There not marrying the whole family! Just you so that takes away from having your own life with your spouse that is how you grow. I really love my parents but I wouldnt let them pick out the man I want to marry too weird.
@puffyclouddd1 Arranged marriages have been common in many cultures up until the last 100 years. Arranged marriages are inexplicably linked to group culture. In a group culture, individual growth is not viewed in the same way as in an individualistic culture.
@Introspective91 It's a good point. I haven't heard of a gay-alliance in an arranged marriage. There are many aspects to these issues regardless if we live in a society that encourages arranged marriage or love marriage (choose your own partner). In all societies people (regardless of sexual orientation) can feel compelled for a variety of reasons to marry people they aren't compatible with.
@shaqdaddy11 Thank you for watching my video. You are right- that there are situations where those in arranged marriages may enter blind and come out worse then they entered. This happens in 'love marriages' too... But thanks for reminding me to approach the topic with more a level approach...I would need to make an update to this video at some point!
@alaivani It doesn't happen in love marriage if you have lived with your partner before. Most of the people live with their partners before getting married. So no, definitely it's not the same. l
@katrinadomi Thanks for watching and leaving your feedback. I am sorry, can you remind me of the specific situation you are referring to - as there are many aspects to both arranged and love marriages.
@alaivani Regarding your reply to Shaqdaddy who said "Arrange marriages are like playing the slot machines. Some hit the jackpot and some get nothing and end up pennyless and sad". I think this situation doesn't happen in love marriages since most of the couples live together before marriage. You know your partner before u get married. If something goes wrong after, its only because you chose to ignore the problem before.
@alaivani Your welcome and let me put it this way. Yes, bad marriages happen in "love marriage" too. But think of this like buying a car. Arrange marriage (you buy the care your parents tell you to buy. It can be a piece of junk but it can also be a very nice car. Love marriage: you hopefully do some research, see if you like the car, learn if there are any problems with the car. You learn of the good and the bad on a basic level before you buy the car.
@shaqdaddy11 Thanks for clarifying. I am wondering, have you experienced an arranged marriage? There are times this does and can happen if a parent simply wants to marry of their child. However, in modern and educated families this rarely if ever, happens. The parents allows the 'girl' and 'boy' to meet and talk face to face and even get to know each other before the final decision is made. If they are not suitable, they can change their mind, but they should not live together before marriage.
@alaivani Nope im not married and this has not happend to me. Though iv done some research on the issue and it seems clear that this is happening in developed countries such as the UK, Australia and even in the US. Cases of arrange marriage where the guy or girl is pressured into the marriage by the parents are poping up. I view this as a clash of the generations. The old dont wanan give up controll and the young want controll.
इस वीडियो पर प्रतिक्रिया दें... But to also say this doesn't happen in 'love marriages' is false. I mean, there are plenty of people who fall in love and are so blinded by love they get married suddenly without really getting to know the other person. So both systems have their merits and demerits!
@alaivani Of course but in the case of love marriage, you only got yourself to blame at the end. But in arrange marriage "who can you blame" ? your parents? family? firends? Like i said earlier lol Arrange marriage is like your Parents playing the slots with your money. They might hit the jackpot for you or they might lose all your money and leave you pennyless lol.
oh, and to add to the comment, I'm not saying arranged marriages are bad, to each their own, but it's no excuse nor reason to say that you know nothing about life. in my opinion. arranged marraige should be something of a plan b: i've failed and I don't know what to do anymore, so I'll get a second opinion... and even then I wouldn'tdo it myself, because i think I have enough experience to know who yes and who no.
@akissy Your comment makes me think about something, why someone would say they don't know anything at 23. Of course this depends on many factors, but there is one that comes to my mind. Often, regardless of culture, we repeat what our parents/family tell us without really thinking the meaning of it. We also don't want to feel left out of our peer group. If all the others are saying it, it takes a strong person to (1) realize it doesn't apply to them and (2) what to say that is different.
the girl you commented about, being 23 and not knowing much about life... that's totally impossible if you have lived in a healthy, educating environment where kids are able to mature, grow and learn as they age. I'm 23, and i know who i want to marry and my parents had nothing to do with it. My aunt told me once parents aren't always right and the one who should be making decisions on MY life is ME. If you don't know anything, then learn! go out and explore, makes mistakes, you're allowded to!
@greenroseglass And who is anybody to say who's bad and who's good for you? Nobody can tell you that but yourself. What if your parents THINK that person is really good for you, but when you get married and live together he or she ends up abusing you? After all, they aren't gonna live with them, they aren't gonna spend the rest of their life with them, how can they know? and it sounds selfish, but it's true: nobody knows better but you.
@akissy thr r abusive couples in "love-marriages". show me a plc in the world whr thr arent any wife-beaters? nobody knows better. every1 takes a chance. and parents chip in bcoz they lived longer in this world and have gone a bit wiser than us. but even then parents do make mistakes. so u can't really say which 1 is right.
@akissy i have some questions for you.. do you consult a doctor when you get sick? do you ride a vehicle driven by another person(airplane,bus,train,cab etc) ? would you call an electrician if you needed something to be repaired or would you learn about electronics and do it yourself? yes we always make decisions in our own self interest but those decisions aren't always well informed which is why we refer to expert opinion, especially when our own judgement can be weakened by emotions.
@priyochatterjee1 You're asking the wrong girl. XD Usually I don't goto the doctor unless it's something I can't treat myself, like measels, or cancer, or stuff like that. I can't drive something if I haven't learned to drive it, and I usually take the bus because I can't drive a car, but I'm learning so one day I can drive myself around. And yeah, I'm learning electronics, at least the basics: paying somebody 200 pesos to repair my computer is just not worth it when I can learn to do it meself.
@priyochatterjee1 Those questions don't apply to the subject at hand,and your last comment is just BS: if I marry I'll marry out of love, emotions are a HUGE part in a relationship, whether ppl like it or not.
@akissy so let me get this straight, you do everything by yourself ..you don't eat burgers or pizzas prepared by other people, you wear clothes which only you make yourself etc etc. you don't prove anything by calling my last comment BS. however if you say that you never have and will never let others take decisions on your behalf then you are lying.emotions always interfere when making rational decisions. most relationships that start with emotions end because of emotions.
@priyochatterjee1 I don't eat out, my stomach doesn't let me, thankfully I know how to cook burgers and pizzas and cakes and sweet bread and all sorts of things, I took a cooking class back when I was a little one, most of my clothing is made by myself since I'm a lolita and have very little money to spend on brand , the only thing I can't make yet is the fabric but I'm learning. But as I said, it's BS, because it is. Emotions, like LOVE start relationships, that you're bitter is not our problem
@akissy The other people have explained arranged marriage in a very satisfactorily way, so please just drop the subject. Your comparisons are not right, because this is a very personal issue. Let me ask you, though I won't answer to your answer: So, the pizza maker is an expert in pizza, would you ask him or her what type of pizza you should eat? I mean after all he IS an expert... that's the type of comparison you should've made. Good day.
@akissy as for the pizza issue i don't eat pizzas because they are very hard to find in my city in India but if i go to a big restaurant and i don't know what to order i will definitely ask the waiter about the most popular dish or the specialty or something like that before i give my order because i am not afraid to seek other peoples advice. good day to you as well.
@akissy so did you make the operating system you are using to reply to this comment ? :-) unfortunately back on earth we mortals are not as talented in so many different areas as you are great goddess. so we live in things called societies and depend on one anothers expertise to meet our daily needs. as for the "Emotions, like LOVE start relationships" crap come to India and interview any old couple you will find decisions like marriage start love.
just to add to my previous comment, I recently actually had an arranged marriage, my in-laws had arranged marriage. My married like is very good, not saying that its perfect, but then again no one's marriage is perfect, but we are happy so far and he accepts me the way I am and I accept the way he is, I love his parents and I can not wait to have a baby, btw im 21 years old, the reason I chose arranged marriage was because most people who have traditional values know the value of women.
@Rajkumari916 Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts and experiences. I appreciate it. Wish you a happy married life and wonderful family life.
That's why in the western culture you don't marry at the age of 23, you marry later. When you are an adult, you know that you should take love with responsibility. Arranged marriage is for kids, not for adults. Adult people know what to do, kids don't. That's why they need somebody else to decide for them. As for the success of the arranged marriage is because divorce is not legal in India. Did you look at the rates of divorce in America when it wasnt legal? I think you need a clever friend.
I would like to comment that i was born and riased in california, and I would prefer an arranged marriage. I know many indian people who have love marriages, and most of them end up divorce.. and its not like our parents hold us up at gun point and say get married or die..thank you for posting this
There not marrying the whole family! Just you so that takes away from having your own life with your spouse that is how you grow. I really love my parents but I wouldnt let them pick out the man I want to marry too weird.
puffyclouddd1 3 months ago
@puffyclouddd1 Arranged marriages have been common in many cultures up until the last 100 years. Arranged marriages are inexplicably linked to group culture. In a group culture, individual growth is not viewed in the same way as in an individualistic culture.
alaivani 2 months ago
Only God has the choice to bring two people together not the parents.
puffyclouddd1 3 months ago
@Introspective91 It's a good point. I haven't heard of a gay-alliance in an arranged marriage. There are many aspects to these issues regardless if we live in a society that encourages arranged marriage or love marriage (choose your own partner). In all societies people (regardless of sexual orientation) can feel compelled for a variety of reasons to marry people they aren't compatible with.
alaivani 1 year ago
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Nice hair Asian women #lushfmlk.info#
helaribuska 1 year ago
Arrange marriages are like playing the slot machines. Some hit the jackpot and some get nothing and end up pennyless and sad.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
@shaqdaddy11 Thank you for watching my video. You are right- that there are situations where those in arranged marriages may enter blind and come out worse then they entered. This happens in 'love marriages' too... But thanks for reminding me to approach the topic with more a level approach...I would need to make an update to this video at some point!
alaivani 1 year ago
@alaivani It doesn't happen in love marriage if you have lived with your partner before. Most of the people live with their partners before getting married. So no, definitely it's not the same. l
katrinadomi 1 year ago
@katrinadomi Thanks for watching and leaving your feedback. I am sorry, can you remind me of the specific situation you are referring to - as there are many aspects to both arranged and love marriages.
alaivani 1 year ago
@alaivani Regarding your reply to Shaqdaddy who said "Arrange marriages are like playing the slot machines. Some hit the jackpot and some get nothing and end up pennyless and sad". I think this situation doesn't happen in love marriages since most of the couples live together before marriage. You know your partner before u get married. If something goes wrong after, its only because you chose to ignore the problem before.
katrinadomi 1 year ago
@katrinadomi Haha let me Restate what i said before " Arrange marriage is like YOUR PARENTS playing the slots with your money" lol.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
@alaivani Your welcome and let me put it this way. Yes, bad marriages happen in "love marriage" too. But think of this like buying a car. Arrange marriage (you buy the care your parents tell you to buy. It can be a piece of junk but it can also be a very nice car. Love marriage: you hopefully do some research, see if you like the car, learn if there are any problems with the car. You learn of the good and the bad on a basic level before you buy the car.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
@shaqdaddy11 Thanks for clarifying. I am wondering, have you experienced an arranged marriage? There are times this does and can happen if a parent simply wants to marry of their child. However, in modern and educated families this rarely if ever, happens. The parents allows the 'girl' and 'boy' to meet and talk face to face and even get to know each other before the final decision is made. If they are not suitable, they can change their mind, but they should not live together before marriage.
alaivani 1 year ago
@alaivani Nope im not married and this has not happend to me. Though iv done some research on the issue and it seems clear that this is happening in developed countries such as the UK, Australia and even in the US. Cases of arrange marriage where the guy or girl is pressured into the marriage by the parents are poping up. I view this as a clash of the generations. The old dont wanan give up controll and the young want controll.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
इस वीडियो पर प्रतिक्रिया दें... But to also say this doesn't happen in 'love marriages' is false. I mean, there are plenty of people who fall in love and are so blinded by love they get married suddenly without really getting to know the other person. So both systems have their merits and demerits!
alaivani 1 year ago
@alaivani Of course but in the case of love marriage, you only got yourself to blame at the end. But in arrange marriage "who can you blame" ? your parents? family? firends? Like i said earlier lol Arrange marriage is like your Parents playing the slots with your money. They might hit the jackpot for you or they might lose all your money and leave you pennyless lol.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
oh, and to add to the comment, I'm not saying arranged marriages are bad, to each their own, but it's no excuse nor reason to say that you know nothing about life. in my opinion. arranged marraige should be something of a plan b: i've failed and I don't know what to do anymore, so I'll get a second opinion... and even then I wouldn'tdo it myself, because i think I have enough experience to know who yes and who no.
akissy 1 year ago
@akissy Your comment makes me think about something, why someone would say they don't know anything at 23. Of course this depends on many factors, but there is one that comes to my mind. Often, regardless of culture, we repeat what our parents/family tell us without really thinking the meaning of it. We also don't want to feel left out of our peer group. If all the others are saying it, it takes a strong person to (1) realize it doesn't apply to them and (2) what to say that is different.
alaivani 1 year ago
the girl you commented about, being 23 and not knowing much about life... that's totally impossible if you have lived in a healthy, educating environment where kids are able to mature, grow and learn as they age. I'm 23, and i know who i want to marry and my parents had nothing to do with it. My aunt told me once parents aren't always right and the one who should be making decisions on MY life is ME. If you don't know anything, then learn! go out and explore, makes mistakes, you're allowded to!
akissy 1 year ago
@akissy The parents don't decide who you marry. They just weed out the bad ones and guide you to the good ones.
greenroseglass 1 year ago
@greenroseglass And who is anybody to say who's bad and who's good for you? Nobody can tell you that but yourself. What if your parents THINK that person is really good for you, but when you get married and live together he or she ends up abusing you? After all, they aren't gonna live with them, they aren't gonna spend the rest of their life with them, how can they know? and it sounds selfish, but it's true: nobody knows better but you.
akissy 1 year ago
@akissy thr r abusive couples in "love-marriages". show me a plc in the world whr thr arent any wife-beaters? nobody knows better. every1 takes a chance. and parents chip in bcoz they lived longer in this world and have gone a bit wiser than us. but even then parents do make mistakes. so u can't really say which 1 is right.
wolvie041007 1 year ago
@akissy i have some questions for you.. do you consult a doctor when you get sick? do you ride a vehicle driven by another person(airplane,bus,train,cab etc) ? would you call an electrician if you needed something to be repaired or would you learn about electronics and do it yourself? yes we always make decisions in our own self interest but those decisions aren't always well informed which is why we refer to expert opinion, especially when our own judgement can be weakened by emotions.
priyochatterjee1 8 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 You're asking the wrong girl. XD Usually I don't goto the doctor unless it's something I can't treat myself, like measels, or cancer, or stuff like that. I can't drive something if I haven't learned to drive it, and I usually take the bus because I can't drive a car, but I'm learning so one day I can drive myself around. And yeah, I'm learning electronics, at least the basics: paying somebody 200 pesos to repair my computer is just not worth it when I can learn to do it meself.
akissy 8 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 Those questions don't apply to the subject at hand,and your last comment is just BS: if I marry I'll marry out of love, emotions are a HUGE part in a relationship, whether ppl like it or not.
akissy 8 months ago
@akissy so let me get this straight, you do everything by yourself ..you don't eat burgers or pizzas prepared by other people, you wear clothes which only you make yourself etc etc. you don't prove anything by calling my last comment BS. however if you say that you never have and will never let others take decisions on your behalf then you are lying.emotions always interfere when making rational decisions. most relationships that start with emotions end because of emotions.
priyochatterjee1 8 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 I don't eat out, my stomach doesn't let me, thankfully I know how to cook burgers and pizzas and cakes and sweet bread and all sorts of things, I took a cooking class back when I was a little one, most of my clothing is made by myself since I'm a lolita and have very little money to spend on brand , the only thing I can't make yet is the fabric but I'm learning. But as I said, it's BS, because it is. Emotions, like LOVE start relationships, that you're bitter is not our problem
akissy 8 months ago
@akissy The other people have explained arranged marriage in a very satisfactorily way, so please just drop the subject. Your comparisons are not right, because this is a very personal issue. Let me ask you, though I won't answer to your answer: So, the pizza maker is an expert in pizza, would you ask him or her what type of pizza you should eat? I mean after all he IS an expert... that's the type of comparison you should've made. Good day.
akissy 8 months ago
@akissy as for the pizza issue i don't eat pizzas because they are very hard to find in my city in India but if i go to a big restaurant and i don't know what to order i will definitely ask the waiter about the most popular dish or the specialty or something like that before i give my order because i am not afraid to seek other peoples advice. good day to you as well.
priyochatterjee1 8 months ago
@akissy so did you make the operating system you are using to reply to this comment ? :-) unfortunately back on earth we mortals are not as talented in so many different areas as you are great goddess. so we live in things called societies and depend on one anothers expertise to meet our daily needs. as for the "Emotions, like LOVE start relationships" crap come to India and interview any old couple you will find decisions like marriage start love.
priyochatterjee1 8 months ago
just to add to my previous comment, I recently actually had an arranged marriage, my in-laws had arranged marriage. My married like is very good, not saying that its perfect, but then again no one's marriage is perfect, but we are happy so far and he accepts me the way I am and I accept the way he is, I love his parents and I can not wait to have a baby, btw im 21 years old, the reason I chose arranged marriage was because most people who have traditional values know the value of women.
Rajkumari916 1 year ago
@Rajkumari916 Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts and experiences. I appreciate it. Wish you a happy married life and wonderful family life.
alaivani 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Arranged marriage is like a biz deal, a compromise.
# the girl needs a male and financial security.
# the boy needs a sexual partner.
# the father of boy wants Return on Investments on the money he spend on boy.
# the mother of boy needs a girl from same caste and same culture.
On the parents level its about exchange of money & on personal level its about sex. nothing more than that.
no love, equality, respect, understanding. Just living together as a sexual partners. im indian btw :P
chint 1 year ago
Thanks for listening and leaving your feedback, Frutella512, Rajkumari916 and lazerbud.
alaivani 1 year ago
I absolutely agree with you, Alaivani. I think that arranged marriage is a good thing provided that divorce is possible if things go completely bad.
Frutella512 1 year ago
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That's why in the western culture you don't marry at the age of 23, you marry later. When you are an adult, you know that you should take love with responsibility. Arranged marriage is for kids, not for adults. Adult people know what to do, kids don't. That's why they need somebody else to decide for them. As for the success of the arranged marriage is because divorce is not legal in India. Did you look at the rates of divorce in America when it wasnt legal? I think you need a clever friend.
katrinadomi 2 years ago
Comment removed
katrinadomi 2 years ago
Rajkumari, Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
alaivani 2 years ago
I would like to comment that i was born and riased in california, and I would prefer an arranged marriage. I know many indian people who have love marriages, and most of them end up divorce.. and its not like our parents hold us up at gun point and say get married or die..thank you for posting this
Rajkumari916 2 years ago
thank you lazerbud
alaivani 3 years ago
wow..thanks for sharing this very broad minded perspective!
lazerbud 3 years ago