Wow I can't believe i found this video. For about 5 years I've been seeking out what is wrong with me. I never know WHO to be, I always find myself going into phases for months I'll be one person, then for months, i'll be someone else (meaning I take on their personas).... WHY? Do I not have my OWN identity??? Was it beaten out of me when i was a kid??
I also always felt i never knew how to fill out an online profile's "about me" section. I always felt BLANK is the best description!
is most like our emotions change so much that at some point we loose track of our mind so we are basically how we feel like at the moment so how can we know who we are if we are so many different ppl
Its called mindfulness. when you are all mixed up stop for a sec and pay sttention to your emotions and allow them to be as they arem just be aware of what is happening so you can later on try to see how better you can cope when this happens to you again
Sorry for posting so much, crackwalker, but I wanted to point out, as empty as your sense of self is (and I'm not denying that at all) you do seem to have SOME sense of self. You said you let people make all the decisions even if you "don't particularly like" their idea. See, you have tastes! That is a part of you and who you are. You said if you speak up you lose your self confidence. It seems you know at least some small things about yourself, but are insecure & unsure in showing them.
I'm not sure if I'd say this can't exist on a continuum. Most of the time I hear people refer to bpd identity disturbance as having no identity or taking on identities of others they're with as crackwalker does. BUT I've heard some people say it's like they have two diff. sides in them (or more) who're trying to gain control (BUT NOT like MPD). We all have diff. parts of ourself, but this is stronger with bpd or more compartmentalized by the mind or something. I think it's called fragmentation.
To be clear- I'm no bpd expert so what I posted before, might be incorrect. I don't want to misinform anyone. That info. was mainly from what I've read from either psych. progessionals OR people who ALLEGEDLY have BPD. I also wanted to add with the "diff sides" thing, some just refer to good and bad side (all people have), but I think maybe they get compartmentalized due to "splitting". I suppose it can count as unstable self image if you flip between seeing a good person and a horrible one.
the part when you spoke about being with two people who are very different at the same time and not knowing who to be and how to act anymore... I can so relate to it.
in such a situation, im so torn and confused i usually end up doing and saying pretty much... nothing.
This is exactly like me. I wait for the other person to chose off the menu so I can choose what they want. I try do say as you do,m act as you, do as you do. I try to be who you want me to
I really must ask my psychiatrist about these symptoms I can relate to. The mirrors and restuarant issues I have always had. I don't feel prefences...It's like I don't have a sense of who I am and therefore can't make
decisions. I'm glad I have a doc I can talk to. Thanks for #3!
The concept of identity is fascinating to me. The idea that normal people know who they are and never feel the need to question it. What it must be like to look in the mirror and truly see yourself and not confusion or emptiness - a void. To know thyself is the crux of what it is to be human. Very interesting...
Just had yet another strange phone call from a guy I know who has that BPD tag- had to finally bannish him from visiting- he asks the most personal and strange questions over and over- he is fairly bright and is a dead ribger for Jerry Seinfeld, yet chooses to be the village idiot and drive everyone nuts- yes, he is a "psychic vampire" as you alluded to
He still calls and asks me strange questions over and over- most recent is'richy, ah you smart....when they amputate what do they do with the body parts" have told him 9 times they probably incinerate, yet he keeps calling, another one" hey richy, your a genius...does someone come and take the coins from phone booths"-good to hear from you crack-hope your well?
Wow I can't believe i found this video. For about 5 years I've been seeking out what is wrong with me. I never know WHO to be, I always find myself going into phases for months I'll be one person, then for months, i'll be someone else (meaning I take on their personas).... WHY? Do I not have my OWN identity??? Was it beaten out of me when i was a kid??
I also always felt i never knew how to fill out an online profile's "about me" section. I always felt BLANK is the best description!
MixedSignals1979 1 month ago
YOU HAVE THREE KIDS WHO LOVE YOU.NICK ME AND SAM.YOUR BEAUTIFUL MOM COME MOVE OUT TO WHERE WE ARE??????????
leanneforyou1 4 months ago
is most like our emotions change so much that at some point we loose track of our mind so we are basically how we feel like at the moment so how can we know who we are if we are so many different ppl
CheshireSeven 2 years ago
Its called mindfulness. when you are all mixed up stop for a sec and pay sttention to your emotions and allow them to be as they arem just be aware of what is happening so you can later on try to see how better you can cope when this happens to you again
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
Sorry for posting so much, crackwalker, but I wanted to point out, as empty as your sense of self is (and I'm not denying that at all) you do seem to have SOME sense of self. You said you let people make all the decisions even if you "don't particularly like" their idea. See, you have tastes! That is a part of you and who you are. You said if you speak up you lose your self confidence. It seems you know at least some small things about yourself, but are insecure & unsure in showing them.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
fragmentation. Yes, I agree with that... I am two, the one inside and the one you see.
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
I'm not sure if I'd say this can't exist on a continuum. Most of the time I hear people refer to bpd identity disturbance as having no identity or taking on identities of others they're with as crackwalker does. BUT I've heard some people say it's like they have two diff. sides in them (or more) who're trying to gain control (BUT NOT like MPD). We all have diff. parts of ourself, but this is stronger with bpd or more compartmentalized by the mind or something. I think it's called fragmentation.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
To be clear- I'm no bpd expert so what I posted before, might be incorrect. I don't want to misinform anyone. That info. was mainly from what I've read from either psych. progessionals OR people who ALLEGEDLY have BPD. I also wanted to add with the "diff sides" thing, some just refer to good and bad side (all people have), but I think maybe they get compartmentalized due to "splitting". I suppose it can count as unstable self image if you flip between seeing a good person and a horrible one.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
Can this exist on a continuum or does it have to be a total and complete lack of identity?
Lyssenk0 2 years ago
no its like if you asked me to describe who I am, I couldn't do it. I have no idea who I am. I do not feel like an individual
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
True! Who am I is what I always think. Like you say if someone were to ask me it would be blank as I don't know.
pantyraider230 2 years ago
me too.. i am only just beginning to discover the beautiful person inside of me. She's wonderful
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
How do we fix this? I don't even know how. Man I'm scared. Funny I feel exactly the way you feel.
Nancymeee 2 years ago
to fix it - we need to learn to love ourselves. first step
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
the part when you spoke about being with two people who are very different at the same time and not knowing who to be and how to act anymore... I can so relate to it.
in such a situation, im so torn and confused i usually end up doing and saying pretty much... nothing.
rgur90x 2 years ago
yes isn't it awful, fearing they'll both think you are wierd, snobby, dumb, whatever .. the best negative that fits goes here.
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
excellent video.
i can relate.
personally i don't think bpd is a disorder
we are all moulded by our environment.
it's our level of confidence that determines how much we are influenced by others...
alot of my videos are about this in some way
minomeshank 3 years ago
bpd is a complex set of problems experienced at the same time. your right it is not really a disorder because it is parts of so many..
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
it's just life to me.
not a malfunction of the brain or a misinterpretation of "reality" caused by chemical imbalances... whatever.
great videos btw.
very interesting, i can relate to alot of what you're saying/saying your feeling...
or i think i can.
yeah, alot of my videos are abot this kind of perception.
at least that's what i'm trying to convey with them.
minomeshank 3 years ago
That was a very interesting video. Thanks for making it. And good luck on your progress. I look forward to more.
Maria8472 3 years ago
:) thank you so much.. there is so much more to do..
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Well ladybard you will not be bullied on my pages, girl- you are a very good person.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
This is exactly like me. I wait for the other person to chose off the menu so I can choose what they want. I try do say as you do,m act as you, do as you do. I try to be who you want me to
JustxAnotherxCut 3 years ago
mmm. I did that for years. Now I decide what I want to eat before I go and then I order something in the midprice range.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
I really must ask my psychiatrist about these symptoms I can relate to. The mirrors and restuarant issues I have always had. I don't feel prefences...It's like I don't have a sense of who I am and therefore can't make
decisions. I'm glad I have a doc I can talk to. Thanks for #3!
saltyeggs71 3 years ago
Yes, its these little things we do automatically and don't really think of. You only realize you do it when someone mentions them.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
r u reading about yourdself? or what?
michael
GlimpseAfterGlimpse 3 years ago
Hi Yes I am reading a script that I composed. I cannot do a video without a script. :(
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
The concept of identity is fascinating to me. The idea that normal people know who they are and never feel the need to question it. What it must be like to look in the mirror and truly see yourself and not confusion or emptiness - a void. To know thyself is the crux of what it is to be human. Very interesting...
maximotion 3 years ago
I have never rewally known ME all my life. Parts of ME are coming to forefront now I think
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Just had yet another strange phone call from a guy I know who has that BPD tag- had to finally bannish him from visiting- he asks the most personal and strange questions over and over- he is fairly bright and is a dead ribger for Jerry Seinfeld, yet chooses to be the village idiot and drive everyone nuts- yes, he is a "psychic vampire" as you alluded to
Mellifluous49 3 years ago
LOL did the guy stay away or is he back again?
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
He still calls and asks me strange questions over and over- most recent is'richy, ah you smart....when they amputate what do they do with the body parts" have told him 9 times they probably incinerate, yet he keeps calling, another one" hey richy, your a genius...does someone come and take the coins from phone booths"-good to hear from you crack-hope your well?
Mellifluous49 3 years ago
lol he sounds a bit off. Oh well. lol I have a friend like that too. I just stopped taking his calls.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Hes brillent actually and is a dead ringer for Jerry Seinfeld, yet he insists on driving everone up the wall
Mellifluous49 3 years ago
I guess it takes all knids to make the world go 'round. :)
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
aint that the truth.........
Mellifluous49 3 years ago