Added: 4 years ago
From: DougStanhopedotcom
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  • I've had "We Didn't Start The Fire" stuck in my head since I was 14.

    I am now 23.

  • He is fucking hilarious.

  • One of my favorite doug stanhope bits. I love this shit.

  • AD'S ON THE DOUG STANHOPE YOUTUBE CHANNEL???

    MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Comment removed

  • This inspired me to put my mind to sleep and ease the pain of a wisdom tooth ripping through my gums with some of my parents' merlot( no fresh beer laying around)

  • this is how i felt an hour ago...now im wide awake....

  • wow I thought it was just me

  • FIVE stars!!!

  • We didn't start the fire!

  • The web ads suck. I am not interested. Here, watch this shitty ad so you can watch what you really want. The greed is immeasurable. Maybe Google and Youtube could be nationalized and made into a free utility. No ads. I would gladly give my money to avoid the god forsaken ads. Cable sucks too.

    Doug is the reincarnation of George Carlin. Very funny but lot's of gutter thinking. That was George's stick and now he is gone. Good luck Doug. Very funny.

  • omg i thought i was the only person who had a "carnival" when they tried to sleep, i thought i was maybe a little fucked. this puts me at ease

  • @CORNP00 agreed

  • @CORNP00 i know what you mean, i'm not saying I'M a genius but this is likely the reason that there is a fine line between genius and insanity, the more you think about stuff the more maddening it is, and when you CAN'T stop thinking... sheesh.

  • Fucken shit he is instantly my new favorite comic.

  • @PBK0909 Yea, it's hugely annoying, I hate their ads too. They're always stupid, especially the talking ones.

    It doesn't always work all of the time though.

  • fuck ads

  • Comment removed

  • thanks doug

  • hahaha. i know exactly what he means. when im sober i only sleep every other night

  • flawless delivery

  • Am I the only one seeing these fucking ads at the beginning? Why isn't anyone complaining?

  • @p0llenp0ny

    Why would I complain? Youtube is free.

  • @Yesman812 I just feel like I'm being held captive and forced to watch something before I'm allowed to see what I wanted. This is mostly the reason I sold my TV.

    Don't they make enough from Flash / banner ads? The TV style of advertising kind of destroys the appeal of youtube. Just my opinion.

  • @p0llenp0ny I would give you a hundred thumbs up if I could.

  • @p0llenp0ny Keep going back and clicking on the video until it doesn't. I refuse to watch them personally. As if seeing your stupid products advertised on youtube will make me buy them..

  • @Sshelly34213 turn...the...dvd...off...

  • Thanks for telling people how so many of us feel!!

  • story of my life

  • The only way I can stop the carnival is to read myself to sleep & that isn't guaranteed. Funny thing is my wife is ALWAYS more tired than me even if i've been sat up all night listening to her snoar.

  • He looks a tiny little bit like Butthead.

  • Man, I fuckin' hate the carnival. Sometimes it keeps me up for hours.

  • doug is definitely carrying on bills torch

  • @friendobrians yeah, but he is his own person.. I mean if you did something for 20 years and finally got recognition and the first thing out of my mouth was "Hey, you know that quantum physics guy who figured out how to use freed energy from quarks and his work will eventually save our species from extinction.. yeah he's just like a modern day Einstein." you'd be pissed would you not?

  • I fucking HATE the ad's before the videos. Who invited those twisted corporate cunts into my parent's basement? Hey, GEICO, I got fuck all valuable to insure!! Your faggot, duck-fisting buddies at BAnk of America finally squeezed the last drop of wealth out of my existance. Now all I can afford to do for entertainment is watch shit on youtube, you morbidly greedy cunts!!

  • @zendevil Right when you see a 15 second ad, refresh the page with f5

  • @Zantaer I feel better now.

  • @zendevil the dvd is $15

  • @zendevil >parent's basement

  • it is impossible, as soon as you close your eyes it all begins, millions of thoughts, it never ends, if you take something to sleep you'll just wake later in the night wide awake even more fucked up. there is no cure, insomnia, you're never really alseep and never really awake (fight club) so true.

  • @crownncokable Try meditation, it actually is really effective, I'm speaking from experience too.

  • I hate the nightly carrneval UGH!!!!

  • Stanhope is like the What-if Machine episode of Futurama where Bender becomes human.

  • @vidclown Without the morbid obesity

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is the perfect description of what Stanhope is like!

  • Story of my life.

  • it's always billy joel

  • smokin some weed b4 bed lets me enjoy that carnival n sleep like a baby

  • i feel your pain, doug. I that it was only me

  • da-da-da da-da-da

  • so hilarious

  • you should maybe try the internet?

  • where can I go about getting one of those kick ass libertarian jerseys??// i want one but cant find it anywhere...

  • Lol, can relate to this

  • lol botanical garden

  • "We didn't start the fire."

    Stanhope = genius.

    He is brave enough to say what others think.

  • Yeah,the bloke got balls to be that brutally honest!

  • this is why i got a weed prescription, now i just puff on a bowl of kush before bed BOOM zZzzZzZzZz night all!

  • but what about when you're awake and you want to have a giggle at the shape of your toes?

  • @Poonard Exactly! What about that!?

  • i got the same problem right now

  • haha you're funny

  • lol i know what he meens

  • insomnia love...

  • Same one I have, it's called "livinginthesameworldaspeoplel­ikeyou disorder". I have to take a douchebagtolerance re-uptake inhibitor (KILLITOL*TM*) just to get through a day without the almost irresistible desire to nut punch you with a bag of 8-balls.

  • Masturbation was invented by people who KNEW there was a better way to put your mind at ease than meditation.

  • @HarlotBug3 Invented? Masturbation happened when the Caveman rolled over on a rock with a hole in it.

  • @blummedia during puberty, so a caveboy, just sayin' ;P

  • @HarlotBug3 i always thought that was just me.

  • i shot a dog last week!

  • can't relate..I sleep like a baby,anytime anywhere.

  • I could related to the fact that you can't relate but who gives a rat's...., right?

    =)

  • Stanhope as usual nails it. Man.

  • well ur the same type of stupid fuck he talks shit about

  • well first y dont u like him???

  • Go fuck yourself. Stanhope's a genius. You are not.

  • SO SO TRUE!

  • I have the same problem, a mind that never sh*t ups, sleep is a extreme luxury i can tell u that.

    Even alcohol and weed won't always help, at least i can watch a video without having to rewind 20 times because i got distracted by some random thinking.

    They say its ADD, and offer me some dangerous chemicals that suppose to make me a productive robot that world demands me to be.

    Doug rules, people need more liberal thinkers.

  • lol, so true

  • Carlin, Hicks, Stanhope !! I do like these comedians, but i crack myself laughing with Noam Chomsky !! Taht guy is fucking crazy !!!!

  • that noam chomsky is nuts!!

  • noam chomsky - "9/11-even if it`s true-who cares"

    obviously, not you noam. you scum !!

  • Met Doug in Toronto just last weekend, the guy is straight up, honest and a good guy to talk to. Stage personality and his real persona are one the same.

  • I call it the Peanut Gallery. Sometimes there's even a lightshow.

  • Love Hicks and Carlin and Stanhope. Now I know I'm not alone... They tell the truth.

  • Nah yo, you're not alone, we're out there. We're just hard to spot. Because unlike every other school of thought on this planet, we lack the bumper stickers to properly identify each other. Hicks, Carlin, and Stanhope don't have any special knowledge of the universe. Just an overload of common sense. It's our curse.

  • Amen to that. I bet people say you think too much as well.

  • you know, i have troubles sleeping sober too. I'm 18 and I've been having this problem since i was 10 or something... But then I discovered alcohol and weed :d But you know what's interesting? Most people i know are idiots and don't have these sleeping/thinking problems, only the smart ones do. And when i read these comments it's like you all have the same problem. This just proofs; Doug Stanhope is a very smart guy with a very smart fanbase.

  • Its 6 am and I've just spent 4 hours trying to get to sleep with the 'carnival'. Ironically most of it was trying to think which shitty song Stanhope songs in this bit :/

  • Is he a comedian or does he just know everything about life? I don't know. I don't even watch his videos for humour I just love all the truth packed in his speeches.

    This is so true, as soon as I lay down to sleep I can't stop thinking about things. It's so annoying.

  • im 40 and im speechless..........

  • I have never been able to relate more to someone before, this isn't comedy it's therapy.

  • I agree so much, there is so much truth jammed into his words that I barely even NOTICE the humour.

    He is like some incredible hybrid of George Carlin and Bill Hicks, he's a fucking genius.

  • best comedian after......closely followed by the rest only cause of his insight

  • lol. i go to the carnival at least twice a week. xD

  • Shoulda taken shrooms and THEN taken that bitch wife of his to the botanical gardens. Put some in her beef stew, too.

  • count me in

  • "I could have told you that your beliefs are a clinical psychotic reaction and the only heaven that awaits you is the inside of a casket, in which your lifeless carcass will be devoured by bacteria and other small life forms until every inch of what you once called your self is nothing but fertilizer in an overpriced box"

    I'll take that alternative any day over being in packed, "utopia," with people like you, while, "I can only imagine," is blaring over the loud speakers....

    Count me out.

  • amen sister

  • peace bro......we gotta burn he is the shit

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  • EF2000,

    You are speaking to the wrong crowd here man....If you think Stanhope is rough, imagine how those of us who get humor out of his routine think!

  • But I really like talking to "the bad boys" you guys are alot closer to the gates of heaven that the "good guys" that think they are so good in God's eyes! At least you guys are not luke warm!

    And Christ is a Freind of sinners!

  • Y'know, if you had typed "Christ is a Freud of sinners!", it would had been so funny.

  • Lol, this guy is now my favorite comedian.

  • This guy is a sore losser! he needs to repent!

    Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the father! As if there is no God look around you! Open you eyes.

  • Okay I looked around me, still don't think there is a god, what exactly was I supposed to see?

  • Shut up.

  • Okay I looked at the stars and the moon, and the stars appear to be randomly scattered around as if they resulted from an explosion and the moon looks like it was formed the same way all planets and moons are, by gravity and drifting particles of debris. I wont tell you that there is no possible way a god put that there but a god doesn't seem necessary to explain it, instead a much simpler and falsifiable explanation does just fine. BTW I was created by my parents.

  • Cmpare our planet with the others in the solar system. I would say it is a jewel created by God sown hand!

    Look carefully adn long and you may see the Light! May the Spirit of God show you an guide you!

  • Yeah I kinda used to think that, but actually when you consider how long the Earth has been around, it had a lot of time to germinate life.

    Don't get me wrong, Existence, Stars and Planets, Life and above all Intelligent self aware life is extraordinary. But just because it's all so amazing doesn't mean "god did it". As it turns out the explanations are complex and counter intuitive, and nobody knows how it all came to be yet. But we have a good idea, and there is no evidence it was any god.

  • Where did the explosion come from? The correct answer is: I don't know. All we know is that it occurred based on the evidence we observed. But what does that have to do with the existence of god? Where did god come from? He always existed? Okay then the 11th dimension membranes that collided to spark the big bang always existed to.

    Yes explosions are chaotic, but it's what happens after the explosions, with gravity, matter and time that create what we see as "order".

  • Most of us got here by our parents having sex, which by the way was God's idea and created by God,only for husband and wife to enjoy. But we dont wanna get off topic and this discussion is rated G ;-)

  • Most of us? More like all of us. Go ahead and say it was god's idea but why do you need god to explain something that occurs by itself in nature?

  • Dude, you're posting on every single Doug Stanhope video. I can understand your inspiration to do so, but you need to rethink your strategy. What do you think would happen if a single proud and arrogant atheist walked into the vatican and began preaching his beliefs? They'd get about as far as you are now... Except the clergy in its infinite justified wisdom would kill the atheist.

  • I know.... Remember Christ came to seek and save the lost. Not the moral, right and good people. Like the tax collectors and sinners he ate with, Christ seeks and saves the lost!

    I am a matchmaker for the Lord! He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrightousness!

    Peace and grace to you!

  • No matter how bad and evil we are or become, Jesus Christ knocks at the door...if anyone hears and opens the door, He will join you and will share with you.

    Are you heavy burdened sinner? Yoke with Jesus Christ and you load will be easy!

    You shall run and not grow weary, you shall walk and not faint!!

    Grace to you!

  • Yeah, grace to you and such as well. But fuck off.

  • Hey be nice!

  • I am being nice. I could have told you that your beliefs are a clinical psychotic reaction and the only heaven that awaits you is the inside of a casket, in which your lifeless carcass will be devoured by bacteria and other small life forms until every inch of what you once called your self is nothing but fertilizer in an overpriced box. But I didn't.

  • OMG what irony im up at 2 in the morning because im sober this is fuckin gay its IMPOSSIBLE to sleep sober

  • the answer is MEDITATION. focus only on your breathing and your head will clear.

  • indeed the carnival is one w/ me too!

  • awesome

  • I too experience the Carnival.

  • I love this bit. My brother and i watched this a couple of months ago and even now, when one of us says we couldnt sleep the other one says,"Did you go to the carnival?" soooo funny

  • I really, REALLY hate that fucking carnival. "BA-BAP BADARADA BAP DAH DAH DAH, BA-BAP BADARADA BAP DAH DAH DAH"

  • E-XCELLENT work on the phonetics!

    *copies & pastes*

  • hahahhaha very veruy funny and very true!

  • Stanhope and Hicks are both funny....if Bill had lived im pretty confident his comedy would have evovled too but for the time period that he performed in he was pretty damn good in my opinion

  • Not for nothing, but Hicks' comedy was more evolved than Stanhope's is now, although I dig Stanhope a lot.

  • Yeah I think both are really wonderful in your face type of comedians who really think for themselves and making you do so as well. I think Bill Hicks and George Carlin are a little faster. There's more tempo in their shows. Bill Hicks was the most charismatic I think. He also had that poetry thing working for him, had a way with words. But Stanhope might be slower, he's still saying all th right things to make me laugh and think at the same time which I really like!

  • Although their styles do cross over, their "goals" are not really the same. It's obvious Stanhope is following in the footsteps of Bill's work, but he's doing his own thing. And not that it matters but I say that as someone who has a Bill Hicks poster prominently displayed in my livingroom and at the same time consider Stanhope my favorite current living standup comedian.

  • i have that problem also =/ thats why i drink =D and too take the edge off when my gf wont stop bitching.

  • He's so right. Damn carnival.

  • This dude makes me laugh hard enough to cry

  • Win.

  • I've tried it..sometimes...

  • Does anyone know where I can get one of those libertarian shirts like Doug is wearing?

  • So you watched a video that you found unfunny and took the extra time to comment on it and let everyone know you disapprove. You've got way too much time on your hands. Do something useful. Go suck a dick or something.

  • It took me literally like 3 seconds to write that comment. It hardly took up much of my time. And the reason I commented in the first place is because thats what comment threads are for. To express your opinion. Get over yourself.

  • Yeah but ,JacobTru

    if you found that so unfunny that you sat down

    and decided to let everyone know what a sad fuck you are

    why then you deserve yourself..

  • that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Please get back to me when you can type an answer which isn't fucking retarded.

  • Doug is great, of course he is, but of course he's not Bill Hicks. He's funny and he says stuff that's both funny and true, but nothing of the gravity of Bill, come on.

  • Cause stanhope is down to earth.  A lot of hicks material isnt even funny tbh

  • No, he said he did a bump at the show though, otherwise he'd be out. I don't coke anyway. He actually did pass out a few times on the way to the airport.

  • your almost 40 years old you fuckin loser!

  • haha so fuckin true 1am 2am then the carnival kicks in hahaha

  • so fuckin true 1am 2am then the carnival kicks in

  • shmorange fucking kills me.

  • we didn't start the fire!! LOL!!!

  • Nobody is Bill Hicks though.

  • This dude is real good, but i have to agreed with you, Bill will always shadow those ahead

  • I hung out with Doug after a show, so down-to-earth, he's a real person, now bullshit, no show, the originality makes him so great.

  • Gotta agree. I've got all of his CDs and about to have all of his DVDs, and have found some interviews on projectplaylist dot com, and I just love how original and his voice and love the delivery and such. But also how down to Earth he is. I've so I love him now much more over Bill Hicks, although I love Hicks as well ...

  • did you do coke with him?

  • F U CK IN G AMAZING

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