@vjwileycat narcissists always have an agenda to what they are doing and it's usually not very good. The question is is he a Narcissist or toxic person. Only you can descide if he is toxic a doctor if he is a narcissist.
Thx james for this video, ive often found myself hoping my X would grow up and want to come back, i believe now that is not Healthy thinking.. Im trying hard to rebuild my life..ThankYou
exactly James and the answer is a BIG FAT NO ! lol BTW taking of revenge and how they try and get their revenge Mr Crapomatic decided to cut my internet cables today. However what he didn't realise is that I had already changed service providers weeks ago and I dont use the cable at the front of the house anymore LOL so he was wasting his time. More stuff for me to log with the police including criminal damage and another nail in his coffin.
I saw the title of this one and was like why on earth would anyone take on back, if they were something you could take back to the store and return, I could understand that.
And another thing!! I'm not sure if it is this video or not... She started lying when we first dated. I wrote it off though. She tells my family and hers that I treat her bad. But she doesn't give details. That is the bread crumbs right there. I think they do this for control or to get out of the marriage later on when they are done using you!
These types of people love to cause so much drama. My best friend had to deal with a woman like this. She is so manipulated that she even started believing her own lies!!! I even had to deal with her over a stupid facebook discussion, & she told lies about me to her boyfriend. Honestly, it is best not to even hang around these people. After you've had a experience from them, avoid them & move on. Let them become bitter old hags
I am a Male Narcissist and have been since the young young age of 6... While I do not understand the emotions of others often and have complications feeling sadness and happiness... I like to think in love narcissists can show honesty. I am not as Toxic as you would think by nature... Much like the Emo A Narcissist just needs to have enough love to care. Which admittedly is a LOT and I am rather heartless to the complete stranger... I guess I am terrible but it is in my nature as is love.
@LouisOn3 well no you just telling yourself you not a worthless watse of time , energy and sourse of suffering to all around you. The sad part is some real human being would feel bad if something happened to you. so find a way to live without contact with other people, find a cave and contact no one, or maybe a alligator pit you coudl throw yourself in and serve as a meal to fellow reptile? really its hard to think of a pupose for narcistic that serves the living?
@j2bodydouble I may be a narcissist but you a straight up asshole. People will always like me more than you and I will always love myself more than you love yourself because your a terrible person. Your inabbility to feel love of yourself makes you bitter and hating to not only yourself but the entire world around you. I am sure my friends enjoy my company more than the world enjoys the company of a bitter prick such as Yourself.
@LouisOn3 yes your a legend in your own mind, and you think all would do the same as you if they only saw how great you really are. You have love confused with a state of narcistic feeding or attention sucking.
Who are you trying to fool me or yourself? go back to the rocks with the other snakes , shoo shoo
@j2bodydouble If you can never be happy with yourself you have no hope in hell of ever being loved KID. You fucking emo people are worse then any narcicist who ever lived. Attention starved soul sucking freaks who bring down everyone around you. WELL GUESS WHAT! I don't hate myself, you can't make me hate myself and nothing in this world can make me hate myself but my own actions. I can live without the constant approval of others. I am not some soul sucking Emo kid you seem to have narcissists
@j2bodydouble Mixed up with. I am a real person who has real feelings and just doesn't give a fuck about what you think or anyone else thinks. I will always be happy and that can't be taken away from me. So hate and loathe and be the jealous cock sucker you know you are because I don't need a woman or mans approval, I don't need a girl, I don't need anything to reach contentment. All you people are good for is hate. But really all us "narcisists" know is you fucking hate yourselves and scapegoat
@j2bodydouble People who could be happy in this world if you were not in it. Your everfucking endless flow of Negativity dooming everyone around you untill everyone feels as shitty as you do. PROUD NARCISISM! I will Love Myself! I will love others! I will always see the brightest side and make everyone around me as happy as possible. I strive for everyone to be as happy as me one day! I hope you find yourself as miserable as you are right now forever. Didn't you pay attention in church?
@j2bodydouble One must love yourself and love thy Neighbour and now everyone who loves themselves no matter what is branded mentally handicapped. I am sorry but its you who is a deranged monster who tries to slither people into the temptation of hatred and evil. It is people like you who make others suffer for your own enjoyment. Who is left to clean up the ashes of sadistic fuckers like you? Who brind down and make everyone feel sadistically depressed?
@j2bodydouble That is people like me. The narcissist. I don't need others to make me happy I am always happy. So naturally who do people come to for comfort? For joy? To have a good time after spending a day with sadistic freaks like you branding people and judging like its no tomorrow? Only a narcissist can be counted on as someone who will always brighten the day. Who will be happy and persevere always. Not All narcissists need to step on people. But if I could I would step on you.
@j2bodydouble Your a damn Sinner, racist, Hater of your fellow man, and above all else emotionally crippled weakling who can't get over their own problems so they have to scapegoat people with a disability that changes the way we think. I think my way of thought is better. Maybe thats the narcissism talking or the common sense that your sadness and depression and loathing and hate is bullshit and I will never become a part of a hate agenda like the rest of you DUMB. AMERICAN. FUCKS.
@j2bodydouble Moral of the Story?: I can judge you just as badly as you can judge me. What if I said all these things and none of them were true? that was surely the fucking case with what you said about me. So maybe you should save your hate for racism or Democrats or whatever you American assholes hate nowadays.
EVEN THEN she is saying she is the victim!!!! I made her sick and feeling like she may die when it was her pressing bad habits and lies and worry transfer of energy and saying I am playing the victim role!!!!! I swear!!!!
@jockme1 and one thing to understand about these types is they know the relationship will go bad sooner or later because they are bad. So what they do is drop little bread crumbs to their friends and peers that makes them think she is the vicitm and you are the aggressor well and advance. The types have this planned out even during the honeymoon phase when you first meet them. This is just what these types of people do.
@begood4000 you are so right she watched your video and made it seem that I make her want to die with my actions... Hmmm lets see how is a man suppose to act when a person lies break ups with me 20 times, lies about small things, create drama when there is peace. Leave in absence for days for no good reason... then expect me to be calm and sane with their crazy non consistent behavior. I'll admit she made me a parinoid narc. I was fine b4 I met her.
@jockme1 yes, it's good to take a minute and take a look in the mirror before reacting and think about how it will impact your situation for the worse. Then sit back and chill a bit and let her not get to you.
@begood4000 - The scary thing I've heard and experienced, is that they tend to turn us into 'them' (absorbing us like a sponge absorbs water) - before I left my XH, I felt angry all the time, irritable, and had 'visions' of myself acting in violence towards him. it scared me...I'm normally not a violent person, but the fact that I kept 'seeing' myself doing violent things towards him really freaked me out.
@Hawaiiansky11 sadly so this can happen. That's why I tell those that are angry about being the victim of a narcissist to seak therapy and work out their anger in a healthy way, and to not do anything rash. Some say they want to get the person back by doing this or that, and I always say DON'T DO IT. Never seak revenge against these people as you just turn right into who they are as people and you fall deeper into their web.
@begood4000 - Agreed. I learned that the hard way by trying to hold my NPD bully supervisor accountable...never works. People like 'us' can not possibly out-manipulate an NPD. Besides, they are already 10 steps ahead and have others convinced that we are (fill in derogatory description)...by the time we 'snap' they just have to sit back with that sickening smug look and say, "See? I told you so! She/He is the problem, not me!"
Men seem to find this 'unmanly' (don't know why??) but journaling. Journaling and writing down the good times against the bad times (and measuring them by how bad or how good they actually were) will help you to remember the 'bad fruit' and mark how everytime a narcissist was 'nice' to you was because they wanted something from you. They are NEVER NEVER nice to you just because. There are ALWAYS ALWAYS strings attached.
To a narcissist, other people = meal ticket, normalcy prop, extension of themselves (rather than individuals with rights of their own), someone to 'fix' (to keep from looking at own flaws), someone to give the Narcissist glory ( a la "Dance Moms").
You cannot 'love' something that you see as a 'thing' rather than as a human.
You cannot 'win' with these people. Even knowing what they really are, doesn't help you to deal with them unless you are willing to sacrifice your sould to (temporarily) suck up to them until you can prepare yourself to get out.
Don't forget - this can and does happen in work relationships as well. I've tried every possible outlet available, and now am doing everything I can to get out of the department. White flag? Or throwing the life preserver to myself??
What you said about the narcissist wanting and begging you to come back to them, so that they can take revenge to get back at you is so very accurate! They do not have the ability to have 'empathy' so only see others as objects to use, and they do this through very clever manipulation. They do not have the ability to 'love', but have learned how to act and to use this word to get who and what they want. What they think is "love" is really only "neediness".
Yes I agree. It's not that these people won't change it is that that can't change. It's really unfortunate for them but you have to keep yourself safe and healthy. I have several people in my life that I have to exercise tough boundaries with.
@raby760, a few weeks ago, I told an ex-friend not to talk to me anymore. I told him that he's crazy, and I can't deal with this bullshit. He tried to turn it around on me, as if I were the crazy one. I don't care what he thinks. He was my friend since the 2nd grade, after I came back from the military, he's always started arguments. He would apologize after I stop talking to him, then argue again. It took me longer than others to cut this guy loose, but I did. I hope this toxic guy keeps away.
@raby760 you did the right thing. Yes, this can happen with friends along with spouses. People don't realize keeping a toxic friend around is like carring a 200lb barbell on your back all day long. Getting away and staying away is the only answer.
@begood4000, thanks for your input. I also felt as if it was the right thing, which is why I finally put my foot down. As you said in the past, it can happen from both genders, to any gender. And as you said in your comment, it's not only with spouses. It is possible to have toxic friends.
Also, you're on point with your barbell analogy. As I've explained to others, "being this guy's friend was like a full-time job".
Comment removed
vjwileycat 1 month ago
@vjwileycat narcissists always have an agenda to what they are doing and it's usually not very good. The question is is he a Narcissist or toxic person. Only you can descide if he is toxic a doctor if he is a narcissist.
begood4000 1 month ago
Very insightful video. Thank you so much!
PandafulCupcake 2 months ago
@PandafulCupcake Yw. I'm glad you liked it.
begood4000 2 months ago
Say No Way to Scammer! I have almost lost every thing except my fighting spirit.
Nelson10125 2 months ago
Should have watched this earlier -.-
Such a important part on this topic narsacism.
Thanks for the video's, cant wait to see more from you! :D
Bronwardie 3 months ago
@Bronwardie I'm glad you liked it.
begood4000 3 months ago
James, thanks so much for your videos , they are a great help !
1n2k3v4m 3 months ago
@1n2k3v4m yw. I'm glad you lke them and they are helpful.
begood4000 3 months ago
Thx james for this video, ive often found myself hoping my X would grow up and want to come back, i believe now that is not Healthy thinking.. Im trying hard to rebuild my life..ThankYou
karlbuttler 3 months ago
@karlbuttler I'm glad you see the truth
begood4000 3 months ago
exactly James and the answer is a BIG FAT NO ! lol BTW taking of revenge and how they try and get their revenge Mr Crapomatic decided to cut my internet cables today. However what he didn't realise is that I had already changed service providers weeks ago and I dont use the cable at the front of the house anymore LOL so he was wasting his time. More stuff for me to log with the police including criminal damage and another nail in his coffin.
noordinarylife7 3 months ago
I saw the title of this one and was like why on earth would anyone take on back, if they were something you could take back to the store and return, I could understand that.
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
@j2bodydouble many people wish they could take their narcissists back to the narcissist factory if there is one.
begood4000 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
And another thing!! I'm not sure if it is this video or not... She started lying when we first dated. I wrote it off though. She tells my family and hers that I treat her bad. But she doesn't give details. That is the bread crumbs right there. I think they do this for control or to get out of the marriage later on when they are done using you!
JCMAGIC7 4 months ago
These types of people love to cause so much drama. My best friend had to deal with a woman like this. She is so manipulated that she even started believing her own lies!!! I even had to deal with her over a stupid facebook discussion, & she told lies about me to her boyfriend. Honestly, it is best not to even hang around these people. After you've had a experience from them, avoid them & move on. Let them become bitter old hags
DJBrokenHigh 4 months ago
I am a Male Narcissist and have been since the young young age of 6... While I do not understand the emotions of others often and have complications feeling sadness and happiness... I like to think in love narcissists can show honesty. I am not as Toxic as you would think by nature... Much like the Emo A Narcissist just needs to have enough love to care. Which admittedly is a LOT and I am rather heartless to the complete stranger... I guess I am terrible but it is in my nature as is love.
LouisOn3 5 months ago
@LouisOn3 well no you just telling yourself you not a worthless watse of time , energy and sourse of suffering to all around you. The sad part is some real human being would feel bad if something happened to you. so find a way to live without contact with other people, find a cave and contact no one, or maybe a alligator pit you coudl throw yourself in and serve as a meal to fellow reptile? really its hard to think of a pupose for narcistic that serves the living?
j2bodydouble 4 months ago
@j2bodydouble I may be a narcissist but you a straight up asshole. People will always like me more than you and I will always love myself more than you love yourself because your a terrible person. Your inabbility to feel love of yourself makes you bitter and hating to not only yourself but the entire world around you. I am sure my friends enjoy my company more than the world enjoys the company of a bitter prick such as Yourself.
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@LouisOn3 yes your a legend in your own mind, and you think all would do the same as you if they only saw how great you really are. You have love confused with a state of narcistic feeding or attention sucking.
Who are you trying to fool me or yourself? go back to the rocks with the other snakes , shoo shoo
j2bodydouble 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble If you can never be happy with yourself you have no hope in hell of ever being loved KID. You fucking emo people are worse then any narcicist who ever lived. Attention starved soul sucking freaks who bring down everyone around you. WELL GUESS WHAT! I don't hate myself, you can't make me hate myself and nothing in this world can make me hate myself but my own actions. I can live without the constant approval of others. I am not some soul sucking Emo kid you seem to have narcissists
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble Mixed up with. I am a real person who has real feelings and just doesn't give a fuck about what you think or anyone else thinks. I will always be happy and that can't be taken away from me. So hate and loathe and be the jealous cock sucker you know you are because I don't need a woman or mans approval, I don't need a girl, I don't need anything to reach contentment. All you people are good for is hate. But really all us "narcisists" know is you fucking hate yourselves and scapegoat
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble People who could be happy in this world if you were not in it. Your everfucking endless flow of Negativity dooming everyone around you untill everyone feels as shitty as you do. PROUD NARCISISM! I will Love Myself! I will love others! I will always see the brightest side and make everyone around me as happy as possible. I strive for everyone to be as happy as me one day! I hope you find yourself as miserable as you are right now forever. Didn't you pay attention in church?
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble One must love yourself and love thy Neighbour and now everyone who loves themselves no matter what is branded mentally handicapped. I am sorry but its you who is a deranged monster who tries to slither people into the temptation of hatred and evil. It is people like you who make others suffer for your own enjoyment. Who is left to clean up the ashes of sadistic fuckers like you? Who brind down and make everyone feel sadistically depressed?
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble That is people like me. The narcissist. I don't need others to make me happy I am always happy. So naturally who do people come to for comfort? For joy? To have a good time after spending a day with sadistic freaks like you branding people and judging like its no tomorrow? Only a narcissist can be counted on as someone who will always brighten the day. Who will be happy and persevere always. Not All narcissists need to step on people. But if I could I would step on you.
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble Your a damn Sinner, racist, Hater of your fellow man, and above all else emotionally crippled weakling who can't get over their own problems so they have to scapegoat people with a disability that changes the way we think. I think my way of thought is better. Maybe thats the narcissism talking or the common sense that your sadness and depression and loathing and hate is bullshit and I will never become a part of a hate agenda like the rest of you DUMB. AMERICAN. FUCKS.
LouisOn3 3 months ago
@j2bodydouble Moral of the Story?: I can judge you just as badly as you can judge me. What if I said all these things and none of them were true? that was surely the fucking case with what you said about me. So maybe you should save your hate for racism or Democrats or whatever you American assholes hate nowadays.
LouisOn3 3 months ago
EVEN THEN she is saying she is the victim!!!! I made her sick and feeling like she may die when it was her pressing bad habits and lies and worry transfer of energy and saying I am playing the victim role!!!!! I swear!!!!
jockme1 5 months ago
@jockme1 and one thing to understand about these types is they know the relationship will go bad sooner or later because they are bad. So what they do is drop little bread crumbs to their friends and peers that makes them think she is the vicitm and you are the aggressor well and advance. The types have this planned out even during the honeymoon phase when you first meet them. This is just what these types of people do.
begood4000 5 months ago
@begood4000 you are so right she watched your video and made it seem that I make her want to die with my actions... Hmmm lets see how is a man suppose to act when a person lies break ups with me 20 times, lies about small things, create drama when there is peace. Leave in absence for days for no good reason... then expect me to be calm and sane with their crazy non consistent behavior. I'll admit she made me a parinoid narc. I was fine b4 I met her.
jockme1 5 months ago
@begood4000 and my gut told me since I found out her lies that she was no good.
jockme1 5 months ago
@begood4000 she probably reading this no hunting my tracks. I swear I almost did what she NORMALLY does... I had to look in the mirror.
jockme1 5 months ago
@jockme1 yes, it's good to take a minute and take a look in the mirror before reacting and think about how it will impact your situation for the worse. Then sit back and chill a bit and let her not get to you.
begood4000 5 months ago
@begood4000 thanks man you helped out a lot Much respect... I'm going to try my best to spread this truth.
jockme1 5 months ago
@jockme1 I'm really glad, and I really appreciate that you're spreading the word. That's really nice man.
begood4000 5 months ago
@begood4000 - The scary thing I've heard and experienced, is that they tend to turn us into 'them' (absorbing us like a sponge absorbs water) - before I left my XH, I felt angry all the time, irritable, and had 'visions' of myself acting in violence towards him. it scared me...I'm normally not a violent person, but the fact that I kept 'seeing' myself doing violent things towards him really freaked me out.
Hawaiiansky11 5 months ago
@Hawaiiansky11 sadly so this can happen. That's why I tell those that are angry about being the victim of a narcissist to seak therapy and work out their anger in a healthy way, and to not do anything rash. Some say they want to get the person back by doing this or that, and I always say DON'T DO IT. Never seak revenge against these people as you just turn right into who they are as people and you fall deeper into their web.
begood4000 5 months ago
@begood4000 - Agreed. I learned that the hard way by trying to hold my NPD bully supervisor accountable...never works. People like 'us' can not possibly out-manipulate an NPD. Besides, they are already 10 steps ahead and have others convinced that we are (fill in derogatory description)...by the time we 'snap' they just have to sit back with that sickening smug look and say, "See? I told you so! She/He is the problem, not me!"
Hawaiiansky11 5 months ago
@Hawaiiansky11 that is exactly what happens !
begood4000 5 months ago
Men seem to find this 'unmanly' (don't know why??) but journaling. Journaling and writing down the good times against the bad times (and measuring them by how bad or how good they actually were) will help you to remember the 'bad fruit' and mark how everytime a narcissist was 'nice' to you was because they wanted something from you. They are NEVER NEVER nice to you just because. There are ALWAYS ALWAYS strings attached.
Hawaiiansky11 5 months ago
@Hawaiiansky11 I agree Journaling is KEY
begood4000 5 months ago
To a narcissist, other people = meal ticket, normalcy prop, extension of themselves (rather than individuals with rights of their own), someone to 'fix' (to keep from looking at own flaws), someone to give the Narcissist glory ( a la "Dance Moms").
You cannot 'love' something that you see as a 'thing' rather than as a human.
Hawaiiansky11 5 months ago
@Hawaiiansky11 yup.
jockme1 5 months ago
You cannot 'win' with these people. Even knowing what they really are, doesn't help you to deal with them unless you are willing to sacrifice your sould to (temporarily) suck up to them until you can prepare yourself to get out.
Don't forget - this can and does happen in work relationships as well. I've tried every possible outlet available, and now am doing everything I can to get out of the department. White flag? Or throwing the life preserver to myself??
Hawaiiansky11 5 months ago
What you said about the narcissist wanting and begging you to come back to them, so that they can take revenge to get back at you is so very accurate! They do not have the ability to have 'empathy' so only see others as objects to use, and they do this through very clever manipulation. They do not have the ability to 'love', but have learned how to act and to use this word to get who and what they want. What they think is "love" is really only "neediness".
Thanks again, James!
ayemaya75 6 months ago 4
Yes I agree. It's not that these people won't change it is that that can't change. It's really unfortunate for them but you have to keep yourself safe and healthy. I have several people in my life that I have to exercise tough boundaries with.
RenegadeJuggler 6 months ago
No!
raby760 6 months ago
@raby760 exactly ;)
begood4000 6 months ago
@raby760, a few weeks ago, I told an ex-friend not to talk to me anymore. I told him that he's crazy, and I can't deal with this bullshit. He tried to turn it around on me, as if I were the crazy one. I don't care what he thinks. He was my friend since the 2nd grade, after I came back from the military, he's always started arguments. He would apologize after I stop talking to him, then argue again. It took me longer than others to cut this guy loose, but I did. I hope this toxic guy keeps away.
raby760 6 months ago 2
@raby760 you did the right thing. Yes, this can happen with friends along with spouses. People don't realize keeping a toxic friend around is like carring a 200lb barbell on your back all day long. Getting away and staying away is the only answer.
begood4000 6 months ago
@begood4000, thanks for your input. I also felt as if it was the right thing, which is why I finally put my foot down. As you said in the past, it can happen from both genders, to any gender. And as you said in your comment, it's not only with spouses. It is possible to have toxic friends.
Also, you're on point with your barbell analogy. As I've explained to others, "being this guy's friend was like a full-time job".
raby760 6 months ago