Added: 4 years ago
From: LordOfAllFevrsNPlags
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  • Oh my hell...lol. That was funny "how much do you do it?"

  • Gingowitch if u masterbate 2 hard will ur dick blow up

  • If that was my son and I would say like it's alright we have feeling like this sometimes. But as long as you do it private.

    Heidi

  • why is it so hard for parents to talk about this?

  • Aahhh, the big chunky GB, That takes me back.

  • Haha

  • hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­ha

  •  that kid sure is to the point! lol

  • Please ignore gingobitch, she's been trolling masturbation videos with her autistic nonsensical rants since the beginning of time. Don't try to reason with her. She's retarded.

  • LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • There should be a Freedom of Skeet Act in such a country as the U.S. In the interest of secular pluralism, I don't care if you jerk off in private, even if I know and don't like to know.

  • @nci fan. Lol! Eewww stop trying to get laid on u tube john goodman! XD

  • that kid is a bad actor, your NOT supposed to scream the reply to whatever the guy asks... lol, I just noticed that this comment is one of the only ones that is not about penis, your hand, and a mirror.....

  • I'm touching myself at this very moment!

  • I want to give all of you an offer to do something fun with me! Does anyone want to swap sexy pictures with one another through email so we can jerk to them and give each other feedback! Think about it!

  • @NCISfan03 are you a guy or girl should be everyones question

  • I'm 46 and still milk it at least 2 times a week been doing it Sense I was 12 and nothing cum out then! What's fun is do it in front of a mirror it looks bigger and watch your face when your cuming! It's your Dick, play with it!!

  • @dipster785 your kinda like a pedophile right now

  • @dipster785 wow...thats umm.... hmm.....kinda creepy???

  • every guy masturbates, at least majority of them

  • @abtz830

    Hehe well I wouldn't change my schedule to watch it, but it was a pretty great show.

  • HOLY FUCK! this kid is ugly.....

  • @sarge727

    thankgod you think so!

    if you found him attractive i may have to call 911...

    think before you type buddy.

  • "How much do u do it" lmao.

  • @123coolteen

    Twice a day

    Are you proud of me?

  • keep thinking that is wrong we will have future generation masturbating at sick shit like fire hidrants and shit like that

  • what episode is this?

  • how much do you do it!? LMAO!!!!

  • Does DJ even know what Dan is talking about?

  • funny article about masturbation at boomamerica. wordpress. com

  • Gross!!!!!

  • Thats the best answer you can give, "everyone does it," because everyone does, including your priest.

  • @basicboi23 lmao!!!

  • LOL! That was a good show.

  • Um actually it's a part of puberty so it's not unhealthy that's like saying young females having periods are unhealthy.

  • @Fishercherrlynn just so you know, teenage girls do it too.

  • @StarBrown08 but its a normal thing man so hey screw off it helps guys and girls help relive themselves so they cood relive all there anger and frustation or they can go off and relive those feelings by for boys touching girls,or raping them or for girls doing something stupid and embarrsing themselves so am i rite or am i rite?

  • really only that i did 22 when i was 14 eat it no actually not girls only

  • what ep. is this?

  • That kid looks like Mr. Spock! O.o

  • They've mentioned that a few times on the show.

  • Awesome.

  • 誰か日本語でなにがあったのか教えてください

  • Excessive masturbation, and not only, is that these items be removed from the body without measure, predispunand individual to a whole series of disorders and diseases.

  • I masturbated for long time :) and now i'm almos 14 few months left :P ... but i say that masturbation causes bad things it causes hand's and leg's shaking it affect your psyhic and fizic ... make you sleepy .. sperm contains calcium, lecithin, magnesium, phosphorus, testosterone, potassium, vitamin B12, zinc, enzymes, These things are vital for human body and its normal development, especially during his training: a teenager in the years thereafter.

  • lool What are u nuts

    keep jerking it.

    My record was 14 times in one day when I was 16 beat that you punk

  • @dark2200 oh my gods, where did you get all that time? xD

  • Rainy day in summer and nobody home :D

  • @HiperHiv

    Actually it's healthy to blow your load every once in awhile, and if you're not "getting it" then masturbation is the only way. Do you really think it's good to hold in that same sperm for months or years at a time? It needs to be cleared out once in awhile just like urine and poo, and it replenishes itself extremely fast. In any case it feels good, is totally harmless (trust me, been doing it for 9 years) and is a good way to relieve tension, relax, and safely satisfy yourself.

  • anyone else curious about why hes holding the stool in that position at the end?

  • @MilliRoundSounds Masturbators move into masturbating positions many times in their day, like when they are under stress or doing work. This is because when they touch themselves they feel pleasure, and so they move to that position uncontrollably. If you are a human being and you don't want to be crippled and you don't want to live your life less than your destined strength then I suggest you stop masturbating. Check out happehtheory . com if you are in doubt. He proves it very well.

  • @gingowitch lol, it's accepted by the scientific community that masturbation has pretty much no negative affects at all to the human body. The happehtheory is a joke and everyone knows that. I never thought anyone actually believed that. You aren't the smartest of the bunch......

  • @adam11mpls Happehtheory is not a joke. The reason you think it is a joke is because your culture has decided to make you into an inferior human being and thus when the truth as most humans on the globe is presented to you, you think it's funny. Others like also call things "gay" even though gay is a synonym for happeh in order to disparage yourself from developing the yin part of your body. Masturbation makes you crippled. And scientists knowingly tell lies in order to keep their prestige.

  • @gingowitch You're insane.

  • @adam11mpls Why do you want to live life below your destined energy level? Why do you want to become "inferior" physically and mentally? Your own hand is doing it so stop! And if you are circumcised check out tlctugger . com, it might be the best option, because you were supposed to have sensations all of your life that you are trying to make up for with masturbation. But it will never work without a foreskin and physical rehabilitation.

  • @gingowitch I never even said I did it. 

  • @adam11mpls So are oyu one of those people that did it then stopped and watched his body heal up, and then you tell other people to do it? That's kind of.... wrong.

  • @gingowitch What are you doing kitchen? 

  • @SavertonJr What you wrote does not make sense. You are crippling your body with masturbation and it is affecting how you talk and think. In other words it is making you stupid, abusive, and animal like. Do you want to reincarnate as an animal? I didn't think so. Check out happehtheory . com.

  • Hmmm....id say about 3 times

  • Of coarse Dan beats his dick......look at his wife.

  • @JackPantz

    He she rock xDDD

  • @JackPantz you're wrong for that! ROFL!!

  • @JackPantz

    Everyone does it, cunt, including your mom.

  • does anybody kno what episode this is?

  • i talk about it. 6 times a day. minimum.

  • This scene is right after Dan found jizz on the ceiling of the bathroom.

  • @BrutalAsHell Look at Howard Stern, he has a smoking hot wife, and he beats off all the time.

  • @drkzvosky

    Haha. No doubt. Beth IS smoking hot.

  • oh please, you're a god damn liar.

    if you have hands and a dick or a pussy and aren't mentally challenged, you masturbate. quit giving a fuck what others think, that's faker than all those plastic hollywood bitches, us dudes jack off too, combined.

  • yes...

  • i am willing to stop this habit and become strong

  • Nah man don't stop. You will only become weak and wither away..

  • no i am stopping u get weaker when u masturbate rather keep it in when i meet the right one then ill keep it in more and more then one night just let it out :)

  • I stopped for 6 months straight. THere is no stength to be gained from it. Science has proven that only after 7 days of abstinence testosterone boosts slightly. But on the 8th day it's back to normal.

    Furthermore, deciding to hold it back for life until you find the right person will guarauntee that you will only last 1 minute with that person and that's not a good thing. Sexual stamina is built through lots of jerking off for years.

  • i dont beleive that i aint done it in a while i feel happyer my exerciseing has come back through bashing i did stop eerciseing i would rather find the right one and be in excesty land than use my hand plus from jerking of i cant push my body to train when i dont i can do more reps i dont beleive science at all

  • It seems to be obvious what happened here. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but are you religious? Muslim? It would explain a lot. Faith motivates just about every abnormal reaction from prophetic visions to suicide bombing. I think more than anything, you suffered immense guilt from your masturbation, and a guilty conscious affects everything you do. So your improvement is called "Placebo," that is believing it hard enough makes it true.

    Faith is all well and good. Just making sure you konw.

  • ok so u have a problem with muslims and u seem to only read media version of islam it is pretty obvious u cant say anything nice so u just attack muslim's even if i werent muslim masturbation is a dirty habit good luck too your future hand

  • This has nothing to do with whether I actually like Muslims. Half of my friends are Muslim.

    Everything I said was correct.

    My point is that faith in general has a powerful effect on the way you think--good or bad depending on the person. That's with any religion. I was merely using suicide bombings as an example of the bad, and prophetic visions as an example of the good. Is that the truth or an attack? It's the truth. To say that neither of those things happen because of faith is a lie.

  • Now, your apparent fear of masturbation is another way that your faith has motivated the way you think. You proved it by calling it a dirty habit. I saw it the same way when I was religious, feeling extremely guilty every time I succumbed to temptation and even imagined it was making me a weak and bad person. But without faith, very few people really think those things. They just enjoy it.

    I don't discourage faith. It's a positive thing if you don't let your faith push you to do bad things.

  • i dont fear masturbation i choose not too do it rather hve a fit women on top of me than useing my hand rather have faith than jack of to pictures that women i wont get or even be with

  • Some religious people have been able to see the benefits of masturbation. Namely:

    -Enhance your immune system

    -Contributes to a healthy prostate (prevents cancer)

    -Relieves stress

    -cures insomnia

    -provides gratification until you find the right person

    -Weakens you for about thirty minutes, but soon energizes you

    It's worth looking into at least. Seems you're very young.

  • young u cheeky git i am far from youung there are no benefits from masturbation u get a bent dick oh but u think that is good it takes about 3 days for body to recharge the religious people u use are scientist as muslim jew and christians are against masturbation unlawfull in these religions

  • I think your response to masturbation is very abnormal. It seems as though you might have very slow testosterone production. That's just my guess. If you're not too shy, bring it up to a doctor or a nutritionist and you might get recommended to take some zinc. It will help with your workouts. That's just my guess. But just try and keep an open mind and learn more rather than deciding definitively that there is no more information besides what you came up with.

  • u still mumbling on my semen builds up quick like every other human being tbh i gotta get ready to check this girl out 2moz in the clothes shop as for u keep useing your hand untill u get laid then it will stop

  • LOL, it doesn't stop. Trust me. I've been a committed relationship for 6 months, and now am non committal to a few girls. My girlfriend was awesome in bed, and we still have sex once in a while even after breaking up 5 months ago. So I'm not speaking from delusions. Having a girl, or a wife (though I've not been married), is not a free pass to sex all the time. And it's best to abstain for periods so that it does not get tedious and so you can do other things than fuck for three hours a day.

  • hahaha about the funnies thing u said yet listen i am going to find it hard to rebuke this one if she asked for sex god will be the last thing on my mind wait i dont even know her name yet ohhhhh she is gourges

  • Most likely she won't ask. Doesn't mean she's not attracted to you. Women just have a way of giving very subtle hints that they want to fuck you for the first time. THey almost always leave it up to the man to lead the situation and understand their signals (including positive and negative signals). Most of them don't want to seem like a slut and make the first move. But I wish you the best of luck with this chick. Hopefully she's beautiful inside , too.

  • i hope she beautifull too inside i dont want sex with her that aint even on my mind well she is very pretty but when she smiled at me and looked at my eyes that was it for me so i am pretty sure she likes me well see what happens 2moz

  • WHAT!!?? You DON'T masturbate??? Your fuct up. Period.

  • lol funny how dj was playing with himself when he found him.

  • what episode?

  • this clip... don't you see DJ, he's playing a gameboy... by himself, he's playing with himself.

  • girls masturbate too..

    with their fingers sometimes, but its not like we actually stick it up our VG's that would hurt. :P

  • Dude, you're too young...

    Wait another year or two and then you'll undestand. =)

  • Dude whenever some1 says

    i'm 12 years old and what is this?

    just... dont reply...

  • Nobody ever talks about it !

  • ok, i do it once or twice a day, and now it doesn't even feel that good. truly, i feel i have to do it, then when i do it wasn't even that worth it. how can i make it feel better?

  • they put something in vagina, like fingers, or any straight object, so it will have a contact with G point which makes u go ahh ahh XD

  • they put theyre finger/hand/something in...there lol

  • lol you tenderize your dick like steak haha

  • does any1 what this eppy is called?

  • Guys must have it easy...all u need is u + ur hand....if there was 1 reason id want to be a guy, id be this.

  • My favorite show of all time, have every season on dvd, timeless and classic show

  • it lowers your confidence

  • Damn

  • i do it ones a day sometimes i don't

  • Why didn't Roseanne talk to the kid, she doesn't have a problem talking about anything and usually ends with a cackle.

  • wasn't that guy that played Dan also in the show Father of the Pride

  • Well, I don't know if it is a problem or not but Im starting to worry about my masturbation. I mean, I do it one or two times in a WEEK and I'm satisfied... I see guys talking about 2-3 times a DAY and I just did it 3 or 5 times since I exist (16 years old) and maybe not masturbating too much is also a problem.

  • i wait a long time, weeks and do it. before i cum i let go and let some cum drip out and then jerk again for like 5 seconds while its coming out. it feels amazing. lol

  • .......wtf.

  • dude i know what you mean i wait for like 4 days and jerk then RIGHT before i cum i stop for like 3 secs then jerk and stop again and keep doing that for a while,its like total extreme

  • everyman has to try it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • i know! its incredible im glad i started doing it

  • how do u do that i'm 14 and don't no

  • Most adolescents today learn it much earlier through media..and teens tend to masturbate more frequently. I just wonder, is there a long term effect of excessive masturbation like 2-3 times a day during teenage years? can it cause baldness?

  • it actualy lessens the chance of you getting a type of cancer :)

    THE MORE YOU KNOW

  • it lowers your confidenece

  • Besides, i don't even care if i forfeit my humanity, because who knows truly what it is to be human anyway. I think rejecting what it is is to be human is really to be the most human of all...because it shows the shear will of the human mind...

  • I just don't see how everybody doing it makes it right... i don't know... maybe nothing i said was true, but all i know is that there will be at least one thing separating me from the rest of the world, and one less thing i don't have to depend on. Maybe its more the will it takes to stop, then the actual act, maybe i just need to prove to myself that i have control over my body... i think being free from the constant subconscious tugging of primal urges is worth the effort... dont you?

  • Its funny how you think i am being force fed, when I have a feeling its the complete opposite. Did you ever consider the possibility that this worlds ideas are screwed up and YOU are the one being fed false information? All i know is that i dont masturbate now and i have alot more energy now then i had when i did masturbate. Unless you try and stop,even for a little bit, you havent found out for yourself that there arent benefits to refraining,so you truly cant say that what i am saying is false

  • Also, i am not :"force fed" anything, i have read and researched and have came to these conclusions myself, it has nothing to do with what my church tells me, because the bible also clearly states that we all need to find out for orselves if what we are being taught is true, and i have, on my own, found plenty of evidence and reasons in the bible to not masturbate.

  • I have a personal question for you... do you ever remember feeling guilty for masturbating? I garentee you that a person that who has never talked or heard anything about masturbation will have a guilty consience. I just think its funny how people have to be told that maturbation is alright and "its no big deal"... if it truly was, people would not have the need to constantly justify it, just to shut up their own moral compass.

  • Fine, i dont even care about the positive effects or even the false negative effects. The bible clearly states to stay away from unclean things and to keep your body from defilement, and there is NO better way to live your life then in accordance with the bible, and if you truly read it, you would find that out.

  • Part 3: Also, if you dont care about the bible, there are many other reasons... It does decrease the length of orgasms, decreases the amount and quality of sperm and makes decreases hardness of erections... so those are my reasons for not masturbating... P.S. Please try to keep the disscussions rational and free of cursing....it only makes people sound more stupid...

  • Part 2: I realize that there are physical benefits to masturbation, but I belive the cons outweigh the pros. When you maturbate, your mind turns to sexual things, because it is obviously a sexual act. So the more you maturbate, the more your mind-and way of thinking-start to focus on sexual things. In turn you become much more likely to commit fornication, which is something (because of my trying to follow the bible in all aspects of my life) I would never want to do.

  • but it wanking is natural..

  • @EthernetStudios

    you have it a tad backwards... you don't masturbate and then think of sexual things; you think of sexual things and then you masturbate.

  • @RottingintheMidwest: Not necessarily.

  • @RottingintheMidwest It's called dyslexic behavior if ever there was such a thing. It's like jacking off to porn and then getting horny afterwards. LOL

  • Part 1: Please dont bring age into the disscusion, it is a utterly invailid point. I know noturnal emissions are natural, its your bodies way of expelling semen,and i am completely fine with that. But i am not talking about that...

  • the dad looks like a real life version of peter griffon lol

  • Orgasms are a bodily function. There are videos of fetuses masturbating in the womb. Masturbation improves the functioning of the immune system, it prevents prostate cancer in men, etc. There is absolutely no harm in masturbation, the people who preach that there is are sick people who can't admit to the sexual nature of all human beings. Don't be one of those people.

  • masterbating fetuses? wtf?

  • Yup. "Sex ed" in the US is a complete joke. They don't care at all about education anyone about the truth, even adults are complete imbeciles when it comes to sex.

  • they stick their finger in their vagina and move it up and down.

  • Mostly they just rub their clits

  • Comment removed

  • sure he did

  • lmfao

  • I do. everyone does. But its only weird when you think about the fact that EVERYONE does it.

    Next time you shake a hand think about it

  • Not true, I have never done it, never needed to.

  • Then you are not human. Straight up, it is that simple. Even asexuals, who have no sexual urges at all, masturbate as a simple required bodily function. If you've entered puberty and not masturbated, then you simply had orgasms in your sleep. It's like taking a dump in your sleep because you decided you didn't want to participate in being a human being and refused to use the restroom.

  • Noturnal emissions ARE natural, and i dont think those are wrong. Maturbation may be a natural inclination, but the inclination of man is bad from his youth up. For instance, what if a sociopth finds it natural to murder? Would that make it right?

  • is it rlly a real episode scene?

  • yes

  • actualy 80% males 40-60% females (not to shure)

  • then 20% of males and the other 40-60% of females are god damn liars.

  • gay ppl that dont admit gave me thumbs down...lolz

  • is true

  • what is the name of this episode?

  • its called Homeward Bound

  • i never had THE TALK with anyone in my family, i worked it all out on my own; i also got good at swimming in sweat during the process

  • Same here man, I learned myself, :D

  • According to you.