John Pinette "chinese buffet"

[DurangoaMesa]

who ever has negged this is chinese

[mocus1]

I lost money at the tables but I made it up at the buffet.

[BritishKid925]

"YOU HERE 4 HOUR"

[nfldude22]

hes a graduate from my high school, and my dads friend went to that chinese buffet with him that day hahaaaa

[JediMindTricks183]

Not funny. 

[cott10r]

@JediMindTricks183 i agree, this guy isnt funny at all

[elbowout]

You go now! I think Louie Anderson first did this routine.

[alfalfa19]

I think... you come back here....... I think maybe you die.

[pandalover90210]

i saw him in portland me and he is hilarious!

[BrokenH4]

LOVE LOVE LOVE! I cry just listening to him!

[awks1375]

To all of you who are hating on John Pinette, this is his most famous routine that he has been doing since about 1990. That's why he launches right into the joke. This guy used to tour with Dennis Wolfburg and George Wallace. That's how good he is.

[XxShorty729xX]

@awks1375 yea I seen when we he first started doing this joke back then. Shit's still funny

[jifrpreston]

@awks1375 I remember seeing him do this on MTV's Half Hour Comedy Hour, followed up with the hair band Chipmunks routine! Love it!

[BigAL1499]

funniest man alive watch my buffet story

[FormulaKimball]

Wow so this is the closest youtube has to Louie Anderson's chinese buffet bit, someone doing a cover of the act? Bummer. Still, "you go now, you here four hour!" LOL

[wastedgamerstv]

he didnt say this originally...my dad used to say these lines and he died in 95 so i know it wasnt this guy

[DenisFreeman2]

@wastedgamerstv ur dad went back in time at least 5 years then and john must have stole it from him. LMFAO my dad says it too since i was a little kid, this is where they heard it from...



[balisongtutorials]

:)

[brooke713713]

haha 69 dislikes

[mocus1]

John, save yourself some trips up to the buffet, just grab the whole tray of Orange Chicken and a tray of shrimp, and take it back to your table.

[CanaryKeeper]

This makes me want Chinese food. :O

[coeloptera]

Justifiably his most memorable routine. This was one of those bits where everything was just perfection. Man hit the jackpot when he wrote this one.

[gunman771000]

That Chinese guy should have used him as a promotional gimick. Put him in the window, people see him eating their food, they think it's good, they'll come in.

It's A Promotional Goldmine!

[TypicalJAFO]

"You scare my wife!"

Oh lord, I'm dying over here...

[shannonwilkerson]

He was rude, though. He came out every hour!

[NaPalm625]

NO BUFFET FO YOU

[bloodsurf69]

I hate buffet dinners

[niveababay]

so i'm in a chinese buffet lol you know its downhill from there

[Luv0rSin]

lolololololol

[Martyeffinmar]

Just no.

[meelustrike]

LMAO

[pika23]

I saw him in 2002! Oh my word was he hilarious! I so seriously miss Rascals Comedy Club in Ocean, NJ. Saw Margaret Cho there in 2001 and John Pinette in '02

[News4TheWeek]

where is this from

?

[alanheckler]

How can you hate this video?

[DevilWole1995]

wwwwoooowwwww

[itsagooday]

@jffndrwmrs sorry man i am asian, not chinease though.

but this is so fu..king funny. i laugh my ass out.

[Rpabis18]

Its say all you can eat but not foreva!

[666AMC666]

he is so fuckin funny

[marioandl4dfan101]

I bet he scares the food and the wife.

[jesuscat29]

"Sonamabitch!"

[beagle223]

58 people have no souls...

[silentsniperrr]

I GIVE HIM ENOUGH MSG KILL'A ELEPHANT!

[loveme4ever0]

Luv iT:D



[BreathlessWind]

sunuvabetch D8< lawl

[bennyfifty]

this is so funny..........

[19ramcharger92]

haha this has been me nad my dads favorite comedianXD for our whole life just for the chinese buffet sketch!!!hahahahaa

[mocus1]

Eat vech-a-ble !!

[aznscyth]

Face it ! those buffet are opened for average obese Americans.

Is just like the taste of Panda express are especially made for Americans, a lot of sugar, oil and salt.

[canadins2]

it says all you can eat but not for ever

[lifehate1]

who gives a shit its funny as hell

[samantha34ize]

secret of chinese buffet most of the stufft they feed u are garbage form yester or last week mostly scrap they put alot of salt fat oil sugar that it noting more sea food alot of salt

[HappyKillmore18]

Part of this was taken from Louie Anderson

[furbua]

haha! it say eall you can eat but not forever! xDD

[mocus1]

eat vechables !!

[shmuli9]

@mocus1 Heh heh... it's "eat bechtabo"...

[romansoldierofhonor]

me chinese, me play joke, me putt pee pee in your coke.

[amazmace]

It's funny!!!



[kabookiejoe]

55 people who dislike this are buffet owners

[docthemac]

@kabookiejoe LMFAO

[sushipro4000]

u been here 4 owa

y u have spare rib u soo big eat vegitobo

these r some of my fav lines. LOL HAHA TEHE

[MeadowLarkBC]

NUFF MSG TO KILL A ERRAFENT!

[Hopersz85]

Lmfao love this one

[kalinga01]

Hahahha I've seen people overcomsume at chinese buffets. And the buffet owners always come out and stare at the people eating so much food.

[MyPheobe94]

LOL.....John Pinette is like the funniest guy alive!! It says all you can eat but not for ever!!! You still here?! You been here 4 hour!!!!! LOL XD...

[probassangler31]

I give him enough MSG kill an elephant!!

[docthemac]

@probassangler31 BAHAHAHAHA

[SarahIsShameless]

my dad isnt allowed to order the chinese food because when he asks for "no vegetable" he says no veg-it-o-bol

[txbsballstar14]

@SarahIsShameless i do the same thing haha

[graceflanger]

53 people own chinese buffets

[Walley666]

That 1,459 people like this makes it apparent to me how limited the sense of humour of most people is, lol. The underpinning of his 'comedy' is basically the idea of a fat guy eating lots at a buffet. Yeah, hilarious.

It's the kind of crap you'd see in a sitcom... oh wait, you people find *those* hilarious too. Yech, lol.

Wonder how many thumbs down this will get ;).

[Walley666]

@Walley666 Oh, and an asian speaking asian english. Also incredibly hilarious and original!

[shadowgiratina1998]

@Walley666 lol it got lots of thumbs down anyways

[lisatort]

This guy cracks me up!

[joetheazl]

i give him enough msg to kill elephant LOL

[Gurizin]

Funny but the accent switches from Chinese to Black sometimes! LOL

[Theredtail95]

@Gurizin FREE WIRRY!

[rex22neo]

Haha, I love this!

[JaredKinter1981]

"why you eat spare rib? You so big! You need eat vegetable!"

[Theredtail95]

@JaredKinter1981 eat broccori!

[drink64]

Worst chinese impression lol

[Theredtail95]

@drink64 FREE WIRRY!

[rpprevost]

I saw this show in my hotel room in 1997 or 1998 while visiting San Francisco. I had not seen his act before. I laughed so hard I forgot to make note of his name. I've been hooked ever since. But, you don't see much of him anymore. Either that, or I'm not looking in the right place.

[NorrisGProductions]

50 People got their picture hung up in the restaurant, and a'rnt allowed to get food

[shayexu10]

bù jué dé hěn hǎo xiào ā

不 觉 得 很 好 笑 啊

[Pukeman44]

''you go NOOOOOWWWWW!!!! yooo heee'aah foa' owwwahh...''eat mo vegtabow..'' funny shit

[zitalee2]

i rented this dvd and this bit isn't on it :(

[JonnyMonster91]

Not that funny.

[trep1911]

@JonnyMonster91 Not that funny??? Wow its great have you seen his whole act?

[JonnyMonster91]

@trep1911

It's alright. I'm just a bigger fan of alternative comedy, I guess.

[Mobay01]

@JonnyMonster91 Alternative comedy is horseshit. It's fucking boring and sidestepping. It's for unfunny comedians who can't cut it in regular stand up.

[JonnyMonster91]

@Mobay01

lol. Chill out, bro. If you don't like it, don't watch it. I like it. I don't really care for your opinion.

Alternative comedy is alternative because it's different. That's it. It's a little more out of the box and intellectually challenging than making jokes about airplanes and black people. Just like alternative/indie music. It's different and that's often a good thing.

[miyagisan2012]

This guy is one of the best stand-up comics to date!

[alexsims1996]

i give him enough msg to kill an elephent

[AzNSteVeN1267]

HAHAHA

nice accent :D



[sm3xiihobo912]

lmao!

[elc1960]

How many times a day must this guy hear people say to him "You go nowww!" I bet he doesn't even go 1 hour in an average day without hearing it at least once.

[xcx004]

it says all u can eat but not foreva

[badderthanyou]

Wow, a fat guy making fun of himself eating. So cutting edge, so original.

[GordonMorrice]

@badderthanyou What material would you like him to do?

[BlackDiamond1967]

@badderthanyou Wow, a hater watching a video just to hate. How cutting edge, how original.

[badderthanyou]

@BlackDiamond1967 No. His fat head popped up on my screen. Replying to a hater with their ripping off their premise, how unoriginal.

[gamewizard]

@badderthanyou

Better to watch him than Carlos Mencia.

[theraineman21]

is this the guy from the final seinfeld good samaritan episode?

[richdogz204]

LoL... too bad he barrowed that skit from an old Louie Anderson skit... Funny, But the original is hilarious..

[gamewizard]

@richdogz204

This is not a Louie Anderson skit. I remember John Pinette doing this bit back at the same time as when Louie was still doing standup. Louie would have sued him for doing his material at the same time that he was doing it.

[willdai1688]

you had more than a buffet.. check ur gut out u fat americunt..surpised a fat low life like u got a wife...she must be some shitty sight :)

[Jongjinlee]

Omg he's too funny haha.

[robbiekop7]

good analagy of real life Overconsuming Americans eating at the Chinese Buffet of production and the Chinese are getting wise to it

[gamewizard]

@robbiekop7

You're just jealous you can't afford to consume as much as we do.

[LoVeInADiUniVerSe]

@gamewizard wow your braggin about how much we as Americans consume... way to go stand up for a country of fat asses... shits meant to be rebuked not congratulated.. some other countries have a lack of food not even enough to satisfy their hunger even the homeless and poor who live in America but yet we have enough for 1 single person to go in a restaurant and eat as many servings as he pleases that's says many different statements about society as a whole.. no preaching here tho..

[gamewizard]

@LoVeInADiUniVerSe

You're damn right I am. When you live in a country that has been successful as ours has and affords us the opportunity to live better than every other country then you have a right to brag.

[LoVeInADiUniVerSe]

@gamewizard actually it doesn't give you the right to brag if you live in a country thats is doing better than other countries you are blessed you are in a good situation you dont have to scramble for fresh water and food like your life depends on it because it does this is something to be thankful for but not to brag about why would you brag that you have food to a man that is starving that not "right" to brag its actually fucking evil bragging would make you ungrateful & inconsiderate..

[gamewizard]

@LoVeInADiUniVerSe

It;'s not my problem that the governments of other countries don't do the things that our ancestors did to put the USA where it is today. All it takes is enterprise and hard work and you can overcome anything. Do you think we always had abundance of fresh water and food in this country? Hell, no. The pioneers struggled and won over tremendous odds and that's what other countries need to do. If they don't, then that's their problem, not mine.

[LysergIY]

@gamewizard oh and it's not like the last few generation earned it. did you work your ass off for the whole country sake? no. were you in ww1 or ww2 or even in vietnam war? no. even then this country is going into the crapper. when this country falls,your gonna be saying the opposite. or what if another country rises above us with better technology and resources and they brag and say too bad for us. you don't think. you just blurt bullshit out. top of that, your an asshole.

[LoVeInADiUniVerSe]

@gamewizard and why would you brag life is not a competition people are just trying to survive..

[LysergIY]

@gamewizard i don't know why your bragging that we can consume so much. it's not a fucking right. it's a privilege to have so much. only stupid assholes brag about things that are a privilege to have. if i have alot of money, am i right to go up to someone less fortunate and brag that i have more than him or does it make sense to travel to africa and brag to a little boy who is starving that he is unlucky for being born in such a place, to such a government? no.

[xTripleDoublex]

@robbiekop7 Haha cause we're the only country that has Chinese buffet's and fat people eat there right?

[shmuli9]

@robbiekop7 This is a hoot... "Chinese buffets" (or as they say in the UK, 'Oriental buffies') are usually quite awful... I suppose if one NEEDED to eat vegetables (you know, something other than "meat and two veg", which are usually roast beef in a watery gravy, potatoes, and mushy peas), some place like this might be good for that...

[robvollman]

you scare my wife!

[Luv0rSin]

@robvollman LOLLLLLL he is so cute omg

[myusernameisrlylong]

SO FREAKIN FUNNY LOL

[EmmerFan]

He is funny but he keeps doing the same jokes all the time.

[gamewizard]

@EmmerFan

Every comedian does the same jokes all the time. That's what they do. It's not that easy to create new jokes that get laughs so they have to go with what they know will work. The audience also expects to hear the jokes they are familiar with. A comedian who does nothing but new material all the time will lose his audience and won't sell out many venues and will be out of the business pretty quickly.

[Thoralmir]

Wasen't this guy on Seinfeld?

[Altaeris]

@Thoralmir I know the episode you're thinking. No....not the same fat guy.

[Thoralmir]

@Altaeris I meant he was in the series finale. You know, the mugged fat guy in Mass. that Jerry and his friends heckeled instead of helped?

[habs798693]

@Thoralmir Yes, he was the fat guy that was being carjacked in the finale.

[nxxi]

I'm asian and I would have to say that was pretty f*cking funny. U go now.

[changbooger]

z0mg this is s0o0o0o0o racist im s0o0o0o0o 0ffended!!!!

[diditanddone]

YOU GO NAAAAAAAAAOUW!

[turtle2778]

This is by far one of the funniest thing Ive EVER heard. GOD i love it

[elfgirl3]

i have asian family members in my family.. this is not racist.. its just plain funny

[Kikyo361]

" i give enough MSG to kill elephant !"

[MW2Ghost100]

ROFLMAO :)



[manonmaniac]

ooooh I'm fat! Laugh at me... coz there's nothing else funny about me.

[fngnation]

everybody takes this racist shit seriously, this guys just telling a story and making fun of his weight, wheres the problem in that? cmon, i mean im white but when black ppl make fun of whites for dancing, talking, being nice, etc. i laugh my ass off, just relax and have fun, i mean damn, lol. its comedy for a reason.

[aprildenee]

Hahahaha! "It says 'all you can eat' but not fo-ev-ah!"

[halinar1]

Who's crying about this? Lordy.. invest in some thick skin. 

[MarieandAnnaTV1]

Funny stuff

[kentuck121]

it says all you can eat but not forever lol

[Tman1997abc1]

you been here four hour you go now

[getowned2day]

hecka fat

[SmeurkeDeKat]

Yoo Hea Fo Owah XD

[kabookiejoe]

lighten up folks, hes making fun of himself

[carlytwilightluvr]

hahaha, it says all u can eat but not forever xD

[jimbobjun]

this is completely and utterly unfunny

[firewalled1951]

@jimbobjun

Here's a hint for you. Stop watching John Pinette videos.He makes fun of people and you don't have a sense of humour.

[sebastiankeith]

come on' hes funny. Hes also making fun of himself! This world is too cynical as it is. just laugh a bit ; )

[assface567]

except for the time when he is really funny

[Allen0358]

Funny!

[tonycl568]

"Enough MSG to kill an elephant"

That's just too funny

[simboy69]

Same stuff!

[thebratfelicia]

i love it

[MACABREMARIPOSA]

"you go now...you here 4 owa"

[cnlangzy]

you scared me

[gmf1999]

lol! it says all u can eat but, not forever!

you go now. you scare my wife! lol ha ha

[mixelpixel]

Wow, 20 years and this guy is still doing the same material.

[onlyhuman41]

You expect a video posted on YouTube to change over time?

[hadokenchild]

@mixelpixel It's standard practice in comedy. Comedians will have signature bits that they do over and over. They just rotate some of the popular ones in and out of their routine so as to not get to redundant. I'm pretty sure he hasn't done this bit at every show he's ever done.

[FluviousMaximus]

you scare my wife!