Added: 4 years ago
From: anthonygamer
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  • "Whats did the bible say?"

    "The bible says 2 men ought not lay together" hahahahahahaha priceless!!! Gotta love it....now I reckon you make me some biscuits.

  • good job stop laughing in background 

  • Classic!  LOL!!!!!

  • You got any biscuits for sale in there ?

  • ahaha you fuckers cannot stop laughing its so goddamn funny

  • "What did the Bible say you had to do to get your sins gone?"

    "Kill Doyle Hargraves with a lawnmower blade."

    "Well when you get ready to do that, you call me back."

  • i reckon you make me some biscuits

  • the fags down bellow. v STFU with all the convos.. omg.

  • @sexymexitites Sorry you weren't bright enough to either keep up with, or to skip over our conversation.

    shrug

  • You got any biscuits for sell in there?

  • This shit was funny

  • this is not a priest...it's obvious a southern preacher... a priest would not say have you been saved? at least not like that...this was funny tho

  • In essence, atheism is merely the belief that the physical universe IS God.

  • @Chesire11 what a load of spunk

  • @Sizerian No, actually, it's an inescapable logical consequence of atheism. You can either choose to engage the argument or you can run away from it. Too bad you prefer the latter.

  • @Chesire11 I believe in the physical universe and NOT god. By saying that therefore i still believe in god because it is identical to the universe muddies the waters and makes the difference of definitions pointless. To say that the universe IS god, you must first show that God exists and is in fact the same as the universe. To pre-suppose the existence of god is circular reasoning and makes the definitions of both terms(God and Universe) so fluid as to be useless to any logical minded person

  • @Sizerian thanks for the thoughtful reply. The universe was either self creating or it was created externally. Given the Christian understanding of God as the "uncaused cause" or "the act of being, itself," whatever gave rise to the physical universe is God. If it is the universe, then the universe is God, but if it emerged from anything other than itself, then THAT is God. Those aren't fluid definitions, they are important distinctions with huge consequences either way.

  • @Chesire11 When you say that whatever gave rise to the physical universe is god, you are asserting that the fact that the universe came into being proves a god at all, which it doesn't. It does only when you apply such loose terminology to a god as 'uncaused cause' or 'the act of being, itself'. These are new agy, almost superfluous 'woo' terms that necessitate very little actual definition, and which presents your god very differently than what is commonly understood.

  • @Sizerian Both positions are inherently, expressions of faith, avoidable only by ducking the question altogether. Pretending one position is more rational than the other misperceives both faith and reason. They are not substitutes, they are necessary complements - neither can be superior to the other. Reason is the essential tool by which we interpret and understand data, but we not before it is first known through faith. To imagine one could operate absent the other is itself an absurdity.

  • @Chesire11 Bullshit....a position in which you simply refrain from assuming an unobservable concept is not faith. It is reason. Making a claim of complexity simply because the knowledge rests in uncertainty is illogical.

  • @Sizerian You are correct, refraining from making assumption is not faith, but neither is it reason – it is abstention. Any statement of fact is founded upon a string of assumptions; that a universe: exists, is objective, operates according to coherent laws (also necessary for logic/reason to be valid), is being accurately observed. Each of these is an unprovable assertion of faith. Thought, knowledge and reason all require faith. Reason without faith is as meaningless as math without numbers!

  • @Sizerian I am saying that a coherent universe requires that it proceed from a single, “uncaused cause,” or “God.” Therefore, the only alternative to an external God calling the universe into being, is precisely that “new agey” pantheism that claims the universe emerges from itself. The problem on which I commented was that those who reject the existence of God as an unproven improbability cannot do so without themselves embracing an even greater, but just as unproven improbability.

  • @Chesire11 Again, you are calling the 'uncaused cause' GOD...this is incredibly dishonest intellectually. You know what people conceptualize when the word 'God' is used, so don't use it. Calling the 'uncaused cause' GOD is looking at a problem and shrugging your intellectual shoulders: "Ah, i don't know how this happened(yet)....i guess God it."

  • @Sizerian No, when I refer to “God”, I refer to an external/eternal cause that creates the universe continually. Further, I infer therefrom that this universe, being unnecessary to God’s existence, is being created by choice. That satisfies the definition of a personal God. I am being very honest about the whole thing, I am including the alternate cosmology which posits a self caused universe, when I refer to that as a sort of pantheism in which the universe itself is an IMpersonal god.

  • @Chesire11 the fact that your definition of the universe actually satisfies the definition f a personal god as well is cause for extreme bashing...you are imbecilic and i've no more energy for this useless conversation.

  • @Sizerian Once again, I agree, this conversation has become useless. The fact that you don't bother to read what I have written is clearly demonstrated by how consistently you raise objection to points I haven't made and are, in fact, exactly opposite to the point I was making.

    I never defined the universe as a personal god, in point of fact, I described it as an IMpersonal god, if it is its own origin. Also, you seem to have a difficulty getting that the universe as god is a METAPHOR.

  • @Chesire11 Oh wow...read a page down and you'll find what you yourself wrote, that you have somehow rationalized the necessity of a 'personal god'. Now you're just changing your story. This is why discussions with theists is pointless...

  • @Sizerian What I wrote was that there are two competing possibilities; the universe caused itself , or it is caused externally. Only if the cause is external is a "personal god" necessary; if the universe is self causing, then you are left with a pantheistic IMpersonal "god." Go back and see if you can find a quote in which I contradict myself

  • @Chesire11 In both cases you are arriving at what you call a god....of some sort. You are however unable to show this. Unless of course your usage of the word 'god' is at odds with common usage, and again are serving only to misrepresent for the sake of spiritual acknowledgment, which I deem unethical and anti-intellectual.

  • If your only solid definition of god is that which brought about the physical universe, then you could just as easily call it the originator or the paternatural cause or the uncaused cause or whatever....but you choose to use the term god because it makes it easier to relate the origin of the universe to a spiritual creator. This is disingenuous at best, and misleading terminology at least.

  • @Sizerian No, I am calling it God, because I am saying It is distinct from the universe. It is not a part of what It created. It interacts with and gave coherence to that universe, preferring order to chaos. The universe cannot be necessary to It, yet engaged in an act of creation, which implies either inevitability or choice, or "Will". As the universe is not necessary to It, and It prefers order to chaos It must have "willed" existence, and act which requires a "person" - God.

  • @Chesire11that is an assumption that something created the universe and that thing still exists...and in order for it to be separate from this universe, there can be no observance or realization of it here and now, which makes your assumption pointless. And again, why call it God if you cannot possibly relate it to the Spiritual being which that word connotes? Do you really think that is honest?

    Wow, you have proven absolutely shit-all. You use flawed logic to prove an illogical being, congrats

  • @Sizerian That the universe was created is an inference, based in our shared assumption that the universe exists. From that, there are only two possibilities: the universe caused itself (not sure how action can precede existence, unless you redefine “existence”) ; the universe is being caused externally. Neither is provable; ergo, both are statements of faith. I used flawless logic to prove that faith in God is, by definition, no less rational than faith in material origins of the universe.

  • @Chesire11 quantum physics and the idea of quantum vacuum fluctuations....look into it. The universe may not have needed a specific first cause....

  • @Sizerian Absolutely, I agree with you, wholeheartedly. It is entirely possible that the universe had a purely material origin

  • @Chesire11 I did not say a material origin.

  • @donkeylips88 to say that God does not exist is every bit as much of an expression of unproven belief as it is to say that He does exist. It is certainly something that a very reasonable person can believe (and may do), but it does not make taht person MORE reasonable/rational than a person who believes that God exists. In fact, stated differently, atheism is an unproven faith that he universe emerged from itself, that it is its own original cause.

    Good luck with that.

  • @Chesire11 An atheist need not define how the physical universe came into being to hold no belief in God. The burden of proof lies with the one making the positive claim, made more so if that positive claim is extraordinary and complex. By asserting that the Universe came into being by the will of an all powerful being is a positive claim that stands on far lesser grounds than the simple belief that the Universe does, at least exist...which is all that atheists believe.

  • @Sizerian Captain Soundboard (to whom I direfcted my original reply) made a positive claim, namely that God does not exist, therefore, by inescapable inference, he MUST be asserting that the universe emerges from itself. That is a statement of faith no less than the claim that the universe was created by God. This is different from not believing in God, which is a much more limited statement. Yours is the safest of the three positions - but the least fun if you don't mind me saying! ;?)

  • You're right that to claim outright that god does not exist MAY be a positive claim. It can, however, be a factual positive claim if it can be shown that the god which is defined is an impossible one(thought this has not been shown to be the case here, yet, of course). and yes, i guess my position might be the 'safest' one, but that does not and should not have any bearing on my opinions. What does have a bearing on my opinions is logical soundness.

  • @Sizerian But logic does not operate in a vaccum; logic infers from what is know that which must follow. Logic, or reason, canno, however "know" anything - even itself. To "know" a thing, is an act of faith, it is the assumption from which logic/reason is able to proceed. Without faith, reason is like a car on a lift impotently spinning its wheels upon nothing.

  • @Chesire11 Obviously, logic can and does prove applicable and practical, as in every day life and common knowledge, observations and predictions, mathematics, etc. To say that using logic is faith shows your incompetence of either logic or of the terminology we are using here. Some 'logical' things may turn out to be false, but some 'logical' things are absolutes. However, you are no more knowledgeable about the attoseconds before the Big Bang as I am, or that any quantum physicist is

  • @Chesire11 Logic is not faith....you show your misunderstanding of either logic itself, or the terminology involved here. You know no more about the first attosecond of the unierse or what came before than does any quantum physicist, so your fanciful assumptions about your magical 'first cause/God' are "proven" in fantasy...

  • @Sizerian I cannot observe, measure nor prove what existed before the universe emerged into existence, but neither can the quantum physicist, nor (for that matter) can you. Therefore, your characterizations of my assumption that the universe was externally caused (and the inferences that follow) as “fanciful” and “magical” are themselves irrational expressions of faith. (You would be better served to remain agnostic, or to try to prove the universe is self causing.)

  • @Chesire11 quantum physicists do not make assumptions based on faith as you do. You seem to go an impossible step by assuming that a god exists

  • @Sizerian I'm sorry, but thought is quite simply impossible without faith. Reason proceeds from assumption which are accepted on faith. Faith is sometimes religious, most often, though it is far more mindane, i.e. faith in teh coherence of the universe, but I'm afraid I'm just repeating myself now...

  • @Sizerian You show your misunderstanding of what I wrote. I never said logic = faith, but that logic = reason. Logic/reason, is a process by which we infer relationships between data, and infer other data therefrom. The assumptions from which reason proceeds, whether it be the existance of an objective reality, coherence of the universe, the accuracy of observed data are matters of faith w/o which it would be impossible to "know" anything, even our own existence.

  • @Chesire11 but the only reasoning which leads you to assume that there must be a god is faulty reasoning. you misuse logic to fit a pre-perceived notion.

  • @Sizerian No, my assumption is a matter of faith. That faith may be misplaced, but it is not based upon reason. I don't misuse logic, I understand what it is and what its limits are. You, on the other hand, use terms like faith and reason without regard to their definitions (VERY sloppy thinking), then, when you fail to support your position credibly, you cop out and accuse me of misusing logic.

  • @Sizerian ...just one other point of clarification, "all powerful being" implies a belief that God is one being among lesser beings. It infers that He is part of the universe, rather than "the act of being, itself."

  • @Chesire11 I say the universe is the act of being, itself....why must you further complicate things by assuming an irrational being?

  • @Sizerian Actually, what I am assuming is not an irrational being - that would necessarily be chaotic and incapable of producing a coherent universe. What I am assuming is actually an ordered universe necessary for reason to have any resonance with existence. I would suggest that it is actually MORE complicated to imagine a thing within time causing itself to be. Everthing emerges from a preceeding cause, but from what does time itself emerge? 

  • thats not a priest... priests dont ask if you are saved.. southern baptist preachers do

  • 20 people are friends of Doyle Hargraves.

  • Im a proud Catholic!

  • @TheCaptainQuantum that's not a good thing.

  • @donkeylips88 It is for me!

  • @TheCaptainQuantum do you know how many catholic priests rape and molest children???? it happens all the time, and it's mostly catholic priests. and ur pope, protecting child molestors from being arrested and then having the catholic church send them to other states and countries, and repeat the process...that's f*cking sick, and i feel sorry for you that you've been out of the light on that topic for so long.

  • @donkeylips88 Im sorry you have such a skewed perception of reality and such disdain in your heart. Maybe you should try going to church instead of just insulting Catholics in a Youtube comment. Good luck! Bye!

  • @CaptainSoundboard hahahaha, i have a skewed perception? you're brainwashed, and you believe in something that doesn't even exist. and you belong to a sect that has known child molesters traveling over the country and the world, how about you educate yourself and watch the DOCUMENTARY called 'deliver us from evil', it'll do you some good knowing that truth. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!! :D

  • @donkeylips88 I'll pray that God brings you knowledge and tolerance. God Bless.

  • @CaptainSoundboard don't waste your time, it won't work because God doesn't exist.

  • 20 people are Priests

  • these lines are perfectly times and delivered

  • I hope you guys confessed your prank to the priest.Im sure he would forgive you.It is a cute prank,but pranking a holy man of God would make me a might bit nervous.lol

  • @SmokinMo11 we all know gods not real....

  • 19 people don't like them french fried potaters

  • Quis Ut Deus!!

  • The Preacher sounds like Tom Petty as his KOTH Character Lucky!!

  • this is the funniest shit ever hahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhh­hhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • lol love the snickering it adds to the punchline:)

  • its almost too funny.

  • thanks a lot for uploading this lol

  • Absolutely priceless.

  • That's hilarious! I love Sling Blade! Thanks for uploading, good job!

  • That second one nearly cut his head in two....two men ought not lay together, unless one has a lawnmower blade.....

  • I'm ya boy.

  • not to good...the questions the priest asks are not answered correctly in my opinion...not to mention the laughing....it feels the 2 guys try hard to be heard laughing...could ahve been better....

  • the laughing kills it.

  • im your boy

  • I love this its great!

  • grow up

  • God, I always love the ones that just set themselves up for what comes next. This was good.

  • That priest is dumb asking how did you get saved, indicating that you have to get saved before you can get baptised. It can happen at the same time

  • @fffgggfggg

    Ever read the Bible? Its very clear, first faith, then baptism.

  • The Biscuits part caught me off guard so bad Lmao hahahahahaha

  • Sorry, this doesn't sound like a priest, it sounds more like a preacher for one of those redneck Protestant denominations, pentecostal, baptist, etc.

  • Awesome! I can't believe this has been on youtube since '07, and I'm just now finding it. 

  • =What did the bible say you had to do to get your sins gone?

    -Kill whoever with a lawnmore blade

    lmao!

  • this sucks.

  • hahahaha...wow I listen to this like everyday..it never gets old!!!

  • kinda funny ,but a preist would not ask If youd been saved

  • @Motorakid priests are known for raping little boys but you dont think he would ask a personal question like that? u must be smokin rocks chief

  • @selfesteemdestroyer my dick's still sticky from your mums cum.

  • lmao. EPIC VIDEO AND POSTS!!!!

  • @selfesteemdestroyer no chief I mean only a protestant would ask that,.... catholics aren't into the whole saved thing,...on second thought maybe I'm thinking reborn...nevermind

  • @selfesteemdestroyer Public school teachers rape and molest the most kids. Unfortunately it happens in every organization. However, in the Catholic church it was in the 70s. School, its still going on. You might want to check out the actual statistics.

  • @johny260 Damn i heared that to. Im Catholic. lol. glad i didnt go to a Catholic school.

  • great

  • U SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT GOING-WHY DID U HANG UP? ITS NOT SINFUL BECAUSE ITS LIGHT-HEARTED FUN

  • some folks call it a kaiser blade

  • I read the bible quite a bit (thats not enough) took me 4 years to read the bible (oh) lmao

  • @HipnosisV1Games lmaoo

  • Do you know what would be a awesome prank call? Slingblade calls the westboro baptist church.

  • @rowan196 Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Comments on YouTube: Revealing people that are obviously brand new to the internet.

  • "Knocked'm two good whacks widit...."

  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW­WWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS­SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMSSEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • got any biscuits for sale in there?

  • toooo funny

  • lol I love this.

  • "They turned me loose from the nervous hospital..."

    Very funny prank.

  • "Bill Cox.....Im ya boy"

  • This is by far the best prank call ever it's hilarious !

  • got any biuscits for sale in thare

  • that seconunun nearly cut his head in two

  • This is obviously not a Priest, he doesnt speak like one.

  • You got any mustard in there? I'll have me some mustard on dem french fried tators.

  • '' i reckon you make me some bisquits''

  • both djs are atheist scum bags thinking thatys funny to call someone to be baptized see thats ignorance.

  • @TheBookofEnoc

    Lighten the fuck up. 

  • @TheBookofEnoc i guess jebus doesn't have a sense of humor your sure don't

  • ur gonna go to hell dude

  • Who wouln't like to give these deejays 2 good whacks with a lawnmower blade for ruining this excellent clip ? STFU !

  • fuckin hilarious

  • "I believe one feller come from Arkansas." Funniest line (and scene) in the whole movie.

  • Great Timing, very cool, thanks for the video!

  • Great video!!!! Thanks.

  • This is True Art ! Great timing, thanks my man! LoL, 5*****! Very, very cool!

  • "What did the bible say you had to do to get your sins gone?"

    "I killed Doyle Hargraves with a lawn mower blade"

  • reckon you can make me some biscuits*****

  • It's been too long since I listened to this. I missed a month, and that is not good.

  • omg im gonna die from laughing XD

  • 4 years,,,,lol

  • Hell yeah, that was some funny shit. I had tears runnin down my face.

  • so good

  • "What was he??"

  • @leaTgirl not funny haha but funny queer.

  • LMAO the bible says 2 men ort not lay together!!! AHHH!!! It took me 4 years to read the bible.

  • HAHAHA FUCKING BRILLIANT

  • Hahahaha I believe one fellar came from Arkansas 5 stars

  • you got any biscuits for sale in there?

  • Yew understand muuee???

  • priests suck, as we all know.

  • "And what does it say about what you have to do to get rid of your sin problems?"

    "hmm..I believe one fellar come from Arkansas."

    LOL!

  • LOVED IT FIVE STARS .

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  • I always love it when people claim they don't believe in something but all they do is bitch and moan about it. Seriously, who gives a fuck? Troll

  • And you base your facts off your own ideas that something written in a book is not true, just because you've never had visual contact with it. What about all those true stories you read in books, do you believe those, have you seen them, oh you haven't seen them, i guess their not true either. We are all ignorant people.

  • What's funny is that you're the only one here looking like a retard

  • Sad.....but just like I said, good for some laughs.

  • Comment removed

  • "tell me how you got saved"

    "I read the bible quite a bit"  LOL

  • You are a sad little person. But hey, at least you are good for laughs.

  • Ghost don't have much to do with God , Ghost are here with us , there is no Heaven or Hell , if there was a Heaven , there would not be GHOST , Ghost are not happy , why , i think that Ghost know that there is not God . so please stop sending me you'er God bs ...

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  • Comment removed

  • i think i am a good man , and i love to help people , there i no God a lot of people know this . its all a lot of bs, to make people weak , sorry to say this .

    i am a GAHOST HUNTER and there are a lot of Ghost looking for God its sad for them to think that God would not be there for them . Its not the real-thing ...

  • Just because you don't believe, doesn't change the facts. I'm sure hell is full of people who did not believe Heaven existed. So you can demean God, Jesus or Heaven as much as you want. It just adds more heat to your situation when you pass. I pray you come to the saving knowledge given to us by the Good Lord, for if you don't then one day you WILL believe when you look up being in torments realizing your belief was wrong. Good Day.

  • I believe that God exists and it doesn't weaken me. If you believe that there are spirits that come back from the dead that hurl objects through the room then how can you not believe that there is no God?

  • This is funny but I don't think this is a priest. A preacher would be more precise because he is talking about being saved. He knows that is the real way to Heaven. He is trying to witness to Carl. Good job!!

  • YAAAA ,, BUT THERE IS NO HEAVEN .

  • If you believe that then there is no heaven in your future. I'll phone in some ice water for you from Heaven cause you going to be needing it.

  • HAHA that was so fucked up but hilarious

  • This is one of the best YouTube videos I've seen yet!!! You got any biscuits for sale in there?!?!

  • can somone tell me how i can do this , i love this is better then tv movie .

    THIS IS WAY FUNNY LOVE IT THANKS .

  • best one i seen besides richard simmons calls a redneck

  • I like them french fried potaters

    "yeah, me too" best

  • I will personally see to it that this receives 100,000 views.

    Your sin problem? "I hit him two good whacks with it."

    Good lord, this is utterly perfect.

  • This is the BEST of the Slingblade pranks. The priest just walks right in to some of the comments, and then the biscuit line comes in to seal the deal. Utterly brilliant.

  • I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Well done!

    I love it, more...

  • awsome

  • Bible says two men aren't not lay together!

  • This is the best one I've heard so far.

  • "Bill Cox. Im your boy" Karl is the coolest

  • that was pure joke!!