internet casinos.
@Nuron666 I SO dig this comment! I can spend hours doing stuff when others would say "DUDE! Get a life!" But I just can't do what most people do for fun! I can get addicted to pc games like ... *snaps fingers* that. I'll keep hammering my pleasure centre into oblivion each night. I suppose my pc is to me as marijuana is to my wife. We know our lifestyle is unhealthy. But to want to change, you need a fucking good reason.. or possess a masochistic level of self-discipline.
@Silkspine oh and I almost forgot lol .. nice to see you Jess ;) hang in there matey, keep the gloves up, keep on punching. Whatever else you may or may not be, you at least have the balls to speak your mind, say it like it is.
@Silkspine addiction is not good for us. PC games addiction aint that bad. Gambling is very bad cause you end up losing money. Its not a good feeling when you lose.
@Nuron666 Nah it ain't a good thing. Yeah that's a fair point about gambling. I hope you can get some help for it soon mate before too much harm is done - we have a gambling addiction phoneline we can call here in Australia, it is advertised on TV sometimes. My addiction is simlar to gambling in that I'm fishing for that sweet spot feeling when everything goes right. I really like exdribbler's 1 pound pocket money analogy - that is exactly how it is for me. Take care.
@Silkspine I have had some help with my gambling addiction, they have this psychological therapy centre round where I live. I have cut down now. Much more sensible now. I still gamble, but with small stakes.
@Nuron666 No. I know my lifestyle is not ideal, I feel it sometimes. Sometimes Im crying out for more human fellowship. But is it enough to change? My wife and I have coevolved... she's an alco, I'm a pc addict. It's like the book where a boy makes a face... and the wind changes... and his face gets stuck. I suppose I've had to manage the addiction so I can keep my job, make time for wife, family etc, but get rid of it.. uh uh. it's been really good talking about it with a real person.
@Silkspine I'm really glad you got some help. Sounds like you're doing well! If you can manage the gambling and keep on top of it, that's terrific. It may always be a weakness, but if you can plan for it (only make a certain amount of money avail etc) I see that as no worse than what my wife does sometimes - she'll tell me to hide the bottle of bourbon after she has measured out a certain amount. Me rationing my time on pc... similar deal, easier when I have plans I can't break.
I love listening to your crap. Really do. One day it would be cool to talk to you to see if you'd laugh a bit. Sort of ricochet from down to up & so on. I guess really I just hope to see you fall in love on here so things would be quite lighter. It will happen soon enough, i'm sure. Patience virtue yadda. Sigh.
Keep doing what your doing. Many eyes are on your candid self.
I love listening to your crap. Really do. One day it would be cool to talk to you to see if you'd laugh a bit. Sort of ricochet from down to up & so on. I guess really I just hope to see you fall in love on here so things would be quite lighter. It will happen soon enough, i'm sure. Patience virtue yadda. Sigh.
Keep doing what your doing. Many eyes are on your candid self.
Hola, beautiful you have connected with me on a deep level, and despite the ocean separating us I want to communicate with you. Let's start a shameless e relationship and make private videos back and forth! And you can make friends and have hobbies by getting out and joining book groups or music clubs, you have to make yourself do it! I KNOW it is hard to do, I had the same problem, but by making yourself go out even if your tired is the only way to get out. I think this will help the SAD
@moonknightify I meant every word I said in my video about you, lets talk via PM or private video I know you can do it JESS, I BELIEVE IN YOU! I LOVE YOU ! your buddy, Moon
Depression isn't anything to apologize about. You know that already, right? Especially when there are so many abusers and oppressors out there in the world. There's such a huge difference between you eating your breakfast and people with actual power approving economic policy they know will cause widespread hunger. Or you flushing your toilet and someone damming a river to water a golfcourse. We all need to stop identifying with our enemies.
Well, nobody would have known it was your family name...until you told!
I like to think of myself as a healer...last week I told a guy on YT that he's a bullshit artist, and healed him..
Maybe it's the weather..the season's changing..and here in Canada I can feel my energy going with the shift. Maybe you're just feeling blue temporarily because of the bad light this time of year. Get more light.
ok quit it with the apologetic overtones. You're always engaging and insightful. And like real n stuff. Which is a commodity round these parts. Would totally thumb up but am restricted to phone at mo
Jess you are so hard on yourself. If you have seasona affect disorder, as I do, you may have to go on antidepressantsor up your dose.I think I go through some of the same things as you do with friends. I don't have many friends either but I chose that. I would rather be alone than be with friends that just talk on a surface level. That drives me crazy. I think that is why I am on youtube. I get to have interesting conversations with people I wish I could find in real life.
sorry no advice, and your likely still alone despite me wishing you a house full of really nice friends, and a bevy of perfect feminist leaning men to love. big happy thoughts your way.
Ahh, the reality of the old nine to five is gonna strike me hard too. Good ole productivity
My plan is to keep the ship steady - buy nothing, do nothing, entertain myself, create things endlessly.
I guess thats the major problem with Capitalism - the basic house is so freaking hard to get, but we have such unlimited access to luxury its supposed to make up for it.
Well darnit Capitalism, summa us don't want nail varnish and a fake tan :-P
I like the commune idea. If its happening I'm all in.
Sony vegas 9 is pretty good and you can easily get a download and keygen right from youtube (or buy it)
One thing to help with videos though is to record in avi if at all possable and then save in wmv it cleans up your editing very well.
Now the next trick is very important and that is to find and download Windows Media Video 9 VCM this fixes any tinty sound in your vidoes although your sound is fine
You video buffering is slow though, you know the blur when your fps are low, fix that
I can only make friends on a very shallow level where I'm pretending for the most part. I just can't seem to connect with anyone. And if I feel like I can, they're probably on the other side of the earth.
I think you can have a balance of the two. Feeling good about your external being, which I think is a whole lot more than just looks, whilst growing and deepening as a person. I'm truly ancient (probably more than you think) and still they look. It's internal, a state of mind, not body.
What is unsteady for you? What is it you lack or desire, really? Why do you see yourself as a failure of some kind, when you are so clearly not?
@Loreleila I feel I lack and desire positive affirmation and companionship. I feel like a child, wanting everyone to look at me and applaud and delight in my existence. I don't think it's a conscious motivation; more that it comes from a time before I was able to police my own thoughts. I feel constantly sad that I'm unloved, despite unromantic but no less dedicated examples to the contrary (my mother, my friend of 8 years). I can't feel people's love as satisfying enough.
@BoundlessEyes Others love can't be satisfying enough, because it will constantly need reaffirming, since you don't believe it. In the end you have to find it in the other direction, within. I'm guessing you already know this, but it really is the case. You need your own delight and applause. After that, what others do matters one whole lot less.
@Loreleila Yes... that's why I thought I should try to do some of this list of things to make myself proud of myself. Though I'm not sure pride is the same thing... or if that's still just external validation.
@BoundlessEyes Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with setting goals and fulfilling desires, but in the end you need to be able to love and accept yourself as you are, warts, cycles and all. If you ask yourself what is unlovable about you I doubt you'll find much. Well, I'm sure you'll come up with loads, but not much that actually holds water.
@Loreleila I think I'd find it really hard (and weirdly embarrassing, even in private) to make a list of things to love about myself, but maybe I should. The thing is, I already seem to be so self-obsessed without meaning to be that I'm almost afraid to become any more self interested. But I suppose there's a difference between constant self-scrutiny and positive self-appraisal.
@BoundlessEyes I can relate to the embarrassment. Hopefully it could be a step away from self obsession and one towards self acceptance. In the end you are who you are and while there are things we can all change, develop, learn, create, in the end if we can't accept the basic package we're done for.
@BoundlessEyes do a list of hates then apply them to a horse or a favorite animal if any, but the point is does it make it any less of a horse? will find that your love is far greater then what you know but its the experience we tend to attach ourselves too the most, is why having a things to do list helps, don't have to accomplish all of them just make it an experience so it can be felt which will benefit in the long run
learn to drive focus on that first i think,mostly for the freedom plus can travel anywhere to get hold of a nice pair of drums, you can pass in an automatic if clutching isnt your thing , most cars+vans are automatic as standard these days anyway , sony vegas is really good i had it free with a camera i got but think it retails at 60 quid or something but is very easy to get to grips with
Nobody looks at you when you are 60? Who the fuck says? My mom is 60 and not exactly the "traditional" beauty and still has men find her attractive. Same for my 89 year old grandmother! Why are you all so deluded by ridiculous shit you see in the media?
and sorry if that came off bitchy... but damn!
maybe I should do a video response since I have a few people who have made videos that all go into one that I could do...
@BoundlessEyes Considering my mother has no hair because of her breast cancer treatment, she doesn't really curl her hair... nor did she do any of that before. Attractiveness is about a hell of a lot more than just appearances.
@tattooskin72 In which case your mother is a kind of hero to me. Men don't even find me attractive with my hair aged 23, so beauty really must come from within.
I wasn't trying to talk down your mother, so much as make a fervent wish that I don't give a shit about being found attractive at 50.
Oh you mentioned me. *blush* (runs and hides) yeah it's true, keeping busy with creative stuff is good. I spend a lot of time being obsessed with my looks though. Not in a bad way. More like admiring myself and complimenting myself as much as possible. I am looking forward to being in the menopause and looking totally awesome with big crazy hair and a tie dye dress. I'm not sure about writing lists, I can find that a bit daunting. Take a little step everyday. Indulge yourself. :)
The 9-5 grind (which in my society is usually much worse than 9-5) simply bleeds one's ideals. If creating something or doing something that you feel is meaningful is very important to you, have you considered other options for work?
I know its very difficult to find a career that is in harmony with one's ideals, but have you considered part time work? Could you pay rent and have enough for food if you worked only part-time? This would leave you with more energy to knock off some list items :)
@BoundlessEyes Well, if "Arse end of nowhere in a third world armpit" sounds familiar, then that's where I am. But I suppose it's allowed me to see firsthand the problems that need fixing. Feels guilty living up in the nice buildings away from the smoke and slums, though.
I'm never really sure about how to answer the question of who I am, so I generally just start rambling about whatever's bothering me, so...
@BoundlessEyes That's exactly what I'm talking about with the guilt. And what's worse is that every one of my peers is just busy getting that degree or that job and I'm the only one dissatisfied. Want to do something meaningful, but blah blah blah.
Hint : I'm on the other side of the world with a pseudo-British accent in one of the most racist countries in the world.
@TookiGuy But I'm sure we're different somehow. You're presenting something resembling myself in a fresh new package, if we want to get technical. I'm enjoying myself anew, apparently... or something.
@BoundlessEyes Echo that. It's like looking at a concave mirror, you're seeing a real image of yourself that's out of proportion but is still recognizable and somehow you can approve of this image.
I don't know if there's some kind of deep seated desire in me to hate myself. I just seem incapable of approving of myself, and am generally incredulous when it comes to the approval of other people.
@BoundlessEyes Come on, don't be discouraged. You're putting something out there, something very human. And honestly, for me at least, it means a lot to know that there are other people in similar problems out there.
keep up the vids
soundjournalsandsuch 1 year ago
If we now consider the artificiality of the consumer needs prefabricated and ceaselessly stimulated by modern industry — if we recognize the emptiness of leisure activities and the impossibility of rest — we can pose the question more realistically: What would not be wasted time? Or to put it another way, the development of a society of abundance should lead to an abundance of what?
GUY DEBORD
May 1961
If you like it I'll tell you where I got it!
ButherLi55ett 1 year ago
I like you. Please stay strong.
missd47 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I am listening to you talk! I promise.
therorysnake 1 year ago
lol I care about the third world again now. I'm a bit bipolar when it comes to optimism about humanity.
Ooh, gonna watch new Boundlesseyes vid now =)
MannyFandango 1 year ago
Always flattering when people take the time to reference yours truly, and I thank you for that. If you want a bit of tech advice, check the 'other channels' module on my channel page and you'll see 'noobstomper.' sony vegas is what i use, but i also use a few programs from the adobe creative suite in conjunction. there are a few sony vegas tutorials posted there at the noob. maybe look into it when you get the time. thanks again for the shout out.
keep your head up, you seem pretty rad to me.
BETonthisHORSE 1 year ago
@BETonthisHORSE Thanks man. I DLed Vegas as a trial yesterday and spent the evening playing with it. Having done that I'm even more impressed by the quality of your videos, because there really isn't the kind of flexibility I was expecting.
Cheers, I am 'rad' when it isn't September in Britain. You caught me at a bad time of year... but I know you understand that because I saw your own video on the topic yesterday whilst trawling the back catalogue.
I LOVE Moments of Doubt,btw. Pure class.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BETonthisHORSE And it's bullshit that this is the video of mine you ended up seeing, but oh well.
I occasionally have a witty or original thought of my own, but not in this vid and not in September.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
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StaticVent 1 year ago
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StaticVent 1 year ago
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StaticVent 1 year ago
I love you jess xx
StaticVent 1 year ago
I can generally tell when you will be having a sad video, and it's when the laundry is drying in your kitchen. So, when I see your drying rack, I have to save those videos for when I am in a stable emotion frame of mind. Thanks, for being consistent, though.
MsAneThrope 1 year ago
@MsAneThrope Wierd, really? I never noticed that. Well spotted.
If you like, I can start putting a * at the end of the titles of videos which should come with a trigger warning? (to be honest, you might be better laying off my videos until about March - I can't help the way winter makes me, but I'm happy to demarcate them for you.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
...to someone's life... Have you ever considered teaching English to asylum seekers, or befriending the homeless? I've done these and it's very rewarding because you can see that you are making a difference, however small.
As for working 9-5, I completely agree. It's soul destroying. That's a crucial part of the problem right? People are too busy trying to survive to fight for anything :-(
I'm so sorry you feel alone, I've been (and often still go) there. Thank you for your videos. <3
recklessragdoll 1 year ago
dont give up! i think you are great. honestly. come live with me i the the lakedistrict. i have a two roo cottage and your very welcome..if you can put up with me! im a 36 year old guy.
hobo31009 1 year ago
'I don't have anything about me.'
BULLSHIT! You are such an interesting person. You've obviously inspired a lot of people on here and it doesn't matter than it's 'only youtube' because it's REAL people you're inspiring right?! Your poetry channel is awesome; you should def pursue performance poetry!!!
I don't think volunteering has to be adventurous though, unless you want it to. Main thing is that it makes a difference...
recklessragdoll 1 year ago
Media Student here, use Sony Vegas, or Final Cut.
JamesStrangeStuart 1 year ago
A lot of those goals on your list are immediately attainable. Free video editing software isn't hard to find (look for "open source"). Eight-tracks are getting cheaper all the time. No one gets good at drums without practice. Stuff like that, just carve out some time for yourself and go for it. With no one else around, you're free to do whatever. Don't let your personal routine cripple you.
bheddon 1 year ago
You need to create space for yourself.
Get rid of all these goals of yours. Goals are for well off people with money who have too much time on their hands. Its not for people who are dependant on cigerettes and weed. Its for energetic people.
You need to just chill out and avoid anything that requires too much effort and hard work
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 im all for smoking but,surely smoking is more effort & hardwork :P each time you drag it damages your lung,the body is then working overtime to repair it and does ,but then the next day same thing leading to scars and scars ontop of scars until your coughing this is when you should give up as theres to many the body cant heal them in time,also neglects the rest of your body is what accelerates ageing so isnt it better to have goals which moderates smoking there for wont waste away :)
exdribbler 1 year ago
@exdribbler I personally dont smoke or drink. I am just thinking Boundless is kind of dependant on weed. The problem is, if your dependant on these substance, then if you run out of this weed stuff then your going to feel depressed and you will need to get hold of some weed to make yourself feel good again.
The only solution is, you need to get off it completely then you can concentrate on your goals.
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 i did weed upto about 19,stopped because i eventually perfered doing other things 'grew out of it' but doing both is what weighed it up for me ,use to smoke it with tobacco so obviously still smoked but gave up for 4 years infavour of motorcycling, if i brought cigarettes no cruising with workmates at the weekend due to fuel costs although i started again after the place shutdown and lost touch with everyone but addiction is really enjoyment until its replaced cant just stop really
exdribbler 1 year ago
@exdribbler the problem is, if you are under a lot of pressure than your going to keep taking this stuff and not going to stop.
Thats why you need to slow down and stop working all the time. Then you can be in a position to come off it.
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 true although there needs to be somekind of routine that links to the outside world with doors else will dominate especially if smoking is the only enjoyment that gets you threw the day, will tend to guard it with your life alcohol is the real depressant which is why i advise moderating rather then stopping cos just stopping will make you really hungry and more determined so will end up consuming triple more then before making it worser heh
exdribbler 1 year ago
@exdribbler your probably right mate. You know more than me. What do I know. I never had alcohol or smoked weed.
I suppose everyone is different. I enjoy just sitting around doing nothing, watching TV. I could spend hours and hours doing jack shit. For others they will find my way of life really boring.
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 yeah your in the right place , deep down we miss that pleasure of doing jackshit and being content without the aid of drugs but our dopamine levels are screwed even when giving up its not the same anymore , like being excited over 1 pound pocket money , after earning thousands can never be the same again can it.
exdribbler 1 year ago
@exdribbler I am no way in a right place. I lack any ambition or drive. But I am addicted to gambling. I love gambling on horse racing. Lost thousands of pounds on backing horses and internet casinos.
I suppose we all have our addiction
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 I SO dig this comment! I can spend hours doing stuff when others would say "DUDE! Get a life!" But I just can't do what most people do for fun! I can get addicted to pc games like ... *snaps fingers* that. I'll keep hammering my pleasure centre into oblivion each night. I suppose my pc is to me as marijuana is to my wife. We know our lifestyle is unhealthy. But to want to change, you need a fucking good reason.. or possess a masochistic level of self-discipline.
Silkspine 1 year ago
@Silkspine oh and I almost forgot lol .. nice to see you Jess ;) hang in there matey, keep the gloves up, keep on punching. Whatever else you may or may not be, you at least have the balls to speak your mind, say it like it is.
Silkspine 1 year ago
@Silkspine addiction is not good for us. PC games addiction aint that bad. Gambling is very bad cause you end up losing money. Its not a good feeling when you lose.
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 Nah it ain't a good thing. Yeah that's a fair point about gambling. I hope you can get some help for it soon mate before too much harm is done - we have a gambling addiction phoneline we can call here in Australia, it is advertised on TV sometimes. My addiction is simlar to gambling in that I'm fishing for that sweet spot feeling when everything goes right. I really like exdribbler's 1 pound pocket money analogy - that is exactly how it is for me. Take care.
Silkspine 1 year ago
@Silkspine I have had some help with my gambling addiction, they have this psychological therapy centre round where I live. I have cut down now. Much more sensible now. I still gamble, but with small stakes.
Did you get any help with your addiction mate
Nuron666 1 year ago
@Nuron666 No. I know my lifestyle is not ideal, I feel it sometimes. Sometimes Im crying out for more human fellowship. But is it enough to change? My wife and I have coevolved... she's an alco, I'm a pc addict. It's like the book where a boy makes a face... and the wind changes... and his face gets stuck. I suppose I've had to manage the addiction so I can keep my job, make time for wife, family etc, but get rid of it.. uh uh. it's been really good talking about it with a real person.
Silkspine 1 year ago
@Silkspine I'm really glad you got some help. Sounds like you're doing well! If you can manage the gambling and keep on top of it, that's terrific. It may always be a weakness, but if you can plan for it (only make a certain amount of money avail etc) I see that as no worse than what my wife does sometimes - she'll tell me to hide the bottle of bourbon after she has measured out a certain amount. Me rationing my time on pc... similar deal, easier when I have plans I can't break.
Silkspine 1 year ago
@Silkspine You have recognised the problem and your dealing with it. I think you will be ok mate.
Nuron666 1 year ago
*hugs*
I'm in the same boat. Don't kill yourself, don't hurt yourself. Stick to the goals.
BENY0HAMA 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I love listening to your crap. Really do. One day it would be cool to talk to you to see if you'd laugh a bit. Sort of ricochet from down to up & so on. I guess really I just hope to see you fall in love on here so things would be quite lighter. It will happen soon enough, i'm sure. Patience virtue yadda. Sigh.
Keep doing what your doing. Many eyes are on your candid self.
dospook 1 year ago
I love listening to your crap. Really do. One day it would be cool to talk to you to see if you'd laugh a bit. Sort of ricochet from down to up & so on. I guess really I just hope to see you fall in love on here so things would be quite lighter. It will happen soon enough, i'm sure. Patience virtue yadda. Sigh.
Keep doing what your doing. Many eyes are on your candid self.
dospook 1 year ago
Listening.
;-)
antaresrichard 1 year ago
Don't bite off more than you can chew! I learned that the hard (and very expensive) way.
matman125 1 year ago
Hola, beautiful you have connected with me on a deep level, and despite the ocean separating us I want to communicate with you. Let's start a shameless e relationship and make private videos back and forth! And you can make friends and have hobbies by getting out and joining book groups or music clubs, you have to make yourself do it! I KNOW it is hard to do, I had the same problem, but by making yourself go out even if your tired is the only way to get out. I think this will help the SAD
moonknightify 1 year ago
@moonknightify I meant every word I said in my video about you, lets talk via PM or private video I know you can do it JESS, I BELIEVE IN YOU! I LOVE YOU ! your buddy, Moon
moonknightify 1 year ago
Depression isn't anything to apologize about. You know that already, right? Especially when there are so many abusers and oppressors out there in the world. There's such a huge difference between you eating your breakfast and people with actual power approving economic policy they know will cause widespread hunger. Or you flushing your toilet and someone damming a river to water a golfcourse. We all need to stop identifying with our enemies.
AntiLoquaxx 1 year ago
Well, nobody would have known it was your family name...until you told!
I like to think of myself as a healer...last week I told a guy on YT that he's a bullshit artist, and healed him..
Maybe it's the weather..the season's changing..and here in Canada I can feel my energy going with the shift. Maybe you're just feeling blue temporarily because of the bad light this time of year. Get more light.
I use Adobe After Effects...
xy11xy 1 year ago
i've been subscribed for ages. i always watch your videos to the end and i will continue to.
BornUnderABadSign89 1 year ago
ok quit it with the apologetic overtones. You're always engaging and insightful. And like real n stuff. Which is a commodity round these parts. Would totally thumb up but am restricted to phone at mo
oojamaflipper 1 year ago
Jess you are so hard on yourself. If you have seasona affect disorder, as I do, you may have to go on antidepressantsor up your dose.I think I go through some of the same things as you do with friends. I don't have many friends either but I chose that. I would rather be alone than be with friends that just talk on a surface level. That drives me crazy. I think that is why I am on youtube. I get to have interesting conversations with people I wish I could find in real life.
Nanee715 1 year ago
You might be interested in 43 things. It would help to achieve goals if you developed specific measures of success and plans for how to get there.
Hang in there. Things will feel better over time. They'll still be shit, but you get stronger.
Maxdwolf 1 year ago
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MannyFandango 1 year ago
@MannyFandango I know man. What's a prole to do?
You find a way out you let me know.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
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MannyFandango 1 year ago
sorry no advice, and your likely still alone despite me wishing you a house full of really nice friends, and a bevy of perfect feminist leaning men to love. big happy thoughts your way.
forkqall 1 year ago
@forkqall Lol, yup. But it's all good. The yearly routine.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
Ahh, the reality of the old nine to five is gonna strike me hard too. Good ole productivity
My plan is to keep the ship steady - buy nothing, do nothing, entertain myself, create things endlessly.
I guess thats the major problem with Capitalism - the basic house is so freaking hard to get, but we have such unlimited access to luxury its supposed to make up for it.
Well darnit Capitalism, summa us don't want nail varnish and a fake tan :-P
I like the commune idea. If its happening I'm all in.
MannyFandango 1 year ago
@MannyFandango *secret-salutes*
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
Remember you make a difference, even when you dont know that you do.
Heres to the wind on you back and the sun in your face and all that.
CharlieSays73 1 year ago
Sony vegas 9 is pretty good and you can easily get a download and keygen right from youtube (or buy it)
One thing to help with videos though is to record in avi if at all possable and then save in wmv it cleans up your editing very well.
Now the next trick is very important and that is to find and download Windows Media Video 9 VCM this fixes any tinty sound in your vidoes although your sound is fine
You video buffering is slow though, you know the blur when your fps are low, fix that
Curas1 1 year ago
I have said it before and I will say it again, you look gorgeous and I find you very attractive not just your appearance but also your mind...
Though I'm in Wales i'd love to be one of your mates :D
cool list of goals :D I share a few of them XD
If ya need to talk i'm usually online (I have no social life)
<3333
Chaoticentertainment 1 year ago
@Chaoticentertainment I love the way all of us asocialites gather and end up in the same place LOL
Yet none of us seem particularly fecked up on the internet. Whats really stopping any of us from getting a social life? we is cooooooooooool! =)
And often quite genuine =) X 2
MannyFandango 1 year ago
@MannyFandango And therein lies the problem, my friends.
You gotta fake it to make it.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes well in the words of many of my countrymen... feck that
I've been me since day one and i'll be dead and on fire before I try to be something i'm not (difficult to do when on fire)
Chaoticentertainment 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Wow, ditto.
I can only make friends on a very shallow level where I'm pretending for the most part. I just can't seem to connect with anyone. And if I feel like I can, they're probably on the other side of the earth.
God, that sucks so much.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
I think you can have a balance of the two. Feeling good about your external being, which I think is a whole lot more than just looks, whilst growing and deepening as a person. I'm truly ancient (probably more than you think) and still they look. It's internal, a state of mind, not body.
What is unsteady for you? What is it you lack or desire, really? Why do you see yourself as a failure of some kind, when you are so clearly not?
And for me get as dark as you wish.
Loreleila 1 year ago
@Loreleila I feel I lack and desire positive affirmation and companionship. I feel like a child, wanting everyone to look at me and applaud and delight in my existence. I don't think it's a conscious motivation; more that it comes from a time before I was able to police my own thoughts. I feel constantly sad that I'm unloved, despite unromantic but no less dedicated examples to the contrary (my mother, my friend of 8 years). I can't feel people's love as satisfying enough.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Others love can't be satisfying enough, because it will constantly need reaffirming, since you don't believe it. In the end you have to find it in the other direction, within. I'm guessing you already know this, but it really is the case. You need your own delight and applause. After that, what others do matters one whole lot less.
Loreleila 1 year ago
@Loreleila Yes... that's why I thought I should try to do some of this list of things to make myself proud of myself. Though I'm not sure pride is the same thing... or if that's still just external validation.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with setting goals and fulfilling desires, but in the end you need to be able to love and accept yourself as you are, warts, cycles and all. If you ask yourself what is unlovable about you I doubt you'll find much. Well, I'm sure you'll come up with loads, but not much that actually holds water.
Loreleila 1 year ago
@Loreleila I think I'd find it really hard (and weirdly embarrassing, even in private) to make a list of things to love about myself, but maybe I should. The thing is, I already seem to be so self-obsessed without meaning to be that I'm almost afraid to become any more self interested. But I suppose there's a difference between constant self-scrutiny and positive self-appraisal.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes I can relate to the embarrassment. Hopefully it could be a step away from self obsession and one towards self acceptance. In the end you are who you are and while there are things we can all change, develop, learn, create, in the end if we can't accept the basic package we're done for.
Loreleila 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes do a list of hates then apply them to a horse or a favorite animal if any, but the point is does it make it any less of a horse? will find that your love is far greater then what you know but its the experience we tend to attach ourselves too the most, is why having a things to do list helps, don't have to accomplish all of them just make it an experience so it can be felt which will benefit in the long run
exdribbler 1 year ago
I like your videos! I need to find a good software for vids too!
BTW, I have noticed a lot of people with the droopy eyelid syndrome!
A PM follows my dear
XXXX
You Gay Irish FRIEND in Holland!
seustaceRotterdam 1 year ago
Hey if u like making videos, make videos, hobbies are good. Love youself
jon2xu 1 year ago
learn to drive focus on that first i think,mostly for the freedom plus can travel anywhere to get hold of a nice pair of drums, you can pass in an automatic if clutching isnt your thing , most cars+vans are automatic as standard these days anyway , sony vegas is really good i had it free with a camera i got but think it retails at 60 quid or something but is very easy to get to grips with
exdribbler 1 year ago
@exdribbler You're like the font of all knowledge or something! Thanks =)
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
Nobody looks at you when you are 60? Who the fuck says? My mom is 60 and not exactly the "traditional" beauty and still has men find her attractive. Same for my 89 year old grandmother! Why are you all so deluded by ridiculous shit you see in the media?
and sorry if that came off bitchy... but damn!
maybe I should do a video response since I have a few people who have made videos that all go into one that I could do...
and yeah, I'm sorry for being so bitchy.
tattooskin72 1 year ago
@tattooskin72 When I'm 60 I hope to have better things to do with my time than curl my hair, frankly. Again, not meaning to be bitchy just honest.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Considering my mother has no hair because of her breast cancer treatment, she doesn't really curl her hair... nor did she do any of that before. Attractiveness is about a hell of a lot more than just appearances.
tattooskin72 1 year ago
@tattooskin72 In which case your mother is a kind of hero to me. Men don't even find me attractive with my hair aged 23, so beauty really must come from within.
I wasn't trying to talk down your mother, so much as make a fervent wish that I don't give a shit about being found attractive at 50.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
Oh you mentioned me. *blush* (runs and hides) yeah it's true, keeping busy with creative stuff is good. I spend a lot of time being obsessed with my looks though. Not in a bad way. More like admiring myself and complimenting myself as much as possible. I am looking forward to being in the menopause and looking totally awesome with big crazy hair and a tie dye dress. I'm not sure about writing lists, I can find that a bit daunting. Take a little step everyday. Indulge yourself. :)
artisannika 1 year ago
Ha I can definitely see you in your kaftan in the queue at Sainsbury's talking about spirituality with the check out person =)
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes yeah and I'm pretty sure I'll be bat shit mad by then :D ooh when I'm proper old I'll dye my hair purple and scare children.
artisannika 1 year ago
The 9-5 grind (which in my society is usually much worse than 9-5) simply bleeds one's ideals. If creating something or doing something that you feel is meaningful is very important to you, have you considered other options for work?
I know its very difficult to find a career that is in harmony with one's ideals, but have you considered part time work? Could you pay rent and have enough for food if you worked only part-time? This would leave you with more energy to knock off some list items :)
baller1069 1 year ago
@baller1069 Which is your society?
Yes, this is a much more survivable option. Part-time work... and the right kind of work, would be manageable. Thank you.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
If you want info on films, look no further. :P
I have been feeling low recently as well, especially seeing as it's getting colder and the nights are drawing in. :(
StanMarsh1 1 year ago
@StanMarsh1 Sorry to hear it loveliness. *hugs*
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
i know what you mean
theracemixer 1 year ago
Totally empathise, though I think by now that's taken for granted.
The internet can only help so much with loneliness, but I'll take what I get.
Hope things get better soon.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy Thank you for commenting. There's nothing worse than putting a video out and getting a wall of silence back.
I'm glad to have whatever fragile connection of communication we have, at least.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Talking always helps, be it through the internet with 500 characters or videos.
I'm sorry, I just suck so much at trying to make people feel less alone...
You can always talk, though. Hell, I think even a simple "Hi" can help.
So... hey, how's it going?
Same here.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy I just noticed that your interests are pretty much my interests. Very cool (and almost psychic) selection of authors.
Where are you?
Really what I want to ask is 'who are you?' but 490 characters doesn't give you much room for expression.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Well, if "Arse end of nowhere in a third world armpit" sounds familiar, then that's where I am. But I suppose it's allowed me to see firsthand the problems that need fixing. Feels guilty living up in the nice buildings away from the smoke and slums, though.
I'm never really sure about how to answer the question of who I am, so I generally just start rambling about whatever's bothering me, so...
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy See? Those are people with real problems. I'm just a middle class chick with an attitude problem.
My guess would be South America... Puerto Rico?
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes That's exactly what I'm talking about with the guilt. And what's worse is that every one of my peers is just busy getting that degree or that job and I'm the only one dissatisfied. Want to do something meaningful, but blah blah blah.
Hint : I'm on the other side of the world with a pseudo-British accent in one of the most racist countries in the world.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy In other words, I'm feeling bad about feeling bad.
Nice mind I've got.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy I like your mind. =)
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Well, looks like you have a similar one.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy True. I suppose I like my mind, then.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Looks like you'll dislike it if it's yours.
God, I'm embarassing myself.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
@TookiGuy But I'm sure we're different somehow. You're presenting something resembling myself in a fresh new package, if we want to get technical. I'm enjoying myself anew, apparently... or something.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Echo that. It's like looking at a concave mirror, you're seeing a real image of yourself that's out of proportion but is still recognizable and somehow you can approve of this image.
I don't know if there's some kind of deep seated desire in me to hate myself. I just seem incapable of approving of myself, and am generally incredulous when it comes to the approval of other people.
Nice to put my thoughts about myself in order.
TookiGuy 1 year ago
No comment, eh? Says it all.
BoundlessEyes 1 year ago
@BoundlessEyes Come on, don't be discouraged. You're putting something out there, something very human. And honestly, for me at least, it means a lot to know that there are other people in similar problems out there.
It's always nice to communicate.
TookiGuy 1 year ago