In Praise of Failure

[tremault]

every time somebody closes a door on me, I have had an unmitigated success in learning how to do things so much better, and also in getting them to listen up 'til that point. and every person that i talk to for longer than a millisecond is a success in spreading the word about what I do.

there is no failure in my life, just different degrees and forms of success.

[tremault]

the concept is a very good one, and everything you say is very true, but your perspective is to me a rather negative one that could be shifted in another way to be a far more positive one.

I don't fail 99% of the time. I don't fail 50% of the time, I fail 0% of the time. I succeed every second. I succeed in being me all of the time. I succeed in every decision i make. I succeed in practising towards everything i do up until the moment i decide not to do it any more.

[bittersweetkark]

thank you 

[rneovv]

do you think embracing failure is like embracing chaos - disorder, unpredictability.

embarrassment is sometimes called a fear of the unknown.

[rnevv]

i think,

society teaches us to fear failure above all: perform at 100% in school, don't be embarrassing or else... be punished, be ostracized.

that we have to control all reactions.

as if we could.

you are right, stefbot, we can't control all.

we have to let go of control or become absurd.

we fear chaos - being out of control.

but is chaos natural?

i don't think children are as fearful. that their fear is forced.

am i right/wrong? i want to see. i'm not scared to write.

[KvalnirFox]

Great video. Failure and success are different sides of the same coin, you cannot have the one without the another. They melt into one entity which we call life and disappear as mere consepts, words they fade away. What is left is happiness.

[Valelacerte]

This video is behaving in an odd way: the audio is fine but the visual has a stuttering frame rate. I've checked it in Firefox and Chrome and get the same effect; I've noticed this with a few videos on YouTube that are a year or two old. Anyone else getting this?

[imcrazy85]

ahaha when u said FAILURE i panicked for a split second lmao

[Sasuk3xxx]

Watching your videos made me sound extremely intelligent in my classes.

[NeoChalcedonian]

"Never hang your self-esteem on that which lies outside your control." I'll meditate on this for a while.

[PeterRabbitTV]

18:21 What's that from?

[ChristophDollis]

Damn, man, this is brilliant.

What can I say? Thanks again?

I'll say that.

[bellagoestohell]

stef, I know how you like when people assume, so I will assume that you maybe think that you are stronger swimmer in anarchy or atheism waters, and maybe you are. but psychology videos like this one are my favourites from you.

because here, I know all, but you articulate it so well, and what I already knew finally clicks.

[drew335533]

Gosh Stef, this whole living in the moment thing doesn't seem to be that deeply rooted in our culture. It's always, "never enjoy the moment, just enjoy the accomplishment". This makes me so sick, how can we say that enjoying the few days in which we succeed is better than enjoying the entire time up until before then. Life is a journey, and if we don't accept some failure in our life, and don't enjoy the journey, then we don't enjoy life!

[ChristophDollis]

@drew335533

Yes, I bought into that too.

Well, ------- it. I'll have both, however my focus will be on the former ... which will probably be a lot more frequent.

[drew335533]

Damn ya Stef I know what you mean. In school, there's 2 grades, for my school at least. Semester one grade, and semester two grade. It's MUCH more enjoyable to enjoy the intermediate success, and the knowledge you are actually learning. If you look strictly at your GPA and your semester grades, it feels like a constant constriction on your happiness, only to be released when the semester is over. Then, next semester, it'll just start all over!

[rockstarofredondo]

lol, ballerino

[ronpaulspanish]

So I guess what people is really trying to tell me is that Im completely alive (when they say Im a complete failure)... humm... That was meant to be a joke, but I guess I failed...

[sakasajinei]

Thank you! Some of this really hit home, what you said is true. I was constantly looking for something permanent by clinging onto those tiny successes in life that have come and gone, without really ENJOYING the journey. I'll do my best next time and I won't care what others think, but by simply enjoying what I do should be more rewarding to me than success or failure. You're a genius. I love this video!

[stefbot]

Thanks for your kind words, very happy to have been of help! :)

[summergiles]

Haha! Did you just say reach around friends? I have never heard that one. Nice.

[sharperguy]

I think the Buddhist idea of eliminating desire to eliminate fear is only really a task set to show people that truly eliminating these things is impossible.

In the quest to eliminate desire, one comes to the realisation that not only have they simply replaced one set of desires for another, but have increased their fears because the new goal of eliminating desire has taken over their entire mindset.

It is more of an example than a true goal of Buddhist philosophy.

[oober349]

Mingus probably had a higher success rate than these guys

[doctorofghetto]

LOL. Nice picture comparisons, Mr. Stef.

Life is nothing but trial and error, with a spot of sucess.

[RoyvanKeulen]

I am not entirely sure that you covered the potential consequences of faillure, e.a. agonizing pain for the rest of your life through injury, not being able to save your childs life while driving to the hospital.

This video is very true for 'life-goals' though.

[Atheeizm]

Well said. But LAY OFF MCCARTNEY!! lol.

[formic]

...

You've said nothing of value to anyone but yourself.

[michaeldavid26]

Your comment has no value to anyone including yourself.

[stefbot]

I am entirely positive that you are not someone that I want to connect to and relate to.

[Hawk999]

Thank you Stef.

[HappyApostate]

Boy, that was encouraging! I'm going to go count my wrinkles now.

[newperve]

Failure is a sign that your ambition is at least high enough. If you never fail it is because you're not trying things that are a challenge to your abilities. Einstein would never have failed if he kept to his job as a patent clerk, which would be a far greater failure in reality than his failure to make a unified field theory.

[ks100001]

The Zen Master of Canada has spoken!

Thanks again

[heavenlyboy34]

Mr Molyneux, your work is more inspiring than all the MSM blather that's out there today (that I'm aware of). You're a wonderful thinker, IMHO.

[slipcurve]

Try a warmer light for your filming, you look like a zombie. Not that it matters that much, I "watch" my videos on the background anyway.

[dumb14wanker]

the "zombie" effect is called mid-40s

[nkosmach]

:) thanks

[boysdontcry17]

"black rocks of death"

i'm 21, ohgodohgodohgod

[ks100001]

Don't sweat it, I'm 31 and still have absolutely no idea what I want to do when I grow up.

:)

[killyrboyfriend]

@ks100001 Me either! Iwas a nurse and I can't do it anymore. I have no clue what I am good at or want to do. I think I want to be a moody baliff like on Night Court.

But for real, hold me life is scarey!

[USER1046]

@killyrboyfriend really? how are you doing now?

[Motherlandpluto]

@ks100001 It's because you've spent most of your life in front of the computer

[Nickelodeon2002]

Great video Mr. Molyneux

I loved hearing this message, it is like a breath of fresh air for me.

[stefbot]

Thank you so much, and to everyone who has this video so helpful!

[creaturex]

very great video. i enjoyed this deviation from the norm very much. do more :)

[datalorez]

great video.

[OhMymy]

Right! think about how many failures we have to embrace before we see success...

[chriswroads]

Great video

[Trandofir]

If you succeed at embracing failure, which have you done? :P

[R0BKenyon]

That's a very Molyneux kind of assessment. Bravo!

[NoCryingNowYes]

Awesome. Please make more vids like this. We've got enough "true news", and there are other sites we can go to for that. But they don't do philosophy and psychology like you.

[glopur0]

Agreed on later point, but please DON'T stop true news!!!

[dabruin2]

Wow...great job. That was from start to finish a compelling argument. Thank you.

All that being said, I don't know if we should make friends with failure, but perhaps, accept it like an acquaintance or the neighbor who's across the street as opposed to the one next door that occasionally watches your home while you're away on vacation.

[Rokasomee]

is it just me or did the visual quality get better?

[stefbot]

new cam

[rx7guy82]

You continue to open my eyes to solutions for a sad world. I'm glad I can share what you have taught me with thoes around me in an informative way. Maybe, one day, the whole world will know the truth.

[barrywilliamsmb]

That was great, really great.

Thanks Stef.

[qkholster]

Great video as always Stef. However, the exponential growth in medical imaging, dna sequencing, price/performance of computation, and general technological progress may in the relatively near future stave off death to a large degree if not engineer our way out of the aging process entirely.

[DeeperBlueX16]

carpe diem, dudes

lol young stef

[boosuff]

Your videos are always articulate and informative. I think its also cool how your vids seem to parallel with whats going on in my life and strongly relate to the questions and concerns that I personally have. Its like your taking my concerns out of my head and bringing it to the forefront.

[JEHeer6231]

It's because God is guiding Stefan Molyneux to aid you in this life on earth. It's too unlikely to be a coincidence.

[boosuff]

@JEJeer6231

LOL - good laugh

[JEHeer6231]

That was sarcasm, btw. I just remembered that sometimes it's hard to tell when talking online. But anyway, I know what you mean. I've been going through a lot of crap lately, and this latest post has really nailed the topic on the head.

[gerry2345]

Great vid.... Embrase Failure.

[docakh]

Embrase=Embrace

EPIC FAILURE

lol just playing bro.

[gerry2345]

OK... you got me... I have embraced it. Now I want my success.

[stefbot]

then I would say you have not quite embraced it yet...

[gerry2345]

Stef...like all good teachers you stepped in at just the right moment....you are my hero.

[harryogre]

5 stars!

Stef, best in a long time!

Great stuff!

[TheBearCop]

I really enjoyed this one...thanks&great job!

[chardoc89]

right on

[TruthSurge]

So, basically what you're saying is that life is an EPIC FAIL! hahahahha

Great vid!

[matrixcmitech]

alternate title "The Prize of Failure"?

[Am32007]

bravo great video i experieced failure today but i know i will succede

[greenghost2008]

stephan's face is a werid color.

[JRCrowley]

This guy is very cool.

[dakshinamurti]

I thought so. But then he started declining my friend requests on sites like facebook and others. This is hardly compatible with coolness, and it is hardly the norm too, because people like peter Schiff, Lew Rockwell, Brad Spangler , Stephan Kinsella , Jim Davidson and David Nolan have all been cool enough to open their facebooks 2 me. Even uncooler because I have accepted Steph's friend request on Bebo, many many months ago. I guess he doesn't like me anymore for some reason.

[JRCrowley]

Strange.  Maybe he's just too busy to write back to people. Maybe try him again. Otherwise, if it continues to bother you, don't want his stuff.

[dakshinamurti]

Yeah, I thought that could be it at first. But then I thought... hmmm busy for over 6 months, while his friends list was getting larger? I'm pretty sure by now that it is something personal.

[brickmastertube]

ouch!

I just got kicked in the face

=S

[muzzleray]

G'day Stef

Great talk

After many successful failures, learning how to worry effectively and finding out the best time to relax is when I'm stressed, that I use Stress Anxiety Depression (SAD) to manipulate myself into doing or not doing. I'll put Guilt and it's benefits into that aswell, anything to show I care.

Yours sincerely

The Happy Optimistic Existentialist

[RuddODragonFear]

Oh, man, how time has changed you! I'm going to remember the line "I used to look like THIS, and now I look like THIS" as probably the funniest line I ever seen in your videos.

[conquesimo]

What about pursuits that one holds as a personal duty? Are we to ensure that we maintain a preferred proportionality of enjoyment to stress on these items as well?

For example, what if the American colonists fighting off the British suddenly realized that they hadn't enjoyed any of the war in all of its years, then decided to just stop fighting because it wasn't any fun? Wouldn't their situation grow ever worse as they constantly rationalized that further bloodshed is no fun?

[JEHeer6231]

If they feel it is a personal duty, than they don't feel right not pursuing that duty. No one is ever going to enjoy everything they do during their endeavors in life. There is nothing more important than a goal, including the outcome of the pursuit.

[conquesimo]

Right. So, this circumstance would seem to directly refute Stef's point. Having 364 days of stress yielding 1 day of enjoyment per year is sometimes a necessity, despite how much it sucks.

Another example would be taking care of aging and degenerating parents. The process is long and painful, especially if one parent isn't "all there". But, assuming they were appropriate parents during our childhood years, we take care of them anyway because it is felt to be a personal duty.

[PeterTheEvilBastard]

There is another layer to what you're saying about parents and duty. Fear. People fear being left alone when they are old. By helping their own parents people feel more entitled to help when they themselves become old.

[conquesimo]

I'm not sure about that reasoning. My mother is currently taking care of her aging parents and the experience is anything but enjoyable.  She has said to me on more than one occasion that she would rather die while still independent and self-reliant than to put her own kids through the what she is going through.

Also, consider if my mother didn't have any children or capable friends of her own. Do you think she would not look after her own parents because nobody can look after her later on?

[newexperiment]

Who was the inventor that said "I have not failed 200 times, I've succeeded in finding 200 ways that do not work"? Thomas J?

[nhmllr725]

No, not Thomas Jefferson. That was Thomas Edison, the man who invented the lightbulb.

[HomelandTorture]

Tesla said something like - if Edison actually understood science that he would of been able to omit 99% of the attempts he made.

[TheJacolyte]

It's "would have" not "would of."

Don't mind me, I'm a grammar Nazi at work. :)

[HomelandTorture]

No problem, I have a bad habit of saying it wrong. :p

[alagon]

You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you."Heraclitus

[wispaintstyle]

5 star

[rflosi]

Think of the number of philosophers you watch on YouTube and which few you subscribe to.

[TheJacolyte]

This is some great public education.

[JEHeer6231]

And it's completely voluntary!

[erdal0]

5 minutes after this video i heard a ambulance

lol

[OttoVonKonrad]

A great book along these lines of though and an easy read is

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

Excellent video Stef!

[Deathinmusic]

Great video. Unfortunately I still have a long way to go to be able to embrace the inevitability of failure because of my serious anxiety problem and destroyed self-esteem. :( Videos like this are helpful and motivational though, so thank you.

[RyanPig]

Good stuff, Stef. Favorited.

[Valelacerte]

Stef, I just peed and crapped myself and rejoiced in my failure.

[quakergamer]

This vas very insightful and I am glad to see that I had some of this stuff figured out before this video.

Thanks for speaking so clearly.

[operateur007]

Where is the limit of Stefan Molyneux? Clearly one of the best and very 'powerful' message of Stefan!

You need to bookmark this and maybe listen again and again and again, for this is not easy stuff to digest but I will never say it again: THANKS STEF!

What breeze of fresh air! Somehow I need a glass of wine right now to enjoy this again!

Life is good and enjoy people! Enjoy!

Dr. T Y

[bondthewall]

that was really good one. Inspired me.

[mrnosaj]

always delightful to hear you speak in your way. very nice to hear these things discussed and they are things that all should consider

[mju34]

Quoth Stef: "Failure is the essence of life."

Quoth Buddha: "All life is dukkha." (suffering, strife)

Perhaps you're a buddhist after all, Stef.

[Valelacerte]

Yes, he also talks about living in the moment. All we need now is an analogy involving a Lotus Flower.

[Antilli]

This sir, is one of the best messages you can send to a lot of people out there. Thank you, not only from me, but from everyone that will have benefits of this, and I presume those are a lot of people.

[ravensmomscorp76]

great message!

Albert Einstein said, "I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right." :)

[JuSdAt]

good stuff. I think there are people who are addicted to the thought of failure and it takes over their thought processess. I would love you to do something on addiction. For me that would be the success of the podcasts that Ive been waiting for, though I had fun alond the way!

[TimiS0]

that helped my depression a bit thanks

[rationalsportsfan]

Great video stef. As a sports fan I couldn't help but think of baseball when you were doing your analogies. Baseball is the ultimate sport of failure. If a baseball player were to get a hit in just 35% of his at bats over his career he would easily be considered one of the greatest of all time.

[robshred66]

Hold to the now, the here through which all future plunges to the past . . .

[Jokeyourmind]

Thank you

[TheRightDecision]

five stars!

[gosmokesome]

You looked like a sympathetic chap stef

[stratelite]

very motivational

[McDicker96]

ts1